Aftershocks III
by Rachel500
Summary: A series of TAGs for Seasons Five and Six. The team face loss, heartache and change as a new Goa'uld foe emerges from the shadows.
1. Friend and Foe

Stargate SG1 is somebody else's, probably MGM/Gekko Corp/Sci-fi, and I freely admit that whoever's it is, I'm borrowing their show and they retain all rights, etc

**Final Update 23rd March 2010:** And so we're at the end of Season 6! Phew! It's been a long road to finish this volume but we've made it. I just want to say a very big thank you to everyone who reads Aftershocks. Your support for the series gives me so much pleasure and encouragement. Particularly thanks to everyone who has left a review or sent me a message: it means a lot to me. So, onwards to the final instalment of vol.3: "The Descending Trilogy" which TAGs the episode 'Full Circle.' If you would like to stay with the series when it returns after a short break with volume 4 (Seasons Seven and Eight), I would suggest you add me to your author alerts if you haven't already. And, THANK YOU!

**Author's Notes:**

This is the third volume of Aftershocks and will contain TAGs for Season Five and Season Six. The TAGs focus on how the characters reacted to their various missions, what impact it had on them and their relationships. As I briefly recap the episode that precedes it at the head of the story and sometimes foreshadow to future episodes, there are spoilers for all the Stargate SG1 episodes included! Each chapter is a TAG; each is complete/stand alone although like Stargate there are continuing themes from story to story. Updates may be irregular given real life insanity.

Please note pairings are in line with those implied or established within the series, (e.g. Jack/Sam, Daniel/Sha're, Teal'c/Drey'auc). There is an author's note preceding each story with any specific story dynamics highlighted.

You will find Aftershocks vol 1 (TAGs covering Seasons One and Two) and Aftershocks vol 2 (TAGs covering Seasons Three and Four) under my profile. It is not necessary to read the previous volumes to read this. :)

o-O-o

**Author's Note: **Teal'c/team friendship. Mild Sam/Jack UST.

**Exodus/Enemies Recap:** _SG1 and Jacob arrive at Vorash to help the Tok'ra move to a new base. Tanith is taken aback by their arrival and their transport – the mothership they procured from Cronus. The Tok'ra finally reveal to Tanith that they know of his deception and arrest him; they will extract the symbiote from the host and leave the symbiote behind when they leave. Although Tanith attempts to rile Teal'c into killing him, Teal'c resists, noting Tanith will not get out of it so easy. However, as the efforts to move their base continue, Tanith escapes and a search fails to find him._

_Meanwhile, Apophis and his fleet are en route to Vorash. Plans are altered with Sam and Jacob proposing an ambitious plan to blow up Apophis's fleet by blowing up the sun. As the Tok'ra make their way through the Stargate, the plan goes into action and the sun begins to destabilise. Unfortunately the mothership is attacked by an alkesh; determined that it should not land on Vorash and allow Tanith to escape, Teal'c pursues it obsessively, and ends up crashing the glider containing himself and Jack. As they make their way to the rings, they are ambushed – Teal'c is shot and Tanith rings aboard Apophis's ship with the Jaffa. _

_Jack is rescued from Vorash by the rest of SG1, telling them sadly that he thinks Teal'c is dead. They make their escape as the sun explodes but are caught in some kind of energy surge and end up in a different galaxy, a long way from home with a damaged ship._

_They are disturbed to realise that Apophis's ship has also made the same journey and just as Apophis seems about to destroy them, another ship arrives and begins firing on Apophis. Jacob moves their ship into the sun's corona for protection while they make repairs. When they emerge, Apophis's ship is devoid of lifesigns and the other ship is nowhere to be seen. They ring aboard hoping to seize the ship and use it to get home – or at the least get the crystals they need to make repairs on their own ship. They find Replicators and only just get back to their own ship in time to get enough distance from Apophis's as it self-destructs._

_A cargo ship appears and hails them; it is Teal'c who claims to have escaped with some fellow Jaffa. They allow his ship to dock but when SG1 go to greet him, Teal'c pulls a weapon on them and Apophis appears, congratulating the Jaffa on rightly retaking his place as his First Prime. SG1 are imprisoned along with Jacob by an obviously brainwashed Teal'c. The Replicators have also got on board though and SG1 get free when the mechanical bugs short out the systems. They grab an unwilling Teal'c and take the cargo ship. But they realise the mothership is heading for Apophis's planet and they cannot allow the Replicators to get a hold in their galaxy. Jack, Sam and Daniel destroy the sublight engines which means the mothership cannot decelerate. As the cargo ship makes its escape with SG1 and Jacob on board, the mothership carrying Apophis crashes into the planet; Apophis is finally dead and the Replicators destroyed._

_As Jack goes to check on Teal'c, Jacob notes that they have his body back but getting his mind back will be much more difficult. _

**Friend and Foe**

Teal'c regarded the humans in the cargo ship through narrow eyes. Vermin, he thought darkly. They would soon be eradicated when his Lord Apophis rose again. He did not believe the lies he had been told. His God was not dead. Had not Apophis risen before from death? He knew the truth.

Jack O'Neill stirred in the corner; the military man got to his feet, briefly checking on the sleeping form of Daniel Jackson before he walked into the forward area. Teal'c pointedly ignored him as he passed. It sickened Teal'c to think of all the times he'd had the opportunity to take O'Neill's life; of all the times he had let those opportunities slip through his fingers to remain undercover. He ignored the whispering voice in his mind reminding him of all the times he had saved O'Neill. He had always been in the service of his God. He had saved O'Neill because not to have saved him would have drawn suspicion.

His God had required such a sacrifice from him; Apophis had wanted Teal'c to go with the humans, to learn as much as he could from them in order so that he could destroy them. His mind skipped over the inconsistencies; of facing Apophis in battle, of his son's brainwashing, his joy at Apophis's death and his anger at hearing of his survival after Netu. It was all part of the illusion constructed so that the humans would believe in his betrayal, Teal'c thought resolutely; all part of Apophis's plan to draw out the Jaffa who would betray their God and to reveal the location of the Tok'ra.

His dark eyes slid sideways to Daniel Jackson. The archaeologist was slumped against the wall of the cargo hold. His glasses were askew on his slack face; a gentle snore rumbling through his chest.

Weak, mused Teal'c. He could easily snap the man's neck in two; easily dispose of the fool who had lusted after Apophis's Queen. He turned his head silently back to the forward area.

Voices drifted through the open door; O'Neill's sarcasm backlit with the melodic counterpoint of Samantha Carter and the deeper tone of her father without the distortion of his Tok'ra symbiote. Teal'c's face contorted into a snarl. O'Neill's feelings for the Major were his downfall; love had no place in battle something O'Neill seemed to have realised after he had almost killed her. In the weeks since, he had instituted a more professional demeanour without the flirting and banter that Teal'c had observed before but Teal'c knew O'Neill's feelings had not truly diminished.

Teal'c's face smoothed. O'Neill would be distracted and possibly for some time by Samantha Carter. They had bound his hands and feet, and he was still wounded but it would not stop him. It would be easy to kill Daniel Jackson.

Revenge for his God.

Teal'c's eyes hardened with determination, dark and uncompromising cruelty. He pressed his full lips together and shifted silently. He crawled across the expanse of floor; he did not make a sound.

Daniel Jackson slept on.

Teal'c inched closer. He came close to brushing the man's booted foot but a quick correction of his balance had him sliding past by a whisper.

He was within reach. His face rippled into a mask of hatred as his hands rose to deliver a killing blow to the human's neck.

'Teal'c!'

O'Neill's cry spurred him forward even as Daniel Jackson's blue eyes opened and blinked at him innocently in confusion.

The blow to the side of Teal'c's head caught him by surprise; he sailed through the air and rolled across the floor.

He dimly registered another blow. Perhaps O'Neill had not been as distracted as he had believed, Teal'c mused with frustrated fury. It was his last thought as another blow sent him into black oblivion.

o-O-o

'Teal'c's pretty beaten up.'

Jack squirmed under Janet Fraiser's accusing look. He raised his hands in a defeated gesture. 'He was about to kill Daniel.'

Everyone's eyes flickered to Daniel sat at the briefing table next to Janet.

Daniel smiled, embarrassed. 'I'm fine.'

His eyes moved to Jack across the table who acknowledged the silent gratitude with a pained grimace. Jack was a little uncomfortable at how close it had been and chagrined at leaving Teal'c alone with Daniel to check on their flight progress, giving Teal'c the opportunity in the first place.

'Teal'c has been brainwashed.' Sam said quietly as though prompted to remind them all why the Jaffa had tried to kill a team-mate.

General Hammond nodded thoughtfully. His round face had been so happy and relieved when SG1 had walked through the Stargate but the sight of an unconscious Teal'c and the news of his brainwashing had meant the relief had been short lived to say the least.

Jack felt a rush of guilt curdle in his gut. As far as Jack was concerned, it was his fault that Teal'c had ended up brainwashed. If Jack had foreseen the ambush on Vorash or had been able to prevent the Goa'uld Tanith from taking Teal'c's body, perhaps it could have been prevented. Of course, his Jaffa team-mate might just have ended up dead instead of in solitary confinement in an infirmary isolation room, strapped to a bed with restraints and under guard.

'Do we know how Apophis managed to brainwash Teal'c in such a relatively short space of time?' Hammond asked concerned.

The remaining members of SG1 looked at each other for once at a loss.

'It was probably through the sarcophagus when Teal'c was healed.' Jacob chimed in from his place next to Sam.

Hammond raised his pale eyebrows. 'How?'

A dip of the head signalled Selmak, Jacob's symbiote taking over. 'If a drug such as nishta is placed in the sarcophagus during healing,' Selmak explained, 'the subject is extremely compliant and open to suggestion on waking.'

Another dip.

Jacob cleared his throat. 'It's extremely rare but very effective.'

Hammond nodded. 'So how do we reverse this?'

'Zat?' Jack suggested.

'Right,' Daniel agreed enthusiastically, pushing his glasses up his nose, 'it worked on us when we were under the nishta's influence.'

'And Rya'c.' Sam added.

Jacob shook his head. 'Not in this case. Because the nishta is employed during the sarcophagus healing, it penetrates into the cells at a much deeper level. An electrical charge would be useless at counteracting it.'

'Then what?' Jack demanded before Hammond could speak. 'How do we get him back?'

'It won't be easy.' Jacob said calmly, folding his hands over his stomach. 'I can probably tell what won't work more than I can tell you what will.' He looked at Jack apologetically. 'The Tok'ra have never heard of anyone recovering from this type of brainwashing.'

There was a bitter silence as everyone digested the information.

'Doctor?' Hammond turned to the petite medic, unaware that his voice held a hint of the desperation the group all felt.

Janet took a deep breath and sat forward, clasping her hands atop the folder in front of her. 'Well, sir,' she wet her lips, 'there are some psychological therapies we can try but I can't guarantee how successful they would be given the influence of this drug on Teal'c's physiology.'

'Is there anything about the Jaffa physiology that may help us here?' Hammond asked urgently. 'Wouldn't his symbiote be able to,' he gestured at the doctor, 'neutralise the drug?'

'It's not in its interests.' Jacob answered before Janet could reply. 'If anything it may be keeping the drug present in Teal'c's system.'

'It may also be possible that it's reinforcing the brainwashing.' Daniel added.

'What?' Jack asked bemused.

'Well, we know from Sho'nac's experiments that the symbiote and the Jaffa can communicate when a deep state of kel no reem is achieved.' Daniel explained, motioning at Jack.

Jack glared at him, still not comprehending the archaeologist's point. 'So?'

'So, it's not unreasonable to assume the symbiote is probably able to subconsciously influence the Jaffa in reverse.' Daniel said. 'In this case, suggesting subconsciously to Teal'c that Apophis's lies are true.'

'I don't know, Daniel.' Sam murmured. 'That's quite a leap.' She turned to her father. 'Dad?'

Jacob shrugged. 'I don't know. The Tok'ra don't use Jaffa, and according to Selmak, what they know about them and the interaction between the symbiote and the Jaffa is fairly limited.'

'We could do with an expert in Jaffa physiology to assist.' Janet commented seriously.

'Bra'tac.' Daniel said suddenly.

Jack's face brightened and he pointed the pen he had picked up at the archaeologist. 'Now that's an idea.'

Sam turned to Hammond. 'Bra'tac may be Teal'c's best hope, sir.'

'Do we even know where Bra'tac is?' Hammond asked, looking to each member of SG1 in turn.

Sam leaned forward. 'We could probably start at the rebel Jaffa camp.'

Daniel nodded enthusiastically. 'He's probably settling in the members of Cronus's Jaffa who joined them.'

Hammond looked at Jack.

'It's a plan.' Jack commented dryly. He didn't add it was the only one they had that had a chance of working; he knew they were all too aware of the odds.

'One that will wait until all members of SG1 have rested.' Janet jumped in firmly.

'Doc…' Jack began to protest.

Her determined face stared him down. 'I insist, Colonel.' Her dark eyes flickered to the General. 'Twenty-four hours, sir.'

Hammond shifted under her expectant gaze. 'Very well.'

'Sir.' Jack shook his head in disbelief.

'You heard the doctor, Colonel.' Hammond stressed gently. 'Twenty-four hours is not going to make a difference.' He turned back to his CMO. 'In the meantime, begin whatever treatment for Teal'c you see fit.'

'Yes, sir.' Janet nodded.

'Maybe we can talk to Teal'c again.' Daniel suggested. 'If we can convince him that he has been brainwashed, he may be able to tell us what we need to do to reverse it.'

Jack looked unconvinced as did Hammond.

'Perhaps.' The General said diplomatically.

'I'm afraid I can't stay around.' Jacob smiled apologetically. 'I have to get back to the Tok'ra and report on Apophis's demise.'

'Of course.' Hammond agreed understandingly. 'If you'll excuse me, I'll leave SG1 to see to your departure. I need to make a few phone calls on that matter myself.' He stood up.

Jacob stood along with the other military personnel and reached over to shake his old friend's hand. 'It was good to see you again.'

Hammond nodded. 'Likewise, Jacob. Don't be a stranger.' He gave another nod of acknowledgement to everyone around the table and strode away to his office.

Jack stuck his hands in his pockets and jerked his head at the control room. 'After you, Jacob.'

Daniel raised his hand as he watched Janet disappearing out of the doorway to the corridor and elevator. 'I'll, uh, go and see how Teal'c is doing. Have a, er, good trip, Jacob.'

Jacob nodded in reply and Daniel darted away. Jack waved Sam's father down the stairs and they made their way into the control room where Jacob gave the technician his coordinates. They walked down to the gate room while the Stargate spun, dialling the address.

'We did good.' Jacob reminded Jack and Sam as they waited for the wormhole. 'The Goa'uld will be in disarray for a while given Apophis's defeat. This is a significant victory.'

'Right.' Jack agreed caustically. It just didn't feel like a victory given Teal'c's situation.

'You'll get him back, Jack.' Jacob said reassuringly as though he had read Jack's thoughts. He smiled suddenly. 'And by the way, thanks for the ride.'

'About that, _Dad_,' Jack said dryly, 'I believe you owe us a mothership.' The hard-won ship had been lost during their mission. Jack had known it was a bad idea to loan it to the Tok'ra to help with their move although in all honesty, he knew the loss had more to do with their ambitious plan to blow up a sun and destroy Apophis's fleet going slightly awry.

Jacob simply smiled, refusing to rise to the bait. He shifted his attention to his daughter. 'You take care of yourself, kiddo.'

'I will, Dad.' Sam hugged him.

The wormhole blossomed and settled into its shimmering blue puddle.

Jacob pulled away from Sam and smiled at her regretfully. His dark eyes darted to Jack again. _Look after her._ The words were as clear as though they had been spoken.

Jack nodded, a muscle tensing in his jaw.

'Good luck with Teal'c.' Jacob said to them both. He walked up the ramp and disappeared into the blue.

Sam sighed as the wormhole disappeared.

Jack nudged her. 'Let's go and see Teal'c.'

'Yes, sir.' Sam fell into step beside him as they headed for the elevator. 'Do you think Bra'tac will be able to help Teal'c, sir?'

'I don't know, Carter.' Jack admitted as he punched the call button. 'I know one thing.'

Sam looked at him inquisitively.

'We're not giving up on him.' Jack said determinedly.

Sam nodded. 'Yes, sir.'

Her heartfelt agreement settled him and he stepped briskly into the elevator to cover his feelings. She was out of bounds, Jack reminded himself; he was moving on. He scented her hair as she brushed past him to push the button for the infirmary and he wondered when he would be able to convince himself of that. He shook himself.

Teal'c.

He was what was important; Jack had to focus on that.

o-O-o

The soft sounds of the human moving around him filled Teal'c's ears along with the steady beeping of the heart monitor. He had regained consciousness minutes before but he had kept still, his eyes closed. A part of him was angry at the way he had failed to kill Daniel Jackson; a part of him was angry at O'Neill for stopping him. He set his anger aside and focused on the present.

He was in the infirmary which meant he was back at the SGC. He could feel the chafe of restraints around his wrists and ankles. No doubt they had posted a guard. He was not overly worried. He was a Jaffa and the restraints had been constructed for humans. At the right time he could break out of them, kill the guard and make his escape. He knew the SGC; knew the humans' likely responses; it would be easy.

'Any change?' Janet Fraiser's voice heralded her arrival. Teal'c could picture her warm concern in his mind's eye.

'None.' The nurse responded.

'Uh, Doctor Fraiser?' Daniel Jackson's quiet prompt almost startled Teal'c into movement.

There was whispering; Teal'c could not make out the words.

A second later, footsteps approached the bed.

'We know you're awake, Teal'c.' Daniel said calmly. 'You can stop pretending.'

Teal'c's eyes snapped open and glared at the archaeologist. 'Next time,' he threatened, 'I will kill you.'

The barb struck home; Daniel was incapable of hiding the flinch. The archaeologist wrapped his arms around his torso. 'You're not yourself right now.'

'I am myself, Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c said forcefully. 'I am the First Prime of my God, and you will pay for your crimes against Apophis.'

'OK.' Daniel said slowly. He looked at Janet beside him.

'Teal'c,' the doctor began gently, 'I want you to consider the possibility that you are brainwashed.'

'I am not.' Teal'c growled. 'And you will not speak to me, woman.'

Janet's eyebrows rose. 'Teal'c, do you remember waking after the sarcophagus?'

Her words evoked a memory; the grinding slide of the sarcophagus lid filling his ears, the bright light and Apophis, his God in the centre looking down on him, welcoming him home – washing away his confused uncertainty and filling him with purpose.

'There was nishta in the sarcophagus, Teal'c.' Daniel added.

Teal'c shook his head.

'Well, let's say there was.' Daniel continued. 'What would that have done to you?'

Nishta in the sarcophagus was a form of brainwashing, Teal'c knew that. He had seen Apophis employ such techniques on his human slaves. When they awoke they were as helpless and confused as children, open and willing to hear Apophis's words, to hear the truth. He had been confused on waking in the sarcophagus. Teal'c frowned. Was it possible that Apophis had used the technique on him?

No.

There had been no need. Teal'c had always been in the service of Apophis; why would his God need to guarantee his allegiance that way? No, his confusion was merely his own startled gratitude at Apophis granting him life.

'Teal'c,' Janet stepped back into his direct eye line, 'if someone had been brainwashed in this way, how would you reverse it?'

Teal'c pressed his lips together and remained silent.

'Are you silent because you don't know or because you don't want to tell us?' Daniel asked dryly.

'How's it going?' O'Neill entered the room along with Samantha Carter, and Teal'c refused to acknowledge them, turning his face to the wall.

'Perhaps we should talk outside.' Janet suggested.

Teal'c heard them leave. He tested the restraints. They were fastened loosely; it would only take one sharp tug. He glanced around the room. He was alone. He could hear the murmur of voices outside. They would be surprised; he would have the advantage.

He moved; tearing the restraints aside and ripping the monitoring cords from his skin. He shoved the bed clothes away and jumped lightly out of the bed. He ran; he barrelled out of the room, knocking his former team and the guard to the floor like bowling pins with a few well placed blows.

He knew a moment's hesitation as the temptation to stop and finish them filled him but he didn't wait; he ran.

Sirens filled the silence; noisy and blaring.

His bare feet hit the cold concrete steadily. He rendered the approaching SF unconscious without hesitation before taking the door to the stairwell. He needed to get to the armoury; needed to arm himself so he could kill more efficiently. He continued moving at a strong pace; another SF was quickly handled. He rounded the corner…

Teal'c's eyes widened at the sight of Samantha Carter stood firm; zat in hand.

The blue energy sizzled outward and despite his attempt to evade, it hit Teal'c full force.

Darkness beckoned.

o-O-o

'Ah!' Jack raised a hand to his head and groaned. 'What hit me?'

Sam almost smiled. 'Teal'c, sir.' The Colonel had taken the full force of Teal'c's first punch; it had sent him spiralling into the wall and knocked him out. Her CO had an impressive bruise on his forehead.

'Right.' Jack sighed heavily. His chocolate eyes ran over her. 'You seem fine.'

'Teal'c focused the efforts of his attack on you and Daniel.' Sam reported crisply. The Jaffa had simply swept her and Janet aside as though they were bugs. They'd gone sprawling but had been relatively uninjured.

'Daniel?' Jack asked, his face creasing in concern and then flinching at the movement.

'Sleeping.' Sam gestured at the neighbouring bed at the huddled form of their team-mate. 'Teal'c pushed his head into a wall.' She bit her lip. 'He was knocked out but Doctor Fraiser thinks he's going to be fine.'

'Ouch.' Jack winced. 'And Teal'c?'

'I figured he would head to the armoury, took the elevator and beat him there. I was able to knock him out with a zat.'

'Nice.'

'He's been moved to a security isolation room and has been heavily restrained.' Sam reported. 'The General's ordered a full security guard.'

'Good idea.' Jack rubbed his forehead. 'Oy.'

'Get some rest, sir.' Sam suggested gently.

Jack nodded. His eyes closed.

Sam looked around and pulled up a stool between the two beds occupied by her team-mates. She rubbed at the bruise on her elbow. It was sore but in comparison to the damage suffered by the others it was relatively minor.

Janet walked in; she was limping slightly. She had injured her knee when she had fallen. 'How are they?' She kept her voice low so she didn't disturb her patients.

'The Colonel woke up briefly.' Sam said quietly.

'Good.' Janet picked up his chart and made a notation. She replaced it and pocketed the pen. She looked at Sam. 'You should get some sleep.'

'I'm fine.' Sam said.

Janet looked at her sceptically.

'I'd like to stay here.' Sam admitted.

Janet waved at the empty bed on the opposite side of Jack. 'Help yourself.'

'How's Teal'c?' Sam asked. She felt a touch guilty about zatting him but she hadn't seen any other way of stopping him.

'Awake.' Janet said succinctly. 'Threatening to destroy the base.'

Sam looked down, disturbed.

'He might have succeeded before if you hadn't got to the armoury first.' Janet commented.

'I hate seeing him like this.' Sam replied.

Janet reached out and patted her arm. 'I know.' She sighed. 'I've talked to Doctor Mackenzie. He'll start work with Teal'c tomorrow.'

'Do you think he'll be able to help him?' Sam asked bluntly.

Janet shrugged uneasily. 'Honestly, I don't know, Sam.'

Sam nodded in understanding. The brainwashing technique of combining the nishta and the sarcophagus was so far out of their experience, it was impossible to determine whether their attempts to counteract it would be successful. She took a deep breath, trying to ease the fear gathering inside of her that Teal'c was lost to them. 'You should have seen Teal'c on the ship, Janet.' Her gaze drifted to the Colonel. 'It was like he was someone else, like he didn't know us at all.'

Janet nodded. 'It can't be easy seeing someone you care about act so differently towards you.'

Sam's head snapped back round to her friend and she frowned at the knowing look on Janet's face. 'We're talking about Teal'c, right?'

'Who else would be talking about?' Janet countered softly.

There was an awkward silence.

'Maybe Bra'tac can help Teal'c.' Sam said, determined to keep to the subject.

'Maybe.' Janet agreed with another sigh. 'But that will have to wait until Doctor Jackson and Colonel O'Neill are healed from Teal'c's attack.'

Sam pulled a face but she understood Janet's position.

Janet smiled at her sympathetically. 'Get some sleep, Sam.' She walked away.

The empty bed looked inviting and Sam walked around to it. She removed her boots and climbed on top of the covers. She closed her eyes.

'_It can't be easy seeing someone you care about act so differently towards you.'_

Janet's words echoed mockingly in Sam's head. She couldn't help thinking Janet had not been referring to Teal'c but the Colonel. She frowned and pushed her face further into the pillow as though to hide from her thoughts. It was true the Colonel was acting differently towards her, Sam mused tiredly. He had been acting differently ever since he'd had to fire on her when she had been possessed by an alien entity threatening the base. She knew he had believed for a time that his action had killed her. She hadn't needed to be told how devastated Jack must have been especially given their feelings for one another; she knew only too well after her experience with Martouf how she would have felt in his place.

Sam sighed. Neither she nor Jack had meant to fall in love with each other, and neither of them had ever meant for the other to know. Yet, it had happened and she couldn't deny that when she had realised just how much Jack did love her, she had felt special, cherished. But they had both agreed the mission came first; that they could handle their feelings in the field; that they would be friends until the day came when they could be more.

'_It got a little too close there for a while.' Jack said softly. His eyes held hers and begged her to understand. 'I hope we can put this behind us, Carter.' He continued quietly. 'Move on?'_

His words drifted into her mind. The experience with the entity had shaken the Colonel; showed him how dangerous even just feeling feelings were given their working relationship and military ranks. He had decided to withdraw and Sam couldn't honestly blame him. It was only too likely that one of them would need to hold a gun on the other again some day – just as she'd had to fire on Teal'c earlier. If he hadn't gone down with the first zat, if she'd had to kill him…

As much as she hated to admit it, the Colonel was right. They needed to get some distance from each other, move on from their feelings. They'd gotten too close and despite the fact that it hurt to think about it, it was the right thing to do.

He acted differently around her already; their flirting and closeness had been discarded for a friendly professionalism. He was treating her as though she was nothing more than a team-mate – someone he cared about certainly but not someone he loved.

Suck it up, Sam, she thought wearily. Apparently, the Colonel having made the decision had been able to move on straight away; she needed to catch up and do the same. It was for the best and besides; her focus needed to be on Teal'c, on getting him back to normal. It was her final thought as she slid into sleep unaware of the chocolate eyes that watched her from the next bed.

o-O-o

Daniel took a moment to get his bearings as he clambered out of the tent and stretched, easing the kinks out of his body with a small groan. He put his glasses on and the world came into focus along with the smell of coffee. It was barely light. He checked his surroundings; Sam was by the campfire in charge of breakfast; Jack was nowhere in sight. Probably doing a perimeter check, Daniel assumed. He headed out of camp briefly and made his way back via the stream; washing up and taking the opportunity to refill his water canister. Ten minutes had passed before he returned to camp.

Jack was back; sat beside Sam and using a spoon to scoop up the rehydrated eggs in the metal tin. Daniel accepted a similar portion and a small metal mug of coffee as he took his own place beside the military man.

'We'll pack up as soon as you're done and keep heading North.' Jack informed him.

Daniel nodded, unable to verbally reply as his mouth was filled with eggs. He swallowed hurriedly. 'How much further?'

'We've got another few days of walking if Rak'nor's map is accurate.' Sam replied.

'If.' Jack qualified gruffly.

'He has no reason to lie to us.' Daniel pointed out with a hint of exasperation. He forced himself to finish his meal swiftly, knowing Jack would be impatient to get moving. He couldn't blame him.

It had taken them almost four days to recover from the injuries Teal'c had inflicted in his escape attempt; four days before they had been able to head to the rebel Jaffa planet to find Bra'tac only to be informed by the Jaffa Rak'nor that Bra'tac had left days before for the settlement of Ancara on Chulak on a personal matter.

Rak'nor had drawn them a map, showing them the way from the Stargate to the settlement and providing them with advice on the trip which he had warned them would be long and arduous – eleven days of walking through forest and along treacherous mountain pathways. They'd had to return to the SGC and organise provisions for the trip, wasting another day in Jack's opinion. Six days on, Rak'nor's information had been accurate and helpful even if Jack continued to distrust it.

Daniel grimaced at the ache in his legs. He was in good shape – they all were but he was feeling the strain of the long walk in his thighs and calves. He was just pleased his boots were comfortable because the thought of walking with blisters was simply unthinkable. He finished with his food and coffee; he handed the tin and mug back to Sam and went to pack up the tent.

Fifteen minutes later, they headed out. Jack took point; Sam guarded the rear with Daniel in the middle. He kept a watchful eye on the surrounding forest but he could admit to himself that it was much more likely that either Jack or Sam would spot a threat before he did.

Maybe he should have stayed behind and helped with Teal'c, Daniel mused worriedly. The Jaffa was undergoing psychological therapy with Mackenzie and Daniel couldn't help but think that it wasn't going well.

Teal'c had still been wedded firmly to his belief that Apophis was God before they had left for Chulak. Daniel was also suspicious that Mackenzie believed separating Teal'c from his team-mates was a good thing. He couldn't see how they were supposed to bring Teal'c back to his senses by isolating him from his friends. Still, there was another part of him that was relieved to be out of the firing line. Teal'c's continual threats and visible hatred towards them was hard to take.

Daniel glanced behind him at Sam. They exchanged empathetic smiles before Daniel returned his attention to the front. He knew Sam was having as hard a time dealing with Teal'c's behaviour as he was. No matter how many times they dismissed the comments and the attitude as being caused by the brainwashing, it hurt and more, they couldn't help but think that perhaps some part of Teal'c believed the insults he levelled at them; that they were weak and pathetic; that they were nothing – bugs to be squashed.

Jack seemed able to shrug the insults away like a duck shaking water of its back but Daniel couldn't. His mind slipped back to the last time he had spoken with Teal'c…

_The Jaffa was restrained to the bed with heavy straps. His dark eyes glared at Daniel._

'_Just thought I would stop by; see how you're doing.' Daniel said, trying to keep his tone light-hearted._

'_Your compassion disgusts me.' Teal'c snarled._

'_OK.' Daniel rocked back on his heels. 'So, still brainwashed then.'_

'_You are of no importance to me.' Teal'c's head fell back on the pillow. _

_Daniel took a deep breath. 'I'm sorry you feel that way, Teal'c, because you're important to me. You're my friend.'_

'_I am not.' Teal'c denied it bluntly. 'I kidnapped your wife; I had her implanted with Ammonet and I killed her when she fulfilled her purpose in delivering the Harcesis child.'_

'_That's quite a revision of history, Teal'c.' Daniel said mildly._

'_You failed to prevent her fate, Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c pointed out. 'You know the truth. You are useless; pathetic.' He rose suddenly, straining against his leather bounds. 'You are nothing and soon you will be dead.'_

And it was partially the truth, Daniel thought sadly. He had failed to prevent what had happened to Sha're, and there were times he really did wonder whether he made a difference – whether the team needed him. They had taken down Cronus without him; secured a mothership without him; and he'd spent most of their mission to Vorash feeling like he was surplus to requirements. A bit like he felt right at that moment as they trudged through the forest and it was clear that a soldier was needed not an archaeologist.

Jack was setting a hard pace and Daniel could feel the burn in his lungs as he forced himself to match it. He knew Jack was driven by guilt. The military man held himself accountable for what had happened to Teal'c; for not spotting the ambush; for not preventing Tanith from taking Teal'c. Of course, if Tanith hadn't taken Teal'c, Apophis would not have revived the Jaffa in the sarcophagus and they would have lost him for good. Daniel firmly believed it was better that Teal'c was alive and brainwashed than dead.

Besides, Daniel thought, breathing hard, if anyone was to blame for what had happened it was Teal'c. The Jaffa had been consumed by his need for revenge; consumed by his need to kill Tanith and avenge his lover Sho'nac's death. From all accounts, it had been Teal'c's clouded emotions that had led to him and Jack crashing the glider on Vorash enabling Tanith to get the drop on them in the first place. Daniel could sympathise with Teal'c's emotions – he couldn't deny being satisfied that Apophis was finally dead but still the Jaffa revenge thing seemed extreme, and he knew it had annoyed Jack even if the military man would never admit it out loud. Daniel only hoped they weren't interrupting Bra'tac on some similar quest because otherwise they were in trouble.

o-O-o

Bra'tac brushed the headstone with his fingertips before he rose and wrapped his cloak around him, unable to ignore the chill in the mountain air or the ache in his old bones. His symbiote was no longer able to heal all his maladies, and it was likely that when it matured, another symbiote would not accept him. Bra'tac knew his own death crept closer with each passing year. Still, _her_ death had come as a shock to him.

Alia.

His head bowed in grief. His wife.

A picture of a beautiful woman with sparkling brown eyes and a warm, vivacious smile filled his mind. It had been a long time since he had allowed himself to think of her. So many years had passed since their estrangement…

_Apophis was in a foul temper. The day before Apophis had lost a critical battle against Ra and retreated back to Chulak. Bra'tac had yet to leave the palace and see his wife; Apophis had not dismissed any of the Jaffa for leave._

_Two Jaffa had already died at the God's hands that day for no other reason it seemed than to satisfy Apophis's temper. It was not a good day to displease Apophis. The envoy from Doma, the settlement where Bra'tac had been raised, bowed deeply but Bra'tac could see the sheen of nervous sweat on the Jaffa's skin and the way his fingers trembled around the staff weapon as the delegation presented their annual tribute. He knew Ka'lac; had grown up with him._

_Apophis sneered. 'You dare to bring this before your God.'_

'_Forgive us, my Lord.' Ka'lac bowed deeply. 'The harvest was bad this year…'_

'_Do not lie to your God!' Apophis kicked over the chest and with a blast of power from the hand device tossed the envoy across the room; he lay dead._

_Bra'tac gestured for one of the servants to clear up the mess as Apophis stalked to his throne. He felt a moment's grief for Ka'lac but he knew there was nothing that anyone could have done to prevent it. He resolved to ensure Ka'lac's wife and children were provided for; it was the only thing he could do._

'_Bra'tac.' Apophis called him forward._

_Bra'tac knelt swiftly in front of him. 'My Lord?'_

'_Take a glider wing and destroy Doma.' Apophis ordered smoothly, his fingers tapping on the arm of the throne absently. 'They should learn not to anger their God in future.'_

_His breath caught harshly in his throat; he knew there were many innocent women and children in Doma. 'My Lord, perhaps there is another way.'_

'_Do you question your God, Bra'tac?'_

'_No, my Lord, but…' Bra'tac swallowed hard, unable to marshal an argument._

'_They will die at the will of their God, Bra'tac.' Apophis glared at him._

_Bra'tac bowed his head. 'Yes, my Lord.' He strode out of the throne room wondering what he could do. There was nothing, Bra'tac determined harshly. Apophis could not be reasoned with and if Bra'tac defied him, he would end up dead and of no use to his own wife, Alia, and their young daughter, Jyo. He gathered a couple of Jaffa and headed for the glider bay; the most he could do was to try and limit how much destruction Doma suffered._

_The mission was done swiftly; brutally. Fire rained down on Doma; destroyed house after house. Bra'tac could not help the grief and guilt that flowed through his veins as he watched the settlement burn. He knew some would die but he hoped they had avoided as many places as possible that were likely to be occupied._

_It was almost a month before Apophis released the Jaffa from service and Bra'tac returned to his home. The house was filled with people and Bra'tac was uneasy as Jaffa after Jaffa looked at him sorrowfully as he entered._

'_What has occurred?' Bra'tac demanded, finding his wife's brother waiting for him._

'_Gliders destroyed Doma.'_

'_I am aware.' Bra'tac sighed sadly. 'Apophis could not be swayed to spare the settlement.'_

'_Many were killed.' Mel'tac said softly._

_Bra'tac felt the blow of guilt and bowed his head. 'I am sorry, Mel'tac.'_

'_There is more.' Mel'tac placed his hand on Bra'tac's shoulder. 'Your old nemesis Gyn'c believed you would have led the assault as the First Prime, Bra'tac. He lost his son in the fires and came on a mission of vengeance.'_

_The words froze the blood in Bra'tac's veins._

_Mel'tac did not look at him. 'Alia is...she is dishonoured. He killed Jyo.'_

'_Where is he?' Bra'tac demanded._

'_Alia killed him with his own knife.' Mel'tac informed him._

_Bra'tac glared at him. 'Alia?'_

'_Upstairs with Jyo.'_

_Bra'tac took the stairs at a run. He hurried into Jyo's bedroom and stopped. Alia sat on the floor, her hand clasping Jyo's. The body of their child was already prepared for burial; wrapped in white bandages. His wife did not move with his entry and Bra'tac wondered if she even knew he was present. He moved forward. He placed a hand on Jyo's head and kissed her forehead as he had done many times when he had said goodnight to her._

'_I only have one question, my husband.' Alia said, deathly calm._

_Bra'tac met her tear-stained eyes. 'I led the assault; Apophis ordered it.'_

'_Apophis.' Alia said bitterly. 'Where was your God when Gyn'c took our child's life, Bra'tac? Where was he then?'_

_Bra'tac had no reply._

'_I am dishonoured.' Alia informed him defiantly. 'Our marriage can be dissolved.'_

'_I do not wish it to be dissolved.' Bra'tac said softly. He knew her dishonour was not her doing; that she would have fought with every breath._

'_I do.'_

_Bra'tac looked at her angry face and knew she blamed him for their daughter's death; that nothing he would ever say or do would erase that. 'Very well.'_

'_I will bury my child.' Alia said forcefully. 'And after that I never want to see you again.'_

And so she never had. Alia had returned with her brother to Ancara. Bra'tac had continued as First Prime to Apophis. He had never remarried. His heart had in many ways remained with Alia but more he would never risk another woman or another child with the burden of his position. He had warned Teal'c when he became First Prime. To have loved ones placed them at risk. Teal'c had learned the lesson when his mother had been slain, and again, when Apophis had brainwashed his son.

'I am sorry you were unable to say goodbye.'

He stiffened at the unexpected interruption but outwardly refused to turn around and acknowledge the man who had brought him back to Ancara after so many years. 'Are you, Mel'tac?' Bra'tac asked quietly.

'She asked for you.' Mel'tac drew up beside him. 'I would not have denied her the last request she made of me.'

Bra'tac accepted Mel'tac's words with a slight inclination of his head. Mel'tac had idolised his sister and Bra'tac could not conceive of him denying Alia anything.

'She has talked often of you these last years.' Mel'tac continued. 'We have heard the stories of you and your apprentice, Teal'c. Of your rebellion against Apophis and the Goa'uld. I believe she was proud that you had finally taken action.'

'Why do you speak of this to me?' Bra'tac asked wearily.

'Because you should know she had forgiven you.' Mel'tac said quietly.

Bra'tac did not respond; perhaps Alia had forgiven him but he could never forgive himself.

Mel'tac shifted his weight and noisily cleared his throat. 'The scouts have reported seeing the Tau'ri on the path to Ancara.'

That got Bra'tac's attention. 'How many?'

'Three; two men and a woman.' Mel'tac tilted his head. 'Teal'c does not accompany them.'

Bra'tac pursed his lips. 'I will leave immediately and meet them on the way.'

Mel'tac nodded. 'As I thought you would.'

It took moments for Bra'tac to gather his travelling sack and head back down the mountain. It was not good news if the Tau'ri had travelled so far to find him and if Teal'c was not with them. He could only hope that they did not travel to tell him of Teal'c's death. He was not certain his old heart would take another blow so soon after Alia's passing.

It was a few days before he reached the humans.

'Bra'tac.' O'Neill reached forward and clasped Bra'tac's outstretched arm. 'Teal'c needs you.'

'I had gathered as much.' Bra'tac said simply. 'You can tell me why on the way.'

They turned around and started back in the opposite direction. It was Daniel Jackson who told Bra'tac the events that had led to their seeking his help. Bra'tac frowned at the news of Teal'c's brainwashing.

'That isn't a happy face.' O'Neill commented.

'It is not.' Bra'tac admitted. 'The technique is very powerful and not easily overcome.'

'But it can be overcome?' Daniel asked urgently.

'Perhaps.' Bra'tac said. He did not believe it was a good idea to share his plan with the humans. The only way he knew of defeating the nishta in such cases was to remove the symbiote from the Jaffa, to perform the ancient rite of mal'shuraan. It would take Teal'c to the very brink of death. He sighed heavily, feeling every one of his years. 'We shall see.'

o-O-o

Teal'c smiled widely at the doctor sat beside him. It had been relatively easy to hoodwink the man. Mackenzie had such arrogance about his techniques and his methods that he had never considered failure.

And Teal'c had been careful; he had gradually pretended to come to the realisations the doctor had laid before him; that the Goa'uld were False Gods, parasites.

He told himself they were necessary lies – like the ones he had spoken during his previous time with the Tau'ri – lies that would get him released from his prison and able to return to the side of his God once more.

After he had destroyed the Tau'ri once and for all.

o-O-o

The journey back had been tiring. Jack knew they'd all pushed themselves so they could return without delay. They were all weary when they stepped through the Stargate and into the grey confines of the SGC.

'Hammond of Texas.' Bra'tac greeted the SGC leader with respect.

'Master Bra'tac.' Hammond bowed his head. 'It's good to see you again.' He gave a small grimace. 'I wish it were under better circumstances.'

'As do I.' Bra'tac replied. 'Where is Teal'c?'

'He's in a detention cell.' Hammond explained. 'But actually we may not need your services after all.'

Jack raised an eyebrow in an unconscious mimic of Teal'c. 'Oh?'

'Doctor Mackenzie believes Teal'c has managed to overcome the brainwashing.' Hammond informed them.

'Is that possible?' Sam asked the question which had hovered on Jack's lips. They all looked to Bra'tac.

'Teal'c is a strong warrior.' Bra'tac admitted uncertainly. 'It may be that he has found the strength alone.'

'Or not.' O'Neill remarked seeing the hint of disbelief in the old warrior's eyes.

'There is one way to find out.' Daniel suggested. He gestured at Bra'tac. 'Can you tell if Teal'c is telling the truth?'

Bra'tac inclined his head in agreement.

'Are we sure that's necessary?' Hammond asked.

'I have never seen anyone able to resist such brainwashing.' Bra'tac admitted, giving voice to his fears. 'I think it is more likely that Teal'c is telling your doctor what he wishes to hear, hmmm?'

'Wouldn't be the first time.' Jack muttered under his breath.

'If he has not yet found the strength to overcome Apophis's lies, it will be difficult to help him.' Bra'tac continued.

'Whatever you need.' Hammond promised.

Bra'tac acknowledged the other man's promise with a sharp nod. 'If it is possible I would appreciate sending a brief message to the rebel Jaffa camp.'

'Of course.' Hammond acquiesced. He turned to Jack and the rest of SG1. 'Why don't you all get cleaned up while I get things set up with Doctor Mackenzie?'

Jack acknowledged Hammond's implicit order as they headed for the lockers. He had a horrible feeling Bra'tac was Teal'c's last hope.


	2. Fundamental Beliefs

**Author's Note: **Team/Teal'c friendship. Sam/Janet friendship. Daniel/Janet friendship.

**Threshold Recap:** _Bra'tac determines that Teal'c's claims to Mackenzie of being cured are lies. He removes Teal'c's symbiote and tells the team that Teal'c must undergo the rite of mal'shuraan – the last rite. It will take Teal'c to the edge of death but in doing so the Jaffa will relive his previous life – the true life underneath the lies that Apophis has told him - and Teal'c will regain himself. The rite is dangerous though and Bra'tac acknowledges it may lead to Teal'c's death. Hammond allows the procedure despite Janet's objections. _

_Bra'tac begins the process with Teal'c who has a flashback to when he was a guard and Apophis punished him. But Bra'tac is tired from his long journey and encourages the others to stay with him while he kel no reems, telling them to challenge Teal'c. Daniel and Jack take the first shift and Teal'c flashes back to a time when he saved his friend Val'ar from Apophis's wrath and how Apophis fell for Teal'c's trick – the first seeds of doubt. He later has another flashback to training with Bra'tac and the older Jaffa telling him that the Goa'uld were not Gods, and about arguing with his wife, Drey'auc about it._

_Sam rejoins them and she reassures Janet that they are doing the right thing; Janet says that she will resign if Teal'c dies. Teal'c pleads for his life with Sam but Sam tells him that Teal'c believes in freedom and protecting others. Teal'c experiences more flashbacks. As Jack joins Hammond in the observation room, the General notes that if the rite fails, Teal'c will be incarcerated until the symbiote matures. Hammond tells Jack he cannot put Teal'c through that._

_As Teal'c reaches the end of the rite, his first meeting with Jack, Sam and Daniel replays in his head. Bra'tac pleads with Teal'c to choose but Teal'c is lost in the past. Bra'tac allows Janet to replace the symbiote but as the others wait anxiously to see if they are too late, Teal'c remembers his decision to help them escape; to choose freedom. He comes back to them suddenly with those words; 'I choose freedom.' _

_Bra'tac assesses his sincerity and is convinced. Teal'c confirms it by stating that Apophis is dead False God. He pledges his loyalty again and SG1 welcome him home. _

**Fundamental Beliefs**

Janet Fraiser closed the door on the isolation room, gave a nod of acknowledgement to the guards on duty and walked away quickly. She had shooed General Hammond and the other members of SG1 from the room after the end of the Jaffa rite that had saved Teal'c's life and his very sense of self. She would have asked Bra'tac, his mentor, to leave him to rest too but her Jaffa patient was doing well and it was evident that the two wanted to talk.

She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her white medical coat as she walked hurriedly to her office, her heels clicking sharply on the linoleum. She entered the small room and shut the door behind her. She leaned on it heavily and closed her sore eyes, her head falling back to rest against the door. She was so tired. She needed sleep. She needed to go home and hug her daughter…not that Cassie liked being hugged anymore. The little girl she had adopted had turned into a typical teenager so fast that Janet wondered how it had happened. They were more likely to argue than hug most days. She sighed and pushed away from the door.

She checked her watch. Doctor Brightman would start her shift in another hour. She could hang on that long before she headed home. Janet pushed off the door and took a step across the floor to the coffee-pot. It was empty. She grimaced, unable to think about making the effort to refill it. She slumped into her office chair and stared at the computer unseeingly. She should write up her report on Teal'c's treatment, Janet mused. He would need to be monitored for another twenty-four hours to ensure there were no adverse effects for either him or the Goa'uld symbiote he carried. She shook away her lethargy and reached for her keyboard.

The sharp knock on her door made her start and she grimaced heavily as she called for the person to enter.

Samantha Carter poked her head around the corner of the door. 'Hey. Do you have a minute?'

Janet waved her in, absently noting how pale Sam was looking as she entered and closed the door. The blonde Air Force officer looked as exhausted as Janet felt. She made a mental note to check Sam's iron levels the next time she took a blood test. It looked like a mild case of anaemia.

'I just spoke with my Dad to update him,' Sam began, 'and he was wondering if it would be possible for the Tok'ra to get a copy of the medical data collated while Teal'c was going through the rite for scientific purposes.'

Janet frowned at Sam. 'Why?'

'They think it may be useful information in how the Goa'uld symbiote helps to keep the Jaffa alive.' Sam explained as she perched on Janet's desk. 'Selmak thinks if they understood more about why the Jaffa physiology is so dependent on the Goa'uld, how it reacts when the symbiote is absent, they may be able to find a way for the Jaffa to live without the Goa'uld.'

Janet raised a sceptical eyebrow; she wasn't so certain the Tok'ra's motives were all that selfless.

Sam caught the look in her eye. 'I know it sounds convenient and if it was anyone other than my Dad…'

'I get it, Sam.' Janet assured her, leaning back in her chair and wondering if she had any aspirin in her desk drawer. 'I guess I'm just not comfortable sharing this data without Teal'c's permission.'

'So, if I get Teal'c's permission then…?' Sam grabbed onto the small ray of hope that Janet had offered.

'If you get his explicit consent that he's happy for me to share his medical records then I will.' Janet confirmed, realising that she had left little room to manoeuvre.

Sam nodded quickly. 'Thanks, Janet.' She gave a small grimace and rubbed the back of her neck as though trying to ease some tension. 'I'm hoping that if we share something with them it will mean they might actually give us the za'tarc information I keep asking for.'

'They're still stonewalling you on that?' Janet asked sympathetically. The whole za'tarc incident had been tough for Sam. Initially they had thought Sam might be a za'tarc – a brainwashed Goa'uld assassin – but her test had failed only because of her unspoken feelings for Colonel O'Neill. Janet had witnessed Sam's confession and the Colonel's. They both loved each other deeply but Janet knew the mission came first for both of them especially since the Colonel had almost had to kill Sam to save the base.

There had been a definite shift in their interaction since that incident. Colonel O'Neill had definitely retreated into a more professional mode and Sam seemed to be following his lead. Janet figured Sam knew why the Colonel had retreated given that the day of the za'tarc confessions had ended with Sam having to kill Martouf, the soul mate of the Tok'ra symbiote Sam had carried unwillingly for a time.

As her mind moved from past events and back to the present, Janet realised with some chagrin that Sam was talking.

'…even my Dad gets evasive.' Sam concluded passionately. 'It's so frustrating.'

Janet nodded sympathetically and was grateful when Sam didn't seem to expect any other kind of answer.

'You know if Teal'c gives his permission I wouldn't mind taking a look at the data.' Sam shifted subject with a swiftness that surprised Janet.

'Why?' Janet asked taken aback.

'Well, you know when we were talking about Teal'c's treatment when we first brought him back?' Sam said excitedly. 'My Dad was hypothesising that the Goa'uld was keeping the drug in Teal'c's bloodstream rather than neutralising it.'

'So you think that taking the symbiote out enabled Teal'c's blood chemistry to correct itself?' Janet summarised. 'That's quite a leap.'

'But it makes sense.' Sam argued, waving her hand at Janet. 'Think about it, Janet. Without the symbiote to maintain the high levels of nishta, Teal'c's own body was probably able to, I don't know, sweat it out? It probably brought the levels back down to where Teal'c was able to listen to reason again.'

Janet allowed the point grudgingly. 'So you're saying that the right treatment all along was the removal of the symbiote.'

'Maybe.' Sam tilted her head. 'I mean, it may well be the scientific reason why the rite is the only way to beat this type of brainwashing for a Jaffa.'

'I don't know, Sam.' Janet shook her head and raised a hand before Sam could argue further. 'And I'm too tired to make sense of anything right now.' She gave an apologetic smile. 'I just want to write up my notes and head home.'

Sam nodded understandingly and hopped off the desk. 'I'll leave you to it.' She suddenly yawned and hastily raised a hand to her mouth. 'Sorry.'

Janet looked at her with concern. 'You should get some rest.'

'I will.' Sam said. 'I just have to…'

'Sleep.' Janet stated firmly. Her dark eyes held Sam's and she ignored the irritated look Sam shot her. 'Sam, you've been marching for days to find Bra'tac and bring him here. You've been eating rations which are not a balanced diet no matter how much we like to pretend they are and I'm guessing you haven't rested since you got back. You need to sleep.'

Sam blushed – evidently Janet had been correct in her analysis. Sam nodded reluctantly. Her gaze suddenly seemed to sharpen on Janet's. 'What about you? Are you OK?'

Janet flushed. She had made no effort before to hide her unhappiness at the approach they had taken with Teal'c. 'I'm fine. Just tired. Like I said, I'm going to write up these notes and head home.'

'OK.' Sam made for the door. 'Oh, say hi to Cassie for me.'

'Will do.' Janet agreed while wondering if her daughter would still be awake to say hello to when she arrived home. 'Are you coming over tomorrow?' It was a Saturday and if Sam was on Earth she usually tried to visit with Cassie for a game of chess.

'Sure. Tell her I'll be there at lunchtime like always.' Sam raised a hand in farewell and left the office.

Janet turned back to her computer and focused. Her notes would be vital for Teal'c's ongoing treatment. If he had an episode while she was off duty, she knew they could make the difference between Teal'c living and dying. She accurately recorded her observations; the removal of the symbiote, Teal'c's initial reactions, his body's decline while mentally he became less aware of his surroundings until the end and the symbiote's return and with it Teal'c's own return from the brink of death…seemingly recovered from his brainwashing.

Janet's hand hovered a moment before she added her recommendation that the medical staff continue to treat Teal'c with extreme caution until the General determined the guards were no longer required. Teal'c seemed recovered, and everyone including Janet couldn't help but respond to the conviction in his voice when he had come back to them, but it was probably good to remain alert. She finished the report just in time for her handover to Doctor Brightman.

Another thirty minutes of updating and handover on all the patients – not just Teal'c – and Janet headed for the lockers. A shower revived her and she dressed in her civilian clothes of khaki pants, a light green sweater and cream coat hurriedly. Five minutes later she was in the elevator. She signed out impatiently and walked at a hurried pace to her car. She slowed as she approached the vehicle as her eyes fell to the flat tyre on the driver side.

'No!' Janet felt the sting of frustrated tears and blinked them away. 'Damn, damn, damn.' She muttered under her breath as she crouched by the vehicle. She grimaced and plucked out the rusty nail from the deflated rubber. She wrapped a fist around it and closed her eyes for a moment.

She just wanted to go home. Was that too much to ask? She opened her eyes and got to her feet. She should head back into the base. She could request a driver to take her home…

'Hey!' Daniel Jackson's voice interrupted the thought and she turned to see the archaeologist striding toward her, concern creasing his face into furrows. 'Flat?' He asked, gesturing at her car.

'Yeah.' Janet rubbed her nose as she stood up and readjusted the strap of her purse. It was already cold and she could feel the wind biting through her clothes. She saw Daniel huddle further into his jacket. She showed him the nail. 'I was just about to head in and get a driver to take me home.'

'If you, uh, if you need a ride, I can take you.' Daniel offered, motioning behind him at his own car.

He smiled at her encouragingly and Janet found herself nodding in agreement. 'Thank you, Daniel.' She said gratefully. 'I really appreciate it.' She took a moment to discard the nail before they turned and headed to his vehicle.

He unlocked the passenger door and opened it for Janet before climbing into the drivers' seat. He started the car and adjusted the heat settings. He shot Janet an apologetic grimace. 'It takes a while to warm up.'

'You should get Sam to take a look at it.' Janet suggested. It was one advantage of having a mechanical genius for a friend; Sam had tuned up her old car until it purred.

Daniel smiled. He pulled out of the parking lot. They showed their ids at the gate and Janet pushed the thought of how their leaving together might look to the back of her mind. She rested her head against the cushion and let the warm air, the growl of the vehicle's engine and the motion of the car relax her.

'Tough day, huh?' Daniel said as they pulled out onto the main road.

'You could say that.' Janet gave a heartfelt sigh. She glanced over at him. His blue eyes were pinned to the road; his hands steady on the steering wheel.

'I know it wasn't easy for you,' Daniel murmured, 'agreeing to the rite.'

'I'm just glad it worked out.' Janet said evenly. Her eyes moved forward and stared at the road ahead, the stretch of grey disappearing into the horizon.

'Sorry.' Daniel's quiet apology made her turn her head. He gave a small smile before his gaze returned to the road. 'You probably don't want to talk about it.'

'Not really.' Janet agreed. Her conscience prodded her. He was just trying to be friendly and supportive – and he was giving her a ride home. She sighed and fingered the leather strap of her purse absently. 'Like I said, I'm just glad it worked out.'

'I understand.' Daniel commented. 'I mean, it is a radical procedure.'

'Sam thinks the symbiote had to be removed for Teal'c's body to get rid of the worst of the nishta.' Janet nudged the topic onto safer ground.

Daniel nodded. 'I guess I can see that.' He threw another questioning glance in her direction. 'If you'd known that before would you have objected so strongly?'

'Maybe not.' Janet allowed. She considered the idea and sighed. If she had been presented with scientific evidence for the treatment, would she have objected? 'Probably not.'

'You know I've found that the healing rites of many cultures usually have some scientific foundation when you investigate more.' Daniel said. He looked over at her. 'Sometimes they even have a better understanding than we do of how to cure something even though they don't know why.'

Janet bristled at the implied criticism. 'I'm aware that Western medicine isn't all encompassing, Daniel. There are several alternative therapies that I recommend.'

'Oh, I know that.' Daniel hurried out. 'I was just…' he sighed at her hard look, 'I guess I was trying to make the point that obviously Bra'tac knew what he was doing even if he doesn't know the science of why the rite works.'

'And that I should have trusted him more.' Janet's voice was edged with anger.

'They are both Jaffa.' Daniel glanced at her again as they pulled up at a set of traffic lights. He grimaced at her stony expression. 'Look, I'm not criticising you, Janet, I'm just…'

'Criticising me.' Janet finished snappily. 'I'm sorry, Daniel, if my desire not to kill the patient with the treatment means I'm not as open to other cultures and their medicines as you seem to think I should be.'

There was a tense silence as she glared at him.

He looked away first, a hint of colour blooming in his pale cheeks. 'I'm the one who's sorry.' He glanced back at her. 'I didn't offer you a ride to give you a lecture, I swear.'

Janet relaxed marginally under his sincere contrition and nodded jerkily. 'Let's forget it.' She motioned at the road. 'The light's green.'

'Oh. Right.' Daniel pulled away briskly.

There was an uncomfortable silence and Janet tried to ignore the small voice in her head that was reminding her that Daniel hadn't been completely at fault. She sighed.

'I'm sorry too.' Janet said the words quickly, almost running them together. She pressed into the car seat as though it would swallow her up and hide her. 'I overreacted. It's just…' her voice trailed away as she tried to find the words to explain.

'Tough day.' Daniel completed for her.

She gave a small smile in acknowledgement of the way out he had offered her. She didn't owe him any explanations but his kind blue eyes encouraged her to open up. 'Tough day,' she agreed, 'and I guess I'm feeling sensitive about it.' She waved a hand at him. 'I was the only one who didn't want to do the rite.'

Daniel's face suddenly brightened with clarity. 'And you feel like we're all telling you I told you so?'

'Maybe.' Janet grimaced. 'A little.' She felt her guard drop further. 'And maybe because I'm wondering if you're not right; maybe I should have been more open to Bra'tac's suggestion. It's just…' she sighed again. 'The first rule of medicine is do no harm.'

'We all understood your position, Janet.' Daniel said quietly. 'It wasn't an easy decision for any of us.'

'I know.' Janet agreed.

'You wanted to keep him alive. That's not a bad thing.' Daniel responded compassionately.

'But what kind of life would it have been?' Janet asked the question that had been preying on her mind. 'You know most members of the SGC have DNRs for certain situations and most have no extraordinary measures for others. I can't help feeling that I was so caught up in trying to do the right thing that I almost did the wrong thing.'

'Janet, if the rite hadn't worked, would you have stopped trying to find a way to reverse the brainwashing?' Daniel asked.

'No, of course not.' Janet replied immediately.

'There you go.'

Daniel concentrated as he made a right turn and Janet took the moment to consider his words.

'You would never have left him as he was.' Daniel continued. 'You're too good a doctor.'

Janet flushed as Daniel smiled at her. 'Thank you.' She settled back in the seat and realised the tension in her shoulders had seeped away. Her conversation with Daniel had definitely helped her put some things in perspective, she mused ruefully. Her gaze drifted back to him. There were faint shadows under his eyes; tension lines bracketed his mouth. Something was bothering him and she figured she knew what it was. Maybe she could return the favour, Janet mused.

'So,' she cleared her throat, 'not that I'm immensely grateful for the ride but I'm surprised that you left the base.'

Daniel squirmed in his seat. 'Sam and Jack are both there and I think Bra'tac wanted some time with Teal'c.'

Janet nodded understandingly. 'I think it's good you're getting away from the base.'

'You do?' Daniel looked at her in surprise momentarily before he turned his attention back to the traffic.

'I do.' Janet said. 'Everyone needs some time to process what's happened.'

She left unspoken the specifics; that SG1 needed to reconcile Teal'c's behaviour towards them when he was brainwashed. She believed that was the reason why Daniel had wanted off base, to give himself some space. Daniel was a sensitive soul and it was likely that he was questioning whether there was any possibility that Teal'c's scornful words and his attempts to kill him had some basis in Teal'c's real feelings.

'It wasn't really him, was it? I mean, all his actions were down to the brainwashing.' Daniel asked, glancing across to her again.

She smiled reassuringly. 'He was no more himself during what he did, Daniel, than you were when you were suffering from the sarcophagus withdrawal.'

Janet saw her words strike home in the slight flare of Daniel's nostrils, the briefly stunned look in the blue eyes as he made the connection himself. She knew Daniel would start to heal any hurts from the past few weeks and more, he would reach out to help Teal'c do the same.

He gave a sudden wry smile and looked at her. 'Thanks.'

'Any time.' Janet responded with an answering smile.

Daniel pulled into her street and parked in front of her house. She reached for the door handle.

'Thank you for the ride and for the, uh, the talk.' Janet said softly.

'Any time.' Daniel said sincerely, parroting her own words back to her. 'You need a ride to the base tomorrow?'

Janet shook her head and tried to ignore the flicker of disappointment at her own refusal. 'Sam's coming over to play chess with Cassie so I'll catch a ride with her.'

Daniel nodded his head in understanding. 'I'll see you tomorrow.'

Janet got out of the car. She walked up to her front door and glanced back; Daniel remained, waiting to see her inside, she realised. She unlocked the door and pushed it open; she raised a hand in farewell before she stepped into the house. She heard the car pulling away outside. She would bet her salary he was headed back for the base. She smiled and shrugged her coat off.

'Doctor Fraiser.' The plump matronly figure of the live-in help Janet had hired to look after Cassie when she was at work appeared in the doorway to the den. Betsy was a former Air Force nurse and Hammond had arranged for her clearance given Cassie's alien status.

'Hi Betsy. Cassie asleep?' Janet asked hanging up her coat and stowing her purse.

'She's at a party.' Betsy frowned at Janet's surprise. 'She said she called you and you gave her permission.'

Janet felt the muscles in her neck and shoulders tighten with tension again.

'I'm sorry,' Betsy said with a sigh, 'I should have asked to speak to you myself.'

'It's not your fault, Betsy.' Janet said with a sigh. 'If anyone owes me an apology, it's Cassie.' She massaged her pounding temple. 'Why don't you turn in? I'll wait up for her.'

Betsy nodded and said goodnight. Janet headed for the kitchen and poured a glass of wine before she made herself comfortable on the den's old sofa, turning the TV to an old black and white movie. She hoped Cassie kept her curfew because otherwise the one week of grounding she was going to receive as a punishment was going to be two. Janet sipped her wine and grimaced; it was just the perfect end to her day.

o-O-o

The two Jaffa remained in comfortable silence in the isolation room. Bra'tac sat on a stool pulled up close to Teal'c's bed. His mentor was quiet, waiting and Teal'c was grateful for his patience. Teal'c lay still, his hands folded over his upper stomach, above the pouch where the returned symbiote writhed. Teal'c's face was immobile; his dark eyes fixed on a mark on the far wall yet his mind was racing over the events of his life that the rite had unburied; over the events of the past weeks that he could barely bring himself to remember without the bitter taste of failure and shame.

He had allowed himself to be injured…captured…brainwashed. He had succumbed to Apophis's lies and deceit. He had betrayed his friends; hurt them; planned to kill them. He had been weak.

The only bright note was that Apophis was dead. It was unlikely that even he had survived the crash of the mothership into his planet. Teal'c was satisfied with that at least. He wished he could be as certain of Tanith's fate. He had planned to avenge Sho'nac's death with Tanith's but the Goa'uld had outwitted him; ambushed him, turned him over to Apophis. Teal'c could not remember seeing him on the ship before the Replicator attack. His gut churned at the thought that Tanith might have escaped again. If he had…Teal'c had more to avenge than Sho'nac's death; it was also his own honour that was at stake. If he had not…if Tanith had died on the ship…Teal'c felt the bite of frustration and wondered which he truly hoped was the reality; Tanith alive so he could enact his vengeance or Tanith dead even if it was not by his own hand.

Bra'tac stirred on the stool, adjusting his silver cloak.

Teal'c met the older Jaffa's eyes. 'You look tired.' He commented quietly. His voice rumbling deep and low from his chest.

'I am old.' Bra'tac responded spiritedly. 'Some of us are no longer meant for marched walks and all night vigils to rescue stubborn Jaffas.'

'I am grateful.' Teal'c replied warmly. 'You saved me, old friend.'

'You saved yourself.' Bra'tac contradicted. 'You are the first to survive the rite.' He patted Teal'c's shoulder, his hand rested on him gently. 'You are strong.'

Teal'c shifted uncomfortable with the praise. 'I allowed myself to succumb to Apophis's brainwashing.'

'It was an impossible fight.' Bra'tac shot back. 'The sarcophagus method is usually irreversible. That you are recovered at all is a miracle.'

Teal'c did not reply; Bra'tac's words were true – he knew that – but he still could not believe that there had not been some way for him to resist what had occurred.

Bra'tac patted him again. 'You are strong, Teal'c, as your friends.'

'I betrayed them.' Teal'c was unable to prevent the words from leaving his mouth. He clamped his lips shut.

'And still they worked to save you, hmmm?' Bra'tac pointed out. 'They know who you truly are, Teal'c.'

'I would have killed them.' Teal'c confided.

'You could return with me to the camp.' Bra'tac suggested evenly.

Teal'c shook his head. Leaving Earth after what he had done would be worse than staying. It would be cowardice. He needed to restore his honour and that could only be done by staying and fighting alongside his friends against the Goa'uld. It would be difficult but he needed to prove to himself that he had the strength to prove his loyalty to them once more. He would not run to the camp and hide like some frightened child. More, he could not lead men with such a stain on his honour nor look his son in the eye as a warrior. He was not worthy.

'No one will know of this, Teal'c.' Bra'tac continued. 'Your friends told Rak'nor you were injured; no more than that.'

'I will know.' Teal'c said quietly.

Bra'tac stood. 'I must take my leave. I have left the camp too long already.' He reached forward and clasped Teal'c's arm. He held it firmly. 'You bear no dishonour, Teal'c.' His eyes bore into Teal'c's. 'You are yourself again; that took no small measure of strength and courage. If the rite had not worked you would have died.'

Teal'c held his mentor's gaze and Bra'tac gave a satisfied nod that Teal'c had at least listened to his words. Bra'tac let go and left the room. Teal'c closed his eyes and prepared for kel no reem. His recovery and his symbiote's would progress faster with the meditation.

He stirred hours later and was unsurprised to find Colonel O'Neill by his bedside. The military man sat on the same stool Bra'tac had been perched on. He was flipping through a magazine; an old copy of the National Enquirer that Teal'c recognised as his.

'O'Neill.'

'Teal'c.' Jack immediately abandoned his reading material and gave Teal'c his attention. He gestured at him. 'How's Junior?'

'The symbiote has recovered.' Teal'c said calmly. 'As have I.'

'Doc says the same.' Jack noted briskly. He folded his arms across his chest, crumpling the blue BDU shirt he wore. 'Hammond's given permission for you to go back to quarters when you're ready.'

'I am ready.' Teal'c went to pull back the covers.

Jack moved swiftly away to give him privacy. He plucked the dressing robe off the back of the door and handed it to Teal'c without looking at him. 'Here.'

'Thank you, O'Neill.' Teal'c put the robe on. He was not bothered about moving about naked but he knew after four years of living among them that humans were sensitive about such matters.

'Uh, Hammond's also cancelled the guard but one of us has to escort you around for a while.' Jack continued, shoving his hands in his pants' pockets.

'A sensible precaution.' Teal'c demurred. He would have taken similar actions in the General's place. He tightened the belt. 'I am ready.'

Jack turned back, his eyes glancing off Teal'c. 'OK. Let's get you to your quarters.'

Teal'c followed him out of the room and along the corridors. He noticed the looks they acquired as they walked past people and he knew it would take time before he was trusted by them again. His heart was heavy as they arrived at his quarters.

Jack opened the door and Teal'c walked inside. Nothing had been disturbed in his absence. His belongings were in their usual places.

'I'll leave you to it.' Jack turned for the door.

'O'Neill.' Teal'c straightened. 'I must apologise…'

Jack waved the words away. 'Forget it.' He held Teal'c's gaze.

They looked at each for a long moment.

Teal'c inclined his head slowly.

Jack nodded. He headed back to the open door. He paused, his hand on the door frame and looked back over his shoulder. 'Teal'c?'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow in response.

'It's good to have _you_ back.' Jack tapped the door frame once and departed.

Teal'c walked over and closed the door. He turned back to his room. The fact that nothing had been moved and everything had been left for his return humbled him. His friends had believed in him. It was evidence of their faith that he would return to them.

There was a sharp knock on the door. He moved over to answer it and found Samantha Carter on the other side.

'Hey, the Colonel told me you were back in your quarters so…' Sam gestured at him awkwardly. 'I thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing.'

'I am doing fine, Major Carter.' Teal'c said warmly.

'Good, good.' Sam caught herself twisting her fingers together and hurriedly placed them behind her back. 'Actually, there was something I wanted to ask you?'

He invited her into the room.

She turned to him eagerly. 'I'd like your permission to share the medical data collected when you were going through the rite with the Tok'ra. My Dad feels that it might help them understand something about the Jaffa physiology that would help free your people from their reliance on the Goa'uld symbiotes.'

Teal'c could not help the automatic denial that hovered on his lips. He knew Major Carter had good intentions and knew she was correct that potentially the data might be useful but…he could not bear the thought that the details of his dishonour would be shared further especially with the Tok'ra.

'You don't want to do it.' Sam realised clearly disappointed.

'It is difficult.' Teal'c admitted, turning away from her.

'I understand, Teal'c, but this could be important or I wouldn't ask.' Sam said quietly.

He looked at her and nodded slowly. 'Very well, Major Carter.' He clasped his own hands behind his back; an incongruous image in his bathrobe. 'You may share the data with your father. But he is only to share it further if he feels it is truly useful.'

'I'll let him know.' Sam said.

'I wish to make an apology to you, Major Carter.' Teal'c said gruffly. 'For my behaviour during these past few weeks.'

Sam smiled at him sympathetically. 'You don't have to, Teal'c. It wasn't you; we knew that.' Her eyes widened suddenly at the clock on the wall over his shoulder. 'I have to go.' She gestured at the door. 'I'm supposed to be playing chess with Cassie.'

'Please give my regards to Cassandra.' Teal'c said as she headed for the door.

'I will.' Sam opened the door but suddenly whirled back and hugged him swiftly, releasing him before he could respond. 'Welcome back, Teal'c.'

She left abruptly, closing the door behind her. Teal'c headed for the small adjoining bathroom, stripped and showered. He had just refinished dressing and had lit some candles to perform a second meditation when he heard another knock on his door. He called for the person to enter and was unsurprised to see Daniel Jackson walk in.

'Hey.' Daniel closed the door softly behind him and wrapped his arms around his torso. 'I'm not disturbing you, am I?'

'You are not.' Teal'c confirmed. He motioned at the floor and Daniel dropped lightly into a cross-legged position, following Teal'c's own example.

'So.' Daniel began hesitantly. 'How are you doing with…everything?'

Teal'c pressed his lips together. 'I owe you an apology.'

'Why?' Daniel asked as though startled.

'I tried to kill you.' Teal'c pointed out bluntly.

Daniel nodded as though in agreement, the candle-light catching on the panes of glass that covered his eyes. 'You remember when I apologised for the time you spent in the mines when I was drugged up on the sarcophagus? You remember what you said to me?'

'I said there was no need.' Teal'c recalled. 'That you were not in control of your actions.'

'Well, I, uh, I think the same applies here.' Daniel said firmly. 'You weren't in control, Teal'c, anymore than I was when I was hyped up from the sarcophagus or Sam was when she was possessed by Jolinar or that alien entity thing.' He wet his lips. 'I do know how you're feeling though and if you ever want to talk…' he shrugged and held Teal'c's gaze with a depth of empathy that staggered the Jaffa. 'I know it's not easy to forgive yourself.'

Teal'c sat stunned, unable to respond.

Daniel got to his feet. He patted Teal'c's shoulder on the way past and left the Jaffa alone to his meditation.

Teal'c closed his eyes. His friends had not abandoned him – would not abandon him despite his actions toward them. He felt overwhelmed by their support; their love. And he had come so close to losing it…to losing them…

'I choose freedom.' He murmured softly. The memory flashed again in his mind; the earnest faces of Samantha Carter and Daniel Jackson, the fierce determination on O'Neill's face as he had begged Teal'c to help them. He had chosen freedom; he had chosen them. He vowed he would not fail them again.


	3. Surface Damage

**Author's Note:** Sam/Jack UST. Sam/Team friendship.

**Ascension Recap:** _SG1 are surveying the ruins of P4X636 where they've found an unusual device. Sam is trying to make sense of it when some kind of entity hits her and she is left unconscious. Back at the SGC, Janet theorises that Sam collapsed due to fatigue; she is told to take it easy. When she joins Jack, Daniel, Hammond and a Col. Reynolds at the debriefing, Hammond and Jack both make it clear that her services are not required for ongoing analysis of the device. Sam is told to take some time off. When she complains to Jack, he encourages her to take up a hobby. Sam goes home unaware that she is being watched by the same entity from the planet._

_Sam goes to get the morning paper and runs into an attractive man outside her front gate. She says hello but quickly retreats inside only to find him in her house where he tells her he is an alien from the planet and calls himself 'Orlin.' Freaked out, she leaves and calls in a code 3 team. Jack reassures her she did the right thing and offers to hang out but she refuses noting the alien has only shown itself to her._

_A week later, Sam undergoes a psych evaluation and the cameras are removed from her house. Orlin reappears and reveals himself to be one of the glowing energy beings like Oma on Kheb. Sam goes back to work and asks Jack about a camera left in her house; she asks him hypothetically if she should get more intel on the alien before bringing it up officially again and he – hypothetically – agrees._

_Sam goes home to find Orlin has descended and is a mortal. She hides him when Jack and Teal'c arrive with pizza and Star Wars. Jack realises that she has company and covers his surprise, leaving her alone with the pizza. He and Teal'c go off to visit a ring of jello with Daniel. Meanwhile, Orlin explains that he was the one who told the Velonans how to build the weapon; only once they'd saved themselves from the Goa'uld, they started to think about conquering other planets. The other Ascended beings stepped in, destroyed the planet and banished Orlin there._

_When the Pentagon decides to test the weapon, Sam protests and is told by Hammond despite the protests of a Col. Simmons who is there, that she has two weeks to make her case. She talks with Orlin in a park who tells her the Others may stop them. 9 days later, Sam is called into Hammond's office. Jack and Col Simmons are also there. The Pentagon had kept Sam under surveillance; they are moving in on Orlin. Jack backs up Sam, saying she had his permission to gather intel from the alien. They go to Sam's house. Jack suggests Sam goes into get Orlin but when she does, Orlin takes her to the basement where he has built a mini-Stargate. He is going back to Velona to stop the test. Sam goes with him as Simmons's team storms her house._

_On the planet, Reynolds shoots Orlin when he goes to disconnect the weapon and the naquadah generator. Orlin Ascends again to save Sam – taking the generator far into the sky where it blows up; a lightening strike takes out the weapon. Sam is left wondering if Orlin survived the blast or whether he is gone for good. _

**Surface Damage**

'Clear!'

The shouts of the Special Forces men around him brought back memories that Jack O'Neill rarely acknowledged. In a different lifetime, probably in a different reality, he would have been leading the men that surrounded him in the basement of Samantha Carter's home. The thought disturbed him and his hand gripped the radio Carter had left behind – or been forced to leave behind. Panic bubbled up and he pushed it away ruthlessly.

'What the hell is that?' One of them said, gesturing with a flashlight at the mini-Stargate that Jack assumed the alien had built, although he kind of thought attempting to build her own Stargate was exactly the type of thing that Carter might have taken up as a hobby.

'Classified.' Jack snapped out. 'Everybody out!'

'This is my operation, Colonel O'Neill.' The slick tone had Jack's stomach sinking and he closed his eyes briefly, hoping that maybe if he wished hard enough, the Pentagon Colonel with the thinning hair and bad attitude would disappear. He reopened his eyes.

No such luck, Jack mused unhappily as Colonel Simmons entered the room and gestured at his men to leave. Simmons took in the metal ring. Jack was reluctantly impressed at the lack of reaction as the Colonel turned back to him. 'You might want to reconsider your story, O'Neill. The SGC's golden girl is going to do prison time for this little escapade.'

'For doing what exactly, Simmons?' Jack bit out.

'Helping an alien to escape.' Simmons said. His dark eyes glinted in the semi-darkness. 'Treason.'

Jack glared at him, taking in Simmons's smug superiority with distaste. 'You have nothing on her.'

Simmons shrugged. He started out of the room but stopped and nodded at the mini-Stargate. 'Oh and Colonel? Don't bother calling the SGC. I'll have a retrieval team take that straight to Area 51.'

He waited until Simmons had left before he pulled out his cell and dialled a direct number to the SGC's commanding officer.

'Hammond.' The General sounded unhappy and Jack couldn't blame him. It had been a bad day. Finding out the Pentagon had been spying on Carter was a shock; that Carter had been playing house with an alien for the better part of a month another but finding out that Carter hadn't felt able to confide in them about the alien after they had dismissed her initial report as fiction was worse. It left a bitter taste in Jack's mouth.

'General, the alien built a mini-Stargate. It looks like he used it to get off-world.' Jack yanked his cap off and rubbed his hands through his silver hair furiously.

There was a moment of shocked silence.

'I see.' Hammond's soft Texan drawl floated back down the connection.

Jack cleared his throat. 'He took Carter with him.'

'He abducted her?' Hammond's voice was filled with concern.

'Unknown.' Jack said reluctantly. He had a horrible, sneaking suspicion that Carter had gone voluntarily – without a GDO and no way of getting back to Earth. And if she had, it was a hell of a risk to take. He looked down at the floor and back up at the basement ceiling. The whole situation was a hell of a mess.

Hammond sighed. 'Do we know where they went?'

'I have an idea.' Jack responded caustically.

'636?' Hammond asked. 'You think the alien went to stop the weapon test?'

'Maybe.' Jack muttered. 'General, permission to…'

'As soon as you can get yourself back here, Colonel.' Hammond cut in, anticipating the request to take the remaining members of SG1, Daniel Jackson and Teal'c, back to P4X636.

'You may want to send a team to monitor things here, sir.' Jack said hurriedly. 'Simmons has ordered a retrieval team for the device.'

'Understood.' Hammond said briskly.

Jack heard the dial tone and he slapped the cell shut as he walked briskly out, replacing his cap as he took the steps to the main living area two at a time. He absently noted the damage the Special Forces guys had done to Carter's home as he made his way out; internal and external doors smashed in, dirt all over the carpet, ornaments carelessly broken in the charge. His jaw tightened. He'd help her fix it. If she let him. The thought that Carter might not trust him enough anymore to even do that, made him wince.

Jack took a moment to search out the lead guy on the team securing the house. 'Hey! Where's Simmons?'

'He left a moment ago, sir.' The Special Forces CO jerked his head in the direction of the cars.

Jack frowned. Simmons's vehicle had gone and so was his ride. 'Your orders?' For a long moment, he thought the other soldier wasn't going to tell him especially as he had no reason or obligation to tell him. But Jack had been one of them once and he kept his expression firm, expectant.

The guy tilted his head and stared at Jack. 'Secure the building and wait for the retrieval team.'

Jack nodded. 'Some of my people will be arriving to oversee.' He left unspoken that they were to be treated with due respect.

'Understood.'

'And try to make sure nobody breaks anything else in there.' Jack called as he began walking away.

'Sir.' The word was an acknowledgement but Jack figured the guy would pay about as much attention as he would have done in the same position which meant he'd pay no attention at all. He commandeered a vehicle and gunned the engine. A moment later, he was leaving the circus surrounding Carter's house behind.

The silence in the car was deafening.

He grimaced.

The drive over had been bad enough. Hammond had given them permission to accompany Simmons to the house for the raid despite Simmons's protests. Jack had gone with Carter in Simmons's vehicle. Not that there had been an opportunity to talk but even if there had been, he had no clue what he would have said to her, partly because he'd wanted to yell at her for not telling him everything and partly because the apology for not believing her in the first place stuck in his throat.

Carter hadn't said anything either. She'd sat quietly, her fingers worrying at the edge of her shirt – she had grabbed it instead of a jacket. They hadn't even had time to brief their SG1 team-mates before they had left which prompted another thought. He flipped open the cell and hit his speed dial. The ringing phone at the other end was picked up immediately.

'Daniel Jackson.'

'It's me.' Jack said briefly with a heavy sigh.

'Jack, what's happening? There're rumours flying all over the place here…'

'Carter's imaginary friend? Not so imaginary.' Jack said quickly, cutting into Daniel's sentence unapologetically.

Daniel regrouped. 'How is she?' His voice was filled with concern for their team-mate.

'Off-world with the alien.' Jack said tersely. 'He apparently built a Stargate in her basement.'

'He what?'

Jack ignored Daniel's stunned disbelief. 'We don't know if she went voluntarily or not.'

'You think they went to stop the weapons test.'

Jack silently thanked God for Daniel's quick intelligence. 'Makes sense. Carter's been trying to get it stopped for days.'

'So we're going to P4X636?'

'As soon as I get back.' Jack replied.

'We'll be ready.' Daniel promised.

Jack didn't bother replying; he closed the phone and tossed it on the dash. He shook his head as he got to an intersection, trying to make sense of what had happened.

Carter had collapsed. That had been the start of it. It was supposed to have been a milk run mission given it was only their second mission after Teal'c's recovery from brainwashing; just a simple perusal of some ruins on an abandoned planet; no threats, no danger. Carter had been fiddling with the device trying to understand it. She'd been fine when he had checked in on her. Five minutes later, Daniel's panicked call had reached him; the archaeologist had found Carter lying unconscious.

It had scared the hell out of Jack. The sight of Carter lying on the ground, pale and unmoving had triggered a flashback to a couple of months before when he'd shot her twice with a zat, when she had been left lying pale and unmoving: dead. All of the carefully constructed barriers that he had erected between since that moment had come crashing down around his ears in a heartbeat. All the distance he had put between them so they could move on from loving each other inappropriately, to protect her better, to protect himself, all of it had been swept away in a rush of panic that had smothered his breathing and had his heart beating so fast that it threatened to break through his chest. He had checked her pulse with shaking fingers he had refused to acknowledge.

When Carter had opened her eyes and stared up at him in confusion, he'd been torn between giddy relief that she was OK and a furious anger at himself that he was still as in love with her as ever, that nothing had changed. He knew his anger had grown tenfold when Janet Fraiser had determined that Carter's collapse had been caused by exhaustion and he'd welcomed it. If he was mad at Carter for not taking care of herself he could pretend he hadn't been terrified at her being hurt. He figured that was why he'd been so curt at Carter's plaintive admission that she had nothing to do outside of the SGC when she had protested at being told to rest. He'd been nursing his anger. And yet…it hadn't been Carter's fault. According to Simmons's surveillance report, she hadn't collapsed because of exhaustion at all but because the alien had tried to communicate with her.

Guilt rose up like bile in his throat and he pressed down harder on the accelerator. He hadn't protected Carter on the planet and he hadn't protected her when she had reported the alien's presence in her home. She had called it in as soon as it had made contact with her on Earth and it wasn't that he hadn't believed her…he had, kind of. They'd all been through weird stuff and Carter's report that an invisible alien had followed her home hadn't seemed _that_ weird in the scheme of things.

In his mind's eyes, he could recall the lingering fear in her blue eyes when he'd made to leave after the SGC team had swept her house and found nothing. Whatever she had seen, she'd been freaked out. He'd impulsively offered to stay but she had pulled on her bravado and turned him down. He'd taken the out she'd given him; a mixture of disappointment and relief rolling through him because he really shouldn't have wanted to stay as much as he did.

And then a week had passed and there had been no sign of Carter's alien; no video footage of him walking through the gate; no surveillance footage of him in her home. They'd taken the cameras out and ordered Carter to attend a psych evaluation following Fraiser's continued belief that Carter was just exhausted – that it was some kind of call for help and that the events of the past few years were catching up with Carter including being inhabited by a computer entity and almost being killed by her CO.

Jack's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. Carter had come to him and asked him about a camera she'd found in her home – she'd asked him outright if she was being watched and he had denied it with the unhappy thought that maybe she was sliding into paranoia along with delusions despite the psych evaluation clearing her for duty. He'd bluntly told her that everyone would think she was nuts until they had proof. Maybe that was why she had asked him if she had seen the alien again that her obtaining intel before she reported it again formally was the way to go. He'd agreed not really believing the alien was real and unhappy at the idea that Carter probably believed she had seen it again if she was asking him about it.

It had been Teal'c who had found him in the locker room, contemplating whether he should tell Hammond about his conversation with Carter, and the more disturbing thought about whether she really was nuts.

'_O'Neill.'_

_Jack barely looked up from the floor, his eyes tracing the pattern of creases on the linoleum. 'Teal'c.'_

_The Jaffa sat beside him and clasped his hands. 'I am concerned about Major Carter.'_

_Jack's brown eyes flickered to Teal'c. He looked away at the gleam of empathy in his team-mate's dark eyes. He got to his feet and reached into his locker to start changing._

'_I believe an evening watching a movie and dining with friends would help Major Carter relax.' Teal'c offered quietly._

'_Teal'c, I'm not sure…' Jack began._

'_I require your company, O'Neill. I would go alone but I am not currently allowed off base without an escort and Daniel Jackson remains busy with his translations.' Teal'c said, his eyes catching Jack's determinedly. _

_Jack rubbed his chin and considered Teal'c's suggestion. 'A movie and pizza?'_

_Teal'c inclined his head._

_Jack nodded and closed the locker. 'Go choose a movie. I'll clear you going off base with Hammond.'_

It had seemed like a good idea right up until the moment when Carter had greeted them at the door and told them she had a date – or rather he'd assumed she had a date, he realised in hindsight. It had felt like someone had punched him in the gut. Never mind that moving on from their feelings had been his idea after the whole shooting her incident; never mind that she had every right to date whoever she wanted; never mind that he had no right to think of her as his…it had hurt. The idea that she was seeing someone else had hurt. He had no idea what he'd said to her, he only remembered that it had been beyond awkward. Had he actually given her the pizza? The next thing he could remember clearly was waking up the next morning with a hangover, a vague memory of jello and a napkin with a telephone number that he'd thrown in the trash.

He'd spent the last couple of weeks avoiding Carter. It had been relatively easy. She had been assigned to help out with the power for the weapons test on 636 while he and Teal'c had accompanied SG12 on scouting missions for a new Alpha site. He frowned as he recalled returning nine days before and Daniel catching up with him in the corridor…

'_Jack!'_

_Jack turned around at the shout. 'Daniel.'_

'_How was your mission?' Daniel asked, catching up and falling into step beside Jack as he headed for the elevator and the post-mission health check._

'_There were insects. Big insects.' Jack commented dryly. He punched the call button. He glanced at Daniel and registered the look on the archaeologist's face; the one that said that something was wrong. 'So what's with you?'_

_Daniel opened his mouth but paused as the elevator arrived. They stepped in and the doors closed._

'_Daniel?' Jack prompted._

'_Sam has this theory that the weapon on 636 caused some kind of environmental cataclysm that wiped out the population.' Daniel wrapped his arms around his torso._

'_That's a bit of a leap, isn't it?' Jack commented only half-interested._

'_A bit. Hammond's given her a couple of weeks to prove it.' Daniel looked at him. 'I'm worried about her, Jack.'_

'_Daniel…' Jack said exasperated._

'_She's not herself.' Daniel broke in. 'She keeps leaving early…'_

'_She has a new boyfriend, Daniel.' Jack looked up at the floor indicator. He was happy for her; he was. She deserved to find a life outside of the SGC. She deserved to move on, find someone who could love her and be there for her. Just as he had known she would. So what if he felt like crap? It was no more than he deserved; he'd had no business falling for her in the first place. 'She probably wants to spend time with the guy.'_

'_And it doesn't bother you?' Daniel retorted._

_Jack bristled. 'Daniel…'_

'_I didn't mean,' Daniel gestured at him, 'that,' he sighed, 'I only meant…' he wet his lips as Jack continued to glare at him. 'Sam collapsed, Jack. Then she says she's seen an alien that nobody else does and barely a week later, suddenly there's some guy on the scene? What if this guy's taking advantage of her?'_

'_She's a big girl, Daniel.' Jack bit out. 'She'd be the first to tell you she can take care of herself.'_

'_So you're not going to talk to her?' Daniel asked outright._

'_Unless her personal life interferes with her duties, Daniel, there's this little rule that says as her CO, it's none of my business.' Jack gave an inward sigh of relief as the elevator slid to a halt and the doors opened. He stepped out._

'_How about as her friend?' Daniel's parting shot echoed in his ears as he walked down the corridor…_

He should have listened to Daniel. Jack sighed heavily. Maybe he would have done if the archaeologist hadn't been assigned to translate for negotiations involving two Germanic tribes on some planet SG8 had found. Or maybe he should have stopped and listened to Carter the day before when she had approached him before his mission…

'_Colonel.' Sam fell into step beside him as he stepped out of the elevator and he nodded at her._

'_Come to see me off, Major?'_

'_Actually, I've been trying to find you all day, sir, I was hoping you had a minute.'_

_Jack shot her a look but obligingly stopped in the middle of the corridor. 'Wormhole leaves in five.'_

'_It's just…' Sam stopped as a couple of the members of SG12 walked by. She sighed, a resigned look entering her blue eyes. 'It'll wait, sir.'_

'_OK.' Jack nodded and tugged his cap down. 'See you when I get back.'_

'_Good luck, sir.'_

Only as soon as he'd returned, Hammond had called him into the office, they'd had an interesting chat with Simmons. Carter had been told to report to Hammond and that really brought events smack up to date.

He should have listened; should have been there for her instead of avoiding her because of he'd been jealous and hurt when he'd had no right as her CO or as her friend to be either. Some friend he was, he thought, silently acknowledging the jealousy that still twisted his gut as the memory of the pictures of Carter in the park with the young handsome alien guy surfaced again.

So, Carter had been living with an alien for a few weeks; an attractive alien who apparently knew how to build a Stargate from scratch and was evidently Carter's intellectual equal. Someone who she was prepared to risk her career to protect by hiding; someone she was prepared to risk her life for if she had followed him off-world willingly. Carter obviously cared about the alien a great deal whatever their relationship.

Jack grimaced. There he went again with the jealousy. He had to get a handle on it. He was letting his personal feelings interfere with the job and that was unacceptable. It was the part of the reason why he'd told Carter they had to get over their feelings and move on. Maybe he'd allowed his feelings to prevent him from doing the right thing for the last few weeks but he was done with it. He would be there for Carter.

His cell rang. He reached over and flipped it open. 'O'Neill.'

'SG16 and Sam have arrived back from 636.' Daniel said without preamble.

Relief flooded Jack. Carter was safe and back on Earth. 'You and Teal'c stay with her, Daniel.' Jack said firmly. 'I'll be there as soon as I can.'

He ended the call and checked his speed. His foot pressed down on the gas. He had a feeling this wasn't over as far as Simmons was concerned.

o-O-o

Sam clambered onto the infirmary bed and closed her eyes to the chaos around her. In one corner of the treatment room she could hear Janet issuing orders as she examined Lieutenant Thomas who Orlin had zatted. Thomas had come round soon after the lightening strike that had taken out the weapon. Sam had managed to convince Colonel Reynolds, the SG16 leader, that it was time to leave.

Orlin was dead.

Or Ascended.

She had no idea if his energy form would have survived the explosion of the naquadah generator. Sadness swept over her; grief. Orlin had died saving her; protecting her. She rubbed her head tiredly.

'Sam!'

Her eyes opened wearily and she watched Daniel and Teal'c approach with mixed emotions. She wondered for a split second if they were angry with her for keeping things from them before Daniel swept her into a hug. Sam returned it weakly; overwhelmed by their unequivocal support. She closed her eyes and fought back the tears. She would not cry. She would not.

'Hey.' Daniel murmured, his arms tightening around her.

She opened her eyes.

'It is good to see you, Major Carter.' Teal'c confirmed kindly as he sat beside her.

She nodded, unable to speak; she didn't trust herself not to burst into tears.

Daniel pulled back and sat on her other side, adjusting the cuffs on his blue shirt. 'Jack's on his way back.'

Sam paled at that news. She had betrayed the Colonel's trust in leaving with Orlin. He had expected her to talk Orlin into giving himself up, not for her to go running off after an alien through a homemade wormhole. She crossed her arms protectively over her chest. What had she been thinking?

She had been thinking that she needed to go after him and help him; that maybe she could explain it to Reynolds; maybe she could make sure that no-one got hurt. She had been wrong. She bit her lip and looked down at the floor.

'So,' Daniel cleared his throat and nudged her arm, 'what happened?'

'That's an excellent question.' Simmons strode into the infirmary like he owned the place. Conversation halted as all activity froze. 'One I'm sure we'd all like the answer to, Major.'

Janet hurried forward, her dark eyes flashing with anger. 'You need to leave, Colonel. This is an infirmary and I will not have my patients disturbed.'

Simmons's dark eyes slid over Janet coldly. He smiled. 'Of course. Quite right. We'll get out of your way.' He gestured at the SFs at the door. 'Arrest Major Carter.'

Teal'c stood immediately, straightening to his full height, protecting her.

Sam slipped off the bed and placed a hand on Teal'c's muscular forearm. She couldn't allow Teal'c to get into trouble because of her.

Nobody moved.

'I said arrest Major Carter.' Simmons repeated, a touch of anger creeping into his tone.

'Belay that order.' Hammond said authoratively.

They all turned to find the portly General standing in the doorway. Hammond's hands were unconsciously clenched into fists. He glared at Simmons. 'My office.'

Simmons stared at him. 'Major Carter went off-world without permission and conspired with an alien to disrupt a test authorised by the government of the United States. Not even you can protect her this time.'

'I said my office.' Hammond repeated.

Simmons crossed his arms over his chest but he moved, stepping around Hammond to leave the room. Hammond watched over his shoulder until the Pentagon man disappeared.

'Major.' Hammond began tightly, his pale blue eyes landing back on Sam. She felt her gut knot up at the look in his eyes. 'You are restricted to quarters until we can get this cleared up.'

'After my examination, sir.' Janet inserted forcefully.

Hammond glanced at her. 'You can do the exam in her quarters, Doctor.' He gestured at Teal'c. 'Please escort Major Carter, Teal'c, and guard her until relieved by either myself or Colonel O'Neill personally.'

The Jaffa regarded Hammond evenly before he inclined his head.

'General…' Daniel started to protest but Sam shook her head.

'It's OK, Daniel.' She attempted a smile but couldn't hold it. She walked out of the infirmary beside Teal'c. She could feel the eyes of everyone in the infirmary boring into her back as she left.

They stepped into an elevator and she hugged herself tightly, hoping she could keep it together until they got to her quarters.

'I believe General Hammond has ordered your confinement to protect you.' Teal'c said softly.

'I've disappointed him.' Sam blurted out, unable to hold the words inside.

'I do not believe this to be the case.' Teal'c stated firmly.

Sam could only shake her head. 'You saw the look on his face, Teal'c.'

Teal'c shifted his weight, clasping his hands behind his back. 'Do you believe you have done something to disappoint him?'

'Yes.' Sam replied automatically.

He raised an eyebrow.

'Maybe.' She qualified. She stared at the floor. 'I don't know. I…'

'Did you not inform the SGC immediately when you became aware of the alien presence?'

'Yes but…'

'And did you not raise your concerns regarding the weapons test with General Hammond?' Teal'c continued, ignoring her stuttering answer.

'Yes but…' She stopped at Teal'c's supportive gaze. She sighed and rubbed her arms. 'I should have convinced Orlin to come and see General Hammond with me.'

'Did you not attempt to do so?' Teal'c asked.

Sam nodded.

'He refused.' Teal'c said confidently.

'He said he thought there was another way.' Sam explained with a sigh. 'I didn't realise he was planning to build a Stargate in my basement.' She shoved a hand through her hair.

The elevator slid to a stop and they made their way to Sam's room. Sam slid her card into the reader.

'I will remain outside.' Teal'c informed her.

Sam nodded. 'Thanks, Teal'c.' She closed the door behind her and made her way to the bed. She sat down and dropped her head into her hands, covering her face. Where had it all gone so horribly wrong, she wondered tiredly.

Her mind raced over events. Her collapse. Everybody telling her to take it easy. Orlin's first appearance. The code 3 team. The Colonel offering to stay and hang out with her…

She brushed the tears away from her eyes. She had so wanted to agree but she knew he had regretted the offer, knew he hadn't meant it. He had been serious about them moving on from their feelings and she had to get used to that. The memory popped back into her head unwillingly.

_'It got a little too close there for a while.' Jack said softly. His eyes held hers and begged her to understand. 'I hope we can put this behind us, Carter.' He continued quietly. 'Move on?'_

_Sam felt her heart seize and she wondered if she was actually breathing; he wasn't talking about his shooting her, she realised, he was talking about them - about their feelings for each other that had slipped way over the lines the military deemed appropriate. She dropped her gaze momentarily before she looked up at him again, holding his gaze determinedly. 'Yes, sir.'_

She stood up and went into the small adjoining bathroom. She ran some water into the sink and washed her face. She stared into the mirror as she patted her skin dry. It had hurt so much that no-one had believed her once the cameras had failed to pick up Orlin's presence. Even the Colonel had encouraged her to take the psych evaluation as though he had believed that she was cracking under the pressure.

Orlin had only showed up again when the cameras had gone or at least the cameras they had known about had gone. The spirit sharing had been incredible. She had felt his warm compassion, his good heart, his fierce intellect, his power – and she had known him for who he was – an energy being like Oma Desala, the alien who protected the Harcesis child, Shifu. She had been torn on what to do. The prospect of learning from him had been incredibly tempting but she knew he would disappear again if she reported him and it would just make her look even crazier.

Sam stuffed the towel back on the rack and headed back to the bed. She climbed onto it and rested her back against the pillows, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. In one way, she understood why everyone hadn't believed her. She had been through a lot and she had collapsed with what everyone had thought was exhaustion and as the Colonel had rightly pointed out, no-one else was seeing what she saw but…but she had still expected after everything they had been through that he would believe her – that all her team-mates would believe her. Not that she had really discussed any of it with Daniel and Teal'c. They'd been busy during her week of leave and when she'd returned she had assumed they believed the alien had been a figment of her imagination like everyone else. Maybe she should have talked to them but…she couldn't have borne it if they had dismissed her as crazy too. The Colonel's sharp confirmation that he didn't believe her because no-one was seeing what she saw had hurt too much; she thought he had trusted her more than that.

She rested her chin on her knees. He had practically run away from her when she had asked him about her plan to continue gathering intel on Orlin rather than report her encounter officially again. Maybe he had just desperately needed the bathroom but it had stung. Maybe that was the reason why she had so eagerly jumped on his teasing that she had a date when he'd shown up at her door with Teal'c, a pizza and a movie. In hindsight, she could see that it had been a sweet gesture, that maybe he'd been trying to reach out after their earlier conversation.

And she had thrown it back in his face agreeing to his assertion that she had a date. She had seen his shock and she'd been so tempted to take it back but then he'd made some encouraging remark and that had hurt more and…Sam groaned. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on her knees. She was pathetic. Fair enough that she had panicked when someone had appeared at the door but once she knew it was the Colonel and Teal'c, she should have just invited them inside and introduced them to Orlin. That's what she should have done. Instead, she had ended up hiding an alien because she'd been unwilling to admit to her CO that she didn't have a date. The Colonel had been right that they needed to get some distance and move on. She had allowed her feelings for him to interfere with her judgement like some schoolgirl.

Sam sighed. If that explained why she hidden Orlin that first night he had been human it didn't explain why she had hidden him the night after that, and the one after that. As much as she wanted to pretend it was because she had wanted to gather more information or because Orlin had not agreed to talk to General Hammond, she knew deep down that the reason was more personal. She had hidden Orlin and continued to hide him because it had been nice to have someone to come home to every night; someone who made her feel special and loved.

Tears sprang to her eyes again and she closed them hurriedly. She had thought she had been doing the right thing but she had been wrong. All of her decisions had simply led to a humiliating meeting with General Hammond and the Colonel, and worse, Orlin had paid the price. He had returned to Velona to stop the test she had made possible and he had given his life for her. She hugged her knees tighter and finally let herself grieve for him.

o-O-o

Daniel watched unhappily as Sam and Teal'c left the infirmary. His gaze clashed with Hammond's and the General sighed.

'Doctor Jackson, I need you to take a look at surveillance reports from the Pentagon. I've had the material delivered to your office.' Hammond said crisply. 'I'd like you to report to the briefing room in one hour to give a summary of the findings.'

Daniel opened his mouth to protest – at what he'd been asked to do, at Sam's treatment, at the length of time he'd been given – but his eyes caught on the silent message in the General's that it was important and Daniel nodded in return.

Hammond turned to the CMO. 'Will Colonel Reynolds be cleared by then?'

Janet nodded. 'Yes, sir.'

'Very well.' Hammond gestured at Reynolds. The SG16 leader had jumped to his feet at Hammond's entry and was stood at ease in front of an infirmary bed. His sharp, intelligent features were pale from shock. 'I'll expect you in the briefing room as soon as you're cleared from the infirmary, son.'

'Yes, sir.' Reynolds nodded, his dark hair catching the artificial light.

Hammond nodded and left.

Daniel exchanged an anxious look with Janet. He made his way to his office swiftly, knowing they were short of time. He found the tapes and transcripts waiting for him as Hammond had indicated and he jumped straight in.

Twenty minutes later, he heard a knock on his door and called for the person to enter without looking, immersed in the transcript he was reading.

'You wanted to see me?' Janet thrust her hands into the deep pockets of her medical coat.

'Hmmm?' Daniel blinked at her and remembered the call he had made five minutes earlier to the infirmary. 'Oh. Yes.' He got to his feet and waved at her with the report in his hand. 'I, uh, wanted your opinion on…something.'

'Sure.' Janet said, joining him at his overflowing desk.

'Have you seen Sam yet?' Daniel asked urgently as he found the right section of transcript.

'Not yet.' Janet admitted. 'I was on my way when you called.'

'Well, you may want to ask her about this.' Daniel said quietly. He pressed the report into her hands.

Janet looked at him briefly before she dropped her gaze to the page and started reading. Her eyes jerked back up to his suddenly. 'It was the alien's attempt to do this…sharing thing that caused her to collapse?'

Daniel nodded. He leaned against the back of his swivel chair and regarded her thoughtfully as she continued reading.

'And he performed this…thing again after she went through the psych evaluation.' Janet continued.

'You see where I'm going with this?' Daniel said, gesturing at the paper.

'That I did it again?'

'Sorry?' Daniel frowned in genuine confusion.

Janet handed him the report back and crossed her arms. 'I was the one who diagnosed Sam with exhaustion, Daniel.'

'So…'

'So, I was wrong.' Janet sighed heavily. 'Just like I was wrong when you were infected with Machello's device.'

Daniel grimaced. He could remember the horror of feeling like he was losing his mind when he had been infected with a Goa'uld killing machine. He had been diagnosed as schizophrenic and locked away in a psych ward before the truth had come out. 'Well, this is different.'

'How?' Janet demanded, whirling away to pace his office. 'She told me she felt fine but I didn't listen. I should have explored the possibility that something more was going on especially when she reported seeing the alien.'

'You didn't have all the facts.' Daniel said calmly. 'Sam should have told you once the alien told her what he'd done.'

Janet stopped. 'You're just saying that to make me feel better.'

'Maybe,' Daniel admitted with a half-smile, 'but it's not like Sam not to have reported something like this.'

'You have a theory?' Janet walked back over to him and he saw her determination to move past her self-blame and focus on helping Sam.

'This alien seems to be the same type of energy being as Oma…'

'The alien you encountered on Kheb.' Janet inserted.

'Exactly,' Daniel nodded enthusiastically, 'and the same as Shifu.'

'You collapsed when Shifu shared a dream with you.' Janet mused out loud.

Daniel pointed at her forcefully. 'Yes! Exactly! He planted a dream into my subconscious so…'

Janet's dark eyes gleamed brightly. 'So you think this alien implanted a suggestion into Sam's head to…to keep him a secret? Protect him?'

'It's possible, isn't it?' Daniel asked passionately. 'Theoretically?'

'Theoretically.' Janet agreed. She smiled. 'Sam may not even have been aware of it.'

'Which would explain why she didn't come forward after she did this…sharing thing.' Daniel continued eagerly. 'Sam reported him when she saw him initially and he couldn't take the chance that she wouldn't report him again.'

Janet nodded. 'It's feasible.'

'What's feasible?' Jack's question heralded his arrival as he quickly joined them by the desk.

Daniel took in the older man's tension; Jack's face was gravely serious, the dark eyes filled with nothing but hardness. Jack's presence reassured Daniel, filled him with confidence. Jack would never allow Simmons to arrest Sam. 'Jack.'

'Daniel.'

'When did you…'

'Five minutes ago.' Jack rubbed a hand over his hair. 'Hammond filled me on the plan.'

'There's a plan?' Daniel asked bemused.

'Teal'c's guarding Carter; you're looking at transcripts.' Jack elucidated briefly.

Daniel didn't think it was much of a plan and from the emotion that flashed through Jack's eyes, the military man agreed with him.

'What have you got?' Jack asked, gesturing at Daniel impatiently.

Janet was the one to reply. 'We think we have a viable reason why Sam didn't report the alien's continued presence.'

'Oh?' Jack leaned on the computer monitor, the plastic creaking under his weight.

'The alien tried to access Sam's mind on the planet – that's the reason she collapsed.' Daniel explained.

'I know.' Jack said sharply. 'It was in Simmons's report.'

'So you know that Sam allowed the alien access to her mind when it reappeared to her after the psych evaluation.' Daniel stated.

'I know.'

'So you know what that means?'

'No.' Jack retorted.

'The alien had access to the Major's mind, Colonel.' Janet restated firmly. 'We think it's possible that it was able to plant a subconscious suggestion that it was better she continue to hide its presence than report it again.'

Jack looked back at Daniel as though to check the validity of Janet's assertion.

Daniel nodded. 'It's theoretically possible. We know from my experience with Shifu that these aliens are capable of manipulating minds fairly easily. I mean, Shifu's dream felt completely real to me.'

'And that was a deeply complex and detailed manipulation in comparison.' Janet added. 'This would have been more like a hypnotic suggestion.'

'Well, I'm sold.' Jack said straightening.

'Really?' Daniel was surprised; Jack usually took more time to convince.

'Sure,' Jack agreed with mock cheer, 'beats thinking she just didn't trust us.'

Daniel winced and dropped his gaze.

There was an awkward silence.

Janet cleared her throat. 'I should,' she motioned towards the door.

'Thanks.' Daniel called as she walked out. He looked over at Jack who had picked up an artefact – a small statue – and was turning it over in his hands as though it held all of his attention. Daniel plucked it from his grasp. 'You really think Sam didn't trust us?'

'I think she trusts us,' Jack said with a sigh, 'she just,' he winced, 'doesn't trust us to trust her.'

'Well, that makes sense.' Daniel pointed out exasperated.

Jack shrugged and ran a hand through his silver hair, sending the short strands into disarray. 'You think this is going to be enough?'

'I don't know.' Daniel admitted. 'But it's something right?'

'Yeah.' Jack patted his shoulder. 'It's something.'

Daniel only hoped something was going to be good enough.

o-O-o

The tension in the briefing room was stifling. Daniel fidgeted straightening the folders and taking a sip of coffee. Reynolds sat beside the archaeologist. Jack's dark gaze was fixed across the briefing room table at Simmons on the other side. His eyes never left the other man and Jack could tell it was beginning to freak Simmons out. He welcomed the satisfaction that thought brought.

The other Colonel reached for his tie and smoothed it; he glanced at his watch and over to Hammond's office. Hammond walked out swiftly and they all rose as the General took his seat.

Hammond waited until they were all seated again; he leaned forward, clasping his hands on top of the folder he had placed on the table. 'Colonel Reynolds, perhaps you could give us a brief rundown of events on the planet.'

'I don't see…' Simmons began pompously.

'You don't have to.' Hammond cut in bluntly. His pale eyes glared at the Colonel. 'This is my briefing.' He motioned at Reynolds to begin.

The SG16 leader straightened in his chair. 'We began to set up for the test, following Major Carter's instructions on how to power the weapon. It was just beginning to work when, uh, a man attacked.'

'And by man, you mean the alien?' Simmons slid in smoothly.

'Yes, sir, I, uh, guess I do.' Reynolds cleared his throat. 'He managed to zat Thomas and we were responding when Major Carter arrived.' He pressed his lips together. 'She explained that the man had a good reason to stop the test and we should listen to him. I explained we had already begun the test and the overload was in progress.'

'So it couldn't be stopped.' Daniel realised. He caught Jack's questioning look. 'Oh, the only way for the weapon to fire was to deliberately overload the naquadah generator and transfer the power to the weapon.'

Jack waved Reynolds to continue.

'The, uh, alien realised that if he disconnected the generator from the weapon, it would effectively stop the test and destroy the weapon.' Reynolds said.

'But kill everyone when the generator exploded.' Simmons added.

'I'm not sure the alien knew that we couldn't leave in case the energy transferred through the Stargate.' Reynolds admitted. He looked at Hammond. 'He seemed surprised when Major Carter explained it.' He shifted position in his seat. 'I had shot him when he went to disconnect the generator and he was dying. He, uh, mentioned that the Others were giving him another chance and it was the only way to save Major Carter.' He paused. 'He wanted to save her life.'

Jack dropped his eyes to the briefing room table. The alien had saved Carter; given its life for her.

'And then?' prompted Simmons brusquely.

'He, er, he turned into a white glowing energy being.' Reynolds shook his head in remembered wonder. 'It was…well, it was…incredible.'

Simmons slumped back in his seat.

'The alien took the generator and flew away into the sky. It exploded.' Reynolds concluded. 'Some kind of lightening – maybe feedback from the explosion – struck the weapon and destroyed it.' He raised his hand from the table. 'Major Carter suggested we leave and I agreed.'

'Would you agree that Major Carter and the alien were working together to stop the test?' Simmons asked bluntly.

'You don't get to ask the questions.' Jack snapped angrily.

'I'd like to answer that, sir.' Reynolds looked over at Jack.

There was something in the younger man's dark eyes, a plea for trust maybe? Jack nodded slowly.

Reynolds turned back to Simmons. 'It seemed to me that Major Carter's only aim at all times was the safety of Earth, my team and the alien. I've read the report about SG1's original encounter with one of these aliens on Kheb and if I had known that the test would anger any of them, I would have supported her recommendation that we didn't go ahead.'

'But Major Carter knew and didn't report the full facts.' Simmons said, smiling.

'There may be an explanation for that.' Daniel said, holding up his pen. 'We know these aliens are capable of manipulating minds. One once gave me an entire dream that felt incredibly real…'

'I don't see…' Simmons tried to break in.

'Continue, Doctor Jackson.' Hammond said forcefully, talking over Simmons. His eyes warned Simmons against another interruption.

'The point is,' Daniel said quickly, 'the alien accessed Sam's mind when it reappeared to her after the SGC surveillance was removed.' He fiddled with his glasses. 'It's possible he was able to subconsciously influence Sam's decisions.'

'You don't seriously expect us to believe that?' Simmons responded. 'And besides,' his eyes slid to Jack, 'wouldn't that all rather contradict Colonel O'Neill's assertion that she had his permission unless of course the Colonel has had second thoughts about that?'

Jack opened his mouth to respond…

'Actually, it supports it.' Daniel replied quickly before Jack could get a word out.

Jack looked at him inquisitively. He had no idea how Daniel was going to make the argument work but he had every confidence he would.

'How so, Doctor Jackson?' Hammond asked.

'Look, I think we all agree that Sam is usually a very by the book officer, right?' Daniel didn't wait for agreement. 'She phoned in the minute she encountered the alien the first time. Now if we take that as Sam's usual baseline reaction then her responses afterwards all show she was constrained in some way.' He gestured at Jack with his pen. 'Rather than reporting the alien presence outright, she asks Jack if she should gather intel before coming forward formally again; she tries to get the test stopped without saying exactly why.' He gesticulated wildly. 'I think that proves that Sam was somehow, I don't know, trying to fight the subliminal suggestion that the alien made to keep him secret.'

'If the alien was capable of doing this then why wouldn't he have taken further measures to ensure Major Carter didn't reveal his presence at all.' Simmons countered.

'He cared about her.' Jack replied without thinking but he knew it was the truth as soon as the words left his mouth.

'Jack's right.' Daniel replied evenly. 'The alien obviously had some feelings for Sam. He followed her here from 636, inserted himself into her life. I don't think he wanted to hurt her. Maybe he gave her the suggestion to simply give him enough time with Sam for her to return his feelings.'

'You're clutching at straws.' Simmons said strongly. 'The fact is that Major Carter failed to report the possible danger of the test.'

Jack's eyes narrowed. 'So did you.'

Simmons raised an eyebrow. 'Excuse me?'

'You knew.' Jack pointed his pen at the Pentagon man. 'You read the transcripts, hell you may have even listened into the original conversations.' His eyes glittered dangerously. 'You knew all along about the potential danger to the test team – and maybe even Earth – from the aliens on 636 if we used the weapon.'

Simmons laughed uncomfortably. 'That's…'

'He's right.' Daniel said supportively, gesturing at Simmons. 'You also failed to report that a member of the SGC might have fallen under the influence of an alien entity.'

Simmons looked from Daniel to Jack and back again. He turned to Hammond. 'You can't possibly believe any of this.'

Hammond regarded him with an even blue stare. 'I think Doctor Jackson has provided an entirely plausible explanation for Major Carter's behaviour. As we have no evidence one way or another, I'm inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt especially given Colonel Reynolds's testimony that her aims were to keep everyone safe. She can't be held accountable.' His eyes glittered. 'I think you're done here.'

Simmons stood up and buttoned his jacket. 'This isn't over.' He strode out.

Jack breathed a sigh of relief and threw down his pen.

'Thank you, gentlemen; you're dismissed.' Hammond stood up. 'Colonel O'Neill; a moment, please.'

Jack shook his head at Daniel's silent question on whether he should stay. He watched as his team-mate departed before he followed Hammond into his office. 'General.'

Hammond slipped behind his desk and gestured for Jack to close the door.

Jack followed the implicit order and moved to stand in a loose 'at ease' pose in front of the General's desk. The familiar space with its antique furnishings and Hammond's personal touches that spoke of the General's warm personality didn't bring its usual comfort.

'Off the record, Jack,' Hammond began tiredly, 'you don't believe Doctor Jackson's theory on alien influence, do you?'

He rocked back on his heels as he took in Hammond's knowing look. 'Off the record, sir?' Jack sighed. 'I don't believe it anymore than Simmons.'

Hammond gave a short laugh in agreement before he sobered and leaned back in his chair, the leather squeaking. 'He's a piece of work alright.'

'What's going on with that, sir?' Jack asked bluntly. 'Since when did the Pentagon start spying on us?'

'Since you and the rest of SG1 took out Apophis.' Hammond sighed. 'We may have lost some political ground given he was a major threat and our agreement with the System Lords keeps Earth relatively safe.' He levelled another knowing look at Jack. 'Which is beside the point.'

'Right, sir.' Jack inwardly sighed; he might have known Hammond wouldn't have fallen for his attempt to change the subject.

'You should know that I also don't believe your story either so don't even try to bullshit me that Major Carter had your permission.'

Jack winced and looked down, unable to hold Hammond's pointed gaze.

'What happened, Jack?'

'We made it difficult for Carter to come forward after sending her for the psych eval.' Jack responded honestly. He pulled a face. 'She did talk to me although her suggested approach may have been, possibly, framed as hypothetical.' He grimaced and looked up again. 'I think she had good intentions but got in over her head.'

Hammond nodded sadly.

'And I genuinely believe Carter would have come forward to warn us of the danger before the test, sir, if your original two weeks had stood.' Jack assured him.

'I'd like to think so too.' Hammond said quietly. 'And while I agree we may not have made it easy for her to come forward, there's no getting away from the fact that she showed poor judgement in hiding the alien and trying to go it alone. Protocol dictated that she should have reported it and she should certainly have come forward when she realised the danger with the test.' He sighed. 'Then there's the matter of her following the alien off-world without permission no matter how well-intentioned her motives.'

Hammond waited for Jack to absorb his words before he leaned forward. 'I don't believe her actions warrant a full scale arrest and court martial and if I even hint that the alien influence thing doesn't stand up, Simmons will jump all over it, so I can't reprimand her formally for this.'

'So you want me to informally reprimand her.' Jack realised, his gut twisting.

'Is there a problem with that, Colonel?' Hammond asked evenly.

Jack registered the shift back to formality. 'No, sir.'

'I'll leave it with you then.' Hammond said calmly. 'Dismissed.'

'Sir.' Jack came to attention and left.

He paused in the corridor outside, running his hands through his hair and wondering how the hell he carried out the General's order. He was only too aware of how difficult they had made it for Carter – how difficult he had made it. He sighed and headed for the elevator.

Daniel and Teal'c were both waiting outside of Carter's quarters and he slowed as he saw them.

'Jack.'

'Daniel.'

'O'Neill.'

'Teal'c.'

The three of them looked at each other expectantly.

Jack sighed. 'Why don't you guys head to the mess? Carter and I will join you once we've had a little…talk.'

Daniel started. 'You don't want us to, uh, talk together?'

'Not this time.' Jack said firmly. He took in Daniel's affronted expression. 'Daniel, I have to do…' he struggled for a phrase that would hint at what he needed to do but without telling them the specifics – Carter didn't need everyone knowing she was getting reprimanded. 'CO stuff.' He concluded finally.

Teal'c's hand landed on Daniel's shoulder before the archaeologist could argue. 'We will wait for you in the commissary, O'Neill.' He firmly guided Daniel away and Jack waited until they disappeared from the corridor before he rapped on the door and used his own access card to enter.

Carter was half-way through climbing off the bed. He waved her back onto it and she settled for perching on the side of the bed. He joined her, sitting beside her, careful to keep a foot of distance between them and trying to ignore the evidence that she had been crying.

Jack leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He rubbed the palm of his left hand with the thumb of his right. He noticed that she was hanging onto the edge of the bed with both hands as though it was a high precipice and she was about to fall off. He cleared his throat. 'Simmons left.' He figured he would start on relatively safe ground. 'He won't be arresting you.'

He watched as her blonde head dipped in acknowledgement.

'Daniel claimed you might have been subjected to some kind of subtle alien influence when it did the sharing thing to stop you from reporting its presence again.'

Her head dipped lower and he could see a hint of colour in her cheeks as she registered they all knew about her experience and maybe, he realised, she was considering Daniel's theory on whether the alien had influenced her.

'Of course Simmons didn't believe the whole alien influence thing.' He wet his lips. 'He can't disprove it though.' He linked his hands together loosely. 'What do you think?'

'I don't know.' Sam admitted quietly. 'I don't think he influenced me.'

'So you want to tell me what you think happened?'

For a long moment, he wasn't sure she was going to reply.

'I thought I was doing the right thing, sir.' Sam began tentatively.

He looked at her.

She flushed. 'When I realised it was the same kind of alien as Oma Desala, I didn't want to scare him away. They're so far advanced from us, sir, and I thought there was so much we could learn from him. I really thought if I reported his continued presence then he would just disappear again and everyone would think I was crazy.'

'Which is when you came up with the plan to learn as much as you could before you reported him.'

'But then the weapons test was scheduled and I, I really believed we needed his help especially if the Others of his kind tried to stop us testing the weapon.' Sam sighed. 'He said he had a plan.'

'You trusted him.' Jack realised. He looked away from her.

'Yes.' She was hesitant but her admission was like another sucker-punch.

Jack stared at his hands. She had trusted the alien but she hadn't trusted them.

'I wanted to tell you, sir,' Sam said urgently as though she had heard his thoughts, 'but he asked me for some time and I…'

'You weren't sure I would believe you.' Jack finished, striving to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Sam shrugged awkwardly and averted her gaze. 'I understand. I mean, I'm not sure I would have believed me given the empirical evidence.'

Jack straightened and he waited until she looked at him again. 'Sometimes we screw up.' He said bluntly.

Surprise flickered across Carter's delicate features. Her gaze darted away from the honesty in his.

'And sometimes so do you, Carter.' Jack added evenly.

Her eyes shot back to his. He held her gaze. Finally, she nodded.

'You want to tell me what you should have done differently, Major?' Jack prompted.

'Reported Orlin when he reappeared to me; reported the information he told me about Velona and the weapon immediately.' Sam rubbed her arms.

'And we probably shouldn't have jumped to conclusions that you were crazy just because we didn't see what you did.' Jack finished. 'Although, if you ever scare the hell out of me by running off-world without permission again, I will bust you a rank.'

She winced at his tone but her eyes shone with understanding.

Jack pulled a face. 'Look, things turned out OK, so' he waved a hand at her, 'let's learn from it and move on.'

Sam nodded. 'I just wish Orlin hadn't sacrificed his life to save…' she stopped abruptly and he detected the sheen of tears before she looked away.

To save her. Jack knew how the alien – Orlin – had felt. He would have done the same thing in Orlin's place and he was sure Orlin had believed the sacrifice worth it. Not that he could say that to Carter. He wet his lips, unsure how to respond. He could see she was genuinely grieving alongside her evident guilt and self-blame at what had happened to Orlin. He didn't know how to comfort her; wasn't even certain whether it was appropriate he should be comforting her at all given their screwed up feelings.

Jack searched for safe ground. 'Simmons has them removing the Stargate from your house.'

It took her a moment to assimilate what he'd said. She sniffed and looked back at him. 'Is my house…is it badly damaged?'

'Some surface damage.' Jack shrugged lightly. He reached over and touched her arm, unable to stop himself offering some small comfort. 'We'll fix it.'

She looked away and Jack had the sudden notion they weren't talking about the house at all.

Jack removed his hand and tapped his knee. 'Daniel and Teal'c are waiting for us. How about we grab them and head to my place for pizza and movie while we wait for the teams to clear your house?'

She shook her head. 'Thank you, sir. But I'm not the best company right now.'

'Consider it an order, Carter.' Jack said firmly. He might not be able to comfort her directly but he was damned if he was leaving her alone; he'd been doing too much of that lately.

There was a flash of something in her eyes but she nodded.

'Sir,' Sam said hesitantly, 'I just want to say I'm sorry.' Her lips twisted wryly. 'About everything. I hope I'll be able to rebuild your trust in me.'

'I trust you.' Jack replied immediately. She blinked as though surprised. He wondered if he should say something more but he had no idea what else he could say and he didn't want to ask if she still trusted him; he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. He sighed. 'Come on.'

He stood up. He held out a hand and helped her to her feet. He squeezed her hand gently before he let go of her reluctantly.

'You know who I definitely don't trust?' Jack commented, as they headed for the door.

'Simmons.' Sam replied dryly.

'Got it in one.'

'You think he's going to cause us trouble, sir?'

'Let's just say I'm suddenly missing Maybourne.' He quipped, opening the door and waving her through it. Maybe the trust between them was a little damaged but they'd fix it, and he figured they were going to have to fix it fast because he had a bad feeling they hadn't heard the last of Simmons.


	4. A Record to Stand By

**Author's Note:** Jack/team friendship. Mild Sam/Jack UST.

**The Fifth Man Recap:** _SG1 are under heavy fire; Jack is cut off from the gate with a young African-American lieutenant called Tyler who has been injured and he orders Sam, Daniel and Teal'c who have managed to get to the gate to get reinforcements. The three return to the SGC where they inform General Hammond that Jack and Tyler are cut off from the gate and they need to return immediately. Hammond asks them who Tyler is. They remind him that Tyler is the fifth member of SG1, recently assigned and someone they have been training over the past few weeks. Hammond denies all knowledge of Tyler and tells the team to report to the infirmary. They insist on being allowed to go back for Jack but Hammond orders them to relinquish their weapons and under threat of being fired on by the gate room SFs they comply. Jack, meanwhile, manages to get himself and Tyler to an old ruin which they can defend._

_Janet informs Hammond that there is nothing wrong with Sam, Daniel and Teal'c but she's waiting on some tests. She asks what Hammond is doing about Jack and he informs her that until they know why SG1 has been compromised he can't send anyone else to the planet. In the infirmary, Sam, Daniel and Teal'c discuss the various reasons why nobody remembers Tyler and they realise that perhaps their memories are at fault. Sam hacks into the main computer and learns there is no Lt. Tyler. She also finds evidence that someone is investigating the team from outside the base._

_Hammond manages to contact Jack via a UAV but when Jack mentions Tyler, he realises the Colonel is also suffering from whatever has affected the others. Colonel Simmons turns up; he has been ordered to perform an independent investigation on the Tyler issue. _

_When Janet examines a strange substance on Teal'c's jacket, she gets a flash of Tyler and she works out that the memory of Tyler is some kind of subliminal suggestion caused by or made possible by the chemical. Sam encourages her to find the evidence to support her theory noting that only Janet is free to find it and she may be Jack's last hope. As Jack and Tyler bond on the planet; the other members of SG1 undergo interrogation by Simmons. They all hold their own; Sam correctly deduces that Simmons is the mysterious computer user who has been investigating them. Janet presents her evidence and while Simmons considers her compromised, Hammond believes her. _

_On the planet, Tyler has revealed his true nature to Jack after feeling guilty at putting the other man in danger – his race, the Reole has been hunted for their unique ability. The Jaffa attack and just as they are surrounded, the rest of SG1 show up. The team head to the gate but the Jaffa are everywhere. As Jack, Sam and Teal'c go to get more firepower, Tyler zats Daniel and runs off. He tries to be a hero – leading the Jaffa away from the gate to enable SG1 to escape. He is captured but SG1 rescue him. As Tyler leaves, Jack tells him that before the Reole bury their gate and disappear, that they could be friends. _

**A Record to Stand By**

Jack O'Neill watched the wormhole blink out with an inward sigh of relief. He liked Tyler, he did. As weird aliens went, Tyler was a stand-up guy – if Jack ignored the whole initial 'let me trick you into thinking I'm a member of your team' business – but hunkered down with Tyler and surrounded by a hostile enemy wasn't his first choice of how to spend a night.

He was tired; he was hungry. All he wanted was a hot shower, a hot toddy and…his brown eyes slid to Samantha Carter and he cut _that_ thought off in its infancy. He was supposed to be moving on, he reminded himself; professional thoughts only. 'Let's go home.' He said sharply.

Carter nodded and headed back toward the DHD. She began competently pressing the symbols and Jack turned back to the Stargate impatiently.

Daniel Jackson walked over to him and cleared his throat. 'Jack, before we head back, I think there's something you should know.'

Jack raised a scarred eyebrow. Daniel wore his earnest face which meant trouble. 'Oh?'

'Daniel.' Sam cut in, drawing both their attention. 'I thought we agreed we'd wait until we get home before we told the Colonel.' Her blue eyes were on the archaeologist.

'I didn't agree.' Daniel retorted.

'Agree what?' Jack asked, looking between the two fascinated. It wasn't often they disagreed on something. Well, something real; God knew the two could carry on a debate about theoretical scientific mumbo-jumbo crap for years if left to their own devices.

'Indeed, you did agree, Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c interrupted. He moved to stand alongside the archaeologist as the wormhole blossomed in front of them.

'What?' Jack repeated. 'Tell me what?'

'OK, so I may have agreed back then,' Daniel argued quickly, waving a hand wildly, 'but that was when we thought we would be running through the Stargate chased by a platoon of Jaffa. Don't you think we should tell him now?'

Sam glanced at Teal'c who raised an eyebrow.

'Daniel Jackson is correct.' Teal'c said firmly. 'It may be best to tell O'Neill now.' He looked around at the empty clearing as though to emphasise their secure position.

'OK,' Jack said loudly, 'I'm only going to say this once,' he waited until they were all looking at him, 'tell me what?'

'Sir, I've sent the IDC and…'

He could see more arguments against telling him lined up in her blue eyes. 'Carter, just tell me; that's an order!' He felt a momentary pang of guilt as she flinched at the anger in his voice but, damn it, he was cold, he was tired and he wanted to get the hell off the rock he'd been stuck on for the best part of two days.

Carter snapped to an almost military 'at attention' position. 'Colonel Simmons was brought into investigate why we claimed Tyler was a member of the SGC and nobody else had heard of him.'

'That's why we were delayed coming back.' Daniel added. He folded his arms around his torso. 'Simmons questioned us.'

Jack looked back at Carter who nodded.

'I would say he's been investigating us for a while, sir.' She raised a hand from her weapon. 'He's been into our personnel files, our mission reports, everything.'

Jack raised a finger. 'Let me get this straight,' his brown eyes hardened with anger, 'I almost died out here because Simmons was investigating my team?' He was yelling, he realised dimly.

His three team-mates looked at each other.

Jack ignored the waiting wormhole. 'What the hell happened?'

Teal'c and Daniel exchanged a look and both turned simultaneously to Carter. She glared at them.

'Carter?' Jack prompted pointedly.

Sam cleared her throat. 'Well, sir, General Hammond restricted us to the infirmary when we arrived because we mentioned Lieutenant Tyler and, obviously, there is no Tyler, I mean at the SGC.'

'General Hammond was concerned we had been compromised.' Teal'c added.

Jack could imagine Hammond's reaction. They'd only just got past Carter being followed home by an invisible alien. Hammond must have had a conniption fit at the idea that all of SG1 suddenly had an imaginary friend.

'We, uh, accessed the mainframe to verify Tyler's existence and realised someone had been spying on us.' Sam completed. 'When Simmons turned up and started questioning us, we put the rest together.'

'He thinks we're a liability.' Daniel said bitterly. His arms were tightly crossed over his chest. His blue eyes shone with suppressed hurt behind the panes of glass. 'Apparently, because my wife and my ex-girlfriend have both been taken as hosts, I love the Goa'uld.' He nodded at Teal'c. 'He thinks Teal'c is a traitor and Sam,' his lips twisted, 'well, she harbours the wrong kind of illegal alien.'

Jack refused to look at Carter. He had managed in the weeks since they had helped her repair the damage done to her house following the incident with said illegal alien to push the whole thing to the back of his mind. Carter had broken protocol to hide the alien in her home; had cared for the alien and, even though she'd had good reason not to come forward given everybody's belief, including Jack's, that she was simply suffering some kind of break-down from exhaustion, the whole thing had left them with some trust issues Jack still wasn't certain they had fixed.

They'd put it behind them, he reminded himself. Carter had tacitly forgiven them all and recognised her own mistakes and he'd tried to forgive himself and recognise his. Still, there was no denying the fact that she had been nothing but completely professional with him since and he had responded in kind. There was no sign of their previous inappropriate feelings and he was more convinced than ever she had moved on. He had known given the opportunity she would; Carter was young, beautiful and intelligent. She could do a lot better than a beaten-up old soldier like himself. If the incident with the computer entity had started them putting distance between them, he was certain the incident with the house alien had added a rift the size of the Grand Canyon. He was even beginning to wonder if their friendship had been destroyed in the whole debacle along with the rest of Carter's personal feelings for him; it seemed a miracle their professional relationship had survived.

'We were all questioned, sir.' Sam said evenly. 'If it hadn't been for Doctor Fraiser working out that Tyler was only a suggestion created by the effects of the chemical substance she found on Teal'c's jacket, we wouldn't have made it back in time.'

He could remember the moment they had made it back to pull his ass out of the fire with clarity. He'd been a second away from a staff blast that would have killed him. His jaw tensed as he considered what to say to them. What could he say to them?

'General Hammond believed Doctor Fraiser's analysis in spite of Colonel Simmons's scepticism.' Sam said quietly.

Jack nodded jerkily. He was angry at his CO; angry that Hammond had allowed the investigation, angry that he'd allowed SG1 to be questioned by Simmons, even though he knew Hammond had probably done all he could to prevent both.

'Sir,' Sam gestured at the open wormhole, 'we should…'

'Carter.' He cut her off and grimaced apologetically. He looked at the shimmering blue puddle and sighed heavily. 'Move out.' He gestured at Carter and Teal'c. They moved forward and disappeared.

Daniel fell into step beside him. 'What are you going to do?'

'I don't know, Daniel.' Jack admitted tightly. 'I don't know.' He stepped into the wormhole.

The first few seconds on the other side were always disorienting; cold replaced by warmth, sensory deprivation by sensory assault. Jack regained his balance. His hand went up to sweep the black woollen hat from his head as he stomped down the metal ramp towards his waiting CO. The wormhole disappeared behind him and the iris closed with a snick of metal against metal.

Hammond smiled at him with relief. 'It's good to see you, Colonel.'

The General's warmth and sincerity killed the reply that Jack had readied. 'It's good to be back.' Jack answered evenly instead. He held Hammond's pale blue eyes. 'I'd like a word, General. In private.' There was a hint of anger in the carefully worded request.

The other man nodded understandingly as though he had expected as much. He stepped back and gestured at the open door. 'My office, Colonel.'

Jack turned to his team-mates. 'Head to the infirmary and get checked out.' He held up a finger when Daniel opened his mouth to protest.

'Yes, sir.' Sam's agreement reassured him and he followed Hammond out of the gate room without another look at his team. He trusted Carter to see that Daniel and Teal'c followed his order as much as they might want to disagree with it.

Jack took the stairs swiftly, ignoring how his bad knees protested. He and Hammond didn't speak until the office door was closed behind them.

'Have a seat, Colonel.' Hammond invited as he sat down in the leather chair behind his desk.

'With all due respect, sir,' Jack said tersely, refusing the offer to sit and standing with his hands behind his back, black beanie hat clutched in his angry grip, 'you want to tell me what the hell is going on and why my team was questioned without my knowledge and in my absence?' His eyes flashed with the anger he had been keeping at bay.

Hammond sighed. 'Colonel…'

'And while we're at it, you want to explain to me why my team's loyalties are getting questioned after everything they've done? After all the sacrifices they've made?' Each word was coated with his rage at Simmons daring to question his team. 'Or does the fact that they've been responsible for saving the world on more than one occasion no longer count for anything?'

'Sit down, Colonel.'

'I will not have my team…'

'Colonel!' Hammond snapped out angrily stopping Jack mid-tirade. The General's pale blue eyes met Jack's forcefully. 'Sit down.'

Jack thought about disobeying the command; could see Hammond register that he had thought about disobeying the command. He wrestled with the very real urge to disobey the command before he dropped into a visitor's chair with the air of a sulking teenager.

Hammond leaned forward. He clasped his hands together and rested them on top of the folder on his desk. 'You think I'm not angry about this?' There was enough heat in the pale blue eyes to convince Jack that Hammond was as pissed off as he was. 'You think I enjoy having the Pentagon send someone like Simmons to investigate my people?' His face was red and his finger stabbed the desk with each question. 'You think I liked leaving an officer without reinforcements? Or like having the integrity of my people questioned?'

Jack shifted position in the chair and fidgeted with the beanie hat. 'No, sir.'

'You're damned right, 'no, sir!'' Hammond shot back. He took a breath and seemed to collect himself.

There was a moment of silence.

'He's not after your team specifically, Jack.' Hammond said finally. 'He's after the SGC.' He gave a wry, humourless smile. 'Your team are just a handy target.'

'You'll forgive me if I don't consider that comforting.' Jack retorted.

Hammond nodded in agreement and leaned back. 'I made some calls.'

'And?' Jack asked, taking in Hammond's unhappy expression. 'I take it, it wasn't good news?'

Hammond nodded. He folded his hands over his stomach, creasing the shirt he wore. 'I got stonewalled by most of my contacts.'

Jack's heart plummeted. Stonewalled wasn't good. It suggested that something was going on; some political plot that threatened the safety of the SGC.

'The President wouldn't take my call.' Hammond continued. His eyes drifted to the red phone. 'He was unavailable the whole time Simmons was here.'

'You think he gave the order?' Jack questioned. The President was usually supportive of the SGC. If he had begun to question their methods and operation then they were seriously in trouble.

'Unknown.' Hammond admitted. He looked across his desk, his expression troubled. 'He may not have given the order but given the tone of some of the conversations I've had with my other contacts, I suspect that he agreed to be unavailable.'

Jack made a face at the distinction. Politicians. They were all the same; looking out for number one. The General looked as tired as Jack felt, he realised with a twinge of conscience for yelling at the older man. It occurred to him that he and Hammond had been in similar positions during the past twenty-four hours; under siege. His voice was devoid with anger when he spoke again. 'Anyone give you anything?'

'Not much.' Hammond sighed heavily. 'We may suspect where Simmons is getting his orders but proving it?' He shook his head. He tapped the desk lightly.

'Kinsey.' Jack stated. His jaw clenched. He should have just shot the bastard when he'd had the chance.

'We're almost half way through the President's second term in office, Jack. You and I both know he's entering his lame duck phase and he needs Senate support. Kinsey has that.' Hammond gave a huff of annoyance. 'Not to mention that Kinsey looks like he'll secure his party's candidacy for President in the next election.' He pulled a face. 'Simmons mentioned that governments change; I don't believe it was an idle comment.'

Jack sighed. 'Kinsey's building a case to gain control of the SGC.'

'Sooner or later, he'll make his move,' Hammond agreed, 'but he's good, Jack. This investigation, and the one into Major Carter a few weeks ago? We can't trace them back to him.'

'And because of that we can't use the evidence we have against him to discredit him.' Jack frowned and gestured with his hat. 'So, what do we do?'

'We continue as usual.' Hammond said authoratively. 'I'll stand by the record of this command.'

Jack nodded. He cleared his throat awkwardly. 'General, about my yelling before…'

Hammond's pale eyebrows rose and his face took on an amused expectant look.

'I just want to, uh,' Jack raised his hat, 'just, well, apologise. For…' he gestured, 'that.'

'Apology accepted.' Hammond said wryly. 'You've had a difficult couple of days. I take it the alien situation was contained?'

'Actually, sir, Tyler revealed he was an alien to me before the team showed up and then he tried to save our lives. His race, the Reole, could be a valuable ally given their abilities. He said he would discuss it with them.'

Hammond motioned at the door. 'Very well. Get yourself to the infirmary. SG1 is dismissed for the rest of the day. We'll have a full debrief in the morning; oh-seven-hundred.'

Jack accepted the dismissal with relief. 'Thank you, sir.' Jack pushed himself out of the chair and left the General's office.

He made his way to the infirmary. His team were waiting for him in the corridor and he pushed his tiredness away. They were owed an explanation but the SGC wasn't the place.

'You all checked out?' He asked briskly.

'Yes, sir.' Carter answered.

'Debrief is tomorrow morning and we're dismissed for the rest of the day. We'll meet in the park outside Carter's in two hours.' Jack ordered.

They nodded at his order. He watched them walk away before he turned into the examination room and made his way to a spare bed. He slumped on it and rubbed his hands over his face. He resisted the urge to curl up on top of the covers and sleep. Three hours and he had a hot date with his bed, he promised himself.

The sharp click of heels on the linoleum had him raising his head to smile wearily at the approaching CMO.

'Doc.'

'Colonel.' Janet snapped on latex gloves and reached for his neck.

He waited until she was done with the exam before he spoke. 'I hear I owe you a thank you.' Jack said as she made a note on the clipboard and absently instructed the nurse with her to take blood.

Janet looked up from her scribbles. 'Actually, sir,' her hands tightened on her clipboard, 'you have Major Carter to thank.'

Jack's eyes widened. 'Carter?'

'She was the one who convinced me to work out why I suddenly knew Tyler before I informed General Hammond that I had been exposed.' Janet explained, turning away and placing the clipboard on a side table. 'She really went to bat for you, sir.'

Jack looked down at the floor to hide how much that meant to him. No doubt Carter's concern had been professional, Jack reminded himself briskly; they never left a man behind. That was probably the reason why she had convinced Fraiser.

Janet readied an injection and Jack slid off the bed and loosened his pants so she could jab it into his hip. He flinched as the needle pierced him.

'How's Cassie?' Jack asked as he fastened his clothing. Fraiser's adopted alien daughter had been causing her some trouble – usual teenage rebellion stuff as far as he could make out.

'Grounded again.' Janet said as she made another notation on the ubiquitous clipboard. She looked up with rueful brown eyes. 'Teenagers.'

'You want me to have a word.' Jack offered. He shrugged at her questioning look. 'Hammond's given us the rest of the day.'

'Thank you.' Janet smiled. 'But I think Cassie and I need to work it out.' She gestured. 'And you need to rest. If you head down for your MRI, I'll get the results ready so you can leave asap.'

'Thanks, Doc.' Jack picked up his jacket and made his way out.

An hour later, he was cleared to leave. He showered, changed and headed out, checking briefly with security to confirm that the others were out of the mountain. He was grateful for the time alone in his truck. He had no real idea what he was going to say to them. If he was honest he had spent a large amount of the time on the planet wondering why the hell they hadn't returned, alternating between anger and worry. He had been incredibly relieved when they'd turned up. He couldn't pretend that he didn't understand why Hammond had confined them to the infirmary when they'd reported a non-existent team-mate. He would have done the same. He was just relieved Carter had talked Fraiser into determining the truth and that Hammond had taken the leap of faith required to send SG1 back to the planet.

He pulled into the parking area by the park's entrance and got out unhurriedly. He strode confidently into the park. It was cold and he was grateful for the heavy leather jacket he wore and the thick denim jeans. He was so having that hot toddy when he got home.

He spotted the rest of his team easily enough. They were huddled on a bench in the centre of the park. He walked over to join them, ignoring the wide expanse of green grass and trees. Teal'c sported a bright yellow puff parka and sweat pants that stood out a mile; a matching woolly hat completed the ensemble. The others seemed conservative in comparison; Daniel had opted for a blue winter jacket with his jeans and Sam's outfit was a feminine version of his own; leather jacket over denim jeans.

They all clutched polystyrene cups that were steaming with some hot liquid. Jack had barely reached them when Daniel bundled one into his hands. Jack opened the plastic lid and took a cautious sip; coffee – or something purporting to be coffee. He pulled a face but took another sip. He gestured at them and they silently shuffled into new positions; Teal'c moved to anchor the right side of the bench, Daniel moved to the left, shifting to sit on the arm of the bench with his feet up on the seat. Sam climbed up to sit on the back of the bench with her feet resting on the seat. Jack hesitated and stepped up onto the bench to sit beside her.

'Well?' Daniel asked impatiently.

Jack scratched a line into the polystyrene he held and looked into the distance at the empty swings. 'Hammond thinks the investigation was politically motivated.'

'We worked that much out for ourselves.' Daniel muttered.

Jack glared at him. 'They're not after us, specifically.'

'The SGC.' Sam said calmly.

Jack nodded. 'I think we can all guess who's behind this.'

'Senator Kinsey.' Teal'c murmured.

'There's no way to prove it though.' Jack sipped his drink. He glanced at Carter. 'Unless you found something in the computer?'

She shook her blonde head regretfully. 'Nothing. I might be able to trace Simmons's access but trying to establish a link between him and Kinsey or any remaining rogue element within the NID would be difficult.'

'So where does this leave us?' Daniel asked bluntly.

'Watching our six and being careful.' Jack shot back. He looked around the three of them. 'Look, this isn't personal…'

'It felt personal to me.' Daniel responded hotly.

'And to me.' Teal'c agreed with the archaeologist. His furious glower spoke of how angry the Jaffa was at the memory of his interrogation.

'We're just the most visible target.' Jack argued. 'That's it.'

'Really?' Daniel drawled tightly. 'I take it you haven't considered that they chose this particular situation to investigate,' he raised his free hand and mimed quotation marks, 'because it allowed them to effectively kill you without firing a bullet?'

Jack swallowed the angry retort he'd been about to make; he hadn't considered it but it made perfect sense.

'They knew you were off-world in a hostile situation, sir.' Sam said quietly. 'All they had to do was delay your rescue.'

He looked away back to the swings. They had almost succeeded in killing him too, he thought angrily. If his team had turned up even a second later…he took a deep breath and took a gulp of his coffee. Kinsey didn't like him so no real surprise. 'OK,' he said, making a face, 'maybe it's a little personal.'

'But we can't let it be.' Sam said softly.

His eyes snapped to her; she was staring at the contents of her polystyrene cup. 'That's right.' He agreed gruffly. He shifted his gaze to Daniel. 'This is politics. If we let them get to us, they've won.'

'Yeah, well.' Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose. 'You have to admit, Jack, it's not easy. I mean, we're out there risking our lives and trying to make a difference and for what? For some petty-minded bureaucrat to try and kill us to win points in some political power-game?'

'I'm not saying it's fair, Daniel.' Jack said trying to comfort the other man. Teal'c was used to Goa'uld politics never mind human and Jack was confident that he'd get past it – so would Carter. He figured she'd already gone through it with the whole alien in her house business. But Daniel was the most sensitive and Simmons had evidently hit him where it most hurt. 'It's just the way it is.'

The yawn caught him off-guard and he raised a fist to cover his mouth. He shook himself a little and found the others looking back at him with varying looks of concern.

Sam bit her lip. 'You should go home and rest, sir.'

'Sam's right.' Daniel gestured at him. 'You look exhausted.'

Jack looked around his team and nodded slowly. 'Debrief's at oh-seven-hundred tomorrow.'

They stood up. Daniel jumped down and held his hand out for Sam who took it with a grateful smile as she stepped off the bench. Jack winced as his knees took the impact as he did the same. He said goodbye to them in the parking area.

He drove home and all but stumbled into his house. He threw the locks and headed straight for the bedroom. He kicked off his boots and shrugged out of the leather jacket, throwing it haphazardly onto a nearby chair. He didn't bother undressing as he crawled onto the coverlet and closed his eyes.

o-O-o

Hammond wasn't surprised that Jack was the last one of his team to the briefing room table the next morning. He watched through the internal window as Jack slid into a seat next to Major Carter and gave a nod of acknowledgement to his team. The Colonel still looked exhausted. Hammond felt another pang of guilt at having let the man without back-up for so long. It had been the right decision; he knew that. They'd had no idea what Tyler was, whether he was a threat. He couldn't have sent anyone under those circumstances. At least, his head knew it but his heart was another matter altogether.

He pushed the thought away and made his way into the briefing room. As he expected Major Carter sprang to her feet immediately and a beat later, the Colonel followed her. Hammond took his seat and gestured for them to sit back down.

'Colonel,' Hammond turned to Jack first, 'the rest of SG1 have already given their reports of the events leading to their return, perhaps you could start there and once we're caught up, we'll cover the rescue yesterday.'

'Yes, sir.' Jack cleared his throat. 'Well, as you know, the MALP showed no sign of any Jaffa when we gated to the planet the day before yesterday…'

Sirens cut across his words, blaring through the base.

'Unscheduled off-world authorisation.'

Hammond was out of his chair and down the stairs immediately, SG1 at his heels. He absently noted how one of the technicians moved promptly to allow Sam to sit down.

'We're not receiving IDC, sir, but we are receiving some kind of radio transmission.' Sam frowned.

An instant later, crackling static came out of the speakers.

'Sounds like my cable.' Jack quipped as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

'Trying to clean it up now, sir.' Sam said calmly. Her finger flew over the keyboard.

'Colonel O'Neill?' The voice came through loud and clear.

Jack stepped up to the mike, a smile starting on his face. 'Tyler? Good to hear from you.'

'I have told my people of how you saved my life. We would like to visit and discuss the possibility of an alliance.'

Jack switched the mike off and turned back to Hammond for permission.

'Do they pose a threat?' Hammond asked briskly.

'No, sir.' Jack responded quickly. 'Their ability is purely defensive.'

Hammond nodded and gestured at Jack to answer the request.

'Sure. We'd be pleased to have you visit.' Jack replied cheerfully. 'We're opening our iris.'

The iris opened and Hammond gestured for the Colonel to precede him down the stairs and into the gate room. The rest of SG1 followed. They were all waiting at the end of the ramp when three aliens walked through the blue puddle.

Hammond blanched at the odd looking aliens looking back at him. They were almost skeletal in appearance; grey, thin; dreadlock-like hair. He shivered and let Jack take the lead. The Colonel took a confident step forward. Hammond didn't know what surprised him more; that the lead alien saluted or that the Colonel returned the salute before breaking into a huge smile.

'Colonel O'Neill.' The alien grinned at the Colonel and Hammond clamped down on the urge to recoil.

'Tyler.' Jack gestured at Hammond. 'Let me introduce you to the leader of this base, General Hammond.'

'Pleased to meet you.' Hammond bowed his head a fraction and Tyler responded in kind.

'I am pleased to meet you, General.' Tyler indicated the two other aliens with him. 'Our representatives, Kay-yah-ee and Kya-aha-ea.'

Hammond bowed his head. 'Welcome to Earth.'

'The one you know as Tyler has spoken most highly of you and your people, General.' Kay-yah-ee said bowing deeply.

Hammond ignored his instinctive abhorrence and nodded sharply. 'I believe Tyler has also impressed my people. We're very happy to discuss the possibility of an alliance with you.' He swept his arm toward the door. 'Please. Come this way.'

The next couple of hours flew by. The discussions with the Reole progressed well. Once he got past their strange appearances, Hammond had enjoyed their company. They were a peaceful, friendly race. Their appreciation for how the Colonel and SG1 had come through for Tyler even once the truth of Tyler's nature had been known was very evident. A deal was struck quite quickly and Hammond was smiling as he returned to his office and picked up the red phone.

Ten minutes later, he waved Jack into the room as the call with the President concluded.

'Yes, Mister President.' Hammond agreed as Jack moved to hover in front of him. 'We'll need to fully research the practical applications for the substance more fully but if we can get it to work, well, I don't need to tell you how valuable being able to convince someone you're actually someone else will be to our covert work.' He pursed his lips. 'Yes, sir. I agree; we'll need to contact the Tok'ra on this one.'

He ignored the disgust that crept across Jack's face.

'Thank you, sir. I'll be sure to let them know. Goodbye, sir.' Hammond placed the receiver in the cradle and sat down in his chair.

'Good call, sir?' Jack asked tentatively.

'Very good call.' Hammond smiled. 'The agreement with the Reole has managed to swing things back in our favour.'

'Excellent news.' Jack remarked. He couldn't quite hide the sceptical note in his voice and Hammond's smile widened.

'At least for now.' Hammond qualified. 'It's a good, solid success, Jack.' He leaned back. 'It means Simmons's findings won't be taken seriously at this point.' He gestured at Jack. 'Get Major Carter to send a message to the Tok'ra. We need to bring them up to date.'

'Do we have to?' Jack asked with a sigh.

Hammond shot him a reproachful look.

'Right.' Jack made towards the door.

'Oh, and Colonel?' Hammond smiled at him as Jack paused in the doorway. 'Good job.'

Jack's eyes warmed with the praise. 'Thank you, sir.'

Hammond turned back to the stack of work on his desk that had accumulated with the unexpected meeting with the Reole. It was worth it though. As he had said to Jack, the alliance with the Reole would mean Simmons's investigation would be dismissed and the SGC would be back in favour. And it was thanks to SG1 doing what they always did. Hammond reached for the first folder confidently. He'd stand by the record of his people: he'd stand by the record of SG1.


	5. Light Shifts to Dark

**Author's Note:** Sam/Janet friendship. Daniel/Janet friendship. Jack/Daniel friendship. Mild Sam/Jack UST.

**Red Sky Recap:** _SG1 arrive on the planet of K'Tau, having had a very rough wormhole trip. Realising from the runes on a nearby marker, Daniel determines that it is an Asgard protected planet. They meet with the local people and head into the village. As they arrive, the light shifts to an infrared spectrum. As one of the villagers, Malchus, blames SG1, Jack asks Sam if it is their fault and she starts to run tests. When the villagers go to their Hall of Wisdom, Daniel and Jack go with them hoping that they will be able to contact the Asgard. They quickly realise the villagers usually speak with a recording. As they leave the church again, they meet up with Sam who informs them it is their fault – their wormhole intersected with the K'Tau sun and poisoned it with an unstable super-heavy element. They go back to the Hall and manage to speak directly to Freyr and to the Asgard Council. But the Asgard refuse to help stating that to do so would be in violation of their Protected Planets treaty with the Goa'uld – it would put all the protected planets at risk including Earth. As they leave, Sam comes up with a solution – send a stable super-heavy element into the sun to counteract the poisoning. _

_Three weeks later, the rocket which will deliver the super-heavy element is almost ready and they've secured the super-heavy element they need. Sam goes back to the planet with it but on her arrival, the rocket blows up. Malchus is responsible and Jack is furious having lost two men in the explosion. He attacks Malchus and is only talked out of killing him by the others. He insists that they should leave but SG1 manage to convince him to try another way – Daniel tries to convince the K'Tau people that they should relocate but they refuse and when Jack tries to tell them the truth about the Asgard, they walk away in disgust. Jack leaves._

_Back at the SGC, Sam comes up with another method of delivering the super-heavy element; through the wormhole with a deliberate shutdown when it reaches the sun. They enact the plan and go back to the planet. The sun is still poisoned and Sam says that it looks like it hasn't worked. Daniel says goodbye and murmurs a prayer to Freyr. As he leaves the prayer circle, the sun reverts to its normal light frequency. The planet is saved. Sam says she doesn't think they were responsible and Jack suggests that it was the Asgard doing it covertly – a loophole in the treaty. As Daniel comments that they will never know, the K'Tau people rejoice. _

**Light Shifts to Dark **

Water sluiced over her body as she lowered herself into the waiting bath. Bubbles wobbled and gave way as she settled. Samantha Carter gave a sigh and wriggled her shoulders as she found the elusive comfortable position for her head and neck. She wished for a moment she had remembered to prop a towel on the edge of the bath. She debated briefly whether she should get out and grab one before the soothing warmth of the water around her decided her against the idea.

She let a hand drift across the surface, rearranging the bubbles until there wasn't a patch of her own skin showing. Her eyes closed and she gave a murmur of pleasure as her muscles relaxed. She breathed in the steam and the scent of lavender that permeated the air. She had needed this, Sam mused as she moved and the water sloshed around her neck, dampening the tips of her blonde hair.

It had been a hard month; constant, non-stop work trying to undo their mistake on the planet of K'Tau. Her mistake. Sam moved restlessly and the water moved with her, rippling over her. She opened her eyes and stared at her bathroom ceiling. She could remember clearly the moment she had almost destroyed the planet; it was etched in her mind in graphic technicolour…

_Three members of SG1 were standing in the gate room as the Stargate dialled, spinning around, the metal grinding loudly. Teal'c stood unmoving; she tried to emulate him but found her fingers nervously adjusting the strap on her vest. Their team leader wasn't even attempting stillness; he was rocking back and forth on his heels, his brown eyes pinned on the gate room door impatiently. He glanced at his watch and back at the gate. Sam hid a smile. She knew if the fourth member of their team Daniel Jackson didn't show up soon, the archaeologist was in for an earful. The Colonel's tolerance for stuff like lateness seemed to be at an all time low. _

_Sam tried to squelch the thought that his mood was her fault. It had been weeks since the incident where she had hidden an Ascended alien called Orlin in her home. She knew she had disappointed her CO by not confiding in him and SG1. There were mitigating factors such the Colonel confirming everyone thought she was nuts because Orlin had originally been invisible and nobody had believed her first report but she knew some of the reasons for continuing to hide Orlin had less to do with that and everything to do with her messed up emotions._

_Her eyes flickered to Jack before she hurriedly averted her gaze. If ever she had wondered why the fraternisation regulations existed, she had definitely learnt her lesson. She had fallen in love with her CO and, for a time, she knew he had felt the same way. But after he had believed he had killed her when she had been possessed by a computer entity, Jack had reverted to a completely professional relationship, and while she couldn't blame him, it had hurt - badly. Orlin had loved her and even though she hadn't returned his feelings, she couldn't deny that it had been nice to be wanted and admired openly; to soothe that hurt. Only her indulgence had led to SG16 and Earth being in danger, and that just wasn't acceptable._

_Sam had attempted to be completely professional since the incident – at least with the Colonel. Despite his reassurance that he trusted her, and his behaviour certainly supported his assertion, she couldn't help but feel the need to prove herself again to him. And maybe, if she followed his lead and tried to move on from their personal feelings, it would help prevent her screwing up professionally. She made a face. Of course, her slightly less than professional behaviour after their last mission was simply down to the close bonds all of SG1 shared. Teal'c and Daniel had been as equally upset as she had been at being refused to help the Colonel after they had left him behind to get reinforcements because no one but them had knowledge of Tyler, the young Lieutenant they had left with the Colonel. It had turned out that Tyler was in fact an alien with an ability to implant the suggestion that he was someone else through a chemical substance his race produced naturally. They had rescued the Colonel only to find Tyler had already confessed his deception._

_Daniel ran into the gate room just as the sixth chevron lit up and Sam half heard his muttered apology and the Colonel's sharp rejoinder as she dragged her mind back to the mission. The gate spun to the last chevron and…nothing happened._

'_Carter?' The Colonel jerked his head at the door and Sam followed the unspoken order to find out what had gone wrong and fix it. She ran up to the control room._

_Sergeant Harriman made way for her at his terminal. 'It won't lock, Major.'_

_Sam brought up the diagnostic. She bit her lip. 'Did this happen when the MALP was sent earlier?'_

'_No, Major. Everything was completely normal.' Walter assured her._

_She glanced through the information._

'_What's going on, Major?' General Hammond asked, appearing beside her. _

'_We're having trouble establishing a lock, sir.' Sam looked up at him. 'We're going to have to bypass some of the protocols.'_

'_Do it.' Hammond agreed gruffly. _

_Sam inputted the commands, pressing the enter button to begin the dialling sequence. The gate began spinning. She left with a nod of approval from the General, and a few minutes later, she was walking up the ramp and into the waiting wormhole…_

Apart from the rough trip, everything had seemed normal and they had quickly worked out that the planet was under the protection of the Asgard Freyr. But it hadn't taken long for everything to go wrong; the light spectrum suddenly shifting thanks to their wormhole poisoning the K'Tau's sun with an unstable super-heavy element. The change would inevitably lead to the plant life dying and ultimately, the K'Tau people. SG1 had contacted the Asgard and informed their allies of what had happened but the Asgard were unable to fix it claiming that any overt help would violate the Protected Planets treaty they had with the Goa'uld. It had irritated the Colonel and it had left Earth to fix the problem alone.

Their first plan – to send a rocket into the sun with a stable super-heavy element that would counteract the poisoning – had gone awry after a small number of the K'Tau people had blown up said rocket. They had lost two men in the explosion; more had been wounded. The Colonel had been furious and ready to walk away. It had only been her pleas and Daniel's that had led to plan B.

Plan B had been to evacuate the K'Tau to another planet but they had refused to leave, blindly faithful that they were being tested by the Gods; that Freyr would save them.

Which had left plan C: delivering the super heavy element through the wormhole into the K'Tau sun. Sam wasn't even certain that plan had worked. When they had travelled back to K'Tau, the light spectrum had been the same red hue as they had left. But as they had made their goodbyes and had turned to leave, the light had suddenly changed back. They all believed it was the Asgard using the cover of Earth's attempt to fix the problem to aid the K'Tau and get around the Protected Planet's treaty. Not that they could prove it one way or another and Sam doubted the Asgard would ever tell them.

Daniel had realised as the K'Tau had celebrated and thanked them that the K'Tau believed SG1's entire visit was being seen as a test of faith and that Daniel's final prayer to Freyr had been the signal to the Gods that they had passed. Daniel had forwarded the motion that it was probably best for the SGC to limit their interaction with K'Tau. Hammond had agreed. He had also ordered them to some leave.

Sam shivered and she realised with a start that the bath water had cooled considerably. She sat up and unplugged the drain before she stood up and took the two steps across the bathroom into the stand alone-shower. The hot spray of water warmed her up again, dissolving the remaining bubbles that clung to her skin. She cleaned up quickly and wrapped herself in an oversize white bathrobe. She wandered to the kitchen and made herself some tea.

She curled up on the sofa with the mug and blew on the hot liquid before tentatively taking a sip. The silence around her seemed deafening and she was suddenly aware of how just how empty the house felt. She sighed and reached for the phone. She dialled quickly.

'Janet Fraiser.' The melodic voice of the SGC's CMO made Sam smile.

'Hi, it's me.' Sam twirled a strand of her hair between her fingers. 'I just wanted to check in on Cassie.' The young alien girl Janet had adopted had been ill with flu for the past week.

'Much better.' Janet said dryly. 'She's in the 'Mom but why can't I' stage.'

Sam laughed. 'Bored, huh?'

'Oh, yeah,' Janet's husky laughter travelled down the phone, 'I am bored of it.'

Sam's smile widened. She knew Janet had known Sam had meant Cassie must be bored. 'You want me to come over?' There was a hesitant pause and Sam felt a flicker of anxiety at why Janet might not want her to visit. 'It was just a thought.' She hurriedly back-pedalled.

'It's not…' Janet sighed heavily. 'It's just Colonel O'Neill came over an hour ago so she already has company.'

'Oh.' Sam suddenly understood the hesitation and bit her lip, almost painfully.

'I'm sure she'd love to see you too.' Janet said quietly.

'No, no.' Sam ran her hand through her still damp hair. She just didn't want to disturb the Colonel's time with Cassie, she assured herself; it had nothing to do with avoiding Jack outside of the base. 'I'll drop by tomorrow.'

'It's probably for the best.' Janet said. 'She'll probably get overtired if she has too many visitors.'

'Actually, the reason why I was calling was because I was wondering what the plans were for her birthday next week.' Sam said, changing the subject quickly. 'Are you going ahead with the party?'

'Probably.' Janet said cautiously. 'I was thinking we'd have an afternoon tea party. She wants to go out with her friends in the evening.'

'Sounds good to me.' Sam said. 'You want me to bring the cake?'

'A cake.' Janet groaned and there was a faint sound of a hand slapping a forehead. 'I knew I was forgetting something.'

'I take it that's a yes.' Sam laughed again.

Her doorbell rang cutting through the house and driving Sam to her feet.

'Uh that's my door.' Sam explained. 'Got to go. Give my love to Cassie.' She barely acknowledged Janet's goodbye before she replaced the receiver into its cradle and headed for the door. She pulled the lapels of her robe closer and peeked out; her eyes widened. She hurriedly unlocked the door and yanked it open.

'Dad!'

Jacob Carter accepted her hug before he pulled back and smiled warmly at his daughter.

'What are you doing here?' Sam said, ushering him into the house. She led the way into the kitchen. 'Coffee?'

Jacob nodded as he braced his hands on the breakfast bar and leaned over it slightly. Sam was pleased that he had changed from the Tok'ra garb he had no doubt arrived in and was wearing the drab olive green of the SGC BDUs. It made him look more human; more like her Dad of old than the Tok'ra host he had become. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate that his symbiote, Selmak, had saved his life but it was just that sometimes it was nice to feel her Dad was still just her Dad.

'You have room at the inn for the night?' Jacob asked lightly.

She stiffened wondering if General Hammond had told her father about Orlin. The SGC commander was an old friend of her father's and it was possible that the two had talked. She decided to take the request at face value. 'Sure. There's a guest room with your name on it.' She switched on the coffee machine and turned back to him. She gave a bright smile. 'So, what brings you by?'

'The Reole substance. I finally got away to come take a look at it and pick up a sample.' Jacob explained, unzipping his jacket. 'I head back tomorrow.'

Sam nodded in understanding. The Reole had been impressed at how SG1 had protected Tyler even after they had learned he wasn't their colleague and was an alien. It had led to an agreement; the Reole were providing the strange chemical they produced that allowed them to implant suggestions, and the SGC was helping the Reole build an iris over their new Stargate.

'Do you have any idea how long the Tok'ra have been searching for the Reole?' Jacob asked, his dark eyes twinkling with amusement. 'You should have seen the faces on the Council when we learned that you had secured an agreement with them.'

'I guess the substance will be very useful to the Tok'ra with the amount of covert work that you do.' Sam murmured, resting back against the kitchen counter.

'If we can get it to work for us.' Jacob nodded. 'I understand the scientists at Area 51 haven't had much luck.'

Sam pushed her hands in the deep pockets of her robe. 'I'm not up to date on the research.'

'George explained.' Jacob interjected. 'You've had a busy month.'

The coffee machine pinged and Sam gratefully busied herself with making his drink. She slid the mug across the breakfast bar.

Jacob picked it up and took an appreciative sip. He wrapped his hands around the ceramic and gazed at Sam. 'You know it wasn't your fault. You were following orders getting a lock on the K'Tau planet.'

'Isn't that just a way of avoiding responsibility?' Sam shot back defensively. 'I was following orders so it was OK that I almost destroyed a whole planet?' She whirled away and paced into the den area. She picked up her tea and winced at the tepid temperature which turned the fragrant brew bitter.

'I'm not saying it's OK.' Jacob said slowly, following her. 'And next time maybe everyone will think twice when there isn't an automatic lock but you were following orders, Sam, and that does make a difference.'

Sam gestured with her tea. 'I think I'll get some coffee.'

Jacob sighed but he registered her want to move topic with a nod. 'Have you had dinner?'

She shook her head, thinking of the depressing evening she'd had planned of TV and fast food. 'I was going to call out for a pizza.'

'Well, how about I treat my favourite daughter to a meal out?' Jacob suggested. He smiled ruefully. 'Selmak wants to try Chinese food.'

'I'll go change.' Sam said. 'Oh, I put some of your clothes in the wardrobe in the spare room if you want to change too.' She made for the corridor, but stopped suddenly and whirled back around to hug her father.

He hugged her back. 'What's this for?' Jacob asked with a puzzled laugh.

'I'm just glad you're here.' Sam admitted. She gave another smile as she pulled away and hurried to her room before he caught sight of the tears that had sprung up unexpectedly.

o-O-o

Jack looked at the chess pieces. He was stretched out, lying on his stomach on the floor of Cassie's bedroom. His face was propped up on his hand. The board was between him and his opponent; the dog beside them raised his head momentarily before flopping back down. Cassie sat cross-legged on an oversize cushion with the ease of the young. She was wrapped in flannel pyjamas and a blanket. Her hair was straggly and falling around her pale face. Her nose was red-tipped. Jack thought it looked cute. Cassie was mainly concerned whether the redness was going to disappear before her birthday. Jack suspected a boy.

He frowned. He didn't really want to think about that; Cassie and boys. It seemed like yesterday that SG1 had rescued her as a cute little girl from the devastated Hanka. But Cassie was a teenager and in a couple of years there would be senior prom and college…there would probably be more boys that he and Teal'c would need to fight off with a bat. Of course, he thought sourly, Daniel would probably just talk to them.

Jack wrenched his mind back to the board. The game was coming to a close; Jack was two moves from winning. He had been waiting for Cassie to move a piece for five minutes. Not that he was in any hurry or had any place to be; no one waiting at home; no hot date. Game, he reminded himself as Cassie yawned.

'If you want to call it a day…' he offered.

Cassie's eyes flickered to him. 'I'm good.' She sighed and picked up a bishop. She moved it and took out one of Jack's knights. She shot him a smug look.

'OK.' Jack raised an eyebrow. 'You got my horse. I have another.'

Her look changed to one of exasperation and for a second, it reminded him far too much of Carter when she was exasperated at his playing dumb one too many times. He looked away and frowned. Cassie had ruined his game plan; check-mate was four moves away. He slid his Queen across the board and took her bishop.

Cassie's hand struck out like a snake and took his Queen. 'Check.'

Jack stared at the board. How had he missed that? He glanced up at her admiringly. 'Sneaky.' It was said too approvingly to be a reprimand.

'Sam played the same strategy on me the last time we played.' Cassie said matter-of-factly.

'Ah.' Jack nodded. He'd been playing Carter once removed. He wondered whether it was bad that he got a charge out of that. He frowned. Maybe he should also consider that he shouldn't underestimate Cassie in future if she was going to memorise Daniel's and Sam's chess play.

The doorbell rang in the distance and Jack staggered to his feet. It was his signal to go, he mused. He stretched, easing the kinks out of his legs before he reached for the board. He picked it up and was pleased when the remaining pieces stayed put.

'Cool.' He murmured as he set it aside on her desk.

'Magnets.' Cassie said. He offered her a hand and she took it. He pulled her off the floor and took advantage of the moment to give her a swift hug. She was getting to the age where she rarely accepted them anymore. He let her go before she pulled away and she hastened to her bed, pulling the blankets up and snuggling into the pillows. The dog followed her, curling up at the end of the bed.

'Tired.' Jack stated as he resisted the urge to tuck her in.

She nodded; her eyes were already at half-mast.

'Get some rest.' Jack picked up his jacket from the floor and shrugged into it. He made a step toward the door.

'Jack?' Cassie murmured sleepily.

'Hmmm.' He replied absently, intent on adjusting the collar.

'Will you stay until I fall asleep?' Cassie asked. Her eyes opened enough to plead with him.

He nodded surprised. He looked around and pulled over her small vanity chair. He sat down and she closed her eyes with a sigh. Jack leaned forward and watched as Cassie slipped into sleep almost immediately. He'd stay a few minutes, he decided; just in case she woke up.

It had been a long time since he had watched a child sleep, he realised with a melancholic ache. Even when Cassie was younger, he had shied away from getting too close in that way, leaving the 'parenting' to Sam and Janet, content to be 'Uncle Jack' who got to take Cassie to the park and do the fun stuff without any of the responsibility. In many respects he knew Daniel had assumed the paternal role; helping Cassie with homework, providing her with advice and guidance. Jack had kept out of it although the year after they'd found Cassie there had been Retu Charlie and he'd flirted with the idea of adopting him but before it had really become a serious consideration the young boy had gone off to be a Tok'ra in order to heal his very damaged body. The last time Jack had spoken with Jacob about him, the other man had said he was doing well, and living on a farming planet with two foster parents. Apparently the Tok'ra symbiote who had healed him had insisted that Charlie had a childhood. Jack was pleased.

His thoughts turned inevitably to his own Charlie; his late son. He had loved watching Charlie sleep; as a baby with his thumb firmly in his mouth; as a toddler with a bear called Grump and as a young boy with his hand tucked into a baseball mitt. His chest tightened with a fierce pain at the flood of memories and he stared down at the floor, willing both the memories and the pain away.

This was why he didn't do this, he thought sadly, and why he might not be ready to do it ever again. He knew his ex-wife had done it; remarried and had a little girl. Jack figured the prospect of him becoming a father again was fairly unlikely given that his last serious romantic encounter was a distant off-world memory, and the woman he really wanted to be with was out of bounds – way out of bounds. He was moving on from his feelings for Sam though; he was. It was for the best; he had to protect her and God knew he figured Sam had already done it. She had been nothing but professional with him ever since the alien in her house thing a couple of months before. Moving on, he reminded himself.

Cassie gave a soft snore.

Time to leave, he decided. He got up and gave into the urge to tuck her blankets closer and to gently brush her hair from her face. He walked out silently, closing the door without a noise. He rubbed his hands over his face and determined he needed to find Fraiser; tell her he was leaving. He made his way down the stairs and hearing the murmur of voices headed toward them.

He pushed open the kitchen door and stopped, taken aback by the sight of Janet and Daniel sitting at the pine table, drinking coffee and looking very cosy – they hadn't even noticed that he had entered. They both started guiltily as he cleared his throat.

'Sorry to interrupt.' Jack said easily, although he was not apologetic at all. He sauntered into the kitchen and smirked at them.

Daniel glared at him.

Janet pierced Jack with an admonishing look. 'Cassie asleep?' She asked pointedly.

'Yeah.' Jack nodded and thrust his hands in his jacket pockets. 'So what are you guys doing?' His brown eyes danced with amusement at their discomfort.

'We were just discussing Cassie's birthday.' Daniel answered defensively. 'I dropped round with Teal'c's present.'

Jack repressed the urge to sigh; he might have known Teal'c would have already gotten Cassie her present. He needed to do some shopping.

Janet took her mug to the sink. 'I'm doing a tea party so Cassie can go out with her friends later.'

Jack rocked back a little. 'Will she be well enough for that?'

'I'll make that determination on the day.' Janet admitted dryly. 'You want some coffee?'

Jack shook his head. 'I'm going to head out.'

'Me too.' Daniel got to his feet and handed Janet his empty mug. 'Thank you.'

'Any time.' Janet said automatically. Her dark eyes suddenly flew to Jack. 'I mean…'

'I know.' Daniel said quickly.

Jack hid his grin as he turned and headed for the front door. Janet showed them both out and Jack headed for his truck. He turned on the engine and reached for his CD stash. He wasn't in the mood for the rock that was currently playing. He selected something classical and shoved the disc in. He reached for his seat belt and stopped; Daniel was propping up the hood of his car and peering at the engine with a confused face. Jack debated whether he should get out before his conscience poked him into turning off his engine and getting out of his truck.

'What's the problem?' Jack asked bluntly.

'I think it could be the battery.' Daniel replied. He reached in and pushed at a bolt. 'Maybe.'

'Do you even know which is the battery?' Jack asked caustically.

Daniel made a sweeping gesture; indicating Jack was free to look.

A couple of minutes later, he'd looked at the engine, found nothing and slid into the driver's seat to try turning it over. Jack stared at the dashboard indicators and got out of the car. He glared at Daniel. 'You're out of gas.'

'Really?' Daniel groaned and closed his eyes. 'That's right. I remembered when I left the base and I was supposed to stop on my way here.'

'You have a can in the trunk?' Jack prompted.

The blank look spoke volumes.

Jack sighed. 'Get in the truck. We'll go get you some.'

'Don't you have some spare?' Daniel countered, crossing his arms over his chest.

'My stuff will poison your car.' Jack said over his shoulder as he pulled the door to the driver's seat open. Daniel locked his car and got in the passenger seat of the truck. A moment later they pulled away from the curb.

'Thanks.' Daniel said as they reached the intersection. 'For this.' He adjusted his glasses.

Jack shrugged. It wasn't a big deal.

Daniel sighed and shifted position. 'Janet was saying Cassie seemed a lot better.'

'Yeah.' Jack nodded. 'She's almost over this flu thing. She's worried her nose is going to be red on her birthday.'

'She's a teenager.'

'I think there's a boy involved.' Jack said lightly.

'Like I said,' Daniel returned dryly, 'she's a teenager.'

Jack shot him a look and his eyes narrowed on the younger man. He waited until they pulled up at a set of traffic lights. 'You know who he is.'

Daniel smiled and refused to meet Jack's eyes. 'I don't know what you mean.'

'See I knew you'd do this.' Jack said, irritated.

'Do what?' Daniel asked bemused.

'Want to talk with Cassie's boyfriends.' Jack replied.

'Not all of us think violence is the answer to everything, Jack.' Daniel retorted fiercely.

Jack sighed and glanced over at Daniel before he turned his attention back to the road. The lights turned green and he pulled away. 'You're still pissed at me because of the K'Tau thing.'

'I'm not.' Daniel denied heatedly.

'You are.'

'Not.'

'Are.'

'Jack.'

'Daniel.'

Daniel glared at him furiously. 'I understood why you wanted to kill Malchus.'

'Why, thank you.' Jack returned mockingly. 'That's very generous of you.' He made a left turn. The K'Tau fanatic had labelled SG1 as the Harbingers of Doom from the moment they had set foot on the planet. Malchus had been responsible for the destruction of the rocket which had killed two men. Jack knew his own reaction had been extreme; in another life he'd have killed Malchus but then in another life he'd not had Sam and Daniel to stop him.

'You didn't have to tell the K'Tau about the Asgard.' Daniel said suddenly. 'You didn't have to try and change their beliefs.'

'I told them the truth.' Jack argued but he knew himself that his action had been driven from his anger – at Malchus for the deaths of his men and at the Asgard for not helping in the first place.

Daniel gave him a pointed look.

'Look,' Jack lifted a hand from the steering wheel, 'I may have overreacted but it's not like they believed me.' He sighed. 'Carter figured it out and we fixed it or the Asgard fixed it; it's over. Can we drop it and move on?'

There was silence and Jack wondered whether that meant Daniel was moving on or…

'You want to talk about why you're really angry?' Daniel asked quietly.

Jack stiffened and it was his turn to glare at Daniel who simply looked back at him with a pointed blue stare.

'You've been angry for weeks, Jack.' Daniel continued. He waved a hand at him. 'Way before the whole thing with the K'Tau.'

'Daniel,' Jack said warningly, 'drop it.'

'You need to talk…'

'There's nothing to talk about.' Jack interjected.

Daniel ignored him, '…because you're going to end up killing someone.'

'Hey, I had justification to shoot that son-of-a…'

'Jack.' Daniel cut him off.

Jack pulled into the gas station. He went into the shop and bought the can before he herded Daniel through filling the can and paying for the gas. Jack was grateful for the stop and the activity because it gave him time to push Daniel's observation to the back of his mind.

They set back off again in silence.

'All I'm saying…' Daniel begun.

Jack sighed heavily; he might have known Daniel just wouldn't have dropped it.

'…is that lately you've been more likely to, how did you put it once? Oh, that's right: shoot first and send flowers later.' Daniel said.

'You're only just noticing this now?' Jack remarked. He kept his gaze forward, staring at the roads. 'That's just how I am, Daniel.'

'You're just jumping straight to military solutions without even considering the diplomatic option.'

'Yeah, well, we tried the diplomatic option with the K'Tau people and the Asgard, and look where that got us.' Jack muttered.

Daniel closed his eyes briefly as though he was praying for patience. 'It worked, Jack. The Asgard did help.'

'We don't know that.' Jack pointed out. 'Carter's plan could have worked.'

'Even Sam doesn't think her plan worked.' Daniel retorted exasperated. 'You said it yourself it was likely to be the Asgard.' He turned to face Jack more fully. 'And has it occurred to you that maybe if you hadn't referred to us saving their little grey butts they might have been more forthcoming?'

'Is that what this is about?' Jack argued. 'You're pissed at me because you think you could have done better than me at talking with the Asgard?' He gestured angrily in Daniel's direction. 'We had no way of knowing what would happen when we stepped onto that thing. You ever consider that?'

There was an awkward silence.

Daniel sighed. 'It was the thing with the computer entity, wasn't it?'

Jack pulled up in front of Janet's house and turned off the engine. He avoided Daniel's sympathetic gaze.

'That's why you're so against talking these days.' Daniel concluded.

'Daniel.' Jack's hands clenched on the steering wheel as the words hit uncomfortably close. Jack didn't want to talk about it. The time the computer entity had infested the SGC ranked up high on his list of the worst moments of his life. Carter's attempt to talk with it had led to her possession and his having to shoot her; had led to his thinking he'd killed her…he'd argued against talking to it and he'd been right. His jaw tensed at the memory. Or maybe he'd been wrong. Daniel had talked to it and the information he'd gathered had ultimately saved Carter…

'Jack,' Daniel started with a sigh.

'You should be fine from here, right?' Jack gestured at Daniel's car in front of him.

Daniel reached for the handle. He looked for a moment as though he was going to say something more but he opened the door and stepped out. 'Thanks.'

Jack nodded. He waited until Daniel had closed the door before he pulled away, eager to get away from Daniel's theories. Daniel was wrong, Jack determined as he navigated the streets to his home. He wasn't angry and he wasn't against talking per se. If Daniel had been right, Jack mused, he would have shot Tyler on the last mission when he'd revealed he was an alien – and he'd attempted to talk to the Asgard, hadn't he? He'd had good reason to attack the Malchus guy; very good reason. But it had been the thing with the computer entity that had prompted him into stopping Sam or Daniel from talking with the Asgard Council.

He sighed as he pulled up in front of his house with relief. Maybe he was a little angry; the thing with the entity had forced him into making some difficult choices; he had reverted to a professional relationship with Carter and he'd even taken a step back from Teal'c and Daniel. Their working bond was as strong as ever but it was rare the four of them spent time outside of the mountain together anymore. Maybe he was angry because he missed them. It was the right thing to do, Jack reminded himself; it was for their protection. Just like his taking the risk of stepping up on that Asgard platform had been for their protection.

His house sat in front of him; there was no welcoming light shining out from the windows only darkness. Jack climbed out of his truck and went inside.

o-O-o

Daniel watched as the tail-lights on Jack's truck disappeared. He sighed heavily and pushed his glasses up his nose. He hefted the can and undid the fuel cap to pour the gas into the tank. He wrinkled his nose against the heavy fumes and hunched his shoulders.

He truly hadn't meant to get into anything with Jack; had actually thought that he had put the skirmishes they'd had on K'Tau behind them. Evidently, Jack had been right, Daniel considered wryly; he was still pissed at the military man.

It wasn't so much about the fact that Jack had attacked Malchus – he understood that. Jack was incredibly protective of his people and Malchus had killed two innocent people. And putting himself forward to talk to the Asgard – Daniel had been irked about that but he understood it was Jack protecting them again. Jack's little show to tell the K'Tau the truth, on the other hand, that had been out of line. Not that Jack had listened to him when he'd tried to stop him; not that Jack listened to him very much at all these days, Daniel mused sadly.

Daniel tilted the can to get the last of the fuel out. He couldn't deny that he was beginning to question his place on SG1 again, he thought tiredly. It seemed like he wasn't making a difference, like they weren't making a difference. Since they had defeated Apophis it felt like they'd done nothing but make things worse. They'd almost destroyed the K'Tau and, although the act had been unintentional and they had tried to fix what they had done, it left a bitter feeling.

Even their own government was questioning them. He flushed at the memory of Colonel Simmons interrogating him and insinuating it was fault that his wife, and his ex-girlfriend Sarah Gardner had both been taken as hosts. It was his fault, Daniel sighed, just not the way Simmons had meant it. He would leave but he had no place on Earth to go; he'd determined that the year before. He knew too much to hide away on a dig somewhere. He shook the can and replaced the lid. He recapped the fuel tank and went around the back of the car to place the empty can in the trunk.

'Is everything OK?' Janet called out from her doorway. She wrapped an oversize cardigan around her and hurried out to him.

'Yeah,' Daniel tapped the car, 'minor fuel hiccup. Jack took me to get gas. I'm good.'

'Oh.' Janet nodded. 'OK then.' She turned away and Daniel opened the car door.

Janet turned back. 'You know we didn't get a chance to finish our discussion before on Dominic, and I was just about to order some dinner. You're welcome to join me.'

Daniel shook his head as he climbed into his car. 'I have to get back to the base. Thanks anyway.'

'No problem.' She gave a bright, false smile and stepped forward to help close his door.

Daniel waved at her through the car window and started the car. A second later, he was driving away. He glanced in his mirror and saw Janet returning to the house. It had to be tough for Janet, Daniel thought as he stopped at the top of the road. Cassie was sick with flu and going through the usual teenage angst. His lips twisted in amusement as he recalled his and Janet's discussion before Jack had interrupted; she had been telling him about the boy that Cassie was interested in. Dominic sounded like a nice guy to Daniel; on the debating team, science club like Cassie. He guessed Janet had just needed the reassurance; it probably wasn't easy being a single parent…his conscience twinged. That was probably what had prompted her offer of dinner.

He didn't _have_ to go back to the base. Sure, there was a backlog of translations that had stacked up in the month he had spent on K'Tau but it could wait. It wasn't like translating it all that night was going to make a major difference. He pressed his lips together, checked his mirrors and abruptly made a u-turn. Five minutes later, he rang the doorbell and waited.

Janet opened the door and her eyes widened in surprise. 'Daniel.'

'Hey.' Daniel smiled shyly. 'I figured work could wait if that offer of dinner is still open?'

She stepped back to let him in. Daniel walked into the warmth; maybe he couldn't make a difference at the SGC but, maybe, just maybe, he could make a small difference and be there for Janet as a friend.


	6. The Right Decision

**Author's Note: **Daniel/Janet friendship. Janet & Cassie. Teal'c/team friendship.

**Rite of Passage Recap**: _SG1 are celebrating Cassie's birthday. As Sam and Janet prepare the cake, a disgruntled Cassie goes outside to tell her friend Dominic to go ahead and meet their friends. He kisses her and she collapses. In the infirmary, Jack comes to check in on Cassie and Sam tells him that she's running a fever and her body is generating an EM field. A worried Janet discovers Cassie is suffering from a retro-virus associated with her home planet._ _A feverish Cassie demands to return and be allowed to go through the forest; Janet is hurt when Cassie asks for her biological mother. _

_SG1 return to Hanka and discover Nirrti's secret lab. They gather as much stuff as they can. Sam returns early to find that Cassie has continued to deteriorate but is displaying telekinetic powers. The young girl continues to argue with a distraught Janet, telling her adopted mother that she wants her transformation to go ahead and ignoring Janet's pleas to fight it. _

_The rest of SG1 return but they are still no closer to answers. Cassie sounds the alarm when she feels the presence of a Goa'uld. They discover Nirrti has sneaked onto the base using her invisibility cloak. They capture her. She tells them she will heal Cassie if they allow her to go free with a sample of Cassie's blood and her invisibility cloak. SG1 debate whether to make a deal; Hammond is uncertain, Teal'c puts forward that they cannot allow Nirrti to go free and the life of one child can be sacrificed while Sam, Jack and Daniel all argue that if they were to sacrifice Cassie's life, what is the point of their fight. _

_Meanwhile, as Cassie no longer responds to treatment, Janet takes things into her own hands and holds Nirrti at gunpoint. SG1 and Hammond talk her down: Hammond will allow Nirrti to leave if she heals Cassie. The Goa'uld heals Cassie and Jack escorts her off-base. A week later, a fully recovered Cassie jokes around with Sam and Janet watches on delightedly._

**The Right Decision**

Candlelight bathed the concrete walls in a soft warm yellow. Shadows painted the corners in darkness; the stark lines hinted at the harsh angles of the utilitarian furniture within the room. Teal'c sat cross-legged on the floor, his hands loosely lying on his knees. His back was straight; his head perfectly still. His dark eyes stared into the black void of a corner. It was the darkest place in the room, a meeting place where many shadows gathered into one amorphous being. The infant Goa'uld within him stirred and writhed.

Teal'c ignored it. He had tried to kel no reem but his mind would not settle. His thoughts inextricably kept straying back to Cassandra. She would be released from the infirmary that evening. He had heard the news earlier when Major Carter had stopped by the table where he and Daniel Jackson had been eating lunch. She had eschewed joining them, claiming that her chess match with Cassandra had delayed work in her lab. Teal'c could not quite shake the feeling that she was avoiding him. He could not quite shake the feeling all his team-mates were avoiding him.

It had been a week since Cassandra had fallen ill with a retro-virus linked with her home world of Hanka. They had worked out that the virus was an experiment Nirrti had perpetrated on that planet trying to develop a Hauk'Taur – an advanced human being – for her next host. It was also a week since Nirrti had invaded the SGC and had bargained for her freedom with Cassandra's life and since he had argued that they could not make such a bargain; that the life of a child was an acceptable sacrifice to keep the Goa'uld in captivity.

His team-mates had disagreed. Vehemently. He could picture them in his mind's eye when he had voiced his opinion. O'Neill had seemed mostly frustrated, something Teal'c could understand. The military man had been arguing for Cassandra's survival with General Hammond and had not expected to be contradicted by any of his team.

Betrayal had flickered across Samantha Carter's delicate features. She had pointed out that it was Cassandra as though he had been unaware that she had been the child in question. He knew only too well that Cassandra was more than just another young girl they had rescued; she was a member of the family they had built and part of their lives. They had been celebrating Cassandra's birthday before she had fallen ill. A tea party filled with happiness that the small girl they had befriended was another year older. Daniel Jackson had strategically suggested running out for ice-cream to go with the cake just before Cassandra's friend had been due to pick her up. In hindsight, Teal'c realised the archaeologist had known the friend was male and wished to avoid a confrontation between the boy and O'Neill.

Daniel Jackson had been the most accepting of Teal'c's viewpoint. He had been neither startled nor annoyed by Teal'c's opinion but rather simply disappointed. He had merely disagreed with Teal'c, throwing in his lot with their military team-mates. He was also the only member of SG1 who had not actively avoided him since but the archaeologist was not seeking out Teal'c's company either.

Teal'c frowned.

He had not thought twice about disagreeing with his team-mates at the time. Over his years at the SGC, he had learned that SG1 and Hammond appreciated his input and he had not hesitated to give it. He had honestly believed what he had said and in truth he still believed it. He could not pretend that Nirrti loose in the universe was a price he would ever have paid for the life of a child – even Cassandra. In the end, the SGC had made the deal: Nirrti was free and Cassandra lived. He could not deny he was pleased at that latter outcome as he would have certainly regretted and mourned the loss of Cassandra had they sacrificed her. But neither could he shake the feeling that the deal that the SGC had made with the Goa'uld would demand a much higher price in future.

He dismissed that thought with a quirk of an eyebrow. The future was the future; he could not predict it nor influence its unfolding. It was the present that concerned him, Teal'c mused. The situation with his team-mates could not continue. Perhaps he should not have expressed his opinion so in contradiction with theirs; perhaps it was too soon after the events wrought by his brainwashing – his betrayal of his team-mates, his brutish behaviour toward them. He and his team-mates had worked hard to retain their former closeness but the issue with Cassandra had redrawn the differences between them again. Teal'c grimaced. He could not pretend to be something he was not and he could not change the past. There was little point dwelling on the problem – he needed to fix it.

He rose to his feet in a beautifully fluid motion that belied his bulky frame. He quickly blew out the candles sending the room into complete darkness. He made his way to the door from memory and stepped into the harsh artificial light of the corridor. He headed for Daniel Jackson's office. He believed the archaeologist was the team-mate who could most help him find a way forward. He was dismayed to find the office empty.

He paused in the centre of the room, hands clasped behind his back, wondering what he should do next. There was something comforting about the room; the shelves lined with books and artefacts; stacks of more books along the workbenches, every space crammed with knowledge and history. A small desk lamp lit up an old manuscript in one corner and Teal'c surmised it must be the object of Daniel Jackson's current work.

The Jaffa turned at the sound of approaching footsteps. He didn't know whether to be pleased or disappointed when Nyan, the Bedrosian archaeologist who they had given sanctuary to in the third year of the programme walked in instead of his team-mate.

'Nyan.'

'Teal'c!' Nyan's boyish face lit up with a happy smile. 'I have not seen you for many days.'

Teal'c inclined his head in mute apology. He and Nyan had become friends after their shared experience on Bedrosia where Nyan had saved his life. They had often met for movie nights at Nyan's apartment before Apophis had brainwashed him.

'Are you looking for Daniel?' Nyan asked, placing his cargo of even more books on the side table.

'Indeed, I am.' Teal'c agreed steadily as Nyan turned to face him.

'I believe he went to the infirmary to check in on Cassandra.' Nyan informed him briskly.

Teal'c repressed the urge to sigh. 'I see.'

Nyan suddenly seemed to stop. He regarded Teal'c closely. 'Something troubles you, Teal'c?' His brown eyes shone with concern. 'May I be of assistance?'

Teal'c considered his young friend's offer. Nyan was human in many ways but he was not of the Tau'ri. Perhaps he would be a good choice to discuss his concerns, Teal'c mused. He knew he could count on Nyan's discretion. 'I would appreciate your counsel, my friend.'

Nyan slid onto a stool in response. Teal'c chose to remain standing. He succinctly outlined what had happened and his observation that his team-mates were avoiding him.

'I am uncertain of how to proceed.' Teal'c admitted in conclusion. He couldn't maintain his usually impassivity and he feared his troubled emotions were writ large across his face. It didn't help that Nyan was regarding him with bemusement.

Nyan cleared his throat. 'Perhaps the others share my own confusion, Teal'c.' He gestured at the Jaffa. 'I thought you cared for Cassandra.'

Teal'c frowned. 'I do.'

'Yet you would sacrifice her life so easily?' Nyan asked bluntly.

'I did not recommend the action lightly.' Teal'c replied, ignoring the spark of defensiveness that sprang up in his chest. 'Sacrificing Cassandra would have pained me greatly but sacrifices are necessary if we are one day to win the war against the Goa'uld.'

Nyan sighed and shook his head, the light catching on the closely cropped brown hair. His eyes shone with his need to understand. 'Are such sacrifices common among the Jaffa?'

'Indeed.' Teal'c confirmed. 'We are taught from an early age that any sacrifice must be considered to defeat the enemy even a child's life.' It was one of the first lessons a Jaffa warrior was taught; they had to sacrifice something of value to them to enter the ranks usually a possession and not a life but the lesson was learned; Teal'c had given his father's ring.

'I cannot pretend Teal'c that it is most…disturbing to me to hear you say that.' Nyan commented, rubbing his hands on his jeans.

'In what way?' Teal'c asked. His brow creased.

'If any sacrifice could be considered, especially that of an innocent child, then perhaps one day you may consider my life forfeit.' Nyan said softly. 'Perhaps your team-mates are similarly concerned.'

'I had not considered that.' Teal'c's eyes widened at the observation.

'More,' Nyan said warming to his subject enthusiastically, 'I believe that the Tau'ri often believe the means by which a war is won to be as important as winning.' He smiled shyly. 'I have read that the ends do not justify the means. I believe they think to sacrifice a child's life in pursuit of victory would not be honourable.'

'It was not only about attaining victory.' Teal'c murmured. 'By allowing Nirrti to go free we have allowed her to perpetrate more atrocities such as that which led to the demise of Cassandra's people.' His brow lowered. 'And she will do so, Nyan. She is Goa'uld.'

'There is truth in that too, Teal'c.' Nyan admitted. 'It was not an easy choice. I recently watched a film where a character sacrificed his life believing that the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few yet in the following sequel, his team-mates contradicted this by acting against the needs of the many to save him once again.'

Teal'c tilted his head as he turned over Nyan's comments in his head. He pursed his lips. While he had believed his team-mates had been unhappy with his opinion, he had not considered why beyond the obvious. If his team-mates felt like Nyan…he had much to repair.

'I believe you should talk with them about this, Teal'c.' Nyan said gently. 'I am certain that they would understand.'

'Thank you, Nyan.' Teal'c said solemnly. 'I have appreciated your advice in this matter.'

Nyan stood up. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it as Daniel entered. He smiled at Teal'c, crisply informed Daniel that he had left him the books he had requested from the library and left.

Daniel looked up from the report he was reading and his eyebrows rose over the rim of his glasses as he realised Teal'c had remained standing in the middle of his office. 'Teal'c.'

'Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c shifted his weight subtly and straightened as though preparing to be struck. 'How is Cassandra?'

'Much better.' Daniel replied, his eyes straying to the report again. He looked up in confusion when Teal'c did not leave. 'I'm sorry. Did you want something?'

'I believe you continue to be upset at my proposal that Nirrti should not have been released to save Cassandra.'

Daniel blinked furiously at Teal'c's blunt statement.

Teal'c looked back at him evenly. 'I wish to clean the air between us.'

'Clear.' Daniel automatically corrected. 'It's clear the air.' He sighed and slumped down onto a stool. He threw the report he held onto the desk. He waved a hand at a second stool nearby and Teal'c acquiesced to the invitation.

Teal'c realised after a moment of silence that the other man was waiting for him to continue. He struggled to find the words. 'I am deeply fond of Cassandra.'

'I know that, Teal'c.' Daniel said encouragingly. He rested an arm along the workbench beside him. 'Nobody thinks you don't care about Cassie because you, uh…'

'Would have sacrificed her life to ensure Nirrti did not gain her freedom.' Teal'c completed helpfully.

'I guess that works as a description.' Daniel crossed his arms protectively over his chest.

'Nyan suggested that perhaps my opinion had made others worried that I would similarly choose to sacrifice them in future.' Teal'c stated calmly.

Daniel sighed again. 'I don't think any of us are exactly worried about you sacrificing us, Teal'c. In truth, I think we all know that there may be times when we might have to sacrifice any one of us. I mean, Jack was prepared to kill Sam to save the base; Sam killed Martouf…' his voice trailed away. 'We know sacrifices are necessary sometimes.'

'I see.' Teal'c murmured. It would seem Nyan had been wrong, he mused.

'And if it had been me lying in the infirmary bed and if I was given the choice, I would have chosen to die rather than let Nirrti back through the Stargate. I would have made the sacrifice.' Daniel continued.

Teal'c frowned in confusion. 'If that is true then…'

'Why didn't I agree with you?' Daniel shifted on the stool restlessly. 'Because Cassie's a child. She isn't capable of making that decision for herself and we have no right to sacrifice her life just because we have the power to make that decision for her.'

'Even if it was the right decision?' Teal'c questioned.

'What was the _right_ decision?' Daniel countered. His blue eyes met Teal'c's challengingly. 'Was it strategically right to allow an enemy to go free especially someone like Nirrti? Maybe not. Was it morally or ethically right to allow someone as evil as Nirrti to inflict more destruction the galaxy? Maybe not. But was it morally and ethically right to sacrifice an innocent child who had no say in the decision?' He pushed his glasses up.

'The Goa'uld would not hesitate to sacrifice a child's life.' Teal'c remarked.

Daniel pointed at him. 'And maybe that's why we shouldn't. If we do we just become as bad as they are.' His eyes widened. 'Not that I meant,' he waved at the Jaffa, 'I didn't mean because you that you, well, you know.'

Teal'c allowed a flicker of amusement at his friend's discomfort. 'You did not mean to suggest that because I was willing to sacrifice Cassandra's life, I am as bad as a Goa'uld.'

Daniel looked at him sheepishly. 'That.'

'I can understand why you might think that given my recent brainwashing and behaviour towards you.'

'That wasn't you.' Daniel said, ducking his head in unconscious agreement.

'The Jaffa are raised to believe any sacrifice is acceptable to win.' Teal'c commented. 'But we are raised to believe such a thing in order to serve the Goa'uld in battle. In which case, perhaps the basis of my opinion is faulty.' He rose and bowed slightly. 'Thank you for the discussion, Daniel Jackson.'

'Teal'c.' Daniel stopped him before he could take a step toward the door. 'I'm sorry if I've seemed…distant since. It's just,' he pulled a face, 'even understanding intellectually why you suggested it…' he shook his head and shrugged. 'I guess I didn't like that you did.'

'I understand.' Teal'c said.

He decided to seek out Colonel O'Neill next before Major Carter. The other man was not so unlike himself. O'Neill was a warrior; a brother in spirit. He found him in the gym. O'Neill was dressed in a vest and sweat pants, his hands were enclosed in red, worn boxing gloves. He danced around a punch-bag, hitting it with rhythmic jabs. He remained standing by the door until O'Neill finished the work-out.

The Colonel glanced across at Teal'c and nodded in acknowledgement. O'Neill walked across to a small wooden bench and grabbed a towel. He rubbed it vigorously over his ruddy face and through his short damp grey hair.

Teal'c approached him and O'Neill waved at him to sit down beside him as he slumped onto the bench and began to untie a boxing glove with his teeth. Teal'c sat down and watched O'Neill expertly remove one glove and then the other. The military man reached for a bottle of water and gulped down half the contents.

'You have something on your mind, Teal'c?' O'Neill asked bluntly as he lowered the water bottle.

'You have been avoiding me.' Teal'c responded with equal bluntness.

'Ah.' O'Neill winced. He shot Teal'c another glance and sighed.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

'Well, maybe.' O'Neill conceded. He stared at the ground. 'I've been thinking you were right.'

His eyebrow shot up further in astonishment. 'You agree with my suggestion that Cassandra should have been sacrificed.'

'No!' O'Neill almost yelped. He took a breath. 'Not that.' He looked at him with a slightly scandalised expression. 'I'm never going to agree with you about that.'

'Then…' Teal'c began confused.

'You weren't wrong about Nirrti, Teal'c.' O'Neill admitted. 'We shouldn't have let the snake go.' He picked at the label on the plastic bottle. He took another large gulp. 'We should have kept her, interrogated her and shot her once she'd saved Cassie.'

'I believe that would have been wise.'

'Yeah.' Jack sighed. 'I know it wouldn't have been the honourable thing to do but I think I could have lived with it.' He stated. 'It's not like…' He stopped abruptly. He hunched over, elbows on his knees, the bottle held loosely in his hand, dangling between them.

It was not like O'Neill had not done similar things before, Teal'c concluded; just as he had done when he had been the First Prime of Apophis.

'The ends do not always justify the means.' Teal'c said quietly. 'I believe this is why you agreed to let Nirrti go and why you argued for Cassandra's life.'

O'Neill looked at him in surprise. He looked away again. 'Maybe.'

'I have spoken with Daniel Jackson and I see now that my suggestion to sacrifice Cassandra was seen as unacceptable.'

'There are some sacrifices we shouldn't have to make, Teal'c.' Jack said tiredly. There was a distant look in his eyes. 'A child's life is one of them.'

Teal'c wondered if O'Neill was thinking of his late son. The man had lost one child he had loved and Teal'c knew with sudden certainty that O'Neill could not have lost another.

'If you were given the choice again, O'Neill,' Teal'c said quietly, 'I do not believe that you would choose differently.'

'Yeah.' O'Neill tilted the bottle again and drained it of the clear liquid. 'I just can't help feeling that this whole thing is going to come back and bite me in the ass.'

Teal'c's eyebrow crept up again.

O'Neill stood up. 'I should shower.' He picked up the towel and waved it at Teal'c. 'How about I come find you in the commissary for an afternoon snack after? Maybe we can sneak some cake to Cassie.'

Teal'c knew the offer was signalled the end of the discussion and the end of O'Neill's avoiding him. 'I would enjoy that.'

'I'll pick up Daniel. You might want to see if Carter wants to join us.' O'Neill called over his shoulder as he walked out.

Teal'c watched as the door closed. Evidently, given the pointed look the Colonel had just thrown him, he had not been unaware of the strain between Teal'c and the others. He got to his feet and went in search of Major Carter.

She was in the first place he checked: her lab. Her attention was fixed on what appeared to be a small metal box. She had opened it and was probing into its contents with a rapt expression on her delicate features which were partly obscured by safety goggles. He hovered in the doorway and cleared his throat. Her blonde head snapped to him.

'Teal'c.' Sam turned back to her work.

Her tone wasn't inviting but he persisted. 'I have come to invite you for an afternoon snack. Colonel O'Neill has suggested we attempt to take cake to Cassandra.'

'I have a lot of work to do.' Sam replied without looking at him.

Teal'c pursed his lips as his heart sank. 'You are upset with me.'

'No, I have a lot of work to do.' Sam insisted, shooting him a look which belied her words.

'You are angry because I suggested that Cassandra could be sacrificed.' Teal'c continued.

Sam froze. She turned to face him and whipped off the safety goggles. 'You were going to sacrifice Cassie, Teal'c.'

'Yes.'

'Cassie.' Sam stressed strongly, gesturing dangerously with the pliers.

'Yes.' Teal'c braced himself as though prepared for her to hit him.

'Do you have any idea how upset she would be if she knew?' Sam said passionately. 'She adores you!'

'As I adore her.' Teal'c said calmly.

'And yet you would have let her die just so Nirrti provided us with intel?' Sam argued, pacing away from him.

'I would have regretfully let her die so others would not suffer at the hands of Nirrti.' Teal'c responded forcefully. 'If there had been a way I would have gladly have offered my own life for Cassandra's.'

Sam sat down slowly on a chair as though his argument had deflated her.

Teal'c took a hesitant step toward her and when she did not protest he sat down beside her. 'I have realised since speaking with Daniel Jackson and Colonel O'Neill that sacrificing Cassandra, to sacrifice any child, would not have been honourable.'

'If we don't protect the innocent, Teal'c, it makes us just like the Goa'uld.' Sam said quietly.

Teal'c inclined his head.

She looked at him sideways, tapping the pliers against her thigh. 'Can I ask you a question, Teal'c?'

'You may ask me anything, Major Carter.' Teal'c allowed, registering that the anger had gone from her voice; the tension had seeped out of her body.

'If it had been Rya'c, would you have held the same position?' Sam asked.

Teal'c breathed in sharply. 'I do not know.' He replied honestly. 'As I explained to Daniel Jackson the Jaffa are trained to believe all sacrifices are acceptable in battle. Yet, in truth, I believe I would have reacted as Doctor Fraiser.'

'You would have threatened Nirrti?'

'And forced her to heal my child.' Teal'c agreed. 'But I believe I would not have honoured the agreement to let her go.'

Sam nodded. She fiddled with the pliers in her hand. 'Janet was very impressive.'

'She was a mother protecting her child.' Teal'c inclined his head. 'As were you in your anger toward me.'

Sam flushed.

'I regret disappointing you, Major Carter.' Teal'c said gently.

'You're probably right though.' Sam admitted. 'About Nirrti.' She waved the pliers. 'We may have just let her out to start over with her experiments. Look what happened when we released Linea, Destroyer of Worlds loose on the galaxy.'

Teal'c regarded her seriously for a moment. 'So, you believe Nirrti will attempt to seduce Daniel Jackson at our next encounter.'

Sam stared at him for a moment before breaking into a rueful laugh. 'I hope not.' She put the pliers down. 'You said something about an afternoon snack?'

Teal'c stood up and offered her his hand. She took it and he pulled her from the chair to a standing position. She held onto him.

'Teal'c,' Sam began, 'you have just as much a right to your opinion as I do to mine even if I disagree with it.'

Teal'c squeezed her hand. 'I am pleased that we are once again friends, Major Carter.'

'Me too.' Sam said with a small smile as she squeezed his hand and let go. 'Come on, we should get to the mess before Colonel O'Neill eats all the cake.'

Teal'c felt his spirits lift as he followed her out of the lab. 'Indeed.'

o-O-o

Janet Fraiser wasn't surprised to see the four members of SG1 gathered around Cassie's bed. Her eyes took in the various empty plates and sighed. She'd seen them in the commissary gathering the provisions. Just what she needed, she mused; a teenager on a sugar high. She strode forward confidently and cleared her throat. Five guilty faces stared back at her.

Jack nudged Sam less than discreetly much to Janet's amusement. Clearly Sam was meant to smooth the waters. Sam glared at her CO but Jack stared back pointedly. Sam turned around only to meet with Cassie's pleading expression. She sighed and looked at Janet. 'About the cake, if I could explain…'

'No need. I know who was responsible.' Janet looked at the Colonel who plastered an innocent expression on his face. Her lips twitched. She shifted her gaze back to her adopted daughter. 'So, my shift just ended. I think we should get you packed and home.'

Cassie nodded happily. Sam slipped off the bed to help push back the covers and allow Cassie to get up.

The men of SG1 stood up almost in unison.

Jack waved at her vaguely. 'Well, we should probably…'

'Leave.' Daniel supplied quickly. 'Give you some privacy.' He held open his arms to Cassie who hugged him fiercely.

'Hey.' Jack said loudly. 'How about one of those over here?'

Cassie exchanged a knowing look with Daniel who stepped back and allowed her to move to Jack. She hugged him before turning to Teal'c. The Jaffa patted her back awkwardly before Cassie slipped out of his embrace and waved the men away.

A nurse passed them as they made their way out of the infirmary. She cleared her throat as she approached Cassie's bed. 'Doctor Fraiser?'

'Emily.' Janet smiled. 'I've just handed over to Doctor Warner.' Her hand sneaked out to stroke Cassie's reddish-brown hair back over a shoulder and gave a silent thank-you when Cassie didn't protest the action. 'Cassie and I are on our way home.'

'I'm sorry, ma'am.' Emily said apologetically. 'But you received a call; General Hammond wants to see you immediately.'

Janet tried not to show the nerves that stampeded into her belly. She had been expecting a call to see the General for days; ever since she had assaulted an SF to break into Nirrti's cell and held a gun on a valuable prisoner, all to save her daughter. She would do it again in a heartbeat but all actions had consequences. 'I see. Thank you.' She turned to see Sam looking at her sympathetically. 'Can you stay with Cassie and get her ready?'

'Sure.' Sam agreed. She held Janet's gaze and Janet nodded imperceptibly, understanding the reassuring comfort Sam was providing without Sam needing to speak a word.

Janet gave one regretful look around the infirmary and walked out. She tried not to feel nervous as she entered the elevator. She had known her actions had consequences, she reminded herself. She had acted as Cassie's mother, on pure emotion, and she had ignored all the rules and regulations of her position as an officer in the United States Air Force. She shoved her hands in her pockets and looked anxiously up at the floor indicator.

General Hammond had been fairly understanding in the immediate aftermath. Once she had established Cassie was truly on the mend, she had presented herself to him and he had informed her that he needed time to consider the events and what was appropriate. Janet licked her lips. She had been lucky that he hadn't taken her off active duty there and then; that he had waited until Cassie was ready to leave the infirmary before he had called for her.

She couldn't help the churn in her stomach. She wasn't a rebel. She wasn't a Jack O'Neill who could blithely ignore the rules when it suited him – and those situations tended to be when the fate of Earth or the galaxy rested on the outcome. There had only been one life on the line when she had broken the rules and maybe it was the most precious life of all to her but she doubted the Air Force considered it the same way. A very valuable prisoner had been released because of her actions.

Janet straightened her shoulders and checked her hair was in place. She fussed with a few stray strands. She took a deep breath as the elevator came to a halt. She stepped out with a confidence that she didn't feel. The General's office door was closed and she rapped on the door. He called her for her to enter.

She had to take another deep breath and tried to ignore how her hand was shaking as she pushed open the door. She paused in the doorway. 'You wanted to see me, sir?'

General Hammond waved her forward. She closed the door behind her and moved to stand in front of his desk. He was scribbling into a report, his pale blue eyes focused on the folder on his desk. He glanced up briefly before returning to his work. 'At ease, Major.'

His familiar Texan drawl might have relaxed her as she fell into the pose that had literally been drilled into her body, but she noted the unusual use of her rank with dismay. Normally, Hammond called her 'Doctor' like everyone else on base. She couldn't remember when she had felt less comfortable in his office. Her eyes drifted around the room; over the tasteful furniture and décor – so reminiscent of the man himself. It was conservative, traditional yet with personal touches that hinted at the General's warm personality.

Hammond closed the folder and clasped his hands on top of it. He held her gaze with a hint of regret on his round face. 'As you are aware, Major, your actions in assaulting an Airman and holding a gun on Nirrti in order to secure treatment for your daughter would normally result in charges under the UCMJ.'

'Yes, sir.' Janet wondered at her suddenly dry mouth.

'I've spoken with my superiors and taken legal counsel on this matter.' Hammond informed her briskly. 'We are prepared to forego a formal court martial if you are prepared to accept my ruling as your commanding officer. You are, of course, entitled to seek your own legal counsel at any time during these proceedings.'

Janet nodded in understanding. 'I'm prepared to accept your ruling, sir.'

'Very well.' Hammond opened the file. 'Firstly, there is the question of the assault. The Airman you injured, Fitzpatrick, has formally gone on record that he does not wish for charges to be brought and I have taken his feelings on the matter into account.'

Janet breathed out in a sigh of relief. Of all the things that she had done, she had felt most guilty about knocking out Fitzpatrick.

'There is the second matter, however, of you threatening a prisoner in custody with an unauthorised firearm and effectively attempting to blackmail this command into a course of action that may or may not have been in the best interests of this planet, this country and the United States Air Force.' Hammond continued.

She flinched at his words and her hands tightened into fists behind her back.

'Do you have anything to say in mitigation?' Hammond asked.

Janet cleared her throat. 'Only that I am sorry that I have disappointed you, sir.'

Hammond's stern face softened. He cleared his throat and tapped the neat stack of paper. 'Over the past week, several officers have come forward to testify to your good character and previous exemplary behaviour. I also have written statements from several members of the SGC that your normal good judgement was impaired due to severe emotional distress at the potential loss of your daughter.'

Janet's eyes flickered to the ground.

'It is clear to me that your actions were down to this emotional distress and you therefore have a solid defence of diminished responsibility.'

She was surprised into looking at him and almost started at the look of kindness the General directed at her.

'In normal circumstances, had this been any other patient, I have no doubt that you would have conducted yourself with your usual common sense and level headed attitude. But these were not normal circumstances.' Hammond said softly. 'As a doctor, you should never have had primary care of your daughter and as an officer, you should never have been placed in the situation where your emotions would so clearly affect your judgement or in a situation where you, as an officer, would have the ability to do what you did.' He sighed. 'But there was no choice here: Cassandra is under your care because of her unique physiology. This base, this infirmary, was the only place where she could receive care and you are the Chief Medical Officer of this facility.'

Janet nodded jerkily.

'Taking all that into account, I am making the following ruling: you are hereby suspended from active duty for one week. To be clear, once you leave the base today, you will not return for seven days unless there is a galactic emergency and you are recalled to duty. Is that clear?'

'Yes, sir.' Janet said crisply. Effectively, she had been seven days of leave; seven days she could spend looking after Cassie at home. She didn't fool herself. Hammond had clearly timed it deliberately; he'd left her on duty when Cassie needed to be in the infirmary and now she was going home he was suspending her. She felt a flood of affection for her CO and tears of gratitude sprang to her eyes that she blinked back furiously.

'Your pay will also be docked for that week,' Hammond continued with a hint of regret, 'and your file will contain a formal letter of reprimand that may affect your next promotion.'

'I understand, sir.' Janet managed to get the words out. The pay stung; her budget was carefully worked out especially since she had begun to build a college fund for Cassie. The loss of a week's pay would hurt. She didn't really care about the letter of reprimand or any mythical future promotion. Saving Cassie's life had been worth it.

'That's all.' Hammond shut the folder and nodded at her. 'You're dismissed, Major.'

'Sir.' Janet came to formal attention and spun on her heel. She made for the door.

'Doctor.'

She stopped with her hand on the door handle and turned back to her CO.

Hammond smiled at her. 'Give Cassie my best.'

'I will, sir.' Janet returned his smile tremulously. 'And thank you.'

'For what, Doctor?' Hammond teased gently. His eyes sobered. 'I'm certain that there's not a parent on this base that wouldn't have done the same thing in your shoes. I know if it had been my daughter or Kayla or Tessa...' he shrugged.

Janet nodded. She walked out as though she was floating. She hit the call button for the elevator and waited impatiently. The doors slid open and revealed Daniel. He was holding a manuscript in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. His eyes on the manuscript he almost barrelled into her. She caught hold of his arm as she unbalanced and for a second they wobbled uncertainly before he steadied her.

'Oh, sorry.' Daniel smiled shyly.

'No problem.' Janet said quickly. She went to move past him and he caught hold of her. 'Is something wrong? You seem…' he gestured with his mug and the coffee sloshed very close to the edge.

'I'm fine.' Janet avoided his gaze and stepped into the elevator.

He frowned at her; a crease appearing between his eyebrows. The doors started closing and Daniel suddenly dived between them. She looked up at the ceiling as he juggled the manuscript and mug again.

'What's wrong?' Daniel repeated. He reached out and touched her arm gently. 'And please; don't tell me you're fine because you're clearly not.'

Janet looked over at him and felt her guard drop at his sincere concern. She sighed, unaccountably embarrassed. 'General Hammond just suspended me.'

'He what?' Daniel's eyes widened behind the panes of glass he wore. 'But you were just protecting Cassie! He can't suspend you for that!'

'Yes, he can.' Janet argued, reaching out to catch hold of his hand. 'It's fine, Daniel. After what I did, I could have ended up with prison time and instead, the General's given me a week at home with my recovering daughter.'

'Oh.' Daniel seemed barely mollified. 'You're still shaking.' He said it almost accusingly and she smiled in response.

'It's probably just some delayed reaction to everything.' Janet blushed and realising she was holding onto his hand, she let go. 'I'm fine.'

Daniel looked as though he was going to argue but he nodded slowly. 'You know if you need anything…'

'I know.' Janet assured him. 'Thank you.'

The elevator stopped and Janet alighted. Daniel waved her goodbye with his mug as the doors closed. She paused for a moment in the empty corridor and collected herself. She needed to get Cassie home, she told herself, as she headed to the female locker room to change.

Cassie was waiting for her when she got back to the infirmary. She had dressed in a teenage uniform of jeans, a t-shirt which proclaimed her as a rebel without a cause and a matching denim jacket. Her back-pack sat on the bed beside her.

Sam stood up as Janet approached. 'Everything OK?'

Janet nodded and helped Cassie as she jumped off the bed. She grabbed the back-pack before her daughter could get to it. 'Everything's fine.' She glanced at Sam. 'The General's given me some vacation.'

Realisation sprang into Sam's eyes. 'How long?'

'A week.' Janet attempted another smile as Cassie regarded her with an unhappy frown. 'Come on. Let's get you home.'

Cassie hugged Sam and they were on their way. It was much later – once they were home and their relaxed evening of dinner and a movie was over that Cassie raised the unexpected vacation as Janet was settling her back into bed.

'You got into trouble because of me, didn't you?' Cassie asked, guilt written all over her youthful face.

Janet sighed and sat down on the bed. She stroked Cassie's bangs from her forehead. She had always believed Cassie deserved to know the truth but she hesitated a little wondering how best to phrase it. 'I got into a little trouble because of what _I_ did.'

'To save me.' Cassie countered. She sighed huffily.

'Hey. What I did was my decision and I don't regret a single moment of it.' Janet took hold of her chin and held her gaze forcefully. 'This was not your fault.'

Cassie nodded reluctantly. 'Do you think Nirrti will ever come back?' She asked hesitantly, her fingers ruffling the fur of her dog as he jumped up on the bed.

'I don't think so, honey.' Janet shook her head and let go of Cassie. 'We haven't really had a chance to talk about…everything. About what she did. About how you feel about that.'

'I wish she was dead.' Cassie said bitterly. 'She killed everyone just because she didn't want anyone to know that she was experimenting on us and I hate that's she's out there probably doing it to someone else.'

Janet smoothed the blanket flat around her daughter.

'But in some ways, it's a relief, you know? Knowing why she did it.' Cassie looked at the dog, avoiding Janet's gaze. 'At least I know why my parents died.' Her breath caught and Janet rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

'You miss them.' Janet determined.

Cassie looked at her guiltily.

'It's OK.' Janet assured her. 'They were your family and you loved them.' She said quietly. 'You're allowed to miss them, Cassie.'

'I do.' Cassie admitted huskily. 'I miss them so much.'

Janet pulled her into a consoling hug as Cassie began to cry a little. The dog whined beside her, pushing his head between them as he tried his best to provide his own brand of doggy comfort.

Cassie eventually pulled back.

'I know it's difficult, Cassie,' Janet began, 'and you have every right to be angry with Nirrti but don't let it define you. You have so much potential; don't let her spoil the rest of your life.'

'I won't.' Cassie said, accepting the tissue Janet handed her and scrubbing at her face. She lowered it sheepishly. 'I'm sorry.'

'What for?' Janet asked bemused.

'For being mean to you.' Cassie blushed. 'All the things I said. I promise I'm going to do better.'

Janet smiled at her. 'Me too.' She kissed Cassie's forehead. 'Now, it's time you got some rest, young lady.' She slid off the bed and headed for the door.

'Mom?'

'Hmmm?' Janet turned to look over her shoulder.

Cassie was snuggling into her pillows, rearranging the blankets. 'Can Dominic come over tomorrow?' She looked at Janet hopefully.

And there was her perfectly normal teenage daughter, Janet thought wryly. 'We'll see.'

'Mom!' Cassie protested.

Janet grinned and closed the door.


	7. Burdens of Guilt

**Author's Note:** Team friendship. Sam/Jack UST. In Remembrance for all those who fought for freedom.

**Beast of Burden Recap**: _Daniel is reviewing video of a tape he has left on Chaka's planet. It shows Chaka being captured by a group of humans using staff __weapons. He lobbies Hammond to investigate feeling responsible for the Unas getting captured having befriended him. Although Jack doesn't really care about the Unas, he does care about the weapons. Hammond gives them a go. _

_They gate to the planet and watch from afar a rustic village where the Unas are being treated as slaves or domesticated wild animals. Jack and Daniel go to investigate and speaking to the lead trader they learn that the planet used to be under the rule of a Goa'uld who used Unas to guard the humans. But when the Goa'uld left the humans eventually revolted and the Unas became the slaves. However, the trader notes that the Unas are becoming untrainable due to inbreeding. _

_The trader leads them to Chaka who is being held in a barn. He is fresh genetic material. Daniel claims Chaka as his but the trader insists that he will only trade Chaka for two more Unas of equal quality. Jack says they'll think about it. As they leave the village, Daniel argues that they have to do something. Jack notes that they can't take the Unas by force without risking human life. Daniel argues that they should be able to avoid that._

_They confer with Sam and Teal'c; that night Jack and Daniel go into the barn to rescue Chaka but when the Unas tries to insist on his fellow captives being allowed to go free too, Jack and Daniel are captured. They are tortured by the lead trader. Sam and Teal'c rescue them and they flee to the Stargate with Chaka and some other Unas. The Unas move forward to draw out the village men who are hidden to ambush them. Chaka kills the trader. He tells Daniel goodbye; Chaka intends remaining and freeing the Unas. Daniel realises that he has started a civil war as he turns to leave._

**Burdens of Guilt**

The video played endlessly in Daniel Jackson's head.

He could see Chaka, the Unas who he had befriended, approaching the energy bar. The reptilian features seemed expressionless but Daniel had been studying the Unas for a while. He could see there had been delight in Chaka's yellowy-green eyes; pleasure as he had sniffed the air, scenting the food. Chaka had grasped the treat with the knowledge that it had been his friend Daniel who had visited.

When the humans had appeared from the trees, Chaka had been wary but Daniel was his friend and humans were not a food source or an enemy to be feared any longer. He had stretched out his claw and offered the food. He had been shot and captured for his trouble.

Daniel rolled over in his bed and stared at the ceiling.

It had been his fault.

His fault.

He had unknowingly baited the trap the men had used; he had been responsible for befriending Chaka, making him open to human approach.

The ticking of the clock was loud. It broke through the frigid silence. Each tick echoing in the room. In his head.

'_Chaka!'_

_The sound of the staff weapon discharging. The stench of burned flesh; the odour and taste stuck in his nostrils, in his throat. The dead look in the trader's eyes._

He had gone to the planet to free Chaka and erase his guilt but things hadn't exactly gone to plan. When had any of their plans ever gone to plan, Daniel mused with bittersweet amusement. He scratched his bare shoulder almost absently before he tucked his hands behind the pillow under his head. He watched the shadows play across the ceiling.

Their first attempt to free Chaka had resulted in himself and Jack O'Neill being captured during the rescue. Guilt curdled in his gut again. He had insisted on the rescue; Jack hadn't wanted to do it. Actually, Daniel thought, his face creasing with puzzlement, he really had no idea why Jack had agreed to the rescue. There was no tactical or military reason why they should have freed Chaka. It would have made sense to have walked away. Daniel frowned, squinting into the semi-darkness.

Why had Jack agreed?

Maybe he had actually listened to him. Daniel snorted. OK, maybe not but what other reason could there have been? _Never leave a man behind._ The rule zipped into Daniel's head like a freight train. Jack lived by the code. Maybe he had extended it to Chaka. Maybe.

Daniel sighed and closed his eyes. Why Jack had agreed to the rescue was a mystery but he had and the older man had been tortured by the trader as a result. Daniel had truly been scared the sneering bully was going to kill Jack at one point. Of course, a Jack in captivity never made things easy for himself; sarcastic, belligerent and more apt to infuriate the hell out of their captors than try and smooth the waters. Not that Daniel could exactly blame him; the trader had been particularly loathsome.

It wasn't Jack's fault, Daniel reminded himself; it had been his for insisting they rescue Chaka. In trying to help one friend, he'd almost got another killed. He turned restlessly, moving to lie on his side. He stared at the clock; barely making the time out between the dark and his natural eyesight. Two a.m. He was supposed to be sleeping. He closed his eyes again; willed his muscles to relax. The tick of the clock sounded loudly in his ear.

At least Teal'c and Samantha Carter had rescued them, Daniel mused. Plan B had worked like a charm. They and the Unas had headed for the forest. There had been an ambush waiting for them but they had fought and Chaka had killed the lead trader.

Daniel opened his eyes. He had called out; told Chaka not to kill him. The Unas had made his own decision. Chaka had also decided to stay; to fight for freedom for the Unas on the planet. Daniel could hardly blame him; he'd had no right to stop him. He'd tried to explain as he'd left though that Chaka didn't have to kill. Even so, they had started a war.

'Yep.' Daniel murmured in the darkness, rubbing a hand over his tired face. 'Way to make a difference.'

That's all he really wanted to do – make a difference. Make the world and the galaxy a better place. He winced. He sounded like a Coke commercial. He was suddenly thirsty. He sat up and shoved the covers back. He padded his way into the kitchen without turning on the lights and filled a glass with water. He sipped it at the sink. The cool liquid slid down his throat. The glass was hard against his teeth, smooth in his hand. He took another sip. He shivered. It was cold and he was only wearing boxers.

He glanced across the kitchen to his coffee machine. His fingers tapped against the glass he held and he finally gave in. He placed it on the counter-top and opened cupboards. Five minutes later the sound of coffee percolating filled the silence; the drip and hiss of the machine a familiar comforting sound in the darkness. Daniel wandered back into the bedroom and grabbed his glasses. He shivered again and detoured to the bathroom for the terry cloth robe Sam had bought him for Christmas. He shrugged into it, leaving it unfastened. The kitchen beckoned him with the scent of coffee and he poured himself a large mug.

He inhaled the rich bitter scent before blowing lightly on the surface of the liquid and taking a gulp. It was almost too hot; it stung his tongue and throat but it warmed him. Ten minutes later, he was curled up on his sofa, a lamp illuminating the small space where he sat. The mug of coffee was forgotten on the table as he began translating an old manuscript that he had brought home with him. It had been found by SG18 on PY5893; a planet with the ruins of a great civilisation. It was a strange language; old Greek and some variant of Latin or French. The translation was eluding him.

He scribbled in a notebook as a thought hit him; trying to search for common patterns; testing the meaning with first Greek, then Latin, then French. He worked diligently. The thoughts that had plagued him since he had returned home were silenced as his mind turned to the puzzle of the language.

It was daybreak when he cracked it; the language giving way and offering up its secrets as the first rays of light filtered through the balcony windows. He quickly finished the translation. He read through it again; satisfied. It was a letter from a father to a son leaving for battle. It spoke of hopes and dreams; it offered comfort and reassurance of home; it spoke of pride. His eyes travelled over the last section, one more time…

_For you, my son, protect us in this time of war. You take arms not for the sake of violence but to defend; you offer your life so that we remain free. You, to whom all life is sacred, you step forward to save us from this Evil which would destroy us. You stand as a good man, an honourable man. _

_Remember this on the battlefield when blood is shed and the ground is muddy with bodies of friend and foe, I am proud of you, my son. Remember this when you wonder if you can take another step, or fire your weapon one more time, or see Death approach; I will always be proud and you will always be my son._

Daniel nudged his glasses up until they perched on his head and he rubbed at his sore eyes. He took a gulp of the cold coffee and grimaced at the taste but took another. He picked up the manuscript carefully.

'I will always be proud and you will always be my son.' He repeated softly. He wondered if his father had lived if he would have been proud of him. Would his father have understood his theories? Agreed with him? Stood beside him when the rest of the archaeology world dismissed him as a fruitcake?

Would he have approved of the path Daniel had taken? Would he have understood why Daniel was fighting a war? Would he have been proud?

His memories of his father were vague and fuzzy; disjointed. He remembered warm, strong arms picking him up when he had fallen; a large, warm hand holding his as they walked through a loud, noisy market in some foreign land, the rumble of his voice as he had read to him. He hadn't truly known his father beyond the journals, the archaeology books and papers that Melburn Jackson had written. They spoke of a liberal academic; a deeply intelligent man who cared about the cultures he studied and someone who had protested against war and violence.

What had he done to make his father proud, Daniel questioned harshly. The war was his doing; he had gone to Abydos, started a revolution and killed Ra. He had unburied the Abydos Stargate and lost his wife, Sha're. He had failed to find her; to save her. The only good thing he had ever done was to have left her child, Shifu, with an alien protector – and even then the alien had almost had to hit him over the head before he had gotten the message.

Shifu hadn't bothered to be so subtle when he had visited. The dream Shifu had given him had shown Daniel just how close he had wandered down a path of anger. He had told Shifu that he would choose another path, and maybe he wasn't angry any more, maybe he didn't want to wipe the Goa'uld – any Goa'uld – from the existence anymore but he had remained stuck, walking the same old rut. The only difference he was making, as far as he could see, was to make things worse. He needed a new path. The question was what? He didn't belong in the academia of the archaeology world anymore; Abydos was too painful without Sha're and there were Goa'uld everywhere throughout the rest of the known galaxy. As much as he hated to admit it, the SGC was the only place for him and he couldn't deny that SG1 was the only family he had.

He picked up the coffee and took another gulp as he set aside the manuscript and got to his feet. He stretched; his neck and shoulders were knotted from sitting awkwardly for so long. He yawned. His phone rang. The shrill tone startled him; his heart pounded as he went to answer it.

'Daniel.' Jack greeted him grumpily.

'Jack.' Daniel checked the clock on the kitchen wall. It was barely six.

'The base just called.' Jack informed him briskly. 'Apparently the Tok'ra have turned up with something.'

'OK. I'll see you there.' Daniel said. He dropped the phone back into its cradle and headed for a shower. He guessed he'd worry about a new path tomorrow, he decided.

o-O-o

Jack slapped his phone back down beside the bed and stood up, stretching as his body protested. Daniel had been his only call; Teal'c had disappeared to Chulak immediately after their last mission because of a communication from Bra'tac, and according to Sergeant Harriman, Carter was at the base already. She seemed to spend more time there than ever. Not thinking about Carter, Jack reminded himself brusquely as he made for his bathroom. Ten minutes later he was showered and shaved. It took him five to get dressed. Another five minutes and he was in his truck.

He turned the heater up high and turned the music off. It was too early even for the gentle aria. He enjoyed the relative silence; the huff of the heater, the swish and swash of the wipers across the windshield, the hum of the powerful engine.

Daniel had sounded tired, Jack thought absently as he turned onto the main road. Knowing the younger man he guessed Daniel had been up all night worrying over what had happened with the Unas. Jack grimaced and for a second he was back in the cell, the electricity riding his entire body; his muscles and flesh in agony. He shook the memory away. It had not been one of their best efforts. Still, they had got home even if they had started another revolution on the way.

Jack pulled a face. If he was honest, he wasn't exactly comfortable with what had happened. The Unas were intelligent beings – he got that – but he still regarded Chaka as the Unas who had abducted Daniel when all was said and done. He definitely didn't feel like they owed him anything and while he hadn't exactly approved of the whole slavery take, he could appreciate how it had happened and why.

All of which begged the question why he'd given into Daniel's urgings and attempted to rescue Chaka. Maybe he'd just been tired of Daniel's arguments, or maybe it had been the look in Daniel's eyes, Jack mused. The look that said he needed to rescue Chaka; that he needed a win given the number of knocks they'd suffered lately. Jack sighed. He should have followed his gut and gone back to the Stargate as soon as they had ascertained the planet held no technological value to Earth. Instead, they'd ended up letting loose an Unas intent on freeing his people and Chaka seemed just as serious about it as Teal'c was about freeing the Jaffa. He wondered whether the humans on the planet would suffer or whether Chaka would heed Daniel's words that he didn't have to kill. Chaka had killed the lead trader guy and that Jack wasn't too bothered about that having been tortured by the guy, but there were innocents among the human population.

Guilt stirred in his gut.

Not his problem, Jack reminded himself. The population of the planet were responsible for the set-up there, for the slavery and mistreatment of the Unas. Maybe SG1 had stirred things up but they took that risk every time they stepped through the Stargate. They fixed what they could but there was always going to be times when they couldn't. As far as Jack was concerned they had learned that particular lesson after the debacle on K'Tau. They had made a mistake, they had tried to fix it even though the locals hadn't wanted their help, and in the end it had looked like they hadn't succeeded at all. It was very likely that the Asgard had stepped in and saved the day.

He came to a halt at a set of traffic lights and took advantage of the stop to turn the heating down a notch and roll his shoulders. He'd once thought the Stargate programme was his chance for redemption, a chance to put the somewhat morally ambiguous deeds of the past behind him but he was beginning to question whether that was possible. War was always filled with shades of grey between the black and the white. Maybe he'd made the decision to never deliberately dabble in the black again but it seemed to become harder with each passing year to stay in the white.

Jack frowned. His thought of a year passing by hitting some kind of mental chord. He searched his memory and almost missed the red light when he realised why. He braked hard; the tail of the truck fishtailing a little as the vehicle came to an abrupt halt. Jack sat back in his seat; his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly.

A year. It had been a year. A year since he had sat strapped into a chair and forced to admit to a select audience that he cared about Carter more than he should; that he would rather die than lose her; a year since she had done the same and they had agreed nothing had to leave the room, that they could handle their confessions and continue serving on SG1 together because they needed to put the mission first.

A horn beeped and startled Jack from his memories. A glance at the lights confirmed his suspicion that they had turned green and he moved off with a reluctant wave to the guy behind him in mute apology.

A year.

He could hardly believe it. He could hardly believe it had happened and he could hardly believe the mess they – he – had made of everything since. He shifted in his seat, his thoughts straying back despite his attempt to focus on the road and his driving.

When the za'tarc tests had happened, he and Carter had only just started to acknowledge that there were feelings between them, feelings that were way more than the nebulous team bond the frat regulations allowed and the frisson of attraction they'd always had. Feelings that they couldn't explore because if they did they risked the team, risked their mission. Leaving it in the room with the hope of maybe, possibly, one day, had seemed the best option even if in truth there had been disappointment along with the relief. Only leaving it in the room had been almost undoable especially after they'd gotten closer when their memories had been suppressed, when they'd only had the feelings. And in the end, even just feeling feelings had proved too dangerous.

'_I have observed. You value the life of one. This one is important.' The entity's voice sounded harshly from the synthesiser as it looked out from Sam's blue eyes. _

_Jack had tensed; hating that it was inside Carter; hating it. 'She is.'_

'_For this reason this one was chosen. You will not terminate this one in order to destroy me.'_

Maybe the entity had chosen to possess Carter because of her value to the SGC but Jack had always wondered, always feared it had chosen Carter because it had observed Jack's feelings for her. He had fooled himself before it had happened into believing that feeling feelings didn't matter, that they could still do the job but he had been wrong. Their feelings – his feelings had placed her in danger. He had failed to protect her; as a man, as her commanding officer. Worse, he had almost killed her – had thought he had.

_His arm raised; blue lightening shooting out. _

_Carter's crumpled body on the floor._

It was over, Jack told himself briskly, ignoring the corrosive guilt that ate at his gut. Carter had lived and since then they had made the difficult, painful move back to a primarily professional relationship. As far as Jack could tell, Carter had already moved on. She had developed a relationship with a glowy alien who had followed her home and, although it had ended when the alien had sacrificed his life to save her, Jack figured it was a sign. Jack had known she would move on given the chance; he was just a beaten-up old soldier with a ton of baggage. Carter was young, beautiful and a genius. She could do better than him; had done better given that the alien in question had been an advanced being. So, he was moving on too.

His mind drifted to the old acquaintance he had run into at the grocery store the previous weekend; Amy Castle. She had been a neighbour when he and Sara had been married. Charlie had been a couple of years older than her daughter Daisy. She was an attractive brunette with a wide smile and a good sense of humour. She had just recently divorced Daisy's father and had made it clear to Jack that she wouldn't be averse to meeting up for drinks. He still had her business card in his kitchen drawer. He'd been meaning to call her…

Jack sighed in frustration as a wave of guilt hit. It made no sense that it felt like he was cheating on Carter. It wasn't as though they'd had any kind of agreement not to see other people or that she hadn't moved on herself with Mr Glowy-Alien-Guy. But it didn't feel right to call Amy given the anniversary and, if he had remembered it, he was certain Carter had remembered it especially as the day had ended with Carter killing the Tok'ra Martouf who had been turned into za'tarc and programmed to kill the President. Martouf had also been the mate of the Tok'ra symbiote who had taken Carter as a host briefly and she had felt the full force of her grief and Jolinar's. He felt a frisson of remembered guilt that he hadn't been able to shoot Martouf before Carter…

Jack's heart sank.

It was so not shaping up to be a good day.

o-O-o

Teal'c stepped through the Stargate and onto the ramp with a clatter. He ignored the raised looks at the traditional Jaffa warrior garb he wore and nodded at General Hammond as he came to a stop before the SGC commander.

'Teal'c.' Hammond greeted him warmly. 'It's good to have you back. Your meeting with the other Jaffa leaders went well?' He gestured and they both turned for the gate room door.

'Indeed.' Teal'c agreed as he handed over his staff weapon to the waiting Sergeant. They detoured into the control room and up the stairs. 'More Jaffa join our cause every day.'

'That's good news.' Hammond murmured as they reached the briefing room. 'Well, your timing is excellent.'

Teal'c raised a questioning eyebrow.

'The Tok'ra arrived thirty minutes ago.' Hammond explained. 'They believe they've found something of interest.'

'To them or to us?' Teal'c asked dryly.

Hammond laughed appreciatively, pausing outside his office. 'Good question. The briefing will be an hour. Doctor Jackson and Colonel O'Neill are on their way in.'

'And Major Carter?' Teal'c checked.

'Already on base.' Hammond said briskly.

Teal'c inclined his head unsurprised. Major Carter often spent additional hours working on technology in addition to their missions. 'I will change.'

'Good idea.' Hammond smiled at him fondly and went into his office.

Teal'c made his way to the elevator quickly. He went straight to the infirmary for the mandatory checks. They were quick and efficient, and he was back in his quarters before too much time had passed. He briefly debated using the communal locker room to shower and change. Since his brainwashing incident, he had noticed that many of the Tau'ri were not comfortable with him alone without the presence of Colonel O'Neill or Daniel Jackson. There were looks and glances; one young nurse had refused to treat him although Teal'c could not recall seeing her in the infirmary since. It was best, he decided, to stay in his quarters.

A moment later he was under a hot stream of water, the dust and grime of Chulak washed away. He turned his face up to the spray and enjoyed the beat against his skin, over his closed eyelids, on his lips. He pushed the water over his smooth, bald head and allowed it to cascade on the muscles of his neck and back, a gentle massage that loosened the tension that had gathered.

It had been a difficult meeting.

The different Jaffa factions were beginning to bite at each other; the tribes had been at war for a long time and their shared cause was new to many of them. It was hard to keep them focused; hard for the discussions not to fall into petty bickering over unimportant minutiae rather than the larger questions of what their tactics should be. He had managed to quell the worst of the arguing but he feared if the Jaffa could not agree on how to work together, they would fall apart.

'_They need leadership, Teal'c.' Bra'tac told him as Teal'c dialled the gate._

'_They have a leader, old friend.' Teal'c clasped his shoulder and squeezed it fondly._

_Bra'tac smiled but it did not reach his eyes. 'I am an old man. They need you.'_

_Teal'c turned away and took a step toward the wormhole._

'_Teal'c.' Bra'tac's commanding tone still worked as it once did. _

_Teal'c stopped. He did not turn back. 'I am not worthy to lead.' He had been brainwashed by Apophis; weak. His honour was stained._

_Bra'tac walked until he was in front of him. 'Do not let Apophis destroy what you have built.'_

_Teal'c could not meet Bra'tac's fierce gaze. He walked past the old warrior._

'_Drey'auc and Rya'c await word from you.' Bra'tac called out._

_The mention of his former wife and of his son halted him a second time. He lowered his head._

_Bra'tac sighed. 'What shall I tell them?'_

'_Tell them…' Teal'c hesitated; what message could he send them? He could not visit them; could not look upon his son while he felt so dishonoured. 'Tell them that I miss them greatly.' He walked away before Bra'tac could say another word._

Guilt swamped him. Guilt that he could not be the leader Bra'tac believed him to be; guilt that he could not be the father to Rya'c that he had hoped to be; guilt that he had been undone through Apophis's brainwashing. Guilt for the things that he had done during that time; betraying his friends, attempting to kill them, plotting against them.

Teal'c pushed the guilt away violently.

He was Jaffa.

He would not cower in a bathroom like a weak tar'ek. There was a mission. He would not let his friends down. Not again. He slapped the water off and left the shower.

o-O-o

She wasn't hiding.

Sam grimaced, her delicate features screwed up into an impressive frown. OK, she sighed, maybe she was hiding just a little bit from the Tok'ra Aldwin who had arrived with some mission for SG1.

She sat down on the stool and dropped her head into her hands. She'd initially been excited when the Tok'ra ID had come through. She had hoped it was her father especially given the date and…her mind shied away from the conclusion to that sentence. She rubbed her face vigorously. She was just tired, Sam mused defensively; just tired. It had nothing to do with…no. Not thinking about _that_, Sam reminded herself briskly.

She was just tired because she had been up late running tests on a new piece of technology SG15 had brought back. It was a spherical device which had generated some kind of subspace field. Sam had hypothesised that it was a component part of a larger device; maybe a hyperdrive engine. Her tests had been inconclusive. At three a.m. she had admitted defeat and smothered the thing in bubble wrap to send to Area 51.

They were giving her less and less time with the science stuff, Sam mused. She'd heard rumours of a new tech guy there and a lot of the diagnostic issues with the Stargate were being referred to him now. Maybe she was losing her edge as the leading authority on the Stargate with the amount of time she spent off-world; maybe she wasn't trusted anymore after the whole keeping Orlin in her house affair. She rolled her blue eyes dismissively at the thought. And maybe, she thought wryly, she was jealous for no reason of some poor geeky guy buried in Area 51 who never got to see the Stargate.

And maybe, she realised a little more soberly, her confidence had taken a knock of late. The Orlin thing had been the start of it when even the Colonel hadn't trusted her about seeing an alien but she knew the disaster on K'Tau had added to it. She had pressed the button that could have caused the end of a world. Sam shook herself free of the guilt that had her whole body cringing at the memory. They had fixed it or the Asgard had fixed it. Disaster averted. She bit her lip.

SG1 were just spending more and more time off-world trying to find an advantage – any advantage against the Goa'uld. Maybe it was just her but it felt like since they had finally put an end to Apophis it had gotten harder not easier. She sighed and swivelled on the stool to face her computer. She had another thirty minutes before the briefing; she could write up her notes on the spherical device and send them to the CO at Area 51. A knock on her lab door interrupted the thought and she frowned. She called out for the person to enter and her heart sank as Aldwin walked in.

'Major Carter.' Aldwin bowed slightly, his light brown hair flopping into eyes the same colour. 'I hope I am not interrupting you.'

Sam glanced at her computer before turning back to Aldwin with a bright smile. 'What can I do for you?'

'I have a message from your father.' Aldwin reached into the small leather satchel that he carried – the strap cutting across his beige Tok'ra tunic diagonally. He pulled out a package and handed it to Sam.

She took it with a quizzical look and fingered the leather bindings. 'What is it?'

'Your father did not say.' Aldwin said. 'He merely asked that I deliver it to you personally as he could not come himself.'

Sam nodded. 'Thank you.'

Aldwin made another small bow and left, closing the door behind him. Sam tapped the folder thoughtfully. Her father rarely sent communications and he had just visited Earth a week or so before. She undid the ties and pulled out a computer memory disc and a sheaf of paper.

_Sam,_

_I followed up on the za'tarc research as you asked and transfered what I could to the computer disc. I'm sorry I can't be there to tell you this in person. I want you to know that if I had known, I would have told you._

_Remember I love you, kiddo. _

_Dad x_

Sam made a face. She turned the disc over in her fingers. She had asked the Tok'ra on so many occasions for the za'tarc information but she had always been stonewalled. When her father had visited to pick up a sample of a substance SG1 had acquired and which Earth had shared with the Tok'ra, Sam had reminded her father that the Tok'ra still owed them the information on the za'tarcs. He had admitted that he had no idea of the specifics as he had been kept out of the project but he had promised to find out what he could. Evidently, he had kept his promise.

She turned the disc over again. Sam wasn't sure if she was up to looking at the information. It wasn't a good day; it was the worst day. It was the day she had…grief rushed through her.

Guilt wormed inside and prickled her skin into goose-bumps.

Sam closed her eyes and let the image take over.

_Martouf in the gate room; his eyes on hers begging her to end his life._

'_Samantha!'_

_Her hand squeezing on the zat a final time; the weight of his body in her arms._

Her eyes snapped open and she hastily swiped at the tears that had seeped out. She owed it to Martouf, she thought strongly. He had begged her to end his life in part to enable the research into the za'tarc programming; to leave them with his brain intact and whole so it could be examined. She owed it to him to look at the research. She inserted the disc into the computer.

A data stream of Goa'uld appeared on the screen and she ran it through the translation programme. It took a moment before the words began to form on the screen. She frowned as she read through the data.

'That can't be right.' Sam muttered.

_Stasis. A long term solution to reversing the effects of the za'tarc programming is to be found. _

He was alive.

Martouf was alive.

Sam looked at the screen unable to make the words make sense.

No.

She had killed him.

He had died in her arms.

Sam reached up with a trembling hand to the keyboard. She paged through the report.

_Host continues to deteriorate; it may become necessary to take him out of stasis and extract the symbiote._

Sam shook her head. She reread through the data. Martouf's body had initially died with the two zats; she had killed him but his symbiote, Lantash, had somehow sustained him. It had been Lantash who had agreed to stasis while the Tok'ra tried to find a solution to the za'tarc programming to save Martouf.

A riot of emotions surged through.

Shock.

Anger.

Why the hell hadn't the Tok'ra told them? They could have helped; they could have tried to find a solution together. She had thought she had killed him…

Air. She needed air. She needed to breathe.

Her eyes caught on the clock on her computer. She was expected at the briefing. She had to leave. Her hand was shaking as she switched off the monitor.

A rap on the door jolted her. It opened before she could pretend she wasn't there.

'Carter?'

Her heart sank. She had hoped she would see the Colonel in the briefing room where the others would provide cover. She couldn't deal with Jack; couldn't deal with…it – that thing between them that they had confessed to a year before. He'd moved on so fast after the incident with the entity and had treated her so completely professionally in the weeks and months since that Sam sometimes she wondered if it had ever happened; if he had ever confessed to caring about her more than he should. And she hadn't moved on. Oh, she'd taken some comfort in Orlin's adoration, been fond enough to hide him but she hadn't loved Orlin not the way she…

'Sir?' She kept her back to him and reached for the folder, tidying around the computer to delay turning to face him.

'You ready to go?' Jack asked.

'I just need a few minutes, sir.' Sam bluffed. 'I'll meet you up there.'

She heard the sound of the door closing and breathed a sigh of relief before she stiffened with some inner instinct.

'Carter.' His voice was almost gentle and she closed her eyes in the futile hope that he would disappear.

He had remembered, Sam realised. He had remembered the date; remembered that a year before they had confessed feeling feelings they weren't supposed to feel.

'Martouf's alive.' Sam blurted the words out and lowered her head at the surge of guilt. She couldn't believe she'd just used what she had learned to avoid talking with the Colonel.

'Carter.'

He was using his 'I think you may be delusional' tone and she almost smiled.

'My Dad sent me the za'tarc research, sir.' Sam was proud that her voice was even. 'I did kill Martouf but when they got him back to the Tok'ra base they realised that Lantash was sustaining his vital functions. They put him in stasis in the hope that they would find some way of reversing the za'tarc programming.'

'Stasis?' He sounded closer.

'I think some kind of cryogenics, sir.' Sam swung round to face him.

Jack looked completely bemused. He stood by her central workbench; a mere couple of feet behind her. His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his green BDU pants. 'So.' He raised his eyebrows. 'Not dead.'

'No, sir.' Sam agreed tightly. 'Not dead.'

Jack regarded her solemnly. 'Pissed?'

Sam's lips twitched unwillingly; he read her so well. 'A little, sir.'

He raised an eyebrow in an unconscious mimic of their Jaffa team-mate.

She sighed dramatically. 'OK, a lot.'

Their eyes met and Sam felt her stomach lurch at the warm look in his eyes; at his complete understanding of how she felt and why.

She had to turn away from it. 'They could have told me, sir.'

'They could have.' Jack agreed. 'You know if you want me to yell at them, I can do that.'

Her lips curved and she looked over her shoulder at him. 'I don't think you ever need an excuse to do that, sir.'

Jack smiled lopsidedly.

Their eyes held again.

'So,' Jack's smiled faded and cleared his throat; he nodded in the direction of the door, 'we should probably…'

Sam nodded. 'Yes, sir.'

Jack spun on his heel and she fell into step beside him as they headed out of her lab. They made it to the elevator before Jack looked at her quizzically.

'I guess this briefing is about the zarc thing?'

Sam shook her head. 'No, sir. I asked my Dad to look into the za'tarc research and he sent me the information via Aldwin.'

'So, this briefing is about what exactly?' Jack asked, rocking back on his heels.

'Your guess is as good as mine, sir.' Sam replied.

'Ah.' Jack glanced at her briefly. 'Bad timing, don't you think?'

Sam's breath caught in her throat but she held his eyes with her own, silently acknowledging that he knew; that she knew he knew. She nodded, a rush of guilt that she hadn't wanted him to say anything mixed with a pleased gratitude that he had.

'Yes, sir.' Sam agreed as the elevator stopped and the doors opened to admit their team-mates.

Daniel looked at them and frowned. He looked exhausted as though he hadn't slept at all. He gestured between Jack and Sam. 'Are we interrupting?'

Teal'c looked at them expectantly.

Sam exchanged a look with the Colonel.

'No.' They replied in unison.

The doors slid closed.

Yep, thought Sam sadly; bad timing.


	8. Buried Truth

**Author's Note: **Sam/Jack UST. Jack/Sara. Mention of Jack/Other. Daniel/Jack friendship.

**The Tomb Recap**: _SG1 are outside a ziggurat, trying to get in when Sam discovers an empty packet of cigarettes – Russian. They return home to investigate and Hammond tells them that apparently the Russians did visit the planet during the brief time they ran a programme. It was 'off-the-record' and involved a prominent Russian archaeologist. SG1 will return to the planet with a Russian team to find out what happened to the other Russians._

_During the briefing and ahead of departure, the Russian Colonel, Zukhov and Jack verbally spar. Jack notes that he is in charge of the mission and the chain of command goes through him. They go to the planet. After a while, Daniel finds a way into the ziggurat, and they all troop inside. They discover a body where the flesh has been eaten. Unfortunately, one of the Russians sets off a hidden trap by the sarcophagus and the door begins to close. One of the Russian soldiers is trapped and crushed by the door; everyone else is sealed inside._

_The sarcophagus reveals the dead body of Marduke, but they realise he was buried in the sarcophagus with a creature. They split up to find the creature and discover the other bodies. Zukhov also discovers the Eye of Tiamat – the powerful artefact that the Russians were after. He hides it. Meanwhile, Sam and a Russian Lieutenant are attacked – the Lt badly wounded. But Sam realises the Goa'uld Marduke is alive inside the creature. When the body of the creature is discovered without the symbiote, they realise any one of them could be the Goa'uld. It is in one of the Russians; Vallarin. _

_Vallarin confronts Zukhov and Jack who are in a stand-off. Zukhov buries them by setting off a grenade. Jack escapes back to the sarcophagus room where Daniel has discovered rings. They set some C4 and as Marduke runs in, SG1 with the injured Russian soldier ring out. The ziggurat explodes. _

_Back at the SGC, the Russian liaison is angry that only one Russian returned from the mission while all of SG1 made it back while Jack is angry that the Russians went with a hidden agenda._

**Buried Truth**

Everyone at Stargate Command was giving Jack O'Neill a wide berth. It wasn't just that the mission with the Russians had gone spectacularly badly or that the Colonel was unhappy with the Russians but that Jack was visibly furious in a way that any living being with an ounce of self-preservation took to mean 'keep away if you value your life.'

Daniel Jackson wondered whether he didn't value his life – he didn't think he'd become that sangfroid about his existence because despite Jack's teasing he had only come back from the dead two or three times really – or whether his decision to see if the other man wanted to talk about it denoted he had finally lost all notion of sanity. Perhaps the fact that he had chosen to watch from the doorway was the last vestige of it, Daniel mused as he watched Jack punching the bag across the room. Daniel made himself comfortable, leaning on the doorframe with one shoulder flush against the wood, his legs crossed at the ankle, arms crossed over the ubiquitous black t-shirt and unbuttoned blue BDU shirt he wore.

Jack was hitting the punching bag hard enough to produce little puffs of dust with each attack. He was moving around swiftly, bouncing and darting left then right; jabbing with his right then his left; hard, rhythmic punches that had a language all of their own. The military man was covered in sweat and Daniel knew Jack had been in the workout room for almost an hour. He had disappeared into it immediately following a session with the Russian liaison Colonel Chekov. Daniel had a feeling the review of their mission with the Russian team had not gone well, but then as Hammond and Jack had ordered the rest of SG1 to stay away from it, Daniel figured the assumption had always been that it would go spectacularly bad.

Not surprising, Daniel mused. SG1 had made it back with a full team complement but only Lieutenant Tolinev had survived from the Russian team; one man had been crushed in an attempt to escape the ziggurat; the team leader Zukhov had died trying to take out his own man Vallarin who had been taken as a host by the Goa'uld Marduke. SG1 had killed Marduke and by extension Vallarin when they had blown up the ziggurat just as they had ringed out to safety.

The Russians had a right to be angry at the seemingly inequal survival rate yet Daniel couldn't help but empathise with Jack's frustration. Jack might have been obvious in his dislike of working with the Russian team but the Russian commander had been equally obvious in his dislike of submitting to a US Colonel. Neither had exactly made it easy; he and Jack had crossed swords and the Russians had chafed against Jack's commands. More, the Russians had set out for the mission with additional orders to find an ancient artefact – the Eye of Tiamat. It was said to give great power and, after working for so many years with the SGC, after battling the Goa'uld for so long, Daniel could appreciate why the Russians wanted to get their hands on the thing. In fact, the Eye was one of several. Daniel had looked into the legend when they'd gotten back to the SGC. They were fascinating and…and a good way of distracting him from why he was stood waiting for Jack to tire of punching something, he thought wryly.

Daniel scrunched his nose up. In many ways he could appreciate why Jack wanted to punch the hell out of something. Jack hated secret orders screwing up a mission but Daniel knew that wasn't it. What Jack hated more was losing people in the field; he always took it hard and even though he'd had problems with the Russians, Daniel figured Jack was feeling responsible. Although, he mused as he considered the dark look in Jack's eyes, the level of the other man's fury was beginning to worry him.

The last time he had seen Jack as incandescently furious had been on K'Tau when one of the natives had sabotaged Earth's efforts to help fix the issue SG1 had caused with the K'Tau Sun. The SGC had lost two good men that day and Jack had held a gun to the man responsible, safety off, ready to shoot. In hindsight, Daniel still wasn't certain what had stopped Jack; his pleas, those of the K'Tau spiritual leader or their team-mate Samantha Carter.

The archaeologist winced. Sam was definitely touchy subject number two. There was no doubt in his mind that his two military team-mates had fallen in love with each other but there was also no doubt that they had seemingly put it behind them and decided to put their mission first as their oaths as officers demanded. Daniel didn't understand it. He knew if his late wife Sha're had lived, he would never have been able to lock his feelings away and pretend they didn't exist. But Daniel couldn't deny the couple's decision suited his own agenda; SG1 was his constant. If Jack and Sam had ever officially recognised how they felt about each other or if they had decided to explore what was between them, then it would have been the end of SG1. Daniel could admit in his most selfish moments he was pleased that they continued with the status quo even if he suspected it was making them miserable.

Very miserable.

And with Jack, angry.

Very angry.

Daniel figured he knew the exact moment Jack had got angry: that one instant when a computer entity had possessed Sam because she had tried talking with it. The military man had ended up shooting Sam to save the base and had believed that he had killed her. It seemed to have forced something of a final decision about their feelings and Daniel had come to the slow realisation that his two friends had been making an effort to be more professional around each other ever since. He guessed he understood why on some level; Jack had been devastated when he had thought he had killed Sam. Daniel figured the professional barriers they had erected were meant to protect them if a similar situation happened in the future.

He didn't know when he had noticed that they had become solely Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter around each other; just that he had. They protected each other, cared for each other – that hadn't changed – but there was hardly any personal interaction; no flirting, no occasional touches and no lingering looks, no Jack or Sam peeking out from behind the uniforms. They were so professional it made Daniel hurt just watching them. It wasn't just out on missions that it had affected them either. It had led to them, and by consequence the team, not spending as much time together off base as they had in the past. The last time SG1 had spent down-time together was just after Sam had hidden an alien in her house and the subsequent fallout. They had spent an evening trying to distract Sam with dinner and Star Wars, and then they had helped her get her house straight.

Daniel wasn't sure what had happened with the alien; Sam hadn't volunteered much beyond the basic details and Daniel hadn't asked. He knew Sam had been upset at the death of the alien but then the alien had saved her life. Daniel had a feeling that nothing had actually happened _happened_ beyond the weird spirit sharing he had read about in a report. He had a feeling Jack thought the opposite especially as they had all assumed that Sam had found a boyfriend before the revelation it was an alien had come out.

Which brought him full circle to Jack's anger.

He figured much of Jack's latent anger was frustration about had happened with Sam; about having to sacrifice his personal happiness to fulfil his professional duty, in believing Sam had quickly found someone else. Incidents with the K'Tau and the Russians just added to it and gave Jack excuses albeit valid excuses to bring the whole writhing angry mess to the surface.

Focus on the Russians, Daniel told himself. Jack was much less likely to punch him if he just focused on the Russians although even that wasn't guaranteed. He remembered Teal'c's raised eyebrow when he had gone searching for the Colonel and asked the Jaffa if he knew where Jack was.

'_Are you sure it is wise to approach him at this time, Daniel Jackson?'_

Teal'c's question was echoing in his head as Daniel watched Jack thump the bag in a flurry of quick jabs; sharp and hard. Sam had simply told him to check the gym and that she would alert the infirmary.

'_Funny.' Daniel had replied. _

Jack was slowing down in his punching; his body finally running out of energy and giving way to fatigue. Jack suddenly stopped completely, slumping against the punching bag briefly as though he was hugging it before he pushed himself off the battered leather and made his way to the bench. Daniel took it as his cue to move from the doorway.

Jack looked up in bemusement as he undid the strap on a glove with his teeth. He regarded Daniel warily. 'How long have you been there?'

'A while.' Daniel noted dryly. 'You feel better now?' He undid the top on the bottle of water Jack had placed ready before his workout and passed it to the other man.

Jack downed a third of it before he set it aside and undid the other glove. 'I'm fine, Daniel.'

Daniel handed him a towel. 'I haven't said anything.'

'Yet.' Jack towelled his hair and rubbed the towel over his face before he wrapped it around his neck.

Maybe this hadn't been a good idea, Daniel mused. He had tried to raise the subject of anger with Jack after the K'Tau mess and had been most definitely dismissed. Maybe he was an idiot for trying again.

'You want to talk about it?' Daniel tried for a vague opening.

'No.' Jack shot back.

Daniel sighed heavily and Jack shot him a look.

'What do you want me to say, Daniel?' Jack asked angrily. 'That the Russian guy isn't interested in the truth? That all he wants is to be able to blame someone, anyone, for what happened to his guys without taking any of the responsibility?' He gestured with the water bottle. 'You know what screw him.' He grabbed the end of the towel and scrubbed his hair again. 'It's not my fault his guys died.'

'It isn't.' Daniel agreed.

He surprised Jack into pausing momentarily with the towelling. Jack began again slowly.

Daniel sat down on the bench. 'It wasn't your fault, Jack.'

Jack stopped towelling and hunched over.

'It was the Russians who set off the trap that sealed us in the ziggurat.' Daniel pointed out logically. 'It was sheer chance that Tolinev got injured and not Sam, and seriously, any one of us could have been taken as a host; Vallarin was just unlucky. Zukhov made his own decision.' He gave a slight shudder. 'More importantly, we had no idea there was going to a Goa'uld trapped in some…monster creature thing.'

Jack looked at Daniel with an arched eyebrow. 'Monster creature thing?'

Daniel shrugged. He didn't think there was a better description for a spider-like cockroach that could tear the flesh from bones.

Jack made a face. 'Teal'c called it a giant scarab.'

'As in the beetle?' Daniel thought about it. It was fairly accurate. 'Anyway, you and I both know, if you could have, you would have brought everyone back alive from that mission.'

He saw the last of Jack's anger drain out of his tense face, leaving behind nothing but an ingrained physical tiredness that deepened the lines that furrowed his face, and a deeper weariness that gleamed briefly from his brown eyes.

'Well, maybe not the monster creature thing.' Jack allowed.

'Or the Goa'uld.' Daniel added.

Jack smiled unwillingly. He sighed suddenly. 'I should shower.' He pushed off the bench and stretched. He winced as his muscles protested.

'You know Teal'c's discovered the Bond movies.' Daniel began lightly as he got to his feet. 'I was thinking of introducing him to From Russia With Love?'

Jack pointed at him. 'Funny.'

'We can come over to your place; get a pizza.' Daniel continued.

The older man immediately shook his head. 'I'm beat. I'm going to shower and crash. You guys should go ahead though.'

Daniel frowned. 'Jack.'

'Daniel.' Jack's voice took on a warning note. 'Just,' he held up a finger, 'don't start.' He held Daniel's gaze for a long moment until Daniel finally gave a nod of surrender.

Daniel dropped his gaze to the floor as Jack turned toward the door. He didn't notice the other man had stopped and looked back over his shoulder until he spoke.

'Daniel.'

'Hmmm?' Daniel looked up in surprise.

Jack waved his towel at him. 'Thanks.'

He exited without saying another word and Daniel was left gaping at the empty doorway. Daniel snapped his mouth shut and thrust a hand through his hair. Well, it could have gone worse, he mused. Jack had allowed him to talk about the mission. But they hadn't spoken a word of the real problem and Daniel had a feeling they probably never would. He sighed.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Jack was just angry about what had happened with the Russians. Maybe Jack's mood had nothing to do with a certain blonde Air Force Major. And it was probably not his place to say anything to Jack anyway, Daniel mused. The couple had evidently made a decision to adhere to their professional relationship, and while it was clearly hurting them both, maybe they just needed space to come to terms with it. It was probably difficult enough without others pushing their noses into it. Daniel sighed and stared at the punching bag, feeling useless.

Useless.

That was a good word to describe him, Daniel thought, frustration beginning to stir in his own gut. He wasn't making any kind of difference; Sha're had been dead for two years, her son lived on a different plane of existence and didn't need him – who did? Daniel got to his feet restlessly. He walked over to the bag and gave it a push. Maybe Jack wasn't the only one who needed something to pound on, Daniel mused wearily.

o-O-o

Jack ached all over as he climbed into his truck. He sat stiffly in the driver's seat. He had overdone it in his workout; he could feel it in the tiny tremors running through his muscles and the bone-ache in his joints. He'd known he was doing too much but he'd just been so mad…he had continued long past the time he knew he should have stopped. He was tired; he was grumpy and all he wanted to do was go home – which was not where he was supposed to be headed.

He tapped the steering wheel and checked his watch. He had an hour before he was supposed to be…where he was supposed to be. He could cancel. He winced as he inwardly acknowledged that maybe he'd been looking for an excuse to cancel, to put it off for a while longer, avoid it. He'd been hoping for an intergalactic emergency – hell, he'd even have taken the Tok'ra turning up but no…they never did show up when they were actually needed.

He scrubbed his face with one hand, pinching the bridge of his nose. He really, really wanted to do what he'd told Daniel he was going to do: crash. Head straight home, grab a beer and curl up on his sofa with the game. Or maybe some Simpsons. Anything to take his mind off the disaster that had been their last mission.

The strange mix of anger, resentment and responsibility rose up and choked him again. He had been in charge of the mission. He was responsible for the fact that three of the Russians hadn't made it home. If they had just followed orders…if they had just…not been Russian. Jack sighed. He knew he and Zukhov had been more alike than either of them had wanted to admit. They had similar backgrounds and Jack had no doubt they had probably been on opposite sides of the same skirmishes during some of black ops he had run back when the Cold War had been more than a historical footnote. It wasn't easy for his and Zukhov's generation to forget or forgive some of the stuff that had happened out in the field. Stuff that the public never knew about; never heard about. Stuff that got buried because no one wanted to admit the truth because then there would have been consequences and mutual self-destruction.

Jack sighed. Just like they would bury the truth about what had happened in the ziggurat just as effectively as SG1 had buried it literally in rubble. The Russians would claim there had been no orders for Zukhov to obtain the Eye thing; they would blame Jack and his team for everything. The US would staunchly maintain that they had followed protocols and the Russians were the unlucky harbingers of their own doom. And the truth would be buried somewhere in the middle.

He checked his watch and started the engine. There was still time to cancel but if he was going to go then he should get going especially as he needed to stop for gas and possibly some kind of present thing on the way. He closed his eyes, his head falling back to land on the cushiony head of the seat with a small bump. He really wanted to go home. He'd had a bad day – a bad week. Didn't he deserve to go home rather than put himself through what he figured was going to be a difficult experience? He should cancel.

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling of his truck. His fingers tapped the steering wheel. Damn it. He should just go and get it over with. He was a man, for crying out loud – a soldier. He had faced Goa'uld and monster creature things…he could face this. He could. It wouldn't be easy but it wasn't fair to cancel even if _she_ was probably expecting it; he had warned her he didn't know if he'd make it.

His mind made up, he slammed the truck into gear and backed out of the parking space. His eyes caught on Carter's car. He sighed as he headed for the exit. She was practically living at the base. Probably he should say something as her CO. Of course, it had gone so well the last time he had told her to get a life and take it easy. His mouth tightened as he considered the whole debacle with Carter's glowy alien friend. She had come close to ruining her career over it. She must have cared for him a great deal, Jack mused. He refused to acknowledge the twinge of jealousy that knotted his stomach at the thought.

He was her CO; she was an officer under his command. They were team-mates, friends. That was it. That was all they could be to each other. They couldn't feel feelings and serve together; it wasn't safe for either of them. It was better that they remained professional. And if there had been a time when they had both considered they could be more, one day, in some vague undetermined future, well…they had put that behind them. Moved on.

Bullshit.

Jack grimaced. Maybe Carter had moved on; God knew she was nothing but professional with him. He, on the other hand…he was trying to be just as professional as she was. In fact, their professionalism seemed to be the only thing they had. He had stopped calling by her lab and dragging her away for jello; they never worked out in the gym together anymore or visited the firing range. If they were alone on a mission, they spoke about work as though any personal query was banned. It was like they were in their own Cold War, with any mention of their previous feelings buried because to uncover them or acknowledge them would lead to mutual self-destruction.

His fingers tightened around the steering wheel. He had half-expected Daniel or Teal'c to call them on it given it had impacted the time the team spent off base together but it looked as though their team-mates were either ignoring it or respecting it. He wondered if he was semi-crazy to hope that one of them would raise it because if they did, then officially they would need to handle it and…he sighed. Officially it would be the end of SG1 and Jack still believed the team needed to stick together to have the best chance of succeeding in their mission. Not to mention that even if it was raised then he doubted Carter would be interested in anything any way, so the mission would be jeopardised for no reason.

And the mission had to come first.

If only he could remember why…

He had wondered if Daniel was going to raise it when he'd come to the gym. He had been partly relieved and partly disappointed when the younger man had stuck with the mission with the Russians. Daniel had played a big part in getting them into the ziggurat and out again. They couldn't have done it without Daniel. Jack frowned. He really should have told him that.

A flicker of guilt ran through him at declining the movie invitation. At least, he'd had the excuse of tiredness to get out of it. Not that it wouldn't have been fun watching Teal'c watching Bond. Maybe Carter would join them given he wasn't there; she always liked poking holes in movies. His lips twisted.

He switched the music on and let the opera soothe him for the rest of the journey with its detour to the gas station. He eventually pulled up in front of a house and stared at it for a long time before getting out. He checked his appearance in the side mirror. His silver hair was short enough that it didn't really need combing; the tan khakis and cream polo neck were casual but smart; the short black leather flight jacket completed the outfit. He pulled out the flowers he'd bought at the gas station. They were simple; pretty. He headed up the driveway and knocked on the door. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so nervous.

The door opened and he turned back with a nervous smile to face the woman standing there. 'Sara.'

'Jack.' Sara stepped back and he entered the house they had once shared with trepidation. He hadn't been back all the time they had been separated; all the time they had been divorced. He hadn't wanted to because there were too many memories within the walls. Too many memories of Charlie running from room to room; of laughter and love; and of a gunshot that he could still hear echoing. He stood awkwardly in the hall as Sara closed the door.

His ex-wife looked good; she'd gained an extra bit of weight since he'd last seen her but it looked good on her. Her hair was short again; her make-up non-existent. The jeans and purple top she wore were covered in dust. She looked happy. Envy rolled through him.

'I didn't think you would come.' Sara said as she led the way into the den. It was almost packed up; boxes and bubble-wrap littered the room. 'Are those for me?' She waved at the bouquet.

Jack handed her the flowers. 'I wasn't sure what to bring. So.' He gestured at the pink and white flowers.

'These are great.' Sara smiled wryly. 'I'm not sure there is an etiquette rule for this.' She pushed her nose into the blooms.

'Yes. This.' Jack stuffed his hands in his pockets. 'This' was clearing out Charlie's bedroom because Sara had finally sold the house. She and her new husband had moved soon after their marriage a couple of years before but Sara had kept the house, unable in her own words, to let go of the place where Charlie had lived.

But apparently it was time.

'I'm glad you're here.' Sara said sincerely.

Jack nodded sharply. He glanced around; acutely hearing the silence in the rest of the house. 'Where's Alan?' He hadn't exactly been looking forward to meeting Sara's new husband.

Sara fingered the delicate petals. 'He's at home with Kelly.'

Kelly.

Her new daughter.

'I needed to pack up the house alone.' Sara explained. 'He understood that.'

'Ah.' Jack rocked back on his heels and wondered whether he was supposed to have refused her invitation to pack up their late son's belongings. He and Sara had enjoyed a good marriage until the tragedy but he didn't miss the moments when he was supposed to have read her mind for the answer to a question he hadn't realised she'd posed in the first place.

She smiled as though she had read _his _mind and reached out to clasp his arm. 'And he understood that I needed to do Charlie's room with you.'

Jack nodded jerkily. He wasn't sure she did need him; wasn't sure why he was even stood there. He searched for safe ground. 'How is Kelly?'

'She's good. Toddling. Into everything.' Sara smiled happily; a proud mother. 'How are things with you? Still working with the same team?'

'Yeah.' Jack nodded quickly. 'We're still together.'

'You OK?' Sara asked, her eyes running over him.

'Fine.' Jack said succinctly.

Sara looked at him knowingly.

'We just got back from something.' He allowed. 'We lost people. Not ours but…' he shrugged.

'I'm sorry.' Sara said.

Jack looked away, the sympathy too sharply familiar.

'Why don't you head up?' Sara gave him a gentle nudge. 'I'll just put these in water.'

He watched her leave the room and turned on his heel. He walked up the stairs stiffly, remembering the way with ease. The door to Charlie's room was open. He hovered outside. He rubbed a hand over his hair. He didn't want to go in; didn't want to sort through the remnants of his son's life and box them away. But it wasn't fair to leave it to Sara, his conscience argued. He had done enough of that after Charlie had died. He hadn't been there for her. Being there for her this one time; it was the least he could do.

Jack took a deep breath and entered the room. He picked up a photo; it was one of him and Charlie just before…he set it back down. He walked over to the window and stared out; grief tightening his chest, rendering him speechless.

'Jack?' Sara's gentle voice startled him.

He didn't turn around. 'How do you want to do this?' He said finally when he trusted himself to speak.

'I thought…well, if you take the wardrobe, I'll start on the dresser.' Sara said matter-of-factly. 'We can sort through and put into piles: stuff you want to keep, stuff that you think can go to charity. We'll both check each other's piles at the end in case there's something specific either of us wants. You can keep anything.'

She paused for so long Jack knew she was wrestling with how to say something.

'You don't have to do this, if you're not ready, Jack.' Sara continued. 'I can box everything up and put it in storage until you are.'

Jack almost smiled; she knew him too well but he knew if he took the exit she was offering him and left, the stuff would be in storage for eternity. He turned around to look at her and shook his head. He shrugged out of the jacket and rolled up his sleeves. They both worked silently for a while.

'Oh God.'

'What?' Jack glanced at her.

Sara was holding a picture; she showed it to him. 'He drew this his first day at kindergarten.'

His heart almost stopped as he took in the childish drawing; a green stick figure labelled 'Daddy', a pink one with yellow hair labelled 'Mommy' and a small blue one labelled 'me.' He traced over the images reverently.

Sara's hand squeezed his arm. 'Why don't you keep it?'

'You don't want it?' Jack asked surprised.

Sara held up another one. It was one of the house with 'Mommy' and Charlie outside; the 'Daddy' figure was nowhere in sight.

Jack held up the one he held. 'I'll, uh, take this one then.' He set it on his small pile of 'things to keep.'

She gestured at the doggeared soft-toy he'd placed on his pile early on in the sorting. 'You're keeping Grump?'

'You want him?' Jack hoped she'd say no.

'No, it's OK.' Sara smiled fondly. 'I remember Charlie wouldn't go to sleep without it for almost a year. You know Kelly's the same about this stuffed dog Alan bought. He claims he's getting her the real thing once she's old enough.'

Jack smiled as he carefully folded up a jacket and set it aside for charity. 'Every kid needs a dog.'

'That's what he says.' Sara glanced at Jack as she placed a stack of t-shirts aside. 'You'd like him you know.'

'Can we not talk about your husband?' Jack asked slightly desperately.

Sara shot him a look but she fell silent. They continued on; sorting and stacking. Jack was peripherally aware that Sara had stopped but he still had a drawer to tackle and he kept going.

It was the unmistakable sniff that halted him. He looked over his shoulder. She was sitting on the bed, looking down at something she was turning over in her hands. He walked over hesitantly and sat beside her. It was Charlie's hospital bracelet from his birth.

'I was in labour for fourteen hours with him.' Sara recalled. 'I didn't think he wanted to be born but then…he was so beautiful with his little scrunched up face.'

Jack was silent. He had been on a mission. She had begged him not to take a mission so close to her due date but he hadn't listened; had just smoothly assured her he'd be home for the birth. It was a promise he'd failed to keep.

Sara swiped at her eyes. 'I miss him so much.'

'Me too.' Jack confessed gruffly.

She looked at him surprised by his admission.

Jack jerked his head. 'C'mere.' He hugged her as she sobbed; his own grief churning through him, stinging the back of his eyes with tears he refused to shed. He'd never held her while she grieved before and the pain – hers and his – reminded him why.

Eventually, she stopped crying. They sat quietly holding each other, surrounded by Charlie's things. Jack could hear her heart beating; feel her breathing. She smelled the same; felt the same.

Sara pulled away suddenly. 'I, uh…' she brushed at her wet cheeks and avoided Jack's eyes, 'you must be hungry. I'll go and make us some sandwiches.' She was gone before he could tell her not to bother.

He fingered the bracelet she had left on the bed. He shouldn't have come, Jack thought. He should have called and made some excuse. Hell, she had even told him she had expected him to do just that. He placed the bracelet on Sara's keep pile. Maybe he should leave. He looked around the room, at the tidy piles of Charlie's things. For a second, the urge to scream, to fly around the room and destroy was strong; how could they do this? Just tidy Charlie's things into piles? Organise his brief life like it was any old clear out?

Jack fisted his hands, digging his nails into the palms and closed his eyes. He took one deep breath and then another until the anger dissipated. Charlie's memory didn't deserve his anger and Sara certainly didn't. It wasn't Sara's fault that Charlie had shot himself with Jack's gun. It wasn't Sara's fault that Jack had built a wall around him afterwards and pushed her away until she'd had no choice to move on. And it wasn't Sara's fault that she had found happiness with a new husband and a baby daughter. Just like, he realised with sudden clarity, it wasn't Carter's fault that Jack had shot her; that he had pushed her away to better protect her – protect them both; that Carter had moved on and tried to find happiness.

He slowly got to his feet and went back to the drawer. He accepted the sandwich when Sara arrived back and ate it absently as they finished up. An hour later, the room was boxed up. Jack glanced at the small box of items he had decided to keep as he pulled on his jacket.

'Thank you.' Sara said, placing Grump softly on top. 'For doing this.'

Jack shrugged.

'I know it wasn't easy for you.' Sara commented, hooking her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

'For either of us.' Jack noted dryly. He looked around the room and shook his head. It was over; really over. Maybe that thought had gone through his head when they'd separated; when they'd divorced; when she'd told him about her pregnancy and imminent new marriage. He had thought he'd moved on too; that the Stargate programme had helped him find purpose in his life again, that he had somehow believed he was moving forward with his life. It was startling to realise that in some ways his life was standing still. He picked up the box. 'I should get going.'

Sara nodded and followed him out to the truck. He placed the box on the passenger seat and shut the door, walking round to stand hesitantly in front of Sara.

'You know Amy Castle called me a couple of weeks ago.' Sara said crossing her arms.

Jack froze. He'd run into their old neighbour in the grocery store; Amy was newly divorced and she'd given him her number. He hadn't called her. 'Oh?'

'We're kind of friends of sorts; we exchange Christmas cards that type of thing? She wanted to see if I was OK if you and she started dating.' Sara explained.

'Ah.' Jack fidgeted and he could feel the heat spring up in his cheeks. 'Sara…'

'You should call her.' Sara said bluntly.

Jack stared at her. He raised a scarred eyebrow. 'I should call her?' He said in disbelief.

'Well, unless you're seeing someone else?' Sara said amused.

'No.' Jack winced as he realised how pathetic he must appear. 'Not exactly.'

Sara looked at him curiously. 'Not exactly.'

'Look,' Jack said determinedly, gesturing at his ex-wife, 'this is weird and,' he pulled a face, 'well, weird, so…'

'Butt out?' Sara finished with a smile. She looked him over fondly. 'It was good to see you again, Jack.'

'You too.'

Sara reached forward and they hugged briefly. 'Call her, Jack.' She murmured in his ear.

He let go of her without replying. He opened the driver's door and turned back to her. 'Goodbye, Sara.' He climbed inside the truck and gunned the engine. He pulled away and glanced in the rear view mirror. Sara was on the sidewalk, watching him. He turned the corner and she disappeared from view.

It took Jack a while to get home. He put the box on the coffee table, went to grab a beer and returned to collapse on the sofa with a grateful sigh. His body hurt all over. He took a gulp of his drink. He reached into the box and pulled out Grump to sit beside him. He laid out the rest of the contents of the box reverently, turning over each piece; Charlie's old baseball glove, a book on fishing that his own father had given to him that he had handed down, the picture, a model airplane they had built together and a chess set Jack had bought Charlie one Christmas. It wasn't a lot, Jack considered, but each item meant something; each was a buried memory of his son, of his son's life, of the short space of time they had spent together. He stroked an ear as he picked up the stuffed toy. Tears stung his eyes and he took another long gulp of beer as he clasped Grump to his chest.

He hadn't moved on.

Not really.

Not from Charlie.

That was the truth.

Maybe he had thought he had because he had lost the death-wish that had sent him to Abydos the first time. Maybe he had thought he had started to move forward because he had a purpose in the Stargate programme; because in SG1 he had built another family – strange and weird, but a family nonetheless. Maybe because he had begun to dare to dream of a future with a woman, he had thought he wanted a future, believed he was moving on toward one.

Yet he couldn't continue denying he hadn't moved on at all.

The Stargate programme had given him purpose but its primary mission was a war against an intractable enemy that could last decades – something that Jack had purposefully ignored. He feared he had embraced the programme as a way of hiding from reality.

Not to mention that war brought losses. He cared about SG1; had come to view them as his family in the absence of any other, but when he'd had to kill Carter, when he had seen Teal'c fall in an ambush at the old Tok'ra base, he had been sharply reminded that he could lose them, any one of them, at any time. He had lost Carter.

Maybe she hadn't died that day he had shot her but he couldn't be with her – not as a man. So even his dreams of a future with her were unattainable; always had been and he suspected, feared, knew deep down in his gut, always would be. He had focused on Carter, a woman in his chain of command; someone he knew he could never be with, especially if he wanted to protect her career and reputation. He should never have led her to believe they had a future.

She deserved so much more. She was a woman whose heart and soul held a purity of innocence, unlike his own which were smudged and stained with so much blood. She deserved someone who could give her everything she ever wanted, who could make her happy. And deep down, he really didn't believe he was that man. He had no right to think he could ever be that man as her CO and as damaged as he was. So, he would protect Carter on the battlefield; he would ensure she had every opportunity to excel as an officer and scientific genius; to achieve her potential, and that was it.

He tilted the bottle to his lips and poured a long slug of beer down his throat to dull the pain; drown the truth and the anger at himself for ever believing anything else. His finger clutched at Grump and his shadowed eyes travelled back over each treasured keepsake.

He hadn't moved on from Charlie. A part of him never would. Maybe, he thought with a bitter bluntness that startled him, the best part of him. All he knew was that he'd loved his son.

And Charlie had loved him.

He could remember that now as he looked over all the different things. He had been Charlie's beloved 'Daddy' who had brought him Grump to protect him from the monsters under his bed; who had played catch, taught him fishing and spent hours building a model airplane with stories of his own dog-fights and escapades with each piece they glued. Each memory was laced with the love his son had bestowed on him; each easy hug and smile.

His son had loved him; Jack lowered the bottle. He hadn't moved on but maybe he owed it to Charlie's memory to try and be the man his son had loved. Really try in a way that he was only just admitting to himself that he had avoided in all the days and weeks and years since his son had died. Maybe he should try to build a real future with someone attainable; someone who he would never have to shoot to save the world; someone who had nothing to do with aliens, Stargates and winning what Jack was beginning to acknowledge was potentially an unwinnable war; someone real.

Because the truth was that his son had loved him; had found him worthy of love, so maybe, just maybe, someone else could love him too.

The tense knot of anger that had been in his gut for weeks, and which he had steadfastedly refused to acknowledge, was suddenly gone, leaving nothing but tiredness and an aching body in its place. He set the beer aside and got to his feet. He walked to his bed in the dark and curled up with Grump on top of the covers. He closed his eyes. Tomorrow, he thought tiredly, tomorrow he would move on.


	9. Embers

**Author's Note: **Sam/Team friendship. Sam/Jack UST. Jack/Other.

**Between Two Fires Recap**: _SG1 are attending the funeral of Omak, the Tollan leader they originally rescued. As they leave, they are invited back by the Chancellor for discussions. Narim thanks them for attending and hands Sam a holographic message in secret. She plays it as soon as they get back to the SGC. Narim warns them that Omak believed Earth was in danger before his death._

_SG1 return to Tollana: Jack and Daniel meet with the Chancellor who tells them that their policy on technology has changed and that they are willing to trade an ion cannon for trinium. When Narim hears of it, he assumes that Omak's warning was perhaps about that given Omak's previous stand against giving advanced technology to 'younger' races._

_Back at the SGC, Sam notes that one ion cannon is not enough that they would need thirty-eight to properly defend the planet. Back on Tollana, Narim has noted that Omak's health implant shows that the authorities delayed in getting to him which is unheard of – he believes Omak was killed. Jack and Daniel go back to the Chancellor with the new demand as Sam and Teal'c help Narim search the records for a hint to what is happening. They find that an ion cannon was fired and Curia records have been deleted. Narim is appalled. More, Jack and Daniel return noting that they've been given the thirty-eight weapons. Sam suggests lacing the trinium with an isotope so they can trace it._

_They go back to the planet and a reluctant Narim is persuaded to help them. Sam, Daniel and Narim break into the Chancellor's office to read the records of what really happened while Jack and Teal'c track the trinium. As Jack and Daniel discover a mass of bombs that utilise the Tollans phase technology – Narim, Sam and Daniel discover that the firing of the ion cannon was not a test but to warn off a Goa'uld ship but the ship had shields that protected it rendering the cannon useless. The Chancellor enters with Tanith, the Goa'uld that killed Teal'c's lover. Tanith is in the service of another Goa'uld who has threatened to destroy Tollana unless they cooperate in building the weapons. Narim escapes but Tanith leaves and orders the Chancellor to send a weapon to Earth, the Chancellor is conflicted. _

_Meanwhile, Narim meets up with Jack and Teal'c. Jack tells Narim that he knows what the right thing to do is. Narim uses a cannon to destroy the warehouse holding the new bombs. The Goa'uld attack: SG1 escapes to the gate but Narim stays behind to fight the war he has initiated. Back at the SGC, they receive a transmission from a Tollan ship: it's broken-up but it's Narim reporting that the Stargate is destroyed and what is left of the Tollan people are escaping in ships but they are being shot down. The communication suddenly dies._

**Embers**

Her lab had always been Samantha Carter's sanctuary. It was her space; her territory. Each piece of equipment had been placed where Sam wanted. She knew the contents of every cupboard and every drawer. She knew without looking that the device from P8Y543 was in pieces on the right hand bench and that the device from P2R419 was hooked up and undergoing a simulation on the left hand bench. Another three strange looking pieces of technology found on three different planets by three different SG teams were lined up to undergo the same. The central bench held the remnants of a naquadah generator that SG16 had somehow managed to break and Sam allowed it to hold her attention.

She meticulously set aside anything that could be reused; the generators were expensive and any usable parts would offset the build of a new generator. She immersed herself in the mindless task; assessing, discarding, checking. If the lab had always been her sanctuary, her work had always been her salvation.

She hadn't been home in seven days. Seven days since SG1 had returned from Tollana; since they had heard the fragmented communication from Narim that the Tollans – an ally more advanced than Earth – had fallen to the Goa'uld. Sam continued sorting and cataloguing even though her mind couldn't help returning to the communication over and over.

It had been cut short; the Tollans had been trying to flee in ships which were being shot down and destroyed by the Goa'uld. It was possible that Narim's communication system had simply gone down in the attack; possible that she would still hear from him. Yet a part of Sam knew he was gone; a casualty of the war with the Goa'uld.

She had been fond of Narim. He had been a good man; kind and thoughtful. Maybe he had been blindly naïve about the inherent infallibility of his own government and too obvious in his admiration for her, but he had been courageous at the end. He had chosen to stand up to the Goa'uld; to prevent his people from becoming collaborators to the death and destruction the Goa'uld would have wrought including the annihilation of Earth.

Sam couldn't help but feel guilty at the part SG1 had played in Tollana's downfall. Although Narim had taken the first step in warning them that the late Tollan leader, Omak, had felt Earth was in danger, they had pushed Narim at every turn in exploring why. The Tollan's surprise change in policy, their offer to provide them with ion cannons in exchange for trinium…it had all been too good to be true. With Narim realising Omak had been potentially murdered and the knowledge that the Curia's official records had been altered, they had found the evidence to support their suspicions. The Goa'uld had found a shield technology to withstand the Tollans' ion cannon defences and Tollana was threatened with destruction unless they built the Goa'uld bombs utilising the phase-shift technology. Their old enemy Tanith had been instrumental in the plot and Earth was to have been one of the first targets for the weapons. Narim had destroyed the warehouse containing the bombs and the consequences of his action had been immediate; the Goa'uld had attacked.

It wasn't SG1's fault, Sam reminded herself briskly as she reached for a small circuit board with a pair of pliers. The team had only acted to protect Earth and who knew how many other planets. In the end they had done nothing wrong but it was hard to feel that they had done something right with Tollana's fall.

The loss of their ally was not good news and had shaken the SGC and its chain of command. While Tollana's assistance had never fallen into the realm of 'helpful' given their strict policy on non-interference with less advanced civilisations, Sam equated their alliance to be similar to that of a safety net. It had been good to know they were there just in case they were ever needed. That safety net was gone, and while Earth had other safety nets given Tollana had never been its only ally, it felt like they were suddenly more exposed. It didn't help that it was incredibly scary that Tollana had fallen even though it was more advanced than Earth.

The Pentagon was demanding answers and SG1 had few to give them; Tanith was working for an unnamed Goa'uld who was evidently rising to power in the wake of Apophis's defeat but that was about all they knew. Their superiors had been seriously displeased that SG1 had not focused on securing the ion cannon technology before the demise of Tollana but as Colonel O'Neill had pointed out, the technology no longer worked against the Goa'uld and it was worthless. At least, General Hammond had understood.

Sam finished dismantling the generator. She had salvaged as much as she could. She reached for a box and carefully packed up the usable pieces. There was a rap on her lab door and Sam kept silent. Her team-mates, Daniel Jackson and Teal'c, had both stopped by a few times in the past week to commiserate about Tollana but Sam wasn't ready to talk about it.

The door opened despite her lack of answer and Sam looked up in annoyance. Her irritated blue gaze landed on her CO. She guessed it was his turn to attempt the pep talk.

'Carter.' Jack left the door open behind him and walked in without waiting for her permission. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He was wearing a Simpsons t-shirt on top emblazoned with the word 'D'oh!' and a leather jacket. She could see the thin chain of his silver dog-tags glinting around his neck. He was obviously dressed to go home.

She wrenched her gaze back to her task. 'Sir.'

'Do you know what time it is?' Jack asked pointedly.

Sam didn't have to glance at her watch. She knew her official working day had ended over an hour before. 'There's quite a back-log of work to get through before our next mission, sir.'

'Carter…'

She almost winced at his unhidden exasperation. OK, no pep talk, Sam realised as a flicker of panic entered her gut. He was just bypassing pep talk and going for an all out attack strategy.

'…our next mission is four days away.' Jack pointed out ruthlessly. 'Pack it up.'

Maybe she could pretend his words were a suggestion or try an offensive move of her own. 'I will as soon as the simulation is completed on this sonic device discovered on P2R419, sir. It's fascinating really. It works…'

'Ahk!' Jack held up a finger and she had lost. 'That was an order; pack it up. You have one hour to leave the base and I don't want to see your name on the entry log until oh-seven-hundred tomorrow. Understood?'

Sam's heart sank; she changed tactics switching from the professional to the personal. 'Sir, I really need to do this.' Her eyes pleaded with him for understanding.

His expression softened and he sighed, rubbing a hand over his short crop of grey hair. 'Carter, you've been in this lab for seven days.' He stated firmly. 'I'm not the only one who's noticed.'

'Oh.' Sam flushed. That meant either General Hammond or Janet Fraiser had raised it with him, she realised with embarrassment.

Jack hovered awkwardly. 'Look…' he began.

Oh God, thought Sam, now he was going to try the pep talk. She looked away from him, trying to think how to make him stop.

'I know things have been, you know, tough, with,' Jack waved a hand vaguely in the air by his head, 'the Tollans,' he got out eventually, 'and…'

'I'm fine, sir.' Sam insisted, cutting him off and glaring at him.

They stared at each other.

'OK.' Jack tapped his fist on the bench. 'I think Daniel and Teal'c planned to watch a movie later. Why don't you join them?'

Sam shook her head with a small smile. 'I already turned them down.' Daniel Jackson had been by at lunch time with the invite. He'd been vague about Jack's plans but by the sound of it the Colonel wasn't going to be there. He'd been doing less and less with them all outside of work ever since the incident with the computer entity. She understood his reasoning; he'd been brutally reminded that he needed to stay objective when he'd had to shoot her. He'd taken a step back and had been more professional with them all since, especially her – and she was so not going down that line of thinking.

'So, change your mind.' Jack said, startling her out of her thoughts.

'I'm not sure I can take another Bond film.' Sam muttered out loud as she stared down into the box of parts.

'Ah.' Jack pulled a face. 'Bond. They still on that?'

'Teal'c's fascinated by Jaws.' Sam said.

Jack's lips curved faintly. 'Isn't that a different movie?'

Sam couldn't help smiling back at his teasing which gave away he knew she meant the Bond villain and not the shark. 'Thank you for the suggestion, sir, but I think I'll just head home.' Maybe she could work on her bike; strip it down and rebuild it again.

'OK.' Jack gave her an encouraging smile. 'I'll see you tomorrow.' He was gone before she could reply, leaving a faint hint of his cologne in his wake.

Sam debated about whether she could get away with ignoring his order. Probably not. Not if he'd been instructed to do something about her remaining in her lab. If she stayed, she might be getting him into trouble along with herself. She packed up. She had second thoughts as she unhooked the simulation; as she put away the other devices. She was having fifth or sixth thoughts when her hand hit the light switch and the lab was plunged into darkness.

The female locker room wasn't empty; Sam could hear the showers running. She stripped, dumped her uniform and headed for a cubicle.

'Sam.' Janet waved a yellow sponge at her over the shoulder height wall.

'Janet.' Sam turned the water on and stood underneath the spray. She was barely aware of Janet finishing up and leaving. Sam showered quickly and headed back to the lockers.

Janet was already dressed in cream jeans and a green sweater. She sat on a bench, drying her hair. She waited until Sam was dressed in a similar fashion before she spoke. 'Heading home?'

'Yep.' Sam said shortly, reaching for her boots.

Janet sighed. 'Sam…'

'I'm fine.' Sam insisted, turning away.

Janet shot her an understanding look. 'Actually, I was going to ask you if you wanted to join Cassie and me for dinner? We'd thought we'd try that new Italian on Harper.'

'No. Thanks.' Sam shook her head.

'She'd love to see you.' Janet said without looking at Sam. There was a faint edge of desperation to her voice.

Sam looked at her friend inquiringly. 'What's up?'

Janet looked at her a little chagrined. 'She broke up with Dominic three days ago and, honestly? I'm at the end of my rope on sympathising.'

Sam sighed, torn between wanting to duck out of the meal and feeling an obligation to have dinner and comfort Cassie. 'The new Italian?'

Janet nodded.

'OK.' Sam tried a smile. 'Sounds good.'

'No, it sounds awful.' Janet corrected wryly. 'But I appreciate it and I know Cassie will too.'

Sam nodded understandingly. She reached back into her locker for the small leather purse she carried and shut the door firmly.

It was only dinner. What could happen?

o-O-o

Daniel looked morosely at the DVD cover of Roger Moore and back at Teal'c's expectant face. 'You know,' he said, taking hold of his courage, 'I think we're getting in something of a rut.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

'Repetitive.' Daniel explained. 'We keep doing the same thing rather than trying something new.'

'I see.' Teal'c murmured, his deep voice rumbling low in his chest.

'I don't know,' Daniel threw the DVD on Teal'c's bed and gestured at it, 'don't you ever want to try something, I don't know, different?'

The eyebrow again.

'What did you have in mind, Daniel Jackson?' Teal'c asked, clasping his hands behind his back.

Daniel shrugged. He and Teal'c had found themselves spending more and more time together outside of SG1's official duties and missions. Movie night was rapidly becoming a weekly event with just the two of them. Jack rarely joined them. He had reverted to his practice of leaving the base during SG1's off-duty hours just as he had during the first few months of the team working together. Daniel appreciated the reason why Jack wanted to take a step back and get some perspective – thinking he'd killed a team-mate, especially when in love with that team-mate, was bound to be hard to come to terms with, but Daniel felt the loss of the other man's presence keenly and he figured Teal'c felt the same although he doubted the Jaffa would ever admit it.

Sam had become almost as bad as Jack. Not in leaving the base – conversely, she never left the place – but definitely in avoiding social interaction. She had attended a couple of the movie nights in Teal'c's quarters though. The three of them had watched old Bond films together curled up on Teal'c's floor with big bowls of popcorn. Still, Sam had refused the evening's festivities and Daniel didn't think it was entirely down to her wanting to avoid talking about what had happened with the Tollans. His eyes strayed back to the DVD.

'I did find the fighting in a ring of jello most intriguing.' Teal'c said.

Daniel looked at him sharply and found his friend gazing back at him serenely with a wicked twinkle in the dark depths of his eyes. 'Intriguing.' Daniel agreed dryly. It was one word to describe it. 'I was thinking of something less…'

'Intriguing.' Teal'c supplied.

He had been about to say sticky, but intriguing would do. Daniel sighed. 'How about we just head out and grab something to eat?'

Teal'c inclined his head. 'I will change.'

Daniel gestured over his shoulder. 'I'll wait for you at the elevator.'

He left swiftly and headed to the lockers to change into civilian gear. Teal'c had seemed as pleased as he was at the change in scenery, Daniel mused as he finished up and made his way to the elevators. The Jaffa was still banned from going off-base without an escort following his brainwashing by Apophis. There was no doubt Teal'c had recovered but the ban had not been rescinded. Maybe he should speak to General Hammond, Daniel considered, frowning; and if he couldn't convince the SGC commander to ease up maybe Jack could.

He sighed as the elevator delivered him back to Teal'c's floor and crossed his arms over his chest, wrinkling the heavy denim of his jacket and the cotton of his shirt underneath as he leaned up against a wall and waited. He pushed his glasses up his nose and wondered at his own restlessness. He just hadn't been in the mood for Bond, he assured himself. It had nothing to do with him questioning his place again in the wake of the Tollana tragedy. He wasn't even sure why he was questioning his place. It wasn't as though he had done anything very much.

Or maybe that was the point.

He heard footsteps and straightened as Teal'c reached him. The Jaffa was dressed in a brown tweed suit with an orange shirt and clashing purple tie. He wore a matching orange bandana over his head which covered his Jaffa tattoo and atop that he had placed a brown baseball cap.

Daniel felt positively conservative by comparison in his more muted colours of blue plaid and denim. He cleared his throat. 'Ready?'

'I am ready to dine.' Teal'c agreed.

They left the base unhurriedly and climbed into Daniel's car together. He set off in the same unhurried fashion.

'Did you have a specific location in mind, Daniel Jackson?' Teal'c asked eagerly.

Daniel glanced sideways at him. 'Not really. Did you?'

'Nyan informed me some days ago of a new restaurant on Harper Street serving Turkish cuisine.'

'You want to try it?' Daniel asked.

Teal'c nodded. 'You did express a desire to try something different, Daniel Jackson.'

'I did, didn't I?' Daniel said amused. 'OK. Turkish cuisine it is then.' He had actually travelled through Turkey one summer when he'd been part of a dig. It was a long time ago, Daniel mused, and one Turkish meal wouldn't kill him.

He turned onto the main road and eased into the busy traffic. 'It's a shame Jack and Sam can't join us.' He commented absently.

'Indeed.' Teal'c said with so much feeling that Daniel looked at him surprised before he turned back to the road.

'I was wondering if you'd noticed it too.' Daniel said quietly.

Teal'c didn't reply.

'I hate it.' Daniel blurted out. He didn't look at the Jaffa but he suspected a raised eyebrow. 'It's just…it's…hard.'

'I believe it has also been difficult for O'Neill to find a balance in objectivity since he believed he killed Major Carter.' Teal'c murmured.

'You think he will?'

'It is not easy when bonds have already formed.' Teal'c admitted, and Daniel knew he was referring to Jack and Sam. 'Yet there is no question such objectivity is required in battle.'

Daniel sighed. 'You really think so?'

'Had I restrained my emotions in regards to Tanith,' Teal'c said darkly, 'I would not have been taken by surprise on Vorash and brainwashed by Apophis into betraying my very beliefs.'

It was the first time Teal'c had ever spoken of what had happened openly. Daniel wasn't sure what to say; if he was meant to say anything.

'You wanted to avenge Sho'nac, Teal'c.' Daniel said comfortingly. 'And I get the impression that Jaffa revenge is part of the code of justice for your people in the same way trial by jury is for us. We all understood.'

'It does not change what occurred.' Teal'c pointed out.

Daniel raised one hand from the steering wheel. 'You shouldn't feel guilty, Teal'c.'

'I do not.' Teal'c said firmly.

Daniel didn't believe him but he wouldn't call him on it. 'You haven't said much since we got back from Tollana. About Tanith, I mean.' Finding out the Goa'uld spy had survived the destruction of Apophis's fleet had come as an unwelcome surprise.

'I am glad he lives.' Teal'c's dark eyes glittered. 'One day, I will have my vengeance.'

'OK then.' Daniel pulled a face. He guessed Teal'c's newfound reasoning on objectivity hadn't changed his mind on the whole Jaffa revenge gig. 'Has Sam talked to you? I mean, about Narim and that whole Tollan thing?'

'Major Carter has not.' Teal'c sounded downhearted.

'She hasn't talked to me either.' Daniel commented.

Teal'c adjusted the position of his large frame in the small seat. Daniel sighed. He knew it was Sam's usual MO to withdraw until she was ready but on top of the professionalism kick she and Jack were on, he couldn't help but feel she was just withdrawing from them too.

'I know the objectivity thing is important, I do.' Daniel said. 'I remember how I felt when I thought I'd given the order to destroy the submarine with you and Jack onboard during the Replicator incident, it's just…we're family and…' his voice trailed away. How could he express how much he feared he was losing the only family he had without actually losing them at all? 'I just miss them.' He said finally.

'As do I, Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c assured him. 'As do I.'

o-O-o

Jack rang the doorbell and stepped back from the small townhouse with its pretty façade. It was a nice house but Jack wasn't there to admire the décor. He patted his hair as though to check it was still in place and turned to look out at the road with a grateful appreciation. He didn't fool himself; had the Tollans – had Narim – not stepped up to the plate, it could have been Earth which had been destroyed and not Tollana. He knew it was cold but he didn't regret what had happened; he couldn't deny that he was happy it was them and not Earth.

Carter was struggling with it. He knew that, feeling a pang of guilt at the way he had forced her to leave the base even if it had been triggered by Hammond pointedly telling Jack that perhaps as her CO, he should encourage Carter to take a break. He knew losing herself in her work was her way of coping. She'd had a close friendship with Narim and, although he knew she hadn't returned the guy's open adoration of her, she had been fond of him. It didn't help that she had lost another alien friend a few months before – a friend Jack didn't like to think about given Carter had hidden him in her home for weeks.

Carter would eventually confide in Daniel and Teal'c, Jack considered tiredly. She had never confided in Jack about that type of stuff even during the period when they'd both known that they'd loved each other beyond their bond as team-mates and hoped for more at some vague future date when he wasn't her CO. Moving on, he reminded himself tersely. They'd gotten too close but they had reinstated their professional relationship and if everything was somewhat awkward between them on a personal level while they made the shift, Jack was sure they'd both get used it again eventually. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't register that the door behind him had opened.

'Jack!'

The feminine voice had him smiling and he turned to smile at the brunette in the doorway appreciatively.

'Amy.' Jack handed her the bottle of wine he carried and she accepted it with a grin. 'You look great.' She did too; the red cotton dress was close-fitting and accentuated her curves in all the right places.

She leaned forward and kissed him briefly. 'Come on in.' Amy led the way inside.

Jack closed the door behind him. It wasn't the first time he had been a guest. He had been inside three times during the past month since he had started dating her after deciding in a moment of epiphany that apart from moving back to a professional only relationship with Carter, he was only going to really move on with his life if he tried building something real outside of the SGC. The last date he and Amy had shared a couple of nights before, he'd come for dinner and stayed for breakfast, and that fact had him alternating somewhere between panic and delight.

Amy Castle was an old friend and once Jack had called her for drinks, they had slipped easily into what he termed a casual arrangement. They'd agreed up front that they'd keep it light. Amy had just come out of a divorce and although Jack hadn't explained the detail of the complicated situation with Carter, he had hinted to Amy that he had his own baggage. He figured she had assumed he was referring to his own failed marriage.

He had to admit that he had enjoyed the past month even if he had felt pangs of guilt at times about Carter. It had been less awkward than he had anticipated forming a relationship with Amy. She was a good woman; compassionate, warm, friendly. She had built her own small interior design business and had an independent streak that Jack admired. She was a great mother – she had made it clear that Daisy, her daughter came first, and Jack could respect that.

It turned out they'd had more in common than just being old neighbours. They both loved hockey and the Simpsons; old movies and opera. It was easy being with Amy. No complications or hassles. No aliens or Stargates. Just a female companionship that he hadn't known he had missed until he started to date Amy. They were good together. He liked being with her enough that while he didn't mind that there were no more plans beyond their next date, he found himself surprisingly comfortable with the idea that there could be plans one day.

Amy finished putting the wine away and walked back up to where he was lounging over her breakfast bar. She smiled broadly, her brown eyes lit up with pleasure. She leaned in and kissed him again. 'Thank you.'

Jack shrugged. He figured they'd both enjoy a glass later. She wiped the smudge of lipstick she had left on the corner of his mouth, grinned and picked up her purse. He took hold of the wrap he spotted and helped her into it.

'You decided on where we're having dinner?' He asked, smoothing his hands over her shoulders.

'Well, my assistant couldn't stop talking about that new place on Harper.' Amy said, turning in his arms. 'That OK?'

He dropped another light kiss on her lips. He'd had no idea there was a new place on Harper. 'OK with me.'

They walked out of the house and she locked up. He helped her into his truck and went around to the driver's side. Amy didn't live too far from the centre of town and Jack quickly made the trip to the restaurant. They were in the middle of a debate about whether Sideshow Bob was a better villain than Mr Burns when Amy directed him to turn into the small parking lot at the back. He skipped out and was by her door before she could get it fully open. They made their way into the restaurant holding hands.

A waiter signalled he would be with them in a moment. Jack breathed in the heavenly scent of food and felt his stomach growl in hungry anticipation. Nice, he thought as he took in the cosy table settings and friendly ambience. The waiters were all smiling; the traditional music was muted. It was a perfect choice for a quiet dinner for two.

The door chimed behind them and Jack automatically glanced over his shoulder. He froze at the sight of the newcomers who equally froze at the sight of him and his date. Amy sensed his tension immediately and turned to look in the same direction.

Daniel recovered first. 'Jack.'

'Daniel.'

There was an uncomfortable silence.

'Jack?' Amy prompted him with a laugh.

Jack took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He gave her a reassuring smile. 'You remember my telling you about my team?' He pointed at Daniel. 'Well, this is Doctor Daniel Jackson and…Murray.' He cleared his throat. 'Guys, this is Amy Castle.'

Daniel's hand immediately shot out and Amy let go of Jack's to shake it. Teal'c settled for bowing his head.

'It's nice to meet you.' Amy smiled warmly. 'Jack talks about you all the time.'

'He does?' Daniel's gaze lightened with amusement at Jack's discomfort as his blue eyes met Jack's.

Jack flushed at the knowing look in Daniel's. In comparison to some of the light-hearted stories he had told Amy about the team, he hadn't told _them_ anything about her.

'You have another team-mate as well, right?' Amy asked, peering over their shoulders. 'He isn't with you?'

'He?' Daniel's eyebrows disappeared up his forehead.

Teal'c frowned. 'Our team-mate Samantha Carter is not with us.'

Amy shot a look at Jack. 'Oh. I didn't realise.'

'My mistake,' Jack jumped in hastily, 'I probably didn't even think to mention Carter was, well, you know.'

'A woman? Well, if you do insist on calling her Carter all the time.' Amy said with a laugh.

Jack smiled weakly. 'So,' he gestured at his two team-mates, 'I thought you guys were watching Bond.'

'We thought we would do something different.' Daniel explained. 'Nyan suggested this place.'

'Ah.' Jack rocked back on his heels and wondered how he got out of having to invite Daniel and Teal'c to join them.

'My assistant recommended it.' Amy said brightly.

Daniel smiled as Jack squirmed. 'Well, we'll try it another time and go somewhere else. Leave you to enjoy your evening.'

Amy patted Jack's arm. 'They don't have to do that, do they, Jack?'

Jack sighed and gave into the inevitable. 'Why don't you join us?'

'Thank you for the invitation, O'Neill,' Teal'c placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder to stop him from interrupting, 'but we do not wish to intrude on what was clearly intended to be a private meal.' He turned and inclined his head respectfully. 'It was pleasant meeting you, Amy Castle.'

'And you.' Amy said. She gestured at the two men. 'Both of you.'

'Have a nice evening.' Daniel's eyes were on Jack as he made his parting shot and left.

Jack watched them go with relief. He turned back to Amy to find her looking at him with open amusement. He was saved from having to immediately explain as the waiter showed them to a table.

Jack opened the menu and gazed at the contents, determined to avoid the conversation he knew was coming. 'So, this all looks good.'

'You hadn't told them about us?' Amy asked bluntly.

He lowered the menu and took in her wry smile and teasing expression. 'Ah, no.' He admitted. He fiddled with the salad knife. 'It's not…' he stopped and cleared his throat, 'it's just…'

'Jack.' Amy reached across the table and snagged his hand. 'You don't have to explain.'

'I don't?' Jack asked surprised.

'We're having fun, aren't we?' Amy pointed out, gently. Her fingers rubbed against his.

He turned his hand over and clasped hers. 'We are.'

'Then, let's eat.' Amy said firmly. She squeezed his hand and let go, turning her full attention back to the menu.

Jack looked at her for a long moment and turned his own attention to the menu without seeing a word of what was written. No recriminations over the fact that he hadn't told his closest friends about her. No worrying whether it had upset her or whether he should apologise. It was that uncomplicated; that easy with Amy.

His stomach churned.

He wondered whether he should tell Carter about Amy given Daniel and Teal'c knew even if it had been an accident. Not that he figured they would tell Carter, he just didn't want her to find out in a similar way. His blood literally froze at the idea. But, how to tell Carter? It wasn't just something he could drop into conversation and did she really need to know? He was her CO; he didn't have to tell her. But it was more complicated than that which was why it was going to be difficult.

He repressed a sigh and tried to focus on the menu. Yep: complicated and difficult. That described his relationship with Carter perfectly.

o-O-o

Sam sat on a stool in her lab, tired and miserable, staring sightlessly at the simulation running on her computer monitor. She rubbed her nose, her mind drifting back to the previous evening…

_Sam waved Cassie goodbye as she watched Janet's car disappear down the road. She gave a tired sigh and rubbed her forehead where she could feel the beginnings of a headache. No wonder Janet had been desperate for back-up, Sam thought wryly. Cassie was heartbroken; she would never love again, never have another boyfriend – the usual teenage angst that followed break-ups. Sam had reminisced about her own first boyfriend as had Janet. God, it had been so much simpler then, Sam considered as she opened the driver's door and climbed inside. She had just fallen for a cute guy without all the worry of whether it was allowed or whether he would end up shooting her…or she would end up shooting him._

_She locked the car doors absently and threw her purse on the passenger seat. She reached for her CD stash. She was in the mood for something other than the soft rock she had playing. She exchanged it for a boy band CD she would deny she owned under threat of torture and nodded as the first upbeat pop song played from the speakers. She stowed the rest of her CDs and looked briefly out the windshield to check the road._

_Her eyes caught on the sign for the Turkish restaurant across the road. It looked interesting. The front door opened and an older couple stepped out hand in hand. Cute, Sam thought whimsically before her body tensed in recognition. Her mouth fell open as she watched as the attractive brunette slid a hand into the back pocket of Jack's jeans in a blatantly possessive gesture. Their attention was on each other but Sam ducked down and prayed he didn't see her._

_Her heart was hammering in her chest as she peeked and saw a glimpse of red disappearing behind the restaurant in the direction of its parking lot. Sam gunned the engine, slammed the car into gear and drove away hurriedly…_

She had to get over it, Sam thought determinedly. There was no way she was going to sulk over the Colonel being with another woman like she was some teenager. Jack wasn't hers and in truth he never had been hers. He was a free man; single. He had every right to date whomever he wanted. They were both being completely professional and had put their inappropriate feelings behind them. It wasn't as though they could ever pursue them.

Then why did it hurt so much that he was with someone else, Sam mused. She sighed loudly and shook her head furiously.

She was an adult; he was an adult. She could be pleased that he had moved on and found someone to share his life outside of the madness of their working lives. She was happy that he was happy.

Right.

She pressed her lips together and hesitantly opened a drawer in the desk. The Tollan emotional recorder stared back at her. She took it out and turned it over in her hands. She sighed and switched it on.

_A wash of love rushed over her; her skin breaking out in goose-bumps. Love and attraction and joy. She lit up the room for him._

She switched it off, unable to continue. Narim had loved her and it felt cheap somehow given his death to use his feelings to make herself feel better about losing another man's affection.

'Major Carter.' Teal'c's quiet call had her head jerking up in surprise.

'Teal'c.' Sam pushed the recorder into the drawer. She realised belatedly that her cheeks were wet. She turned away and scrubbed at them.

A handkerchief appeared over her shoulder. She smiled and accepted it. She blew her nose before. 'Sorry.'

'There is no need to apologise, Major Carter.' Teal'c replied calmly. 'I believe he loved you a great deal.'

Sam closed her eyes. 'I miss him.' The words escaped her before she had the sense to catch them. And she winced because they weren't about Narim at all and he deserved so much better than that.

'There are many sacrifices in a war,' Teal'c said kindly, 'some are harder to bear than others.'

Sam nodded. She blew her nose again; wiped her eyes and turned around. 'Thank you, Teal'c.'

He bowed his head.

A rap at the door had them both looking in unison toward the doorway. Daniel stood there, half-in and half-out, indecision written all over his intelligent features.

'Hey.' He said. 'I, er, just wanted to see if you were up for breakfast?'

'Sounds good.' Sam said. 'Why don't you guys go on ahead? I'll be there in a minute.' She waited until they left before she made her way to the ladies' cloakroom and washed away the evidence of her tears.

Sam made her way to the elevator. Breakfast with the guys would be good, she thought. She couldn't hide away in her lab forever. The elevator arrived and she stepped into it. She almost backed away at the sight of Jack leaning against the back wall but he looked up and saw her.

She stiffened her spine. 'Sir.'

'Carter.' Jack straightened.

They stood in silence for a split second as the elevator doors closed.

'So.' Jack cleared his throat. 'I checked the logs. You managed to stay away.'

Sam bit her lip. 'Actually, Janet and I took Cassie out for a meal. She and Dominic broke up.'

'Yes!' Jack clenched his fists in a small dance of victory.

Sam shot him a look.

'Sorry,' Jack smiled, clearly not sorry at all, 'did I say that out loud?'

'She's heartbroken, sir.' Sam admonished him. She dithered about whether to say anything and decided she should just say it; get it out in the open, let him know she knew.

'Sir.'

'Carter.'

Sam waved at him. 'After you, sir.'

'No, no.' Jack motioned back at her. 'After you.' He crossed his arms over his green BDU shirt and looked at her.

'I, er, well, we had dinner at the Italian place on Harper.' Sam saw him tense and knew he knew where she was going. 'I, um, I, er, I saw you leaving the Turkish restaurant across the street.'

There was a streak of colour flooding across his cheeks. He sighed and looked everywhere but at her. 'Carter…'

'It's none of my business, sir.' Sam said and winced at the loudness of her voice. 'I just thought that you should know, that well, I know.'

Jack's eyes shot to hers before they fell away again. She turned away and stared up at the floor indicator.

He fidgeted restlessly. 'Awkward, huh?'

'It's getting there.' Sam said fervently, wishing she could take the last few minutes back.

Jack rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.

Sam gathered her courage, 'I'm happy for you.' Her eyes were pinned to the wall and she missed his brief look of disappointment at her words.

He sighed and changed position. He shoved his hands in his pockets. 'So. Where are you headed?'

'Breakfast.' Sam explained. 'Daniel and Teal'c should already be there.'

'Mind if I join you?' Jack asked softly.

She glanced at him. She knew if she said yes he would leave them to it and part of her wanted to be that mean and exclude him; to try and get him to feel as hurt as she did. She felt her chest tighten. He hadn't meant to hurt her. And maybe he had found someone else to love, but they were still friends, still team-mates. Did she really want to risk losing that too? She shook her head, smiled and saw him relax in response. 'That would be great.'

He smiled; one of the cute lop-sided smiles that she loved.

They walked into the mess together; got their breakfasts and headed for the table where Daniel and Teal'c were already sat eating, debating a report. Sam noticed Daniel's pleased look as they both sat down and the conversation turned to their next mission and how SG17 had brought back a small purple-spotted chicken from P9R427 to study.

Half-way through Daniel's spiel on the importance of the chicken in 427's history, Sam glanced up and her gaze careened straight into Jack's. She looked down quickly, her heart pounding. Had she seen…? No. He had moved on. He didn't see her that way anymore. He had someone else. She risked another look. He was teasing Daniel about the chicken, his attention elsewhere. She had imagined it, Sam thought determinedly: she had just imagined it.


	10. Another Change of Track

**Author's Note: **Sam/Jack UST. Jack/Other. Sam/Team friendship. Sam/Cassie friendship. Daniel/Janet friendship.

**2001 Recap**: _SG1 arrive back from a mission jubilant at finding a possible ally against the Goa'uld, 'the Aschen' – an advanced race who have befriended the planet's native population the Volians. Unbeknownst to the team, the Aschen are the very aliens who they were warned against meeting in a note sent to the past from their future selves as in that note only the homeworld of the Aschen was mentioned. SG1 brief the newly appointed Ambassador, Joe Faxon, who quickly makes his interest in Sam known. She explains that the SGC is trying to establish which world is the Aschen homeworld through mathematical calculation and elimination._

_SG1 return with him to the planet. Daniel and Teal'c are tasked with confirming with the Volians that the Aschen are true friends while Sam and Jack accompany Faxon. Negotiations go well – almost too well. Jack notes that it seems very easy. _

_The team return to Earth. Sam and Jack are informed that one of the worlds listed as a possibility for the Aschen homeworld has been identified as the world SG1 were warned about visiting in the note from Future Jack. They meet up with Daniel and Teal'c who have discovered the remnants of an Industrialised city._

_Daniel works out that the Volians were an industrial nation when they were befriended by the Aschen who helped stop a plague but the vaccine caused something – something which led to the Volians suddenly becoming, almost overnight, an agrarian society. When Hammond gets nowhere on derailing the talks, Jack offers to talk with the President but he is prevented from getting to the White House by Kinsey. The corrupt politician tells Jack that the President is finally realising the truth about Jack and the SGC, that the elected officials will be making the decisions._

_The SGC wonders what they are going to do. Faxon requests that Sam continue to accompany him to the negotiations – they are going to give the Aschen some gate addresses. Sam agrees to ask the Aschen a word Daniel cannot translate that will hopefully reveal what happened with the Volians – and confirm the Aschen's intentions. Faxon agrees to it and Sam follows through with the plan. The Aschen lock them in the negotiation room on ship realising their cover is blown but there is a balcony which hangs just above the Stargate. _

_When the gate activates Sam realises it is dialling Earth, she rappels down, inputs her IDC and calls for the Ambassador to follow. But an Aschen enters and Faxon fights him off as he tells Sam to go. As the Aschen are preparing to fire a bio-weapon through the Earth Stargate, Sam has no choice. She cuts the rope and falls into the wormhole landing on the SGC ramp with a thump – she yells to close the iris and a thud is heard as it closes. She is injured but manages to inform them that the Aschen were planning to sterilise the population. Kinsey is furious and yells that there will be an investigation as he storms away. Jack checks Sam is OK and tells her that she's done a good job. _

**Another Change of Track**

'Ow.' Samantha Carter winced and opened her eyes. The infirmary ceiling stared back at her. She closed her eyes again as it flooded back to her. She had injured her shoulder, sustained a minor concussion and bruised everywhere else on her body. Given her fall through the wormhole from a great height and subsequent landing on the metal ramp of the SGC, it was a wonder that she hadn't broken every bone in her body.

'You awake, Carter?' The sound of feet hitting the linoleum floor had her eyes snapping open and she turned her head gingerly to meet Jack O'Neill's warm concerned gaze as he walked over to her bed.

She tried to moisten her dry mouth and failed. 'Sir.'

His brown eyes widened as he heard her croaky voice. He looked around wildly and spotted the jug of water. He filled a cup and handed it to her. She struggled to sit up with her bad shoulder strapped so tightly and he put it down hurriedly. He helped her shift into a sitting position, and waited until she resettled before he gave it back to her. She took it with her good hand and took a grateful drink. The warm liquid slid down her throat, soothing the rawness.

'Better?' Jack asked, hovering. He pushed his hands in his pockets and looked at her guardedly.

She went to nod her head but stopped at the twinge of pain. 'Yes, sir.' She took another drink and wet her lips. She took in the faint hint of stubble on his jaw, the shadows under his eyes and the rumpled clothes. Her eyes flickered to the bed he had walked over from and she took in the disturbed covers. He had evidently spent the night in the infirmary watching over her. Her gut twisted and she looked down at the cup of water she held.

Since Janet Fraiser had effectively kicked SG1 out of the infirmary after dinner, it meant the Colonel had sneaked back at in at some point after Sam had fallen asleep. She couldn't help the flush of pleasure that he had cared enough to return and stay with her. Not that it meant anything. He had been nothing but professional with her since the whole incident when a computer entity had taken over her body and he'd had to shoot her. He cared about her as a team-mate and as a friend but that was it. She knew he was dating someone outside the base; she had seen him with an attractive brunette coming out of a restaurant the week before. He hadn't mentioned it since and neither had she.

She drained the cup abruptly and held it out without looking at him.

'You want more?' Jack asked archly.

Her eyes flickered back to him at the question and she watched amused as he picked up the jug and waggled it.

'It's a good vintage.' Jack teased.

She smiled unable to resist his light-hearted tone. 'No. Thank you, sir.'

Jack put the jug down before he grabbed the cup. He regarded her seriously as he fidgeted with it. 'You OK? You need anything else?'

Sam looked down at her blankets and smoothed the edge. 'I'm fine.'

Jack set the cup on the side table next to the jug. There was a long pause

'You did good yesterday.' Jack said softly.

She looked up and found him gazing back at her with so much understanding that she felt tears prick the back of her eyes. She dropped her gaze again. It took her a moment before she regained control. Given her injury, the previous day had disappeared in a blur of tests and medical examinations before she had been debriefed by General Hammond. When SG1 had been allowed in to keep her company, the team had focused on distracting her rather than any analysis of what had happened. It had been the first time the Colonel had mentioned her actions since she had been loaded onto a stretcher.

She took a breath. 'I left him behind, sir.'

Another silence and she figured the Colonel was working out what to say to her. It was their number one rule and she had broken it at the cost of a man's life. She had failed to protect the Ambassador.

'If you had waited, if you had tried to go back and rescue him, what would have happened?' Jack asked.

His tone was gentle and far too empathetic. Sam shifted position in the bed, welcoming the bite of pain in her shoulder as she moved.

'Carter.' Jack prompted. 'What would have happened?'

It was his CO voice – the one he used when they were in the field and he needed her to give him an answer. She responded to it automatically without thinking. 'The Aschen would have fired a bio-weapon through the open Stargate.'

'Killing everyone on Earth.' Jack pointed out brusquely.

There was an awkward pause. Sam kept her eyes pinned to the bedclothes.

'Look,' Jack began, 'I know you liked him…'

Her stomach fluttered; he sounded jealous but of course he couldn't actually be jealous, he was dating someone. It had to be her imagination trying to conjure up feelings that no longer existed. He was just making an observation. She _had_ liked Ambassador Faxon – Joe. It hadn't been anything serious; his obvious flirting and admiration of her had simply flattered her and soothed her ego after seeing the Colonel with another woman. She just thought Joe had been one of the good guys and he had given his life to save her, to ensure that she got the message about the Aschen back to Earth.

'…but there wasn't a choice, Carter.'

Sam bit her lip as his words sank into her. She had left the Ambassador to the mercy of the Aschen because it had been him or Earth. There hadn't been a choice. Not really. She wondered briefly if Jack – if the Colonel – had felt the same when he'd pointed a zat at her, when he'd had her or Earth as the choice…

No; there was definitely no choice at all.

'I know.' She said softly.

Jack sighed and she felt rather than saw his hand reach out but drop short of her arm, landing on the covers beside her. 'Stop beating yourself up about it, Carter.' He instructed firmly.

Sam looked at him about to protest that he couldn't actually order her not to feel bad about what had happened.

'Besides,' his hand moved, gesturing at her shoulder, 'the universe already got to you first.'

The smile had her lips moving before she could stop it.

He nodded satisfied.

'Colonel. You're here early.' Janet said dryly from the doorway.

Jack froze and Sam almost laughed as he shot her a horrified look at being caught.

Janet's heels tapped across the linoleum as she walked over to them. She grabbed the clipboard as she stared pointedly at Jack.

'I was just checking in on Carter before breakfast.' Jack claimed smoothly.

Janet's eyes drifted meaningfully to the disturbed bed across the room and back to the Colonel.

'I'll just…' Jack indicated the door. He winked at Carter and left.

Janet turned back to Sam and opened the clipboard. She glanced over Sam's chart. 'You had a good night?'

'I'm fine.' Sam said as Janet moved to examine her.

'It was a very nasty fall.' Janet corrected her. 'You're very lucky.'

'So I'm told.' Sam quipped dryly.

Janet shot her a chiding look as she shone a penlight into her eyes and scribbled a note on the chart. She continued her examination and Sam suffered through it. By the time, Janet had finished, Sam leaned back on the soft pillows with relief.

'Can I get out of here?' Sam asked eagerly.

Janet shook her head and put her pen back into her breast pocket. 'I want to keep you here for another twenty-four hours observation.'

Sam groaned. 'Janet…'

'Sam.' Janet retorted. 'If your vitals remain stable, I'll discharge you tomorrow but you're going to need to continue to rest that shoulder for at least a week, maybe more.' She smiled sympathetically at Sam's disheartened expression.

'Can I at least shower?' Sam complained, plucking at her infirmary pyjama top.

'I'll get the nurse to help you.' Janet raised a hand before Sam could say anything. 'That's my final offer.'

'Fine.'

The doctor ignored her grumpy tone. 'Cassie says hi and that she hopes you get better soon.'

Sam softened at the mention of Janet's adopted daughter. 'How is she?'

'She and Dominic are back together.' Janet pulled a face as she replaced the clipboard at the end of the bed. 'Apparently, he is once again the love of her life instead of mud-sucking scum of the universe.'

'Ah.' Sam said sagely. 'He apologised.'

'With flowers and everything.' Janet confirmed with a sigh. 'Do you know how long it's been since someone sent me flowers?'

Sam smiled at her ruefully. 'I haven't exactly been inundated with flowers myself, Janet.'

'Oh come on,' Janet said with a teasing glint in her eye, 'you've had an alien follow you home, and didn't that Tollan guy you kissed have you as his voice in his home? Not to mention the Ambassador seemed keen on asking you to dinner?'

'And now they're all dead.' Sam muttered. She avoided Janet's gaze.

Janet reached out to touch Sam's arm gently. 'Sam…'

'Could I get that shower now?' Sam asked a little desperately.

Janet sighed but nodded. 'I'll get the nurse.' She walked away.

Sam shifted position on the pillows, trying to ease the ache in her shoulder and the tightness in her chest. In the past few months, she mused, she'd seen Orlin, the alien who had followed her home, give his life to save hers on Velona; Narim, the Tollan who had fallen in love with her, sacrifice his life to save Earth, and the Ambassador, with his admiration and invitation to dinner, save her life too.

And then there was Martouf, Sam considered tiredly. The soul mate of Jolinar, the Tok'ra symbiote she had once carried. Sam had shot and thought she had killed Martouf when he had been brainwashed by the Goa'uld but she had learned his body had been sustained by Lantash, his symbiote, and they had both been put in stasis in the hopes of finding a solution to the brainwashing.

It didn't stop there; Sam thought fleetingly back to her ex-fiancé Jonas Hansen and his ignominious end. She sighed heavily. She was cursed or maybe she was a curse, Sam reflected, sadly. There didn't seem to be a man who had been interested in her who hadn't ended up dead.

An image of the Colonel jumped straight to the forefront of her mind and she closed her eyes as though to erase the image. She was so not going there. He was alive, the voice in her head whispered back. He had said he cared for her more than he was supposed to – had loved her and he was still alive.

Only because the Colonel had moved on, she argued with herself. He had died in both the alternate universes SG1 had encountered when they had been together. It was just as well he was seeing someone else. If they had decided to be together; if they had pursued a relationship…she probably would have only ended up losing him anyway.

Her heart clenched painfully in her chest at the thought of Jack dying. Just the thought hurt. She could remember her father's grief when her mother had died; Daniel's pain at Sha're's death and how deeply Teal'c had mourned Sho'nac. Perhaps loving someone inevitably led to loss…

'Uh, ma'am?'

She opened her eyes and found a nurse standing by her bed.

'Doctor Fraiser said you wanted a shower?' The young nurse smiled warmly.

'Yes. Thank you.' Sam manoeuvred out of the bed. She pushed her feet into the slippers offered. Maybe it was a good thing the Colonel had stepped back from his feelings for her when he had, Sam thought. If she lost Jack…it didn't bear thinking about.

o-O-o

Janet's fist stopped short of the General's open door as she caught sight of the red phone in his hand. He saw her hovering and waved her inside the office. She took a couple of hesitant steps, her fingers clenching around the pale blue folder she held.

'Yes, sir. No, I understand that, sir, but given…'

Hammond's Texan drawl was tense and frustrated. She observed a dull red flush travel across his neck and cheeks.

'I understand.' Hammond sighed. 'Yes, sir.' He held the phone away from his ear, wincing slightly. He slowly placed it back into the cradle.

'Everything alright, sir?' Janet asked tentatively.

Hammond lifted his hand from the desk. 'Senator Kinsey has insisted so there is going to be an official investigation into the events with the Aschen. Apparently, I can expect a recall to Washington in the next few days to answer questions on the matter.'

Janet frowned. 'I'm sorry to hear that, sir.'

'Not as sorry as I am, Doctor.' Hammond noted dryly. He gestured at her and she handed him the folder. 'What can I do for you?'

'I've released Major Carter this morning.' Janet informed him briskly. 'She'll be out for a week at least until her shoulder heals and will possibly need another couple of weeks on light duty beyond that. Her shoulder took quite a battering.'

Hammond nodded in agreement. He closed the folder and set it aside. 'Very well. Thank you, Doctor.'

'Sir.' Janet acknowledged the dismissal and left the office. She headed for the elevator and punched the call button. She smiled as Daniel walked up to join her.

'Hey.' Daniel raised his head from the book he was reading and snapped it shut with an audible bang. 'How are you?'

'Good.' Janet said with a smile. 'You?'

'Good.' Daniel smiled back. 'So I guess we're both good.'

Janet couldn't prevent her smile widening as the archaeologist's eyes warmed with amusement. They both got into the elevator.

'I've been meaning to say thank you for talking with Cassie on that history assignment.' Janet said when the compartment started moving.

Daniel shrugged. 'She did the work.'

'You know she's thinking of taking archaeology as a profession.' Janet informed him. She nudged him. 'You obviously inspired her.'

'Uh, I think that was Indiana Jones.' Daniel quipped, pushing his glasses up his nose.

They both got out at the infirmary level and Janet looked at him quizzically.

'You're getting out here?'

'Sure.' Daniel pointed in the direction of the infirmary ward. 'Thought I'd check on Sam.'

'I released her.' Janet told him briskly. 'I had an Airman drive her home.'

Daniel blinked at her. 'You did?'

They both looked at each other and simultaneously sighed.

'You'd think she would have told one of us.' Daniel's annoyance bled through his words and Janet couldn't prevent herself automatically reaching out to place a hand on his arm.

'You know Sam.' Janet said dryly. 'I think she thinks she can handle this herself.' A flicker of guilt ran through her. She had intended to invite Sam to stay with her and Cassie during her recovery but Sam had been quiet and closed off since Janet's comment over Sam's admirers. She could kick herself for making it.

'I know,' Daniel replied, 'I just…I guess I'll drop round and see her after work.' He turned back to the elevator. 'Well, I should…'

'Right.' Janet nodded and shoved her hands into her pockets. 'See you later.'

o-O-o

Jack viewed the convenience store with a jaded eye and turned back to the attractive brunette sat beside him. 'You really want to shop here?'

Amy Castle grinned at him. 'Where's your adventurous spirit, Jack?' She patted his arm. 'This place has the best deli this side of Colorado Springs.'

Jack grimaced. 'We could go back to your place; get pizza.' He couldn't repress the hopeful note that coloured his tone and she rolled her sherry brown eyes at him.

'We can't eat pizza all the time. Come on.' Amy objected firmly. She didn't wait for him to reply but pushed open the passenger door and alighted from his truck.

Jack sighed as he watched her walk away. He pushed open his own door. He liked Amy, he did. He liked dating her and they had a good time together but he missed the freedom of being single, of having the option of eating pizza seven nights in a row if he wanted. He pressed the key fob and the truck beeped.

If he was being completely honest, his aversion to the deli picnic Amy had wanted for their romantic evening had more to do with the shop being in Carter's neighbourhood. As her CO and team-mate, he knew he shouldn't be bothered but as a man who had once professed to care more for Carter than he should he was only too aware of how awkward it would be if they ran into each other unexpectedly. For Carter, he assured himself. Not for him. Nope. Not for him.

It was unlikely to happen, Jack considered guiltily; Carter was home recovering from her injury. Daniel and Teal'c were checking on her. He had been invited but he'd had to reluctantly decline. He'd cancelled two dates with Amy during the mess with the Aschen – once when he and SG1 had accompanied the ill-fated Ambassador to negotiations and the second time when he had undertaken an unexpected trip to Washington. Jack figured a third cancellation was equivalent to the three strikes rule: after the third, it was time to leave the field, and he wasn't quite ready to admit that his attempt to build something of a life outside of the SGC had failed.

Even though it had.

It had not failed, Jack told himself sternly.

Had too, the annoying voice in his head replied.

Jack sighed heavily and walked into the store. It was part normal supermarket and part huge deli counter. Amy waved at him from her place in what seemed to be a huge queue and he sauntered over to join her.

She took in his disgruntled expression and reached up to lightly plant a kiss on his mouth. 'Why don't you grab some dessert?'

'Dessert.' Jack stated. 'Sure.' He wandered off unsure of his direction. He estimated he had ten minutes before Amy got served and probably five minutes beyond that. He took his time before deciding on a tub of ice-cream and a frozen apple pie. He picked them up and checking the time, headed back to the queue. His eyes glanced down an aisle and caught on a familiar blonde haired woman straining to get to the top shelf, one arm in a sling. Before he was even aware he was doing it, he had changed direction and was marching down the aisle.

'What the hell are you doing, Carter?' Jack careened to a stop beside her.

Sam looked at him grumpily. 'Shopping, sir.'

He shot her a look and she pointed at an oversize bag of chips that remained just out of her reach.

'Where are Daniel and Teal'c?' Jack demanded as he grabbed the chips placing it into the trolley along with her other groceries. 'Aren't they supposed to be helping you?'

'They're at the deli counter.' Sam explained. 'Daniel wanted to check out the gourmet coffee and Teal'c has this thing for the garlic stuffed olives here.'

Jack made a face. 'Nice.'

Sam nodded in agreement. Her blue eyes fell to the items he was carrying. 'Dessert?'

'Yeah.' Jack shuffled. He pulled a face, wondering if he could get back to Amy before any awkward introductions needed to happen. 'Amy likes the deli here so…she's, uh, at the counter.' He thrust the tub of ice-cream in the right direction.

'Right. I should let you get back to your date.' Sam offered a small, tight smile. 'Thanks for your help, sir.'

Jack hovered, reluctant to leave her. Carter looked pale; surprisingly fragile with the sling and her civilian dress of jeans, t-shirt and short blue jacket that highlighted her eyes. It had been his fault that she'd had to face down the Aschen alone. Kinsey didn't like him and had banned SG1 from being part of the negotiations. It had only been because Faxon had insisted that Carter had been there at all.

'You sure you don't need some help?' He found himself offering.

'I'll be fine.' Sam insisted bravely.

He remained standing beside her as though his feet had been glued to the floor. 'Carter…' he began and stopped. What was he going to say to her, he thought tiredly.

'Jack?' Amy called his name and both of them jumped.

Jack tried not to flinch as Amy slid an arm around his waist and looked at Sam with blatant curiosity. Carter looked away briefly, her cheeks colouring and Jack repressed the urge to slide away from his date.

'I'm done.' Amy confirmed. She nudged Jack. 'Aren't you going to introduce us?' Her voice was filled with amusement.

'Hmmm?' Jack tried to pretend a nonchalance he didn't feel. 'Amy, Carter. Carter, Amy.'

Sam offered a weak smile.

Amy's brown eyes widened as she made the connection that Sam was Jack's team-mate. She shook herself as the silence continued, seemingly realising that she had been staring. 'I'm sorry. You're just not what I expected an Air Force Major to look like.' She laughed nervously. 'I mean, you're very beautiful.'

'Thank you.' Sam blushed and adjusted her stance slightly.

'Oh, you're injured.' Amy noted with concern, catching sight of the sling. 'How did you do that?'

'I fell.'

'She fell.'

Sam and Jack answered in unison.

Amy looked at them both a little taken aback.

'She had an accident.' Jack expanded, waving at Carter. 'She was…uh…'

'On a ladder.' Sam supplied helpfully.

'And she…' Jack said.

'Missed my footing.' Sam continued seamlessly. She gave an embarrassed smile as though to say 'clumsy me.'

'But she's fine.' Jack added; his eyes on hers.

'Fine.' Sam repeated.

Amy looked from Jack to Sam and back again.

Jack cleared his throat. He gave Carter an apologetic grimace.

'I guess you're going to find it difficult cooking with one arm?' Amy noted, glancing at the trolley with its assortment of chips, pop tarts and cereal.

'I guess,' Sam admitted with a light laugh, 'but I do dial a mean pizza.' She smiled suddenly at Jack who couldn't help but smile back. She suddenly broke eye contact as though remembering Amy and looked at her shyly. 'It's just as well I'm used to eating it all the time.'

Amy smiled and jerked her head at Jack. 'So is he.'

There was another awkward silence and Amy cast another speculative look at Jack who avoided her gaze.

Sam gestured at her trolley. 'Well, I should really continue with this…'

'Yes.' Jack agreed eagerly. He gestured at Amy's basket. 'We should really get going too.'

'It was nice to meet you.' Sam said politely to Amy.

'You too.' Amy said.

Jack waved his ice-cream at Carter and ushered Amy back down the aisle. They paid for their shopping and left. Jack ignored the looks Amy shot him in the truck on the way back and pretended to focus on his driving so he could brood.

OK, he mused, so the worst had happened. Carter and Amy had met. The world hadn't ended.

Much.

He'd just been too aware in that moment of meeting, he realised with immense chagrin, which woman he loved.

Moving on, Jack reminded himself. He and Carter couldn't be together. He was her CO. He had to protect her; they could only be team-mates nothing more. He had fixated on her because she was unattainable, as a way of hiding from the cold empty reality of his life outside of the SGC, not because he was genuinely in love with her.

Only he was.

Genuinely in love with Carter.

He thought back to the moment a month or so before when he had helped his ex-wife Sara pack up their late son's belongings. He had realised as he had looked over the treasures he'd kept that his life had not moved forward since his son's death. He'd believed briefly that maybe his feelings for Carter had been part of his wider self-delusion that he had been rebuilding his life after Charlie.

The last five minutes had shattered that belief. Or maybe the whole Aschen thing had shattered it. He'd only known that as he had acknowledged the possibility that they had found an ally to help with the Goa'uld that maybe, just maybe, there had also been hope of a future – and every time he thought about that future, he always found himself imagining a future with Carter.

Which was bad. Because Jack was her CO, a team-mate, a friend. They had returned to their professional relationship and put their declarations of feeling more than that behind them. Because it had looked like Carter might have had something going with the Ambassador, and Jack wasn't supposed to be jealous of Carter finding happiness and dating another man. Because he, himself, was supposed to be with Amy who was fun and uncomplicated.

But Jack couldn't deny that not once in all the times his mind had strayed to picturing a future had he pictured himself with Amy. It was always Carter.

Always.

He pulled up in front of Amy's house and turned off the engine. Neither of them moved.

'I like spending time with you, Jack.' Amy broke the silence. 'We're good together.'

'We are.' He noted. His hands were still on the steering wheel. He had been up front with Amy that he had baggage and they'd both agreed that their relationship would be light-hearted. He looked over at her and found her looking sympathetically back at him.

'But maybe we should both call it day while it's just fun.' Amy concluded.

Jack winced. Oh, he was so getting dumped. He wondered briefly what had given him away in those few brief moments she had seen him with Carter.

Amy sighed. 'When you said you had baggage I just assumed Sara and…'

'I know.' Jack cut her off.

'We had fun, didn't we?' Amy said with a small smile of regret.

'We did.' Jack acknowledged, registering the tense she'd used.

Amy leaned over and kissed him deeply. He returned the kiss; he knew it was a goodbye. She pulled back and cupped his cheek gently. A moment later, she was gone, disappearing up the walkway into her house, the door closing firmly behind her.

He wondered at the relief coursing through him and closed his eyes, resting his head against the back of the seat for a moment. Jack moved. He started the engine and pulled away. His thoughts drifted back to the decisions he had made over the past month. He knew his fundamental revelation that he had been hiding from life since Charlie's death had some truth in it but he had no idea whether he should be happy or sad about realising that his feelings for Carter were real. Maybe it was the universe's way of getting even with him, Jack mused morosely; allowing him to realise that he deserved to build a life again, that it would honour Charlie's memory if he did, only to understand that the one woman he wanted to build that life with was out of reach.

He paused at the intersection; Carter's house was to the left, his to the right.

His lips twisted. Nothing had changed. Jack turned his truck toward his house. He and Carter couldn't be together and, whatever his feelings, he doubted she felt the same. She had accepted a dinner invitation with the late Ambassador after all and he had caught her humming in the elevator – she had done the same thing when the glowy alien guy had stayed at her house.

Jack winced. He was her CO; that was all he could be to Carter if she was going to stay safe and achieve her potential. Maybe one day they would meet an ally who would really help them and the war would be over, and the possibility of more, of a future with Carter would exist again. But in the meantime, Jack determined purposefully, he would keep his personal feelings for her under wraps and he was going to be the best damned CO Carter had ever had.

o-O-o

Sam stared at the chess board, trying to work out how she had just lost. Her blue eyes flickered to Cassie who grinned back at her. 'You've been practicing.'

'Maybe.' Cassie admitted. 'Thanks for coming over tonight instead of Saturday like usual.' She slid off her bed and stretched with youthful ease.

Sam winced in envy. Her hand crept up to her shoulder. It was mostly healed after almost a week of rest but it was stiff and sore.

'Are you OK?' Cassie asked worriedly.

Sam tried to smile reassuringly. 'Sure.' She gestured at the half-packed suitcase on the floor. 'You haven't finished packing for your trip?' Janet and Cassie were headed to Janet's parents for the weekend.

Cassie made a face. 'I'll do it when I get back from my date with Dominic.'

'Date with Dominic, huh?' Sam said teasingly as she shuffled slowly to the edge of the bed and climbed off.

'Yes.' Cassie blushed as she pulled on a denim jacket. 'We're just going to see a movie.'

'Uh-huh.' Sam nodded; her eyes bright with mirth. 'Making out in the back row…'

Cassie hit her softly with a pillow. 'Sam!'

The doorbell rang as though on cue.

'Go.' Sam ordered, grabbing the pillow from her and waving her out of the door. 'Get out of here.'

Cassie hugged her gently and with a flash of a smile she was gone. Sam placed the pillow back on the bed and smoothed the covers. Her eyes caught on a picture on a bookshelf and she made her way over to it. She picked it up and ran a finger over the gold frame. It was a rare picture of SG1 out of uniform along with General Hammond, Janet and Cassie. It had been taken a year before at a barbeque celebrating the General's return as SGC commander after a brief absence. Her fingers traced over Teal'c's bright red outfit, Daniel's shy smile and the way she and Jack stood so closely together.

They had received the note from the future warning them about the Aschen not too long after the barbeque. Sam sighed. She wondered what had happened in the other timeline. Had they embraced the Aschen as an ally without question? She feared they had. She knew forensics had worked out six years or more had passed before they had sent the note. Perhaps the truth about the Aschen's plans to sterilise Earth had only just come to light at that point or they had seen Earth decimated by their so-called ally. Whatever had happened, Sam had no doubt that the truth about the Aschen had prompted SG1's desperate action in sending the note back to the past.

She rubbed her shoulder thoughtfully. It had comforted her the year before that evidently SG1 had acted together to send the note: the Colonel may have written it but her own fingerprints had been found on the paper. Had she and Jack been together in that future? Sam had to admit that just after the Volians had introduced the Aschen and she had fantasised about the end of the war with the Goa'uld, she hadn't been able to stop the kernel of hope forming that maybe it would give her and Jack a chance if they were no longer serving together, no longer fighting a war together.

Sam bit her lip. They had rewritten the future and maybe she and Jack had been together in that timeline but in her timeline, Jack was with Amy who seemed like a lovely woman. She was happy the Colonel was happy, Sam thought briskly, ignoring the twist of jealousy that knotted her gut. It was for the best. While she and Jack served together, they could only have a professional relationship even if her feelings for him hadn't changed. Maybe, she mused, maybe it would be a good thing if she just buried her feelings for the Colonel and focused on her career for a while.

'Hey.' Janet knocked softly on the door, pulling Sam out of her inner wool-gathering. 'You OK?'

Sam looked over her shoulder and nodded. 'I was just thinking.'

Janet's eyes slid to the picture-frame Sam was holding. 'It's a great photo.'

'Yeah.' Sam placed it back on the shelf. 'It was just after that we got the note from the future.'

'I remember.' Janet said, taking a step inside the bedroom. Her arms were folded over her sweater. 'It's scary, isn't it?' She mused out loud. 'We came so close to making the same mistake despite that note.'

'Scary.' Sam agreed. 'I just hope the President will see we did the right thing.'

Janet looked at her quizzically. 'You almost sound like you wish you were heading to Washington yourself.'

Senator Kinsey had gone through with his threat to insist on a formal investigation and the rest of SG1 along with General Hammond had been called to the capitol to answer questions on what had happened with the Aschen from a Select Committee comprising the Senator, the President and the Joint Chiefs. They were due to leave on a late flight later that night. Sam had been informed she did not have to attend given she was recovering from her injury.

Sam grimaced. 'I wish I was.' She would have preferred to have been with her team instead of stuck at home.

'You have to rest that shoulder.' Janet said firmly, crossing over to the suitcase. She knelt on the floor and pulled out clothes to repack them neatly.

'It's fine.' Sam insisted.

Janet shot her a look of disbelief.

'It's a little sore.' Sam admitted under the doctor's knowing glare. 'But that's all.'

'Hmmm.' Janet folded a sweater and placed it back into the case. She gestured at Sam. 'Your gym has a heated pool, right?'

'Yeah.'

'You might want to try swimming.' Janet said. 'It would help strengthen the muscles.'

'Good idea.' Sam said. She could go in the morning, she decided. 'I should get back.'

'You don't want to stay?' Janet offered. 'I have a bottle of wine.'

'Thanks but I should be getting back.' Sam said, pulling on her jacket. 'Have a good trip.'

Janet walked her out and Sam got into the car. She drove away with a tired sigh. The truth was her shoulder was aching and she was looking forward to getting home. Maybe a relaxing weekend on her own was just what she needed, Sam mused. No interruptions, no saving the world, just some time on her own. Sounded perfect.

o-O-o

Jack slapped the tray down on the table and sat down unhappily to eat his meal. He ignored Daniel's sigh across the table and Teal'c's raised eyebrow that had disappeared under the hat he wore.

'This is a waste of time.' Jack declared. The Select Committee weren't interested in the truth; they were only interested in blaming someone for the treaty negotiations going South.

'As you have said before, O'Neill,' Teal'c noted with enough irritation to let Jack know that even the Jaffa's legendary patience was at an end, 'many times.'

'None of us want to be here, Jack, especially on a weekend.' Daniel said quietly. He picked at his own meal without enthusiasm. 'Did you get hold of Sam?'

'No.' Jack sighed. 'She's not picking up.'

Daniel and Teal'c exchanged a worried look.

'You think she's OK?' Daniel asked, abandoning his meal.

'I don't know, Daniel.' Jack responded tersely.

Carter had been excused from the investigation given her medical condition. Jack had initially been pleased she was being saved the trauma of having to relive the mission but he was beginning to get worried. That morning Daniel had admitted that the last time he had talked to Sam had been the Friday night when they had arrived in Washington. Daniel had tried talking with her all through Saturday too but Sam hadn't responded. When he'd tried again that morning without success, it had bothered him enough to finally tell Jack. Jack had tried himself as soon as Daniel had told him, and he'd tried again when they had been released from the Committee proceedings for lunch with no luck.

'I've called the base.' Jack informed his team-mates briskly. 'I've ordered an Airman to go round and check on her.'

'Maybe she decided to visit her brother or go out of town.' Daniel offered, anxiously. He took a sip of the juice he had picked up.

'She would have answered her cell.' Jack replied, knowing that Daniel knew that already.

'She may have forgotten to take it with her.' Daniel shot back.

Jack pushed his plate away; the food uneaten. 'One of us should have stayed with her.'

'We didn't have a choice.' Daniel reminded him.

'Major Carter is a formidable warrior.' Teal'c said reassuringly.

General Hammond approached the table and Jack partially rose before his CO waved him back into the chair.

Hammond pulled up another and sat down. 'The President has called a halt to the proceedings with Senator Kinsey's agreement. The President agrees that there was sufficient cause for us to confront the Aschen, and that given Major Carter's report on their intent to sterilise our population that any treaty would not have been appropriate. He's not happy that we effectively acted without authority in the matter but he's determined it was the right course of action.'

'That's excellent news.' Daniel said with relief.

'You did a good job, Doctor Jackson.' Hammond said with a paternal smile. 'If you hadn't found the remains of the Volian City and the newspapers, we wouldn't have been able to substantiate our concerns.'

Daniel flushed at the praise. 'It was a joint effort, General. Sam was the one who was able to verify that the Aschen were duplicitous.' His face creased into another anxious frown.

'So are we dismissed, General?' Jack asked brusquely. 'We'd like to get back asap.'

'Is something wrong?' Hammond asked, taking in the tension in the three SG1 team-mates.

'Indeed.' Teal'c murmured. 'We have been unable to contact Major Carter since our flight arrived on Friday evening.'

Hammond's eyes shot to Jack's. 'Have you…'

'I've already contacted the base, sir.' Jack confirmed. 'They're sending someone round to check on her.'

Hammond rose swiftly belying his bulky frame. 'I'll see whether I can get our flight from Andrews moved up. I'll meet you in the lobby in five minutes.' He left before they could say another word.

SG1 headed out and grouped together in an alcove as they waited for Hammond.

'Jack.' Daniel's eyes moved pointedly across the lobby.

Senator Kinsey glared at them coldly before turning back to a dark-haired man beside him. Jack grimaced as he recognised him; Colonel Simmons. Simmons had led an investigation into SG1 when Jack had been trapped off-world and he'd investigated Carter during the whole alien in her house affair. Jack grimaced; he might have known Kinsey and Simmons would know each other. They walked out of sight and Jack released the breath he hadn't even realised he had been holding.

'That can't be a good sign.' Daniel muttered.

'You mean two of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse being seen together?' Jack sighed. He reached for his cell again and redialled Carter's number. 'Come on, Carter,' he muttered, 'pick up.'

'The number you are calling is unavailable. If you would like to leave a message…'

Jack snapped the cell shut.

'Jack…' Daniel began, worriedly.

'We don't know anything for certain yet, Daniel.' Jack reminded him.

'But you think something's happened to Sam, don't you?' Daniel prompted; his blue eyes insistent on Jack's.

Jack was unable to deny it. Carter wasn't the type to forget to take her cell if she was going somewhere and even if she had, she would have called one of them, probably Daniel, to find out what was going on in Washington. Her silence was telling. He looked from Daniel to Teal'c and back again. He nodded slowly.

'Yeah,' Jack said with a heavy sigh, 'I think something's happened to Carter.' And though he hoped to God he was wrong, he knew deep down in his gut he was right.


	11. Always Darkest Before The Dawn

**Author's Note: **Sam/Team friendship. Sam/Jack UST.

**Desperate Measures Recap**: _In Russia, an army convoy is ambushed and a captured Jaffa taken from them. Meanwhile, Sam is grabbed leaving her gym and although she fights back, she is hustled into a white van. Luckily her capture is witnessed by a homeless man. At the SGC, SG1 verify that Sam has been missing for over 48 hours with her car discovered at the gym and a neighbour noting she watched Sam leaving on Saturday morning. Jack goes in search of Sam. He meets up with the homeless man and after the offer of Jack's National Geographic collection, the homeless man informs him that Sam was grabbed by ninjas. Believing the rogue part of the NID may be involved, Jack leaves a message for Maybourne to get in touch. _

_Jack delivers the magazines to the homeless man and meets up with Maybourne who tells him that he doesn't know what has happened to Sam and Jack should prepare himself for her not coming back. He tells Jack to ask User 4574 instead – the ID Sam realised Colonel Simmons was using when he investigated the team. Jack flies to Washington and confronts Simmons, telling him that he won't leave until he has answers. Simmons tells him that he's after the wrong guy: Maybourne just got paid by Zeditron $3 million and Jack should ask for what. _

_While Daniel and Teal'c investigate Zeditron and its reclusive owner Adrian Conrad, Maybourne pays Conrad's assistant Diana a visit. He doesn't get anywhere and as he leaves, Jack takes him hostage demanding answers. Maybourne tells him Zeditron paid for delivery of a Goa'uld symbiote procured from a Jaffa the Russians had captured during their second mission. Maybourne leads Jack to the doctor's office where the symbiote was delivered and they break in to obtain Conrad's medical records._

_Meanwhile Sam has come to in a medical facility but is drugged and loses consciousness again. However, Sam slowly continues to regain her strength and manages to break free and grab a scalpel. She uses it to cut through her restraints._

_Janet confirms Conrad has an incurable disease and that he must be at a hospital. Daniel remembers that Saint Catherine's, a closed hospital in Seattle is part of Zeditron's holdings. He and Teal'c meet up with Jack and Maybourne along with a SWAT team._

_Sam attempts to escape but faced with being shot, gives into Conrad's pleas to listen to him. She is handcuffed to her bed again while Conrad explains that she is the answer to removing a Goa'uld safely from a human – he intends using the symbiote to cure himself but needs the answers her body can provide from her experience with Jolinar to extract the symbiote safely afterwards. He deteriorates and is implanted with the symbiote. Diana tells the doctors to do whatever it takes to get the symbiote out even examining Sam's brain tissue._

_The rest of SG1 is searching the hospital when Sam realises her captors intend to kill her. Just as the doctors are about to give her a lethal injection, Jack bursts in with Maybourne and rescues her. She thanks him. Jack hands her a gun and they rejoin the others in the search for the Goa'uld who has broken free and killed Diana. Maybourne is left covering the doctors but when Daniel revisits the lab, he finds the doctors rendered unconscious and Maybourne no where in sight._

_Jack is shot from behind just as he discovers Conrad; it is Simmons who secretly takes the Goa'uld into custody. Sam finds Jack and radios for help. Back at the SGC infirmary, Jack complains about Maybourne shooting him but Sam notes that the only thing they know for certain is that there's a Goa'uld out there._

**Part I: Always Darkest**

There was a look in Samantha Carter's eyes that Jack O'Neill had never wanted to see there. In some ways it was a miracle that he had never seen it before despite the trauma the Air Force Major had already suffered during her time in the Stargate programme. But it had been a different trauma that Carter had endured in the last week. She had kidnapped by a man – not an alien or someone on a different planet with a skewed sociological development – just a common garden ordinary man on Earth who had put her through hell.

Humans were the worst, Jack considered bleakly as he tried to get comfortable. The pain one human could inflict on another was more terrifying than most of the things that awaited them through the Stargate. The pain Adrian Conrad and his bunch of doctors had inflicted on Carter was amongst the most horrific. She was questioning herself; her worth as a person. After all, if she was worth anything, why would anyone do what they had done to her? Deny her basic human rights; lock her up, experiment on her like she was a lab rat. He could see the questions forming in her deep blue eyes; had seen them in his own too many times.

He had his own experiences at being told he was worthless, at being held captive by men who considered him less than human; a dog, vermin, crap. He remembered the insults; every one. He knew only too well what it was like to be grabbed without warning, to be drugged and restrained. He knew the helplessness and frustration at being unable to prevent what happened; to have no control. He had seen all his old emotions in Carter's face as she had told General Hammond and himself of her experience; it was like looking in a mirror only it was her face and not his staring back at him. It was weird. It was bad. Which brought him back to his original thought; Jack had never, _never_, wanted to see that look in Carter's eyes.

Jack fought the pull of tiredness and he could see Carter was starting to flag too as Hammond wrapped up the make-shift debriefing held by necessity at Jack's bedside given his wounded arm and back. She was pale; too pale. They had kept it to military personnel only to give her the illusion of privacy but Jack figured Daniel Jackson and Teal'c were not far away.

Carter had been matter-of-fact; calm even as she had debriefed. Anybody else might have been fooled by her recounting but Jack knew her too well. He'd seen the tremor in her fingers that she had hidden by clasping her hands behind her back when she'd told of being grabbed at her gym. He'd heard her breath catch before she spoke when she recalled her first awakening, her dislocation, and the realisation that she was restrained. He'd heard the shake in her voice that gave away the terror she had felt.

She'd been drugged for the majority of her stay as Conrad's guest and Jack could see that it disturbed her. She had very few recollections of that period; ceilings, the doctors, dizziness. He empathised. He'd lost weeks of his own life in Iraq. He had no idea what they'd done to him, what he had done during the missing time. It bothered him the not-knowing although he had buried it. Jack knew it would bother Carter. He wondered whether she would be able to bury it in time as he had done.

The doctors holding her had only stopped drugging her to question her it seemed but it had given her an opportunity. He had listened proudly to her as she had told them of her escape attempt. He had seen the same pride in her shining from Hammond's pale blue eyes. Carter had thought on her feet; she had almost gotten out without them.

When she had told them of her conversation with Conrad, Jack had done a poor job at hiding his anger. They'd already worked out much of what she told them; Conrad was dying, he'd planned to use the Goa'uld symbiote to cure himself; he'd believed Carter would provide the answer on how to free himself of the symbiote once he was better. His actions in kidnapping her and using her like a lab rat had seemed entirely justified in his desperation.

Jack couldn't have cared less about Conrad's motives. In his opinion, the guy was a selfish cretin who didn't deserve to live for what he had put Carter through and if he ever came across him again he wouldn't hesitate to kill him. Cold anger settled in Jack's belly; there was something to be said for the whole Jaffa revenge gig. Jack grimaced. The truth was that he'd had Conrad in his sights and he'd been a hair's breadth away from shooting the damn guy when Harry Maybourne had shot him.

Damn it.

He was so shooting Maybourne the next time he saw him. Not that he didn't owe the disgraced former Colonel; Maybourne had helped Jack find Carter in the end.

Jack's eyes ran back over her as she finished answering Hammond's questions on their rescue and return to the SGC. He barely remembered the trip back in the specially arranged jet Hammond had procured. He remembered the hard concrete floor beneath him when he regained consciousness after being shot and trying not to move as Carter had seen to the bullet wound in his arm. He remembered Teal'c and Daniel both appearing with Janet Fraiser. He had a vague memory of being injected with something…of waking on the flight back and seeing Carter asleep in the seat beside him, dressed in spare clothing and shivering despite the blanket someone had placed over her…he had drifted back to sleep with only the thought that Carter was safe.

Carter was safe.

Maybourne's early warning to Jack that he should prepare himself for Carter not coming back hadn't come true and a fresh wave of relief rushed through Jack and stole his breath. He had struggled with the warning even though he had known from the moment they had confirmed Carter was missing that it was a possibility that she was dead. He had refused to believe it.

Couldn't believe it.

Hadn't wanted to.

He had needed desperately to believe that she was alive; that they would bring her home because after an incident where a computer entity had possessed her, Jack knew what it was like to believe Carter was dead and he never wanted to be there again. It had been the reason why he had pushed them both into returning to a professional relationship; to protect himself and to protect her from getting too close while they still had a war to fight. He had even tried to move on and date somebody else as Carter had moved on and dated other guys but it hadn't worked out. He couldn't stand the thought of losing Carter; would rather die himself than lose her.

He still loved her.

That thought rippled through him like blood through his veins, air through his lungs. He would always love her; he was reconciled to that.

But he had still failed to protect her.

The knowledge sat heavy on his shoulders. If he had almost lost her to the computer entity because they were too close, he had almost lost her to Conrad because they weren't close enough. He'd taken a step back; she had taken a step back, and the resulting gap between them was too wide. As her CO he'd had no reason to check in with Carter when the rest of SG1 had been ordered to Washington the weekend before to take part in an investigation over the events with the Aschen. Carter had been injured and exempt from the review despite her pivotal role in revealing the Aschen's duplicity. If it hadn't been for Daniel raising the alarm when he'd failed to get hold of her…

Jack's mind flashed to the moment he had burst into the sterile hospital room and seen Carter struggling with the two doctors for her life. He could remember the light glinting off the needle on the syringe; Carter's terrified face. A second later and he would have been too late. The thought tightened his chest and he rubbed it absently as though to ease the pain in his heart.

It had been close.

Too close. Before their step back, he would have called her himself, Jack thought with some consternation. They would probably have made arrangements to check in with each other. He would have known she was missing so much sooner and maybe, just maybe, they would have found her before the doctors had decided to kill her for their experiment. There had to be a happy medium, Jack contemplated tiredly; some way for him to balance the fact that he loved her with protecting her.

'Colonel?' Hammond's concerned voice broke through his thoughts and Jack glanced up to see both the General and Carter looking back at him worriedly.

'Sorry.' Jack reached up and rubbed his face with his good hand. 'I was…' he gestured vaguely, 'you know.'

'You should probably get some rest, sir.' Sam offered, her blue eyes running over him.

'You too.' Jack shot back. He frowned. 'Shouldn't you be in one of these oh-so-comfy beds yourself?'

Sam's gaze dropped to his feet. 'Doctor Fraiser's given me permission to stay in my quarters.'

Jack's eyes narrowed on her. He had a feeling that she had begged to stay out of the infirmary and given her experience he could understand why; it didn't explain why the CMO had acquiesced. 'That's not fair.' He said out loud, hoping he could distract her from dwelling by getting her focused on something else. 'If you're in quarters, I should be in quarters.'

'You're on a morphine drip, sir.' Sam's eyes flickered back up to him.

'So.' Jack motioned at her. 'Help me out, Carter. I can take it with me.'

'Colonel.' Hammond's use of his rank had Jack subsiding and a brief glance at Hammond revealed the General had known why Jack had made his bid for freedom as they both took in Carter's amusement.

Janet entered and stopped at the sight of the General stood beside the bed. 'Sir?'

Hammond waved her forward. 'Doctor.'

Janet approached with her hands in the pockets of her medical coat. Her brown eyes went straight to Carter. 'You should get some food and rest, Major.'

'I concur.' Hammond said gently. 'We're done here.'

Jack's eyes caught on a movement in the doorway. 'Perfect timing.' He waved his hovering team-mates forward. Daniel entered sheepishly while Teal'c retained an impassive exterior. 'Hey.'

'Hey.' Daniel responded. He crossed his arms as he halted on the other side of the bed from the General, Sam and Janet. 'You OK?'

'I'm on a morphine drip.' Jack said succinctly.

Daniel nodded without replying and his anxious gaze moved to Sam.

'Why don't you kids take Carter and get some food? Make sure she gets some rest?' Jack suggested.

Sam bristled. 'Sir.'

Jack caught her eyes. 'Carter.' He jerked his head at the guys. They had been through hell during the search for her and he figured they needed the time with her as much as she needed food and a straight eight hours. He saw the realisation dawn in her blue eyes.

Sam sighed and smiled wanly at Daniel and Teal'c. 'I guess I could eat.'

'You should keep it light.' Janet cautioned. 'Soft foods.'

Teal'c smiled back. 'It will be a pleasure to escort you to the commissary, Major Carter.'

Daniel smiled, pleased. He glanced back at Jack and the two men exchanged a silent message as the archaeologist acknowledged Jack had passed the responsibility for looking after Carter to him and Teal'c. 'You want us to bring you something back?'

Jack opened his mouth to answer.

'No.' Janet spoke before he could. 'The Colonel will be sleeping. You can come back and see him in the morning.'

'Doc!' Jack protested – more because he knew it was expected than because the idea of sleeping wasn't attractive.

'We'll see you in the morning, sir.' Sam said formally. She hesitated, her eyes flitting to Hammond and Janet as though considering their presence. She obviously decided against saying anything more. She gave a nod and turned for the door.

Jack watched as his three team-mates walked out.

'Doctor,' Hammond said, 'perhaps you can give your report on Major Carter before Colonel O'Neill rests.'

Janet looked for a moment as though she was going to argue but she sighed and nodded instead. 'Her blood work came back clean. Whatever drugs she was subjected to have left her system.' She wet her lips and her eyes darted between the two men. 'There's no physical evidence to suggest she was sexually assaulted during her periods of unconsciousness.'

'Thank God.' Hammond said fervently.

Jack felt his own throat close up at the news. He had wondered; they had all wondered. She had been kept hostage for so long.

Janet nodded. 'Regardless, Major Carter's body was subjected to medical procedures against her will. There are healing puncture marks and incisions on her body. I believe they have performed a number of biopsies.' Her words were crisp but her brown eyes shone with her distress.

Jack shook his head in denial that Carter had been put through that. He could see Hammond struggle with it too.

'Given that, and given the psychological impact…' Janet stopped unable to continue.

'It's just like they raped her.' Jack completed.

Janet nodded reluctantly. 'Control of her body was taken away from her. She was physically assaulted.' She sighed angrily. 'Then there's the trauma of knowing that she was considered to be on a par with a lab rat with these guys. The way she was dehumanised.' She pressed her lips together. 'I recommend a period of psychological treatment before she returns to full duty.'

'She's so not going to like that.' Jack commented without thinking.

The petite doctor glared at him.

'Come on, Doc.' Jack said. 'You really think she's going to open up with Mackenzie? She can barely stand being around the infirmary; around you.' He held her eyes. 'I'm guessing that's why you've agreed to her staying in quarters.'

'Against my better judgement.' Janet shot back. 'And her fear of doctors and the infirmary are part of the reason why it's imperative she get help from professionals, Colonel.'

Jack lifted a hand from his bed and gestured. 'Forcing medical help on her right now is only going to do more damage.' He paused and caught Janet's eye. 'I should know.'

Janet looked momentarily shocked. Jack guessed that it was his sudden willingness to admit that he had been through the same thing that had taken the wind out of her sails. He saw her gaze stray to his morphine drip.

'You have another suggestion, Colonel?' Hammond jumped in swiftly.

'Let SG1 handle it.' Jack said immediately. 'We can get her through it.' He looked at Janet. 'Enough so she might request help.'

Janet frowned. 'And if that means sharing some of your own experiences with the Major, Colonel? Are you telling me you're really prepared to do that?'

'If that's what it takes to get her through it.' Jack didn't hesitate. He hated what he had been through; hated the idea of sharing but if sharing every excruciating minute of his experience helped Carter come to terms with hers, it would be worth it.

'Doctor?' Hammond prompted.

She sighed. 'I would want to monitor the Major's progress, sir.'

'Yes.' Jack couldn't contain his glee at getting his way.

'But.' Janet said quickly. She shot him a look before she turned to the General. 'If I feel that the Major isn't progressing with her recovery, I reserve the right to revisit this and,' she stressed, 'she will be subject to a pysch eval before I clear her for off-world duties.'

'Agreed.' Hammond said.

Jack pulled a face but he accepted the compromise.

'Now you need to rest.' Janet said briskly.

'I need another five minutes with the Colonel.' Hammond said firmly.

'Sir…'

'Five minutes, Doctor.' Hammond promised, holding up a hand to forestall the argument he could see forming in her eyes.

Janet glowered unhappily but acquiesced with a nod. She turned on her heel and left.

'You know she's going to be timing you.' Jack commented and frowned. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. His eyes darted to the drip and he saw Hammond follow his gaze with some bemusement.

Hammond cleared his throat. 'We have a problem.'

Jack sobered. 'You think the investigation on the Aschen was a set-up to grab Carter.' It wasn't a question; he'd had the same thought.

'Let's just say it seems awfully convenient that Major Carter is grabbed the same weekend that the rest of us are required to be elsewhere at the insistence of something instigated by Senator Kinsey.' Hammond noted tersely. 'Add to that that she was a main witness but excluded because of her injury…' His round face was red; his jaw clenched. It was evident what conclusion Hammond had drawn.

'We saw Kinsey and Simmons at the Pentagon. They know each other.' Jack sighed. He pointed at his CO. 'I would bet my house that Simmons knew the exact details of Maybourne's deal with Zeditron and exactly what Conrad had planned.'

Hammond pursed his lips. 'You think Simmons set it up.'

'Set it up or was planning to take advantage of it.' Jack admitted. 'I can't prove it but let's face it; the NID would love to get their hands on a live Goa'uld and they've been after Carter for years. Conrad's plan provided them with two for one.'

The disgust on Hammond's face matched Jack's. 'We dropped the ball.'

Jack couldn't disagree with him.

Hammond sighed. 'I think Major Carter doesn't need to know that her own government may have conspired in her abduction.'

'No, sir.' Jack wondered how he was going to stop her from piecing it together.

'The question is how do we stop it from happening again?' Hammond sighed tiredly.

'We need to start implementing security checks for when we're Earth-side.' Jack said strongly. 'For all SG teams. SG1 may be more at risk but we're not the only ones who've gotten into some strange crap and might be on the NID's most wanted list.'

'I'll issue orders.' Hammond said. He gestured at Jack. 'Get some rest.'

Jack nodded. The morphine had dulled the aches in his body and made him drowsy. Sleep sounded good. He settled back against the pillows and pulled the blankets closer. He closed his eyes.

'Jack.'

Hammond's rare use of his first name had Jack's eyes snapping open.

'Good job bringing her home, son.' Hammond said quietly. His pale blue eyes met Jack's appreciatively and Jack's chest constricted painfully. He sometimes forgot about Hammond's relationship with the Carters; sometimes forgot he wasn't the only one who loved her…

Jack gave a slow nod. Hammond gave a small smile and disappeared. Jack felt his eyes closing again inextricably. Carter was safe; he could sleep.

o-O-o

Sam stirred listlessly at the soup she had selected and pushed what she thought was a carrot from one side of her bowl to the other. She glanced across the table and met Daniel's concerned gaze at the amount of food she had left. She firmed her lips and pushed the meal away reaching for the blue jello she had selected as dessert.

'Major Carter…' Teal'c began but stopped at the glare she levelled on him.

'You should eat.' Daniel said, apparently ignoring her unhappiness at their fussing.

'I am eating.' She pointed her spoon at the jello.

Daniel tutted but subsided. He reached for the pecan pie he had chosen and dug in. For a few moments they were all fixated on eating.

Sam appreciated the quiet. They sat at the back of the commissary, in a table tucked away into the far corner. Its position deterred everyone from coming over; either that or Teal'c's glare. The Jaffa sat beside her, providing a shield between her and the rest of the world. As much as she hated to admit it, she appreciated it. She didn't have the strength to deal with the well-meaning platitudes of other people. She barely had the strength to deal with the usual background noise and the strange feeling of normality at sitting there. She could almost pretend that the past week hadn't happened.

Her team-mates hadn't asked her any questions as they had shepherded her through getting the meal and they had been mostly concerned that she ate something. But she could see the curiosity in their eyes and she knew it was only a matter of time before they started to gently hint that she should start talking.

She just couldn't do it.

It had been bad enough reporting what had happened to her to the General and the Colonel, and she couldn't go through it again. She needed to divert their attention, Sam determined.

She cleared her throat and scooped up another lump of jello. 'So, how did it go in Washington?'

Daniel blinked at her momentarily thrown by her abrupt conversation opener. 'It, uh, went OK.'

'The President determined that we took appropriate action in regards to the Aschen.' Teal'c replied with a satisfied smile.

'That's it?' Sam asked surprised. 'No details.' She teased.

Daniel waved his fork at her. 'There's not a lot to tell you. Saturday was mostly sitting around waiting and Sunday…' he stopped abruptly.

'Sunday?' Sam prompted.

'We were all kind of distracted.' Daniel admitted with a sigh. 'We hadn't been able to contact you and we were worried.'

She paused in scraping the glass clean. It felt good to know they had been concerned when they hadn't been able to contact her; that they had noticed something was wrong. It had been her main worry when she had been cognisant enough to think clearly. With her team-mates in Washington and with her being away on sick leave, she had feared no one would have realised she was gone until she failed to turn up for her check-up with Janet on Monday. She knew she'd been transported and that the trail would have gone cold by the time they realised she was missing.

'We're sorry, Sam.' Daniel said regaining her attention. 'We should have been here.' His blue eyes shone with remorse.

'It's not your fault, Daniel.' Sam said lowering her spoon. Her gaze swept over both her team-mates. 'You had no choice about going to Washington. It was just bad timing.'

At least she hoped that's all it was. The idea that Kinsey may have set-up the investigation to ensure she was isolated that particular weekend had crossed her mind but there was no evidence and, on the whole, she much preferred to believe that what had happened was down to the sick desperation of Adrian Conrad alone.

'Do you think Maybourne actually shot Jack?' Daniel asked suddenly.

'I don't know.' Sam shrugged and frowned at the twinge in her shoulder. The injury she had sustained escaping from the Aschen wasn't completely healed. 'According to the Colonel, Conrad was in front of him and he was shot from behind. It could have been anybody. Maybe one of Conrad's own people.'

'The Goa'uld would be a valuable asset to a man such as Maybourne.' Teal'c suggested.

'Look what Zeditron was willing to pay for the symbiote but a hosted Goa'uld?' Daniel sighed. 'One who could provide information?'

'What was Maybourne doing there anyway?' Sam asked. The question had been nagging at her ever since the disgraced former Colonel had burst in alongside her CO to rescue her.

Daniel and Teal'c exchanged a look clearly debating what to tell her.

'Daniel.' Sam said insistently.

'Jack didn't explain how we found you?' Daniel asked as he pushed his empty plate away and reached for his coffee.

Sam shook her head. 'I was the only one who debriefed.' She said shortly. 'So?'

Daniel took a gulp of caffeine and gestured with the mug. 'As soon as we confirmed you were missing we began searching for you. The police had found your car by your gym so Jack went over to see what he could find out while Teal'c and I questioned your neighbours.'

Sam shifted uncomfortable. She appreciated the necessity but she hated the idea of everyone knowing what had happened to her.

'We were discreet.' Daniel promised her quickly and Sam belatedly realised that too much of her discomfort must have shown on her face.

'We did not uncover any information.' Teal'c continued. 'However, O'Neill was able to ascertain from an eye-witness who had heard your cries that you had been grabbed by a number of men.'

Daniel's lips twisted. 'We figured it might be the rogue part of the NID and Jack thought Maybourne might be useful. We left a message for him and Maybourne made contact with Jack.'

'He suggested O'Neill contact Colonel Simmons.' Teal'c said crisply.

'Simmons was in on it?' Sam's fingers clenched around the spoon tightly. She shouldn't be surprised, she told herself; Simmons didn't like her or the rest of SG1. He had actively investigated them twice trying to discredit them.

'Not exactly.' Daniel said hurriedly. 'When Jack went to see him, Simmons told Jack that Maybourne had lied to him; that if he wanted to find out what happened to you that he should ask Maybourne why Zeditron had paid him three million dollars.'

'The Colonel went to see Simmons?' Sam repeated. 'At the Pentagon?'

Teal'c inclined his head. 'He was most determined to find you, Major Carter.'

Sam shook herself slightly. 'So that gave you the link to Zeditron?'

Daniel nodded. 'We did some research and realised Conrad was probably sick.'

'O'Neill came across Maybourne at Zeditron headquarters and questioned him further.' Teal'c added.

'Maybourne admitted to stealing the symbiote from the Russians…'

'The Russians?' Sam questioned. 'The Russians had a Goa'uld symbiote?'

'They had a Jaffa.' Daniel corrected. 'The symbiote was approaching maturity so…'

Sam nodded in understanding and waved at him to continue.

'Maybourne stole the symbiote and delivered it to a doctor.' Daniel sipped his drink. 'He led Jack to the doctor's office and when Jack faxed us Conrad's medical file, Janet was able to diagnose him. She was the one who suggested that Conrad would probably be at a medical facility which is when I remembered Zeditron owned Saint Catherine's hospital.'

'The building where I was held.' Sam concluded with a shiver. She looked warmly at her team-mates. 'I can't believe you pieced it together.' She smiled tiredly. 'But I can't tell you how grateful I am that you did.'

Daniel and Teal'c exchanged another look.

'Jack did a lot of the legwork.' Daniel said quietly. 'He was determined to find you.'

Sam didn't know how to react to that. She lowered her gaze to the remains of her jello. The Colonel was protective of the whole team, she told herself firmly. He would have done the same if Daniel or Teal'c had gone missing. It didn't mean anything. He had made it clear after he had almost killed her to save the base that he wanted them to have a purely professional relationship and leave their previously declared inappropriate feelings in the past.

Sam knew it was for the best; the regulations existed for a reason. They couldn't love each other and serve with each other. It was too dangerous. She had done her best to follow the Colonel's lead but she had come to the conclusion that she still loved him even if he had moved on and was dating someone else. Sam sighed. She had decided to bury her feelings and focus on her career. She couldn't bear the idea that he would realise how she felt and pity her. She looked down at the remnants of her meal. She was tired, too tired to be thinking about the Colonel and her feelings for him.

'I'm beat.' Sam admitted bluntly. 'I'm going to bed.'

'We will escort you to quarters.' Teal'c informed her as he stood up to allow her to leave the table. Daniel hastily drained his mug and stood up.

She nodded. She wanted to refuse, to claim she was fine, but the part of her that was thankful for the protective presence of her team-mates even in the safety of the base won hands down.

'Thanks, guys.' Sam let them guide her back through the corridors of the SGC. They reached her quarters and Sam slid her card through the security reader. The door swung open.

'Will you be OK?' Daniel asked hesitantly. 'I can stay if you want.' He gave a shrug as though to underscore he didn't mind and that it was her decision.

'I'm just going to crash.' She reached forward and Daniel's arms gently encased her. 'Thank you.'

Daniel hugged her. 'It's good to have you back.'

Sam let go of Daniel and accepted a similar hug from Teal'c.

'Sleep well, Major Carter.' Teal'c said, releasing her.

She stepped back comforted by their evident concern and care for her. 'I'll see you both in the morning.' She entered her room and closed the door.

The silence in the small room was deafening.

She was alone.

Completely alone.

The bed suddenly looked foreboding; the idea of sleep seemed scary. She didn't want to close her eyes and be alone with her thoughts. She didn't want to dream about what had happened to her.

Sam rubbed her arms suddenly chilled. Maybe a warm shower would help relax her, Sam mused. She wandered into the small adjoining bathroom and turned the water on. She began to strip. She unbuttoned her shirt and shrugged it off her shoulders, wincing as her bad shoulder twinged. She pulled off her t-shirt and stopped as her eyes caught on her image in the mirror. She took a step toward it. Her fingers grazed over the small plasters that covered her abdomen; another by her breast and yet another under her arm.

She ripped them off violently exposing the harsh red lines and puncture marks that marred her body. Her breath shortened at the ugly sight of them. Her fingers trembled as they touched each mark. Tears stung her eyes. They would heal and disappear eventually. She took off the rest of her clothing, revealing the patchwork of bruises on her legs and hips; the dull marks that gave away where she had been restrained. She closed her eyes as she stepped under the warm spray of the water.

Her head bowed. Hot tears leaked out from the corners of her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She leaned heavily on the back wall of the shower as she sobbed. Her body shook. Eventually, she sank into a sitting position. She huddled in the far corner; her knees under her chin, her arms tight around her legs. Her eyes were pinned to the open bathroom door. The water cascaded over her shaking form.

Shock.

She was in shock.

She registered the realisation dimly. Seeing the evidence of her experience had made it real again.

She had been abducted.

She had been subjected to examinations.

By humans. Humans on Earth. Not the Goa'uld, or some strange aliens, or the humans of some odd sociological evolution but humans on Earth.

To her captors she had been less than human; not worthy of respect because of her experience with Jolinar; she had been an object to be used and abused. If her team hadn't shown up she would be dead. The memory of the doctors grabbing her so they could inject her, kill her so they could continue their experiments…God, she couldn't even remember most of what had happened to her during the period she had been drugged. All she could remember was not being in control.

Just like when Jolinar had taken over her body except as a host she had seen everything Jolinar did. Everything was too fuzzy this time; too out of focus. There were flashes. She could remember being naked and vulnerable. Cold. So cold. Metal against her skin; needle pricks…rough hands on her body, pulling and pinching.

Sam abruptly stumbled into a standing position and reached for the soap and sponge. She ruthlessly scrubbed at her body, ignoring the sharp sting as her wounds broke open and bled again. She scrubbed and rinsed. Scrubbed and rinsed again. She repeated it until her arms were heavy and tired. She stayed under the spray and let it wash away the remaining suds, the faint blood marks.

She stepped out and shivered violently. She turned away hurriedly and retched into the toilet, grateful that the shower noise covered the sounds of her vomiting her meagre dinner. She flushed the lavatory and rinsed her mouth, brushed her teeth. She reached for a towel, wrapping it around her body tightly. She reached for another and towelled her hair before she slung it over her shoulders. She made her way back into the bedroom.

She dressed into her pyjamas quickly and climbed into the bed. She sat with her back straight against the pillows; her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her calves. Her eyes were locked on the door. She didn't feel safe.

Even in the Mountain.

Even with her team just down the corridor.

She shook badly but stayed where she was. She was tired. So tired. All she wanted to do was sleep.

Her eyes fluttered shut and she snapped them back open. The next time they closed, they stayed shut.

o-O-o

_He was running through a Goa'uld mothership. He could hear his footsteps pounding on the floor and the sharp, short breaths that burned his lungs. Desperation filled him. He couldn't find her…couldn't find her…_

_Suddenly he was in an all too familiar tent. Perfume filled his nostrils; made him dizzy. _

'_Daniel.' Her voice with its Abydonian lilt turning his name from ordinary into the exotic just as she had turned him from an ordinary man into an adventurer._

'_Sha're.' He turned but it wasn't his wife who greeted him. Ammonet stared back at him from Sha're's dark eyes._

'_You will never find her.' Ammonet said harshly. 'She is gone.'_

'_No!' Daniel yelled the word as her hand came up, as the beam hit his forehead, as the pain of losing Sha're filled him…_

_And suddenly everything disappeared and he was stood in the gate room, the Stargate before him. Shifu, Sha're's child, stood on the ramp. He looked as Daniel had last seen him; young, dressed in Abydonian robes and a strangely wise look in his dark eyes. The last time Daniel had seen him, Shifu had been an Ascended being, disappearing through the Stargate with a wave of a flashy glowing tendril._

'_Shifu.' Daniel looked around him, disoriented. 'Where…? What?' He closed his eyes and shook his head as his hand rose to pinch the bridge of his nose. 'I was looking for someone.'_

_Sam, he realised belatedly. Sam had been missing._

'_She is safe.' Shifu confirmed. His young face was troubled. 'You still grieve for Mother.'_

'_Yes.' Daniel sat down wearily on the ramp. 'I miss her.'_

'_Your journey will not continue while you dwell on her loss.' Shifu murmured._

_Daniel sighed. 'Maybe I don't want my journey to continue. I'm not exactly achieving what I set out to do.' He gave a sad laugh. 'I'm not even sure what I'm doing anymore.'_

_Shifu reached out and placed a hand on Daniel's heart. 'The journey must continue if you are to discover your destination.'_

_Daniel frowned. 'You sound like Oma.'_

_Shifu smiled enigmatically. 'Yours will not be an easy journey, Father.'_

_Daniel's eyes widened. 'Father?'_

_Shifu's head tilted like a bird eyeing a worm. 'Father.' He grinned. 'You must return; they need you and you have much to do before our paths will cross again.'_

Daniel woke abruptly, gasping for breath as though he had been running, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. He sat up and the sheet covering his body dropped to pool at his hips, leaving his torso bare. He reached for the bedside light and snapped it on. The room flooded with artificial light. He rubbed at his eyes as he stared blearily at the clock.

It was late – or early depending on the definition. He had only managed a couple of hours of sleep.

Sam.

She was safe, he told himself but his arm was already pulling back the covers. He dressed swiftly into BDU pants, a t-shirt and he dragged a shirt over the top to ward off the chill. He couldn't quite shake the feeling that the last day had been a dream; that they hadn't really found Sam and brought her home. He couldn't ignore the urge to check. He yanked open his door and slipped out silently into the corridor. He stopped short at the sight of Teal'c outside Sam's quarters. The Jaffa sat on a chair; his eyes closed; perfectly still.

Daniel gave an understanding grimace. Evidently, Teal'c had determined that he would guard their team-mate. 'Teal'c.'

The Jaffa's eyes sprang open and settled on Daniel. 'Daniel Jackson.'

'Is she…?' Daniel waved at the door.

'She is sleeping.' Teal'c confirmed. An almost embarrassed look flitted over Teal'c's usually impassive face. 'I thought it would be best for one of us to stand guard.'

'Good idea.' Daniel dropped to the floor beside Teal'c. He leaned back against the wall. 'I woke up and, er, just had to check we really found her.' He closed his eyes and rested his head up against the wall.

Teal'c didn't respond and Daniel figured he understood.

'I was thinking.' Daniel paused as though debating whether to continue and explain further. 'I was thinking about Diana Mendez.' He stopped and sighed. 'Do you think she knew that it wasn't Adrian Conrad?'

'You were considering your own experience with Ammonet.' Teal'c said softly.

'Yeah.' Daniel opened his eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest. 'I knew it wasn't Sha're who tried to kill me; that it was Ammonet, but I just wondered whether…'

'Whether Diana Mendez realised it was not Adrian Conrad who killed her.' Teal'c completed.

She probably hadn't, Daniel considered sadly. Conrad and Mendez didn't really know the Goa'uld; if they had, they would never have come up their insane idea. 'I know they were desperate to save Conrad from his disease but I can't believe they seriously thought they could find a way to control the Goa'uld or extract it.' He muttered. Conrad's plan of curing his terminal illness by using the Goa'uld's healing powers had been deeply flawed. Daniel found his anger stirring.

'They were foolish.' Teal'c agreed. He frowned heavily.

Daniel looked towards Sam's door. He could understand why Sam had not wanted to be in the infirmary, but he couldn't understand why Janet had agreed to her being in quarters. Sam had seemed too fragile – a description he didn't often associate with his team-mate. 'We should have found her sooner.' He complained, wrapping his arms tighter around his body and staring at the empty, silent corridor in front of him unseeingly.

'We recovered Major Carter as soon as we located her.' Teal'c noted.

Daniel shook his head. 'We should have found her sooner.' He repeated, some of his buried frustration rising to the surface and sharpening his words. 'We should have done more.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. 'What more could we have done?'

'I don't know.' Daniel retorted. 'Something. Raised the alarm earlier.' He sighed heavily. 'Gone with Jack to see Simmons.'

Teal'c regarded him evenly. 'Colonel O'Neill explained his reasoning in going into the field alone.'

'You didn't agree with that anymore than I did, Teal'c.' Daniel pointed out. The Jaffa had been as equally as frustrated as Daniel at being left to the background work as Jack had called it.

Daniel pushed himself off the floor and got up to pace. 'I just…I just feel completely useless.' He turned back to Teal'c. He folded his arms over his chest. 'I mean, what happens now? What do we say? Do we say anything?'

'I do not know.' Teal'c confessed. 'We can only offer our support as Major Carter recovers from her experience and as O'Neill recovers from his wounds.'

Daniel nodded. He fidgeted for a long moment at Teal'c's gentle reminder of Jack's injury. Sam hadn't been the only one they had almost lost the previous day; the memory of seeing the bruise on Jack's back had been startling as had Janet's crisp observation that if the Colonel hadn't been wearing a vest he'd be dead. He waved back down the corridor towards the elevator. 'I'm going to go check on Jack.'

Teal'c inclined his head in agreement. Daniel walked away slowly. He entered the elevator and rubbed his sore eyes. The infirmary was quiet. The medicinal smell that always permeated its corridors had Daniel wincing. He pulled up a chair by Jack and sat down.

Daniel watched the older man sleeping. The Colonel's face was tensed, the lines that criss-crossed his features deep and heavy, as though the stress of the past week had followed him into his dreams. It probably had, Daniel mused tiredly.

It seemed surreal.

The whole thing had taken on the quality of a nightmare; Sam getting kidnapped; their frantic search for her; the rescue. He shuddered. If it seemed like a nightmare to him, he hated to think what it felt like to Sam. She had been the one captured, taken hostage; experimented upon.

Guilt stirred. Intellectually, he knew it wasn't his fault or SG1's for leaving Sam alone the previous weekend. They had followed their orders to take part in the investigation. They couldn't have known what would happen.

Yet.

He couldn't deny that he wondered if he should have raised the alarm earlier when she hadn't responded to his first set of messages. He had waited too long. It chilled him to think he had debated telling Jack when he did.

Jack shifted in his sleep.

Daniel figured his feeling of guilt was shared by the military man. Jack had worked tirelessly to find Sam during the past week to the exclusion of all else despite the lack of leads and information. Daniel wondered what that meant…if it meant anything. Jack was dating an attractive woman; he had moved on from his feelings for Sam…or had he? Daniel couldn't forget Jack's single-minded purpose during Sam's absence. Jack had acted like a man searching for the woman he loved. Daniel recognised the signs; he had spent the first two and a half years of the Stargate programme doing the same thing when he had searched for Sha're. Maybe that's why he had dreamed of his late wife. If they hadn't found Sam or if they had found Sam too late; Daniel knew only too well what that felt like and he wouldn't wish it on Jack. It felt like failure. Pure and simple failure.

He nudged his glasses up his nose and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

A soft moan caught Daniel's attention and he quickly looked over at his friend. He shifted into Jack's eye-line as the older man came to and blinked groggily. For a moment, he could see the rush of emotions in Jack's eyes as the memory of the previous day came back; fear, worry, joy, relief. Daniel passed a mug of water to Jack.

Jack took a long drink before he passed it back. 'Carter?'

His lips twitched. He might have known Jack's first question would be about Sam, Daniel mused. 'She's asleep in her quarters. Teal'c's watching over her.'

Jack nodded. 'Good.' His guarded gaze travelled over Daniel. 'You look like crap.'

Daniel flushed at the blunt remark. He shrugged at Jack's questioning stare and pushed his hands in his pants' pockets. 'I couldn't sleep. I mean, I slept but then I was dreaming and I woke myself up because I needed to check on Sam and…' he took in Jack's amusement, 'and you didn't need to know that.'

Jack made a face. 'Hey, if I wasn't shot I'd probably be thinking the whole thing was a dream too.'

'Or a nightmare.'

'Or that.' Jack agreed. He grimaced as he readjusted his position.

'You want me to, er, get the nurse.' Daniel pointed over his shoulder.

'I'm good.' Jack said grumpily.

'Really.' Daniel drawled in disbelief. His eyes flickered to Jack's bandaged arm.

Jack ignored him.

'If you hadn't been wearing a vest you'd be dead.' Daniel remarked seriously.

'Don't remind me.' Jack muttered. 'I'm going to kill Maybourne the next time I see him.'

'You really think it was Maybourne?' Daniel frowned.

'You don't?' Jack questioned brusquely.

'Well, I know you two have a…strange relationship going on…'

'Daniel.' Jack said warningly.

Daniel shrugged. 'But I just don't see it. He had no reason to shoot you, I mean beyond the obvious want to shoot you.'

Jack's eyebrows quirked upwards. 'Yeah, well. I'm just glad it was me and not Carter.' He let his head fall back against the pillow. 'If I'd sent her down to the basement…'

'You couldn't have known, Jack.' Daniel said comfortingly.

'I sent her searching for the Goa'uld on her own, Daniel.' Jack corrected. 'She was without a vest...back-up.' He shook his head as though to underscore that he'd had no idea what he had been thinking.

'If you'd been together you both would have been shot.' Daniel pointed out. 'And besides, I think she appreciated you giving her some control after…everything.'

Jack's eyes brightened. 'Has she talked with you?'

Daniel reached behind him and sat back down. 'She questioned whether Simmons was in on it.'

Jack stilled. 'She did?'

'You think he is.' Daniel realised. He slumped back, glaring at Jack. 'When were you planning to tell us?'

'Tell you what?' Jack retorted, playing dumb.

'That our own government may have been involved in Sam's abduction.' Daniel shot back.

Jack sighed heavily. 'We don't know that.'

'Yes we do.' Daniel replied.

'No, we don't.' Jack insisted.

'We do.'

'We don't.'

'We do.'

'I'm not doing this, Daniel.' Jack snapped. He thrust a hand toward the archaeologist.

There was a tense silence.

'Conrad had to get his information from somewhere. I don't know why I didn't think about that before.' Daniel put it together out loud. 'Simmons was probably responsible for the information about the symbiote and Sam ending up in Conrad's hands in the first place. He probably set it up and used his connection with Kinsey to make sure we were out of the way to give Conrad the best chance of grabbing Sam.'

'We can't prove it.' Jack muttered.

'This isn't the first time Simmons has come after us, Jack.'

'You think I don't know that, Daniel?' Jack closed his eyes wearily before he reopened them.

Daniel subsided unhappily. It hurt him more than he wanted to admit that members of his own government – the same government that he had helped save time and time again – might have conspired to kill his friends. It hurt to think all their efforts, everything they had done to help protect Earth was so poorly valued by the very people they put their lives on the line every day to save. It wasn't that he did what he did to garner favour with the likes of Simmons and Kinsey but he didn't do it to have people like them treat him and his friends like garbage either. He sighed. The truth was he didn't really know why he was still going through the Stargate. He had wanted to find Sha're, wanted to make a difference, and instead all he seemed to have done was started a war they couldn't win.

'How do we even stay safe if someone like Simmons is after us?' Daniel wondered.

'We're going to start putting safety checks in place for when we're Earth-side.' Jack informed him. 'It's not much but it should mean we get quicker at realising when someone goes missing.'

Daniel sighed.

'The important thing right now is helping Carter get through this.' Jack added. He gestured at him. 'I've talked Fraiser into giving us some time before she insists on Carter seeing Mackenzie.'

Daniel's eyebrows shot up above the frames of his glasses. 'You think that's wise?'

'You don't?' Jack shot back.

'I don't know.' Daniel admitted. 'I'm not sure she's going to open up with us anymore than she would with Mackenzie.'

Jack sighed. 'What about last night?'

'She wanted to hear about how we found her.' Daniel said. 'She didn't really talk to us.' He sat forward. 'She told you what happened?'

Jack nodded slowly. 'In her report.'

'And?'

'And she was drugged most of the time.' Jack replied shortly. 'They brought her out of it to ask her questions; she tried to escape but Conrad caught her. They'd handcuffed her to that bed where I found her only a couple of hours before we turned up.'

'Wow.' Daniel sighed. 'Some timing.'

'Yeah.' Something flitted across Jack's face. The military man glanced at the clock. 'You should go back to bed.'

Daniel sighed and got to his feet. 'You, uh, you need me to call anyone?' He asked, remembering Jack's lady friend.

'No.'

'What about…'

'I'm not seeing her anymore.' Jack said succinctly, cutting Daniel off before he completed the sentence.

Daniel wondered if it had anything to do with the way Jack had searched for Sam in the last week. 'I'm sorry.'

Jack shrugged and winced as the movement caused him pain. He gestured at Daniel. 'Just…go get some sleep.'

Daniel pulled a face and sketched a wave goodbye. He paused in the corridor and looked at his watch. He'd head to bed and grab a couple of hours more sleep, he decided. Given Jack's plans he figured he was going to need it and he wasn't going to be any use to his friends if he was falling asleep on his feet.

o-O-o

Janet hid her smile as she took in the sitting Jaffa by Sam's door. She had suspected SG1 would close ranks around the Major and she hadn't been wrong. She clasped her clipboard closer and carried on down the corridor. She hadn't really been keen on the idea of letting Sam out of the infirmary but she had realised restraining her might have done more damage than good. She had managed to get Sam's agreement that Janet could check on her at any time and she had arrived early that morning determined to make sure Sam was OK especially since she had not been observed overnight by medical personnel.

The Jaffa rose at her approach and bowed slightly. 'Doctor Fraiser.'

'Teal'c.' Janet smiled. 'I just want to check in on Major Carter.'

He moved aside and Janet stepped forward. She rapped on the door. 'Major. It's Doctor Fraiser.'

There was no reply and Janet pressed her ear up against the door, concerned. She pressed her lips together thoughtfully. She rapped on the door again. 'Sam? It's Janet. I've come by for the check-up we talked about yesterday.'

The silence continued.

Janet spun on her heel to face Teal'c. 'Is it possible she left her quarters?'

Teal'c placed his hands behind the back. 'I have been by her door since she entered.'

'Have you heard any kind of disturbance from inside at anytime?' Janet asked, her eyes moved back to the door.

'I have not.' Teal'c said. His eyebrow darted upwards. 'Do you believe something is wrong, Doctor Fraiser?'

'She's not answering.' Janet said concerned.

'Perhaps she is sleeping.' Teal'c suggested. 'She may not have heard your knock.'

Janet felt a frisson of unease. It was a reasonable idea but her gut was telling her something was off. 'Maybe you should try.'

Teal'c turned and knocked on the door loudly. 'Major Carter. It is Teal'c.'

The door remained firmly closed.

A door further down the corridor opened and Daniel stumbled out, bare-footed and dressed only in his BDU pants. Any other time Janet would have taken a moment to admire the toned torso but her anxiety over Sam was paramount.

'What's going on?' Daniel asked, walking up to them and peering at them blearily. The shadows under his own eyes gave away his lack of sleep.

'I came to check in on Sam but she's not answering.' Janet informed him. She sighed heavily. 'I knew I shouldn't have agreed to her staying in her quarters. I should have kept her in the infirmary for observation.'

Daniel's eyes widened. 'You think she's unconscious?'

'I don't know.' Janet admitted. 'But the fact that's she's not answering her door is not a good sign. She was subjected to a lot of medical procedures.'

'Don't you have a card that can get in?' Daniel asked urgently, responding to her worry. 'I mean, in case of medical emergency?'

'Perhaps I should secure one from security.' Teal'c offered. His dark eyes gave away his own anxiety.

'Please.' Janet said. She didn't watch as Teal'c raced away. She stepped back up to the door and knocked again. 'Sam? It's Janet. Please open the door.'

Daniel joined her. 'Sam! It's me, Daniel. Please just open the door.'

'It's not working.' Janet paced away from the door. 'I knew I should have insisted on her staying in the infirmary.'

'It's not your fault.' Daniel hastened to comfort her.

'It is my fault.' Janet rejoined passionately. 'I'm her doctor! I should have followed protocol instead of allowing my friendship with her sway my professional judgement.' Sam had begged not to be restricted to the infirmary and Janet had given in because the younger woman had been through so much. It had been the wrong decision.

'Hey,' Daniel put a hand on her shoulder, 'you were trying to do the right thing.'

Janet took a deep breath; getting upset was not going to help Sam and she needed to focus. It was possible that Sam was just deeply asleep, she reminded herself. Or that she'd had some kind of reaction to the drugs she had been subjected to during her abduction and was lying unconscious, the voice inside her head argued back. Whatever the situation, she mused, she was going to need to be more prepared than simply having a penlight, a stethoscope and a clipboard. 'I need to phone the infirmary.'

'Use the phone in my room.' Daniel offered.

'Stay here,' Janet told him briskly, 'keep trying to rouse her.'

Daniel immediately turned back to the door and started tapping softly.

Janet hurried down the corridor and into Daniel's quarters. She barely took in the disturbed bed in the centre as she picked up the phone and dialled the infirmary. She quickly ordered a team of medics with a gurney, crash cart and other emergency equipment. She wanted to be prepared for anything. She slapped the phone back into the cradle and took another breath.

Her eyes fell on the picture of Daniel's wife on his bedside table. She had seen the one in his office but she hadn't realised he kept a picture in his quarters. He must still love her a great deal to have a picture so close to the bed, Janet considered as she made her way out of the room. She pushed the twinge of envy aside as she made her way back to him.

'Anything?'

'Nothing.' Daniel sighed. 'I should have stayed with her last night. I offered…we offered,' he motioned at the vacant chair where Teal'c had kept watch, 'but she said she was fine.'

Janet knocked sharply on the door. 'Major! Please open the door! That's an order!'

There were footsteps behind them and they both turned to see General Hammond hurrying towards them with Teal'c and a security guard.

'Doctor.' Hammond said briskly. 'I understand you're trying to gain access to Major Carter's quarters.'

'Yes, sir.' Janet motioned at the door. 'I have cause for concern, sir, given her recent ordeal.'

Hammond nodded. 'Very well. Airman, open the door.'

The security man reached forward with his card and slid it through the reader. The light blinked green and the door audibly unlocked.

Janet immediately moved forward. She knocked again briefly before pushing the door open. She peered into the dark room. 'Major Carter?'

'Stay away.' Sam's voice called out weakly from the other side of the bed.

Janet could barely make out Sam's form. The light from the corridor fell across an empty bed and she could see Sam huddled into the shadows of the corner of the room. She squinted. 'Sam, it's me. I just want to confirm that you're OK.'

'No.' Sam snapped. 'No more experiments. Stay away from me or I'll shoot.'

Janet froze at the entryway. That didn't sound good; Sam sounded confused and disoriented. More to the point; how had Sam gotten a gun?

'Doctor?' Hammond questioned urgently behind her.

'I think she's disoriented.' Janet said quietly, her heart racing as she slowly raised her hands so Sam could see they were empty. 'It's possible we woke her from a deep sleep and she's uncertain of her bearings. Let me talk with her, sir.'

'Is there any possibility she has a weapon?' Hammond asked sternly.

'Uh,' Daniel cleared his throat. 'She had one yesterday when we were looking for the Goa'uld. Jack gave her it.'

Hammond sighed. 'And she didn't return it?'

'I don't think any of us thought to ask her.' Daniel admitted chagrined. 'We were just relieved at finding her.'

'Doctor,' Hammond tapped her shoulder, 'step out of the room.'

'Sir?' Janet looked over her shoulder at him surprised.

'I can't take the risk.' Hammond said firmly.

'Sir, if you send a security detail in here, the Major will be traumatised further.' Janet said quickly. 'This was my mistake. I should have kept her under observation in the infirmary. Please.'

'I'm sorry, Doctor, but I cannot allow it.' Hammond declared authoratively. 'Step back; that's an order.'

Janet sighed and stepped back. She immediately turned to her commanding officer. 'Sir, I have to protest.'

'Maybe Teal'c and I should go in.' Daniel said quickly. 'I don't think she'd shoot us.'

'I cannot allow anyone to go in there.' Hammond said. 'Not while she's disoriented and potentially armed.'

'Sir,' Janet began again.

'What about me?' Jack's voice broke in authoratively and Janet turned to glare at him, absently noting the arrival of the equipment and personnel from the infirmary that she had ordered along with the Colonel.

'What are you doing here, Colonel?' Hammond's glare rivalled Janet's.

'I heard Carter's refusing her wake up call?' Jack said dryly. He gestured with his good hand at the open door – his injured arm was in a sling.

Janet's eyes landed on the orderly who shrugged apologetically. She couldn't blame him. She figured the Colonel had probably insisted on making his way to the Major's room as soon as he had heard the news.

'My decision remains, Colonel.' Hammond said forcefully. 'If there's any chance Major Carter is armed, I cannot risk sending someone into that room.'

'Sir,' Jack said pleadingly, 'Carter's confused. That's all. Let me go in and bring her out.'

Hammond and Jack exchanged a long look.

Janet watched with bated breath and she could see the same tension on everyone else's face.

The General sighed. 'Are you certain about this, Colonel?'

'Yes, sir.' Jack said confidently. 'I am.'

Hammond's fingers clenched at his sides but he nodded reluctantly. 'You go in at your own risk.'

'Understood, sir.' Jack said. It was clear he didn't really care about the risk to himself.

Janet moved out of the way, feeling wholly inadequate. She should probably protest, she thought sadly. The Colonel was injured; he was in no condition to go in that room yet…she inwardly sighed. Sam was rightly wary of doctors given her trauma and Janet knew if anyone could get through Sam's fugue it would be the Colonel.

Daniel sighed heavily. 'Jack.'

'Daniel.'

'Are you sure you don't want Teal'c and I to come in with you?' Daniel asked. His voice hummed with nerves but Janet could see he was hopeful.

Jack patted his arm. 'Not this time, Daniel.' He took another step. 'Carter, I'm coming in.'

He walked inside and closed the door.

o-O-o

The door clicked shut behind Jack. He hoped Hammond would understand why he'd closed the door and would keep it locked for a while. There were things he might be prepared to share with Carter given the circumstances but Jack didn't really want the whole base knowing his past – and he figured Carter would be mortified if the details of her own experience leaked out. Jack moistened his lips and stayed still, allowing his eyes to adjust as the light seeped in around the door and cast the room in shades of grey.

He made out the bed, rumpled and stripped of its blankets as though Carter had been startled awake. His chocolate eyes snagged on a huddled shape in the far corner, wedged up against the wall.

'Carter.'

The shape moved. 'Sir?'

The misery in her quiet voice almost made him smile despite the circumstances. 'You woken up yet?' He asked bluntly.

'Yes, sir.' Sam replied.

'The gun?' His heart pounded as he waited for her answer.

He heard her sigh heavily. 'No gun, sir.'

'OK.' Jack made his way over to her and lowered himself to the floor beside her, ignoring the pain that bit into his back and arrowed down his arm. Carter was curled up into a small ball, her face buried in her hands. They sat for a long moment side by side.

Jack darted a look at her and wet his lips. 'You want to tell me what happened just now?'

Sam shook her head and he caught a glimpse of tears on her cheeks. 'I don't know. I was sleeping and someone was breaking into my room so I…'

'Hauled ass and threatened to shoot?' Jack completed when she stuttered to a halt.

'I just reacted.' Sam continued sadly.

'Of course you did.' Jack said sympathetically. 'Hell, Carter, if it was me I would have probably just attacked.' He had in the past; broken the arm of the nurse who'd had the misfortune to wake him the first morning he'd been liberated from an Iraqi prison.

Sam looked at him. He could see the faint outline of her face; the glimmer of her eyes. She shifted beside him and he felt her inch closer. 'I threatened Janet.'

Her voice was a whisper.

'That why you didn't come out once you realised where you were?' Jack questioned gently.

She didn't reply. He saw her duck her head in a classic Carter avoidance move.

'Carter?' He prompted.

'I tried but I couldn't seem to move, sir.' She whispered. Her hands gripped her knees tightly; he could see the knuckles turning white.

Jack nodded. He knew how much it had cost her to admit that. 'Well, I can see why you wouldn't want to; lovely floor, nice wall.'

Sam shook her head. 'I should be stronger than this.'

He could hear the tears she was holding back in her choked voice. 'You're one of the strongest people I know, Carter.' He said sincerely. He knew that for a fact. Any one of the challenges she had faced would have downed a lesser person. 'And you're not alone. You've got me, Teal'c, Daniel. You know that, right?'

Sam nodded jerkily. He could hear the catch in her breath.

'C'mere.' Jack slung an arm around her shoulders and tugged her towards him. He didn't care if it was inappropriate or the wrong thing to do as her CO. She cuddled into his side and rested her head on his shoulder. He could feel the hot splash of her tears soaking into the thin infirmary pyjamas he was wearing. He stayed silent and let her cry, knowing she didn't want him to acknowledge her weakness. She stopped eventually; hiccupping slightly and sniffling.

Carter shifted suddenly to face him. Jack knew it wouldn't take much to lean forward and capture her lips with his; to kiss her; to assure himself on a primal level that she was alive. He didn't even think she would resist. But it would be taking advantage of her when she was vulnerable. He stayed still and she returned to her previous position, resting her cheek against his shoulder again.

He was reminded of how they used to cuddle when they'd thought they were entirely different people by the names of Jonah and Thera. He'd missed it, he realised regretfully; missed her. He was beginning to understand in his haste to resurrect the professional boundaries between them, he'd come close to destroying their friendship along with the promise of more someday.

Well, not anymore, Jack determined strongly. Even if he and Carter couldn't be something more than friends, they could be friends. There was nothing wrong with that; nothing inappropriate; nothing against the regs. She stirred beside him and he dragged his mind back to the immediate problem. They couldn't sit on the floor of Carter's room all day no matter how much he liked it there.

'You know after this morning Fraiser's going to revoke your staying-in-your-quarter privileges.' Jack said conversationally.

Sam sighed and he felt her tense at the idea that she was going to have to be in the infirmary.

'I was thinking maybe we could convince her to give us one of those isolation rooms to ourselves?' Jack continued, keeping his tone light. 'Like we had just after Antarctica? It'll be like old times.'

'Really?'

'Sure.' Jack agreed. 'Besides, I could do with some chess practice. Cassie keeps remembering Daniel's moves.'

'I thought she was getting really good.' Sam commented, her body relaxing again.

'She's sneaky.' Jack said proudly. He felt her lips curve through the thin material of his top. He glanced toward the door. He didn't think they would have much longer before someone came in to check that Carter hadn't shot him. 'You ready?'

She hesitated but nodded. She didn't move.

'You're going to have to help me up here, Carter.' Jack prompted. He figured her ingrained compassion would kick in with the plea and he was right. She shifted immediately, taking hold of his arm and assisting him to his feet. He ushered her into a robe and they moved out to the door side by side. Jack opened it with his good hand and peeked out. He was relieved to see just Janet, Daniel and Teal'c. Hammond had evidently got rid of the rest of the circus.

'Hey.' Jack greeted them and nudged Sam out of her room.

Sam gave a small, fleeting and embarrassed smile before her eyes landed apologetically on the waiting doctor's. 'Janet…I am so sorry.'

Janet looked over her briskly. 'That's OK but…'

'I'm staying in the infirmary.' Sam completed, grimacing.

'I thought one of those nice isolation rooms like the one we had after Antarctica?' Jack hurried out. He hoped Janet got the message not to separate the two of them.

Janet shot him a look but nodded. 'I'll see what I can arrange.' She motioned toward the elevator. 'Shall we?'

They all started off down the corridor, Janet leading the way with Jack and Sam following her, flanked by their team-mates.

Jack frowned at Daniel suddenly taking in the other man's undress. 'Daniel.'

'Jack.' Daniel replied.

'Shirt.' Jack said with a smirk.

Daniel looked down at his bare torso. He spun around and headed back to his room.

Jack grinned, inwardly pleased as he saw an answering amusement light up Sam's blue eyes momentarily before she looked away. It was going to be hard getting Carter through her experience but he resolved he would get through it; SG1 would get her through it.

**Part II: Before The Dawn**

Teal'c focused on the chess board and regarded his opponent with a fierce glower as she removed his king from play.

Cassandra Fraiser smiled sweetly back at the Jaffa. 'Your turn, Teal'c.'

Teal'c's dark eyes fell back to the board. He preferred the Jackals and Hounds game that he and Daniel Jackson played regularly but he enjoyed chess. He relished the challenge of determining strategy and he always played to secure victory. He picked up a knight and sent it into battle. He secured one of Cassie's white pawns and added it to the small pile of pieces he had removed. He studied the board with satisfaction unaware of the look of amusement Jack and Sam shared while watching him. He had been inveigled into the game during Cassie's visit to Sam for their usual game. Sam had played one game but she had tired and the other members of SG1 had stepped in. They had set up the board on a table between the beds allowing Jack and Sam to watch unimpeded.

The Air Force Major hadn't said much since the incident the day before when the Colonel had intervened to bring her out of her quarters. She had been embarrassed by it and while they were all ignoring the fact that it had happened, the very visible outcome – her return to the infirmary – reminded them all too evidently that it had happened. Janet had arranged an infirmary ward. Without discussion, Teal'c and Daniel had also taken up residence in the room. Daniel had simply assumed ownership of the third empty bed on the other side of Sam while Teal'c was content to take a chair by the door. They were in and out of the room during the day and left when Janet insisted the injured pair needed to rest but overnight they provided Sam with a blanket of protection that was as much for their benefit as it was for hers.

Cassie's visit would have usually have been cancelled but Hammond had ordered additional security to be implemented into the homes of the SGC staff. As SG1 and Cassie were at the top of the at-risk list, they had all insisted the Fraiser home be tackled first. Janet had decided to allow Cassie's visit to Sam as a way of getting the teenager out of the house while the security men completed their work and a way of brightening up Sam's otherwise despondent mood. Janet had told them she hadn't decided what to tell the teenager beyond the basic facts; that Sam had been kidnapped, that Jack had been injured rescuing her and that they were all going to be more careful with their personal security going forward.

Cassie frowned in response to Teal'c's move. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and looked at the board just as seriously as Teal'c. It filled Teal'c with pride. She was learning well. Her hand snaked out and hovered over one piece before she suddenly changed her mind and shifted another piece.

Checkmate.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. He lifted his eyes to meet Cassie's and she grinned back at him. Teal'c bowed his head; conceding his defeat.

'Nice.' Jack commented.

Teal'c's head snapped to the SG1 team leader.

Jack puffed out his chest. 'I believe I remember some of those moves.' He gestured at the board.

'Me too.' Daniel commented, looking up from his translations.

'Me three.' Sam said, adjusting the blankets around her as though she was cold.

'Do you require another blanket, Major Carter?' Teal'c asked.

She shook her head.

Cassie rolled her eyes and grabbed a blanket off Jack's bed. She passed it to Teal'c who accepted it with a small inclination of his head. He shook it out and placed it over Sam reverently.

Sam sighed. 'Thank you.' Her eyes sneaked to Cassie. 'Both of you.'

Cassie grinned irrepressively. 'So who's up for another game?'

'What?' Jack said dryly. 'Beating me and Teal'c wasn't enough for you today?'

'You played well.' Teal'c murmured. 'I was not expecting such a bold move.'

'Jack taught me that one.' Cassie admitted.

Jack grinned proudly. 'I did.'

Cassie stuck her tongue out at him and Jack responded in kind.

'Sir.' Janet's voice whipped across the room from the doorway.

Jack hastily plastered an innocent look on his face as he turned to greet the CMO. 'Doc.'

Sam ducked her head to hide a smile.

Teal'c was pleased to see it.

'I think it's time we left the Colonel and the Major to rest.' Janet said decisively, folding her arms over her chest.

'Mom!' Cassie protested automatically.

'Yeah,' Jack chimed in, 'Mom!' His dark eyes twinkled mischievously.

Janet shot him a warning look before sliding her gaze meaningfully toward Sam. Jack looked immediately contrite.

Cassie sighed expressively and hugged Sam goodbye. 'Get better soon.' She walked the short distance over to Jack and hugged him too, careful of his bandaged arm. She accepted Teal'c's muscular arm as he silently offered to escort her from the room.

Janet cleared her throat as Daniel remained riveted to his research.

'Oh.' Daniel said, looking up and blinking. 'Right.' He climbed off the infirmary bed and gathered up his papers.

Teal'c bowed his head at Jack and Sam as he left them.

Janet closed the infirmary door behind them. She slid an arm around Cassie's shoulders. 'Why don't you sit in my office for the next hour and do some homework?'

'Can't I just catch a ride home?' Cassie argued. 'I could go to the movies with Dominic like I planned.'

'Cassie…'

Teal'c could see the conflicted look on Janet's face.

'Look, the house isn't going to be finished until later,' Janet said firmly, 'and I would rather you stayed here.'

'Perhaps a game of Jackals and Hounds?' Teal'c suggested, stepping in to divert Cassie's attention.

Cassie regarded him with a long look. 'OK.' She darted a look back toward her mother. 'If that's OK with you, Mom?'

Janet sent a chiding look but nodded. 'If it's OK with Daniel; it's his game.'

Daniel nodded quickly. 'Sure. I don't mind. I was heading to my office to continue with this.' He raised the mess of papers and books he was carrying.

Cassie joined Daniel and Teal'c as they made their way to Daniel's office. Teal'c knew Cassie loved the room and he too appreciated its familiar comfort. The smell of old books permeated the air; the shelves of the room were crammed with them; reference books, journals. They mixed with stacked reports and research papers and the artefacts that littered the room haphazardly to an observer but with a strange order for those who understood history.

Daniel cleared a section of the central bench, simply dumping the papers and books onto a nearby stool. He set up the game and retreated to his desk.

Teal'c seated Cassie before he took his own chair. They began playing and Teal'c felt some of his own tension from the events of the past week drain from him as he went through the familiar actions.

'So,' Cassie said, clearing her throat, 'is anyone going to tell me what really happened?'

The question startled Teal'c into raising his eyes to meet her worried face. Teal'c looked over at Daniel seeking his assistance in answering the question.

Daniel was looking back at Teal'c with bemusement. He cleared his throat. 'What do you mean?'

Teal'c approved; an evasive approach was a good tactic. It would buy them time.

'You're all worried.' Cassie said. She folded her arms over her chest and looked at both men expectantly.

'I, uh…' Daniel stumbled over his words. He nudged his glasses up his nose. 'Your Mom explained what happened, didn't she, Cassie?'

Cassie sighed. 'She told me about Sam getting kidnapped but that doesn't explain why everyone's still worried. I mean you caught the guys, right?'

Daniel and Teal'c exchanged a look of consternation. Neither of them wanted to lie to her but both of them were unsure what Janet would want them to say.

Daniel motioned at Teal'c to reply.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow and stayed silent.

'You didn't catch them?' Cassie surmised loudly. Her eyes widened as she looked at Daniel for confirmation.

'Not exactly.' Daniel mumbled, looking down at his translations as though he would find a means of escape in the words.

'We were able to capture many of the men involved with Major Carter's disappearance.' Teal'c reassured Cassie swiftly.

'But?' She prompted; her eyes were wide on his.

'But the man who was primarily responsible was able to evade capture.' Teal'c confirmed.

Cassie sighed. 'And that's why we've got the extra security? Why Mom's so worried about me going out alone with Dominic?'

'It's just a precaution.' Daniel said getting up and walking around the desk to place an arm over her shoulders. She wrapped her arms tightly around the archaeologist's waist as she buried her face in his chest. Daniel looked over her head at Teal'c.

'Daniel Jackson is correct.' Teal'c said comfortingly. 'Adrian Conrad kidnapped Major Carter because of her experience with Jolinar. There is no reason to believe that he would be interested in kidnapping any other person.'

'The security is just because we realised after Sam went missing that maybe we haven't been as careful as we should be about our security when we're on Earth.' Daniel said. 'General Hammond thinks it's best if we're just more cautious for a while. That's all.'

Cassie raised her head. 'What about Sam?' She asked anxiously. 'Is the…the guy still going to be after her?'

Teal'c and Daniel exchanged another look.

'He is not.' Teal'c said firmly. It was the truth. The Goa'uld was unlikely to ever complete Conrad's plan and allow his host to go free; he had no need of their team-mate.

Cassie nodded and shifted away from Daniel. 'Sorry. I guess I'm just a little more freaked out about it than I thought. It's just if they could kidnap Sam so easily…I mean, she knows how to fight.'

Teal'c inclined his head. 'I would be honoured to teach you to fight so you are more able to defend yourself.'

'Really? That would be great. You know Mom and Sam taught me some stuff when I started dating and then when I started seeing Dominic, Jack taught me this _really_ great move, you know, just in case. But Jaffa moves?' Cassie grinned. 'Cool.'

Daniel sighed. He hugged her and let go. 'You're spending way too much time with Jack.'

'He says I'm spending way too much time with you.' Cassie retorted cheekily.

'That's because you keep stealing all my chess moves.' Daniel pointed out as he retook his seat.

'I like how you play chess.' Cassie said. 'You always play your opponent.'

Teal'c looked at her quizzically. 'Is that not the point of the game, Cassandra?'

She laughed and shook her head. 'I didn't mean that; I meant Daniel plays differently depending on who he's playing. I like that.' She smiled. 'Know your enemy, right?'

Daniel looked at her surprised. 'That's a good observation.' A mischievous look entered his blue eyes. 'What about Teal'c?'

'He always plays to win.' Cassie said. 'He never looks for a draw.'

Teal'c inclined his head in agreement.

'And Sam?' Daniel questioned.

'She's the most scientific.' Cassie said authoratively. 'She usually picks a classic strategy from some Grand master but then if she starts to lose, she'll switch it up and try and something else.'

'What about Colonel O'Neill?' Teal'c asked.

Cassie gave a small frown. 'He's the most unpredictable. He'll just change strategies mid-game sometimes.'

'Sounds like Jack.' Daniel said dryly. He looked at her speculatively. 'You've made some good observations.'

'I was thinking of anthropology as my major when I get to college.' Cassie grinned at him.

'You'd be good at it.' Daniel remarked.

Teal'c gestured at the Jackals and Hounds game. 'It is your turn.'

Cassie picked up the coin. 'So, when will you start teaching me how to fight?'

'When we have discussed the matter with your mother.' Teal'c said firmly.

Daniel snorted and Teal'c shot him a look.

'Loser has to ask Mom?' Cassie suggested sweetly as she plucked one of Teal'c's pieces from the board in front of them.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow and folded his arms over his broad chest.

Cassie sighed huffily. 'OK, OK. I'll ask.'

Teal'c allowed a small smile to lift his lips. 'Indeed.'

o-O-o

Sam woke abruptly; her heart pounding. Her eyes snapped open to stare out at the familiar walls of the SGC and her CO reading reports in the bed beside her.

She was safe.

Her breathing evened out slowly and she kept her eyes pinned to Jack as though he was her own personal talisman. He was reading a stack of reports intently. Evidently someone had stopped by while she had been sleeping and given them to him. Occasionally he would stop and scribble something in a margin. As much as he might pretend that he hated paperwork and formality, the Colonel took his responsibilities very seriously. He just knew which tasks were important and which he really didn't need to worry about, Sam thought fondly.

He looked tired. His body was in pain from the shooting and it showed; the deep lines that bracketed his mouth and eyes, the occasional grimace when he shifted position that he couldn't quite hide. She felt a twinge of guilt and reminded herself that it wasn't her fault that he had gotten shot. They had both been looking for the Goa'uld; it was sheer luck that the Colonel had sent her to investigate the other floor and not sent her to the basement. All in all though, Sam considered, she would have preferred to have gotten shot rather than the Colonel.

Jack threw down one report and picked up another. He flipped it open and began reading apparently captured by whatever was inside it. His eyebrows drifted upwards as though surprised by the contents. Sam bit her lip; he looked adorable especially with his ruffled grey hair.

Adorable.

Oh that was so not a good word to use when talking about a commanding officer. Besides, he was dating someone else. Sam grimaced, her hand tightening on the blanket that covered her.

Amy. That was the name of the woman he was dating. A brunette. A very attractive forty-something brunette. Someone feminine and lovely and so not…so not Sam. Sam winced. OK. She was jealous. She could admit that. The Colonel might have moved on but Sam had not. She was just as in love with him as ever and it hurt seeing him with someone else.

Jack was happy, Sam determined firmly. She should be pleased for him rather than upset. He deserved a bit of happiness after everything he had been through. She should be happy that he was happy.

'Are you going to lie in bed all day, Carter,' Jack said suddenly without looking up from his report, 'or are you going to help me out with these?'

Sam repressed the sigh that sprang to her lips and shifted in the bed, moving into a sitting position. She gestured. 'Working, sir?'

'Selecting the next batch of trainees for the SGC.' Jack explained succinctly.

'Ah' Sam murmured. The next training exercise was scheduled to take place in a month's time.

Jack grimaced. 'Hammond wants us to choose the candidates.'

Sam pulled a face. 'Which means we'll be running the exercise.' It made sense; SG1 were likely going to be restricted to light duties for the next month because of the Colonel's arm and her own situation.

Jack glanced at her. 'What's the matter, Carter? Not looking forward to putting the recruits through their paces?'

She shot him a knowing look. He usually spent the whole week of training complaining.

He grinned at her. 'I'm planning for them to shoot Daniel.'

Sam couldn't help but smile at his gleeful tone. 'Ah.'

'And besides, Hammond said your Mini-Carter is assisting.'

She barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes at his description of the young Lieutenant she mentored. 'Hailey?' Sam checked instead. 'She's going to be the plant?' They always inserted a young newly approved SGC member alongside the batch of trainees. It gave them a good insight into how they were dealing with things outside of the presence of senior officers. Lieutenant Hailey had just got her SGC post a month before as the science officer on SG5. They had been off world since her appointment studying a strange astrological phenomenon on P9Y532.

'Hailey.' Jack confirmed. 'So, you should have fun cooking up the biological thingymagig with her.'

Sam nodded. She guessed she and Hailey could come up with something realistic. She was bored of the alien virus thing they'd used the last time. Maybe a twist on the virus thing, Sam mused; maybe nanites…

Jack cleared his throat at her. 'Here.' He gathered up the reports he had finished and handed them to her. 'Read through them and give me a shortlist.'

Sam looked at him in surprise. 'Sir?'

He shrugged, his attention on the report he was reading. 'You're going to have to go through this when you make team lead, Carter. You might as well get used to it now.'

His confidence that she would make a SG team leader one day and his evident faith in her abilities even after her experience sent a rush of pleasure through her. She reached for a report and began reading. She refused to look at his scribbles – and thanked him silently for his almost illegible handwriting – until she had come to her conclusions. The work kept her occupied and it was with some surprise that she realised that they had been working for almost an hour.

'You got your shortlist yet, Carter?' Jack asked as she closed the last report. He had settled back on the pillows looking smug.

She took her time getting resettled; placing the last report on the stack on the bedside table between them and organising her thoughts. 'Elliot.'

Jack nodded.

'Satterfield.' Sam said.

'And?' Jack said impatiently.

'I was torn between Grogan and…' she checked her notes, 'Barry.'

'Hmmm.' Jack folded his arms and regarded her speculatively. 'What made you choose Barry?'

'His shooting and physical test scores are amongst the highest; his personality testing indicates good leadership qualities…' Sam chewed her lip. 'He has good reports from his instructors at the academy.'

'But?' Jack prompted.

'He's very similar to Elliot.' Sam sighed. 'Both of them on the same team might lead to…'

'Arm wrestling?' Jack teased with a smile.

She smiled back at him. 'Grogan's more of a team player. I think he would be the better choice this time.'

'Likes getting shot by all accounts.' Jack noted. He tapped his hand thoughtfully against the bedclothes. 'So, Elliot, Satterfield and Grogan.'

She looked at him surprised. 'Sir?'

Jack tossed a sheet of notepaper at her. She read the same three names scrawled there with satisfaction. 'You did good.'

'Thank you, sir.' Sam allowed herself to revel in the glow of her CO's praise. She smoothed her blanket. It had been nice to feel useful. Just as it had been good the day he had rescued her when he had simply handed her a gun and allowed her to join the search for Conrad. His trust and faith warmed her; helped ease her own doubts by her capability. She had gotten captured, after all; failed to escape and if the Colonel hadn't turned up…

'You did all the right things, Carter.' The Colonel's voice broke into her thoughts and her head jerked to meet his understanding gaze automatically.

She flushed red. 'I wasn't…'

'Yes.' Jack corrected briskly. 'You were.' He held her eyes. 'You were thinking whether there was something you could have done.'

'Wasn't there?' The question popped out of her mouth before she could prevent it.

'You tell me.' Jack said quietly. He waved a hand at the reports. 'Treat it like a training exercise, Carter. If this was a simulation and the recruit performed as you did, how would you evaluate them?'

Sam opened her mouth to answer him and closed it again as her mind jumped on the puzzle he had handed her. How would she evaluate her performance? A line appeared between her brows as she reviewed her experience, trying to assess it from an objective viewpoint.

She had realised the attack and fought back although hampered by her bad shoulder; made noise which had evidently caught the attention of the homeless man Jack had questioned. There had been too many attackers; she had been quickly subdued. Perhaps she needed to brush up her hand to hand combat, Sam mused. Her mind moved to the actual period of capture. She hadn't been able to do much when she had been drugged but she had grabbed the scalpel in a moment of lucidity and she had freed herself. Her escape attempt had been good but…

'I should have shot Conrad.' Sam blinked; had she said that out loud?

'Why didn't you?' Jack asked bluntly.

'He was in a wheelchair and he was ill.' Sam replied, admitting to the compassion that had prevented her from pulling the trigger. She sighed. 'But if he had been a Goa'uld, I would have shot him.'

'Well,' Jack said dryly, 'you may still get your chance.'

Sam glanced at him sharply. 'Any news?'

Jack shook his head. 'He's still,' he waved a hand, 'out there.'

Sam couldn't prevent the shiver that ran down her spine.

Jack's eyes narrowed on her. 'We'll get him, Carter.'

She didn't answer him. A part of her knew it was unlikely that the Goa'uld would be interested in her for the reasons Conrad had grabbed her but she couldn't deny that she wasn't comfortable with the idea her abductor was running around at large. Not that she would need to worry about it for a few weeks; General Hammond had made it clear that SG1 were restricted to base for their own protection for the foreseeable future.

'So what else would you do differently?' Jack prompted, dragging her attention back to their conversation.

She took a breath and continued. 'I was thinking I should improve my hand to hand.'

Jack nodded slowly. 'We should all improve on hand to hand. I'll talk with Hammond about putting on some extra sessions.'

She hesitated for a long second and then forced herself to ask the question nagging at her. 'Do you think I could have done something else, sir?'

He shook his head. 'You should have shot Conrad,' he agreed, 'but I'd give you a pass on the hand to hand,' he commented, gesturing at her shoulder to indicate the reason, 'you did alert someone by calling out.'

Sam nodded. She pressed her lips together momentarily. 'I haven't really had a chance to thank you.'

He looked over at her as though surprised. 'For what?'

She smiled sadly. 'Everything you did to find me, sir.'

For a second, their eyes met and held.

Jack gave an embarrassed smile. 'Think nothing of it, Carter.'

She ducked her head. Of course he was probably worried that she would think it meant more than it did; that it wasn't just a concerned team leader looking out for a team-mate, she mused.

'The guys did most of the work. I just,' he waved wildly with his good arm, 'wandered around.' He paused. 'Getting shot.'

Her lips quirked into an unwilling smile as she glanced at him.

'Mostly.' Jack ended with a grimace as he darted a look at her.

Sam wet her lips; maybe if he wouldn't accept a thank you perhaps he'd accept an apology. 'I'm sorry, sir.'

Jack's eyebrows shot up. 'It was so not your fault that I got shot, Carter.'

'Not that, sir.' Sam hurried out. 'I meant, I'm sorry for…' her voice trailed away at the baffled look he wore, 'well, you getting shot but more because of you being stuck in here because of it than you actually, you know.' she stopped.

'Carter.' Jack said slowly as though he had doubts about her mental health; she couldn't blame him. After her stumbling words she had doubts herself.

'Sir, I just…' Sam looked away from him, 'I realise you probably had plans outside work with Amy and…'

'No plans.'

Her head jerked back to him, fast enough to cause her a sharp tug of pain that reminded her that her shoulder wasn't quite healed.

He met her questioning look with an arrested shrug as his arm clearly protested the movement. He seemed caught somewhere between surprise at his own admission and embarrassment.

'I thought…' Sam began gently.

Jack pushed his good hand through his hair as he stared anywhere but at her. 'Didn't work out.'

Sam dropped her own gaze back to her blanket as she smoothed the edge precisely. She was eaten up with curiosity. What had happened with him and Amy? Had they split up for good? Was it just an argument? It was none of her business, Sam told herself firmly, ignoring the rush of relief that swept through her as the knowledge sank in that he was single. Just because he had split up with the woman he had been seeing didn't mean that anything had changed. He had moved on from their inappropriate closeness; he had made that clear. The mission and their professional relationship came first, she reminded herself again. He saw Sam as a team-mate; a friend; that was all.

'Did you know Cassie was back dating that kid?'

The disgusted edge to Jack's question made Sam smile again. She shifted in the bed to face him. 'Dominic's a nice kid, sir.'

'He's a _boy_, Carter. A teenage boy.'

'I hadn't noticed.' She teased gently.

Jack shot her a look. 'I taught her this really great move.'

'I know she showed it to me, sir.' Sam said dryly. She frowned. 'Teal'c said Janet agreed to him teaching Cassie some defensive moves.' It bothered her that Cassie needed the training. The idea of anyone doing to Cassie what had been done to her; it chilled her.

'Good.'

Sam looked at Jack sharply. 'Not to use on Dominic.'

'Did I say anything, Carter?'

'You didn't have to, sir.'

Jack looked back at her with mock hurt. His expression sobered as he took in her worry. 'It's going to be OK, Carter.'

'Is it?' She wondered. She winced; she hadn't meant to say that out loud either.

'It will be.' Jack said.

Their eyes met again and Sam held onto the sincerity in his. He had been through this too, Sam mused. Maybe their experiences were different on many levels but she knew enough of his record to know he really did know what she was going through. She felt her breath catch in the back of her throat and she couldn't answer him.

'Of course, you're going to have to spend time with Mackenzie.' Jack commented as he shifted clearly getting comfortable in the bed in order to take a nap.

Sam followed his lead without thinking; shuffling under the covers until she was lying prone. 'Really?' She asked tiredly.

'When you're ready.' Jack responded.

His gaze warmed her and Sam nodded in agreement slowly. She'd known she would have to talk with Mackenzie eventually so it wasn't a surprise. If anything she was left wondering why no one had pressed her into seeing the base psychiatrist already.

'Get some sleep.' Jack ordered softly.

'Yes, sir.' Sam closed her eyes automatically in response and quelled the urge to thank him again simply for being there for her…

o-O-o

'This is a load of…'

'Colonel.' Hammond interrupted Jack's statement but it was too close to his own sentiment for him to reprimand the SG1 team leader further than an admonishing look. Jack had been released from the infirmary along with Sam the day before. His arm was in a blue sling that contrasted sharply with his green BDUs. There was no other outward sign of his injuries. He stood at ease in front of the desk with his usual self-assured air.

'With respect, sir,' Janet said tersely, 'I agree with the Colonel.' She crossed her arms tightly over her white medical coat.

Hammond sighed and sat down. He waved the doctor into a visitor chair. Jack indicated he'd stand and Hammond decided against making it an order. 'I agree with you both.' The General offered as an opener; he suppressed a smile as he registered how his candour had caught them both off guard.

'However, we're going to have to respond with more than a single word if we are to safeguard Major Carter.' He tapped the report on his desk. 'The order to establish whether there is any truth to Conrad's assumption that Major Carter held the medical answer to the safe extraction of a Goa'uld symbiote came direct from the President.'

'I don't understand, sir.' Janet said, shaking her head in disbelief. 'We've been through this already after Major Carter recovered from her experience with Jolinar. There's no medical basis for such an assumption.'

'Well, apparently the doctors,' Hammond grimaced, 'and I use that term loosely,' he muttered, 'who experimented on the Major while she was captured disagree.'

'Who cares what they think?' Jack said harshly, stabbing a finger toward the desk. 'They're a couple of…'

'Colonel.' Hammond interrupted him. 'The fact is that the statements given by them following their interrogation by the NID…'

Jack snorted.

'…raised the question.' Hammond leaned forward and clasped his hands together. 'Senator Kinsey has convinced the President and the Joint Chiefs that it is a valid question that needs answered.'

'To what end, sir?' Janet jumped in before the Colonel could make another retort. Her dark eyes flashed with anger. 'Say there is some medical basis for the assumption, are we suggesting that Major Carter be subjected to further experimentation against her will?'

'Doctor…' Hammond began.

'Doc has a point, General.' Jack added gruffly. His jaw tightened; the only visible sign of his anger if Hammond ignored the hardened furious brown eyes. 'Why raise the question at all?'

'I have asked that myself.' Hammond responded mildly.

'And?' prompted Janet.

Hammond's mouth pursed. Their answer had been unsatisfactorily vague; the exact words of the President had been 'to cross that bridge when we come to it.' He couldn't tell his people that though.

Jack seemed to surmise it anyway. He whirled and paced a couple of steps toward the internal window, stopping to stare out of it into the briefing room. His back was ramrod straight. Janet simply looked stricken.

'I believe the best course of action is to answer the question and disprove the assumption. A Doctor Gerrold will be arriving in two days with his team to hear our findings.' Hammond said simply. He cleared his throat and turned his attention to his CMO. 'I have requested all the medical data seized during the rescue of Major Carter be turned over to you for study and examination. I'm told it should arrive in the next hour. Use any personnel you require to assist you.'

Her lips twisted in disgust but she nodded. 'Yes, sir.'

He pressed his lips together. 'What's Major Carter's medical status?'

'She's making progress.' Janet confirmed. 'Physically her injuries have healed.'

'And psychologically?' Hammond said delicately.

'She's started regular sessions with Doctor Mackenzie during the last few days at her own request.' Janet said firmly. 'He's pleased that she's coming to terms with what happened to her on a personal level but he has diagnosed post-traumatic stress. She's still wary outside of the company of SG1 and admits the infirmary unnerves her. Both of us believe counselling will suffice but it will be a few more weeks before she's cleared for off-world travel.' Her lips tightened. 'This situation is only likely to aggravate any remaining issues with her sense of self-worth and heighten her anxiety levels.'

'Do you think it's best she isn't involved?' Hammond asked.

Janet considered the question and shook her head. 'No, sir. I believe excluding her would be worse.'

'Colonel?' Hammond prompted.

Jack didn't turn around. 'Doc's right. Carter can handle it.'

'Very well.' Hammond gestured at Janet. 'You should get started on the investigation. Dismissed, Doctor.'

Janet left. The door clicked loudly shut behind her. Hammond regarded Jack with concern. He had known the Colonel would react badly to the news. He was very protective of his team. Hammond ignored the internal whisper that the Colonel's reaction was also because it was the Major. He shook his head as though to dislodge the thought. There was no evidence. In fact, before the Major's disappearance the two had been nothing but incredibly professional and had been ever since the incident with the computer entity.

'Colonel…'

'How many times has Carter saved the world now, sir?' Jack replied without turning around. 'Four, five times? And for what? For this?'

''This' is just a question, Colonel.' Hammond said with a calm he didn't feel. 'We just need to give an answer.'

Jack turned around. 'That the answer they gave you?' His tone wasn't even borderline insubordinate.

Hammond's pale blue eyes flashed; a small signal to the younger man that he had gone too far.

The silence was filled with tension.

Hammond moved first, letting a sigh of frustration escape his lips. 'I am certain that Doctor Fraiser will find no evidence to substantiate the hypothesis.'

A flash of understanding lit Jack's eyes. 'We're going to tell them there's no basis.' He realised. _Even if there was. _The rest of the sentence remained unspoken.

Hammond remained silent. What he intended to do wasn't exactly following the spirit of his order; the letter perhaps but certainly not the spirit.

Jack shifted, his shoulders relaxing a little. 'You'll think that will get them to back off?'

'I don't honestly know.' Hammond said tiredly. 'A few months ago, I would never have thought I would be ordered to answer this kind of question or one like it.'

'Politics?' Jack asked delicately.

Hammond grimaced. 'The President believes that he needs Senator Kinsey's support on the Housing bill. He's inclined to allow the Senator some leeway in influencing matters here in the meantime.'

Jack grimaced. He took a breath and wet his lips. 'I'll inform Major Carter.'

'I'll inform her, Colonel.' Hammond said, rising to his feet. He could see the Colonel smother an automatic protest. 'Where is the Major?'

'She's in her lab.' Jack informed him briskly. 'With Hailey. They were working out the training scenario.'

Hammond nodded. 'Perhaps you could take care of informing the rest of your team as I discuss the situation with Major Carter. I thought Doctor Jackson and Teal'c could assist Doctor Fraiser.'

Jack inclined his head.

They travelled together in the elevator but exited at different levels. Hammond walked slowly along to Sam's lab; it was not a conversation he was looking forward to having. He stopped in the open doorway and took in the sight of the two women bent over the computer, their attention completely on their work, the murmur of their voices gentle background music. He rapped sharply on the door frame and entered.

Lieutenant Hailey straightened automatically at the sight of him; the Major following a heartbeat later.

'Sir.' They spoke in unison and Hammond had to tighten his lips on the smile that tugged at the corners to keep it from escaping.

'Lieutenant.' He nodded at her briskly. 'If you could excuse us, I need to speak with Major Carter.'

'Yes, sir.' Hailey nodded at him and turned to nod at Sam before swiftly exiting. She closed the door behind her.

'Sir.' Sam said formally.

'At ease, Major.' Hammond gestured at her as he walked forward and came to a halt by her computer. The screen was filled with small objects. He looked at them quizzically. 'Nanites?'

'Yes, sir.' Sam waved at the screen. 'Hailey and I thought it would make a change from the virus scenario, sir.'

'And will mean we don't have to disturb the infirmary during the training exercise.' Hammond realised. 'Good thinking, Major.'

'Thank you, sir.'

Hammond tapped lightly on the edge of the steel worktop. 'I have some news.'

'They've found Adrian Conrad?' Sam asked eagerly.

'No, I'm afraid not.' Hammond answered with regret. 'There's no sign of him unfortunately.' The Goa'uld had dropped off the face of the Earth it seemed. The NID claimed to have no leads and the President had been unwilling to turn the search over into the hands of the SGC.

Sam nodded. 'I'm sorry, sir. I interrupted.' She motioned for him to continue.

Hammond straightened. 'I've received an order following the NID's interrogation of the doctors apprehended at Saint Catherine's.' He paused, unsure how he told her.

'Sir?' Sam prompted. Her blue eyes were filled with anxiety.

'They want Doctor Fraiser to take a view on the doctors' findings from the tests that they performed on you,' Hammond continued gently, 'to ascertain whether their original hypothesis that you hold the medical key to successfully extracting a symbiote has any foundation. Obviously we don't expect to find any.'

He saw the truth of it register in her eyes. She paled. Her professional bravado wobbled for a long moment and he caught a glimpse of fear before she slammed her military mask back into place. 'I understand, sir.'

'Doctor Fraiser will be receiving the data seized from Saint Catherine. Unfortunately, I cannot allow you to take part in examining it.'

'No, sir.' Sam agreed.

'But a committee will be arriving in two days to assess Doctor Fraiser's findings and I'd like you and the rest of SG1 to attend.' Hammond noted. 'Colonel O'Neill is aware of the situation. He's informing the rest of your team.'

'Sir,' Sam said urgently, 'perhaps it would be a good idea to call the Tok'ra.' She held up a hand to forestall the question that sprang to his lips. 'Not my father, sir, but perhaps Anise or another scientist. They may be able to substantiate that the only reason why I survived was because of Jolinar's own conscious act to save me.'

Hammond nodded. 'I'll send a message.' He tapped the workbench.

'Sir.'

Her single word stopped him from leaving. He turned back to her quizzically.

'What if their hypothesis does have foundation, sir?' Sam asked crisply.

'It won't.' Hammond said authoratively.

'Sir…' Sam began to protest.

Hammond held up a hand. 'Sam.'

The use of her first name arrested her and she stared at him in surprise. He rarely acknowledged their personal relationship on base; his long friendship with her father; his ad hoc presence in her life before the Air Force and since. He reached over and took her hand in his.

'I'm only going to say this once.' Hammond said paternally, squeezing her hand. 'Their hypothesis is a load of bull and while I am in command of the SGC, there will never be another answer.' He held her fearful blue eyes with his own, trying to assure her as forcefully as he could that she was safe. He had promised her father he would take care of her and, while he had almost seen that promise broken with her abduction, it had renewed his intention to keep it.

Sam nodded jerkily.

Hammond patted her hand and released her. 'This is going to be fine, Sam. You have my word.'

'Thank you.' Sam said gratefully.

'I'll leave you to it.' Hammond said, motioning at the graphic on the computer monitor. He turned and walked away. He opened the door and stepped out into the corridor. He was unsurprised to find the rest of SG1 waiting. He nodded at the men who filed past him and into the room.

'General.' Jack said softly as he moved past.

'Colonel.' Hammond acknowledged. He reached out and pulled the door shut. It warmed Hammond's heart to see them so together. He'd gained the impression over the past few months, rightly or wrongly, that they were struggling. Nothing concrete; nothing in their work but their personal interactions had been edged with tension. He was pleased that whatever it was had been solidly put behind them in order to focus on supporting Sam through her experience.

He felt a wash of guilt flood him. He'd been to war; he'd been tortured; had seen others tortured. Hammond knew what one human being was capable of inflicting on another and he feared Sam, for all her off-world experience, for all that she had endured prior to her abduction, had only just been taught that horrible lesson. It was one he knew Jack O'Neill was only too familiar with. Hammond knew the risks when he sent his people out into the field but they were on Earth; she should have been safe – should be safe.

SG1 were back together and whatever plots were in place to try and rip them asunder had failed; would fail, he assured himself. Hammond's expression sobered. Because it was clear to him that there was a plot and he knew exactly who was behind it. The evidence against Kinsey in his desk drawer flitted through his mind.

No.

It wasn't the right time. But when it was…Hammond's eyes grew cold; Kinsey was going to learn not to mess with his people.

o-O-o

The briefing room was stifling as everyone gathered around the large conference table. The air seemed stuffy; hot. Or maybe it was just him, Jack thought brusquely. He tugged on the starch collar of his shirt. The military contingent in the briefing room wore service dress. The blue uniforms were pristine; sharply pressed with medals and buttons gleaming. Daniel and Teal'c wore suits for the occasion; new suits that apparently Janet and Cassie had helped pick out for them. It showed in the pale blue shirt that highlighted Daniel's eyes and the tailored cut of the charcoal grey Teal'c wore. Even Garshaw, who had turned up following Hammond's request that the Tok'ra assist, wore a stylish version of Tok'ra dress; long robes and a ceremonial medallion that denoted her status as a senior Tok'ra councillor. Not that any of their impressively smart outfits seemed to be intimidating their visitors as far as Jack could see as the introductions were made.

Doctor Gerrold was a Navy physician stationed at Bethesda; tall, wide and with a blond paleness that bordered on albino. He was part of the team of physicians that handled the care of the First Family. He had brought with him two specialists; Doctor Anchor, a forty-something redheaded woman, and Doctor Fielding, a young thirty-something man with dark hair and twinkling blue eyes. The final member of the committee was Major Charles Pettigrew; an aide to Simmons. The man reminded Jack of a slick cars salesman; oiled back black hair, hawkish nose and thin lips.

'Shall we sit?' Hammond said firmly from the head of the table.

There was a flurry of activity as chairs were pulled out and people sat down. Jack shot Carter an encouraging look. She was sandwiched between him and Daniel. Teal'c was on the other side of Jack; Janet sat next to Daniel with Garshaw taking the final place on their side of the table. Gerrold had chosen to sit opposite Janet; his two specialists flanked him, leaving Pettigrew opposite Jack.

'We're here to report and discuss the analysis of the medical findings in relation to Major Carter and whether there is any evidence to support the supposition that she holds the answer to safely extracting a Goa'uld.' Hammond began.

Pettigrew cleared his throat noisily. 'With respect, I do not understand why Major Carter,' his dark eyes drifted to her, 'the rest of SG1 and our Tok'ra ally are present at these proceedings.'

'I see no problem.' Gerrold cut in before anyone else could say anything. 'Let's proceed.'

He and Pettigrew stared at each other.

Jack exchanged a wry look with Daniel; division in the enemy's ranks could help them.

'Doctor Fraiser, why don't you begin?' Hammond asked.

'I think it would be useful to set Major Carter's unique physiology in context.' Janet said crisply. 'Over three years ago, the Major, then a Captain, was performing CPR on a man during a Goa'uld attack when a Tok'ra symbiote entered her body via the soft tissue at the back of her throat. The symbiote named Jolinar took possession of the Major's body against her will. From that point forward, Jolinar had control. When we realised what had happened, she was incarcerated.'

'Jolinar was hiding from a Goa'uld assassin.' Daniel picked up as Janet paused. 'The assassin was able to get through our security and attack Sam, uh, Major Carter. Both she and Jolinar were tortured but the Ashrak stopped before he killed them.'

'The attack left both of them in critical condition.' Janet continued. 'Major Carter was close to death; her organs close to systematic failure. The symbiote was also in distress.' She cleared her throat. 'All of our usual procedures were not working when the symbiote died; a moment later, Major Carter stabilised.' She stopped again momentarily. 'The symbiote had consciously given her life to save the Major's.'

'Over the course of the following weeks, Major Carter's physical condition was monitored closely. The symbiote body was being absorbed into the Major's. It left two distinct changes behind; a protein marker and a metallic element called naquadah.' She picked up a folder with distaste and passed it to Doctor Gerrold. 'It is these changes that Adrian Conrad's doctors noted in their illegal and unethical examination of the Major during her abduction and which led them to believe that their hypothesis, that Major Carter's physiology provided the answer to a safe extraction, was correct.'

All three doctors on the other side of the table squirmed. Jack was pleased that they were bothered; it indicated they had a conscience about their own medical practices.

Gerrold glanced briefly at the report before he set it aside. He looked over at Sam. 'Major, I believe all of us here sincerely regret what happened to you at the hands of Adrian Conrad and his…physicians.'

'Thank you, sir.' Sam replied stiffly.

'But?' prompted Jack, regarding Gerrold suspiciously.

'But while their methods are abhorrent they have raised an interesting question.' Gerrold replied mildly.

'So we're told.' Jack shot back.

Gerrold smiled and sat back in his chair. He folded his hands over his stomach. 'I have been involved peripherally with our efforts to find a safe extraction method. If the Major's physiological changes do hold any kind of clue to us discovering a way to free a host than surely we have a responsibility to follow through and investigate that thoroughly.'

'We already did.' Janet said sharply. 'Following her experience, we ran several tests with the Major's permission to understand the nature of her new physiology and what benefits if any could be gained.' Her dark eyes held Gerrold's as she forwarded him a second report. 'This was the medical report submitted a year post her experience with Jolinar.'

It was Fielding who leaned forward. 'As I understand it, the research focused primarily on the ability to handle Goa'uld weaponry and the healing properties of the symbiote.' His blue eyes flickered to Sam. 'I understand you heal at a greater rate since your experience as a host?'

'Yes.' Sam answered tightly.

'And that you have not suffered flu or cold symptoms since that time?' Fielding pressed.

Sam nodded.

'What's that got to do with this?' Jack asked bluntly, feeling her tense in the chair beside him.

'Nothing.' Fielding admitted.

'Which is the point.' Anchor added. She raised her hands from the table and smiled coldly at Jack. 'The focus has been on the obvious physiological benefits gained not necessarily on those less evident.' Her green eyes moved to Sam. 'Conrad's doctors believed that only an examination of how the protein marker has affected the brain tissue would reveal the answer and I am inclined to agree with them.'

Sam paled.

'There are neurological techniques that would allow us to take a sample of brain tissue with very little risk of brain damage.'

'I'm sorry,' Daniel piped up, raising his hand slightly, 'you're seriously not suggesting that the only way to determine the answer to this question is to subject Sam to unnecessary brain surgery?'

'The idea is preposterous.' Janet added fiercely. 'Any risk of damage is too great.'

'You don't get to decide that.' Anchor shot back.

'You have never considered the idea, Doctor Fraiser?' Gerrold said, breaking into the taut tension between the two women physicians.

'No I have not.' Janet said firmly.

'Why not?' Pettigrew asked slyly.

'Here's a thought,' Jack replied before Janet could, 'maybe,' he pointed with the pen he held, 'maybe her brain is worth not risking it at all.' He glared at the assembled doctors. 'Do you have any idea how many times her brain has saved your collective asses?'

The doctors looked away but Pettigrew smiled.

'She's not the only brain on the planet, Colonel.' Pettigrew said forcefully. 'There are other scientists.'

'But not with Sam's understanding or experience.' Daniel replied. 'Jack's right. Sam has saved this planet a number of times. Now maybe that doesn't mean anything to you but surely it should give you pause before we risk endangering her health?'

'It is only an idea at this point.' Gerrold said firmly.

'A very foolish idea.' Garshaw spoke up and drew their attention.

'Garshaw,' Hammond invited her to speak with a wave of a hand, 'please.'

Garshaw adjusted her pale cream robe. 'General Hammond invited us here under the terms of our treaty to share information that may be mutually beneficial to us. However as I explained to the General when I arrived, the idea that Major Carter's physiology could provide an answer to extraction is misinformed.'

Gerrold looked at her quizzically. 'I'm sorry but…'

'The Tok'ra Council already considered this when we first met Major Carter.' Garshaw continued. 'She is the first host to survive the death of a symbiote after all. However, it is clear to the Tok'ra what must have occurred and that the resulting changes to Major Carter have no use in finding an extraction method.'

'Perhaps you could enlighten us?' Pettigrew said snidely.

Garshaw's eyes flashed white briefly; the only sign of her impatience and temper at the question. 'The Ashrak's weapon is very specific. It's designed to cause the maximum amount of pain to symbiote and host by breaking down the walls between individual cells and causing an overload of electrical energy throughout the body.' She paused and took a breath.

'As you know symbiotes can heal their hosts. Our cells have regenerative abilities that we can share by releasing the cells into the host. The cells clone and repair any illness or injury. However, the cells must be released in a systematic way or the symbiote itself will die.'

'With respect, I'm not seeing what this has to do with whether the protein marker would be useful in safely extracting a host.' Pettigrew interrupted.

'From the medical data taken at the time of the attack and which the SGC shared with us we are able to ascertain that Jolinar would have survived; her host would not.' Garshaw continued ignoring the interruption. 'I believe Jolinar felt a large measure of guilt at taking Major Carter as a host against her will. Jolinar knew she acted against the main tenets of the Tok'ra beliefs. She knew the only way to save Major Carter was to release a flood of her own cells into Major Carter's body in the hopes that would save her host. However, she must have also known that the resulting weakening of her own body would have ultimately led to her death, which in normal circumstances would release a toxin into Major Carter's body killing her regardless.'

'But this did not happen.' Gerrold said.

'No.' Garshaw changed positions subtly. 'It is rare but when a symbiote is nearing the end it can consciously end its own life, preventing the toxins from being released; we believe following her release of cells, Jolinar performed this act. Most Tok'ra symbiotes rarely get this opportunity; most of us are killed in battle, and the Goa'uld do not share the same regard for their host.'

'I understand that one of the problems with extraction is that release of toxins.' Gerrold acknowledged. 'The symbiote can choose to die, taking the host along with it.'

'Which is why the Tok'ra extraction process uses a paralysing drug.' Garshaw said firmly. 'A needle is inserted into the brain administering the drug and the symbiote is then extracted from the host.'

'We've been unable to synthesise the paralysis drug ourselves,' Janet added tersely, 'which is one of the reasons why we have been unable to replicate the extraction process along with our lack of advanced surgical technology able to completely remove the Goa'uld from the brain stem without harming the host.'

'Jolinar's healing abilities,' Garshaw said firmly, 'saved Major Carter from the injuries she sustained at the hands of the Ashrak but it was only her conscious act of dying that allowed Major Carter to live. That and only that.'

'A Goa'uld would never countenance such an act.' Teal'c intoned solemnly.

Gerrold looked around his team silently.

'Perhaps we should take a break.' Hammond suggested. 'Let you and your team confer.'

'Thank you.' Gerrold stood up.

Hammond indicated for the SFs to show the four visitors to another room.

Jack breathed out slowly as they left. He turned back to Garshaw. 'Thank you.'

'Yes,' Hammond said gratefully, 'thank you.'

'I only hope the information was of some use.' Garshaw said.

'I think it was.' Daniel said, his blue eyes shining hopefully behind their panes of glass.

'I should return to the Tok'ra.' Garshaw gathered her robes around her.

'Of course.' Hammond gestured at Jack. 'Colonel.' The unspoken command for him to oversee Garshaw's departure was evident.

Jack waved at the stairwell. 'After you.'

Garshaw nodded. She turned to Sam. 'Perhaps you can join us, Major Carter? I have a message from your father.'

Sam looked toward Hammond who nodded his agreement. They made their way into the control room and onto the gate room.

Jack smiled at Garshaw. 'Thank you for coming.'

Garshaw's eyes turned to Sam and Jack got the message.

'I'll just, uh, be over here.' He jerked his thumb over his shoulder and moved a few steps.

Garshaw took Sam's hands in hers. 'Your father sends his love. He's currently undercover otherwise he would have been here too.'

'Thank you.' Sam smiled. 'Please send him my love back.'

'Samantha,' Garshaw said quietly, 'I understand your father told you of Martouf?'

Jack stared up at the gate as though fascinated. Sam had thought she had killed Martouf in the very spot he was standing. Martouf had been brainwashed and he had been about to blow himself up when Sam had ended his life. His body had been taken straight back to the Tok'ra homeworld. Sam had recently discovered that Martouf had not died; his symbiote Lantash had sustained him and the Tok'ra had put them both in stasis to buy time to find a way to counteract the brainwashing.

Sam nodded. 'Yes.'

'You have to understand that it was never our intention to deceive you.' Garshaw said urgently. 'It was to protect you from the news I bring you now.'

'The stasis is failing?' Sam realised.

Garshaw nodded. 'We will have to make a decision shortly. I wanted you to know.'

'Thank you.' Sam said a little stiltedly. 'I appreciate that.'

The wormhole blossomed out in front of them.

Garshaw squeezed Sam's hand and walked swiftly up the ramp disappearing into the blue puddle. It winked out.

'You OK?' Jack asked walking back over to Sam.

'I'm fine, sir.' Sam replied.

She clearly wasn't but Jack didn't press her as they walked back up to the briefing room. She had enough to deal with and in all honesty he really did not want to ask her about Martouf. He could see the pained look in her blue eyes.

Gerrold and his team were already back and they hurried to their chairs.

'I'll make this quick.' Gerrold said. His eyes slid to Pettigrew. 'Following our discussion, I do not see any justification for further investigating this idea. I will be making a report to the President and the Joint Chiefs to that effect.'

Sam's head dropped as she hid her relief and Jack slowly breathed out as the tension seeped out of his own body at the news.

'I have to say I'm pleased to hear that.' Hammond said. He stood up and the rest of the . 'The Airmen will escort you to the surface.'

Gerrold looked around the assembled SGC personnel. 'It has been an honour meeting you.' He left taking his team with him.

Hammond smiled at SG1 and Janet. 'Job well done, people.' He caught each of their eyes individually. 'Let's get back to work.'

'And out of these suits.' Jack complained.

Hammond waved them away and moved to his office. Jack fell into step beside Sam as the team headed out toward the elevator.

'Well, thank God that's over.' Janet said punching the call button.

'I can't believe they even considered the whole thing to begin with.' Daniel complained, wrapping his arms around his torso in a way that crumpled his jacket.

'Indeed.' Teal'c concurred.

They got into the small compartment.

Sam breathed in sharply. 'I have to admit I was worried brain surgery was in my immediate future there for a while.'

'Never would have happened.' Jack reassured her, sticking his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels. 'They would have had to go through me first.'

'Me too.' Daniel added.

'And I.' Teal'c stated firmly.

'And me.' Janet patted her arm.

'See?' Jack grinned. 'It was never going to happen.'

Sam smiled back at him.

'So, Sam.' Daniel cleared his throat. 'Hailey said you're planning nanites for the training scenario?'

'Can I just say thank you?' Janet said dryly. 'At least I won't have the infirmary disturbed.'

'Nanites.' Jack pulled a face. 'Really? You couldn't have chosen something else?'

'What's the matter, Jack?' Daniel teased. 'Embarrassed?'

Jack glared at him. 'Oh you are so getting shot.'

'I got shot last time!'

'Did not!'

'Yes, I did.'

'Did not.' Jack glanced at Sam who grinned back at him. She was safe again and she was healing; and the team had her back. That was all that mattered, Jack considered; that was all that mattered.

o-O-o

Harry Maybourne adjusted the scope of his binoculars and frowned at the tall dark-haired man in his sights.

Colonel Frank Simmons.

Harry had recruited him personally. Simmons was a sociopath; morally without conscience. Ideal for the type of black operations Maybourne had run for years. It didn't surprise him that the rogue elements of the NID had approached Simmons to run their ops when Maybourne had been compromised.

The safe house was one of many. He didn't know for certain but he believed Simmons had Conrad squirrelled away inside. Not that he would keep him there for long. Harry figured Simmons would move Conrad to another safe house as soon as the heat died down. It didn't matter; Harry knew them all.

He watched as Simmons reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a cell phone. He watched Simmons lips avidly.

'Carter investigation failed.' Harry repeated. Good, he thought. He liked Samantha Carter although not as much as Jack. He sniggered to himself. He had wondered if anything had ever happened between the two officers. He could see Jack bending the rules but the Major? No. She was a by-the-book officer but she had guts, Harry had to give her that, remembering how she had reamed him out once during a foothold situation. He was pleased she had survived Conrad's abduction.

Simmons disappeared into the safe house and Harry lowered the binoculars. His old protégé had set him up, Harry mused. He would bet on it. There was no doubt in his mind. Simmons had given his name to Zeditron; had known Harry wouldn't pass up the three million dollars to secure the symbiote for them. He had purposefully used Harry to throw suspicion away from the NID.

Harry didn't like being used especially not by a man he had groomed himself and especially not when the security of the world was at stake. He still had contacts; he knew Simmons had tried twice before to break SG1; Conrad was his third attempt. Harry believed there would be a fourth. Maybe Harry had considered SG1 a thorn in his side too but he knew what they had done to save the world and in the scheme of things he much preferred them guarding the gate than Simmons.

He picked up the half-eaten sandwich from the passenger seat of the jeep and stuffed it in his mouth taking a large bite. He threw the remains back on the seat and gunned the engine. Simmons would try again to break SG1 and when he did, Harry would help Jack get him.

Revenge was always a dish best served cold.


	12. One Hundred

**Author's Notes: **Team friendship. Mild S/J UST. Minor character death. This TAG is in recognition that Wormhole X-treme was the 100th SG1 episode.

**Wormhole X-treme Recap:** _A deep space probe picks up a ship heading towards Earth. The energy signature matches that of the pod used by Martin Lloyd and his friends. Marty is tracked down: he is working on a new sci-fi TV show called 'Wormhole X-treme' which bears a marked resemblance to the Stargate programme. Jack is sent undercover to be the new technical advisor so he can talk with Marty. Marty doesn't remember Jack and when Jack finds evidence that Marty is being drugged again, Hammond sends the rest of SG1 to provide back-up._

_Sam and Daniel find hidden cameras in Martin's home and confirm Tanner and his men must be watching Marty. Jack has the security at the studio send the list of vehicles to the team. Sam and Daniel recognise one of the vehicle drivers as one of Tanner's men. They head to his apartment but he disappears. He has made a phone call though to a warehouse across town. Jack tells them to take back up._

_Jack confronts Marty but he still doesn't remember anything. When Marty is called to an abandoned stage, they get surprised by Tanner's men and abducted. Meanwhile Sam and Daniel find the NID in the warehouse led by Agent Malcolm Barrett. _

_Marty is given an antidote by Tanner for his memory loss. Tanner disappears and they are rescued by Teal'c. Marty's memory is back and he realises that Tanner needs the mobile computing device to access the ship which they had programmed to come back to Earth just in case things didn't work out. Jack and Marty go in search of the device which is being used on the Wormhole X-treme set._

_The NID are given jurisdiction over the investigation and head to the set, leaving Daniel and Sam behind with an agent watching them. As Jack gets the device, Tanner shows up and begs Jack to give it to them; all they want is to leave and Jack has to know that they can't stay without the NID tracking them down. Jack receives a phone call from Sam informing him that the NID has made their position. The ship arrives outside and as they observe the approaching NID cars, Jack gives in to Tanner's pleas and hands him the remote device. Tanner and his men beam to the ship and leave, as the sci-fi TV show crew wrap things up._

**One Hundred**

There was a horrible sense of déjà vu flickering through Jack O'Neill as he took a seat by Martin Lloyd. Hadn't they been here and done this before, he mentally complained to himself. Teal'c sat down beside him and General Hammond at the top of the table completed the picture. The rest of SG1, Samantha Carter and Daniel Jackson, took their seats across the table and their presence helped dispel the lingering memory of the last time he had sat with Martin in the SGC's briefing room.

Marty looked nervous; he was faintly sweating, his fingers worrying at the buttons on his loud orange jacket. Combined with the print shirt he wore, Marty was a curious anomaly to the drab olive green BDUs SG1 sported. Jack was pleased to have gotten rid of the uniform he had been wearing for the past couple of days while he pretended to be the Military Technical Advisor to Marty's new sci-fi television programme. Jack barely stopped the eye roll. Who the hell in the Air Force had thought that was a good idea? Plausible deniability, his ass. He shifted position as General Hammond cleared his throat.

'Major?' The General waved at Sam to begin.

Jack threw her an encouraging look. The business with Marty had ended up being their first official mission back following Carter's ordeal at the hands of Adrian Conrad, and his own recovery from injuries sustained in her rescue. Ostensibly it was also the first time they'd had permission to leave the base since the incident. He ignored the twinge of pain in his arm and back that had been nagging at him ever since he'd been tied to a chair by Marty's friends.

'I've confirmed it, sir.' Sam said answering the General. 'There's no sign of the ship in orbit or anywhere in our solar system.'

'I told you.' Marty broke in impatiently. He had complained vociferously about being taken back to the SGC but Jack had thought it prudent given the NID had been less than impressed with losing Tanner and more importantly, the ship. Marty pushed his oversize glasses up his nose. 'General, I really need to get back to the set. If I'm not there then…' he stuttered to a halt as though he realised his absence wouldn't make a difference. 'I need to get back.' He mumbled desperately.

Hammond pressed his lips together. 'Mister Lloyd, I don't think I need to remind you that you and your friends are the reason why this briefing is taking place.'

Marty blushed and looked down at the gleaming table as he folded his hands over his stomach. 'But I've already told you everything.'

'Perhaps if you had told us about your ship the last time we were here,' Hammond retorted, 'this would be unnecessary.'

'I didn't remember the ship back then.' Marty protested.

'It is possible, General,' Daniel said kindly, 'that the drugs Tanner gave Marty before did suppress his memory of the ship.'

'Thank you!' Marty exclaimed, gesturing at Daniel and looking hopefully at Hammond.

The General regarded him sternly. 'Is there anything else that may have slipped your mind?'

Marty shook his head.

'Very well.' Hammond waved an Airman forward. 'You're free to leave and resume your position on Wormhole X-treme. The Airman will escort you to the transport we've organised.'

'Thank you.' Marty scrambled to his feet as Hammond stood up along with the rest of SG1.

'Thank you for your cooperation.' Hammond said formally.

Marty turned to Jack. 'Colonel O'Neill.'

'Marty.' Jack braced himself for the hug he was sure was coming and regarded Marty's outstretched hand with suspicion. He shook it solemnly. He exchanged a wry look with Teal'c as Marty turned to him next.

'Murray.'

'Martin Lloyd.' Teal'c shook hands and bowed his head slightly.

Marty waved across the table at Sam and Daniel before he hurried out of the room.

There was a collective sigh of relief as they all retook their seats.

Hammond sighed and clasped his hands together atop the table. 'I've received a formal memo of complaint from the NID.' His pale blue eyes drifted to Sam and Daniel. 'Namely, regarding the subduing of the agent they left watching you.'

'About that, sir,' Sam began awkwardly.

Hammond waved away her explanation. 'I've responded with a formal complaint of my own at the way the NID effectively unlawfully confined two of my people without due cause.'

Daniel nodded in thanks.

Jack felt a rush of pleasure at the General's clear and unequivocal support for his team and he could see they were equally appreciative.

'I've also expressed my concern at the decision on jurisdiction.' Hammond shifted imperceptibly in his chair. 'Fortunately, though, it does mean that subsequent events will be laid at the door of the NID and not this command.'

They all exchanged looks of amusement.

'So what is the cover story for an alien ship suddenly appearing in Earth's atmosphere?' Jack asked dryly.

'I believe they're claiming it was some kind of special effect from a movie filming in the next lot.' Sam replied with a shrug.

'Weirdly, they all seem to believe it.' Daniel commented. His blue eyes shone with a bemused disbelief.

Teal'c frowned. 'It was an impressive vessel. It is clear Martin Lloyd's people possessed formidable technology.'

'Which is why they were targeted by the Goa'uld.' Daniel added, pointing at the Jaffa with a pencil.

Teal'c inclined his head in silent agreement.

'It would have been good to have secured the alien ship.' Hammond said gruffly. 'On that point, I happen to agree with the NID.' His gaze landed on Jack. 'I believe you told Agent Barrett that Tanner snatched the remote device from your hand in a moment of distraction when the ship appeared?'

'Yes, sir.' Jack confirmed. 'That is what I told Agent Barrett.' He pursed his lips and stared down at the table avoiding Hammond's eyes. What he hadn't told Barrett was that he had been offering the device to Tanner at the time. His eyes glanced toward Carter again; she was looking back at him quizzically as though she knew there was more to it. He couldn't admit it though without putting Hammond in a difficult position and, in honesty, he'd been questioning why he'd done it ever since Tanner and his men had disappeared in a sparkle of yellow glowing lights.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose and glanced away from Carter back to the table top. If he was honest, he feared he may have let what had happened with Carter affect his decision making. There was enough circumstantial evidence to suggest that their own government had been involved with Carter's abduction. Jack was certain of it. Colonel Simmons, their usual NID liaison, in league with Senator Kinsey, had either set it up or had been aware of Conrad's intentions towards Carter. Anger surged through Jack again at the thought. Carter deserved better; his whole team deserved better.

Maybe that was why Tanner's observation that if he and his cohorts remained on Earth the NID would never leave them alone had touched a nerve with Jack. That, Jack mused, or he was spending way too much time with Daniel. The younger man's view that it was more important to build relationships with alien cultures rather than simply secure their technology was one that Jack had come to agree with wholeheartedly even if his military side occasionally winced at passing up a big honking space gun in favour of aliens owing them a favour.

'Colonel…' Hammond began.

Jack winced. He couldn't tell Hammond what he'd done; he'd be putting him in an untenable position.

'Sir.' Walter Harriman's voice arrested the attention of the entire table. The Sergeant swiftly moved to whisper something in Hammond's ear. The General's eyes widened.

'I need to take a call.' Hammond announced. 'Remain seated, people.' He shoved his chair back and strode into his adjoining office, closing the door firmly. They could see him reaching for the red phone.

SG1 exchanged a worried look as Walter escaped before any of them could question him.

'Did Tanner really snatch the device out of your hand?' Daniel asked bluntly, leaning over the table towards Jack.

'He did.' Jack said firmly, daring Daniel to argue the point.

'I think what Daniel is trying to say, sir, is that we both find it unlikely that Tanner would be able to do that.' Sam pointed out.

'Unlikely,' Jack agreed, 'but not impossible.' He shifted uncomfortably as their gaze moved to Teal'c. The Jaffa stared stoically back at them saying nothing.

'I knew it.' Daniel sighed, looking back at Jack. 'You gave them the device, didn't you?'

'He didn't say anything.' Jack shot back.

'He has that look.' Daniel retorted.

'What look?' Jack demanded, staring at Teal'c himself, trying to determine what Daniel had seen in Teal'c's impassive expression.

'The 'O'Neill did something but I cannot speak of it' look.' Daniel jotted down a note in the report on the table and darted a look at the Jaffa who looked back at him with a raised eyebrow.

'He does not have a look.' Jack denied firmly.

Daniel pointed at him. 'You did the right thing, Jack.'

'I didn't do anything.' Jack said defensively.

'Jack, it's….'

Hammond's door opened and brought the conversation to an abrupt halt. Jack got to his feet following Carter's example as the General resumed his place at the head of the table although he didn't sit. Hammond stood, fingertips touching the polished surface, the artificial light glancing off his bald head.

'That was Catherine Langford.' Hammond said crisply. His sober expression had Jack frowning. The former civilian head of the Stargate programme was fondly remembered by them all. He knew Daniel kept in touch with her and he wasn't surprised when Daniel spoke.

'Is she alright?' Daniel asked, his face furrowed with concern.

'She called to inform us that Ernest Littlefield passed away this morning.' Hammond said solemnly.

'Oh God.' Daniel muttered under his breath.

Jack looked down at the table. Ernest had been them back in the 1940s; he had travelled through the Stargate hoping to explore. Unfortunately the planet he had gated to had no working DHD and Ernest had been stranded until Daniel had discovered evidence of Ernest's trip buried in the film documentation from the period.

Hammond raised one hand from the table and gestured at them. 'You're to leave immediately for Washington to oversee the escort of Doctor Littlefield's body back to the SGC.' He glanced over his shoulder at the dormant Stargate. 'We're granting Doctor Langford's request that his body be sent back through the Stargate and to hold a small memorial service here.'

Jack followed Hammond's gaze to the metal ring. Ernest was elderly – he'd been elderly when they had rescued him from the planet they had since designated Heliopolis – so it wasn't a surprise but it was still sad news. 'Yes, sir.'

'There'll be a transport waiting for you at Petersen once you get there.' Hammond confirmed as he turned back to them. 'Dismissed.'

Jack nodded. There was nothing else to say. They had brought Ernest Littlefield home once before; they would do it one final time.

o-O-o

Daniel suppressed the urge to fidget with his tie and focused his attention outside of the car at the passing Washington scenery – or rather at the scenery they were supposed to be passing.

Jack evidently had reached the end of his patience because he sighed heavily at Major Paul Davis who had joined them once they had reached Andrews. 'What's taking so long?'

'Traffic, sir.' Davis apologised. He glanced at his watch and grimaced.

Sam shifted beside Daniel capturing Jack's attention.

'You OK, Carter?' Jack asked softly.

Daniel had to admire the military man's control; there was enough concern that his brisk tone was warmed and wouldn't make Sam feel it was a reprimand; enough brisk tone that his concern didn't draw Davis's attention unduly.

'I'm fine, sir.' Sam attempted a reassuring smile which fell away. Her blue eyes were filled with the same sadness that ate away at Daniel. He impulsively clasped her hand in his and Sam squeezed his in return.

Daniel caught Jack's eyes looking at their joined hands, a strange mixture of jealousy and acceptance swirling in the chocolate depths, before Jack looked away. Daniel sighed and glared out of the window again. He'd given up trying to understand the relationship between Sam and Jack. They loved each other but evidently had determined to put the mission first as their oaths as military officers demanded. They'd tried to move on since Jack had been placed in the position of having to kill her to save the base but as far as Daniel had observed neither of them had achieved anything except making themselves miserable.

No.

He didn't understand it but he respected it, Daniel mused. Their decision kept SG1 together, after all and Daniel appreciated that. The team was the only family he had as weird and as dysfunctional as it was and he was too aware of its potential transience. SG1 had already been disbanded twice before because of politics and Daniel couldn't help fear that it would again.

And then there was Catherine and Ernest.

They'd remained in close contact with Daniel ever since SG1 had rescued Ernest. He corresponded with them regularly – not as regularly recently, Daniel thought with a guilty sigh. He wanted to claim he'd been busy – and he had – but he knew his lack of contact had more to do with his own growing dissatisfaction with his life; Daniel was struggling to understand his purpose, his continuing reason for going through the Stargate.

Ernest had gone through the Stargate to explore; for no other reason. It had been enough for Daniel too that first trip through to Abydos. He had never had a place on Earth; his grandfather hadn't wanted him after the death of his parents and he'd had a succession of foster homes before he had settled; academia had turned its back long before Catherine's offer to join the programme. But he'd gone through the Stargate and found a place on Abydos only for it to shatter into a million pieces a year later.

His eyes strayed back to Jack. If that first trip to Abydos had been about exploration for him, Jack had gone through to die. He had been broken, following the death of his son. Abydos had healed him. Daniel looked back through the window again. Maybe that was why he was still going through the Stargate despite Sha're's death; maybe he was hoping for the same kind of healing Jack had found or maybe he was hoping to find a place again; somewhere he would belong without question. He feared he remained in the Stargate programme because there was nowhere else for him to go.

The car finally pulled up in front of Catherine's townhouse and Daniel followed Jack out of the vehicle. The front door opened and Catherine's maid appeared. She greeted them taking their coats and ushered them into the front parlour where she served them drinks of tea and coffee. Sam and Jack took a sofa by the fire; Teal'c settled his large frame into one antique chair while Davis sat nervously in another. Daniel headed for the mantelpiece and the mass of framed photos. Many of them were of Catherine's various nieces and nephews; her godchildren. Some of the more recent were of her and Ernest; of them picnicking in Central Park in New York, in front of the pyramids in Egypt…he swallowed the lump in his throat.

A noise by the door had them turning in unison.

'Catherine.' Jack crossed to her first, wrapping the small, white-haired woman in a bear hug. 'I'm so sorry.'

Catherine patted his back. 'Jack. It's good to see you.' She seemed remarkably composed, Daniel thought. There were shadows under her eyes though and she was pale; that was highlighted by the fact that she had dressed all in black; wide pants topped with a large black sweater. The Eye of Ra pendant Daniel had once worn to Abydos glinted on the black background. A stylish black velvet scarf hung around her neck loosely.

Jack let her go, relinquishing her to Sam. The two women hugged briefly before Teal'c cleared his throat.

'My condolences in your time of grief.' Teal'c said formally, bowing deeply.

Catherine nodded at him in silent acknowledgement, Sam's arm still around her shoulders, before her dark gaze skipped to Major Davis.

'Ma'am, it's an honour.' Davis said after Jack introduced him.

Catherine's gaze finally fell on Daniel. He stepped forward at the same time as Sam let go of Catherine. She moved into his waiting embrace, burying her head in his chest. Tears sprang into his eyes as Catherine trembled and her hands clutched at him.

'Daniel.' It was a sob.

'I know.' He murmured, holding her tightly. He could feel her tears soaking into his crisp shirt.

Jack caught his eye and indicated with a jerk of his head that he and the others would leave. He quickly shepherded them out quietly until Daniel and Catherine were alone. Daniel had no idea where Jack would take them but he knew Catherine would appreciate the thoughtfulness. He held her as she wept; his own tears stinging the back of his eyes as he fought to keep from crying.

He lost track of time as they remained standing in the centre of the grand room with its polished antiques and faded soft furnishings. Eventually Catherine quieted and he guided her to the sofa. He pushed his spare handkerchief into her hands before he poured her a cup of tea adding a generous spoonful of sugar. He handed it to her.

'I'm sorry.' Catherine apologised taking a small sip before setting the cup aside.

Daniel shook his head. He took hold of her hand. 'They didn't tell us much. What happened?'

'Old age.' Catherine attempted a smile to soften the words. 'His health was never…and then, he caught a cold a few weeks back. He just never recovered. He passed peacefully.'

'Why didn't you call me?' Daniel asked plaintively. 'I would have come.'

Catherine patted his hand. 'I know but you're busy and I,' she looked down briefly, 'I hoped it wasn't…that he would.' She stopped, blinking back fresh tears. 'I feel like such a silly old woman.'

'It's never silly to hope.' Daniel wrapped her hands in his.

'I've grieved for him before.' Catherine said quietly, her dark eyes taking on a distant look. 'When I was young and I thought he was lost to me. Back then I grieved for a future that I had lost too. But you found him and brought him home to me.' She gave a tremulous smile. 'And now, I have so many memories; so many happy memories.' Daniel held her hand tightly as she began to talk about Ernest and their life together and he let her talk, knowing it was what she needed.

It was a while before Catherine left to get some rest and he went in search of the others. He found them in the kitchen, crowded around a small pine table.

'How is she?' Sam said, rising to greet Daniel with a hug. She pushed him into a vacant chair.

Daniel swallowed the snappish retort that jumped to his lips and removed his glasses to rub at his eyes. He replaced them before he spoke. 'She's resting.'

'I'm expecting the transport for the, uh,' Davis caught himself as Daniel and Jack both glared at him, 'Doctor Littlefield in an hour.'

'Why don't you push them back another hour; same with the flight.' Jack delivered the request casually but Davis nodded sharply acknowledging the order it truly was.

'If you'll excuse me, I'll step out to make the call.' Davis said. He left and SG1 were alone.

Sam reached over and took Daniel's hand.

'I should have been here.' Daniel complained. 'She said he'd been ill for a while and she didn't want to disturb me.' He looked up at the ceiling and blinked back tears.

'My grandmother was the same when my grandfather died.' Jack noted, staring into the bottom of the cup he held. 'He'd been ill for a month before he died and she told us.'

The family reference was unusual enough to gain Daniel's attention.

Jack shrugged as he met Daniel's questioning eyes. 'I think it's a generational thing.'

'She said she just hoped he would recover and then,' Daniel sighed, 'and then it was too late.'

'Does she need any help to pack?' Sam asked, glancing up at the ceiling.

'Maybe.' Daniel shrugged. 'I don't know.'

'Why don't you give her an hour and then go see?' Jack suggested to Sam quietly.

Sam nodded.

'What about her family?' Jack questioned. 'Anybody coming with?'

'Just us.' Daniel replied. He lifted his free hand from the table. 'Catherine's family don't have clearance. She's told them Ernest requested to go home and she's honouring his last wish.'

Jack's hand wave encompassed the table. 'Well, she'll have us.'

Daniel nodded tiredly. Catherine would have SG1 and maybe that would be enough…for both of them.

o-O-o

'Ernest Littlefield was a hero.' Daniel's voice rang out strongly in the solemn gate room.

Sam smiled at him encouragingly as his blue eyes landed briefly on hers. She followed the path of his gaze as it moved from her to the woman sat beside her and whose hand she held tightly. Catherine looked sharply elegant in a simple black dress with a warm black velvet wrap. She was a commanding presence despite her diminutive height. As Sam glanced away from Catherine her eyes met the Colonel's.

Jack sat on the opposite side of Catherine with Teal'c beside him and an empty chair that Daniel had occupied until he had risen to speak. Jack was dressed in his service blues as she was, and she could tell he was already itching to tug at his collar. He raised an eyebrow in silent query; was she OK? Sam nodded almost imperceptibly before averting her gaze.

General Hammond shifted beside Sam on her other side. The SGC commander had ordered the row of chairs as a courtesy to Catherine but Sam knew he would prefer to be standing alongside the rest of the gathering behind them, a mix of military and scientists.

Sam dragged her attention back to Daniel. The archaeologist stood behind a podium at the top of the metal ramp. Ernest Littlefield's coffin lay on special stand in the middle of the ramp. It was draped in the American flag as befitting Daniel's opening words.

'He was an explorer,' Daniel continued, 'and he was a scientist. It was all these qualities that drove his desire to learn about the Stargate, to understand its purpose and how it worked. His thirst for knowledge and for understanding, his bravery and courage allowed him to take the ultimate leap through the event horizon.'

Daniel paused. 'Ernest Littlefield allowed those of us who came after to literally follow in his footsteps.'

Sam saw his fingers clench on the side of the podium as Daniel took a breath.

'Ernest paid a heavy price for the leap of faith he took. The planet that he travelled to had no working DHD and he remained stranded for decades. He filled his time studying the planet around him and the knowledge device within the ruins he inhabited.'

His eyes darted to Catherine. 'But it wasn't his academic curiosity that sustained Ernest but rather, his love for the woman he had left behind. It was Catherine he conjured into being with the strength of his mind alone so he could survive his long solitude.' He dropped his gaze back to his notes. 'I'd like to read an extract from Ernest's journal.'

He cleared his voice. 'I walked with Catherine today. We spoke of growing old together. Catherine talked of trips to the places we have loved; Paris and Egypt, New York and Rome. I told her that no matter where we are, I will love her and that the only important thing is that we are together.'

Sam couldn't help her gaze darting to the Colonel's stern profile. His eyes were fixed on Daniel. She wondered what Jack was thinking as she jerked her own gaze away again. She knew there had been when they had both dreamed of growing old together, when they had loved each other, but their professional relationship had to come first. Sam had acknowledged to herself that she still loved him but she knew Jack had moved on. He had dated a woman called Amy and although Sam knew his relationship had ended, she figured Jack would find someone else. He was an attractive man after all. She ignored the twinge of jealousy in her belly. Career, Sam reminded herself. She was focusing on her career.

'Five years ago,' Daniel intoned gravely, 'Ernest was rescued and his wish was granted. He spent the rest of his time with his beloved Catherine. They took the trips Ernest imagined and more importantly, no matter where they were, he loved her and they were together. In his eyes, his love for her was his greatest achievement.'

He nodded to mark the end of his speech and the SGC chaplain stepped forward to lead the gathering in prayer as Daniel returned to his seat. The chaplain finished and General Hammond rose swiftly giving the silent command for the honour guard to move in.

Sam helped Catherine rise as they watched the flag being folded. It was passed with solemnity to General Hammond who offered it to Catherine. She took it, tears brimming in her brown eyes. Sam placed an arm around her comfortingly.

Sergeant Siler's team shifted the podium and the Stargate began to turn, blossoming out into the white and blue kawoosh before settling back into its usual blue puddle. They had tried to reconnect to Heliopolis but just as after the rescue mission, the gate would not lock so they had chosen an uninhabitable planet instead where a lava flow was due to one day destroy the Stargate. Ernest's coffin would be incinerated along with the rest of the planet.

The men of SG1 stood up and took their positions on one side of the coffin while the honour guard took up the other. They lifted the coffin from the stand and fed it through the waiting wormhole. As the end of the coffin was submerged, the wormhole disappeared.

Hammond turned back to the assembled crowd. 'We've organised a small reception in the briefing room. Please make your way there.'

Sam relinquished Catherine to the General and fell into step beside the Colonel. She sipped the drink she took from the proffered tray and made small talk with the scientists for a while before she wandered over to the window where Daniel was staring out at the Stargate, his hands buried in the depths of his pockets.

'Hey.' Sam nudged him gently. 'Nice speech.'

Daniel gave a small smile. 'Thanks.' He nudged her back. 'I hear you're heading off base tonight.'

She nodded. 'General Hammond's lifted the restrictions and as I'm cleared for duty now, there's no reason for me to remain on base so…' she shrugged, trying to hide the ripple of unease that ran down her spine. Apart from the mission with Martin Lloyd and the trip to Washington she hadn't left the base since her abduction. She certainly hadn't stayed in her own house. And she had never been alone.

She would be fine, Sam assured herself. The house had been given additional security. She'd been training with Teal'c on some new hand to hand moves; she was a grown woman. She could stay a night in her house on her own. The team had already agreed a morning security check regime. She would be fine.

Sam wondered when she was going to believe it.

'You're heading back to Washington with Catherine.' Sam stated, changing the subject.

Daniel nodded.

'You want some company?' Sam asked softly.

He shook his head. 'Jack's already offered but,' he looked over at where Catherine was talking with Hammond, 'Catherine asked me specifically so…'

Sam patted his arm. 'No need to explain.'

'Actually,' Daniel said glancing at the clock, 'we should be going.'

There was a rush of activity as Catherine said goodbye and left. All too soon Sam found herself standing outside her house. She looked nervously up the road. It was empty. The only vehicles were those of her neighbours. There was nothing sinister. She juggled the grocery bag, unlocked the door and entered cautiously.

The beeping sound reminded her of her new alarm and quickly closing her door, Sam hurried over to enter the right code. There was a musty smell. The house hadn't been occupied in days. She pushed the bag and her purse on a side table and went to check out all the rooms, reassuring herself they were empty; that the windows and outer doors were locked.

The next hour disappeared in a blitz of cleaning and laundry – anything to keep her mind busy and her hands occupied. She put a casserole in the oven and headed for a bubble bath with a glass of wine.

She had just settled into the warm water when the doorbell rang stridently. Sam sat up, water cascading down her naked body and sloshing over the edges of the tub. Her heart pounded. She wasn't expecting company.

It rang again.

Sam pushed herself to her feet and grabbed a towel wrapping it securely around her body as she padded to the front door. She reached into the purse she had discarded for her handgun. She peeked out of the curtain at the front door as the doorbell sounded again.

Her eyes widened at the sight of a worried looking Colonel and Teal'c. She hurriedly shoved the gun back in her purse and unlocked the door, using one hand to hold her towel in place.

Teal'c's eyebrows shot up and disappeared into his trilby as he took in her undress.

Jack's eyes travelled appreciatively over her and she felt her body warm under his regard. She knew the moment he realised he was staring as his expression became guarded and his gaze snapped to hers and pointedly remained North of her chin.

'Carter.'

'Colonel.' Sam greeted him, trying to keep the amusement out of her voice. 'Teal'c.'

Jack waved a hand in her general direction. 'We were on our way to grab something to eat and thought you might want to join us.'

Or rather, Sam thought, torn between irritation and gratitude, they were checking up on her.

'Actually,' she looked behind her, 'I've, uh…'

'No need to explain, Carter.' Jack said hurriedly. His gaze drifted over her shoulder. 'I mean, if you already have plans…' his eyes moved back to hers and she realised he thought there was someone in the house; a date…

'No.' Sam felt her cheeks burn furiously at her quick denial. She clutched the towel a little desperately. 'No plans.' She said in a calmer tone. 'Except a bath and a casserole I've just put in the oven.'

'Ah.' Jack rocked back. 'Well.' He looked to Teal'c as though seeking help.

'We will leave you.' Teal'c said firmly. He shot Jack a look which clearly admonished the military man.

Sam saw a flicker of disappointment on the Colonel's face before he hid it under his usual bravado.

'We'll…' he waved a hand at his truck.

'You're both welcome to stay.' Sam offered quickly. It wasn't that she was scared, Sam thought defiantly, just that it was nice to have company. 'There's plenty food.'

Jack and Teal'c exchanged a look.

Teal'c inclined his head. 'We would be honoured.'

Sam stepped back and allowed them to follow her inside.

'Why don't you go finish your bath?' Jack offered as he closed the door and threw the lock. 'We can entertain ourselves.'

She flashed him a grateful look. 'There's beer in the fridge along with some ginger ale for Teal'c.' She said, already moving towards the bathroom. She unplugged the bath and showered instead. She dressed quickly and headed back to the kitchen-den area at the back of her home with the glass of wine.

Teal'c sat in the chair; a large bowl of popcorn on his lap. Jack sat in a similar position on the sofa. She sat down beside him and glanced at the TV.

'What are we watching?' She asked dryly as the brightly coloured action shifted from scene to scene.

'It is the first episode of Wormhole X-treme.' Teal'c informed her seriously.

Her eyebrows shot up. 'It's on air already?'

'Marty sent an advanced copy to the SGC as a thank you.' Jack explained. 'Teal'c's been dying to watch it.'

'Oh.' Sam settled back and took a large gulp of her drink. She noticed Jack doing the same.

In the end, Sam found herself secretly enjoying the antics of the mock SG1 team. She snorted at some of the technobabble, laughed at Jack's horrified expression when the Colonel in the show fumbled with his weapon and when Teal'c declared the best character the silent robot. They tore the show to shreds over dinner.

It seemed like no time had passed at all before Jack was shrugging into his leather jacket and ushering Teal'c to the front door.

Sam felt another quiver of nervousness as she saw them to the door. Jack let her hug Teal'c first and the Jaffa obligingly left them alone, disappearing down the pathway to Jack's truck.

'You going to be OK?' Jack asked, adjusting his collar.

'I'll be fine, sir.' Sam assured him. Her eyes softened. 'Thanks for coming over.'

Jack nodded. 'If you need anything…'

'I'll call.' She promised.

'OK.' Jack held her gaze. 'I'll call you first thing for the security check.' He gave a small smile. 'Get some rest.'

She smiled weakly back and waved as he walked away. She closed the door and locked it securely. Suddenly the house seemed too silent again. She shook the feeling away and went to clear up.

Her nightly routine settled her and she climbed under the covers of her bed, surprised to feel tired. She closed her eyes.

A creak startled her and she fumbled for the light. She climbed out of bed and checked the house. Nothing. It must have been the wind, Sam determined, feeling a little foolish. She retrieved her gun and went back to bed. She placed the gun on her bedside table before she snuggled back under the covers.

The lights were still on, she realised drowsily as her eyes closed. It wouldn't hurt just this once, Sam decided; it wouldn't hurt just this once to sleep with the lights on and keep the monsters away.

o-O-o

'Daniel.' Catherine's voice surprised the archaeologist into looking up from the book he was reading.

'I'm sorry.' Daniel said apologetically, blinking in the dim light of the single reading lamp as Catherine sat down opposite him in a matching comfy chair. 'I didn't mean to disturb you.'

'I couldn't sleep.' Catherine waved his apology away. She pointed at the book. 'The Odyssey.'

He lifted the copy reverently. 'I don't get the chance to read it in Greek very often.'

Catherine smiled sadly. 'It was one of Ernest's favourites.'

'I can see why.' Daniel mused out loud and caught Catherine's surprised face. 'Oh, because of the similarities between Homer's Odysseus and Ernest. Both gone for years and both trying to get home to their loved one.'

Catherine tugged the woollen wrap more firmly around her cotton night dress. 'I fear Ernest didn't have so many adventures.'

It was Daniel's turn to look at her with questioning surprise.

'Ernest admitted to me once that at first he stayed by the Stargate hoping help would come.' Catherine explained. 'But then as the days and months went by he realised that he was on his own. He'd discovered the device and was fascinated with it so he stayed day after day, putting off going in search of help on the planet. He convinced himself that as the ruins had been abandoned long ago, the planet must be uninhabited.'

'It was in his journal.' Daniel admitted. 'He explored just far enough to find food and water.'

Catherine nodded. 'Yet he could have walked away; explored the planet. Perhaps even found a civilisation.'

Daniel stayed silent, unsure what to say.

'I would have wished that for him.' Catherine looked toward the picture beside her, picking it up and tracing over Ernest's features fondly. 'To have moved on with his life.'

'It's not that easy.' Daniel remarked, thinking of his own life.

'No.' Catherine nodded. She looked down at the photo. 'When I lost him that first time I was certain I would never survive the pain or find another to love.' Her fingers tightened on the frame. 'Of course, all the things they say are true; time heals and you learn to love again.'

'But you never remarried?' Daniel questioned gently.

Catherine shook her head. 'There was another when I was younger but as our wedding date approached it was clear that he intended for me to give up my work.'

'And you weren't prepared to do that.' Daniel stated.

'I told myself that if he loved me, he would not make such a request.' Catherine gave a huff of laughter. 'And later I realised that the reason why I had fallen for him was only because I missed Ernest.' She shifted in the chair. 'By the time I was next ready to think about love, there was the Stargate.' She looked at him sympathetically. 'You grieve for Sha're still.'

Daniel felt tears prick the back of his eyes and he averted his gaze. 'I can't seem to get past it. I'm not sure I'm ever going to love anyone the way I loved her.'

'Of course not.' Catherine tutted at him. 'When you fall in love again, Daniel, you will love them for who they are just as you loved Sha're for who she was.'

'I know but…' Daniel stopped, unwilling to admit his deepest fears; that he wasn't sure he could ever risk loving someone the way he had loved Sha're. He sighed. 'You know I envied Ernest once. How he was able to keep you with him all that time.'

'It wasn't me, Daniel.' Catherine pointed out. 'It was an illusion of me.' She smiled. 'Those first months were hard at times because he would confuse us and oh, how I envied her; the illusion he had created of me. She was so perfect and he seemed to love her so much.'

'She was you.' Daniel said confused.

'But that's my point, Daniel. She wasn't.' Catherine smiled sadly. 'Just as he wasn't the Ernest I had immortalised in my memory. Do you remember when we met?'

'I'm not likely to forget it.' Daniel smiled. 'It changed my life.'

'You reminded me so much of Ernest.' Catherine said. 'Your intelligence and your passion. Your desire to explore and learn.'

Daniel looked away from her. 'I'm not sure I'm the same man I was.'

'You've changed.' Catherine agreed. 'As we all change but let me ask you; if you were to go back in time and I was to offer you the same opportunity again today would you say no, knowing what you know now?'

'I don't know.' Daniel said slowly. 'Maybe the Goa'uld wouldn't have attacked Earth.'

'Well, you know that's not true.' Catherine reprimanded him. 'The other reality you visited proved that.'

'Sha're would have been better off if she had never met me.' The words tumbled out of him unwillingly.

'I rather doubt Sha're would have thought the same.' Catherine said softly.

'No.' Daniel blinked back tears. 'Sometimes,' he admitted, 'it's as though Sha're's memory is slipping from my mind like sand through my fingers.' He looked down at the book. 'I miss her.'

'I miss Ernest terribly too.' Catherine reached over and he clasped her outstretched hand. She squeezed it gently before she let go. 'You should get some sleep. Your flight leaves early.'

Daniel nodded and closed the book. He followed her up the stairs and wished her goodnight on the landing. He went into the guest room and climbed into bed. He lay awake staring at the ceiling, turning over Catherine's words in his head.

'_If you were to go back in time and I was to offer you the same opportunity again today would you say no, knowing what you know now?'_

He frowned, his mind drifting back. He had no real idea why he had said yes to Catherine all those years before. He knew it had little to do with a love of exploration.

Money.

That had been part of it. He'd been at the end of his funds.

Intellectual curiosity.

Sure; that had also played its part.

Because he had nowhere else to go…

He feared his last thought was the absolute truth of the matter.

It was a thought that stayed with him as he said goodbye to Catherine and as he travelled back to Colorado the next day. It was raining as he stumbled from the car and into the mountain. He shook his head sending droplets of spray flying from his hair.

'Daniel.'

'Jack?' Daniel removed his rain-splattered glasses and blinked at Jack's blurry image.

Jack was brushing himself off. 'Raining is it?' He asked caustically.

'What are you doing here?' Daniel asked confused.

'I work here.' Jack replied.

'No, I mean…' Daniel's words were arrested with a violent sneeze. He felt a pack of tissues hit his chest and he quickly opened them up as he felt his glasses plucked from his hands. He wiped his nose with one and stuffed it in his pocket. He blinked as Jack handed him his glasses back. He put them back on and peered out at Jack smirking. He sighed even as he felt his delight at how the other man had clearly been waiting to greet him.

'Come on.' Jack clasped his shoulder. 'We have a briefing in twenty minutes.'

They passed through security and entered the elevator.

'How was Catherine?' Jack asked, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his BDU pants.

'You know.' Daniel said quietly and Jack nodded; if it was one of the things that Jack understood well it was grief. 'She was going to go and stay with her niece for a while.'

'Good.' Jack declared. He paused. 'I mean, good that she's staying with someone.'

'Jack.'

'Daniel.'

'Do you ever regret going through the Stargate that first time to Abydos?' Daniel asked.

Jack shot him a look. 'No.'

'No?'

'No.'

'Just no?' Daniel questioned in exasperation.

They glared at each other.

Jack sighed and looked away, staring at the floor indicator. 'I don't regret going to Abdyos, Daniel.'

'Even though we started the war with the Goa'uld?' Daniel asked tentatively.

Jack looked at him and Daniel flushed under the suddenly contemplative gaze the military man wore.

'I'm not sure there was a choice, Daniel. I'm not sure Ra would ever have given us a choice.' Jack said firmly, without any hint of levity. He shuffled a little. 'There's no point dwelling on it. What's done is done; we just have to deal with it.'

'It's just…we never seem to make a difference.' Daniel argued softly. No matter how many Goa'ulds they defeated, there always seemed to be one more.

'We make a difference.' Jack disagreed sincerely.

Daniel nodded slowly.

The elevator halted and the doors slid open. They walked out to the briefing room and Daniel dumped his bag in a chair as he joined Jack by the window overlooking the Stargate.

Sam's reflection appeared in the glass and Daniel watched as Jack turned to greet her.

'Major.'

'Colonel.' She halted beside them.

'Great view, huh, Major?' Jack commented, waving out at the Stargate as it turned dialling a number to another world. A team stood ready in the gate room to ship out. The wormhole engaged, casting everything in its blue radiance.

'Fabulous, sir.'

'See any fluctuations in the event horizon, Carter?' Jack asked teasingly.

Daniel wondered at the comment and the faint blush that coloured Sam's cheeks.

Teal'c entered the briefing room and Jack waved him over.

'Nice of you to join us, Teal'c.' Jack said.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. 'Indeed.'

They watched as the team walked confidently up the ramp and into the blue puddle; as it disappeared with a blink and the iris reengaged.

Daniel felt his lips lift into a smile, Catherine's words running back through his head.

'_If you were to go back in time and I was to offer you the same opportunity again today would you say no, knowing what you know now?'_

Maybe he was uncertain of the future but he was certain about one thing; he wouldn't change his past; he wouldn't change being part of SG1.

Behind them, Hammond cleared his throat. 'If you're all ready.'

Jack looked at his team; Sam nodded briskly, Teal'c inclined his head solemnly and Daniel…Daniel smiled back confidently.

Jack turned back to the General. 'We're ready, sir.'

Hammond's pale blue eyes warmed and his ruddy face broke into a smile. 'Take your seats, SG1.'


	13. Comparative Studies

**Author's Notes: **SG1 team friendship with emphasis on Sam/Team. Mild Sam/Jack UST.

**Proving Ground Recap:** _A young SG team follow Jack and Teal'c into an abandoned warehouse; there is weapons fire and the young team find Jack and Teal'c unconscious with Sam and Daniel holding zats on each other. Sam claims to be Tok'ra and that Daniel has been taken by a Goa'uld. The young Lt in charge hesitates and when one of the team fires on Sam with an intar, Daniel 'kills' them all. The training exercise is over. Jack reams out Lt Elliot for hesitating while Sam reprimands one team member, Satterfield for putting her crush on Daniel ahead of taking the appropriate course of action. The team is dismissed._

_Elliot, Satterfield, Grogan and Lt Hailey all commiserate with each other over the day's events. Elliot is certain Jack doesn't like him; Hailey notes that Jack would do anything for his team. In the commissary, Sam and Jack discuss the young recruits; Sam takes an optimistic position while Jack is more pessimistic while acknowledging that they are the future of the programme. _

_The next day, the young team all perform another exercise under Jack's supervision. It goes badly; Grogan is left behind by Elliot and Jack is not impressed. However, just as Jack is lining up to ream them out, he receives a call. The others eavesdrop and hear Jack confirm a foothold situation at the SGC. A convoy arrives and Jack orders them home while he surreptitiously changes his ammo. Jack heads down to greet the convoy but is shot as he takes them out. Elliot and the team offer to give an injured Jack back-up and he reluctantly accepts. They break into the SGC and head to Sam's lab. They overhear Teal'c talking with a guard and surmise that something has taken possession of the SGC team members, and Major Carter has evaded capture. They change their guns and head out to get control of the Stargate. _

_However, what the young team don't know is that it is all part of a training simulation and their every move is being monitored on security cameras although they almost find out when they return to Sam's lab early and see Jack letting a guard go. Eventually, three of the team take out the briefing room and 'neutralise' Teal'c and Daniel while Hailey attempts to shut down the Stargate. They are applauded for achieving their mission but there is suddenly an incoming wormhole and radiation floods the base, apparently killing Hailey who is unconscious in the gate room._

_They evacuate but on the way to the observation room on another level, they realise Elliot has gone back for Hailey. He gets the iris closed manually and calls for medical back-up – only for it to be revealed as part of the test with Hailey in on it. Elliot is welcomed to the SGC by Hammond; he will join SG17 under the command of Major Mansfield. Jack praises him as the base returns to normal – with another incoming wormhole. _

**Comparative Studies**

It was customary for the SGC recruits to be taken out for a celebratory drink by the SG team leader in charge of their evaluation – or so Lieutenant James Thomas Elliot had been told enthusiastically by Matt Grogan the first night they had bunked together after being assigned to the training programme. Jennifer Hailey had confirmed the tradition to Tamsin Satterfield in the middle of a hastily taken lunch one day and Elliot realised in hindsight that Hailey must have already been through it. Still, Elliot hadn't really thought Colonel O'Neill would hold with the tradition.

O'Neill had coined the nickname 'Colonel Hardass' from the first ever recruits through the training programme and Elliot hadn't seen much evidence that the intervening years had changed O'Neill's approach. The man was intimidating. He had a tough, uncompromising persona that Elliot admired but which made O'Neill about as approachable as a rattlesnake in a bad temper. The Colonel had relaxed a smidgeon at the end of the training test when he'd delivered the news with General Hammond but that single moment of unbending wasn't enough to prevent Elliot pausing in the doorway of the bar with a sense of bemusement that O'Neill had invited them out for a celebratory drink with him and the rest of SG1.

Elliot felt Grogan slap his shoulder.

'Do you believe this?' Grogan's eyes were lit up. He hadn't stopped grinning since the team had secured their provisional pass after completing the SGC training simulation.

'Surreal.' Elliot confirmed with a reserved nod. He wasn't as gregarious as Grogan who seemed to be able to make friends at the drop of a hat. He also figured he was more driven than Grogan who had joined the Air Force because he'd wanted the adventure; Elliot had joined because he had ambitions to be the best of the best. He figured Hailey, who waved at them from across the bar, and he had more in common; both had been top of their Academy classes, both of them had ambition.

Elliot followed Grogan as he crossed the bar weaving between the tightly packed table and avoiding the sticky spills on the wooden floor to reach a packed booth at the back.

O'Neill got to his feet. 'What are you both drinking?' The question was delivered with a motion to sit. Grogan immediately slid into the booth, shuffling up against Satterfield who grinned at him and continued sipping on some alco-pop thing that was a luminous green colour.

'Beer, sir.' Grogan answered.

O'Neill's dark eyes slid to Elliot questioningly. 'Lieutenant?'

'Beer for me too, sir.' He'd have preferred a Coke. Social drinking wasn't Elliot's thing, he preferred to keep control, and when he really wanted a drink in private, he followed his grandfather's choice; Scotch, straight up. Usually he was the first to put his hand up as designated driver but Grogan had insisted on a cab so they both could make a night of it and Elliot hadn't felt compelled to argue.

'Two beers coming right up.' O'Neill left without another word.

Elliot looked at the small space remaining on the trainee side of the booth and grabbed a nearby chair which he angled up to the end of the table. He liked Grogan but he had no wish to be that close to him.

On the other hand, Daniel was scrunched up against Hailey who didn't seem to be complaining. Elliot figured Satterfield wasn't the only one with a crush. Teal'c was next to Daniel, a baseball cap hiding the distinctive gold brand on his dark forehead. The Jaffa was sipping on what looked like an orange cocktail in an outlandish glass complete with little umbrellas. Grogan nudged Elliot's foot surreptitiously in amusement as they both spotted it at the same time. Elliot shrugged; Teal'c was probably the only person who could get away with such a drink without fear of being teased.

'So, congratulations.' Samantha Carter caught his eye. She raised her beer bottle. 'SG17?'

Elliot nodded, unable to hide a flush of pride. 'Yes, ma'am.'

'Major Mansfield sends his regrets.' Carter continued. 'He and his team are…abroad or they would have joined us.'

Elliot felt a twinge of disappointment but nodded again in understanding. 'I'm looking forward to joining the team, ma'am.'

'Here you go.' O'Neill handed Elliot one beer and passed another to Grogan. He glanced at Elliot and dragged over another chair. Elliot realised a beat later that the rest of SG1 seemed oblivious to the additional space O'Neill had left. They remained with their elbows tangled, their shoulders overlapping and pressed hip to thigh up against each other. He guessed years of off-world missions and close quarters made nonsense out of the concept of personal space. He pulled himself out of his thoughts as he realised Daniel was speaking.

'So, you guys must have some questions?' Daniel gestured at them, his expression open and friendly.

Satterfield blushed. 'I was actually wondering about the language on the fake artefact, Doctor Jackson…'

Elliot noticed the surreptitious amused look O'Neill and Carter exchanged, and he barely refrained from rolling his own eyes. He took a drink of his beer allowing his attention to wander as the archaeologist answered Satterfield. Elliot leaned back in his chair, unbalancing it so that the weight was left on the back two props. He hooked his foot into the under bar on the table to ensure he didn't over-balance and go sprawling. That would not be cool and given the company he was with, he so wanted to be cool.

Elliot felt another rush of pleasure at his success.

He had made it.

He had passed the training and would report to the SGC in a couple of days as a fully fledged member of a SG team. Had it only been that morning that Elliot had believed he had blown his chances? O'Neill was a difficult commander to please. He expected perfection; he expected the best. God knew, Elliot thought as his eyes scanned the Colonel's team, he worked with the best so why wouldn't he?

When General Kerrigan had told him about the Stargate, Elliot had considered himself among the elite. He'd worked hard; had achieved his aim of being first in his class. He'd already applied for a position as a pilot, mainly because he had dreams of NASA one day. To be pulled aside and told there was something else even more incredible had been a revelation but as soon as he had found about, he had wanted the Stargate programme and wanted it badly.

The first week of training had been easy enough given it was mainly sitting through an interminable number of briefings on the Stargate and the history of the programme. It had cemented his desire. Everything he'd been taught about the Stargate had confirmed that it wasn't just the best who were assigned but the best of the best. To have just made the training programme was a mark of how good he was but Elliot hadn't been satisfied with that honour; he'd wanted to make it all the way and secure a position on an off-world team…and he'd done it.

Elliot glowed with satisfaction.

Hailey caught his eye again and grinned as though she could read his mind. Elliot flushed a little but raised his bottle in acknowledgement. He guessed Hailey knew how he felt. Somewhere the conversation he had been ignoring had drifted to the nanobots in the simulation and Hailey's face was animated as she described how she and Major Carter had created the whole idea. The Major was adding technical detail here and there but she was letting Hailey hold the floor. Elliot glanced at the Major who was smiling encouragingly at Hailey.

Elliot's gaze skipped to the Colonel's. O'Neill's attention was completely on the Major, but just as his mind made the observation, the Colonel's attention was diverted as Teal'c made some remark about Daniel helping with a birth. Elliot was riveted to the interplay between SG1 as Daniel was encouraged to tell the story.

Daniel's bright blue eyes shone with intelligence and enthusiasm. His hands moved constantly, weaving in and out of gestures as he spoke. It was easy to see as he told the story of the Argos mission that he gave SG1 a human viewpoint on what was essentially a military mission. Yet Elliot had an idea that people underestimated the archaeologist. Elliot believed fervently that there was more to Jackson than words, languages and idealism given the reports they'd been allowed to read through training. They had hinted at a core of courage and bravery.

Elliot wondered what that had been like; to walk through the Stargate the very first time. His eyes sneaked back to O'Neill. The Colonel had made the trip with Jackson that first time. It had created an evident bond between the two men. There was banter and teasing in the way of brothers or best friends. O'Neill had no issues interrupting Daniel's flow to add or detract from the other's tale. Elliot had no doubt that each would lay down the lives for the other but he had the sense that neither of them fully understood just how much of their bond was evident. Teal'c got it, Elliot surmised.

The former First Prime missed nothing. His dark eyes watched over his team-mates protectively. Elliot shivered. God help anyone who hurt SG1 because they would have Teal'c to contend with. The Jaffa was more than a protective shield though; Elliot could see that. He was the rock on which the rest leaned; their touch point. They all looked to the Jaffa for strength – even O'Neill who was definitely the leader.

Carter's role in the team was less obvious. Before meeting the team, Elliot had initially dismissed her as adding nothing more than her technical genius and that was definitely part of it, Elliot mused. But as Daniel glanced at her as he mentioned her squeamishness and Carter rolled her eyes at him; as the Colonel made some quip and she ducked her head to hide a smile, as Teal'c solemnly handed her his cocktail umbrella as though it was an expensive gift, Elliot began to understand that her place in the team was more than her brain or her IQ. She was the one the others didn't want to disappoint.

Elliot took a large swig of beer to cover his revelation. He wasn't even sure Carter knew it; he wasn't even sure they knew it. Maybe it had something to do with her being the only woman but Elliot figured it had more to do with that first year when their bonds had formed. From the reports, the three men had been personally invested in the fight with the Goa'uld; O'Neill due to his part in killing Ra, Daniel because of his wife, and Teal'c's rebellion against his God was to win his freedom. Only Carter had been there because it was her duty; for no other reason than to protect her world. She had initially fought because it was the right thing to do and maybe the men around her admired her for that. He knew he did.

Elliot had also been aware that the SG1 guys had been very protective with Carter during the week of training; unobtrusively but noticeable in the small stuff – the way they had never left her alone or how they had automatically grouped around her occasionally. Grogan had made some derogatory comment their second day of training and it had been Hailey who had corrected Grogan sharply. She had clued them into Carter's kidnapping and why. Elliot wondered at how Carter must have felt being abducted just because she had once been host to a Tok'ra symbiote. Elliot shook his head; just the idea of the Tok'ra, of symbiotes was mind-boggling.

It was fascinating watching SG1 together. Elliot envied them. One day, he determined; one day he would make SG1. He would be part of the elite flagship team. His lips twisted. He guessed he should focus on doing a good job on SG17 first; that would be the next test. One step at a time but he would get there. The smattering of applause pulled Elliot back into the present and he belatedly realised that Daniel had wrapped up the Argos story.

'Well, I guess I should make some kind of speech.' O'Neill drawled formally.

They all looked at him expectantly.

He raised his beer. 'Congratulations.'

Daniel sighed expressively.

'What?' O'Neill said, unrepentant.

'Congratulations.' Carter stepped in before the two could begin exchanging barbs. She raised her beer and there was a moment of clinking glasses before they all took a drink.

O'Neill set his empty beer bottle down with a thud. 'Well, hate to cut this short but we should leave; we have an early start tomorrow.' His words were delivered lightly but the rest of his team immediately responded, finishing their drinks with apologetic smiles at the trainees. The Colonel stood up and SG1 slid out of the booth.

Elliot scrambled to his feet, sending his chair back to Earth with a bump even as O'Neill waved at him to sit down. The Colonel directed a smile at the table; his brown eyes warming to the colour of hot chocolate. 'Congratulations. Oh, and Elliot?'

Elliot straightened automatically.

'The next time you shoot me, I shoot back.' The accompanying smirk softened the threat but only just.

'Yes, sir.' Elliot acknowledged crisply.

O'Neill motioned at his team and SG1 left the bar.

Elliot breathed out and sat back down as the others spaced themselves around the now almost empty booth.

Grogan sprawled comfortably across the seat and gestured wildly with his bottle. 'Can you believe we made it?'

'No.' Elliot shook his head. 'I thought we were going to wash out for sure.' They hadn't been doing all that well. Elliot was beginning to realise that he had been too hung up on working out the answer to the simulation instead of just doing his job as he had done when he'd thought it was real.

'You were quite the hero.' Satterfield commented teasingly. Her dark eyes slid to Hailey who coloured and shrugged.

Elliot tried to ignore the rising heat in his own cheeks as he recalled the way he had picked up Hailey. 'I thought she was dying.' He said mildly, tipping his chair back again and trying to pretend a nonchalance he didn't feel.

'Sure.' Grogan teased.

'I appreciated the gesture.' Hailey said with a smile.

Elliot nodded but he focused on his mug. Hailey was pretty and she was smart; two things which appealed to him in the opposite sex but he was focused on his career and he had no intention of screwing up his future with an ill-timed romance. He figured she would feel the same way.

'I can't believe you were in on it.' Grogan complained good-naturedly, reaching across Satterfield to poke Hailey in the shoulder.

Hailey shrugged. 'They always put a new recruit in with the trainees. You'll get your chance to do the same.' She motioned at Elliot. 'I'm impressed you filched Major Carter's access card. That was some trick.'

Elliot shrugged. He wasn't about to confide his delinquent years. His father had ended up sending him to a military school to 'straighten him out.' Elliot had found himself challenged and had taken to the discipline like a duck to water.

Hailey's eyes strayed to the clock. 'Well, guys, I have to split too.' She stood and grinned at them. 'See you around the SGC.'

They watched her go and Grogan shook his head. 'I still can't believe she was in on it.'

'I'm just glad she was on our side.' Satterfield sighed expressively.

'Was she?' Grogan frowned. 'She didn't exactly help us.'

'That wasn't why she was there.' Elliot said simply. 'She was evaluating how we did as a team when everyone else wasn't around.' He wasn't certain he'd made that good an impression before his rescue attempt. He'd dismissed her attempts to commit to succeeding as a team after all. He looked down to hide the sudden churn of emotion that twisted his gut.

And that had been the major lesson; SG teams were about the team. They weren't about one individual protecting their own ass but about working together where any individual might have to sacrifice themselves for the rest. He'd got what O'Neill had been trying to teach them late in the programme but he'd got it and that's what counted.

Satterfield looked wistfully around and raised her empty bottle. 'Who's for another?'

'Count me in.' Grogan chugged back the last of his beer.

Elliot drained his beer and set it on the table. 'You guys go ahead. I'm heading back.' He resisted the inevitable protests and finally managed to extricate himself with a promise to meet up for breakfast the next day.

He stepped out of the bar and into the cold night air with relief. He looked up at the myriad of stars dotting the dark blanket of the night sky with a rush of pleasure. He would travel to those stars; he would fulfil his dream. He would be part of the Stargate programme and help keep his world safe.

Elliot let the grin spread over his face. He had made it.

o-O-o

Sam shrugged out of her denim jacket and placed it carefully on the hook. She hit the light switch, illuminating the hallway through to the kitchen. She stretched, easing the kinks in her spine and the knots in her shoulders. She had liked the trainees but she'd been just as pleased when Colonel O'Neill had given their excuses and they'd been able to depart the traditional drinks. The end of the training simulation had also signalled SG1's return to the off world duty roster and the team were due to head out first thing the next day on a mission. It was their first off world sojourn since Sam's abduction by Adrian Conrad and the Colonel's injury when he had rescued her. Although they had both been medically cleared, Sam knew their participation in the training had been a way of gently reintroducing them to the action; the real test would come the next day.

It would be good to really get back on the bike, Sam told herself, ignoring the flutter of nerves through her belly. She should get the early night the Colonel had suggested and make sure she was rested for the mission. She padded through her house to the kitchen, filled a kettle and set it on the stove to boil. A moment later, a large mug stood ready with an herbal teabag.

She left the kitchen and made her way into her bedroom, switching on lights as she went. She undressed, throwing her clothes in the laundry basket before donning her usual nightwear of pyjama bottoms and tank top. The cool air prickled her skin and she threw on a terry robe, leaving the belt undone. A visit to the bathroom took care of her make-up. She wandered barefoot back to the kitchen and the boiling kettle. She made her tea and leaned back against the breakfast bar as she waited for it to steep.

The training week had gone well, Sam mused. The Colonel had taken a hard line with the trainees but she knew he did it to ensure they would be able to face much worse when they were in the field. She fidgeted with the small cord on the teabag. She smiled remembering how her CO had denied ever being as young when she had run into him in the mess the evening before. The trainees had reminded Sam of when she had joined the programme; when she had been that young and enthusiastic about the Stargate. Her eyes rolled.

She guessed there were comparisons that could be drawn between the trainee team and SG1. Hailey and herself were the most obvious given they were both scientists and dedicated to the Air Force. Not to mention that they were both driven in their careers and fields of expertise; both first in their class at the Academy. The Colonel had also spent much of the week calling Hailey 'Mini-Carter' when they'd been out of earshot of the trainees. Sam dunked the teabag with a frown. Really, though, Hailey and she were nothing alike. Yes, she allowed as she threw the teabag in the trash and inhaled the fragrant Jasmine tea, there were surface similarities but Hailey and she were different.

Hailey's roots were in small town Americana, her father an insurance salesman and her mother a housewife. Sam had spent her formative years as an Air Force brat, travelling from one of her Dad's postings to the next, and any kind of stability had disappeared with her Mom's death. Hailey had been popular at High School and had admitted to Sam that she had been on the cheerleading squad; Sam had spent most of her time in school two years ahead of her age group and adopted as a geeky mascot by the more senior popular kids who liked having someone around who could give them the answers.

Sam grimaced as she took a sip of tea. It wasn't that her school years provoked bad memories but after changing High School many times in two years between her Freshman and Junior years she had barely had time to make acquaintances never mind friends. It was just that she envied Hailey, she mused. The stable upbringing had given Hailey a level of inner self-confidence that Sam wasn't sure she had herself. She sighed as she gazed into the depths of her mug. Sam knew she wasn't lacking in confidence when it came to her science, her capabilities as an Air Force Major…but as a woman? As Samantha Carter?

'Let's not go there.' Sam muttered out loud. So what if her personal life was non-existent? If her family had transformed from her brother and father into her team. If the man she loved had made it clear he was unattainable. Sam dumped the tea in the sink, washed the mug and set in on the drainer. She reached into a cabinet for a bottle of water. She unscrewed the cap and took a long gulp. How had she meandered into the hopeless state of her love life anyway, Sam mused as she wandered along the hallway to her bedroom. She left the bottle on her bedside table as she paid a final quick visit to the bathroom.

She was in the midst of brushing her teeth when her mind drifted back to the subject of comparisons. Grogan and Teal'c were like night and day, she concluded with amusement. The former was gregarious and outgoing; the latter reserved and contained. Grogan reminded her of a slightly over-eager Labrador puppy whereas Teal'c was much more like a wise, sage Sheepdog. She inwardly chuckled a little as she rinsed out her mouth.

Satterfield and Daniel were probably a better comparison – maybe a bit like her and Hailey, Sam considered as she patted her mouth dry and threw her toothbrush into the glass at the side of the basin. Both were academically brilliant; multi-lingual; archaeologists and historians. Yet she knew Satterfield had also benefited from a two-parent stable upbringing in a mixed marriage of a Korean bride and American veteran soldier, while Daniel had suffered a turbulent trek from foster home to foster home. They definitely shared the same sense of compassion, Sam thought as she climbed under the covers. Satterfield's last minute protection of Daniel in the training exercise had been captured by the surveillance tapes. Of course that might have been down to the crush the young woman clearly had on the archaeologist. Sam smiled. Daniel always seemed completely oblivious to the female attention he garnered especially since he had buffed up in the past few years.

Sam lay still in the illuminated room; her eyes wide open. Had Satterfield gone back for Daniel because of her feelings for him or because it had been the right thing to do? Sam guessed not even Satterfield would be able to answer the question. Sam remembered only too well how she had gone back for the Colonel at Hathor's base – against orders. She had no idea whether she had done that because she had been growing to care for him more than she should or whether she had done it because it had been the right thing.

So not thinking about that, Sam reminded herself briskly. Elliot and the Colonel – there was a comparison she hadn't considered yet. She frowned, her mouth turning downward. She wasn't sure there was a comparison even though both had been cast in the role of team leader. The Colonel just had years of command experience that Elliot could not emulate no matter how much he might want to – and she should know. Sam propped a hand under her pillow. She had so been where Elliot was; trying to match up to the Colonel as a commander. She turned over trying to dispel the thought.

Elliot reminded her more of a couple of the guys that she had trained with at the Academy; driven and ambitious with eyes set clearly on being the best. She guessed she'd probably fallen into that category herself. She could empathise with Elliot. He had spent a lot of his time in training trying to work out what the Colonel had wanted and she had been the same during her first couple of months under his command until she had worked out that all he wanted was for her to do her job. She guessed she had the same failing as Elliot; she thought too much. Her lips quirked upwards – just look at what she was doing that moment; analysing the trainee team and comparing them with SG1.

Anything to avoid what was really on her mind.

Her stomach churned and she turned onto her back, a hand stroking beneath the tank top to settle warmly over her belly as though to soothe it.

It would be fine, Sam told herself grimly. The mission the next day was a milk run; a simple follow-up survey for a possible Alpha site. The planet had already been surveyed by SG10; they had already confirmed it was deserted with no risks. All tomorrow was about was confirming the original report, making sure the planet was viable.

Easy.

Just another mission like the hundred or so she had performed before.

Except.

She felt sick.

Sam sat up. She pushed back the covers and made a circuit of her house, checking that the doors were locked. She climbed back into bed wearily and kept the light on as she had done every night since she had returned home after the whole Adrian Conrad thing. She pulled the blanket up over her cold body.

The whole Adrian Conrad thing.

That was one way to describe her abduction; the experiments that had been performed on her like she was a lab rat; the way she had been dehumanised just to satisfy one man's wish to live. Her eyes prickled with fresh angry tears and she wiped them away, annoyed that the incident still had the power to upset her.

She had been through worse; Jolinar, torture at the hands of the Goa'uld…yet what Adrian Conrad had done to her seemed worse. Just because he was human. Just because she was supposed to be safe on Earth. It didn't help that Conrad had evaded capture. While she doubted that the Goa'uld who inhabited Conrad would come after her for the reasons Conrad had grabbed her, she could admit to herself that it was unsettling knowing that her abductor was still at large.

The guys had been great, Sam mused. Teal'c had helped her train, sharpening her hand to hand fighting skills; Daniel had provided a friendly ear whenever she had needed a distraction and the Colonel had bolstered her confidence and reassured her she would recover. She had needed his conviction that she would; she hadn't been certain. She was grateful that he had relaxed the professional distance he had reinstated between them after she had been possessed by a computer entity. He had seemed to realise that she had needed him to be a friend to her not just her CO and she appreciated that even though she knew he had moved on from feeling anything more from her.

Sam frowned, pushing the thought to the back of her mind and turned over again. The Colonel had been right; she had got through. She had recovered and it was over. She rubbed her nose. It was over and she was fit for duty. She was ready to get back to work. There was nothing to worry about. Sam reached over and snapped the light off, plunging the room into darkness. It was over and it was time to move on.


	14. Revenge: A Dish Best Served Cold

**Author's Notes:** Team friendship.

**48 Hours Recap:** _SG1 are fleeing a planet under heavy glider fire; Sam and Daniel get through the wormhole, Jack sustains a minor head injury before he enters and Teal'c turns to fire at an alkesh piloted by Tanith. He successfully hits the ship and enters the wormhole but back at the SGC the wormhole disappears without Teal'c's arrival. They immediately go to the control room to dial the planet but there is an error message and Sam recommends aborting the sequence._

_Sam investigates and realises Teal'c is stored in the Stargate buffer but she doesn't know how to get him out and worse any incoming wormhole will erase the memory. Hammond agrees to a plan that effectively sees the SGC 'bury' their gate while off world teams gate home through the Russian Stargate. Hammond sends Daniel to Russia to help liaise as Sam tries to work out how to rescue Teal'c. Jack, who has a concussion, visits Sam in the control room where she confides that the reintegration of Teal'c is complex and may not even be possible. _

_Colonel Simmons turns up with a Doctor McKay who has been studying the Stargate from Area 51. McKay will work with Sam to bring Teal'c back in the allotted time and Simmons gives Hammond new orders that denote that the pair has 48 hours and then the programme will resume. Meanwhile, in Russia Colonel Chekov challenges Daniel and Major Davis over the agreement over sharing technology. _

_Maybourne turns up and approaches Jack; he assures him that he didn't shoot him. Maybourne warns Jack about Simmons and tells him that he'll stay in town in case Jack needs him. _

_Meanwhile, McKay tells Sam he doesn't work for Simmons but he continues to challenge Sam over her 'reckless' use of the gate, noting that he's surprised the programme recognised the error and that they aborted the dialling sequence. Sam takes a call from Daniel who tells her that the Tok'ra have confirmed that a DHD would have compensated and reintegrated Teal'c but they don't know how to fix it. Sam asks Daniel if the Russians would give them their DHD and Daniel notes 'not without giving back Alaska.' _

_Simmons approaches Hammond; he tells him he has the solution and if Hammond agrees to what Simmons wants, Simmons will give him the info. Hammond notes Simmons is breaking many laws and he could have him arrested. Simmons notes that if Hammond does, Teal'c will not be recovered. Jack goes to see Maybourne. Simmons asked for a Goa'uld hand device and they believe that Simmons probably has the Goa'uld who took control of Adrian Conrad. They need Maybourne to help find him. _

_Daniel struggles in Russia with the political wrangling between Chekov and Davis as Jack and Maybourne track down the Goa'uld, and Sam argues with McKay realising it's his theories which have set the 48 hour deadline. Jack and Maybourne find the Goa'uld and Jack realising that the cell is on surveillance finds the tape he needs just in time to stop the resumption of the programme at the SGC. Hammond orders Simmons' arrest. _

_Daniel's impassioned plea to Chekov secures the DHD required to reintegrate Teal'c. As McKay protests, Hammond informs him that he will be leaving for Moscow to help them with their naquadah generator programme. Sam and Siler set up the DHD and Teal'c reappears but a feedback surge destroys the DHD. As Sam and Jack welcome an oblivious Teal'c back, he tells them he has his vengeance: Tanith is dead._

**Revenge: A Dish Best Served Cold**

Colonel Chekov was remarkably sanguine about the loss of the DHD. His face had gone several shades of red, one within touching distance of purple, but he had made a non-committal noise and an almost Gallic shrug as though to dismiss the whole thing as an annoyance. Still, Daniel Jackson gave a small sigh of relief as he ushered the Russian Colonel into the elevator to escort him to the surface of the Mountain, not least because the departure of the Russian liaison meant he would finally have five minutes to check on his newly reintegrated team mate, Teal'c, but mainly because it would mean that the prospect of Chekov erupting in a violent rage about the loss of the DHD would be over.

Daniel shot a nervous smile at Major Davis, who was escorting Chekov all the way to Petersen, and pressed the button to take the elevator upwards.

'I have received word that your naquadah expert has arrived safely in Moscow.' Chekov stated gruffly. 'I thought you would want to know.'

'Thank you.' Davis said politely. 'Doctor McKay is considered to be one of our foremost scientific experts on the Stargate.'

'I can assure you he will be treated with the utmost respect.' Chekov confirmed.

He wasn't certain he was that bothered, thought Daniel uncharacteristically. Sam had filled him in on how McKay's theories had led to the forty-eight hour deadline they had been given for coming up with a solution on how to get Teal'c out of the Stargate's crystal memory buffer. Jack had filled him in how McKay had called Sam a certifiable whack-job. Given his own experience of dealing with the Russians, Daniel considered Moscow a just punishment.

The elevator jolted to a gentle halt and Daniel almost jumped at the unexpected stop. The doors slid open and revealed Jack O'Neill. Daniel's heart sank. Chekov blamed Jack for the loss of three Russian soldiers during a rescue mission. He had infuriated Jack who blamed the Russians for issuing secret orders that had endangered the mission. The two had little time for each other and Daniel had made an effort to make sure they were never in the same place for too long and certainly never alone.

Daniel knew Jack well enough to see his slight hesitation before the military man straightened his shoulders and stepped into the small compartment. Chekov refused to move back and there was a moment of jostling while Davis and Daniel attempted to shift around to make room for Jack without making it too obvious to either Jack or Chekov.

'Colonel.' Chekov said formally. His back was so tense that Daniel figured it had to be painful.

'Colonel.' Jack responded, stuffing his hands into his BDU pants' pockets.

'How's Teal'c?' Daniel asked quickly, stepping forward almost between the two men.

'Good.' Jack answered, darting a glance at Daniel. 'Still has _all_ of his appendages.' He waggled his eyebrows and Daniel repressed the urge to throttle him knowing Jack was playing the fool to annoy Chekov. Jack turned to Chekov before Daniel could register what he was doing. 'Sorry about your DHD.'

Chekov bristled and his face turned the worrying puce colour. 'You are not sorry.'

Daniel and Davis exchanged an anxious look. The elevator was too small for confrontations between proud Colonels and the probability of them being collateral damage in any explosion between the two men was high.

'No,' Jack agreed easily, 'I'm not.' He paused, a rather serious look entering his eyes as he caught Chekov's. 'But I am sincerely grateful you allowed us to use it to get Teal'c back.'

Chekov gave a surprised harrumph.

Daniel hid a smile. That was Jack. Annoying as hell but surprisingly genuine when least expected.

'Your Doctor Jackson is very persuasive.' Chekov noted.

'Yes.' Jack slid a look toward Daniel who flushed. 'He is.'

'I am simply pleased that Teal'c has returned safely.' Chekov demurred. 'And with everything intact.' His eyebrows rose expressively over eyes that suddenly twinkled.

Jack's lips twitched. The elevator slid to another halt. Jack jerked his head at the opening doors. 'Well, this is my stop.'

'I'm sure we will see each other again, Colonel.' Chekov said.

Jack smiled – possibly a tad painfully in Daniel's opinion – but he didn't reply. He simply nodded at Davis and exited.

Daniel breathed another sigh of relief and adjusted his glasses. He almost felt like they had unexpectedly survived walking through some kind of apocalyptic mine field. They got to the surface without any further delays and Daniel walked out to the waiting limousine.

Chekov paused as the Airman opened the back passenger door for him. He turned to Daniel. 'Your Colonel O'Neill reminds me of Andrei.'

'Colonel Zuchov?' Daniel questioned, surprised at the observation.

'Yes.' Chekov shrugged. 'Andrei was a good man.'

'So's Jack.' Daniel blurted out. He flushed but held his hand out and was pleased when Chekov shook it firmly. 'Thank you.' Daniel said sincerely. 'And I really am sorry about the DHD.'

'Do not worry, Doctor Jackson, I fully intend to blame you.' Chekov smiled as Daniel blinked furiously. 'Goodbye.' He entered the car before Daniel could reply.

Davis shot him a sympathetic look and followed the Russian. Daniel watched as the vehicle pulled away and disappeared into the distance. He expelled another sigh of relief that floated as a frosty mist in the air for an instant before disappearing and as it did, the tension drained from his shoulders and neck. He headed back inside. The elevator was waiting for him and he stepped into the compartment, glorying in the solitude. He took his glasses off and pressed a thumb and finger to the bridge of his nose. He was tired and he was pleased it was over.

The political wrangling of the last few days had been horrific. Daniel put his glasses back on and wrapped his arms around his torso. Chekov was a tough customer; uncompromising, passionate and wily but the Russians had been only half the problem. The US government had been the other. Daniel sighed. He liked Paul Davis, he did. Davis was a good man and, having spent the past few days with him almost twenty-four seven, he could attest that he was enjoyable company. Davis was well read, appreciated art and culture; he was also multi-lingual and sharp as a razor. He also acted entirely with the interests of the United States as his main motivation…something Daniel couldn't agree with.

Maybe he was too idealistic; maybe he was too naïve but he truly believed that when he went through the Stargate it was to benefit Earth not just the country of his birth. The whole planet not just part of it. It was disheartening to learn that the Pentagon didn't have quite the same values. But then, Daniel thought grimly, the Pentagon evidently had stopped valuing a lot of what Daniel held dear including the lives of his team mates. The forty-eight hour deadline might have been suggested by Colonel Frank Simmons but it had been mandated by the Pentagon. Teal'c deserved more after all he had done and Sam definitely deserved more than being called a certifiable whack-job by some Pentagon civilian toady.

Daniel grimaced. He had joined the Stargate programme to make a difference and after years of service all he could see was that their own government didn't even appreciate the effort he and the rest of SG1 – the rest of the SGC – put into keeping the world safe; all the sacrifices they had made. Why did they even bother, Daniel thought grimly, if all they got in return was nothing but ingratitude? If he had somewhere else to go, he would leave.

Maybe.

Not that he had anywhere else to go.

He was tired, Daniel thought firmly. He was just tired.

The elevator slid to a halt and he stepped out almost bumping into Jack who moved past him with a sharp nod of acknowledgement. The other man looked thunderous. Daniel did an about turn and got back into the elevator.

Jack looked at him bemused. 'Daniel.'

'Jack.' Daniel replied. 'What's happened? Is Teal'c…'

'Teal'c's fine. Fraiser's released him to his quarters.' Jack informed him as he leaned a shoulder up against the wall of the compartment and glared at the floor indicator. 'She still wants to keep him under observation for a while since he's been stuck in the Stargate for almost four days.'

'Makes sense.' Daniel said. He noted the way Jack's jaw was tensed. 'So, if Teal'c is fine, you're…' he left the end of the question dangling.

'Simmons wanted to see me.' Jack said tersely. He crossed his arms. 'Apparently.'

'Oh.' That explained a lot. Daniel leaned on the opposite wall. 'He's still here? I thought he was being transferred?' He wasn't ashamed to say he hoped it was to a prison with a lot of bars.

'Tomorrow.' Jack grimaced and rubbed his nose absently. 'They're trying to find someone in the NID without a connection to him to take custody.'

Daniel pulled a face. He guessed that was going to take some time. The yawn caught him by surprise; stretching his mouth wide before he had a chance to catch it.

'You're tired.' Jack said bluntly.

'I am tired.' Daniel tried a smile. 'You know me and travelling.'

'Get some rest.' Jack instructed as the elevator halted again.

'I'll be fine.' Daniel immediately protested.

Jack sighed as he pushed away from the wall. 'What is it with you scientists? I had to order Carter to hit the hay too.'

Daniel shot him a look. 'It's a bit different. She's been working non-stop to save Teal'c and I've…'

'Been doing exactly the same thing.' Jack said firmly. He prevented the elevator doors from closing by holding the left side back with one hand. He held Daniel's shocked gaze. 'You did good with the Russians, Daniel.'

'Yeah, well.' Daniel tried to regroup. That was Jack, he thought again, remembering his earlier musing; the military man was surprisingly genuine when least expected. He fidgeted with his glasses. 'Thank you, oh, and before,' he gestured awkwardly, 'with Chekov. I appreciated you…well, being you know: nice.'

Jack smirked. 'Hey, we just blew up his DHD and sicced McKay on him.' The smirk threatened to turn into a grin. 'What's not to be nice about?'

Daniel's mouth fell open as he realised why Jack had been so generous with Chekov.

Jack wagged a finger at Daniel. 'Get some sleep.' He stepped away from the elevator doors and they slid shut.

Daniel snapped his mouth closed but couldn't help the small smile that pulled at his lips. It looked like Teal'c wasn't the only one who believed in Jaffa revenge.

o-O-o

Jack waited impatiently in the interrogation room. He drummed his fingers on the table. He really didn't want to be there; he had no desire to talk with Simmons but he had his orders. The disgraced NID Colonel had refused to talk with Hammond during the initial interrogation following his arrest and Hammond was keen to see why Simmons had requested an audience with Jack. Jack couldn't care less. As far as he was concerned they could throw Simmons into a dark cell and throw away the key.

There was no doubt in Jack's mind that the NID Colonel had either set up Adrian Conrad's abduction of Carter or he had known it was going to happen. Her abduction had left Carter traumatised; Jack could still see the shadow of it in her eyes. The mission to scout the planet had only been their second off-world since their return to full duty and although she had been as competent as ever, Jack knew Carter was still getting her sea-legs back. Not surprisingly since during her abduction she had been treated as less than human, experimented on and almost killed. The memory of bursting into the medical ward where they had held her and seeing Carter struggling with two doctors who had been trying to give her a lethal injection flashed through Jack's mind. His chest tightened. He had almost been too late. He couldn't forgive Simmons for that; couldn't forgive him for what Carter had been through.

Not to mention the whole Alien-in-Carter's-house investigation debacle that Simmons had led. Jack rubbed his hands through his short grey hair. Simmons had instigated the secret surveillance of Carter, had kept quiet about the potential dangers in testing a weapon the alien had been familiar with. Carter hadn't been blameless but her actions in hiding the alien were more understandable given everyone had been worried about her mental health at the time. Jack knew the incident had damaged the trust between him and Carter. They had worked through it and rebuilt it but he wasn't sure he'd ever forgive Simmons for the role he'd played.

Not that Carter was the only team mate whose life had been affected because of Simmons and his game-playing. The forty-eight hour deadline for saving Teal'c was another Simmons machination, Jack was sure of it. Oh, the scientist dweeb who had been so rude to Carter might have come up with the principle but it had been Simmons who had taken it to the Pentagon and Simmons who had tried to use it to his advantage. Jack grimaced. According to Carter, they had almost run out of time to save Teal'c. As much as Jack hated to say it, if it hadn't been for Maybourne's help in tracking down the Goa'uld Simmons had taken, Teal'c would have been lost forever.

Maybourne.

Jack's face screwed up. The former NID man had sworn blind that he hadn't shot Jack and maybe it was stupid but Jack believed him. Maybourne had named Simmons as the shooter and Jack believed that too. Jack had been a hair's breadth from shooting Conrad when he'd been shot from behind and Simmons had ended up with Conrad. It made sense that Simmons had been the trigger-happy culprit. Jack owed Simmons for that. If he hadn't been wearing a vest he'd be dead. And it was the second time Simmons had tried to kill him. The first time he'd done it without firing a shot; he'd just tied Hammond's hands and prevented the SGC commander from sending Jack vital back-up until it was almost too late while Simmons performed yet another investigation on SG1.

It seemed only Daniel's life hadn't been directly threatened by Simmons but Jack was certain if they hadn't stopped Simmons it would have been only a matter of time. But then in threatening SG1 perhaps Simmons had already damaged Daniel enough, Jack considered. He knew the team was the only family Daniel had and how important that was to the younger man. The prospect of losing that had no doubt stirred some anxieties. Jack wasn't sure he could forgive Simmons for that either.

There was a sharp rap on the door and it opened. Jack stood up as two security guards marched a handcuffed Simmons into the room.

Simmons sat dutifully down in the chair on the opposite side of the table. He looked entirely too smug for Jack's liking. He was dressed in orange coveralls denoting his status as a prisoner yet he wore them like they were an Armani suit. His face was shaven; his dark hair was impeccably groomed. Apparently Simmons wasn't letting himself go in the brig.

One of the SFs left, closing the door behind him while the second retired to the back of the room.

'Are these really necessary?' Simmons raised his cuffed hands and an eyebrow.

Jack ignored the question as he sat back down. 'What do you want?'

Simmons sighed and crossed his legs, resting his cuffed hands on his knee. 'I want you to make the right choice here, Colonel.'

'And that would be?' Jack bit out tersely, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms.

'Releasing me immediately.' Simmons smiled coldly.

'And why would I want to do that?' Jack questioned without flickering.

Simmons gestured. 'You and I both know you have no real evidence against me.'

'You were caught keeping a Goa'uld hostage without reporting its capture or the information it gave you to your superior officers.' Jack stated. 'That's pretty compelling evidence.'

'Please.' Simmons shrugged as though unconcerned. 'I can argue that I was simply ensuring that the Goa'uld's location remained secret and that I was waiting for the intelligence to be validated.'

'Right.' Jack drawled. 'Well, if you're that confident you don't need me.' He made to get up.

'I can help you.' Simmons said quickly.

Jack sat down and raised an eyebrow in a way that suggested he had watched Teal'c do it far too many times. 'You can help me?'

'You and I both know that you've made some political enemies over the years.' Simmons said. 'I can run interference. Be your inside man.'

Jack shook his head in disbelief. 'I've heard enough.'

'You shouldn't dismiss the offer so lightly, Colonel.' Simmons shifted position, turning to face Jack. 'You may blame me for every investigation and restriction placed on your team in recent months but the truth is I was following orders.'

'I'm sure you were.' Jack agreed. He had his suspicions about the source of those orders.

'Colonel,' Simmons chastised Jack patronisingly, 'you really don't think those orders were down to just one individual? We're five years into a war that you started and people are questioning the power you and your team have been given in deciding what is best for Earth, and they are taking measures to curtail it.'

'I seem to have heard this before.' Jack observed. Senator Kinsey had said the same thing to him.

'Well, I'm simply the messenger.' Simmons paused for what Jack determined was meant to be dramatic emphasis. 'But with me on your side, I can give you that power back.'

Jack smiled humourlessly and leaned over the table. 'I would rather work with a Goa'uld.'

There was a flash of anger that rippled over the calm features before Simmons controlled his expression. 'You're making a mistake.'

'I don't think so.' Jack got up.

'Everything I've done was to protect Earth.' Simmons argued. 'And please don't try to tell me you wouldn't have done the same; I've read your file, Colonel.'

Jack threw him a disgusted look as he made his way around the table. 'The only thing you're interested in, Simmons, is saving your own ass.'

Simmons' eyes glittered. 'This isn't over.'

'Yes.' Jack said clearly. 'It is.' He leaned down to whisper in Simmons' ear. 'And if you _ever_ threaten my team again, I will kill you.' He inched back and glared at the other man before straightening abruptly. He jerked his head at Simmons. 'Get him out of here.'

The SF stepped forward. Simmons didn't move; he remained in his seat, glowering at Jack. The SF reached for him and Simmons shrugged him off. He stood up. Jack didn't move despite the close proximity of the other man. He held Simmons' furious glare with one of his own.

Simmons walked out and Jack breathed a sigh of relief. He smoothed a hand over his face. He was tired. The concussion he had sustained in his escape from the planet a few days before still made his head ache. He spun on his heel and headed for the elevator. He had to report to Hammond.

The General's office was brightly lit and a hive of activity. The SGC had been temporarily evacuated while they had retrieved Teal'c given the small risk that they could have blown up the Stargate. Hammond was in the middle of signing a multitude of forms when Jack got to the open doorway and hovered.

Hammond glanced up and noticed him. He waved him in as he handed the forms back to the waiting Sergeant. 'Colonel.'

Jack closed the door to the corridor as the Sergeant simultaneously closed the door to the briefing room. It left them with the illusion of privacy.

'You met with Simmons.' Hammond stated, sinking into his leather chair in a way that suggested to Jack the General was as tired as Jack felt.

'I met him.' Jack agreed, taking the visitor's chair the General indicated gratefully.

Hammond nodded, his bald head catching the artificial light. 'What did he want?'

'What they always want; a deal.' Jack pressed his lips together. 'He believes that the evidence is flimsy and won't stick.'

'Your view?' Hammond asked seriously, lifting a hand from the arm of his chair.

'There's enough at the safe house to bury him.' Jack said confidently. 'If whoever ends up in charge of the investigation isn't just another dirtbag.'

'Well, that would be Agent Barrett.' Hammond informed him briskly. 'He lodged a complaint with his superiors against Simmons during the incident with Martin Lloyd, claiming Simmons was attempting to unduly influence the mission.' He grimaced. 'And given Agent Barrett was also less than complimentary about our involvement, I believe he's being seen as a neutral party.'

Jack sighed. It could have been worse, he guessed.

Hammond's pale blue eyes narrowed on him sharply. 'Something else bothering you, Colonel?'

Jack sighed. He never could fool Hammond. 'Simmons was right about one thing; he's only the monkey.'

'And the organ player remains at large.' Hammond nodded slowly. He pursed his lips. 'I've debated whether I should share the evidence against Senator Kinsey with Agent Barrett when he arrives to take custody of Simmons.'

Jack tilted his head as he examined Hammond's expression. 'You've decided against it.'

'Yes.' Hammond made a face. 'In all probability, this investigation into Simmons is likely to turn up evidence against the Senator without us getting involved.'

Jack nodded. Politically it would be better for the SGC to keep its hands clean. 'Simmons said we don't have many political friends.'

Hammond's eyebrows lifted at the observation. 'He's right about that.' He grimaced. 'People have listened to Simmons, and while he may be discredited, it may take some time to undo the damage.'

It wasn't what Jack wanted to hear but he knew Hammond wanted to be honest with him. It was slightly disheartening to know that the threat to his team from his own government might still exist.

'How's Teal'c?' Hammond asked, changing the subject much to Jack's appreciation.

'He's fine. The Doc has suggested he report back to her in the morning just to do another check that staying in the Stargate buffer hasn't caused any problems.' Jack reported crisply. 'He's retired to his quarters to kel nowhatsit.'

'And Major Carter and Doctor Jackson?' Hammond inquired.

'I've ordered them to bed.' Jack stopped suddenly realising how his statement sounded. 'Separately. To bed. To rest.' Hammond's lips twitched and Jack stumbled to another halt. He waved his hand vaguely at the General. 'Obviously.'

'Obviously.' Hammond echoed. 'Perhaps you should get some rest yourself, Colonel.'

Jack heard the unspoken dismissal and stood up. 'Thank you, sir. I think I'll do that.'

'And Colonel?' Hammond caught Jack just as he placed his hand on the door handle.

Jack looked back at him questioningly.

'Monkey or not, we won today, Colonel.' Hammond said clearly. 'Simmons will be going away for a long time.'

'Yes, sir.' Jack pulled the door open with a smile. Maybe they still had their enemies but the General was right; they had won and that was worth celebrating.

o-O-o

It wasn't fair.

Rodney McKay frowned heavily as the Russian army jeep jerked to a halt in front of another nondescript building and the heavy set soldier indicated for him to follow. McKay scrambled out. He hoisted the duffel bag he had hastily packed over his shoulder and staggered after the disappearing driver. He shivered. He was used to cold temperatures but Russia seemed to have its own thermostat and it was one stuck on very cold. Very, very cold.

It wasn't fair, McKay thought again sulkily, as they traipsed through one dull corridor after another and he tried to ignore the apprehension that had his stomach tied in knots and his heart pounding. He was having palpitations, he was sure of it. And it was all Samantha Carter's fault; the Air Force's Wonder Woman only without the cool outfit.

Just because he had dared to disagree with her findings; had dared to question her – in McKay's opinion – very questionable judgement, he had ended up in the middle of the middle of nowhere. The flight might have landed in Moscow but he had been quickly shuffled into another waiting plane and flown somewhere else. Somewhere cold and unappealing. Probably with horrendous food.

His footsteps slowed suddenly as the thought occurred to him that it could be a Russian prison. Oh God. They had sent him to a Russian prison and he was so dead. He couldn't survive prison, McKay thought panicking. He couldn't…

The soldier opened a door and ushered McKay into a spartan office. The desk was piled high with papers and folders; the shelves stacked with reference books and material McKay recognised from his own studies. He jumped as the door closed behind him.

He was alone. Evidently, he was supposed to wait in the office. Screw that, McKay thought furiously. He was leaving before he got put in some cell with a Russian Mafia goon called Victor who'd want to make him his…and he wasn't even going to complete that thought. He whirled around and opened the door.

The soldier stared back at him from across the corridor.

'Hi.' McKay smiled weakly. 'Just checking to see if you were, you know, there.' He closed the door and sank into the uncomfortable wooden chair more because his knees wouldn't hold him up anymore than for any other reason.

'This is bad.' McKay muttered, dumping the bag on the thin carpet beside him and dropping his head into his hands. 'I am _so_ screwed.'

And all because of Samantha Carter. Damn her and her sexy blonde hair. What was worse was that she seemed to have everybody fooled but him. She was probably sleeping with that Colonel she'd been sat beside in the last briefing they'd had. Or maybe she just wasn't into men, McKay thought defensively. She seemed to have taken an irrational dislike to him. He'd tried, hadn't he? He'd tried to be nice to her. He was a nice guy, after all. He had tried to share his scientific findings – findings based on fact not the half-assed mumbo-jumbo guesswork she seemed to use, and what had he got in return? An unwanted trip to Russia.

He guessed he could have resigned; that thought had crossed his mind maybe, oh, just a hundred times on the flight but he wasn't certain the Air Force wouldn't hunt him down and shoot him given his knowledge of the Stargate. Maybe a life on the run would have been preferable.

The door opened behind him and he jumped. He stumbled as he got to his feet, upending the chair that landed with a clatter on the floor. He righted it and found himself face to face with a dark haired, dark eyed woman. She thrust a hand at him.

'Svetlana Markov.' She smiled tightly.

McKay shook her hand nervously, aware that his palm was damp. 'Doctor Rodney McKay.'

'Welcome to Russia, Doctor.' Markov said, her accent lending an exotic tone to the words. She gestured at the chair as she closed the door again. 'Please. Sit.'

McKay sat back down obediently. He watched as she gracefully navigated the office to sit down behind the overflowing desk, tucking her white lab coat around her. He'd caught a glimpse of a brown suede skirt, knee high leather boots and blue turtleneck as she had walked past him.

Nice.

Understatedly sexy.

If he went for brunettes.

'I've read your work.' Markov said leaning forward.

'You…you have?' McKay stuttered. His brain suddenly jumped into gear. Markov. Doctor Svetlana Markov. Renowned Russian scientist. She had been the liaison when the Russian Stargate operation had been discovered. 'Me too.' He blurted out. He motioned at her. 'I mean, I've read your work.'

'Firstly, I should inform you that the plan has worked and the Jaffa Teal'c has been successfully reintegrated.'

'Really?' McKay's eyes widened. 'And he was fine? You know; not dead?'

'He was very much alive.'

'Damn it.' McKay muttered under his breath. Teal'c was fine and the Stargate hadn't blown up. Did Samantha Carter have to be right about everything? None of it made any kind of scientific sense and…he looked up and saw the blatant curiosity on Markov's face at his reaction. He drew himself up as much as he could in the hard wooden seat and smiled weakly. 'I mean, that's good news obviously. For Teal'c.'

Markov looked at him intently. 'You seem surprised.'

'I am.' McKay admitted. 'The laws of thermodynamics would suggest that…'

'Teal'c's energy pattern should have degraded beyond viability.' Markov concluded smoothly. 'I admit I thought much the same.' She smiled at his astonished expression.

McKay pointed at her. 'You thought that too?'

'Of course.' Markov shrugged in the way of Europeans when dismissing something as unimportant. 'It would seem Major Carter was correct in her theory that the Stargate crystals do not correspond to the laws of physics as we currently know them.'

'Theory.' McKay said derisively. 'It was complete guesswork. It had no basis in facts.'

'Possibly not.' Markov agreed mildly. 'But perhaps Major Carter needed to believe her theory was correct given the circumstances. I observed during my time with them that SG1 is very much a family. Teal'c is like a brother to her and I am certain she feared his loss as she would any family member.'

McKay felt his conscience twinge. He'd assumed SG1 was just a team like the few he had worked in; colleagues working together to a common goal. The thought that they might be close; have bonds beyond their working relationship hadn't crossed his mind. McKay had a sister; if it had been Jeannie trapped in the Stargate…he shifted uncomfortably. He wouldn't have been able to stand the thought that she might die. If that was how the Major felt about her team mate…he winced as he recalled his blunt observation in the cafeteria that Teal'c was already probably dead. No wonder she had reacted so violently. In fact, it explained a lot. Why she had disliked him. Why she had dismissed his theories. His behaviour must have seemed crass, callous even, to her. He'd practically taunted her with Teal'c's demise and crowed in her face that it was her faulty gate programming that was responsible. Maybe he had deserved to be sent to Russia after all, McKay thought morosely, as guilt began to drown out the fear in his belly.

'Yes, well, emotions have no place in science.' McKay said out loud.

'Perhaps but I consider Major Carter's intuition to be something of an asset to her. She is a brilliant scientist, no?' Markov replied.

'No.' McKay saw her startled face and gestured furiously. 'I mean, yes. Yes, she's OK, I suppose.' Brilliant, his mind argued back. Markov was right. There might be more things wrong than right with Carter's dialling programme but that she had managed to get it to work at all was brilliant. Not to mention all the other things he'd read in reports; cool things like designing the X302 that was under construction at Area 51, or blowing up a sun. _He_ wanted to blow up a sun, McKay thought sulkily. 'I guess you're disappointed she hasn't been assigned to work with you.'

Markov smiled. 'As much as I would have liked the opportunity to work with Major Carter again, I did not anticipate that she would be assigned given her position on SG1.'

'Of course not.' McKay said sarcastically.

'I take it you did not volunteer for this assignment?' Markov asked delicately.

McKay's chin went up. 'Not exactly.' He fidgeted with the button on his jacket. 'But I think you'll find that I am the most qualified to help you set up your naquadah generator programme. I've done extensive research in the area.'

'I am pleased to hear that.' Markov said dryly. She sat back in her chair and folded her hands over her stomach. 'This facility is classified. I believe you would consider it the equivalent of your Area 51,' she smirked at his expression, 'please. Do not bother to deny its existence.' She waved a hand at the wall. 'You will report to me. I understand that you will need to report your activities to the United States Air Force also but you will no doubt understand that your communications will be monitored. We have set up a lab for you, along with two technicians and a translator. Your translator will be with you a month after which time you will be expected to know enough Russian to survive.'

'You…you want me to learn Russian?' McKay spluttered.

'You are in Russia.' Markov shot back. She stood up. 'You will start tomorrow. Report to this office at seven and I will show you to your lab and introduce you.' She walked around to the door and opened it, gesturing at the soldier outside. 'You will want to rest and get something to eat now. Sergei will show you to your quarters and to the cafeteria.'

McKay staggered to his feet. 'Right. Well, thank you.' He picked up his duffle bag and followed after Sergei.

It was a research facility; he was going to have a lab, and he got to work with Markov. McKay swallowed nervously. It still sucked but maybe it sucked less than sharing a cell with a Russian goon named Victor. And maybe one day, McKay thought sincerely, he'd have a second chance to show Samantha Carter he was just as brilliant as she was; one day.

o-O-o

Jack's sixth sense prickled as he pushed the baked potatoes in the oven. It was too early for the rest of SG1 to arrive for the team barbeque he had insisted on holding to celebrate. He tensed; his entire body registering some kind of threat. He listened intently as he opened the kitchen drawer and took out his gun. He loaded it silently and eased down the hallway and out onto the deck with the same stealth that had served him well in his black ops days.

Maybourne looked up from the bench as though startled although Jack knew better. 'Hi, Jack.' The words were mumbled through a burger – Jack's burger – the one he'd fried off early because he was hungry. Maybourne waved the burger. ''s good.'

Jack placed the gun in full view of Maybourne on the table and sat down. 'What are you doing here, Harry?' Harry had disappeared from the safe house when the SGC tactical team had shown up. Jack had trusted that he would disappear back into the netherworld Harry seemed to exist in.

Maybourne wiped his mouth with a paper napkin and smiled. 'It's good to see you too, Jack.'

Jack glared at him.

'Relax, Jack. I came to give you a present.' Maybourne reached into a bag and brought out a bottle of champagne. He handed it over to Jack.

Jack's eyebrows creeped up as he registered the label; it was a very expensive bottle of champagne. He looked back at Maybourne. 'I'm more of a beer man myself.'

Maybourne laughed. 'That's why I like you, Jack.' His pale eyes glittered. 'I hear Simmons got transferred to Area 51 today.'

Jack shrugged and put the bottle down on the table.

'Warms my heart.' Maybourne added.

'He's going to be locked up for a very long time.' Jack conceded. He tapped the table and pointed at the former Colonel. 'Thanks to you.' He admitted grudgingly.

Maybourne gestured back at Jack. 'And you. We make a good team.'

'I try not to think about that.' Jack murmured. He frowned. 'Why are you here again, Harry?'

Maybourne sighed. 'I also came to warn you; don't underestimate Simmons, Jack. I trained him myself.'

Jack's eyes narrowed on him. 'You said it yourself; there was enough incriminating evidence to bury him in prison for a long time.'

'There is.' Maybourne said agreeably and Jack suddenly got the feeling that Maybourne had been partially responsible for a large part of that evidence being so readily available. 'But that doesn't mean Simmons doesn't have some kind of plan.' He paused. 'I could still take care of him for you, Jack. It would be a pleasure.'

'And once again,' Jack retorted, 'I'm going to forget you said that.' If it came down to it, he would take care of Simmons himself. He winced. Maybe he had more in common with Maybourne than he cared to admit.

The doorbell rang. Jack looked at Maybourne.

Maybourne gestured at him as he picked up the half-eaten burger again. 'Aren't you going to answer that?'

Jack sighed and snatched up his gun as he made his way back inside. He yanked open the door and gestured the rest of SG1 inside, oblivious to their startled faces as he hurried back to the deck.

It was empty.

Daniel cleared his throat. 'Uh, Jack?' He pointed gingerly at the gun Jack was holding.

'Maybourne was here.' Jack said defensively as he put the gun down. He gestured at the champagne. 'He brought us a present.'

'A present.' Daniel picked up the champagne. His blue eyes were brimming with amusement as he reached for the bottle. He shot a look at Carter who seemed to be struggling not to laugh much to Jack's disgust. Daniel waggled his eyebrows. 'Is there something you want to tell us, Jack?'

Teal'c's eyebrow had already disappeared beneath his baseball cap.

'Funny, Daniel.' Jack snatched the bottle out of Daniel's hands. 'What'd you say I put this on ice and we start with beer?' He took his gun and escaped back into the kitchen.

o-O-o

The sound of the cork popping was loud and abrasive. It shattered the silence of the evening twilight. Teal'c watched as his team mates placed glasses hurriedly beneath the green bottle to catch the sparkling golden liquid before it fell on the wooden deck. It foamed up in the narrow glasses much to their amusement.

Sometimes the behaviour of humans was weird, Teal'c considered solemnly as O'Neill coaxed him into taking a small glass with the words that he couldn't not have a glass when they began the toasts. After so many years of living with the Tau'ri, Teal'c assumed O'Neill meant speeches rather than the slices of bread often consumed at breakfast but one could never be sure with the military man.

He felt a surge of homesickness for Chulak and his own kind. He considered SG1 his family; his kin. He loved each of his team mates fiercely and he would die for them. He had learned of everything they had done when he had unknowingly been stuck in the Stargate, and he appreciated all their efforts. But there were times when he longed for someone who understood the Jaffa ways. Someone who would understand the significance of what he had achieved in killing Tanith.

Sho'nac could finally be at peace. Her death at Tanith's hands had been avenged. It filled Teal'c with satisfaction and remembered grief at her loss. He had loved her. He had loved her more than any other woman including his estranged ex-wife, Drey'auc. Killing Tanith had helped restore his honour; honour he had lost when he had allowed Tanith to kill Sho'nac, when he had allowed Tanith to escape, when he had allowed Apophis to brainwash him.

Teal'c blinked at the setting sun. Such a strange orange colour as it lowered beyond the horizon. It was the wrong colour and shape; not the sun of his birth.

Daniel sat beside him on the railing and nudged his arm gently. The archaeologist raised his glass. 'To Sho'nac.'

Teal'c started in surprise. Perhaps he had been mistaken. Perhaps there was someone who did understand. The compassion in the other man's eyes reminded Teal'c that he was not the only one who had lost the woman he loved.

Jack followed Daniel. 'To Sho'nac.'

'To Sho'nac.' Sam added her voice.

'To Sho'nac.' Teal'c raised his own glass and the others gently tapped it. They took a sip of the liquid and Teal'c did the same. The liquid fizzed and hissed on his tongue. His face screwed up and he glared at his drink.

Jack reached over and plucked the glass from Teal'c's hands. He threw the champagne onto the grass and replaced the alcohol with the ginger ale Teal'c preferred. 'Here.'

'Thank you, O'Neill.' Teal'c bowed his head in gratitude.

'Who's next?' Jack demanded, gesturing with his glass wildly enough that the champagne slopped over the edge and onto his hand. Jack swore and licked his skin clean of the sticky droplets.

'To Maybourne.' Sam grinned cheekily at Jack's outraged expression. 'He does have good taste in champagne, sir.'

'And he helped get Simmons locked up.' Daniel added. 'And to save Teal'c.' He used his champagne glass to motion at Teal'c and ended up sloshing most of it over the deck. Teal'c considered that the move had been deliberate.

Jack shook his head although his brown eyes were twinkling with amusement. 'To Maybourne.'

'Maybourne.' They chorused.

Perhaps, Teal'c considered gravely, Maybourne had redeemed his earlier behaviour.

'Your turn, Teal'c.' Jack waved

Teal'c lowered his glass thoughtfully. 'I have not yet had a chance to thank you all for securing my successful return.'

'Any time, Teal'c.' Jack waved away his thanks.

'The Colonel's right.' Sam said, patting Teal'c's arm. 'We're just glad you're back.

'And in one piece.' Daniel added.

Neither Sam nor Jack could hide their grins as Teal'c glowered at Daniel briefly. His expression softened though as the archaeologist held up his hands in surrender.

'I could not have returned without your diplomatic efforts in Russia, Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c murmured.

Daniel blushed but accepted the thanks with a nod of his head.

'Nor your successful discovery of the Goa'uld.' Teal'c turned to Jack.

'I'm just glad we finally have that snake behind bars.' Jack glanced at Sam who ducked her head. The topic of Adrian Conrad still had the ability to upset her.

'And Major Carter.' Teal'c waited until she looked at him, her bright blue eyes smiling again. 'I wish to thank you for being a certifiable whackjob.'

They all burst out laughing.

'To being a certifiable whackjob.' Jack echoed brightly.

Their glasses clinked loudly.

'I still can't believe McKay called you that.' Daniel wiped the champagne from the edges of his lips.

Sam's lips twisted. 'I preferred it to dumb blonde.'

'He called you that and lived?' Jack whistled. 'He was a braver man than I gave him credit for.'

'Maybe we're all certifiable,' Daniel said thoughtfully, 'I think you have to be to walk through the Stargate; to do what we do.'

'Indeed.' Teal'c murmured.

'Maybe.' Sam conceded. She sipped her champagne.

Jack shrugged unconcerned. 'That's what makes us great, right?'

Teal'c inclined his head as Sam and Daniel smiled back at their team leader. Teal'c raised his glass in the fading light. 'To SG1.'

The others raised their glasses eagerly and the clash of crystal jangled out across the yard as their voices carried their joined toast: 'To SG1.'


	15. NeverEnding Cycle

**Author's Note:** Some suggestion of Elliot/Hailey. Daniel/Teal'c friendship. Mention of Sam/Jolinar/Martouf/Lantash. Mild Sam/Jack UST.

**Summit/Last Stand Recap:** _Osiris meets with Zipacna; Zippy suggests an alliance between Osiris and a powerful Goa'uld called Anubis. _

_Ren-al of the Tok'ra arrives at the SGC. She briefs the team noting that the Systems Lords who have been fighting between themselves but have declared a truce and are meeting together. The Tok'ra note that they intend taking out the Systems Lords in one swoop and their plan involves sending Daniel in as a Goa'uld human slave. Teal'c meets with Daniel and notes that Daniel has often said he'd prefer another option to killing, Daniel says he can't see another option which is why he'll do it._

_SG1 and SG17 with newest member Elliot, go to Revanna, the Tok'ra base. They meet with Jacob. Jacob notes that Daniel will go in as Yu's lotar. He will fool Yu with the Reole solution. Once he is on the space station where the System Lords are meeting, he will deploy a poison that will kill the symbiotes; unfortunately the hosts will also die. Jacob notes Daniel's unease and assures him that the hosts would likely not survive without their symbiotes given their age and sarcophagus experiences. Jack questions Jacob who tells him that this strike will leave a power vacuum which will allow the Tok'ra to wipe out the Goa'uld. However, Zippy knows about the poison and as Osiris is sent to the System Lords, Zippy heads to the Tok'ra._

_Daniel and Jacob travel to Yu's homeworld. Daniel is struggling with his mission and tells Jacob he's think the plan is sketchy especially as the Tok'ra plan involves wholesale genocide of the Jaffa unless they can find a way to reverse the Jaffa's dependence on the Goa'uld. Daniel is given a ring with the Reole solution and told to tell Yu he is his loyal servant Jarren._

_Ren-al talks with Sam; Martouf is dead and Lantash has been saved. Ren-al assures Sam that Martouf lives on in Lantash and that Martouf would have preferred Lantash to be saved rather than to risk the symbiote._

_As Daniel manages to convince Yu that he is Jarren, Ren-al tells SG1 that they have detected a Goa'uld fleet on its way to Revanna. The Goa'uld have blocked the gate and they are all trapped. Yu tells Daniel not to trust anyone; the System Lords nor their slaves. SG17 and SG1 help the Tok'ra create new tunnels to mitigate the risk of collapse. Ren-al cuts out the power so the tunnels are undetectable. Ren-al notes that Selmak has the only quantity of the poison. _

_Daniel eavesdrops on a conversation between Ba'al and Yu where they note all the System Lords have suffered at the hands of an unknown assailant. Meanwhile the attack on Revanna continues. The tunnels are being bombarded. Mansfield and the rest of SG17 are caught in a tunnel collapse. SG1 goes to find them. Elliot and a badly injured Mansfield manage to get out with the Tok'ra Aldwin. Ren-al downloads the formula for the poison into a crystal while Jack, Teal'c and Aldwin go to see what is happening on the surface. A bombardment buries Sam, Ren-al and the remaining members of SG17. When Jack can't raise Sam they head back._

_At the Goa'uld, Daniel holds off using the poison while a final guest turns up; it is Osiris. Daniel quickly hides his face but when Yu calls for Jarren he has to give away his presence. _

_On Revanna, the Tok'ra and Zippy's Jaffa are fighting in the tunnels. Aldwin dies after a bad fall under glider fire. Jack and Teal'c hide in the forest. In the lab, Sam wakes; she had attempted to protect Mansfield but he's dead and she takes his dog tags. Ren-al is also dead and Sam takes the crystal with the poison formula. She checks on Elliot – he is severely injured but alive; Lantash's stasis chamber was destroyed and he jumped into the young lieutenant. Elliot is scared. Sam reassures him that the symbiote is trying to heal him. Jack and Teal'c meet up with Sam and Elliot; they try to head for the surface. On Yu's ship, Osiris confronts Daniel but he manages to prick her with the Reole solution. Jack and Teal'c go back to the lab to get crystals to make tunnels leaving Sam and Elliot._

_At the summit, Osiris tells the System Lords that she is representing Anubis which causes a stir and Daniel holds off on the poison telling Jacob about Anubis – if they kill the Systems Lords then they allow Anubis to take over without resistance. Daniel overhears Osiris also tell Yu that Anubis intends to destroy Earth in violation of the protected planets treaty with the Asgard. Back on Revanna, Elliot tells Sam that Lantash loves her and that she shouldn't blame herself for Martouf's death before Jack and Teal'c are able to join them again and they continue to evade Zippy's Jaffa. They eventually come up with a plan to change the Tok'ra transmitters which are sending a warning signal to send a plea for help. _

_The System Lords eat a vat of young Goa'uld symbiotes and Daniel foolishly tries to befriend another slave. Osiris tells the System Lords that Anubis is moving against the Tok'ra. Daniel contacts Jacob and tells him the news; he has a plan to steal Yu's cargo ship and fly it out of the shield hopefully after capturing Osiris. However, the slave Daniel tried to befriend betrays him and his plan goes astray. He barely manages to get into an escape pod as Osiris and Yu fight. Jacob picks him up and they head back to Revanna._

_Elliot is getting worse but manages to tell Sam how to change the Tok'ra sensor. Jacob picks up an alert which tells them the base is compromised and to assume no survivors. But Sam manages to complete her work and they pick up the new signal – a SOS. But as they go into rescue them, gliders hit the cargo ship and it crash lands. The rest of SG1 see the crash. Daniel and Jacob survive. They all meet up. _

_They debate their options and Elliot along with Lantash offers to sacrifice themselves; they are dying and won't survive. The others should hide; the Jaffa will take Elliot to the base by the Stargate and Elliot will then set off the poison. Jack isn't happy with the plan but he knows there is no other way. Elliot tells Sam that Lantash is happy he got to tell her how he feels and she promises not to forget him. Jacob gently moves her away to hide and Jack gives Elliot one final nod of approval as they leave him to enact the plan._

**Never-Ending Cycle**

**Part I: Twilight**

It felt strange to be in another host; to be without Martouf. The human boy he occupied – and he was a boy to Lantash despite the fact that he fought for the Tau'ri, was failing. Lantash could feel his host's fear of death, the panic and terror edging into his thoughts as the Jaffa carried the make-shift stretcher closer to the base camp.

_Be calm_, Lantash comforted him. _You die well._

_I would rather not die at all_, Elliot thought back.

Lantash laughed. He believed he could have liked this host. He felt another wave of grief for Martouf.

_You miss him_, Elliot noted wearily.

_Yes._ How could he not miss him? Martouf was a part of him; the other half of his self.

Elliot's internal emotion was shaded with shame. _I never thought of it like that._

_It is difficult for those who don't know our ways_, Lantash replied diplomatically. He had felt the full force of Elliot's distaste for being occupied by a symbiote the moment he had taken possession. He felt a wash of guilt; he had not thought, he had simply acted instinctively and taken the young boy. In the end was he any better than Jolinar, he wondered. Yet Elliot's distaste had lessened and with every hour they spent bonded, Lantash could feel it giving way to gratitude and, since they had both come to the realisation that they would not physically survive, disappointment. Lantash was disappointed too; he felt a raw edge of independence in Elliot that he had never experienced before.

Images of a carefree childhood; of running across an open field for the sheer fun of it with childhood friends, of laughter at a birthday party with loving parents encouraging him to blow out small burning sticks on a dessert, of watching his sister marry, of his pride in achieving a place in the SGC…Lantash wished he had more time to share them with Elliot; understand each memory and what it meant to the young man.

Elliot knew what it was to live without the shadow of the Goa'uld; to know freedom. It made Lantash heady; giddy. It was no wonder Selmak so enjoyed her union with Jacob, he mused.

The thought of Jacob inevitably brought with it the thought of Samantha Carter. He guarded the thoughts feeling Elliot's discomfort. Samantha was a senior officer to Elliot; someone he admired but who he had never dared to consider beyond that despite a surface acknowledgement that she was an attractive woman.

Lantash loved her. He feared he had fallen in love with her long before Martouf had been able to see Samantha as more than the former host of their deceased mate, Jolinar. Perhaps he considered, it had happened that first day when Martouf had been too upset to continue talking with Samantha and had left Lantash to explain about their bond with Jolinar. He had always made the distinction between Samantha and the symbiote who she had unwillingly hosted. After their mission to Netu, he and Martouf had spent time reconciling their feelings for both Jolinar and Samantha; they had grieved for one love and realised another. Just as Martouf had first loved Jolinar and Lantash had followed, Lantash had first loved Samantha and Martouf had followed. They had never had the opportunity to tell her – not truly – not before they had been forced to ask her to kill them…to save them.

_She knows how you feel_, Elliot said softly.

Lantash pulled himself out of his morose thoughts and accepted the comfort. _Yes. And I thank you that I had the chance to tell her. _

Elliot shrugged inwardly. _I've never loved anyone the way you love her. You're sacrificing your life to save hers._

_As are you. _Lantash pointed out.

_I'm doing this so my death means something._ There was a tinge of anger, of bitterness to the words. Lantash remembered his conversation with Samantha in the collapsed tunnel; of dying on his first mission. He soothed Elliot mentally. _It will mean that they all will survive. They can warn Earth and the Tok'ra of what happened here. Our death will have meaning._

_That's all I want_, Elliot said bleakly. A flood of sadness pulled at Lantash; images of his host's parents; his sister with a rounded belly – a child Elliot would not live to see. Elliot was sad because they would grieve and he would miss them.

_I'm so tired_, Elliot's thought was nothing more than a whisper and Lantash knew his host was weakening, the injuries were too great.

_Stay with me_, Lantash instructed gently; _stay with me just a while longer._ He took control and opened Elliot's eyes. The tents of the base camp were around them and his body began to tingle as they approached the Stargate; the recognition of naquadah. They could soon deploy the symbiote poison that Daniel Jackson had given them, complete their mission and save the others.

Lantash accepted his fate. _We are almost there._

o-O-o

_We are almost there. _

The thought echoed in Elliot's mind. Soon; soon it would be over. He was scared. Deep down scared in a way that made his stomach quiver and his knees weak. He was trying to hide it from Lantash even though a part of him knew it was hopeless to do so; the symbiote felt everything he did, heard his thoughts plainly.

He didn't want to die. He didn't want to die so far from home, from Earth. He found himself wishing helplessly for his parents; for the comforting arms of his mother and the strength of his father's belief in him. He wanted them so badly he craved them. A tear leaked from his eye and he felt Lantash close them rather than reveal his weakness to the Jaffa. At least he had the comfort that the Colonel would deliver his last message to them. The SG1 team leader had agreed to send Major Carter on ahead when Elliot had given her Lantash's instructions on how to change the Tok'ra warning signal. Elliot had stopped the Colonel after they had been marching a while…

'_Colonel.' Elliot croaked the word._

_The stretcher was immediately placed on the ground and the Colonel kneeled beside him._

'_You OK, Elliot?' O'Neill looked at him warily and Elliot knew it was because of Lantash._

'_I need,' Elliot wet his lips and began again, 'I need to give you a message for my parents, sir.'_

'_Elliot.' O'Neill looked away briefly before looking back at Elliot, his brown eyes blazing with fierce intensity. 'You're going to make it…'_

'_No, sir.' Elliot interrupted. 'I'm not.'_

'_I'm not having this conversation with you, Lieutenant.' O'Neill said forcefully. 'Just…' he waved at him, 'focus on living. We'll get you out of this.'_

'_Sir, please.' Elliot didn't know how else to argue with his CO. _

_O'Neill sighed and Elliot took that as permission._

'_Tell my parents…tell them I loved them very much, sir. That I hope I made them proud. And tell my sister that I hope she doesn't name the baby after me.' Elliot coughed. 'That's it.'_

_The blunt edge of a water bottle was placed against his lips and he drank greedily. O'Neill removed it when Elliot was done. _

'_Promise me, you'll…'_

'_I promise, Lieutenant.' O'Neill placed his hand on Elliot's shoulder. 'But I'm going to be severely pissed if you die, you got that?'_

_Elliot gave a half-hearted laugh. 'I don't think you can order me to live, sir.'_

_O'Neill's grave features twisted in denial. He gestured. 'How's the whole snake in your head thing going?'_

'_Weird, sir.' Elliot admitted. 'But it's not so bad.'_

_The Colonel looked at him in disbelief but he got to his feet. 'We have to move out.'_

_He was worried about the Major, Elliot surmised. The Colonel had been unhappy at breaking the team up even if he had agreed with her position that she could find the transmitter quicker on her own. He figured the Colonel wanted to stay close enough behind her so he and Teal'c could provide her with back-up if she needed it. _

'_Yes, sir.' Elliot agreed. He was done. The Colonel would keep his promise…_

The jolt of the stretcher being placed on the ground brought Elliot jarringly back to the present. He felt Lantash open his eyes again; saw the Stargate in front of them. It was a beautiful sight.

He had conceded control to the symbiote a while back. He couldn't feel his body any longer; his legs were numb, he feared there had been some kind of spinal injury when the lab had been hit. He barely felt the poison vial secreted in his hand. But he knew Lantash could make his body work where he could not so he had let the symbiote have control.

The symbiote.

He liked Lantash. He reminded him of his grandfather; wise, steady and reassuring. There had been a few hours of hope when he had been initially injured just after joining and Elliot could remember thinking that maybe he didn't mind the joining after all; maybe he wouldn't mind it continuing beyond the healing. It was weird – there was no getting around how weird it was suddenly having the knowledge of so many other lifetimes crammed into his head. So many memories; of Martouf, of Jolinar – of the life they had shared as mates.

He blushed anew and was just furiously pleased that nothing of that nature had happened with Major Carter. It was strange feeling such an overwhelming sense of love for her; love that Lantash had for her. He knew it comforted Lantash to know he saved her with their final act. Images poured through him; Elliot could remember holding hands with her…staring into her eyes with a staff weapon pointed at his head…of begging her to kill him…but it wasn't him; it had been Martouf and Lantash.

And there, again, was Lantash's grief at the loss of his previous host. Maybe it wouldn't have been bad assuming a life as a Tok'ra host. But it wasn't to be. Elliot knew he was too badly damaged and Lantash too weak. They had needed hours of careful rest and attention to heal properly as Selmak and Jacob had required; being carried through Tok'ra tunnels and trekked across miles of forest was not ideal.

Resentment surged through him again. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he was going to die. It was his first mission; his first time through the Stargate. He still wanted to live, to protect Earth, to join SG1 one day. And more, vague hopes of finding a love like Lantash had for Major Carter, of a family of his own. But all of that wasn't to be either; all of his hopes and dreams were gone like morning mist dissipating in the harsh glare of the sun. All he had left was this last stand; this final act so SG1 would make it home and there would be some warning.

His gaze rested on the Stargate. The grey ring of naquadah filled his vision; the blue sky beyond shimmered as though it was a wormhole beckoning to him. His fingers tightened on the vial, and as he pressed down and the chemicals began their mix, Elliot felt his vision blur and fade.

_Rest, now, James Thomas Elliot_, Lantash said solemnly; _our mission is complete_.

A sense of peace enfolded Elliot and washed away the fear. It was done. And so was he.

o-O-o

**Part II: Fade into Night**

Jack lowered the monocular. He had kept pace with the Jaffa when they had picked up Elliot. Someone had needed to ensure Elliot went through with the plan or to be a back up if something went wrong. Not only that, but the timing was going to be a nightmare. Once the poison hit and dissipated, the others would need to haul ass to the gate to leave and that meant having someone on point to tell them when. Jack had simply told the others it was going to be him. Jacob and Teal'c had been out given their symbiotes anyway; Daniel was far too conspicuous in the strange get-up he'd been dressed in and Carter…

She had protested and when he'd held firm, she had requested permission to accompany him. He had denied it. She was pissed but he couldn't do anything about that. He didn't doubt that she wouldn't allow her emotional connection to the symbiote that occupied Elliot to endanger the mission knowingly but she had been a mess when she had originally believed she had killed Martouf during the whole za'tarc thing and he preferred not to risk her Jolinar remnants making an appearance. Luckily, Jacob had been unable to confirm whether the poison would affect Carter given the protein marker and naquadah in her blood. She'd subsided after that. Jack hadn't wasted any more time debating it.

He had hidden and waited until the Jaffa had found Elliot; followed the Jaffa back to the base camp. Teal'c had been right; getting in undetected was almost impossible despite his years of covert surveillance. He had found a vantage point overlooking the camp. It had some cover, and he had scrambled into it, hiding himself with dirt, branches and leaves.

Jack raised the monocular again. He could see them lowering the stretcher in front of the Stargate. It wasn't right. The young Lieutenant had deserved better than for his first mission to go totally FUBAR. Bad enough that the Goa'uld had attacked; bad enough that Elliot had lost his team; bad enough that he'd gotten snaked even if it was a Tok'ra…Jack winced. Bad enough that Elliot was going to die to give them a chance to live.

He hated losing people. Hated it. It was the worst part of the job. Commanding meant sending people into battle; into war. Sometimes they came home; a lot of the time they didn't. Jack knew that was the way it was. His jaw tensed. It didn't mean that he had to like it though and he hated it most when they lost someone like Elliot; young and full of promise. The Lieutenant had the makings of a fine officer; he needed seasoning, toughening up, experience to guard against the over-thinking. Elliot wouldn't ever achieve that though; wouldn't ever grow into the man and soldier he could become.

Such a waste, Jack thought sadly. Yet he was proud of Elliot. The Lieutenant had coped admirably with the mission all things considered. He had kept his head up during the initial bombardments; helped Mansfield. He'd stayed conscious and ensured he'd relayed the information from Lantash that they needed to escape the tunnels and change the transmitter message. And Elliot's last act was one of heroism; it took courage and bravery to face death.

Jack pulled a face. He had agreed to deliver Elliot's last message for his family and it was a promise he would keep. He dreaded it. He knew only too well what it felt like to lose a child; to see the promise of that child gone forever. A parent never recovered no matter what the circumstance. Life would go on but with a part of it constantly missing; constantly aching.

Moreover, his heart had sank when Elliot had made the request because Jack knew it was fine line between accepting the reality that death was inevitable and giving up. But as much as Jack had wanted to deny it he'd known if Elliot was going to survive the symbiote would have already healed him. His lips twisted. Carter had been vague about how Lantash had got into Elliot and he rather suspected he didn't want to know the detail. Maybe the symbiote had been trying to do the right thing; maybe. Jack knew Selmak had saved Jacob, and Jack had liked Marty enough to give Lantash the benefit of the doubt but his mind kept creeping back to Carter's experience with Jolinar. He shook himself slightly. There was a part of Jack that couldn't lose the suspicion that when it came right down to it the Tok'ra were still snakes.

A sudden cry from the camp grabbed Jack's attention and he hastily yanked his attention back to the mission. The sight through the monocular was grotesque; the Jaffa were falling, clutching their bellies where the Goa'uld pouch resided. Jack checked on Elliot. The Lieutenant was perfectly still. He'd gone. Jack didn't know how he knew, he just did. Elliot was dead and he was taking the Jaffa army with him.

Jack lowered the monocular and huddled into the ground. Two gliders appeared early on; descending out of the sky like metal eagles. They buzzed the camp and left. The Goa'uld checking on what had happened on the ground probably when he lost contact, Jack surmised. He hoped the evidence that the poison had been used would force him to leave. The Goa'uld couldn't be certain how long the poison would last after all. Jack didn't know how many more hours passed. He listened as the moans and cries grew as the poison spread; as the Jaffas' lives seeped away with the loss of their symbiotes. It seemed like forever until the camp was silent.

He raised the monocular. The bodies of the Jaffa littered the camp. There was an eerie silence and a shiver ran through him. He hated biological warfare. There was something insidious about killing people so easily.

Jack reached for his radio. 'Carter; this is O'Neill. Come in.'

'Sir.'

'Area looks clear. What does Jacob say about the life span of this thing?' Jack said briskly.

There was a brief pause – she was probably conferring with her father, Jack mused.

'Carter.'

'Sir, Selmak is certain we should be OK to proceed to the gate.' Carter radioed back.

'Roger that. I'll clear the way.' Jack signed off and made his way cautiously into the camp. Dead bodies were everywhere. It was a massacre. It was just one more nightmare to add to the others. He kept his gun poised and kept alert just in case. But nothing moved; nothing stirred.

Jack felt his skin crawling; a primal urgency shooting through him to leave. He pushed it down and focused on the job. It didn't take him long to get to the Stargate. He knelt beside Elliot.

There was a grey cast to Eliot's cold skin; his eyes were lifeless. Jack reached out and gently closed them. He snagged Elliot's dog tags and took them. As much as he wanted to take Elliot home, they couldn't risk it between the presence of the symbiote and the poison. Jack sighed. Elliot had deserved better. Elliot's parents deserved better than to bury an empty box. He got to his feet and headed for the DHD to wait for the others.

o-O-o

Teal'c was exactly where Daniel had suspected he would be; on the top of the mountain watching the sunset. The Jaffa sat away from the door, crossed legged on the grass. His back was straight; his face turned away to the sun. There was a solemnity about Teal'c; a reverence in the way that he watched the colours bleed across the sky. He seemed undisturbed by the cold chill that had traced goose-bumps across the dark skin of his naked forearms; the way the moisture from the grass seeped into his heavy BDU pants.

Daniel didn't speak. He dropped to sit beside his team mate without a word. He focused on the sunset. On the orange ball falling into the horizon leaving behind streaks of pink and red as the sky shifted from blue to violet.

For the first time since they had arrived back through the wormhole, worn and heart-sore, with not only the failure of the mission to report but the destruction of Revanna, the loss of a SG team, and the rise of a new Goa'uld, Daniel felt his body relax. The tension drained out of him.

He had failed.

He accepted that inescapable fact. He had failed. Twice over. The mission had always been outside of his comfort zone. He had killed Goa'uld before. He had sent a bomb to Ra; had shot up an entire tank of them in anger. But it wasn't his usual path, Daniel mused. He had questioned whether he could live with effectively being an assassin. He hadn't been certain that he could do it; hadn't been certain even with the vial in his hand and the time of reckoning upon him. He had used Sarah's arrival to delay.

Could he have killed her? Daniel still wasn't sure. He had wanted another way – had been desperate for something to save her. He needed to save her where he had failed to save Sha're. Maybe some of it was guilt that Sarah had been caught up in his world. Intellectually, he knew it wasn't his fault but on some level, he blamed himself for not telling Sarah of the danger. Maybe it also had something to do with the leftover regret from his relationship with Sarah. He hadn't loved Sarah enough; he hadn't loved her as much as he had loved Sha're. In the end, he wasn't sure what drove him to save her – to make up for what he had failed to do with Sha're or to make up for the failed boyfriend he had once been to Sarah.

When she had spoken about Anubis he had felt so much relief flood through his body that it had been a wonder that he could stand. He'd had a valid reason not to kill her. But he had still failed to save her and that smarted more than the failure of his mission to eliminate the System Lords.

In truth he was pleased it had failed. The Tok'ra's plan seemed too entirely genocidal to Daniel; too blasé about the collateral damage they would create in the wake of using the symbiote poison. Which brought him neatly to the reason why he had sought out Teal'c.

Their use of the symbiote poison on Revanna had been a necessity but the devastation it had caused had been unspeakable. The camp had been a field of corpses. So many Jaffa had lain dead. Teal'c had taken one step and stopped. His gaze had travelled over each warrior and Daniel had seen sorrow swim in his dark eyes. It had been a moment of complete clarity for Daniel that the Tok'ra had been wrong to consider using the poison without considering the impact on the Jaffa.

The sun disappeared and left behind the soft purple of early evening. Daniel breathed in the air; the crisp freshness rushing through his lungs.

'I'm sorry, Teal'c.' Daniel said softly. 'For the loss of your people.'

Teal'c didn't move. 'The symbiote poison is most effective.'

'I don't think we should use it.' Daniel said clearly. 'Not until we have a firm plan for helping the Jaffa be free of the symbiotes.'

'Bra'tac has spoken to me of a new Jaffa rebel leader.' Teal'c commented. 'One who is gaining some success in attracting more Jaffa to our cause; to fight for freedom. Yet I fear we will not be truly free until our bodies can be sustained without them.' He inclined his head. 'I had not considered the Tok'ra's plan beyond the elimination of the System Lords.'

'I don't think the Tok'ra had really considered their plan beyond the elimination of the System Lords.' Daniel commented wryly. He pulled at the laces on his boots.

'You were wise to refrain from killing them given the return of Anubis.' Teal'c said.

Daniel shrugged. 'In all honesty, Teal'c, I just wanted to save Sarah.'

'An understandable ambition.' Teal'c commented.

'One that I failed to accomplish.' Daniel sighed heavily. 'I never seem to make a difference.'

Teal'c finally turned to look at him. 'I do not believe that to be the case, Daniel Jackson.'

'You know why I decided to take the mission, Teal'c?' Daniel blurted out. 'I took the mission because I thought; this is it. This is my chance to really make a difference. Wipe out the System Lords; break the Goa'uld hold over the galaxy.' He sighed. 'But when it came down to it, I couldn't do it. I'm not sure I could have done it even if Sarah hadn't turned up; and if I had…I'm not sure I could have lived with myself.'

'It was a most difficult mission.' Teal'c murmured.

Daniel pulled a face and glanced at his team mate. 'You knew I would hate it.'

'I knew you would prefer another way.' Teal'c countered. 'That is not a bad thing, Daniel Jackson.'

'I think about Elliot and I wonder if I could do what he did.' Daniel murmured. 'Whether I could face death the way he did to save others but knowing that I would kill so many in dying.'

'I am certain you are capable of facing death to save others, Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c said firmly. 'You have already done so on many occasions.'

'But taking out so many with me?' Daniel shook his head. 'I don't know.'

'He performed with honour.' Teal'c said.

Daniel didn't say anything more. He hoped whichever God Elliot believed in would weigh his soul and judge him the same way. He had been so young.

They sat for a while in the night air; the company and the silence both appreciated.

'Has Colonel O'Neill departed?' Teal'c asked eventually.

'Yeah.' Daniel winced. He didn't envy Jack his responsibility for informing Elliot's family; for tap-dancing around the truth of what had happened to give them the core essence of it; that their son had saved their lives with his death. 'I offered to go with him but…I think he needed to do it alone.'

'He holds himself responsible for the death of Elliot and the rest of SG17.' Teal'c noted. 'Yet he could not know of Anubis's plan to attack the Tok'ra base.'

'You know Jack.' Daniel commented. The military man was incredibly protective of those under his command and Daniel knew he felt each loss. Elliot was a difficult one to come to terms with; the circumstances, their involvement in his training, the sacrifice the young officer had made.

'Major Carter must have also volunteered to accompany O'Neill.' Teal'c surmised out loud.

'She did.' Daniel grimaced. 'She was denied permission by Hammond. I think everyone's worried she's going to turn all Jolinar on us again like she did after she thought she had killed Martouf.'

'It is good Jacob Carter chose to remain on Earth.' Teal'c commented.

'I don't there's any place for him to go back to.' Daniel said sadly. 'He contacted the Tok'ra; they're evacuating all their bases. They figure if Anubis knew the location of Revanna…' he shrugged and looked over at Teal'c. 'What do you know about Anubis?'

'Only that he was exiled long ago for crimes against the System Lords.' Teal'c answered promptly. 'Until now he was believed dead.'

'That's what Selmak said.' Daniel said.

Teal'c nodded sagely. 'For many years, he has been a monster to frighten young Jaffa into good behaviour. Anubis was among the most feared of the original Goa'uld.'

'You think he was the Goa'uld Tanith wouldn't name back on Tollana?' Daniel wondered out loud.

'It is possible.' Teal'c said. 'Tanith was weak; he would need to ally with a stronger Goa'uld.'

A breeze brushed over them, disturbing Daniel's hair. He patted it back into place and got to his feet. 'I'm, ah, going to head in. Get some sleep.' He murmured.

Teal'c inclined his head but made no move to follow.

Daniel nodded understandingly and headed for the door. He wasn't sure he would be able to sleep between Anubis, Sarah and the failed mission but his body ached with tiredness. He took one final look at the sky. He had failed his mission but he somehow felt that maybe, just maybe, he had saved his soul.

o-O-o

Selmak stared out at the night sky through the den window. Jacob had acquiesced to her need to stay awake; to wander silently through his daughter's house. He had ended up making a drink of hot chocolate and sitting in a large comfy chair by the window.

They had managed to contact Garshaw to raise the alarm. If Anubis had somehow found out the location of Revanna then it was clear their other bases were equally at risk. The Tok'ra were evacuating not even to secondary locations but planets they had not even previously considered. Selmak had convinced Jacob they should spend a few days on Earth. There was no point rejoining only to simply spend the next few days running especially given their injuries in the crash. It would be good to stay and finish their healing. It was getting harder for Selmak to heal her host; a sign of her age. She was getting old.

She heard the names of the constellations drift through their shared thoughts as Jacob recognised one star formation after another. A memory floated into being: Jacob sat with his wife and two children outside in the cold night air; a simple house behind them. He and Kathy were teaching Mark and Sam the names of the stars; childish fingers pointed upwards, their eyes bright with wonder. It was a treasured memory and Selmak treasured it too; holding it close like a warm blanket to soothe her.

_Let yourself grieve, Selmak_, Jacob chided her gently.

_If I start I'm not sure I'll stop_, Selmak responded sadly. They had lost so many at Revanna. It wasn't the first such loss that she had endured in her life and she doubted with the news of Anubis's return that it would be the last. She had long since stopped being attached to places. The life of a Tok'ra was a life on the run. She envied Jacob his sense of home when they returned to Earth, welcomed his admonishment that it was her home too since they were joined. Revanna though had signified a new hope with the loss of Apophis and their move from Vorash.

_It's not the place you grieve for_, Jacob said quietly.

_No; not the place. _Selmak acknowledged the truth. She grieved for the loss of her kin. So many deaths. Ren-al, Aldwin, Andor, Viro, Lantash…the list was endless. Three of the Council had perished along with the rest. Hiku, one of her oldest and dearest friends…it had been Hiku who had taught Jacob the customs of Yu's court. Her host, Pila had been a concubine there. Hiku's former host, Leon, had been Saroosh's lover and the two symbiotes had remained close ever since. Sorrow surged through Selmak and Jacob did his best to comfort her silently.

His grief was muted; couched in less familiarity with those who had died. There was regret for Aldwin who had been a good friend to them and for Ren-al and Hiku who they had worked with so closely on the plan. There was more regret for Lantash; Jacob had been truly fond of him.

_I am sorry they all died, Selmak_, Jacob said, sensing her thoughts. _Your grief is mine. _

_I know_, Selmak assured him. And so it was; just as his was hers. All tangled together with the fragile intricacy of a spider's web. She sighed inwardly. She had known some better than others though; some had remained distant and mere acquaintances. She had known them all though; the curse and gift of being the oldest among them.

Selmak figured she was probably the only one who remembered Anubis from before his exile. She remembered him as cold and arrogant. He'd favoured men as hosts; strong, virile usually but not especially handsome. The cruelty of Anubis had turned any superficial beauty to ugliness regardless.

_You fear him_, Jacob realised following the meandering path of her thoughts.

_Yes._ Selmak couldn't deny it. When Daniel had communicated with them and told them of how Osiris was representing Anubis…a chill had run through her.

_Who is this guy_, Jacob questioned.

_All of our worst nightmares_, Selmak replied. _Anubis is Death. He slaughters all without mercy; humans, Jaffa, Tok'ra…Goa'uld. He rules not for power or glory but because he believes he truly is a God with the power of life or death in his hands. And he is clever, more so than any other Goa'uld. He is manipulative and vile in his strategies seeking not only to win but to cause as much pain as possible to all in the winning._

_Hy'lok Mor. _Jacob picked the name out of her head. _What is that?_

_The final atrocity; the one that forced Ra and the other System Lords at the time to ally to exile him_, Selmak said. _Hy'lok Mor was a planet on the outer edges of his domain; on the outer edges of this galaxy. Rumour that Anubis was creating a new weapon there surrounded it and eventually Ra took an army and conquered it. _She stared out at the stars._ It wasn't a weapon._

_Then what?_ Jacob asked curious.

_The Tok'ra never knew for certain_, Selmak admitted. _The exact details remained a secret between Ra and the other System Lords, and they burned the planet. However, rumours spoke of a queen being found there; of vast vats of symbiotes._

_He was attempting to recreate the Goa'uld race in his own image,_ suggested Jacob.

_Perhaps._ Selmak shrugged. _There were stories that these symbiotes were malformed somehow; abominations. Some of the Tok'ra Council at the time thought Anubis was attempting to play God with the Goa'uld themselves._

_I can see how that could have gotten him exiled,_ Jacob mused.

_He was exiled into a feeble human boy and left on the remains of Hy'lok Mor; the Stargate was removed,_ Selmak said. _The Tok'ra heard of his death from a minor Goa'uld in Ra's court. Ra was rumoured to have eaten the body of the child._

_God, that's sick, _Jacob shuddered.

_But it seems he survived somehow_, Selmak said in wonderment.

_Perhaps his death was more spoken about than real_, Jacob mused.

Selmak nodded. _Perhaps. If Ra had discovered that Anubis had somehow managed to escape he would not have wanted it known._

_And as long as Anubis kept hidden, nobody was any the wiser. _Jacob frowned and adjusted his robe. _Where's he been all this time? Or maybe, I guess the better question is why is he back?_

_To kill us all_, Selmak answered dryly. _I think that much is clear; Tau'ri and Tok'ra alike. It is going to be a difficult time ahead, Jacob._

_We'll face it together,_ Jacob assured her.

Selmak let herself sink into his confidence. The Tau'ri had defeated the Goa'uld before; powerful Goa'ulds that the Tok'ra would never have risked taking on. It was perhaps the example of the Tau'ri that had spurred the Council into its most ambitious plan to strike at all of the System Lords during the Summit.

_Thank God Daniel Jackson wavered over killing Osiris,_ Selmak mused. As frustrating as it was for the plan to have failed, if they had followed through, they would have handed Anubis the galaxy. She felt Jacob's continued frustration at Daniel's actions. _You cannot blame him for wishing to save his friend,_ she admonished. Daniel had failed to save his wife and she guessed that played a part in wanting to save Sarah Gardner.

_I forget sometimes that he isn't a soldier,_ Jacob replied.

_He prefers other options to killing,_ Selmak agreed; _that isn't a bad trait, Jacob._ Certainly his doubt over using the symbiote poison given its effects on the Jaffa had validity. The sight of so many fallen warriors on Revanna had given Selmak considerable pause. Teal'c had been ashen by the time they had reached the gate. Maybe the Tok'ra were as guilty as the Goa'uld of treating the Jaffa as no more than collateral; their lives to be saved or spent at their whim. Maybe instead of the poison their efforts should be focused on freeing the Jaffa.

A sound broke the silence; a door opening. Sam appeared in the doorway. She stopped as soon as she caught sight of them.

'I'm sorry, Dad, I didn't know you were up.' Sam pointed at the kitchen beyond the breakfast bar. 'I just want a glass of water.'

'It's OK.' Jacob said, rising. 'Selmak and I couldn't sleep.' He looked at her worriedly. 'You?'

Sam's eyes darted to his sharply. 'I haven't turned into Jolinar if that's what you mean.'

Selmak nudged for control and Jacob conceded with an inward huff. 'Jacob is simply worried for you, Samantha.' She could see Sam blush in the dim light. 'Especially with all you have been through recently.'

'Sorry.' Sam raised her glass. 'It's just…'

She had been denied permission to accompany her CO to inform Elliot's parents; denied permission to accompany him to watch over the last moment of the young man's life – of Lantash's life. Selmak figured Sam was grating against what she perceived was everyone being over-protective.

'You don't remember how it was when the memory of Jolinar took over you after Martouf's perceived death.' Selmak remonstrated gently. Sam had been unaware of how her mental barriers had collapsed; of how the memory of Jolinar had risen to the surface and taken over Sam. It had taken an ancient technique with the hand device to reinstate the mental blocks; to push Jolinar back into her rightful place in Sam's mind. 'Perhaps that is why it is difficult for you to understand our concerns.'

Sam nodded. 'I guess that's true.' She gestured. 'How are you? I know you and Lantash were close.'

'We miss him.' Selmak acknowledged gruffly. 'We miss all of them.'

'Of course.' Sam reached over the breakfast bar and patted her father's arm. 'I'm sorry; what happened at Revanna…' her voice trailed away uncertainly.

'It is a major blow for the Tok'ra.' Selmak admitted. She glanced at Sam; at the paleness of her skin, the scratches and bruises from her ordeal evident. She felt Jacob's worry surge up and let him take over again.

'How are doing, kiddo?' Jacob asked.

'I'm fine.' Sam's fingers tightened on the glass; her knuckles turning white.

Jacob simply stared at her in that paternal way that communicated he was her father; that she couldn't lie to him; that he knew better.

They could see how Sam hesitated but she suddenly deflated, gazing intently into her glass as though she would find answers there. 'Lantash gave his life to save me.' Sam said. 'I've had…others do that recently,' Jacob wondered who she meant, 'and,' she bit her lip and shrugged. 'I'm not worth that.'

Jacob walked around the breakfast bar. He wrapped her in a hug. There had been a moment when they had heard the Tok'ra warning that Jacob had feared the worse; the loss of his child. Selmak could feel his gratitude for Lantash's sacrifice. 'You are definitely worth saving, kiddo; don't you ever think otherwise.'

Sam returned her father's hug before she eased back and swiped at her face. 'Everybody just seems so keen to die to save me, I just…just once, I kind of wish someone would want to live for me, you know.'

Jacob brushed a tear from her cheek. 'I know you really cared for Martouf and Lantash.'

Sam turned away, hiding her face. 'Dad.'

'Hey, I'm not exactly comfortable about talking about this kind of stuff with you either.' Jacob pointed out. A memory shot through Selmak; of Jacob stumbling through a discussion on safe sex with his teenage daughter. 'Maybe because of losing Lantash again it seems right now like you won't find happiness but believe me it'll happen for you one day.'

Sam didn't turn back to face them and Selmak knew the moment of exchanging confidences between father and daughter had passed. Sam picked up her glass again. 'I should get some sleep.' She leaned in and kissed her father on the cheek. ''Night.'

'Night.'

Jacob sighed and she felt his paternal desire to sweep away all of his daughter's hurts; to make them better; to take away the pain of the traumas she had endured; to take away the pain of those she had lost. He so wanted her to be happy; to find the love that he had once shared with Sam's mother. Selmak suspected Sam had already found that love even if Jacob didn't want to admit it given that it was against the rules of the military Sam adhered to keep and so could never be fulfilled unless something changed. But Jacob didn't need to hear the truth of it.

_You were right, Jacob,_ Selmak soothed instead. _She will find happiness one day. _

She felt his tiredness and acquiesced to his wish to retire. It was time to sleep. The new day would bring with it new challenges.

o-O-o

**Part III: A New Dawn**

All Jennifer Hailey could focus on was the pounding of her footsteps against the pavement. She let it fill her ears and her head. She ignored the drizzle of rain that had already soaked through her grey sweat shorts and the deep blue Air Force t-shirt. She kept running. Her thighs were beginning to feel the burn; her calve muscles in danger of cramping. Her breath was coming in sharp pants, bordering on sobs. Her heartbeat was racing along with her body. She ignored everything but the footsteps.

The early morning light seeped through the rain clouds and turned the asphalt to silver. Puddles glistened in the road like polished mirrors. Hailey wasn't aware of anything but her footsteps.

She didn't want to think; didn't want to feel; didn't want to remember the way General Hammond had pulled her, Satterfield and Grogan into his office the afternoon before…

_It was unusual for the base CO to request the presence of junior officers in his office. Hailey felt her belly stir with anxiety as they got into the elevator. She was certain that she hadn't done anything wrong. SG5 had just back from a diplomatic mission and she had just finished putting the final touches on her report when she had got the summons._

'_What do you think this is about?' Tamsin Satterfield looked as nervous as Hailey felt._

'_I don't know.' Hailey responded._

_Matt Grogan fidgeted beside her. 'Maybe they're going to tell us that they got it wrong and we're out.'_

_Hailey shook her head. 'I don't think so.'_

'_Maybe…'_

'_Maybe we should just wait and see.' Hailey said firmly. She crossed her arms over her t-shirt and refused to look at the others. The elevator deposited them on the right level and they made their way to the office._

_Hammond waved them inside. 'At ease.' He kept standing; his round face incredibly solemn. 'I won't drag this out. As you may know Lieutenant Elliot was deployed with SG17 on a Tok'ra orientation.' He paused. 'I'm afraid the Tok'ra base was attacked by the Goa'uld and all members of SG17 have been lost. Lieutenant Elliot gave his life to ensure the safe return of SG1 and General Carter.'_

_Hailey blinked at Hammond. Elliot was dead? But he couldn't be. She'd talked to him just before his mission; they'd arranged to meet up for a drink and trade stories when they both got back…he couldn't be dead._

'_I realise you all trained together very recently and wanted to inform you before you heard it from someone else.' Hammond said kindly._

'_Thank you, sir.' Hailey managed to get the words out. Satterfield and Grogan stood shell-shocked beside her._

_Hammond nodded. 'You're relieved of duty for the rest of the day and if any of you need to talk, your COs have been apprised or you can always speak confidentially with Doctor Fraiser.' He looked at them gravely. 'That's all.'_

Hailey believed it was only their ingrained training that brought them out of their stupor and enabled them to leave the office. By mutual agreement, the three of them had all left the base and headed for the bar, where only a couple of weeks before they had sat celebrating the successful completion of the training simulation. They had spent the night getting drunk.

She slowed as she rounded the corner to her apartment building. She staggered to a stop in front of the door and forced herself into a series of stretches before she headed inside. She got into the elevator and slumped against the back wall.

His first mission.

She crossed her arms tightly over her chest. Elliot had been so excited. An earlier mission had been cancelled because of Teal'c being stuck in the memory buffers. They had bumped into each other in the commissary when she and SG5 had got back from Russia having had to gate there for the same reason. They'd had a snack and arranged to meet for drinks.

It wasn't a romance; it hadn't been a romance, Hailey corrected, blinking back tears. Not that Elliot wasn't cute – he was, it was just that neither of them wanted to derail their careers with anything like that. It had just been the start of what she had thought could have been a really great friendship. They were very similar; ambitious, driven, and passionate about the Stargate programme.

He hadn't deserved to die. But then neither had his CO Major Mansfield or any of the rest of SG17. From what Hailey could make out from the rumour mill before they'd left the base even SG1 had barely made it back.

The elevator doors opened.

She limped along the corridor to her apartment and let herself in. Grogan and Satterfield had crashed at her place and she could see the discarded blankets piled on the small two-seater sofa.

'Hey.' Satterfield called out to her from across the room. She held up a bright orange mug. 'Coffee?'

Hailey shook her head. 'Just water.' She headed for her refrigerator. 'Where's Matt?'

'He got called into the SGC.' Satterfield took a sip of her coffee. 'He just got assigned to SG9.'

'Wow.' Hailey shook her head. 'I didn't realise…he didn't say anything last night.'

'He felt bad.' Satterfield explained. 'I mean, he gets an assignment and…'

'Elliot's dead.' Hailey took a gulp of water. She could understand why Grogan had kept quiet. She glanced at the clock. 'I have to get a move on.'

'Jenn.' Satterfield placed her mug down and hooked her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. 'I'm putting in for a transfer.'

Hailey looked at her surprised. 'Tam…'

'I can't do this.' Satterfield blurted out. 'I can't.'

Hailey nodded. Satterfield had been assigned to the base archaeology department while she waited for a place on a SG team. 'You've got to do what's right for you.' She said mildly. She jerked her thumb toward the bathroom. 'I have to go shower.'

'I, uh, I'm going to leave.' Satterfield said. 'I was just waiting until you got back.'

'I'll see you at the base.' Hailey said. She walked away into the bathroom. She heard the front door opening and closing as she stripped. She stepped under the spray of hot water.

She wondered if Satterfield would really request the transfer. It was probably just the shock. It was the first time any of them had lost someone they knew so closely. It was the reality of fighting a war, Hailey told herself as she showered. They would lose people; they would lose team-mates and colleagues. The Goa'uld didn't care who they killed.

It was sobering and Hailey couldn't blame Satterfield for wanting out. The question was did she want out too? She remembered her mother cautioning her on joining the Air Force. The military meant learning to kill and how to survive; it meant that one day that training would matter in a real situation.

Elliot had been there and he hadn't survived.

The question nagged at her as she got dressed and drove into the base. She entered the female locker room and redressed in the SGC BDUs. She avoided the mess; she didn't want to bump into anyone else. She headed for the small lab space she had been assigned and buried herself in work.

A loud rap on the door made her jump. She looked up in annoyance which quickly dissipated at the sight of her CO, Major Tennyson.

'Sir.' Crap. Her eyes flew to the clock. She'd had a meeting with him and she'd totally forgotten.

The stocky leader of SG5 entered and closed the door. 'Usually when a CO requests a meeting with his junior officer, they report to him not the other way around, Lieutenant.'

'Yes, sir.' Hailey said quickly. 'I'm sorry, sir; it won't happen again.'

Tennyson's keen blue eyes settled on her with more understanding than she had anticipated. 'First time you've lost someone you've known?'

Hailey nodded. 'I'm fine, sir.'

Tennyson waved her onto her stool and sat down opposite. He clasped his hands on top of the workbench and looked at her directly, sadness filling his craggy face. 'Henry Mansfield and I went to the Academy together. We served in the Gulf together. We played golf every time we got downtime together. Our wives are friends. Kelly's over with Lauren right now. I'm going to miss him.'

'I'm sorry, sir.' Hailey said, flushing. She sighed. 'I didn't even know Elliot that well.'

'No,' Tennyson agreed, 'but you trained together and were becoming friends, right?'

She nodded again. She took a breath. 'How do you do it, sir? How do you…'

'Keep serving, keep forming bonds, knowing there's a possibility that the people around you may die?' Tennyson completed the sentence.

'Yes, sir.'

'I'm not going to lie to you, Jenn.' Tennyson said gruffly. 'It's hard. But it's what we signed up for. We risk our lives to protect Earth and sometimes that exacts a price.' He sighed. 'You know those training simulations we all do test how far we'd all go in the performance of our duty. Elliot proved that he would be willing to sacrifice his own life. So did you. What they don't teach you is that the hardest thing is not sacrificing your own life to save others – that's actually the easy part.'

He looked over at her. 'The hard part is seeing others sacrifice their lives for you, or others. And they don't teach you how to deal with that.'

'How do you deal with it?' Hailey asked solemnly.

'We honour the dead by remembering them.' Tennyson responded promptly. 'You look after those they left behind and you do the best damn job you can so their sacrifice is worth something.'

'Yes, sir.' Hailey took a deep breath.

Tennyson nodded. 'And on the subject of doing our jobs, you want to take me through your report?'

Hailey acknowledged the switch in subject gratefully. She reached for her prepared document. 'Yes, sir.' Life went on and she would do her job to the best of her ability and more, she would always remember Elliot and the sacrifice he'd made. He would never be forgotten.


	16. Faith, Hope and Glory

**Author's Notes: **Janet & Cassie. Team friendship. Mild Sam/Jack UST.

**Fail Safe Recap:** _A civilian astronomer has located an asteroid headed for Earth. Its size ensures that if it hits it will destroy all life; Sam notes that they have eleven days to try and find a solution but the Tok'ra are on the run after the attack on Revanna and the Asgard refuse because of the protected planets treaty. SG1 come up with a plan – to fix the cargo ship Jacob crashed on Revanna in order to deliver a nuke to destroy the asteroid. Hammond informs Jack that they are going to start evacuating people through to the Alpha site and if the plan doesn't work Jack is to go there and assume command. _

_SG1 head out with the engineering team to the planet and get started on fixing the cargo ship. They fix it and Sam sends the engineering team on to the Alpha site. It takes SG1 ten days to get to the solar system. However, the sublight engines fail and Sam is injured. She wakes just as the ship descends on the asteroid – they are going too fast but manage to head into a deep crater and survive. However the SGC believes from satellite imagery, they have crashed. Hammond talks with the President and tells him that informing the public would just cause panic and he hopes SG1 survived and will still complete the mission. _

_SG1 note that many of the ship's systems are not working but they get on with the plan, deploying the bomb. Teal'c and Jack plant the bomb in a cave and set the timer. Sam is checking scans because she can't reconcile how quickly they descended on the asteroid. The ship is hit by meteors and when Jack tries to contact Sam and Daniel there is no response. When Jack and Teal'c get back to the ship they realise Sam and Daniel have taken refuge in the escape pods. _

_Teal'c and Jack patch the ship and release Sam and Daniel from the pods. Sam continues her scans and discovers that the asteroid core is made up mostly from naquadah – if the bomb goes, the explosion will be enhanced by the naquadah and Earth will be wiped out. They realise it's been a Goa'uld plot; a way of circumventing the treaty. Jack and Teal'c head back to stop the bomb. They try the deactivation code but it doesn't work and there is only three minutes left. Sam tells Jack he has to deactivate it manually. They open the bomb. Sam tells him to cut the red wire but all the wires are yellow. He cuts the wires randomly and stops the bomb. _

_The fail safe point for destroying the asteroid is reached. Hammond orders Davis and Walter to go to the Alpha site. On the cargo ship, SG1 discuss the options and come up with a plan to take the asteroid into hyperspace before they crash into Earth – the asteroid will travel through Earth. Sam notes that it will likely crash the hyperdrive engines afterwards and they would be unlikely to be able to lift off. As Hammond waits for the impact on Earth, Sam makes the calculations and they enter hyperspace; they come out on the other side of the Earth. On the ship they note they only have two hours of life support when the Tok'ra Jalen arrives and offers assistance._

**Faith, Hope and Glory**

"_I'm confident."_

Janet Fraiser looked around the make-shift infirmary at the Alpha site with a sense of disbelief. The structure was solid; metal frame and outer shell with plasterboard cladding inside. A wooden base kept the structure off the ground and the linoleum flooring looked shiny and new. There were rooms; an operating theatre to the back complete with equipment and sterilisation unit; an office for the doctors; a locker room for the nurses, two isolation rooms and four separate wards. There was a pharmaceutical store filled to the brim. The final touches were underway; beds were being made, cupboards were being stocked. It was impressive that so much had been done in such a short space of time.

The only other structures were two massive supply stores; a library hut which housed key reference books on everything from medicine to farming; the kitchen with an adjoining mess; a small command hut and a primitive set of toilets.

There was no housing; no barracks. There had been no time for the construction. The five hundred people who had been evacuated from Earth would have to make do with tents. Sanitation was going to become a problem, Janet considered as she continued to inspect the infirmary. There was a fresh water lake nearby and she knew the engineers were already working on a way to provide a continuous supply of drinking water. Barrels had been set up to catch rainwater for bathing. It was going to be basic.

At least they were alive.

Don't think about it, Janet instructed herself sternly. Don't think about the fact that within minutes Earth would be destroyed; billions of lives gone in a blink of an eye; her parents, her sisters…their families…General Hammond. Janet blinked back tears and focused on the clipboard she held.

She was lucky. She and Cassie were lucky. They had been on the evacuation list. They would survive along with many others. She had to focus on that. She swiped a hand under her eyes surreptitiously not wanting her staff to see her crying. Most of the evacuees were going to suffer survivor's guilt and bereavement. She should discuss that with the resident psychiatrist…a Doctor Kate Heightmeyer. The SGC's resident psychiatrist, Mackenzie, hadn't made the list; another colleague Janet would lose.

Her radio crackled. 'Doctor Fraiser, this is Ferretti. We have a situation at the library; could you please come over.'

Janet felt her breath catch in fear. Cassie, her adopted daughter, was at the library. She had offered to help Nyan sort through the books. She reached for the radio. 'On my way.' She grabbed her medical kit on her way out and hurried across the muddy encampment to the library building. She was barely aware of the military men and women running backwards and forwards, completing vital tasks.

The library was cold. It didn't have the internal protective plasterboard padding that helped retain heat. The metal walls were grey and uninviting. Janet scanned the space urgently, trying to locate her daughter.

Ferretti walked over to her with Major Tennyson, the leader of SG5. 'Doc.'

'What's the emergency, Colonel?' Janet asked quickly.

Ferretti shoved a hand through his dark thinning hair. 'Cassie overheard a couple of the Marines talking about SG1.'

Janet's heart sank. 'What did they say?'

'They may have let it slip about SG1's cargo ship crashing into the asteroid.' Tennyson said grimacing.

Ferretti sighed heavily as Janet closed her eyes in despair. 'She yelled at them some; knocked one of them off his feet – she has a great right hook by the way – and ran out.'

Janet's eyes snapped open. 'Which direction did she go in?'

'I sent Hailey after her.' Tennyson said briskly. 'She said they're on the far side of the camp by the kitchen.'

'Thanks.' Janet didn't waste any more time. She made her way across the camp. She caught sight of the two girls sat on an overturned crate near to the back entrance to the kitchen. Lieutenant Hailey had her arm around Cassie who was crying. Their conversation drifted over to her.

'They're not dead.' Cassie sobbed.

'Maybe you're right.' Hailey comforted gently. 'But we don't know for sure and…'

Janet took the last few strides towards them. Cassie sprang up as she saw her and Janet dropped her bag as the young girl launched herself into her arms much as she had done when she'd been little.

'Mom.' Cassie sobbed onto her shoulder. 'Is it true? Are they dead?'

'Oh, honey.' Janet stroked her hair softly.

Hailey pointed to the library, indicating without words that she would leave Janet with Cassie alone.

'Are they?' Cassie demanded. She inched back and glared at her mother.

Janet stroked Cassie's bangs away from her forehead. 'We don't know what happened to them, Cassie. That's the truth.'

'The dumb Marine said they crashed onto the asteroid.' Cassie sniffled.

Janet nudged her back to the crate and they sat down. She took hold of Cassie's hand. 'The satellites indicated that they were approaching the asteroid too fast to make a safe landing but there was no evidence of a crash. It's all speculation. General Hammond was hopeful.'

'But if they had survived, they would have gone through with the plan.' Cassie said subdued. 'They would have destroyed the asteroid and we wouldn't be here.' She was pale and Janet held her tightly. Earth would be the second home Cassie lost; she wasn't sure her daughter was going to endure it.

'Maybe something else happened.' Janet said softly. 'Maybe they couldn't deploy the bomb. We just don't know.'

'So they could have survived.' Cassie said, brightening. 'Right?'

'Maybe.' Janet didn't want to raise her hopes too high. She looked away briefly and caught the glimmer of a shining blue wormhole on the other side of the clearing. The Stargate had been activated. Maybe they were trying Earth; seeing whether anyone had survived…

'I mean, if anyone could have survived it's them, right?' Cassie continued oblivious to her mother's thoughts.

Janet hugged her gently rather than replying. If Cassie was right then SG1 would show up within a month; Colonel O'Neill had been ordered to take command of the Alpha site. She hoped he did; the current CO, Colonel Sumner seemed like a good man – more formal than either Hammond or Jack though and Janet preferred to have someone she knew in charge. 'Come on.' She picked up Cassie's other hand and winced at the grazed knuckles. 'Let's go get this fixed.' She pinned her daughter with an admonishing look. 'You're going to have to apologise to the Marine you knocked down.'

Cassie rolled her eyes but nodded.

'Who taught you that move anyway?' Janet asked as they got up. She picked up her discarded bag.

'Teal'c.' Cassie smiled. 'He's going to be so proud of me.'

'I don't think he meant for you to be using it on innocent people, Cass.' Janet sighed inwardly.

'They insulted SG1's honour, Mom, so…'

'Can I have everyone's attention please?' The tannoy rang out loudly with the confident tones of the Colonel. 'We have just received word from General Hammond.'

Janet and Cassie stopped abruptly in the middle of the clearing.

'He has confirmed that it is safe for us to return. Our exit orders are hereby in effect; please follow them as previously instructed.'

Janet's knees went weak and she hugged Cassie to her hard. Earth was safe and everyone she loved who had remained on the planet was safe. Her eyes closed briefly as she took a deep breath. Everyone was safe. Her mother and her sisters; their children. She opened her eyes and blinked hard against the sudden press of tears.

Cassie looked at Janet, her eyes shining with glee. 'SG1 saved us, right?'

Janet smiled widely as she nodded. If anyone had saved them it had to be the flagship team Cassie so adored. 'I'm sure they had something to do with it.' She smoothed Cassie's hair back over her shoulder as several people ran past them, whooping and hollering. 'Let's go home.'

"_Me too."_

General Hammond watched as the control room staff took their usual places. It settled something inside him to see the first sign of normality returning to the SGC. Of course, the control room personnel were amongst the last to go and the first to return. They would have to coordinate the return of all of the evacuees over the next couple of weeks; not to mention the supplies and equipment.

People first, Hammond thought as he patted Walter Harriman on the shoulder and absently welcomed him back.

'Sir.' Major Paul Davis grinned at him. 'Reporting for duty.'

'Good to see you, Major.' Hammond smiled warmly.

'And you, sir.' There was an edge of desperate relief to Davis' words and Hammond nodded understandingly.

Although he had confirmed that the danger had passed as soon as satellite imagery had pinpointed the asteroid on the other side of the Earth and moving away from them, there had to have been a short space of time when the Alpha site would have thought Earth had been destroyed.

'Do we know what happened, sir?' Davis asked as he fell into step beside Hammond as they took the stairs to his office.

Hammond shook his head. 'All we know is that the asteroid was picked up on the other side of Earth. The Pentagon is theorising that it was placed in hyperspace during its transit through the planet.'

'SG1?' Davis inquired delicately.

'We don't know for certain.' Hammond admitted. He hoped so; believed so. If there was something he had pinned his hopes on during the long days and nights of the previous weeks it had been that SG1 had never failed them. One of the worst moments of his life had been when it had been assumed that the cargo ship had crashed on the surface of the asteroid. It seemed impossible to him that SG1 wouldn't make it. He still fervently believed that SG1 had played a part in the asteroid miraculously passing through the planet without harming it. 'We've been unable to raise them.'

He tried to hide his fear that SG1 had saved them at the cost of their own lives. If they had pulled off a miracle but had somehow died in the undertaking…he couldn't think like that, he told himself brusquely. He had to remain positive. They had survived other impossible situations before.

Davis nodded as though in understanding of Hammond's unspoken thoughts.

Hammond handed him a folder from the briefing room table. 'Major, you'll be in charge of debriefing the civilian evacuees returning from the Alpha site.' He sighed. 'As you know that will include several families of military and civilian personnel assigned to the SGC.' It had been an easy decision to allow the families of the men and women assigned to the Alpha site to take their immediate family. Expecting them to take sanctuary while their loved ones died would have been untenable.

'Yes, sir.' Davis started to flick through the file.

'You will need to remind them of the confidentiality agreement they signed before leaving for the Alpha site and the penalties for any of this being released to the media or spoken about with other close family or friends.' Hammond's pale eyebrows lifted. 'It's not going to be an easy job, Major.'

'I understand, sir.' Davis grimaced. 'Is the President still determined not to go with a cover story?'

'He is.' Hammond motioned at Davis. 'He believes that while we could get away with that when Apophis tried to invade us a few years ago, the sheer scale of the evacuation this time suggests that we can't hope to keep containment that way.'

Davis nodded. 'So we're hoping a more honest approach will make people more likely to keep everything secret and…'

'Sir.' Walter shot Davis an apologetic look. 'General, we have an incoming transmission from SG1, sir.'

Hammond and Davis looked at each other with surprised delight. Hammond hurried after Walter, vaguely aware of Davis following him. They clattered down the steel staircase. Hammond moved to the radio swiftly.

'SG1, this is Hammond.' He said clearly.

'Good to hear your voice, sir.' Jack O'Neill's careless drawl had the control room cheering.

'As you can hear, we're pleased to hear from you.' Hammond responded. 'What's your situation?'

'I'm afraid our cargo ship is toast.' Jack replied. 'Carter can explain it in more detail when we get back but it seems our asteroid isn't really an asteroid. We couldn't deploy the bomb – which, by the way, is incredibly poorly made – and had to come up with a different plan.'

'We noticed the asteroid is on the other side of Earth.' Hammond noted. 'I take it that was the plan?'

'Yes, sir.' It was Major Carter who responded. 'We managed to extend the hyperspace window from our cargo ship to surround the entire asteroid.'

'Excellent work, SG1.' Hammond said proudly.

'Thank you, sir.' Jack replied. 'The Tok'ra are providing us with a lift home.'

Hammond motioned at Davis. 'We'll notify Petersen and warn them of your arrival.'

'Thank you. We'll see you soon, sir.' Jack signed out and the transmission ended.

Hammond breathed out slowly. SG1 was safe; the Earth was safe. He shook his head as the control room continued celebrating around him. They had done it again; saved them again. Sometimes he questioned whether it was right to keep them together still; whether they were too close but the events of the last few days had cemented his belief that they were needed as a team.

SG1 saving the world; everything was definitely on its way back to being normal.

"_As am I."_

'Where?' Cassie complained, leaning down and squinting through the telescope. 'I can't see it.'

Sam smiled. 'Look over to the right. See that tiny speck?'

'That's the asteroid?' Cassie sighed and straightened. 'I thought that was a fly.'

Jack rolled his eyes at Sam expressively. He reached over and tousled Cassie's hair. 'And for that, you're not getting any marshmallows.'

Cassie poked him in the ribs with her good hand. Her other hand was bandaged. She was inordinately proud of her injury even though Janet had reprimanded her for using violence. SG1 hadn't exactly followed the parental line; Teal'c had praised Cassie for defending their honour, Jack had winked at her, Sam had given her advice on how to prevent the bruising in future and Daniel had sympathised over how much pain was felt when knocking someone out with a fist. Sam was fairly certain if Janet hadn't been completely snowed under with the evacuee medicals, there would have been words.

Sam stared up at the night sky. It was a beautiful clear evening. The Colonel had invited them round to star watch and Sam had accepted eagerly. She loved the observation deck up on the roof of her CO's house. It was cosy and comfortable; on some weird level she didn't want to think about, it felt like home to her.

She yanked her thoughts from that path. It was just that a love of astronomy was something she and the Colonel shared as an interest; that was all. Nothing more. She hugged her knees to her chest tightly. Sure. And denial was nothing more than a river in Egypt.

'Where is that hot chocolate anyway?' Jack asked with the plaintive tones more suited to someone of five years old than a man in his forties.

Sam found it adorable anyway. She got to her feet hurriedly. 'I'll check on Daniel and Teal'c, sir.'

'You sure?' Jack asked. 'I can go…'

'It's OK, sir.' Sam smiled at him reassuringly. 'You stay with Cassie, I'll go.' She made her way to the ladder and glanced back at her CO.

He was leaning over to point out a constellation to Cassie. Sam could remember her own father doing much the same with her when she had been small. She shook herself and started down.

It was all because they'd come so close to dying, Sam thought defensively. They had thought they only had two hours to live. It had just stirred up old feelings; that was all. She sighed. OK, so maybe, just maybe, for a moment, a millisecond, she had wanted to tell Jack how she felt before they died; to tell him nothing had changed for her and she still loved him. Not to force him into untrue return declarations or to make him feel badly; she had just wanted him to know. She hadn't wanted a lie between them in their final hours.

Sam rubbed her hands off as she got to the bottom of the ladder. Maybe it had been prompted by her own experience a few weeks earlier, Sam considered. The Tok'ra symbiote Lantash had let her know how much he loved her when they had both been trapped in a Tok'ra tunnel as the Goa'uld attacked Revanna. She hadn't wanted to hear the words at the time but since returning home, she had realised it had given her a measure of peace to know how he felt. He had died comforted by the thought that she knew of his feelings even if she couldn't return them. She had wanted the same between her and Jack if they were to die; peace and honesty.

She didn't know if she was pleased or disappointed that Jalen had turned up before she had attempted her confession. Pleased, Sam told herself tartly. She was pleased. If she had said anything the Colonel wouldn't have had a choice but to have asked for her to be reassigned. After the events where she had been possessed by a computer entity they had both made efforts to reinstate their professional boundaries and move on from their more personal feelings which had no place given their working relationship and military ranks. It hadn't worked for her. She had resolved to bury her feelings and focus on her career. But the Colonel had moved on, had dated since, even if she hadn't.

She was pleased that since her abduction by Adrian Conrad, that she and the Colonel had rediscovered their friendship. She treasured it; maybe they couldn't be lovers but his friendship was important to her; meant something to her. It also meant that it was better for the team overall. They had reinstated team nights together like the one they were enjoying. It must have been hard for Daniel and Teal'c while she and the Colonel had readjusted their boundaries, Sam mused. She figured she owed them both a huge thank you for being so patient and for not saying anything to bring the whole seething mess into the open. It was just a shame she'd had to get abducted for her and her CO to work out an acceptable balance.

The thought of her abduction had her shivering as she stepped into the house. She was pleased Adrian Conrad had been found and captured. Some would say that it was enough punishment that he would live out his life as the host of a Goa'uld but there was something reassuring to Sam personally that it would be a life behind bars. In many ways Conrad's capture had enabled her to finally put the whole thing behind her. The emotional scars would be with her for a long time; she knew that…but it was really, finally, totally over.

She heard the murmur of Daniel's and Teal'c's voices as she approached the kitchen. 'Hey.'

Daniel was leaning casually against the kitchen workbench which held all the necessary items for making hot chocolate. His arms were crossed over the heavy grey cable knit sweater he was wearing. He looked over at Sam as though he'd forgotten she was there.

Teal'c inclined his bald head in greeting and the artificial light glinted off the Goa'uld brand on his forehead.

'So's how the hot chocolate coming?' Sam asked gesturing at the mugs behind Daniel.

Daniel looked back over his shoulder and blinked. 'Oh. Right.' He smiled sheepishly. 'Sorry.'

Sam nudged him over and filled a small pan with the milk carton Daniel had evidently gotten out at some point. 'What are you guys talking about anyway?'

'I was informing Daniel Jackson of a new rebel Jaffa leader that has emerged.' Teal'c said.

'Oh?' Sam turned back to Teal'c interested.

'His name is Kytano.' Teal'c informed her. 'Master Bra'tac speaks very highly of him.'

'Wow.' Sam turned the stove on under the milk and spooned the hot chocolate mix into the mugs.

'Teal'c's asked General Hammond for permission to join Bra'tac at one of Kytano's rallies.'

'Alone?' Sam questioned, turning around to dart a worried look at the Jaffa.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at her. 'I must see for myself if Kytano is worthy of an alliance.'

'Of course.' Sam exchanged a knowing look with Daniel; the Colonel wasn't going to like Teal'c going off on his own to meet a rebel Jaffa leader. The last time it had happened, Teal'c had been betrayed and it had been a miracle that he had survived. 'Does the Colonel know yet?' She guessed not seeing as he was in a good mood.

'I thought it wise to wait until tomorrow.' Teal'c said, his dark eyes twinkling.

'Indeed,' quipped Daniel.

Sam smiled. She turned back around to stir the milk. She frowned. It was going to be another few minutes. 'Teal'c, do you want to head up and tell the Colonel and Cassie that the hot chocolate is on its way?'

Teal'c bowed at her and he made his way out of the kitchen clutching a large bag of popcorn.

'He's hoping that we'll all agree to watch Deep Impact later.' Daniel confided once they'd heard the front door closing.

Sam laughed lightly. 'I hated that movie. It was just so inaccurate and…' she stopped at the indulgent look on Daniel's face. 'Sorry.' She held up the spoon. 'I know; I shouldn't nitpick.'

'I don't know,' Daniel mused, nudging his glasses up his nose, 'if you hadn't nitpicked about the gravity on the asteroid we could have blown up Earth.' He wrinkled his nose at her.

'I guess.' Sam shrugged. 'I'm just pleased everything worked out.'

'You did an incredible job, Sam.' Daniel's praise had her blushing.

She pointed the spoon at him, droplets of milk splattering across the Colonel's kitchen floor. 'So did you.'

Daniel shrugged. 'All I did was read books and sit around. You were the one who fixed the ship.'

'You and the others helped.' Sam argued. 'And, besides; it was your plan that saved us.'

'You worked it out too.'

'Only when you mentioned how the Goa'uld had to have used hyperspace to bring the asteroid to our solar system.' Sam said. She frowned at him. 'It was your idea.'

'Maybe.' Daniel looked away from her.

Sam put down the spoon and placed her hand on his arm. 'Hey, are you OK?'

'Me?' Daniel tried smiling at her. 'I'm fine, Sam. Really.'

She looked at him concerned. She didn't think he was fine but if he didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want to push him. 'You know I'm always here if you need to talk, right?'

Daniel did smile at her then. He picked up her hand and tugged her into a brief hug. 'Thank you.'

She slipped out of the hug to check on the milk. She stirred it thoughtfully. 'Do you think Anubis could be behind the asteroid?'

'Maybe.' Daniel admitted. 'Sarah did tell the System Lords at that Summit that Anubis had some kind of plan to wipe us out.'

Sam registered the bitterness in his voice with a wince. 'Maybe the Asgard will believe us now.'

'Maybe not.' Daniel argued back. 'The Asgard will probably claim that they can't prove that it was the Goa'uld who brought it to our solar system.' He gestured at the milk which was in danger of bubbling over and she hurriedly turned off the stove.

'You're probably right.' Sam murmured. 'I mean, the Colonel's diplomatic skills notwithstanding, and I know we have the treaty to consider, but they didn't exactly rush to help us out.'

'The treaty has helped the Asgard protect a number of planets for a long time.' Daniel countered. 'If they'd helped us, it might not have been our planet the Goa'uld attacked in retaliation. It could have been Cimmeria or K'Tau. As much as I agree with you, I guess the Asgard have their rules for a reason.'

Sam poured the milk into the mugs focusing for a moment on her task. She didn't think it was all that simple. The Colonel had noted once that the treaty was a huge bluff. Given the Asgard's fight with the Replicators there was no way they had the ability to stand against the Goa'uld if they decided to test the treaty. Maybe Anubis knew that or had at least decided to push the Asgard into showing their hand.

They added marshmallows to the overflowing mugs before making their way back outside. Daniel held the tray of mugs while Sam carried each one up the ladder carefully. Eventually they all sat squashed together in the small space around the telescope.

Cassie snuggled up against Teal'c and Jack gently plucked the mug from her hand as she fell into sleep.

'Poor kid's exhausted.' Jack commented.

'It has to have been fairly traumatic.' Daniel said quietly. 'She gets evacuated because Earth might get hit with a meteor and before she can come to terms with losing her second home, she gets sent back because it's all fine.'

'You would rather we hadn't saved the world?' Jack asked caustically.

Daniel glared at him. 'You can be such a pain in the ass.'

'I know.' Jack said proudly.

'It wasn't a compliment.' Daniel complained huffily as he shifted position, stretching his long legs out.

Sam exchanged a wry look with Teal'c at the usual interplay between their team-mates before her gaze dropped to the girl sleeping on Teal'c's shoulder. 'Cassie's a tough kid. Look at the way she punched that Marine out.'

'It was impressive.' Teal'c confirmed smugly. 'She executed the punch competently.'

Sam felt her lips twitch and took a gulp of her drink. 'She'll get through this.'

Jack poked a marshmallow back into the murky depths of his hot chocolate. 'I'm confident.'

Daniel wrapped his hands around his own mug. 'Me too.'

Teal'c raised his eyes to the stars as though he could see past the darkness to the asteroid moving away from Earth. 'As am I.'


	17. A Warrior's Place

**Author's Note: **Teal'c/Team friendship. Daniel/Jack friendship.

**The Warrior Recap:** _Teal'c and Bra'tac observe Kytano, once the First Prime of the Goa'uld Imothep deliver a speech rousing the Jaffa to freedom and declaring their planet a sanctuary. Bra'tac and Teal'c request assistance from the Tau'ri. Daniel says they should help; a free Jaffa army could upset the Goa'uld system and inspire other Jaffa. Bra'tac believes Kytano to be a great leader. Hammond agrees to a gesture of weapons, medical supplies and food. SG1 head out with Bra'tac and Teal'c to Kytano's planet where they also find Rak'nor._

_Rak'nor leads them into the camp. Sam and Jack both question the faith Bra'tac is putting into the Jaffa joining the rebel army. Bra'tac notes their ways are different. The martial art of Mastaba is being practiced by the Jaffa. When Bra'tac steps in to a training session, Rak'nor notes that Kytano teaches that one must commit fully to each strike and be willing to die. During a demo, Jack steps in when it looks like one of the Jaffa is beating up another. He notes that if everyone is willing to die; soon there is no army which is stupid. Kytano returns to much fanfare along with Goa'uld weaponry. He welcomes Jack and SG1._

_They demo the P90s. Rak'nor fires at a target with a staff weapon and hits it two out of three times. Kytano questions it when Sam steps up but Teal'c notes that she is a great warrior. Sam destroys the target, demonstrating her accuracy as a markswoman. Kytano accepts the gift of the weapons. They celebrate the alliance but Kytano and Jack rub each other up the wrong way, and it is clear Teal'c is being torn between his loyalty to SG1 and his people. As SG1 retire, Rak'nor encourages Teal'c to join them as does Kytano who notes that he has not abandoned his Jaffa history to lead the rebellion implying Teal'c perhaps has. Jack, Sam and Daniel note Kytano's leadership relies on the willingness of his followers to die; something Jack has a problem with. _

_The next day, SG1 accompany Kytano and his men on a raid. Kytano puts on a good show, convincing the Jaffa they are attacking to join them much to Teal'c's amazement and Jack's disbelief. They return to the planet where Jack and Teal'c disagree over Kytano. Jack continues to question Kytano who tells them they can leave. _

_Kytano briefs Teal'c on a mission to attack Yu. When Jack tells Teal'c not to do it; he refuses. Jack asks Kytano why he chose Teal'c, pointing out that Teal'c is a leader who Kytano may want to eliminate. Jack tries to make the point that Kytano is simply doing what the Goa'uld have been doing. Jack tells Teal'c that he won't recommend an alliance and Teal'c says they'll speak of it on his return; Jack notes he fears Teal'c won't return. Teal'c is captured and taken to Yu. _

_Jack orders SG1 to leave but as they dial home, the gate activates and Teal'c runs through, heading at a serious pace to the camp. They all run back to the camp. Teal'c challenges Kytano. They fight and Teal'c looks as though he is beaten but as Kytano admits he is really the Goa'uld Imothep, Teal'c finds the last of his strength and kills him. The rebel army follow Teal'c and flee as Yu attacks. _

**A** **Warrior's Place**

Chaos.

There was no other word for it. Jack O'Neill stepped away from the Stargate onto the Alpha site and looked out onto chaos. The entire space was filled with Jaffa. The noise level was incredible; crying, babbling, shouting. The Jaffa were angry and upset with good reason. They had been hoodwinked by a Goa'uld named Imothep who had pretended to be one of their own called Kytano. He had used the rebel cause to attract an army to do his bidding. Teal'c had unmasked him just before Yu had attacked the Jaffa planet. The disheartened Jaffa had followed Teal'c and escaped through the Stargate.

Jack ignored the noise and the chaos, his one immediate concern was to check on his team. His brown eyes scanned the crowds and his gut clenched tightly when he couldn't find them immediately. They had got through the gate; he knew that. He spotted a young Lieutenant attached to the Alpha site command and grabbed him as he went to run by.

The young man turned to yell at him and almost swallowed his tongue when he spotted Jack. 'Sir.' He came sharply to attention.

'Tanner,' Jack acknowledged crisply, 'start organising these people into groups; injured and walking.'

'Already on it, sir.' Tanner said crisply. 'Major Carter gave the order as soon as she came through the gate.'

Jack felt a small glow of pride, and a larger flood of relief. 'Where is the Major?'

'She's over by the DHD, sir.' Tanner waved over his shoulder.

'Carry on, Lieutenant.' Jack strode through the crowd with the only goal in mind to reach Carter. He hoped she would know the location of the rest of SG1. Given a direction, he spotted her immediately. She was kneeling by a protesting Teal'c. Their team-mate was lying on the ground in front of the DHD. He was in bad shape. Imothep had knocked him about some and Jack figured the bogus mission Teal'c had been sent on had resulted in one or two of the wounds that marked Teal'c's dark skin. Bra'tac hovered beside his former protégée and there was a bemused Airman looking on. Sam was pressing a wad of gauze to a bloody wound as Jack came to a halt beside her.

'Major.' Jack acknowledged Teal'c and Bra'tac with a brisk nod. 'Where's Daniel?' The archaeologist was the only member of SG1 unaccounted for and not present.

'He went to brief Colonel Sumner, sir.' Sam barely looked up as she continued patching Teal'c up.

Jack grimaced. Marshall Sumner was old school and Jack figured that the other Colonel wasn't going to be too impressed at the base being the new home to an army of rebel Jaffa or that he was being briefed by a civilian. He should head over to the command hut and run interference, Jack determined briskly, but there were a few other things to take care of first.

'I need to get Teal'c to the infirmary, sir.' Sam spoke before he could give the order.

'I am fine, Major Carter.' Teal'c said. He had a stubborn set to his lips and jaw.

'Go with Carter to the infirmary, Teal'c.' Jack ordered. He didn't wait for Teal'c's response but turned immediately to the older Jaffa. 'Bra'tac, I could do with your help organising these folks.'

'Whatever you need, O'Neill.'

'I can assist.' Teal'c made to get to his feet, an angry glower on his face.

Bra'tac placed a hand on his shoulder. 'O'Neill is right, Teal'c. You need to recover your strength. Allow us to organise your men.'

Jack didn't bother hiding the grimace that sprang to his worn features. Teal'c had won the right to lead the army; they were his men even if it was another complication they didn't need. Jack ignored the small protesting voice in his head that also noted Teal'c had all but resigned from the team before the whole unmasking of Kytano as Imothep.

'Very well.' Teal'c acquiesced grumpily. He allowed Sam to help him and his arm slid around Sam's shoulder. Jack spared her a sympathetic wince as she bore the Jaffa's weight and they headed for structure that housed the Alpha site infirmary.

'Bra'tac,' Jack said, returning to the matter at hand, 'we need to organise the wounded, get them sent to the infirmary building; everyone else needs to be moved away from the gate over to the camp area.' He pointed to the West.

'They will all need water, food, shelter.' Bra'tac commented even as he nodded in agreement.

'I'll go organise that.' Jack said briskly.

'Then we will take care of the rest.' Bra'tac inclined his head and moved away. Jack could see him beginning to do as he had asked, even corralling other Jaffa into assisting, and he gave a sigh of relief.

He looked at the Airman who had watched silently. 'Guard this DHD; no-one dials out without either Colonel Sumner's or my express permission; understood?'

'Yes, sir.' The Airman nodded.

Jack spun on his heel and made for the command hut without any further delay. He could hear the raised voices as he approached; Daniel's impassioned tones clashing with Sumner's hard head. He charged up the steps and through the door without knocking.

The sight was a familiar one; Daniel, hands gesturing wildly, his intelligent face flushed with argument and blue eyes heated with fervour. The archaeologist was furiously angry and didn't stop speaking despite Jack's entry. Jack wondered with grim amusement if Daniel or Sumner had even realised he had entered.

'…they need shelter.' Daniel flung a hand toward Sumner.

'I don't take kindly to be lectured to, Doctor Jackson.' The Colonel glowered, placed two hands on his desk and leaned over it. 'You're a civilian and I am in charge of this base, is that clear? I am not authorised to give any assistance to a whole army of Jaffa…'

'Rebel Jaffa.' Daniel corrected causing Jack to wince; Sumner hated being corrected.

'…and you had no business bringing them here without my approval.'

'Well, forgive me for not asking politely while we were busy getting shot at!' Daniel snapped back.

Sumner opened his mouth to yell back and Jack stepped forward hastily.

'Hey!' Jack swept his cap off his head and glared at Sumner; a subtle warning for the other man to simmer down.

Sumner straightened and glowered at Jack. 'O'Neill.'

Jack didn't break his eye contact with the other man. 'Daniel, go help Carter in the infirmary.'

'Jack…' Daniel began heatedly.

'Daniel,' Jack shot him a look, 'just…' he waved at the door.

The archaeologist scowled, turned around awkwardly and walked out.

Sumner sighed, his shoulders dropping a little with Daniel's exit. 'I don't know how you…'

'Don't ever talk to one of my team like that again, Sumner.' Jack bit out. His chocolate eyes heated with anger. 'You have a problem; you take it up with me.'

Sumner's eyes turned glacial and he stiffened. He stabbed a finger towards Jack. 'This is my command, O'Neill, and your team has compromised the safety of this base.'

'My team was under fire and needed somewhere which could handle shelter for an army.' Jack took a step forward. 'And if you want to get all official about it; they followed the new emergency protocol to dial here in such circumstances rather than the SGC.' He waited a beat. 'Now, are we going to continue this pissing contest or are you going to get off your ass, do your job and render assistance?'

There was a tense moment of silence while they glared at each other.

'I assume you'll report this to the SGC.' Sumner said as he grabbed his cap from his desk. 'I have a base to secure.' He marched out, pushing past Jack on his way.

Jack sighed. He rubbed a hand violently through his hair. He could hear Sumner yelling at his men, giving them orders to start taking a register; to post more men on the gate. Sumner was a good officer, Jack reminded himself; he was one of the best tacticians the SGC had. It was just a shame that he also had a giant stick up his butt.

He slapped his cap back on his head and walked back out into the camp. Sumner was right; they needed to report back to the SGC and Jack figured he had the perfect man for the job.

o-O-o

Daniel stormed across the camp to the infirmary. He was seething with equal parts anger, frustration and hurt. Anger because of Sumner's attitude; frustration at the military in general and its pigheaded Colonels, and hurt over the way Jack had dismissed him. He might as well have told him to get lost, Daniel thought furiously. Well, screw the both of them; he and Sam had followed protocol in dialling the Alpha site, not to mention it was the only place that either of them could think of that had anywhere near the capability of handling the needs of a Jaffa army. Luckily, most of the supplies and equipment from Earth's close run affair with an asteroid still hadn't been shipped back to the SGC.

He pushed past a line of waiting Jaffa outside the infirmary block and entered the reception area which had been turned into a triage zone he realised absently. It was a crush of Jaffa and nursing staff. He grimaced sympathetically at one of the nurses and slipped through to what he realised was a secondary assessment ward. He still couldn't see Sam and charged into the next ward. He spotted Teal'c immediately. He made his way over to the badly beaten Jaffa.

'Teal'c.' Daniel's worried eyes ran over his friend. Teal'c had taken some bad knocks in his fight with Kytano – or should he think of him as Imothep? – and unusually looked in pain. 'How are you?'

'I will be fine, Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c said firmly.

Translation; he was hurt but didn't want to admit how much. Daniel nodded in understanding. 'Have you seen Sam?'

'Her presence was requested in assisting the staff in rendering medical treatment.' Teal'c informed him. A flicker of tiredness drifted across Teal'c's face.

'You should rest.' Daniel said. He figured the Jaffa had a lot to consider. The whole affair with Kytano had raised some issues for Teal'c, specifically whether his place was with his people or with SG1, and probably more important, whether the Jaffa's friendship with Jack would survive the last few days of disagreement. The two had clashed badly over whether to trust Kytano and over the differences between the Jaffa and Tau'ri approaches to warfare and life.

Teal'c inclined his head as Daniel moved away and the archaeologist could see Teal'c's eyes drooping shut as he left. He almost hovered for a moment in the triage area, wondering if he should volunteer as a translator and feeling useless as he saw the nurses and Jaffa all managing to communicate without him. He had the same field medic training that all members of the SGC received, he thought determinedly; surely he could be of some assistance. He took a step towards a nurse and stopped as Jack entered the room and made for him.

'I need a word.' Jack said succinctly. 'Outside.'

'Now you want to talk to me?' Daniel asked sharply.

Jack didn't bother replying although his mouth tightened. He just turned and walked out. Daniel gave a sigh but followed after him. Jack led them back across the camp towards the gate at a brisk pace. Daniel noticed that Sumner had added two more armed guards at the DHD.

He frowned. 'Is that necessary?'

'Yes,' Jack said impatiently without explaining, 'it is.' He stopped abruptly just before the DHD out of listening range of any Jaffa and the guards. 'Look, I need you to go back to the SGC.'

Daniel froze as though Jack had slapped at him. 'What?'

'One of us needs to report back to Hammond.' Jack said crisply. 'He needs to know what happened with the whole Kytano thing, and he'll need to secure agreement from the Pentagon for the Jaffa to remain here.'

'And you want me to go because…'

'Because you might be able to explain to Hammond why we would want to assist a whole army of Jaffa.' Jack responded impatiently.

'But you don't agree.' Daniel surmised.

'Can we not get into this right now, Daniel?' Jack snapped.

They glared at each other.

Jack gestured at Daniel. 'Can you please just follow my order and report to Hammond?'

Daniel's lips thinned but he nodded.

'Thank you.' Jack said caustically. He headed over to the DHD and ordered the guards to dial Earth. He nodded at Daniel and walked away without saying goodbye or before Daniel could say anything.

Daniel felt his chest tighten at the other man's evident dismissal of him. The wormhole blossomed out in front of him and Daniel sent his IDC. He gave a nod of acknowledgement to the guards and headed into the shimmering blue puddle. He stepped out onto the ramp of the SGC, almost lost his footing and righted himself immediately.

General Hammond waited at the end of the metal walkway. His round face was bemused. 'Where's the rest of your team, Doctor Jackson?'

'They're at the Alpha site, General.' Daniel halted in front of the older man and grimaced. 'Jack sent me back to debrief you.'

Hammond motioned for Daniel to precede him out of the gate room; they headed to the General's office.

'What's all this about, son?' Hammond asked as he closed the door and made for his leather chair.

'Kytano turned out to be a Goa'uld.' Daniel reported crisply. 'Imothep to be exact.'

Hammond sat down heavily. 'That's not good news.'

'No and I'm afraid the news doesn't get any better.' Daniel gestured across the desk at the older man. 'Jack was suspicious of Kytano's methods so he had already decided against agreeing to an alliance.'

'I see.'

'Teal'c was convinced though. Kytano selected him for a special mission and Teal'c took it despite Jack's objections.' Daniel explained.

'I take it was a trap?' asked Hammond delicately.

'Yeah,' Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose, 'although from what we can gather, Yu, I mean the Goa'uld Yu not you,' he motioned at the General, 'Yu caught Teal'c but let him go after telling him about Kytano's true nature. Teal'c arrived back, yelling that the Jaffa had been betrayed and challenged Kytano. They, uh, had a traditional Jaffa fight to establish leadership.'

'Teal'c won, I take it?' Hammond inquired with a sigh, leaning back in his chair.

'He did and Kytano's was revealed as Imothep.' Daniel hurriedly finished. 'Only then, Teal'c told everyone Yu was about to attack, and then Yu attacked, and…'

'And you headed to the Alpha site as you were under fire.' Hammond concluded.

'Yes, with the, uh, rebel Jaffa army.' Daniel hovered nervously. 'Uh, I guess they're kind of Teal'c's army now.'

Hammond blinked at him. 'How many are we talking about exactly?'

'A few hundred Jaffa and, oh,' Daniel waved at him urgently, 'the Alpha site probably needs more medical assistance, General, there were wounded. I should have said before and…'

Hammond held up a hand and reached for his phone. He ordered a medic team to be assembled and another security contingent to head immediately to the Alpha site.

Daniel sighed in relief. 'With your permission, General, I'd like to return to the Alpha site…'

'Not right now, Doctor Jackson.' Hammond interrupted him almost desperately. 'I need you to brief me on this army and help me explain this whole situation to the Pentagon.'

Daniel felt his heart sink at Hammond's earnest expression. 'Right.' He sat down in the chair Hammond indicated with a sigh. He guessed nobody was going to miss him at the Alpha site anyway – certainly not Sumner, and he would be surprised if his own team even realised he wasn't there.

o-O-o

Teal'c stared up at the ceiling in the small infirmary ward and firmed his lips at the pain radiating through his body. Hours had passed since Yu's attack on Cal Mah, each wound, each pain served to remind Teal'c of his stupidity. Kytano was not Kytano. The Goa'uld Imothep had perpetrated a massive deception on the Jaffa. He had pretended to be one of their own. He had pretended to be honourable and noble. He had pretended to believe in the Jaffa and their freedom.

But it had all been a lie.

Teal'c's pride smarted. How had he missed it? How had he let himself believe in such a falsehood? He had been ready to renounce his position on SG1 and his place fighting with the Tau'ri to join Kytano. He had admired Kytano's charisma; his fearlessness; his adherence and passion for the Jaffa and their heritage.

He shifted in the bed and closed his eyes.

He had been unable to fully achieve kel no reem. His symbiote no doubt sulked at the death of another Goa'uld at Teal'c's hand. His healing was slow. The symbiote would heal him eventually, Teal'c knew that it would not endanger its own life, but it evidently intended for Teal'c to suffer in the interim. It was perhaps no more than he deserved for being fooled, Teal'c considered.

Again.

The thought was not a comfortable one. It had not been that long since Apophis had brainwashed him; made him believe that his fight for freedom was a lie. He had come back from that humiliation and had sought to free himself of the dishonour since. The fact that Apophis had used drugs to change Teal'c's beliefs did not alter his own mind that he should have been stronger. He still felt the mark of disgrace that he had betrayed his team-mates and betrayed his own heart.

Teal'c glowered. He had been brainwashed again and Kytano had needed no nishta to fool him. And once again, he had betrayed his team-mates. He had been willing to cast them aside and join with Kytano; to fight by his side. Teal'c's lips twisted. Kytano had been so believable. It had been a con and he had not been the only Jaffa to have fallen for it. The thought did nothing to comfort him.

O'Neill had known the truth.

That also did not sit well with Teal'c. It irked that the Tau'ri Colonel had seen something Teal'c had not; had been able to see through the tissues of illusion to the truth – that Kytano led the Jaffa as a Goa'uld would lead them. Kytano had been willing to sacrifice the lives of all the Jaffa who served in his army to achieve dominance – just like a Goa'uld. Teal'c could see the truth of that with Kytano's true nature revealed. Yet during the past few days all he had seen was a great Jaffa leader, prepared to die honourably as a warrior for the cause.

He remembered being annoyed at O'Neill for questioning Kytano's methods. The Jaffa had centuries of tradition as warriors. They had honour; were willing to fight and die for their cause. It was to be admired not mocked. Again and again at every turn it seemed as though O'Neill had berated the Jaffa way in favour of the Tau'ri. Teal'c had made allowances for his friend. O'Neill was stubborn and set in his ways. The Colonel had always had a penchant for disliking other cultural norms to his own. It was expected behaviour.

In hindsight, Teal'c could see that O'Neill's concerns had less to do with cultural differences and more to do with tactical risk and strategic use of resources. A wise warrior did not spend the lives of his army so meaninglessly. There were times when sacrifices were required but a good commander protected the lives of his men to achieve the mission; he did not squander them.

Teal'c had seen Apophis sacrifice many Jaffa for no reason; to hold a planet that had no value; to hold a line that had no meaning. Jaffa lives had no value to the Goa'uld. The Jaffa were no more than pawns on a chess board. And the Jaffa traditions, their own sense of honour played into the Goa'uld's way of war; the Jaffa believed to sacrifice one's self in war was a noble death. And Kytano had used that most cruelly. He had challenged the honour of the Jaffa in his army to his own ends. If a Jaffa believed a mission too risky, he was weak, not worthy of being considered a warrior. And so Jaffa after Jaffa had stood up to follow Kytano's instructions without question, without murmur, so that they did not have their honour questioned.

As Kytano had questioned Teal'c's honour.

It rankled Teal'c that he had allowed Kytano to distract him by playing on his vanity. He had been perturbed by Kytano's belief that he had turned his back on the Jaffa, that he had eschewed the ways of the Jaffa, that he had allowed the Tau'ri to influence him and his decisions.

The latter was only the truth, Teal'c surmised with weary acceptance. He had been influenced by the Tau'ri. He lived among them; he fought alongside them; they were his friends, his family. He respected O'Neill as a warrior, admired Daniel Jackson's humanity and stood in awe at Major Carter's brilliance. Yet he could not deny that he sometimes craved the company of other Jaffa; those who knew what it was to live under the rule of the Goa'uld, who understood the ways of the Jaffa.

He had achieved vengeance for his lover Sho'nac's death, killing her murderer Tanith, and while he knew his team-mates had understood his anger; they had not understood his reasoning. Revenge was a means of justice to the Jaffa; moreover, vengeance was a matter of honour. A true warrior would never let the dishonour of allowing a loved one to be murdered to stand as he had done for so long in allowing Tanith to live. Teal'c glowered. He had only done so to allow the Tok'ra to seed misinformation; to strike at the Goa'uld from within but it still needled at him that he had allowed the Tok'ra and the Tau'ri to convince him that his vengeance could wait – especially the Tok'ra who seemed to simply consider the Jaffa as collateral damage.

Yet he could not deny that the Tau'ri in particular had a strength of character that he respected. Their ways were not his but they yielded results; they defeated Goa'uld after Goa'uld. His team endured every challenge with tenacity and a courage that he had not expected. The Tau'ri were stubborn and remarkably resilient, and they stood against the Goa'uld defiantly.

They were still Teal'c's best hope for gaining freedom for his people. It was why he had stayed with them for so long; why he had eschewed leaving before despite the fact that he and Bra'tac had built a small following of rebel Jaffa on their own. He believed that fighting with the Tau'ri would ultimately and inevitably lead to the end of the Goa'uld.

Teal'c could see that Kytano's army had been a matter of pride for him. He had wanted to show O'Neill that the Jaffa were just as capable as the Tau'ri in standing against the Goa'uld; that they too could be an equal force to be reckoned with. He had allowed his pride to overcome his common sense, Teal'c realised with chagrin. He had shrugged away his own small embarrassments at his fellow Goa'uld's dismissal of the Tau'ri weapons and Kytano's questioning of Major Carter as a warrior because she was a woman, because he been so eager to prove the worth of the Jaffa. And so he had been blind to Kytano's falsehoods.

He opened his eyes abruptly feeling the approach of another person. He relaxed as Major Carter parted the curtains that were pulled around his bed and slipped inside. She looked worn. She had abandoned her jacket and vest; the long sleeved black shirt of her BDU was dirty and sweat-soaked. Her blonde hair looked lank and untidy. There were streaks of blood and mud on her pants. Her eyes were shadowed.

'Teal'c.' She placed a hand on his arm. 'How are you?'

'Doctor Fraiser has informed me that I will be fine, Major Carter.' Teal'c informed her. He had been surprised to see the SGC CMO some hours before but surmised that she had been called to the Alpha site to assist with the wounded. 'My symbiote is healing me.'

The Major nodded.

'Perhaps you can sit with me a moment.' Teal'c believed it was the only way she would rest.

'Just for a minute.' Sam acquiesced. She pulled up a chair and sank into it with a sigh. 'The Colonel and Bra'tac are organising everything still but I'm sure they'll be in to check on you later.'

Teal'c did not reply. He was not sure that he wanted to speak with either too soon. He knew both would require an answer to what he intended to do with the army he had acquired in killing Kytano and it was an answer that he had yet to determine.

'I saw Daniel Jackson when we first arrived but I have not seen him since.' Teal'c commented, diverting her attention.

'He went back to the SGC to report to General Hammond.' Sam informed him. She rubbed the back of her neck. Her eyes drifted back at Teal'c's. 'I'm sorry this didn't turn out the way you hoped, Teal'c.'

Teal'c inclined his head.

There was a sudden surge in noise outside of the ward and both of them turned in surprise.

'I wonder what that's about?' Sam was already getting to her feet to investigate.

'I will come with you.' Teal'c made to get out of the bed.

The curtains parted and both of them paused at the sight of General Hammond with Bra'tac. The Major made an effort to straighten.

'Sir.'

Hammond nodded at her. 'Major, if you could give us a moment.'

'Of course.' Sam shot Teal'c an encouraging look and left them alone. She pulled the curtains back around the bed again, giving them the illusion of privacy.

The General took the abandoned chair as Bra'tac moved to stand on the other side of Teal'c. 'I'm here to speak to you, Teal'c, leader to leader.'

Teal'c's dark eyes widened. He threw a glance to Bra'tac who nodded in approval. The General's visit accorded Teal'c proper respect.

'You honour us, Hammond of Texas.' Bra'tac said formally.

Hammond smiled. 'The honour is all mine.' He clasped his hands together. 'We have a proposal.'

'I am listening, General Hammond.' Teal'c agreed.

'Very well.' Hammond leaned forward. 'Firstly, let me just say that the Pentagon has agreed that we will cede this planet to the Jaffa.'

Bra'tac stirred restlessly. 'You offer too much.'

'Not at all.' Hammond said smoothly. 'SG1 had no choice but to bring you here; we accept that. However, in doing so, this planet is no longer a viable Alpha site for us.' He paused as Teal'c and Bra'tac assimilated that. 'We will be leaving whether you remain here or not.' He held up a hand before they could speak. 'While we trust you both implicitly, given Kytano's real identity,' he continued, 'there are concerns that not all the Jaffa who flocked to his banner are completely committed to your cause.'

Teal'c and Bra'tac exchanged a look; it was a valid concern.

'You are correct, General Hammond.' Teal'c conceded. He and Bra'tac had both trusted that Kytano had determined the heart of each warrior was true but they could no longer make that assumption.

'We're also aware that the Jaffa here are a mix of warriors, women and children which is another reason why we won't stay.' Hammond said. 'Military installations are a target and we don't believe in putting non-combatants in the firing line if at all possible.'

Bra'tac nodded.

'Instead, we will set up a new Alpha site at which we would like to invite you and the warriors you select to join us in a new joint alliance.' Hammond smiled at their evident surprise.

'Forgive me, but I am not certain I understand.' Teal'c said tiredly.

Hammond's lips twitched. 'Believe me, when Doctor Jackson put this proposal to me, I didn't understand first time round either.'

Teal'c felt his spirit brighten at the mention of his team-mate; if this had been his idea…

'We are offering an alliance with you and your army.' Hammond said clearly.

'I believe O'Neill was against such an alliance.' Teal'c murmured.

'I've spoken with him.' Hammond waved a hand at him. 'The Colonel's concerns were over the previous leadership and are no longer applicable.'

Teal'c lowered his gaze. He felt another wave of shame at not listening to O'Neill's worries about Kytano but more he felt humbled that O'Neill still had faith enough in him to agree to an alliance.

'If we do ally, we believe setting up an off-world facility would be a positive way forward. Doctor Jackson indicated that given our different approaches to fighting and training it would be useful for us to learn from each other.' Hammond said. 'We would permanently base some of the SG teams off-world. You would elect those Jaffa you feel are trustworthy and good warriors to be based there alongside them.' He gestured vaguely towards the door. 'This planet could remain the home location for their families or you could elect to move them elsewhere.'

'This facility you speak of would be for warriors only.' Bra'tac clarified.

'Yes.' Hammond nodded.

'And if we decline your offer?' Bra'tac said a little stiffly.

Hammond tilted his bald head. 'We would offer you some additional emergency aid to assist in getting you set up wherever you wish – food, tents, medical assistance – but whether we ally or you take the aid, or we leave you alone; either way it's your choice. I will be ordering all SGC personnel back to Earth in five days barring any request for continued support.'

Bra'tac looked at Teal'c expectantly. It was more than either of them had dared hope to gain and it was aid they knew they could not refuse.

'Thank you, General Hammond.' Teal'c said. 'I believe your offer of an alliance is most acceptable.'

Hammond beamed at him. 'That's excellent, Teal'c.'

Bra'tac adjusted his cloak. 'If you will excuse me, I will go and spread the news. This will help raise our spirits given what has occurred.'

Hammond stood up respectfully as Bra'tac departed. He sat back down and looked at Teal'c thoughtfully. 'I have to confess that there is another reason for us making this proposal, Teal'c.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

'Doctor Jackson made the point that in offering a joint venture, we may also be able retain your presence on SG1.' Hammond said bluntly. He rubbed his nose. 'I realise that you will feel a responsibility towards these men, Teal'c, but I firmly believe that you're still needed on the team.'

Teal'c stared at him, unable to believe what he had heard.

The General smiled. 'My motives are purely selfish, Teal'c. You're a valued member of the SGC. We would hate to lose you.' He stood up. 'Just know that we're prepared to make this work so you can spend time with the Jaffa and remain on SG1.'

Teal'c was speechless. It seemed too good to be true. He had thought he would have to leave them in order to fulfil his duty in assuming the leadership of the army. 'I do not have the words, General Hammond.'

'We achieve more together than apart.' Hammond said quietly. He motioned at him. 'I'll leave you to rest and think on it.'

Teal'c inclined his head. He settled back on the pillows. In making his leadership challenge, his only thought had been to unmask Kytano; he had truly not wanted the mantle of leader. He was prepared to acknowledge if only to himself that he had wanted to believe in Kytano so that he would no longer have to bear the burden. He could also admit to himself that he had not looked forward to fully assuming his place as leader.

Hammond's offer was generous. He could remain with SG1 and lead the Jaffa remotely with Bra'tac's help. He closed his eyes. Bra'tac would not be pleased, Teal'c mused. He knew his old mentor hoped Teal'c would return to the Jaffa fully. Yet Teal'c could not deny that his heart believed that it was only with the assistance of the Tau'ri that the Jaffa would be free.

More, Teal'c truly believed as Hammond in SG1 as a team even if it had been a difficult year for them all. Teal'c knew they had all drifted a little from each other. There was space and distance between them where once there had been none. But Teal'c also knew that SG1 came together when they were needed; worked as well as they ever did together. The question, Teal'c considered solemnly, was whether his team-mates would still want him after the events of the previous few days where he had all but abandoned them again. And he knew there was only one way to find out; he would need to ask them and request their forgiveness.

o-O-o

Daniel hovered outside the infirmary building and wondered how Teal'c was going to react to the General's proposal. He had suggested Hammond present the proposal in person as a token of respect and hadn't been too surprised when the General had requested he return with him.

The infirmary was quieter. There was still a few Jaffa waiting for treatment but it looked as though Doctor Fraiser and her team had managed to get through the crowd of those who had been injured in Yu's attack. The door opened and Sam half-stepped, half-stumbled through it.

'Woah.' Daniel grabbed her arm and steadied her. 'Are you OK?'

'I'm fine.' Sam grimaced.

'Uh-huh.' Daniel propelled her in the direction of the mess. 'When did you last eat?'

Sam frowned.

'That's what I thought.' Daniel muttered.

'When did you?' Sam asked pointedly.

Daniel opened his mouth to answer and then closed it with a snap. He risked a glance at Sam who smirked knowingly.

'OK,' Daniel said, 'we'll both get something to eat.'

'Deal.' Sam tucked her arm in his as they entered the makeshift commissary and lined up for food. They found a table in a quiet corner and sat down to eat.

Daniel wrinkled his nose at the indistinguishable stew. 'What is this?'

'I think it's better not to ask.' Sam forked up some and put it in her mouth. She swallowed and shrugged. 'It tastes better than it looks.'

'That's not exactly comforting.' Daniel muttered. He scooped up some and winced; there was a bitter, charcoal taste underneath the thick gravy.

'So, I take it General Hammond came to talk with Teal'c about what happens next?' Sam asked.

Daniel nodded. 'We're going to offer an alliance; a new Alpha site where some SG teams and Jaffa warriors that Teal'c and Bra'tac vouch for will be permanently based.' He made a vague gesture at the mess. 'We'll stay here only to offer aid and then leave it completely to the Jaffa.'

'Sounds like a great idea.' Sam commented. She motioned with her fork. 'Yours?'

He flushed and gave a brief nod. 'I just hope Teal'c will go for it and stay on SG1.'

Sam looked down at her meal. 'Do you think he would have really left?'

'If Kytano had been for real, you mean?' Daniel shrugged. 'I don't know.' His gaze dropped to his plate and he listlessly pushed the stew around the lumpy mashed potato. 'I mean, I can understand why he wanted to leave, might want to leave. It has to be hard for him being away from his own people. He fits in so well, I think we all forget that we have such a different way of life, he must question occasionally where he belongs.' He paused, wrestling with his own inner demons. He questioned where he belonged all the time, whether SG1 was the right place for him, and he still wasn't sure of the answer.

'Are you OK, Daniel?' Sam asked gently, reaching across to place a hand on his arm.

He looked up; she was gazing back at him with confused concern. He attempted a smile. 'Sorry. Just tired.'

She appeared for a moment as though she was going to argue but nodded instead. She squeezed his arm lightly. 'You know you can talk to me, right?'

Daniel nodded even though he shifted on the metal chair. He looked around casually. 'By the way, where's Jack?'

Sam withdrew her hand slowly. 'He's been overseeing getting the encampment set up before nightfall. He's probably still over there.' She scraped up the last of her stew. 'I should probably head back to the infirmary.'

'I'll come with you.' Daniel happily abandoned his meal. They dumped their trays and headed back together. The space in between the structures had been cleared and their path was clear. They could see the General saying goodbye to Bra'tac by the DHD. Daniel wondered whether Teal'c had accepted the alliance.

Sam turned at the sound of running footsteps. An Airman came to an abrupt halt in front of her. 'Ma'am, we're having some problems with one of the generators and Colonel O'Neill suggested that you might be able to fix it.'

Sam nodded. 'Lead the way, Airman.'

Daniel jerked his thumb at the infirmary. 'I'll, uh, go check on Teal'c.' He watched as she jogged away tiredly following the young Airman back to wherever the recalcitrant generator was located. He continued to the infirmary and made his way through to the ward where Teal'c was located. He pushed the curtain aside and stopped at the sight of Teal'c shrugging on a spare BDU jacket.

'Hey.'

Teal'c paused momentarily before continuing. 'Daniel Jackson.'

'Should you be up?' Daniel asked bluntly.

'I must check on my men.' Teal'c replied stiffly.

Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose. Teal'c had his 'you will not change my mind' look. 'OK.'

Teal'c inclined his head. They walked out together. Teal'c paused in the open air and breathed in deeply. He clasped his hands behind his back and looked up at the darkening sky.

'Will you walk with me, Daniel Jackson?' Teal'c asked solemnly.

'I thought I was.' Daniel said with a half-smile. 'At least until we stopped.'

Teal'c's dark eyes gleamed with amusement. 'Indeed.'

They set off again.

'General Hammond credited you with the proposal of an alliance.' Teal'c commented.

'It seemed like the right thing.' Daniel replied modestly.

'I have accepted.' Teal'c agreed.

Daniel hid his smile. 'That's great.'

'I believe an alliance will benefit us all.' Teal'c said firmly.

'Does this mean you'll stay on SG1?' Daniel asked.

Teal'c halted and turned to face Daniel without replying.

'Although I guess the question is do you want to be part of SG1 anymore?' Daniel asked bluntly. 'I kind of got the impression that part of why you wanted to join Kytano was because you were missing being around other Jaffa; being Jaffa.'

Teal'c nodded. 'You are correct, Daniel Jackson.' He began walking again, slowly, and Daniel walked beside him. 'I did not realise until the past few days that I have missed being with others who share the same heritage as I; that I have allowed so much of myself to be subjugated to the Tau'ri way of doing things.'

'It's only natural.' Daniel murmured without thinking. 'I did the same on Abydos.'

'The Jaffa have centuries of tradition.' Teal'c said gravely. 'We are a proud race; one that doesn't take well to criticism.'

Daniel sighed. 'Are you questioning everything because of Jack criticising you?' He glanced away towards the far side of the site where the Jaffa had encamped.

'I am not. O'Neill was correct to suspect Kytano of ulterior motives.' Teal'c's brow lowered. 'I see now that his words had more to do with his assessment of Kytano as a leader and were less a criticism of the Jaffa way.'

'Oh.' Daniel blinked. His quick mind raced over events and he slowly nodded in agreement. It was easy to dismiss Jack's concerns as a lack of respect for another way of doing things but the Colonel had been nothing if not military minded in his criticisms.

'I fear though that the Jaffa traditions enable the Goa'uld to control us more deeply than I had previously considered.'

'I guess that makes sense.' Daniel agreed. 'The Goa'uld created the Jaffa. They would have ensured that the traditions established were in line with their own agenda.'

'My time with the Tau'ri has shown me that not all Jaffa traditions are wise.' Teal'c confessed. 'You, Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill are as kin to me, and we achieve much as SG1. I would like to remain as part of SG1 if you are prepared to accept my pledge to fight alongside you once more.'

Daniel frowned. 'We never wanted you to leave, Teal'c.' Even if Daniel couldn't admit that his own feelings about staying on the team were shaky - not that he had any other place to go.

Teal'c stopped again. 'And what of you, Daniel Jackson?'

Daniel stared at him, taken aback that Teal'c had pinpointed his own unease. 'This isn't about me.'

His Jaffa friend bowed his head as though in agreement but his eyes remained on Daniel's. 'It is not easy to belong to two worlds but I believe it is harder to feel that you belong to none.'

Daniel couldn't answer him; couldn't reply.

Teal'c suddenly reached out and clasped his arm. 'Know that I am honoured to serve with you, Daniel Jackson, and to call you brother.'

'Me too.' Daniel stuttered. 'I mean, I'm honoured to serve with you.'

A flicker of a smile graced Teal'c's face before the Jaffa released him. 'I must speak with Major Carter.'

'She's working on a generator.' Daniel pointed in the general direction Sam had disappeared in.

'Then I will take my leave of you.' Teal'c walked away before Daniel could protest or request to accompany him.

Daniel sighed and rubbed the back of his neck as he wondered where to go next. He whirled back around to head after Teal'c and almost bumped into Colonel Sumner.

'Ah, sorry.' Daniel flushed. Why the hell was he apologising? He made to move past the Colonel.

'Doctor Jackson.' Sumner said, halting Daniel before he could take more than a couple of steps away from him.

Daniel raised an eyebrow.

Sumner straightened, his jaw tensed. 'I owe you the apology.' He pointed at Daniel with the clipboard he held. 'You followed protocol and I was taken by surprise.' He waited a beat as he held Daniel's gaze. 'I hate surprises.'

'Right.' Daniel crossed his arms. 'Well, thank you. I think.'

Sumner nodded with pursed lips. 'If you're looking for Colonel O'Neill he's in the command hut.' He turned and walked away.

Daniel rubbed his head tiredly. He was taken aback by Sumner's apology and inwardly acknowledged when all was said and done he would have preferred Jack to have apologised rather than Sumner. He straightened his shoulders and headed for the command hut. He knocked sharply on the door and entered without waiting for a reply.

Jack looked up briefly from the mess of reports he had laid out on the desk. 'Daniel.'

'Jack.' Daniel couldn't help noticing that Jack looked as worn as Sam had appeared earlier. The lines that marked Jack's face with character were deeper than ever; his eyes were guarded. He'd discarded his jacket and his dog tags gleamed brightly against the black t-shirt. His uniform and bare arms were marked with dirt and sweat. Daniel took a step toward the desk and searched for a safe subject. 'What are you doing?'

'Paperwork.' Jack said succinctly without stopping writing. 'So I heard about the alliance.' He glanced up. 'You really think it will work?'

'Yes,' Daniel retorted sharply, 'I do.' He felt his shoulders knotting with Jack's apparent disapproval and took a breath. 'Have you seen Teal'c yet?'

'I've been a little busy, Daniel.' Jack pointed out. He reached for the bottle of water on the desk and picked it up, gulping back half before he put it down.

'He's worried we don't want him on the team.' Daniel said bluntly.

Jack froze and Daniel felt a perverse flicker of pleasure that he had disconcerted the other man. Jack started scribbling again.

'Aren't you going to say anything?' Daniel burst out in a rush of frustration. He whirled and paced a couple of steps away from the desk before turning back and gesturing frantically at Jack. 'He could leave!'

'It's his choice, Daniel.' Jack said evenly, straightening. He tapped the pencil against the desk.

'Really.' Daniel drawled. 'And you'd be fine with his leaving?'

A muscle flickered in Jack's jaw and his eyes darkened. 'I didn't say that.'

'You have to know he's been questioning whether he belongs on the team, whether he shouldn't just leave.' Daniel argued passionately.

'Daniel…'

'Don't you care?'

'What the hell kind of question is that?' Jack demanded brusquely. 'Of course I care!'

'Then go find him; speak with him!' Daniel urged.

'And say what, Daniel?' Jack asked, tossing the pencil down.

'I don't know!' Daniel said, gesturing with one hand. 'God, how about you want him to stay? Or how about…'

'It doesn't matter what I want.' Jack cut him off.

Daniel blinked at him. 'You don't think it matters whether you want him to stay or not?'

'I don't think it matters my wanting him to stay if he really wants to leave.' Jack picked up the pencil again.

Daniel flinched and looked away from Jack. He stared sightlessly at the blank wall of the hut. His heart was pounding from the argument. He wasn't even sure he was arguing about Teal'c anymore…

'Daniel.' Jack's sharp call suddenly pierced the fog around him.

He spun around and found Jack frowning at him. He must have been trying to get his attention, Daniel realised.

'I should…' Daniel waved at the door.

Jack nodded slowly. 'Maybe you should get some rest. Sumner's converted the library hut to a temporary barracks. You can crash there.'

'Right.' Daniel took a step towards the door.

'Daniel.'

He looked back over his shoulder; Jack was focused on the reports again.

'Good work on the alliance thing.' Jack said without looking up.

Daniel pressed his lips together and nodded. Jack sounded sincere; maybe he even meant it. He opened the door and walked out.

o-O-o

Jack heard the door close and looked up. Daniel was gone. He put the pencil down and straightened. His back protested and he stretched trying to ease the kinks out of his spine. He'd helped erect more tents than he cared to remember and his muscles were letting him know exactly what they thought about his manual work. It wasn't his body's aches and pains though that worried him.

'Damn it.' Jack rubbed his face tiredly. Something was off with Daniel. He could feel it in his gut. So he'd been a bit short with him when he'd told him to report to the SGC but Daniel had done exactly what Jack had figured he would; he had found a way to make what had happened with the Jaffa work for them all.

Jack sighed. It had been a long day – a very long day. Maybe Daniel was just tired; maybe _he_ was just tired. He was definitely too tired to face having a long in depth conversation about Teal'c and whether he would stay on SG1.

He pulled up a chair and sat down heavily. His Jaffa friend was the leader of an army. In some ways it was a wake up call to Jack. He sometimes forgot that Teal'c had led armies before as a First Prime; that he followed because he wished to follow. And Jack knew Teal'c would feel a responsibility to his army. Teal'c had come close to leaving before when he had assembled a small group of Jaffa to help free SG1 from the Goa'uld Hathor. Teal'c had sacrificed much in his fight, how could Jack ask him to stay?

He swept a hand through his hair, dislodging the strands of grey until they were ruffled and awry. His mind drifted over his argument with Daniel. Of course he wanted Teal'c to stay, Jack thought defiantly; he would miss the Jaffa if he left. Teal'c had once called them brothers and Jack believed that they were despite their differences. He hated the idea of losing the Jaffa's steady presence in his life, his wise words and solid support.

There was a loud knock on the command hut door and Jack shook off his thoughts as he called for whoever it was to enter. His eyebrows rose as Teal'c walked in.

'Teal'c.' Jack scanned the Jaffa's pained expression. 'The Doc released you?'

'She did not.' Teal'c confirmed.

'Ah.' Jack nodded sagely, amusement lightening his mood. 'You escaped, huh?'

Teal'c inclined his head. 'I wish to speak to you, O'Neill.'

Jack picked up his water again and gestured for Teal'c to approach.

Teal'c came to a halt on the other side of the desk. 'I have accepted General Hammond's offer of an alliance.'

'I heard.' Jack tilted the bottle towards Teal'c. 'That's good news.'

'I am pleased you agree.' Teal'c said evenly.

Jack sighed and leaned forward. 'My problem was with Kytano,' he grimaced, 'Imothep, whoever he was, not with the alliance.'

Teal'c glowered. 'You were indeed correct about Kytano and his methods.'

There was a moment of silence. Jack figured there was nothing he could say that wouldn't come across as him saying 'I told you so.' He cleared his throat as the quiet stretched and he put down the water bottle with careful precision. 'You wanted to talk to me?'

Teal'c shifted his weight slightly. 'With your permission, I would like to rejoin SG1.'

'I wasn't aware that you had actually left.' Jack stated succinctly.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

Jack pulled a face and got to his feet. 'What about your army?'

'Bra'tac will assume responsibility for day to day matters.' Teal'c said firmly. 'I believe I can fulfil both of my obligations to my fellow Jaffa and to SG1.'

Jack held his friend's gaze. They would have to adjust to Teal'c spending more time with the Jaffa, he realised, but that was OK. He reached over and clasped Teal'c's shoulder, putting the difficulties of the past few days behind them. 'Permission granted.'

Teal'c's eyes revealed his relief at Jack's words. He turned to leave.

'Teal'c.' Jack's call stopped the Jaffa although he didn't turn around. 'It wouldn't be SG1 without you.'

The Jaffa lowered his head and walked away. Jack let out a breath slowly. SG1 was intact but he couldn't shake the feeling they were on borrowed time.


	18. Different Paths

**Author's Note: **Daniel/Jack friendship. Sam/Daniel friendship. Mild Sam/Jack UST. Daniel/Sha're.

**Menace Recap:** _SG1 is exploring a planet where what used to be an advanced civilisation seems to have been destroyed. They find a robot in a lab and take it home. Sam finds a way to activate it and they switch her on. The robot, Reese, seems confused. She asks about her father and is disturbed to hear her planet has been destroyed. Sam suggests to Jack that they might have missed something and he heads back to the planet where they worryingly find Replicator blocks. They debate whether Reese has some innate ability to repel the Replicators given that they left her alone when she was advanced technology. Daniel notes Reese is very child like but is definitely hiding something. Sam suggests its time they tell Reese the truth. Daniel informs Reese but she gets very upset and shoves him into a bookcase. Jack theorises that maybe Reese is broken or wasn't made right in the first place; maybe they should shut her down. Sam argues that if she managed to repel the Replicators they can still learn from her._

_Daniel goes back into see Reese who she tells him she made him something and gives him a Replicator which she calls a toy. They take it and put it in a glass box. Sam advises contacting the Asgard. Reese finally tells them the truth; the people on her planet were scared of her and her toys; she lost control and they destroyed her planet. She was alone so she went to sleep. As she gets emotional the Replicator becomes agitated and Teal'c has to destroy it._

_Hammond notes that they haven't been able to contact the Asgard. Daniel suggests Reese is just a child who accidentally taught her toys to be weapons of destruction but Jack disagrees noting she has lied to them from the beginning. Hammond notes they are over their heads and to shut the robot down until such time as they can contact the Asgard._

_Reese escapes; there are Replicators loose on the base. Reese gets into the gate room with her Replicators. Hammond agrees to let Daniel try and regain Reese's trust to shut her down. Jack says it's a bad idea. Reese lets Daniel into the gate room. Daniel asks Reese to stay; that he wants to be her friend. He promises to protect her. Reese seems to believe him but when he goes to shut her down, she grabs his wrist and injures him. _

_Jack leads an assault on the gate room as Sam and Hammond set the self-destruct. Daniel continues to plead with Reese as the base fights the Replicators. He finally tells her that she is made wrong; that only she can make the Replicators stop although unknowingly she is already beginning to lose control. Daniel tells Reese he's her friend; he'll protect her and just as he seems to be getting through, Jack bursts into the gate room and shoots Reese who goes to sleep and stops her toys. Daniel is furious at Jack but although Jack apologises, he notes it was the only way. _

**Different Paths**

Daniel Jackson was peripherally aware of Jack O'Neill striding out of the gate room, the hard edge of the Colonel's order to the rest of the men to remove the Replicators from the base resounding in his ears. The bugs had created a mess of blocks when they had ceased to function.

A mess. That was a good way to describe what had happened with Reese. The archaeologist swiped at his eyes and replaced his glasses. Reese lay motionless on the ground in front of him; her body sprawled where the impact from the bullet had tossed her. Her face was slack and lifeless. He slowly reached over with his good hand and closed her empty power hatch. Jack had taken the power cell to ensure that she stayed down. The hatch slid back into her neck. It sealed leaving no trace that she was robotic; an artificial life form. She looked like a young woman and if he ignored the bullet wound in her chest he could almost make believe that she was as they had found her; simply sleeping. Just like he had pretended Sha're wasn't dead but sleeping in the immediate aftermath of losing her.

Daniel felt more tears stinging his eyes and he clumsily brushed them away again. He got to his feet unsteadily unsure of where he was going. He looked down at Reese.

'I'm sorry.' He whispered. He had promised to be her friend; to protect her. They hadn't been meaningless statements to him or just a way of getting her to trust him so she would stop the Replicators. He had truly meant what he had said. He had wanted to be her friend; had wanted to protect her. He had failed.

The image of Jack bursting through the door with his gun, already taking aim, already firing before Daniel could move, could utter a word of protest was too vivid in his mind. He felt his heart squeeze tight with remembered panic, of the knowledge he couldn't keep his promise.

'_You stupid son of a bitch.'_

Had he really said that to Jack? Daniel blinked hard and stared upwards. In that moment he had been furiously angry at his friend or had he? Maybe the truth was that he had been furiously angry at himself for failing again. Maybe he had actually meant those words for himself. He flushed with shame as he cradled his wrist to his chest.

Jack had only been trying to protect him and the base. Daniel knew that. He had even told the others when he had been arguing to speak with Reese that if things went wrong he expected them to come rescue him – because that's what they did. Daniel talked and when that didn't work, when that got them into trouble, Jack would shoot things especially if he believed it was the only way to save them.

The only way.

He shook his head as he remembered Jack had said as much when he apologised – and he took a moment to wonder at that. Jack hardly ever apologised. Daniel wondered how pathetic he must have looked to have garnered an apology because he wasn't even sure it had been warranted despite his harsh words to the other man. The Colonel had had no way of knowing that Reese was complying with Daniel's pleas for her to shut down the Replicators. All Jack had known was that Daniel's original attempt to talk had provoked Reese to send her Replicators into battle; that the base was overrun with the metal creatures and that Daniel was trapped in a room with a robot who had already injured him once before. Moreover Jack hadn't trusted Reese at all after all her lies and half-truths. It hadn't been the only way things could have gone down – Daniel would never believe that – but he could understand why Jack had thought it was.

'Daniel?'

He turned to face Samantha Carter who looked back at him with a mix of inquisitive curiosity and compassionate sympathy. He gestured at the prone body on the floor. 'Jack shot her.'

Sam grimaced and stooped to check. She straightened and touched his uninjured arm gently. 'Are you OK? I saw her grab you on the monitors before she knocked out the surveillance.'

Daniel raised his damaged arm wordlessly.

Sam pushed up his sleeve and winced at the swelling and discolouration. 'You need to get to the infirmary. Come on.' She gently pushed him in the right direction.

'What about Reese?' Daniel asked, strangely reluctant to leave her.

'Siler's going to move her back to the lab.' Sam informed him as they stepped through the hole in the blast door.

Daniel pulled a face. He got to go to the infirmary; Reese to a lab. Because he was human and she wasn't. He nudged his glasses up and rubbed at his eyes. Sam's view of robots was closer to Jack's than his. Reese had been mostly an interesting puzzle to his scientist friend, one that could potentially help the Asgard in their fight against the Replicators. Nothing more; nothing less. Was he the only one who had seen Reese as a person? As a confused, emotionally insecure child who wanted desperately to belong somewhere?

Sam placed a comforting hand on his shoulder as they got into the elevator. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

Daniel sighed heavily and held his wrist to his chest gently. 'I only needed another minute.'

'She was losing control of the Replicators.' Sam replied, pushing her hands into her pockets. 'I'm not sure we had another minute to give you.'

'She shut them down, Sam.' Daniel said tiredly. 'The Replicators only stopped because she told them to not because Jack…' he couldn't complete the sentence.

Sam looked at him sharply. 'He thought you were in danger.'

'So he said.' Daniel snapped. He saw her look of surprise at his tone and waved his good hand in a vague unspoken apology. God, first he'd taken his anger at his failure out on Jack and now Sam. 'Sorry, it's just…'

'You wanted to save her.' Sam supplied when his voice trailed away again.

'Yeah.' He said bitterly. Only he hadn't. Just like he hadn't saved Sha're or Sarah.

The elevator stopped and Sam walked beside him down to the infirmary. The nurse directed them to a bed and Daniel hopped up. Sam went to get an icepack and returned with it a moment later. He winced as the cold hit his skin.

'It should help with the swelling.' Sam said softly.

'Thanks.' Daniel attempted a smile but Sam kept looking at him seriously as though he was a science equation she needed to work out. He looked away as his heart began to pound.

'Daniel, if you want to talk…' Sam began.

'Major Carter to the control room. Major Carter to the control room.' The announcement cut across her and Sam rolled her eyes.

'Go.' Daniel instructed. 'I'm fine.'

She looked at him sceptically. 'Are you sure?'

'I'm sure.' Daniel said. 'Go.'

She squeezed his good hand and hurried away. Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk with Sam, he assured himself, it was just…his lips twisted; it was just that he didn't want to talk with Sam.

He pushed a hand through his hair. He wondered when he and Sam had stopped talking. On one level, he believed that they were still as close as ever. They were more than friends; she was his sister in every way but blood. She understood him even when they disagreed. But there was no denying they had drifted apart as no-go areas entered their confidences. Maybe a part of him blamed her irrationally for that; Sam had fallen in love with Jack and it had created a 'keep out' zone between them especially since the couple had tried to put their feelings behind them and move on. They couldn't talk about it because if they did, it would mean that SG1 itself would be in question and Daniel couldn't risk that; the team was the only thing he had left. He felt guilty about that and resentful that he felt guilty. Yet Daniel knew he was equally at fault as Sam. He had his own no-go areas; Sha're, Sarah, his own sense of disconnection with everything.

He sighed. The truth was that he was scared to talk with Sam because he feared she'd see through his act. God, but he was so tired of pretending everything was fine.

'Hey. Sam told me you got into another tussle with the robot.' Janet Fraiser slapped on medical gloves as she approached him.

Daniel grimaced as she removed the icepack and started probing his wrist. 'Ow.'

Janet shot him an apologetic smile. 'I don't think it's broken but I'm going to send you for an x-ray just to make sure.' She stepped back, peeling the gloves from her hands efficiently and reaching for a clipboard to scribble her instructions.

'Perfect.' Daniel grimaced.

'Rough day?' Janet asked sympathetically.

'You could say that.' Daniel shrugged. 'Let's see; thrown into a bookcase, given a Replicator as a toy, tried to talk their robot creator out of destroying the base only for her to give me this,' he raised his wrist, 'not to mention Jack shooting said robot after I just promised to protect her.'

Janet opened her mouth to speak.

'And please don't tell me that he did it to protect me because I, uh,' Daniel looked down at the ground, 'I guess I know that already.'

'O-kay.' Janet folded her arms over her chest. Her dark eyes caught his determinedly. 'You want to tell me what else is going on?'

'Nothing.' Daniel shifted under the intensity of her dark gaze and flushed. 'I, uh, I kind of yelled at Jack.'

Janet's face softened at his admission. 'You really have had a bad day.' She commented wryly.

He managed a small smile.

'He'll understand, Daniel.' Janet assured him. 'It's not as though this is the first time the two of you have clashed heads over something.'

Daniel nodded. 'I just wish he'd given me more time to talk to Reese. I was getting through to her.'

Janet pressed her lips together and took a step closer to him. 'Daniel, have you considered the similarity of this with what happened with that computer entity last year?'

Daniel's eyes closed briefly. The year before the SGC had been infested with a computer entity after contacting an alien world. Jack had been vehemently against talking to the computer entity but had been overruled by the General. When Sam had stepped forward to talk to it, the entity had possessed her. Jack had believed he had killed her along with the entity before they had successfully managed to reintegrate Sam's consciousness into her body.

The situation with Reese did have some parallels, Daniel realised. The entity had been software; Reese hardware. Daniel had wanted to talk with her; Hammond had overruled Jack to allow Daniel to go into the gate room. Jack would never admit it but it must have made Jack even more worried about the danger when things had gone wrong with Reese and the Replicators had attacked. Jack must have feared Daniel was already dead when he barrelled into the gate room. Daniel reopened his eyes and found Janet gazing back at him understandingly.

Janet patted his arm. 'I'll send someone to take you to x-ray.' She walked away, leaving Daniel alone with his thoughts.

He had screwed up, Daniel thought tiredly. He had screwed up with Reese; if he'd been able to talk her down in the first place, Jack would never have had to shoot her. And he had screwed up with Jack; yelling at his friend because it was easier to blame Jack but it wasn't Jack's fault; it was his. Daniel's lips twisted. So, no change there, he mused bitterly; it was just one massive screw up after another.

o-O-o

Jack wiped his brow and rubbed his hand through his sweat soaked hair as he took the stairs into the briefing room. He needed a hot shower and a cold beer, not necessarily in that order. It had been a hell of a day.

Hammond strode out of his office. 'Colonel?'

'All evidence of the Replicators has been eradicated, sir. We've done two sweeps and haven't found any sign that there were any more.' Jack reported briskly, absently noting that the General had changed out of his fatigues and back into his usual uniform of pants and short-sleeved shirt.

'That's good news.' Hammond said. 'I'll take the base off lockdown.' He gestured at Jack. 'Do you happen to know what happened to the power source for the robot, Colonel?'

'I have it, sir.' Jack confirmed.

'Give it to Major Carter.' Hammond ordered. 'She'll pack it away with the robot.'

Jack pulled a face. 'We're still keeping that thing around?'

'Believe me, Colonel, I'm not thrilled about it myself.' Hammond said, letting some of his unease show on his rotund face. 'But the Major believes the Asgard may still find it of some use.'

'Of course she does.' Jack commented dryly.

Hammond shot him a chiding look. 'It could be the answer to solving the Replicator problem, Colonel.'

'So everyone keeps telling me.' Jack rolled his shoulders, trying to ease the tension from his muscles.

'The robot is being packed up and placed in storage.' Hammond said mildly. 'The Major will pack the power cell separately just to ensure that it cannot reactivate.'

'Good to know, sir.' Jack returned with enough of his usual sarcasm that Hammond smiled.

'The day the Asgard pick that thing up is not a day too soon.' Hammond admitted, relaxing a little. His face flushed red. 'I don't mind telling you that the thought of those bugs getting off this base scared the hell out of me.'

'Yes, sir.' Jack said softly. He doubted whether the skittering sound of the metal Replicators over the concrete floors and walls of the SGC was going to leave him any time soon either.

Hammond gave him a nod of acknowledgement and turned to leave. He paused momentarily by his door. 'Good work today, Colonel.' He was in his office and the door shut before Jack could protest.

He didn't think it had been a good day's work. So they had saved the base from Repliactors; neutralised the threat the robot Reese posed…all Jack could remember was Daniel's tear-filled and accusing gaze looking back up at him.

Damn it. What had the archaeologist expected? No matter which way he looked at it, Jack couldn't see how it could have gone any other way. The Replicators had been attacking; Daniel had been locked in the gate room with the robot. Jack was responsible for ensuring Daniel got out in one piece; Daniel, not the damn robot. His jaw clenched as he whirled around and headed for the elevator. He would do it again; shoot it again. Maybe it was the answer to solving the Replicator problem but in his mind, the robot posed too much of a threat.

He punched the elevator call button and waited impatiently until it arrived. He stepped in as the doors were still opening and greeted Teal'c almost absently.

'Major Carter sent me to find you.' Teal'c bowed his head in acknowledgement of Jack's offhand 'hey.'

'She wants the power cell, right?' Jack said shortly.

Teal'c nodded. 'She believes it would be prudent to keep all the robot parts with the robot for ease of discovery once the Asgard make contact.'

'I think it would be prudent to send the thing back to the rock where we found it and the Asgard can make their own house call.' Jack rejoined.

The Jaffa looked at Jack carefully before turning his attention to the floor indicator. 'Something troubles you, O'Neill.'

Jack fidgeted. 'I'm fine.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

Jack pointed a finger at him and scowled. 'Don't give me the eyebrow, Teal'c.'

His Jaffa friend simply continued to look at him evenly.

Jack looked away. 'Daniel said it was shutting them down.'

'I saw no evidence that the Replicators were ceasing their attack prior to you disabling the robot.' Teal'c clasped his hands behind his back.

'Neither did I.' Jack drew his shoulders back in righteous agreement. The Replicators had been attacking when he'd shot it. He breathed out. Daniel had been wrong. He felt some of his guard drop. 'Daniel thinks I killed the only solution to the Replicators.'

'Do you not believe the robot is of value, O'Neill?' Teal'c asked calmly.

'Of value? Yes.' Jack answered without hesitation. 'Worth keeping alive and risking us getting our asses kicked by her toys? No.'

'I am in agreement with you.' Teal'c's heavy features assumed a serious cast that Jack appreciated. 'The robot was a threat to the security of this planet.'

'Thank you!' Jack said loudly.

'However,' Teal'c cautioned, 'I also believe Daniel Jackson viewed her more as a flawed individual capable of redemption.' His lips pursed thoughtfully. 'He is a man of great compassion.'

Jack sighed. 'Daniel has to learn that he can't save everyone.'

'Perhaps it would be wise for you to speak directly with Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c murmured.

'Perhaps.' Jack repeated tightly. He motioned at Teal'c. 'You heading back to your army?' The Jaffa had acquired a rebel force a couple of weeks before. They had worked out a good arrangement; Teal'c spent his off duty hours with the Jaffa army, helping Bra'tac sort out the warriors that would be assigned to the new Alpha site. He returned to the SGC to complete his work on SG1. It was working well.

'Indeed.' Teal'c murmured.

The elevator doors opened on cue and Jack surged out. He just wanted to give the power cell to Carter and head home. Despite Teal'c's urging Jack felt it would be wise to leave Daniel alone for a night to let him get past events before they talked. His face screwed up in anticipation of the talk – he was damned if he was apologising again.

Jack charged into the lab and stopped. He felt Teal'c stop abruptly just behind him in the doorway. The robot was laid out on the steel table. She was already in a body bag which had been left partially unzipped. She looked eerily similar to when they had first found her; as though she was simply sleeping.

'Is it…?' Jack waved at the robot and looked at Carter urgently.

'She's deactivated, Colonel.' Sam assured him. 'There are no energy readings being emitted from her at all.'

Jack breathed a sigh of relief. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the power cell. 'Here.'

Sam took it from him with a grateful smile. She slipped it into a small plastic bag and sealed it. She placed it in a box, locked it and placed the box on the robot's chest within the body bag. She zipped it up. Jack looked around the lab as though noticing for the first time that the final member of SG1 was not present.

'Where's Daniel?' He asked aiming for a casual tone.

Sam frowned. 'He must still be in the infirmary.'

'The infirmary?' Jack's heart slowed uncomfortably. Daniel had seemed fine when the archaeologist had been chewing him out. 'He was injured?'

'His arm.' Sam said succinctly. She hesitated as though she had more to add; Jack read the indecision on her face.

'Out with it, Carter.' Jack demanded brusquely. 'What else?'

Sam darted a look at Teal'c before she sighed. 'Has Daniel seemed OK to you recently, sir?'

Jack wasn't surprised at the question. He glanced at Teal'c who looked back inscrutably. Jack looked back at Carter. He had thought something was up with Daniel for a couple of weeks but he had assumed he had been the only one to notice. Stupid really, Jack thought wryly. Teal'c observed more than most people gave him credit for and Carter had always been close to Daniel.

'I'm sure it's nothing.' Sam said hastily. She made a vague, awkward motion with one hand.

But it was probably something and it was his job as leader to fix it. He mentally waved goodbye to his beer. Jack swept a hand through his hair again. 'I'll go check on him.' He said evenly. 'You get that…' he waved at the robot, 'packed up and into storage.'

'Yes, sir.'

Jack wandered back into the corridor. He took a moment to gather his thoughts before he made his way to the infirmary. Talking with Daniel was sometimes the equivalent of playing an intricate game of chess, and Daniel was no slouch at chess. It was much more difficult when Daniel didn't want to talk. For an advocate of discussion and diplomacy, Daniel could be remarkably tight-lipped about his own issues. And evidently whatever was bugging Daniel wasn't something he wanted to talk about otherwise he would have already confided in Carter or Teal'c. Jack's lips twisted.

He had thought things were just getting back on track with the team. It had been a difficult year. Guilt rippled through him. Some of it was his fault, he acknowledged inwardly. He had gotten too close to Carter and had allowed his feelings for her to show too much. He believed that it had led to Carter being placed in danger when a computer entity had chosen her. He had killed her and while they had managed to save her, afterwards he had known he had to reinstate their professional boundaries to protect her despite knowing that she returned his feelings. It had been hellish – on them, on the team. If ever Jack had wondered why the regulations prohibiting romantic relationships existed, the past year had given more than enough evidence in support of them.

Unfortunately, Jack considered as he eschewed the elevator and took the stairs, his attempts at moving on hadn't been all that successful. He was just as in love with Carter as ever. What he had got better at was hiding it. She would never know how he felt and she could continue to move on with her life. Jealousy rolled through him at the idea of her finding someone but he wanted her to be happy; she deserved that. Since her abduction by Adrian Conrad, they had re-established their friendship though and Jack was more grateful than he would ever admit to that they had. He couldn't be with her but he could be her friend and that was enough – would have to be enough. Which brought him back to his original thought; with his relationship with Carter stabilised, the team had just settled back into a good place.

Jack pushed open the stairwell door and strode down the corridor towards the infirmary. He found Daniel sat on a bed in a treatment room. He squared his shoulders and approached.

'Daniel.'

Daniel's head snapped up. The red-rimmed bright blue eyes reminded Jack that the archaeologist was upset. 'Jack.'

Jack hovered uncertainly. He wet his lips and pointed at Daniel's arm – it was covered by an icepack and colouring beautifully to a vivid purple. 'How is it?'

'Not broken.' Daniel said succinctly.

'Good.' Jack winced. 'That's good.'

The two of them looked at each other.

'So…'

'I'm sorry.'

Jack stared at Daniel. 'You're sorry?'

Daniel nodded sheepishly, averting his eyes from Jack's openly shocked expression. 'I, uh, I know when you shot Reese, you believed you were protecting me and the base, well, Earth, really, and I, uh, I kind of forgot that.' His eyes darted back to Jack's. 'I don't agree that it was the way it had to go down; I don't think I'll ever agree on that but I…' he sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose, 'I shouldn't have spoken to you the way I did.'

Jack felt breathless, like he had been sucker-punched and in some ways, he thought amused, he had been. He sat on the opposite bed and clasped his hands loosely between his knees as he leaned forward. 'What's going on with you?'

It was Daniel's turn to look taken aback. 'Me? Uh, nothing, really, I'm fine.' He stammered out.

'No,' Jack insisted even as a part of him argued to let it go, 'you're not.'

They stared at each other across the tiny space separating them.

Daniel cracked first. He looked away, dropping his gaze to his injury, but he remained silent.

'Daniel,' Jack sighed, 'I get that you don't want to talk about whatever this is, and believe me, I would rather chew nails, but…' he left it dangling.

'But.' Daniel repeated softly. He looked everywhere but Jack. For a long moment, Jack figured Daniel wasn't going to cave. 'Do we have to do this here?'

It wasn't a promise of talking but it was a start. Jack slid off the bed. 'Hammond's taken the base off lockdown. I'll get changed and give you a ride home once you're done getting your arm strapped. We can get pizza.'

Daniel nodded slowly.

Jack patted the bed and walked away slowly. He paused in the doorway and looked back. The younger man remained hunched over on the infirmary bed; defeat written in the set of his shoulders and despondent face. It unsettled Jack and he turned away, walking swiftly down the corridor rather than remain looking at Daniel. He only knew that whatever it was Daniel didn't want to talk about it, he suddenly had a gut feeling that he probably didn't want to talk about it either. But he would talk about it; they had to because whatever it was, they had to fix it.

o-O-o

The apartment seemed much smaller with Jack, dressed in civvies of khakis and sweatshirt, sat on his sofa, beer in one hand, watching Daniel's seldom used television with the sound on mute and waiting impatiently for the pizza to be delivered. Daniel had excused himself on the pretext of needing to change. Undressing and redressing was excruciatingly painful with his strapped up arm and at one point he had almost asked Jack to help him. He ended up giving up on the jeans and settled for sweats. He finally shuffled back into the den and sat down grumpily in the only comfy chair.

Jack shot him a look and got up. A minute later, the hard surface of a glass nudged Daniel's shoulder and he reached up with his good hand to take the water Jack had got him. Jack handed him some painkillers silently.

The doorbell rang.

'I'll get it.' Jack said dryly. He walked over to the door, leaving Daniel to swallow the painkillers. Daniel heard him greet the pizza guy and he set the water down as Jack walked back with the pizza box. He placed it on the coffee table and flipped the lid before he disappeared into the kitchen and rummaged for napkins. He handed Daniel a wad of them before he sat back on the sofa and grabbed a slice, stuffing it into his mouth.

Daniel inched forward and took a slice. His stomach rumbled appreciatively at the smell of baked bread, spicy tomato sauce and melted cheese. He was suddenly hungry and he vaguely realised that he hadn't eaten since breakfast. The aromatic pepperoni had his mouth watering before he had taken his first bite.

There was nothing in the apartment for five minutes other than the sound of chewing. Daniel grabbed the last slice as Jack wiped his fingers off and threw the napkin into the empty box. Daniel took his time eating; he knew when it was over Jack would expect him to start talking and he had no idea what he was going to say.

He didn't know what surprised him most; that Jack had realised that something was wrong or that the other man was insisting they discuss it. Probably the latter, Daniel mused as he licked tomato sauce off one finger. Jack was fairly observant where the team was concerned. He generally knew when something was off with one of them. He had to, Daniel considered seriously; it was Jack's job as CO to ensure they all were capable of fulfilling their duties, that there was nothing preventing them from functioning at top efficiency. Usually Jack left them to work out stuff and only intervened when they failed to do so. Which meant, Daniel realised with a sinking heart, that if Jack was confronting him on it, the Colonel had spotted it before the outburst in the gate room that day.

'You want to play a game of chess?' Jack asked, grabbing Daniel's attention.

Daniel blinked and realised his hand was empty; the pizza was gone and the time of reckoning was at hand. But if Jack wanted a game of chess…

'Sure.' Daniel sank back when Jack waved at him to stay put. The painkillers were beginning to kick in and he gingerly moved his bad arm to rest against a cushion as Jack set up the board.

Jack took a sip of beer and moved a pawn.

They played a few moves in silence, both of them focused on the game. Daniel was simply grateful for the delay. He shifted a knight and Jack moved to take a rook.

'So, what's going on?' Jack asked with a studied casual air.

Daniel frowned, a faint hint of panic taking hold as his gaze shifted to Jack. The older man was looking at the board. The game had been a tactic, Daniel surmised. Jack had meant to distract him and catch him off kilter…or put him at ease by not making it all about 'The Talk'; one or the other. He took one of Jack's bishops. 'I don't know exactly.' He muttered.

'Try.' Jack said, moving another piece to safety.

Try. It sounded so easy. Daniel considered the board. He moved a pawn and reached for the beer he hadn't touched. Dutch courage. 'Did you mean it when you said you wouldn't ask Teal'c to stay if he wanted to leave?'

Jack stared at him blankly for a long moment evidently taking time to place where he had made the comment to Daniel. It had happened when Daniel had gone to urge Jack to talk Teal'c into staying on SG1 despite becoming the leader of the rebel Jaffa. Jack had responded that if Teal'c wanted to leave, his wanting him to stay wouldn't matter. Jack's thumb worried at the label on the bottle. 'My point was that if Teal'c wanted to leave then my asking him to stay wasn't going to make any difference to the outcome.'

'You don't think he would want to know?' Daniel asked mildly.

The Colonel moved his pawn again before he answered. 'I would hope Teal'c would always know that my default position is that I want him to stay.' His gaze didn't shift from the board and Daniel realised Jack was uncomfortable with the question and the admission.

Daniel studied the board. He made his next move before he took another gulp of beer. 'So you think because Teal'c should know that you want him to stay that actually telling him wouldn't alter his decision to leave if he really wanted to go.'

Jack sighed and pointed his beer bottle at Daniel. 'We're not talking about Teal'c, are we?' His dark, guarded eyes pinned Daniel's ruthlessly.

Daniel could feel the flush spread up his neck and across his cheeks. 'I guess not.'

They looked at each other for a long moment. Daniel could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He cleared his throat. 'It's your move.'

Jack raised an eyebrow but his eyes dropped to the board and Daniel hastily took another gulp of beer. He lost another rook as Jack moved his knight.

The Colonel before he sat back from the board. 'You want to leave.'

'I don't know.' Daniel wet his lips as he regarded the trap Jack had constructed on the chess board. He sacrificed two pieces in his head and shifted his King. 'I don't think it's so much that I want to leave as it is that I'm just not sure I'm doing much good by staying.'

Jack moved faster to play his move than Daniel expected. He didn't take the obvious sacrifice Daniel had positioned and took another piece instead. 'That has to be the stupidest thing you've ever said to me.'

The blunt harsh words prompted Daniel into a glancing look at his friend. He found Jack scowling back at him.

Jack gestured with his beer bottle. 'You just helped save the world from an asteroid not to mention that our alliance with Teal'c's merry band of rebel Jaffa is mostly down to you negotiating the deal with the Pentagon. You do good, Daniel.'

'OK, so maybe once in a while,' Daniel conceded, 'but you have to admit, Jack, it's never enough.' He moved another pawn into the firing line. 'Every time we defeat a Goa'uld another one springs up. A part of our own government has tried to kill us,' and that had stung badly knowing that their efforts were so unappreciated, 'and we've lost people.' Too many people. Daniel found himself blinking back tears unexpectedly and he looked over at the picture of Sha're on the side table.

'It's a war, Daniel.' Jack responded, taking another of Daniel's pieces as he countered Daniel's clumsy offence.

Daniel bristled. He got what Jack was saying. Wars were brutal and violent by their nature; they ebbed and flowed. Battles were won and lost; people were saved and sacrificed. For every victory won, there was a defeat. They had allied with the rebel Jaffa but lost the Tollan; saved Earth from Anubis but seen the Tok'ra scattered through the galaxy as Anubis attacked their bases. Intellectually he could understand it, but he was uncertain that he would ever be able to accept it.

'It didn't feel like a war in the beginning.' Daniel muttered.

'No.' Jack agreed. 'It didn't.' He looked up and caught Daniel's eyes. 'It's been a tough year.'

Daniel moved another piece almost without thinking and jerked his gaze away from Jack. He stared sightlessly at the board in front of him. 'I just want to make a difference.' He said out loud, giving voice to the desperate need that had been nagging at him for so long. The silence stretched and rubbed against Daniel's raw emotions like sandpaper on wood.

'Is that what today was about?' Jack asked quietly as he moved his knight.

'Maybe.' Daniel admitted as he shifted another chess piece to safety. He rubbed his forehead with his good hand. 'I was so sure that I could talk her down.'

'And if you had you would have saved the base and potentially provided the Asgard with the solution to the Replicators.' Jack completed, advancing forward on the chess board. He tugged at the label on the bottle.

'If I'd had another minute…' Daniel said defensively. He sacrificed his Queen.

Jack grimaced. 'But I didn't give you it.' There was a gleam of understanding in his dark eyes as if for the first time he truly got why Daniel had been so upset with him beyond the obvious difference in their approaches.

'I know you felt you couldn't take the risk.' Daniel replied with a sigh. He watched as Jack won the game.

More silence.

Daniel figured Jack was trying to work out what to say to him. He motioned with his beer. 'It's OK, Jack. You don't need to give me a pep talk.'

'I don't.' Jack lifted the bottle to his lips again and tilted it, draining it. 'Well, that's a relief.'

There was a caustic edge to Jack's voice that had Daniel wincing.

'Look,' Jack set the bottle down, 'dealing with the reality of a war is hard on everyone,' he pulled a face and Daniel caught a glimpse of just how exhausted his friend was before the military façade and bravado slammed back into place. 'It's not like you're even trained for it.'

It was true, Daniel realised. Jack and Sam were both Air Force; they had trained for war, and Teal'c's cultural ethos was all centred on war. Maybe that explained why they seemed to cope so much better than him, Daniel considered tiredly. His profession was archaeology. He had been an academic before Abydos and the Stargate programme. He hadn't ever wanted or thought that he would ever be a foot soldier in a war with an alien race.

'You need to let me know if this getting too much for you to handle.' Jack said bluntly.

The statement rocked Daniel, panicked him. 'I can handle it.' He shot back.

'Are you sure?' Jack pressed. His dark gaze bore into Daniel's.

He hadn't been handling it, Daniel conceded with some chagrin. 'I can handle it.' He repeated firmly.

Jack looked at him for a long moment that had Daniel feeling like he was a bug under a microscope. 'OK.'

'OK?' Daniel blinked at Jack in surprise.

'OK.' Jack said again. He pointed at Daniel. 'But I'm trusting you to tell me if you can't.' He grimaced. 'I need to know you can do this.'

Daniel nodded slowly. It was fair. As a team, their lives depended on being able to count on one another out in the field. Jack had to trust that Daniel could deal with the reality; that it wouldn't tear him up inside, that he wouldn't let it.

Jack got to his feet. He picked up his jacket from the back of the sofa and shrugged into it. 'You going to be OK?'

It wasn't meant to be a loaded question but Daniel's lips twisted anyway. 'I'll be fine.'

The older man hesitated as he straightened the leather collar. But he seemed to think twice about staying. 'I'll pick you up tomorrow. Give you a ride into the base.'

'Thanks.' Daniel walked Jack to the door and closed it firmly behind him. He threw the lock and secured the chain. The apartment seemed suddenly empty and vast. Daniel ignored the loneliness that crept back over him and wandered back through to the sitting area. He picked up his discarded beer, pulled a face and set it down again.

Daniel blinked. He actually felt better, he mused ruefully. He might not have wanted to talk with Jack but it had helped a little. Jack was right; they were at war and war was tough and unyielding. He could handle it, Daniel thought determinedly; he could. He needed to if he was going to make a difference. Maybe he would still get a chance to make up for his failures. He reached for the picture of his wife.

His fingers traced over her dark features; the curly waterfall of hair, the shimmering chocolate of her eyes, the pout of her lips. He had loved her so much. Still did. He hugged the picture to him, closed his eyes and curled up around it. He had lost her and lost his purpose; he needed to make a difference…

'_Why is that important?' _

_Daniel's eyes snapped wide open. Sha're's son sat across from him on the sofa. He looked no different than the last time he had set eyes on him; a young boy in robes and surrounded by a faint glow. 'Shifu.' He shifted to look at him fully. 'Are you here?'_

_Shifu smiled enigmatically. 'You did not answer the question.'_

_He pushed his glasses up his nose. 'Don't you think making a difference is important?'_

'_Oma teaches that one pebble cannot truly change the flow of the river.' Shifu replied._

Daniel jerked awake with a start. His heart was pounding. The apartment was empty. He rubbed his chest and took a deep breath. It was a dream. Probably caused by drinking beer on top of the painkillers. He closed his eyes again. He was so tired. It was only a dream…

o-O-o

Oma perched on the arm of the sofa and placed her hand on Shifu's shoulder. 'You should not be here.'

'I feel responsible for his choice.' Shifu said, gathering his robes around him. He turned to her with pleading eyes. 'For the one he has made and the one he will make.'

'His fate remains in his hands.' Oma chided him. And she believed deeply that Daniel Jackson's journey was not over.


	19. Survivors

**Author's Note: **Team friendship.

**The Sentinel Recap:** _SG9 is overdue on P2A018, Latona, a planet which was visited by a rogue NID team and which has some kind of weapon to defend the planet against a Goa'uld. The SGC contacts the planet but gets a report from Grogan that the planet is under attack and the fabled weapon hasn't worked. SG1 and Hammond note that it appears that the NID destroyed the Sentinel. Sam notes that they'll probably have to talk with Colonel Greaves and Lt Kershaw who were part of the team. Jack goes to see Greaves; he argues for SG1 to take him and Kershaw to fix the Sentinel. _

_SG3 heads out first to the planet to secure the gate with Teal'c. Jack tells Daniel Greaves and Kershaw have been saved from a life sentence for helping. They meet up with Grogan. He is the only surviving member of SG9. Jack goes with Grogan back to the city to meet the leader, Marul, to offer help while Sam leads SG1 onto the Sentinel._

_Jack meets up with Marul but the leader can't imagine the Sentinel not working. Meanwhile Daniel helps Kershaw and Greaves with the force-shield. Outside the Sentinel, a Jaffa patrol turns up and while Greaves goes to help Sam and Teal'c defend their position, Daniel manages to get the force-shield down._

_The Goa'uld mothership arrives and attacks the city while a patrol continues to attack the team at the Sentinel. They hide behind the force-shield but Kershaw is badly injured. When Daniel manages to translate some of the symbols correctly stating that two become one, Kershaw questions whether the caretaker, a Latonan man who surprised them and who Greaves shot, maybe had a part to play beyond protecting the device. _

_In the city Jack and Grogan are captured. They are taken before the team at the Sentinel. Jack orders Sam to blow up the device but Greaves hints to Sam that he'll activate it by claiming he'll take down the force-field. Sam allows it and it works; the Jaffa are eliminated and Greaves has gone. Kershaw dies. As Teal'c notes the device is a powerful weapon and worthy of study, Jack notes he knows what the Latonans will say if they ask. _

**Survivors**

The locker room was empty apart from Matthew Grogan. He sat on the bench and stared up at the three lockers in front of him; Benton, Tarkman and Winters. His team-mates. His dead team-mates. He could remember Benton's death with a sharp clarity that had shudders running over his skin, goose-bumps appearing in their wake. The look on his CO's face – the shock and horror, the pain and the knowledge – would stay with him for a long time. He didn't know what had happened to the others; they had gotten separated fleeing from the Jaffa patrols. He only knew that SG3 had found their bodies.

There would be funerals and services to say goodbye to them. He wondered briefly if he was meant to clear out the lockers or whether it would fall to some nameless Sergeant with the personal belongings packed up and sent onto the families – Benton's widow, Tarkman's fiancée and Winter's mother. Grogan scrunched his face up at the onset of tears, pushing his fingers into the corners of his eyes as though to dam them. What would he say to them? How could he explain how he had survived and the others had not? There was no explanation just sheer dumb luck. He had fallen asleep and the Jaffa had walked right past him.

No one expected him to officially talk with the families. General Hammond had said as much to him at the debriefing. The SGC's Family Liasion Officer would take care of that. But he would have to make contact unofficially, offer his condolences. Grogan swiped the back of his hand under his nose. He wasn't looking forward to it. He had no idea what he would say. What could he say?

They were dead.

It wasn't as though he knew them that well. They hadn't been a team for very long. Benton had been tough as a CO; contained. Tarkman had been a geek, a mix of both incredible intelligence and awkward shyness. Winters had been more like Grogan. They had clicked; interested in the same sports, both of them single and they had been around the same age. Winters had been on his way to becoming a friend as well as a team-mate. Only now that wouldn't happen; Winters was dead and for a long time Grogan had thought he was going to end up dying too.

His mind slipped back to the planet to the feeling of utter exhaustion. The Jaffa had been hunting them and that was how he felt – like a hunted animal. Despite their brief contact with the SGC, he hadn't been certain there would be a rescue. He had decided enough was enough; he couldn't run any further even if he wanted to so he would fight it out. He would do what his friend James Thomas Elliot had done before him and take out as many as he could with his last act. Grogan had crawled into the shrubbery as an ambush and waited…and fallen asleep. He flushed bright red; he could feel it burn his cheeks.

It was embarrassing that sleeping more than anything he had consciously decided had saved his life. He only hoped by stuffing away his worry about the others and the memory of his CO's death, and by helping Colonel O'Neill reach out to Marul that he had redeemed his performance. Hammond had told him that the Colonel had praised him for successfully getting him into the city and keeping a cool head once they'd been captured by the Jaffa and during their torture. Grogan's lips twisted. The SG1 leader had taken the brunt of it purposefully. Grogan had seen how O'Neill had provoked the guards ensuring their attention remained on him. Grogan had received one jolt from the pain stick, had been chained and roughed up a little, but nothing more.

He firmed his lips. The Colonel had been held back in the infirmary while he was treated for his injuries. He had significant burns on his back and chest – Grogan had caught a glimpse before the nurse had fully pulled the curtain. Grogan's mark was more like a mild burn; no worse than picking up the handle on a hot pan without thinking. He'd been released although he'd been placed summarily on stand down. Doctor Fraiser had talked about grief counselling and survivor guilt. Grogan just wanted to get back out there. He'd said as much to Hammond and had received one of the General's kindly smiles and a firm 'We'll see how you go, son.'

What was he meant to do, Grogan wondered. Just sit and contemplate his team-mates' deaths in the meantime? He got up as a burst of restless energy zinged through his veins. He opened his own locker, pulled off his clothes and headed for the showers. He let the water soothe his aching muscles. He vaguely heard other people come and go but he hid beneath the spray, not wanting to discuss what had happened or acknowledge anyone else. He stayed under as long as he could until his skin began to wrinkle and he lost feeling in his pruned fingers. Grogan shut the water off reluctantly. Finishing his shower meant dressing; it meant going to see the people his team-mates had loved.

Grogan wrapped a towel around his waist and rubbed his hair with another. He really didn't want to go especially on his own but it wasn't as though he had someone on base to go with him. Lieutenant Hailey was off-world on some long term surveillance of phenomena similar to the Northern Lights on P9Y201, Satterfield had transferred out to Area 51, Elliot was dead and there wasn't anyone else he felt comfortable asking to go with him. He heard the murmur of voices and paused. His heart sank at the thought of dealing with other people but he steeled himself and walked out. He kept his head down and made his way to his locker without looking.

'Grogan.'

The Colonel's greeting froze Grogan in the midst of reaching for a pair of boxers. He looked around and saw the leader of SG1 shrugging painfully into a leather jacket, obviously wincing with the effort. Daniel Jackson hovered beside him poised as though willing to help but knowing the Colonel wouldn't accept it. Teal'c stood by the door as though guarding it. All of them were dressed in civvies.

'You were in there so long I was about to send in Daniel.' The Colonel remarked, waving at him. 'We'll wait outside for you.'

'Sir?' Grogan looked at him blankly, unsure he had heard correctly.

The Colonel's eyes were shadowed when they met Grogan's. 'We'll wait outside.'

Daniel gave Grogan a sympathetic smile. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 'Major Green called to say they were gathering at the Winters' family home. We thought you might like some company.'

Grogan felt his chest seize and, for one awful moment, he thought he was going to lose it, just start bawling his eyes out like a baby. He turned away and hoped they hadn't seen the sheen of tears. 'Thank you, sir.' He managed eventually.

'Hurry it up, OK.' O'Neill said briskly. 'Carter gets cranky if you keep her waiting.'

He heard them leave and slowly looked back over to the spot they had vacated. He wasn't going to be alone after all. He was going to have SG1 with him. Grogan was torn between gratitude and terror. He dried off and dressed hastily, not wanting to keep the Colonel waiting. He opened the door and found them outside along with Major Carter. She shot him a small smile.

The Colonel pushed away from the wall, the Major followed him, Daniel beside her. Grogan fell into step beside Teal'c. He felt self-conscious as they garnered a few stares from some passing Airmen as they got into the elevator. They were probably wondering what the hell SG1 was doing with him, Grogan mused tiredly. He understood his own strengths and his own weaknesses. He wasn't the smartest or the most ambitious but he was a good soldier and he was proud to serve his country just as four generations of his family had served before him. He remembered how Elliot had confided setting his sights on SG1 and how he had replied to Elliot that he had set his sights on surviving.

They reached the surface and made their way into the parking lot. Grogan felt a hand snag his jacket before he could make for his bike.

'Sir, my bike.' He protested.

'We'll take my truck.' The Colonel insisted, pulling his keys from his jacket pocket.

'I will drive.' Teal'c plucked the keys from O'Neill's hand and stared down the Colonel's infuriated glower. 'Doctor Fraiser was most specific that you should not operate heavy machinery at this time, O'Neill.'

The Colonel darted a look at Daniel who held up his hands.

Daniel smirked at him. 'I think we should take a car.'

'Of course you do.' The Colonel sighed and slid his gaze towards Carter in what Grogan deduced, was a silent plea for back-up.

'I agree with Daniel, sir.' She smiled suddenly. 'We'll take my car.'

'Fine.' O'Neill muttered.

A moment later, Grogan found himself sandwiched between O'Neill and Teal'c in the back seat. The archaeologist and Carter were in the front. Nobody had argued about Carter driving. Grogan swallowed hard and tried to make himself as small and inconspicuous as he could.

The car was a new model. Grogan wondered at the baffling array of technical gadgets as Carter pulled out of the parking space. He preferred his bike. The car did handle wonderfully though; the engine was a low growl that hummed through the vehicle.

Daniel fiddled with the stereo and classical music drifted into the car. Grogan hid his smile. He would have pegged Daniel for a classical guy. His own taste ran more to the rock groups coming out of California and England. He'd played guitar in a garage band back in high school. He dimly realised that Daniel was discussing the Sentinel device with the Major as his attention drifted away from the choice of music.

'…you have to admit that a machine that combines the metaphysical…'

'Daniel, there's no proof that it used any kind of metaphysical trigger.' Carter countered. 'You could argue that all life is ultimately energy based. It's possible that the Sentinel was able to convert the energy of a living being, and used that as the power source to fuel the weapon.'

'OK,' Daniel responded, 'but it must have had some element of…' he seemed to struggle for a word, 'judgement.'

'Judgement?' The word was heavy on scepticism and Grogan sided with the Major. It just seemed too weird to him that a machine could judge anything.

'Yes,' argued Daniel, 'otherwise how would it know when it was supposed to initiate.'

'Maybe it was scanning the surface for Goa'uld technology outside of the limits of its force-shield.' Carter said firmly.

'But if that was the case why didn't it work as soon as Greaves started examining it when we got past the force-shield?' Daniel asked passionately.

There was silence.

'Aha!' Daniel said gleefully. 'See? The Sentinel must have had someway of judging when it was being touched by someone who was a willing sacrifice.'

'I don't know, Daniel,' Carter said thoughtfully, 'maybe it just needed a sustained contact. I doubt Greaves believed that he would die when he stepped up to turn the machine on.'

'Really?' Daniel shot back. 'You don't think he was sincere?'

'Oh come on, Daniel, Greaves just wasn't the sacrificing kind.' The Major pointed out. 'I'm sure he probably believed that he would survive the experience.'

'You know what happened with Greaves and Kershaw adds weight to the idea of some kind of karmic justice.' Daniel's words echoed Grogan's thoughts. 'I mean, when you think about it, they only came to Latona to evade being executed for their crimes and yet both ended up dead putting things right.'

'Will you two just give it a rest?' The Colonel shifted to glare at them over the seats, almost elbowing Grogan in the ribs.

'Come on, Jack, you have to admit,' Daniel replied, 'it's a fascinating cultural concept. The Latonans have this fabulous device that keeps them safe but one person has to sacrifice themselves in order for the rest of the planet to be saved. You have to wonder how many of the Latonans actually know about it or whether it's just the leadership and the Caretakers.'

'Well, I don't think we're going to find out.' Carter sighed heavily.

Grogan heard her frustration. When they had returned to the city and spoken with Marul's successor, Pino, he had been clear; they were not welcome on Latona not even to render aid and help at rebuilding what the Goa'uld had destroyed. Grogan couldn't blame them. It had been people from Earth who had placed them at risk and there had been a lot of damage done because of the delay in getting the Sentinel to work. Grogan had heard the full story of the way Greaves had killed the Caretaker of the Sentinel at the debriefing.

'Their decision, Carter.' O'Neill said evenly. He shifted position and Grogan figured that he couldn't be comfortable with his injuries.

'Sir,' Carter glanced back and Grogan caught a hint of some kind of perfume, something flowery and feminine which contrasted sharply with her outwardly tomboyish appearance. 'We need to stop and pick something up.'

To take with them, Grogan surmised. There seemed to be an unwritten rule about taking food to the bereaved.

O'Neill winced but nodded. 'There's a store two blocks up.'

She smoothly parked and O'Neill made to get out; Daniel placed a hand on his arm.

'Why don't you and Grogan stay in the car, Jack? We've got this.'

O'Neill sighed but he pulled out his wallet and tossed it at Daniel.

The remaining three members of SG1 scrambled out and Grogan found himself alone with the Colonel. He surreptitiously inched away, taking advantage of the space Teal'c had vacated.

'Cool car.' Grogan blurted out, desperately searching for something to say as the silence stretched.

'Yes.' O'Neill said absently. 'It is.' He looked over at Grogan. 'You OK?'

Grogan shifted on the seat and looked away, back down the street. His eyes followed some passing vehicles unthinkingly. 'I don't know what I'm going to say to them all.' He admitted.

O'Neill sighed. 'Nobody does, Grogan.' He frowned. 'Well, except Daniel and that's because he's Daniel.'

Grogan couldn't help but laugh at the dry remark. He looked over at the Colonel.

'You've met them before.' O'Neill stated with confidence.

Grogan nodded. 'Major Benton held a barbeque a couple of weekends after I got assigned. Just before we shipped out to Latona.' It had been the most relaxed he'd seen his CO. His wife, Emily Benton had been friendly and welcoming. He remembered that Julie, Tarkman's fiancée had brought some kind of potato salad and Gina Winters had reminded him of his own late mother, warm and maternal.

'Don't over think it, Grogan.' O'Neill advised, changing position again.

'Yes, sir.' Grogan breathed a sigh of relief as he spotted the Major exiting the store with Teal'c and Daniel.

They set back off and Grogan settled into the comfortable silence between the team-mates. Would his team ever have achieved the same easy camaraderie, Grogan mused. SG1 had such a tight bond and Grogan found it hard to believe that he would ever be close to any one the way they were with each other.

He began to tense as they turned into the right neighbourhood. Memories stirred and swam to the surface; of Benton showing him the back streets of the Latonan city.

'_You always explore and find the back way out. You never know when you might need it even on a friendly planet.'_ Benton's voice echoed in his head.

Tarkman's excited voice at finding some kind of monument in some courtyard. '_Don't you see, this writing isn't exactly the same as the Latonans. I think this is the source root and…'_ Grogan had lost the explanation right about there.

And Winters, swapping MREs with him and debating the finer points of the football season_. 'We should get tickets and take in a game.'_

'_You're on.'_

The car came to a halt.

Grogan shook himself free of the memories. He followed O'Neill out of the vehicle. He took a shaky breath and walked the remaining distance up to the house, O'Neill and Carter in front of him, Daniel and Teal'c beside him. The front door was open. Grogan spotted SGC personnel in the hallway as they entered – friends of his team-mates mostly, he realised.

They stepped into a reception room and Grogan recognised Emily, Julie and Gina immediately. The three women sat together on a sofa. They looked up with tear-streaked faces and Grogan froze. It felt as though his feet were glued to the floor and he couldn't take another step forward, couldn't break away to leave. He couldn't breathe. He felt the room fall silent rather than heard it.

Gina got to her feet. She walked over to Grogan and without hesitation put her arms around him. Grogan felt his eyes sting with unshed tears and his chest tightened painfully as he struggled to hold them back as he returned her fierce hug.

'Thank God one of you came home.' Gina said, tearfully.

'I'm so sorry.' His voice cracked under the weight of his guilt; it should have been Winters hugging his mother not him. Grogan couldn't hold the tears back any longer. His team-mates were gone…

o-O-o

The familiar sounds of the gate room could be heard down the corridor as SG1 walked towards it: the babble of the waiting soldiers and the monitoring technicians; the mechanical spin of the Stargate and hiss of metal against metal; the rush of air as the wormhole engaged.

Daniel adjusted his pack as they entered. His eyes widened behind his glasses; the room was more chaotic than normal. A group of ten men stood off to the side waiting as supplies trundled up the ramp.

Jack glanced at his watch and sighed. Surprisingly, with all the disturbances that could happen, it wasn't often that the gate travel schedule was delayed or backed up. Daniel figured Jack's huff of impatience was more to do with the reason than the delay itself. The Tok'ra Jalen along with four others had arrived under fire that morning. The good news was that they had brought parts to salvage the cargo ship SG1 had used in their mission to stop an asteroid from hitting Earth.

The bad news was bad; Jalen had reported that two more Tok'ra bases had been hit by Anubis. They had retreated to long unused locations in the hopes that Anubis wouldn't follow them. Daniel hoped it worked. He suspected Anubis intended to hunt them to extinction. The thought was depressing and Daniel pushed it away. He had resolved after a recent incident with a robot to try and accept they were fighting a war; that there would be victories and failures, and that he needed to accept both with equanimity or go mad.

He looked up at the Stargate. He'd lost his purpose when he'd lost Sha're, when he'd assured himself that her son was safe. He'd been drifting with nothing more than the want to make a difference and the fear he was making things worse. He squared his shoulders. It might be a war and it might be hard but he would make a difference.

'Grogan.'

Jack's call had Daniel turning to look as the SG1 leader approached the young Lieutenant. Grogan had returned to duty a few days before. Daniel could see the bemused looks on the other men waiting as they wondered why Grogan had been singled out by Jack.

'So, you're heading out to the Alpha site.' Jack commented, jerking his head at the open wormhole.

'Yes, sir.' Grogan nodded. 'I'm looking forward to learning some of the Jaffa fighting techniques.'

Teal'c's expression filled with delighted pride.

'Yes.' Jack said dryly, darting a look at the Jaffa, 'I guess someone has to.' He smirked at Teal'c's warning look and lifted a hand from his weapon as he turned back to Grogan. 'Just remember how to get tossed to the floor without breaking something, Grogan.'

Grogan smiled. 'Yes, sir.'

The young Captain in charge of the group cleared his throat; the wormhole was waiting.

Jack waved at him to continue. He nodded at Grogan.

'Sir.' Grogan joined the rest and marched up the ramp. He disappeared into the blue horizon.

The wormhole dissipated and Jack looked up towards the control room.

'Dialling Kelowna now, Colonel.' Walter Harriman confirmed over the tannoy.

Jack sighed and turned back as the gate began to spin. 'How did we get stuck with the follow up again?'

'We did make first contact, Jack.' Daniel remarked.

Jack shot him a look. 'And I ask again; how did we get stuck with the follow up?'

Daniel exchanged a long-suffering look with Sam.

'Are you not excited about the potential discoveries the Kelownans have made, O'Neill?' Teal'c asked.

'Oh, you know me, Teal'c,' Jack replied dryly, 'I'm excited. Can't you tell?'

Sam ducked her head to hide a smile.

'It's amazing they found the temple they mentioned.' Daniel remarked, moving the subject back to their trip. 'I'm looking forward to examining the ruins if they allow it.'

'It sounds like they found some naquadah.' Sam said enthusiastically. 'I'm looking forward to seeing if they did.'

They smiled at each other happily. Their areas of expertise were very different but they shared a love of learning and exploring.

'I might have known you two would be as happy as clams.' Jack grumbled, but his words lacked heat and his brown eyes twinkled at the two scientists indulgently.

'Why are clams happy, O'Neill?' Teal'c asked bluntly.

They all turned to look at the Jaffa bemused.

'They just are.' Jack said firmly. His gaze gave away a faint exasperation with the Jaffa's question.

Daniel bit down on his cheek to stop himself laughing. He saw Sam doing the same.

The wormhole blossomed out in front of them. Jack glanced back to the control room and Hammond nodded at him.

'You have a go, SG1.'

Jack acknowledged the order with a sketchy salute. He adjusted his cap and looked around the team. Daniel acknowledged the silent order to move out without a word being spoken.

They all moved up the ramp collectively, all four in step with each other and walked confidently into the shimmering blue puddle.


	20. Mortal Wounds

**Author's Notes: **Daniel/Team friendship. Character death. Some bad language. Daniel/Sha're. Mild Daniel/Janet UST. Mild Sam/Jack UST.

**Meridian Recap:** _SG1 arrives back from Kelowna unexpectedly; Daniel has been exposed to a lethal dose of radiation and they head immediately to the infirmary. At the briefing with Hammond, the rest of SG1 describe their visit to Kelowna; a country which uncovered the Stargate on its planet fifteen years before along with an Ancient temple. The political situation on the planet there is delicate with Kelowna in something of a Cold War with their neighbours. SG1 had been welcomed and shown to the top scientific facility where they met Jonas Quinn, a young Advisor to the High Minister. He showed them experiments with an unstable element called naquadria. The Kelownans wanted to build a bomb to deter the possibility of attack. SG1 reports that Daniel protested about the bomb to the Kelownan government. The Kelownans claim he sabotaged the experiment, hence his radiation exposure. All of SG1 are certain the Kelownans are lying but were not present at the incident._

_Jack talks with Daniel who admits it was an accident but the scientists probably need a scapegoat and he's handy. Although Daniel tells Jack that his life is not more important than any other, Jack is determinedly trying to find a way to save his friend; the Asgard aren't responding, Jacob Carter cannot be reached, and getting to the only known sarcophagus is just too risky. _

_Meanwhile, Sam realises the potential of the element and Jack is ordered to take a letter from Hammond to the Kelownan government – not admitting Daniel's guilt but laying the foundation for diplomatic relations. Jack goes to see Jonas and tells him that he knows they are lying about Daniel; he tells Jonas that the bomb they're building will only be effective if used at least once – that Daniel was trying to make that point. Jack notes to Jonas that they want the element to build defence shields._

_Sam tries using the healing device to save Daniel but he seizes and when he loses consciousness he finds himself on some kind of spiritual plane in the gate room with a woman who tells him his fate is in his hands. In the infirmary, Jack tells Daniel that he won't allow them to pin the accusations on Daniel; that he has grown to admire him. Daniel realises that the woman is Oma Desala. _

_Jonas arrives from Kelowna; he has stolen the naquadria and brought it to Earth. He tells them how Daniel saved the Kelownans by stepping in to stop the experiment when it went wrong. Daniel realises Oma is there to help him Ascend but only he can make the leap. He questions his worth even as Sam and Teal'c visit him in the infirmary and tell him of the difference he has made to their lives. He only notes to Oma that he had the chance to live out his life with Sha're but unburied the gate; he notes that he believes his life a failure. Yet Oma notes that a person can only truly judge themselves one way; are they good or evil? _

_As Jacob arrives and tries to heal him, Daniel realises he wants to Ascend. Oma encourages him and Daniel finds himself in the physical plane, in the infirmary with his team-mates, Janet, General Hammond and Jacob. He places a hand on Jack's shoulder. Back in the spiritual gate room, Daniel tells Jack to stop Jacob; that he believes he can do more by going with Oma; that this is what he wants. In the infirmary, Jack tells Jacob to stop much to the surprise of everyone._

_Daniel takes one final breath and dies. He transforms in front of their eyes becoming a glowing energy being. He thanks Jack, noting he'll miss them and disappears through the Stargate, leaving Jack back in reality to face the future without him._

**Mortal Wounds **

_There was only the light and for a brief moment he wondered if he'd made a mistake; if all he'd done was die…_

o-O-o

Jack O'Neill kicked the door behind him and heard it slam shut. He stood momentarily in the hallway of his home as though uncertain why he was there. His mind was a blank. He shook the stupor away. He had driven himself home as soon as the impromptu debriefing on Daniel Jackson's demise had finished, wanting – needing – to be out of the mountain.

He didn't want to think about what had happened or the impact it was going to have to SG1, to Samantha Carter, to Teal'c, to himself. His jaw firmed; his lips thinned. He wasn't thinking about it. He looked down at the brown bag in his arms. He marched down into the den. He froze at the sight of a chess board set up ready. He had made plans with Daniel just before the mission to play a game when they returned. He swept it off the table, uncaring when the pieces tumbled to the floor. He set the bag on the coffee table and walked over to the stereo to shove a CD into the player. He pushed the volume up to loud.

Opera boomed out of the speakers. It was rich and violent; passionate and powerful. It filled his senses; kept his thoughts from drifting back to the events of the past few days, to the final hours. Jack ripped at the bag and snatched one of the cans of beer he'd bought. He pulled the tab quickly. The warm liquid gushed down his throat and he swallowed rapidly, coughing. He sat down with a thump and gulped back enough to drain the can by half. He leaned forward, almost hunched over in half as he closed his eyes and let the music fill his head.

His hands tightened around the aluminium and he drank without thinking. He wanted to get drunk; wanted to drown out the thoughts that hovered on the edges of his mind, numb the grief and loss that would come if he acknowledged that Daniel was dead. The thought had him draining the can until it was empty and he reached for a second.

Daniel wasn't dead, Jack argued with himself; Daniel had _Ascended_. He'd moved onto a higher plane of existence. Jack pulled a face and snorted out loud as he lowered the can. If anyone had been a candidate for that, it was Daniel. The guy never thought twice about sacrificing himself for others. That was the goddamn problem, Jack grumbled inwardly. That self-sacrificing streak had gotten Daniel killed.

Jack's head lowered and his hands fisted around his drink. Jonas Quinn had been the one to tell them the truth about what had happened; how Daniel had saved the Kelownans from a massive explosion. He had saved millions of lives including those of his team-mates. There was no doubt that the blast would have taken out the city which the rest of SG1 had been busily touring as part of their diplomatic, fact-finding mission.

Diplomatic, fact-finding waste of fucking time, Jack thought darkly.

He should have been with Daniel.

The thought stung enough that Jack raised the can again and drank down the beer without tasting it. He should have been with Daniel but instead he had been making nice with some government toady and suffering through some idiotic tour. It had been his call as SG1 leader to let Daniel go back to the testing facility to talk with Jonas.

'_I think I can get through to him, Jack.'_

'_I'm telling you it's a waste of time. They're going to build that bomb, Daniel; trust me on that.'_

_Blue eyes pleaded back at him._

'_OK.' It was a sigh. 'Go. Talk. Do your thing.'_

_A slap on his arm was his thanks._

He'd let Daniel walk right into a mess, unprotected and without back-up. He should have gone with him. Hell, Carter had requested to go with him – she'd been fascinated by the experiment and the naquadria – and he'd knocked her back with some lame quip that if he had to suffer the tortures of the tour, she was going to have to suffer it right alongside him. The thought that he had almost caved to her begging look sent a shiver down his spine. If she'd been with Daniel…would he have lost them both? Or her? Was it bad that he was slightly relieved that it had been _just_ Daniel? And hell, he had no right to think that because it was screwed up but, damn it, he loved Carter. He wasn't supposed to and wasn't supposed to favour her at all, and the idea that he might have, that he might have kept her beside him because he wanted her presence instead of sending her along to protect Daniel, had guilt rushing through his veins. It curdled uneasily in his gut and he chugged down more beer. Jack crumpled the aluminium and tossed it, uncaring where it landed. He picked up another and opened it.

It wasn't as though he'd made a choice between them, Jack thought insistently; he hadn't. It wasn't a case of picking someone for a mission that had gone wrong. It had been an accident. An experiment had gone wrong. Daniel had understood the dangers and gone in; had stopped the device so it couldn't explode and kill them all. If Jack had been with him…he should have been with him.

A hasty swallow of beer almost went down the wrong way and he coughed, tears springing into his eyes. He blinked them away angrily. He wasn't going to cry. He tilted the can but it was empty. He reached for another.

The truth was that Jack hadn't been with him. He hadn't even spared Daniel a thought until the communication had come in for them to get to the facility. He closed his eyes. He'd failed to protect Daniel and Daniel had taken a lethal dose of radiation.

The past couple of days had been hell.

They'd slowly watched Daniel dying. He'd been in pain; so much in pain. Jack was crap at that sort of thing. He hated it. Hated watching his friend slowly mummified. Hated not knowing what to do; what to say.

'_I'm really bad at this.' Jack confessed, knowing Daniel would understand._

_And he had. There had been a glimmer of humour along with the pain in the eyes that had blinked back at him. More in his voice as Daniel replied. 'Yes. You are.'_

Another can was tossed across the room.

At least he'd been able to ensure that Daniel's name was cleared. He'd talked with Jonas when he'd taken the damn letter Hammond had written to the Kelownan government. Personally, he hadn't given a fuck about the magic element. He appreciated Carter's view that it could be important but stuff wasn't important – truth was. He'd learnt that from Daniel.

He laughed bitterly and leaned back, resting his head against the cushion. He took another sip of beer. The point was that Jonas had listened and he'd told the Kelownan government the truth about what had happened. Maybe – just maybe – the guy had found some balls. Jonas had stolen the naquadria and brought it to Earth when he realised his government would use the bomb. He couldn't go back and had apparently asked for sanctuary on Earth.

Jack didn't much care. Maybe Jonas wasn't directly responsible for what had happened to Daniel; maybe Jonas wasn't directly responsible for the story the Kelownan scientists had cooked up about Daniel sabotaging their experiment and smearing Daniel's name. Maybe he wasn't directly responsible but Jack couldn't shake the feeling that Jonas deserved to take some responsibility for what had gone down.

Daniel probably wouldn't have agreed.

Tears stung the back of his eyes again and he blinked them away, took another sip of beer. Damn it. At least, the side trip to Kelowna had meant that he had felt he was doing something. Something other than sitting and watching his friend die. They had tried the Asgard and the Tok'ra seemingly to no avail and it was too risky to get to the one known sarcophagus. Jack had considered it anyway; considered defying Hammond's order and going after it with Carter and Teal'c in the newly repaired cargo ship parked out at Petersen. But Carter had worked out they would never have made it there and back before Daniel died and Jack figured the time was better spent being with Daniel even if they couldn't do anything for him. Carter had tried to heal him with the Goa'uld device but she hadn't been able to make it work. She felt guilty about that; Jack knew she did especially when Jacob had finally turned up and had been able to use it. He'd seen it in her eyes.

'…_my life is no more valuable than anyone else's.'_

Daniel's words filtered through the buzz in Jack's head. He'd been wrong about that, Jack mused sadly. So wrong. Jack reached for the last can and sipped it without thinking. He didn't think Daniel would have been offered the whole Ascension deal if Oma hadn't seen what everyone saw in Daniel; that sense of good, of right.

Jack's hand crept to his shoulder where the shadow of Daniel's touch remained. He closed his eyes, remembering the sense of dislocation and the jarring feeling of being in two places at the same time. On one level he knew his body had remained in the infirmary room watching Jacob healing Daniel yet on another he knew he had been in the gate room with Daniel.

'_Please, Jack; tell Jacob to stop.'_

How could Daniel have asked him to do that? Jack clapped a hand over his face and fought to breathe against the tight feeling in his chest. How could he have asked Jacob to stop healing Daniel?

'_It's what I want.'_

What about they wanted? Teal'c was quietly grief-stricken and Carter was devastated. She had barely looked at Jack during the debriefing when he had explained Daniel's request to him, and the one time their eyes had connected, Jack had seen the unspoken question there; why hadn't Jack fought for Daniel to stay with them?

Jack sighed heavily and opened his eyes. Tears blurred his vision and he swiped at them. He could have argued with Daniel; could have told him all the reasons why he was needed right where he was…the problem was Jack figured Daniel already knew. Not to mention Jack knew how badly Daniel was struggling with everything. He wasn't a soldier; he hadn't trained for war. Maybe Ascending; getting away from it was the best thing for Daniel. It would keep him safe.

'_I think I can do more this way.'_

Daniel had so badly wanted to make a difference – even if it had killed him, Jack thought with irony. Jack curled up on the sofa and closed his eyes. He hoped Daniel could find what he was looking for wherever he'd gone because the truth of it was he'd left them behind and they would all have to face living without him; being SG1 without him. And the sooner they did the better in Jack's view; it was Jack's final pained thought as he slid into sleep where he could forget that Daniel was gone and he had let him go…

o-O-o

General Hammond stood looking out at the gate room below. The personnel below moved without their usual verve and talked in hushed tones. The entire base was suffused with sadness. Daniel Jackson had been well liked, popular. More he and the rest of SG1 held almost iconic status in the corridors of the SGC. His loss was being felt on every level of the base.

Hammond breathed in deeply. He would have to watch morale, he mused, pursing his lips thoughtfully. He couldn't deny that his own was rocked. He believed in SG1 as a team; believed they were vital to Earth's safety. He wasn't certain how Earth was going to survive without the full team. He wasn't certain SG1 was going to survive.

They'd been hit hard. Teal'c's stoicism had wobbled in the debriefing; his stern exterior showing a glimpse of how shell-shocked the Jaffa truly was underneath his impassivity. The Major had tried to keep the tears out of her eyes but she hadn't managed it and her CO had worn a mask of military bravado that Hammond had admired and despaired of in the same breath.

They'd been hit hard and so had he. He'd lost men before but he could admit if only to himself that some losses were felt more than others. He had been truly fond of Daniel Jackson. There had been a lot to admire in the young man; a brilliant mind, an endless compassion and a strong sense of justice. There would never have been a Stargate programme without him, and Hammond could feel the ground beneath them trembling with his death.

He caught a glimpse of his image in the window; at the frown that lined his face, the redness in his cheeks and across his bald pate. He looked as tired and shaken as the personnel in the gate room. He needed to do better if he was going to lead them through this. He turned away and stalked back into his office.

He sat down at his desk and reached for the first report on the pile but although he set it in front of him, he didn't open it. His mind was still on the events of the day. He wondered how they explained Ascension on a death certificate – he'd have to talk with Janet Fraiser, get her view on that. Then there was the matter of whether to hold a memorial service…did they do that? Was Daniel really dead? He sighed heavily. He'd get Colonel O'Neill's view on that.

The Colonel's story was incredible; the archaeologist taking him to some other plane of existence, or into some dream; the request that Jack let him go and then the Ascension itself. Hammond had witnessed that himself; seen Daniel's body turned into pure white energy; brilliantly bright. He had felt warmth and friendship; felt the goodbye Daniel Jackson had given them. But had he felt it? It seemed so bizarre in the aftermath; so surreal. Hammond wasn't a man given to flights of fancy and he put it down to the emotion of the moment.

It had been some moment.

'George.'

Hammond's head jerked automatically to the office doorway. Jacob Carter stood there, looking as worn as Hammond felt. Hammond gestured him forward.

'How is she?' Hammond asked as Jacob came to stand in front of his desk. Jacob had been with his daughter.

Jacob rested his fingertips on the polished wood. 'Not good. She's gone home finally.' His dark eyes gleamed with concern. 'I haven't seen Sam this way since her mother died.'

'You know how it gets in a team, Jacob.' Hammond said mildly. 'She's lost one of her closest friends.'

Jacob nodded sharply and drew himself up. 'I need to return to the Tok'ra.'

'Now?' The word came out sharper than Hammond had intended. He had assumed Jacob would stay and help Sam through her grief. He saw Jacob flush.

'We have bigger problems to deal with than the death of one man.' Jacob said bitingly.

'That's pretty cold, Jacob.' Hammond shot back.

'It's the job.' Jacob retorted. 'And you know that as well as I do.' He shuffled under Hammond's insistent gaze. 'Sam understands we need to get back.'

Hammond wondered if Sam understood it as much as Jacob wanted to believe that she did since she was conspicuously absent and she usually said goodbye to her father at the gate.

'I'm afraid I need to leave immediately.' Jacob said firmly.

'Then we won't keep you.' Hammond stood up and led the way to the control room where he ordered the gate to be dialled. They made their way to the gate room and stood side by side by the metal ramp as the gate spun.

'George.' Jacob sighed. 'If I could stay I would but there's not just me in here,' he tapped his head, 'and we have duties with the Tok'ra that I can't just ignore.'

Hammond allowed himself to unbend a little. 'I understand that, Jacob.' He glanced at his friend. 'And I appreciate that you came at all given the circumstances.' He sighed. 'It's been a rough day.' It was as much of an apology as Jacob was going to get.

Jacob nodded.

The wormhole engaged.

Hammond shook Jacob's hand firmly but found himself caught when Jacob held on when Hammond would have pulled away.

'Look after her for me, George.' Jacob said.

'I will.' Hammond promised solemnly.

Jacob let go. He turned and walked up the ramp without hesitation, disappearing into the blue puddle. Hammond sighed heavily and wondered just how he kept his promise.

o-O-o

_He was alive. He could feel energy running through him; all around him; he __**was**__ energy. It was exhilarating. And scary. There was so much power…he had never been so scared. A presence reached out to guide him…Oma…_

o-O-o

The open road was ahead of her and Sam pressed down on the accelerator and leaned low almost pressing her body into the motorbike as she zipped over the black asphalt faster and faster. The wind smacked her in the face, unrelenting and cold. Her breath hitched as she fought for breath and to keep the bike steady at the insane speed it was travelling.

She didn't want to think; didn't want to think about anything but the bike. It demanded her focus as the road began to curve. She should brake; she accelerated. Pushed it through the bend and opened the throttle up further as she hit the straight. The road in front of her stretched out, empty and flat; the scenery blurred either side of her. It didn't matter.

All that mattered was the road, the bike and her control. She could feel the pull of the air around her, tugging on her leathers and rasping across her cheeks. She would have wind burn. It felt good. It reminded her she was alive…unlike Daniel.

The bike wobbled beneath her.

Her focus was gone.

She fought hard; eased up slowly, there was a squeal when she applied the brakes and she lurched to a hard stop. Her body jolted forward and her long legs frantically aimed for the ground to keep the bike and herself upright. For a long moment, there was nothing but the pounding of her heart and the ragged edge of her breathing.

Sam yanked the helmet from her head, uncaring at the carnage it had done to her hair. She stuffed it on the back of the bike and climbed off. Her legs weren't quite steady as she kicked the stand into place. She almost fell to the ground as she ripped off her gloves.

Her face was already wet with tears when she covered it with her hands. She sobbed. She couldn't catch her breath and finally turned to throw up in the bush. She sat back, trembling. She found a tissue and wiped her mouth clean of vomit. She reached for the water bottle strapped to the bike and swilled her mouth out, spitting the residue into the bushes. She thanked her luck when her hands closed on some gum in her pocket. She stuffed it her mouth and tasted the clammy mint flavour. It removed the last taste of her throw-up.

She sat by the edge of the road and stared out sightlessly at the countryside around her. Tears gathered again but gentler this time as she allowed them to trickle down her face unheeded. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

Daniel was dead.

Or was he? He had Ascended. Her eyes closed on the memory. Of the sound of the machine flat-lining; of the way her own heart had skipped a beat and then the light, so bright it burned but she hadn't been unable to look away; had kept her eyes on the effervescent form of her friend.

Had she imagined the touch of warmth and the feeling of farewell? She brushed her cheeks and pushed her hand through her wrecked blonde mop. She had seen it happen before. Orlin had gone the same way; transforming in front of her eyes. She had never wished to see it again and certainly hadn't wished for it to happen to one of her closest friends.

'_He felt he could do more as one of them.' _

The Colonel's words from the debriefing came back to her. Sam's breath hitched in her throat. She wasn't sure Daniel could do more in his new form. From everything Orlin had told her, there were rules, strict rules. Why hadn't the Colonel stopped him? Her father had been healing Daniel…

Only Selmak had admitted they couldn't bring Daniel back to full health; there had been too much damage from the radiation. Maybe it was better Daniel had Ascended and there was always the chance that he would come back – that he would retake mortal form as Orlin had done.

It didn't feel better. It felt like Daniel was gone. What did it matter if he had died or had Ascended? He was gone and it was her fault.

The rush of blame burned through her gut; it had her stomach rolling and the bile churning. She turned her face into the wind and breathed deeply.

She should have saved him. His injuries could be healed by the Goa'uld device. Her father and Selmak had proven that. She should have found a way to make it work. She had tried but she had failed. She had failed when it truly mattered. Another wave of tears spilled from her eyes and she brushed them away impatiently. She should have practised with the device more even if she did hate the way it made her feel like a Goa'uld. If she had, maybe then she could have saved Daniel.

Sam climbed back on the bike and turned it for home. She made the journey back into town on auto pilot; her mind focused on the ride. She was half-way down the Colonel's road before she realised where her subconscious had taken her. She frowned, torn.

A part – a large part of her – wanted to take the turning to his driveway. She wanted his arms around her, holding her close, comforting her; her arms around him, holding him close, comforting him. She had seen the pain in his eyes before his mask had slammed into place. He was hurting. He and Daniel had been close; best friends in a strange way that made no sense to a casual observer and every sense to anyone who knew their history. They had a bond that transcended the usual idea of friendship. They had made the first trip through the gate together and had saved each other and the Abydonians. It was a bond that preceded SG1; one that she and Teal'c didn't share with them and she respected that. She knew Jack well enough to know that behind the mask he wore he would take Daniel's death personally and hard. And she knew he wouldn't welcome her comfort.

Besides, Sam mused swiftly, allowing the turn-off to pass, the Colonel had made it clear that he had disliked that she hadn't backed him up on the naquadria. He had hated the idea of going back to the Kelownans, to make nice with them after their accusations of Daniel sabotaging the experiment, just for some element. But Sam knew in her gut that the naquadria was too important. It was going to open doorways to them; she could feel it. The energy it was capable of producing was incredible. She hadn't liked the idea of Daniel's name being smeared unjustly anymore than the Colonel but getting the naquadria, making use of it...that meant that Daniel's death would have meaning. She figured the Colonel didn't see it that way and was pissed at her for focusing on the naquadria and not Daniel. Daniel had understood but then he had always understood she focused on her work when she was upset because he did the same.

She shivered. She had focused on Daniel eventually but it had been hard. Too hard. He had been dying in front of their eyes. She had wanted to be there for him but it had hurt seeing him in so much pain and slipping away, inch by inch. But it seemed he had been slipping away before Kelowna and she just hadn't seen it.

Sam angled the bike for her own neighbourhood. She kept her speed legal as she took the turns and twists to her house. She parked behind her car and made her way inside. It was deathly quiet.

Too quiet.

She should call Janet and see how Cassie had taken the news…no; she would wait until the next day when she was steadier. She had hoped her father would stay around but hadn't been surprised when he had left. Duty always came first. Like always. Sam felt a surge of anger. Screw that, she thought furiously. Look what duty had gotten Daniel: killed.

She tugged her leather jacket off and threw it on the floor. She felt furious as tears filled her eyes again. Why couldn't she stop crying? She scrubbed her face with her hands as she made her way to her bedroom and crawled on top of the bed. She closed her eyes tightly.

Her mind returned to the debriefing. The Colonel had indicated that Daniel had been thinking of leaving, questioning his place, before Kelowna. That maybe that had tipped the scales to his deciding on Ascension. Why hadn't he talked to her about it? She had known something was wrong; why hadn't she pressed him to talk with her?

She turned to lie and stare up at the ceiling. She guessed she hadn't been much of a friend to him. The past year had been rough. The Colonel had made it clear he had moved on from their once mutual feelings and she had found the shift painful and horrible. She had retreated inside herself, pulled away because she hadn't been able to talk to anyone about it, not openly. She sighed and wiped her eyes absently.

And then there had been all the deaths, all the losses; Orlin, Narim, the Ambassador to the Aschen, Lantash and Elliot…Daniel. It seemed as though she was losing everyone around her. Everyone she loved, left. It was inevitable. She had learned that lesson when her mother had died. She shouldn't be surprised that Daniel had gone, had left her.

Pain tumbled over her, through her, and Sam sobbed out loud. Why had Daniel left? Why had he gone? Didn't he know how much he meant to them all? Why did everyone who cared for her leave?

She closed her eyes tightly at the sharp sting of grief and turned her face into the pillow as she let the hot tears run down her face again.

o-O-o

Janet closed the door on Cassie's room slowly. Her daughter had taken the news of Daniel's death badly. Cassie had already lost so much in her young life; her biological parents, her homeworld. She had cried herself to sleep. Janet wandered down the stairs and wondered whether anyone would notice if she did the same.

Her feet took her into the kitchen and she made her way to the refrigerator. She pulled out a bottle of wine, looked at it and put it back. She headed for the study and poured herself a whiskey instead. She sat on the den sofa and nursed the whiskey between both hands, staring into the amber depths.

She was tired. She and her team had worked tirelessly to keep him alive, to keep him comfortable, ever since Daniel had arrived back from Kelowna. She had known the reality of what would happen to Daniel as soon as Sam had told her the radiation dose. There was just no way to avoid it. No treatment or way of reversing the damage with the limitation of man-made medicine.

She sipped the whiskey and pulled a face at the deep peaty taste. She bent her head until it rested against the hard crystal. She had felt so helpless, useless. All she had been able to do in the end was watch him die. The grief shot through her and tears sprang to her eyes.

Damn it, Janet thought angrily. She would not cry. She was a goddamn doctor. She lost patients all the time…but some patients got closer than others. The truth of it had her stumbling from her angry thoughts and into a deep sadness.

Daniel had snuck under her radar. She had liked him. He was an incredible man; good, passionate and caring. He had become a friend without her even knowing how it had happened. But there was more, Janet considered, refusing to deny herself the truth just once…she had been an inch away from falling in love with him.

She closed her eyes.

She knew better. She wasn't supposed to fall in love with a patient and she had resisted the attraction she had felt for a long time because of her ethics and more, because it was so painfully obvious that he didn't feel the same.

Janet opened her eyes and took another gulp of her drink. It burned the back of her throat and she coughed. She had always known Daniel was in love with his wife, even long after Sha're had died. There had been a light in his blue eyes whenever he spoke of her; a quiet joy in his voice. He had never looked at her the way he had looked at the pictures of his wife.

The jealousy was bitter and foul, and she downed the rest of her drink to wash it away. She didn't want to be jealous; how could she be jealous of the young woman who had been taken as a Goa'uld host? Who had lost her life trying to save her child? Janet blinked back tears.

Daniel had been attracted, Janet thought sadly. She was experienced enough to catch the odd moment when he had looked at her as a woman rather than as his doctor. But he had never acted on it and neither had she. He had cared about her too; Janet had felt that. He had cared about her as a friend, had always provided her with a shoulder when she needed to lean on someone, an ear when she needed to talk to someone. She had thanked him for that in the end; for the gift of his friendship.

She swiped at her cheeks and reached for a tissue to blow her nose. Regrets were useless. She couldn't rewind time and tell him how she truly felt; he was gone. She couldn't find out if she'd had the courage to approach him if he would have been open to something more between them. What ifs were so cruel…

Janet got to her feet. She left the glass where it was and made her way back up the stairs. She opened Cassie's room a crack and peeked inside. The dog raised his head in curious inquiry, and gently wagged his tail. He lowered his head back to the bed when Janet didn't approach. Cassie was sleeping but the tracks of her tears were evident even at a distance. She closed the door again.

Her own bedroom was just down the hall and Janet walked inside it without conscious thought. She sat down on the end of the bed and lowered her head into her hands. She'd have to call Sam and see if she could come over the next day; Cassie had asked for her. Janet had managed to convince Cassie to leave it a day. Sam was grieving too. Janet had seen the pain in her friend's eyes as clearly as though she had been looking in a mirror.

A pang of guilt ran through her. Janet had pushed Sam into trying the healing device. She knew Sam would never have tried it without the push. Sam didn't like being reminded that she had the ability to use Goa'uld technology because of her experience with Jolinar. She'd only had few successes with the healing device and she had been unable to help Daniel. That would weigh on her, Janet thought. They would have to talk about it. Sam had to see she wasn't to blame.

Janet sighed heavily. She undressed and got ready for bed almost absently. She climbed beneath the covers and switched the light off. The room was plunged into darkness. She lay there in the dark.

Was Ascension death? Or was it another life beyond the physical plane? Janet didn't know and she didn't care. She had been so shocked when Jack had told Jacob to stop.

'_It's what he wants.'_

Why would anyone choose to leave all that they knew, all that they loved, behind? Janet couldn't explain it. Cassie would demand answers and Janet knew she didn't have them to give her. She didn't understand it herself.

Her bedroom door opened and Cassie stood in the doorway.

'Mom?' Cassie's voice trembled with fresh tears. 'Can I sleep with you?'

Janet flipped back the blankets and Cassie crawled inside the bed, snuggling up to her. She had slept with her a lot during the first few months she'd been on Earth but she hadn't needed the reassurance for a long while. Janet tucked her closer and smoothed Cassie's hair away from her face as the dog jumped up to lie on the end of the bed.

'I miss him already.' Cassie sniffed as she cuddled her mother.

'Me too.' Janet said gruffly, her voice tight with the tears she was suppressing. 'Me too.'

o-O-o

_Focus; he had to focus. He knew that. It was just so hard in the maelstrom around him. So hard to make sense of where he was; what he was; who he was…he focused on one thing: Sha're…_

o-O-o

Teal'c gazed up at the stars. The sky at night was always a wonder to him; a dark carpet with the stars and a pale full moon, all in formations so different from Chulak. After the departure of his team-mates from the base, he had made his way to the top of the mountain. He had needed the air on his face; to fill his lungs. The dull fog of loss hung over the corridors inside.

He had stayed in the sunshine and meditated, heedless of the cold prickling his skin with goose-bumps or the way the rock dug into him. He had watched the sun go down beyond the horizon and thought only of Daniel Jackson. He was filled with sadness.

The loss of his friend cut deep. He had once thought that the archaeologist would never be his friend – how could he? Teal'c had been instrumental in the kidnap of Sha're. More he had chosen her to be infested by the Goa'uld Ammonet. He had done it with the best of intentions; to try and stop the deaths of young women refused by the Goa'uld. But he had taken Sha're from Daniel Jackson and he believed that when the young man had spoken to him of forgiveness that it would never come. He had been wrong.

Daniel Jackson had forgiven him for all he had done and still, further, he had forgiven him again when Teal'c had killed Sha're in order to stop the Goa'uld Ammonet from killing his friend. Teal'c had never known anyone with so much compassion or generosity of spirit. He was unsure he would ever know someone like Daniel Jackson again.

He would be missed. Already, there was a hole in Teal'c's life. He would have spoken with his friend about their team-mates and how to help them through their loss. O'Neill hid much behind his façade as a warrior as was needed but Teal'c knew he would feel the absence of Daniel Jackson keenly. For all their differences, the two men shared a precious bond of friendship and camaraderie. Major Carter's upset had been evident during the debriefing; tears shining from her eyes. She had been unable to hide her distress. She and Daniel Jackson had an affinity for knowledge and learning; they shared a bond of geniuses, an understanding of what it was to be brilliant. More, they understood each other when others did not. Samantha Carter would miss all of that but more she would miss Daniel Jackson as a sister missed a brother. She would mourn him.

Teal'c was uncertain of his approach; how best to comfort her or O'Neill. They had departed to their homes and perhaps for that night it was necessary. All of them needed time and space to come to terms with what had happened before they came together again. But he would be there for them when they needed him. He swore on the memory of Daniel Jackson that he would be there for their team-mates as he believed the archaeologist would have been in his place.

Perhaps in time O'Neill and Major Carter would also come to see the joy in Daniel Jackson's Ascension as Teal'c did, he mused. Ascension was at the heart of the Jaffa belief in the afterlife – indeed, it was the afterlife. Jaffa had travelled to Kheb for centuries seeking to learn the required knowledge for their souls to be transformed and move onto that higher plane of existence; to become more. How many Jaffa had actually achieved the goal was unknown; how many had travelled and failed equally a mystery. But there was still the belief in every Jaffa heart that it could be achieved and with it a redemption that burned away past sins.

He had long since given up hopes of achieving such a goal himself. Teal'c knew he had too much blood on his hands; he had taken too many lives in the service of evil. No matter how much he did to even the scales of what he had done, it would never be enough. He knew that. He could only fight for those who stood against the evil for his remaining time and hope that it would be enough to grant a return to a good life on his death.

That Daniel Jackson had achieved Ascension filled Teal'c with a proud joy that mixed uneasily with the sorrow. He had lost his friend but his friend had achieved greatness and he had been acknowledged for his goodness, for his compassionate spirit. How could Teal'c not rejoice about that? How could he only wish that Daniel Jackson was still alive? Because Teal'c acknowledged with a heavy heart, deep down, selfishly, he wanted Daniel Jackson alive. He wanted his friend – his brother – by his side. He wanted SG1 to remain whole. He wanted something he could not have.

The Tau'ri had many rituals when someone died. Teal'c did not know which they would use given the circumstances. Perhaps a memorial…if they did so, Teal'c would request to speak. He wanted others to know of the man Daniel Jackson had been and of the friendship he had offered so freely. There were other rituals that he wanted to observe too…he wondered again if his team-mates would join him or if they would only want to grieve in their own way.

The chill of the night air finally seeped through Teal'c's oblivion and he stood swiftly in a smooth move that belied his formidable size and signalled his training as a warrior. He walked inside.

There was an unusual quiet in the base; respect and grief combined, Teal'c deduced. He observed the solemn nods from the men and women he passed, the cautious hesitation in some as they considered whether to acknowledge it or not.

Teal'c focused on getting to the mess. His stomach growled hungrily reminding him that he had not eaten for many hours. He filled a tray with a substantial serving and paused momentarily to search for a table. His dark eyes settled on one in the far corner.

It was already occupied by a single man. His light brown hair was swept back in the manner of the Kelownans but he was dressed in the SGC BDUs. Jonas Quinn, Teal'c surmised. He had been informed of the Kelownan's arrival on Earth. Jonas looked uncomfortable and scared although he was attempting to hide both emotions with a careful studied show of indifference. For a second, Teal'c felt anger rise in his gullet. Jonas Quinn had been witness to Daniel Jackson's heroism on Kelowna but had stood by and allowed the archaeologist to be accused of sabotage. He had eventually told the truth and had betrayed his government to bring Earth the naquadria although Teal'c believed that his main motivation had been guilt.

The naquadria was something of a puzzle to Teal'c. Major Carter believed it to be important; that it would prove useful in gaining an advantage against the Goa'uld. O'Neill had been more concerned that gaining it did not dishonour Daniel Jackson's name. Teal'c believed both views were valid. In the end, Jonas Quinn had allowed Earth to gain the naquadria and to ensure that the truth of Daniel Jackson's heroism was on record.

A group of Airmen bypassed Teal'c and headed for a table. He saw Jonas look at the group longingly before his eyes fell back to his food. Teal'c knew what it was to sit alone, an alien among the Tau'ri and envy the camaraderie of others. He had known what it was to have acted dishonourably toward the Tau'ri and to join with them anyway. He also knew what Daniel Jackson would do in his place. The anger died as abruptly as it had risen and Teal'c walked up to the Kelownan's table.

Jonas looked up, startled, and swallowed hastily. 'Teal'c.' There was a wariness in his gaze that Teal'c wholeheartedly approved of given the other man had no knowledge of his intentions.

'May I join you, Jonas Quinn?' Teal'c requested politely.

Surprise, relief and a quiet gratitude chased across Jonas's open expression as clearly as though he had spoken the emotions out loud. 'Of course.' He gestured at the array of empty seats.

Teal'c inclined his head and placed his tray down. He pulled out the chair opposite Jonas and sat down. He sprinkled salt on his main meal and dug into the chicken pie eagerly.

'What is that?' Jonas asked curious.

'It is a pie made of stewed chicken and mushrooms.' Teal'c informed him. 'It is a speciality of the chef.'

'And a chicken is?'

Teal'c held up a piece of white meat. 'It is a bird. A flying animal.'

'Ah.' Jonas smiled. 'You wouldn't happen to know what this is?' He raised a long cylindrical object.

'It is called a sausage.' Teal'c said briskly.

'A sausage.' Jonas looked at it intently. 'Is it an animal?'

'It is usually made from the meat of a pig or cow.' Teal'c said. 'Along with much of its offal.'

'Offal?'

'The internal organs.'

'Oh.' Jonas put the sausage down. 'Maybe I'll stick to these until I learn more about the food here.' He forked up some French fries.

'A wise decision.' Teal'c agreed, remembering some of his own early experiments.

Jonas chewed and swallowed. He picked up his water and took a sip. 'Thank you for keeping me company.'

Teal'c looked up briefly before he continued eating.

'I realise my presence here may not be welcome after everything that happened with Doctor Jackson.' Jonas admitted.

'It is likely that some will blame you for what has occurred.' Teal'c responded carefully.

'But not you?' Jonas questioned, holding Teal'c's gaze with a surprisingly forceful one of his own.

Teal'c approved of his directness. 'If I blamed you in any way for the death of Daniel Jackson, you would already be dead.'

Jonas's mouth fell open. He closed it with a snap and wet his lips. 'I blame myself.' He pushed his food across his plate. 'I stood by and watched it happen. I should have done something. If I had acted, your friend would be alive.'

'Perhaps.' Teal'c murmured. 'But you have cleared his name and provided us with something of value at considerable risk and sacrifice to yourself.'

'I betrayed my people.' Jonas flushed. 'It wasn't an easy decision.'

'It is not.' Teal'c agreed; he had done the same after all when he had determined to help O'Neill save the prisoners from Apophis's death sentence.

Jonas shifted in his chair as he pushed his plate away. 'I am sorry about Doctor Jackson.'

'He will be missed.' Teal'c said gruffly.

'He was a hero.' Jonas said quietly.

'Indeed.' Teal'c bowed his head. Sadness filled him again and he appreciated when the Kelownan kept quiet as though he sensed Teal'c's need for silence to grieve again and mourn the loss of his friend, his brother.

o-O-o

Jonas watched the Jaffa across the table and felt a wave of homesickness. In hindsight, he hadn't truly considered what he had done before he had done it. He had acted on a wave of bitter disappointment, of a sense of his government betraying him, of dashed hopes and expectations. He had believed wholeheartedly that a bomb would deter the other nations from attacking Kelowna yet what he had seen in the eyes of those elected to protect Kelowna had been an intent to use it.

Colonel O'Neill had been right, Jonas mused miserably. He had told Jonas that the only purpose for creating a bomb was to use it and Jonas hadn't believed him until he'd seen the truth of it for himself. Jonas reached for the green shiny round fruit he had picked up and popped one in his mouth. It exploded in a juicy sweetness that Jonas couldn't quite believe. He ate another.

He had made the right decision; he had. Doctor Jackson's people had deserved to know the truth of what had happened, of how he had saved so many. Jonas could remember the incident with a clarity that he didn't believe would ever leave him; the sudden blast of radiation; Tomas leaving; the imminent explosion…and Doctor Jackson pointing his weapon at the window and shooting, breaking it so he could jump through it and stop everything.

Jonas had done nothing but watch. Guilt filled him from head to toe. It should have been him. It was his planet and his facility. He should have acted not Doctor Jackson.

He sighed. He had been surprised when Teal'c had joined him. He had thought it was likely that most people around the base would blame him for the death of Doctor Jackson. He believed Colonel O'Neill did. He deserved to be blamed, Jonas argued with himself. He had stood by and done nothing; he had allowed Tomas to blame Doctor Jackson instead of recognising his heroism; he had been a coward.

Well, no more, Jonas determined. Perhaps he would be blamed and perhaps his being on Earth would not be comfortable but it was a suitable penance. He had left no one behind but a few friends and colleagues, his old mentor…but no one special, no family. He would make a life for himself on Earth; he would contribute and help them in their fight against their enemies and he would make up for his part in Daniel Jackson's death; he would make a difference.

o-O-o

_Finally, the nothingness became clear; the destination obvious – he reached with his mind and in a single thought was there…_

Daniel slumped to the sandy ground as his knees – and how did he have knees in an incorporeal form? – went weak. He felt tired, exhausted. He looked down in surprise and found he was in human form again.

He almost panicked.

Oma appeared beside him and smiled reassuringly. 'You are still Ascended, Daniel.' She looked out at the vast desert around them. 'You do not yet know enough about using the knowledge within you to retake human form.'

'So why am I, uh,' Daniel gestured down at himself. He wore Abydonian robes; he recognised them from his time living with Sha're.

'It is the most familiar form to you and therefore the easiest for you to assume.' Oma explained, dropping to sit cross-legged in front of him. 'Just as you brought us here because this was the location most in your mind and heart.'

'Here?' Daniel's nose wrinkled as he looked around searching for a clue to where his mind and heart had dumped him. His gaze caught on the sky and the suns. 'Abydos.'

'You have a strong tie to this place.' Oma commented, tucking her own robes around her body neatly.

'Yes.' Daniel admitted as he sat beside her. 'I guess I do.' He caught the look of concern that flitted through her eyes before she could hide it. 'Is that a bad thing?'

'It is a concern.' Oma tilted her head. 'There are rules.'

'Rules?' Daniel smiled. 'That didn't come up during the sales speech.'

Oma smiled enigmatically. 'You are already aware of them.' She swept a hand through the sand and an image of some ruins and a weapon appeared. 'You have already encountered one who failed to keep them.'

'Orlin.' Daniel looked around as though he would see him. When nobody appeared, he returned his gaze to Oma. 'You, uh, know about that?'

'All is known to us as it will be to you in time.' Oma said calmly.

Daniel sighed. 'So, these rules…they're about interfering, right?' He crossed his legs, making himself comfortable.

'We're not allowed to interfere in the lower planes.' Oma informed him. 'It is our most important rule.'

He frowned. 'But haven't you interfered?' He gestured at himself. 'Helping me to Ascend and what you did with Shifu on Kheb?'

'I walk a line, Daniel.' Oma admitted. 'My actions in helping some to Ascend are not approved by the Others. You will come under scrutiny.'

'OK.' Daniel said slowly.

Oma regarded him seriously. 'You know how they punished Orlin but believe me when I say that their punishments can be much greater and much more subtle in method and execution.'

Daniel held up a hand. 'I can understand their position. I mean, we've seen for ourselves some of the fallout when a civilisation gets advanced before its time.'

'The rule is one of the reasons why it was important that you chose to let go of your burden, of your ties to your previous existence.' Oma continued, her eyes scouring his.

Daniel flushed, unwilling to admit that he hadn't considered that he would leave his friends entirely or that he hadn't considered the rules. Perhaps some of his decision was flawed; he wouldn't be able to help them, he realised. They existed on a lower plane of existence. He couldn't interfere; save them with bolts of lightening, step in when things got tough. He could only watch and hope that they could save themselves.

Could he do that? He had to believe they would do fine without him. They had when they had gone on missions before without him. They didn't need him. If he had truly thought that they did he wouldn't have left. They were fighting a war and they were soldiers; he was not.

'I can return you to them.' Oma said softly as though she had read his mind. 'It can be undone.'

He looked at her sharply. 'No.' He shook his head. 'I don't want to go back. It's just…'

'You are part of them and they are part of you.' Oma murmured.

'Yes.' Daniel sighed. 'Is that a problem?'

Oma considered him seriously. 'You are the only one who can answer that.'

Daniel closed his eyes and considered the question again. He missed them already. He missed Jack with his quips and grumpy demeanour; Teal'c's quiet strength and inner wisdom; Sam's generous heart and brilliant mind that could keep pace with his own. They weren't just his team, they were his family.

But he could feel the need to continue with his decision as though it was a physical hunger. This was important. More important perhaps than anything he had ever done. He needed to do this; to Ascend, to learn. His decision was made. No matter how much he missed his friends.

He opened his eyes and nodded at Oma. 'It won't be a problem.'

Oma regarded him evenly before she seemed satisfied with his sincerity. She glanced around at the desert. 'This was once a beginning for you.'

'Yes.' Daniel agreed with a brief laugh. 'It was.' Abydos had been the first destination when he had travelled through the Stargate.

'And so it will be again.' Oma held out her hand. 'You have much to learn.'

Daniel reached out and clasped her hand. Maybe with Ascension he had finally found his place; finally found something where he could make a difference. It was time to find out.


	21. Healing Trilogy: Part I

**Author's Note: **This is posted in three parts as this is a long story. All highlights Daniel/Team friendship. First part: Sam/Jack UST, Sam/Jack/Teal'c friendship. Second part: Sam/Janet friendship, Sam/Cassie friendship, Jonas/Teal'c friendship. Third part: Jonas/Teal'c friendship, Team friendship. Personally doing happy dance that S5 is over and we're moving into S6...and we're halfway through Aftershocks as a series - 5 down, 5 to go!

**Revelations Recap:** _Deep in space, Thor challenges a Goa'uld ship manned by Osiris which has approached a Protected Planet. The Goa'uld shields hold; they can fight the Asgard. _

_Hammond finds Sam in Daniel's office; she's very upset and wonders how they're supposed to deal with his loss when they don't know if he's really dead or not. Hammond comforts her but there is an emergency. Freyr arrives and informs them that Thor has been killed by the Goa'uld and the Asgard no longer hold technological superiority; all the Protected Planets are in danger but that is not why Freyr has visited. She requests their help and Jack volunteers SG1._

_Sam catches up with Jack and protests but Jack is determined for them to get back to work and dismisses her concerns. On the cargo ship, Jack is clearly affected by Daniel's death, remaining alone, cleaning weapons in the back. Sam and Teal'c are in the front and discuss Daniel's Ascension. Sam is angry; she's tired of the 'way of the warrior' crap she feels Jack and Teal'c are pushing; she's grieving and wants someone to acknowledge that they feel the same. Teal'c eventually does confess that he would also rather have the archaeologist back._

_When they get to the planet, they avoid the Goa'uld ship by cloaking and find the underground science lab where a stranded Asgard scientist, Heimdall, awaits their help to escape along with vital research the Asgard are performing. They beam down to the planet. Heimdall greets them and informs them that Thor is alive and on the Goa'uld ship. Jack communicates with Thor via the holographic communications system which can penetrate the Goa'uld shields. Despite Thor's objections, Jack is determined to save him even though the Goa'uld are searching for the lab. Anubis arrive to interrogate Thor and Jack and Teal'c use the window of transportation to also transport to the Goa'uld ship. They are guided through the ship by a holographic Sam but Osiris captures them._

_Anubis uses a device on Thor to download his consciousness into the ship's computers which allows Thor to release Jack and Teal'c from their cell. They head to destroy the shields which will enable them to transport out but Osiris has found the lab. Luckily Heimdall and the research have already been transported to the cargo ship but Sam is still there. She is captured and Osiris begins to torture her. On the ship, Jack and Teal'c destroy the crystals and all are transported to the cargo ship. They try to escape but are clearly outmatched. Just as it looks hopeless, the Asgard arrive in a new generation of ships. The Goa'uld turn tail and run._

_Back at the SGC, Sam tells Hammond that the Asgard found Reese useful in the fight against the Replicators, but Thor is in a coma. They meet up with Jack and Teal'c at the elevator. Jack invites Sam to dinner with himself and Teal'c. Sam accepts. As she moves to get in the elevator with them, a rush of wind moves through the corridor. They agree it's probably a fault in the ventilation system but as Jack gets in the elevator and the breeze brushes by him again, he smiles enigmatically; could it be Daniel? _

**The Healing Trilogy**

**Part 1: Pick Yourself Up**

The walk to the General's office was daunting. It reminded Jonas Quinn of the one and only time he'd made the walk to the Senior Professor's office in his final year of school. He had been an exceptional student; two years ahead of his peers. The senior boys had talked him into participating in a prank on the Science Professor. They had needed his understanding of how to make a smelly bomb. It had exploded and stunk out an entire floor of the old building. Jonas had owned up but all he could really remember was the way his heart had pounded as he'd walked up the stairs and along the formal corridors to the Senior Professor's room to hear what would become of him.

The parallel wasn't lost on Jonas as he made his way with the same bitter taste of fear in his mouth and sweat on his palms. The walls might not have been panelled with beautiful old wood and adorned with the portraits of past Professors and students; the corridor may not have the once plush carpet that bore the tread of many others who had made the same walk, and the destination might be on a different planet, but Jonas knew his future hung just as much in the balance as it had done that miserable day on the planet of his birth, Kelowna.

Even the events that preceded each walk bore a remarkable similarity, Jonas mused miserably. He had, after all, been part of the science team responsible for building a naquadria bomb designed in theory to protect Kelowna from its neighbours. An experiment had gone wrong and killed four scientists. It had only been the quick thinking of Doctor Jackson that had saved the rest of the city and ensured that the accident was contained. The archaeologist had suffered for his heroism; he had almost died due to the tremendous radiation exposure before finally Ascending.

Jonas found the concept of Ascension fascinating. Just the idea of a human being relinquishing their physical form and becoming pure energy; transcending to another level of being…it boggled the mind, or at least it boggled _his_ mind. There seemed to be an ongoing debate in the SGC whether Daniel had cheated death by Ascending but as Jonas had overheard one Airman declare bluntly, either way Daniel was gone.

He felt responsible for that.

The guilt had grown in the hours and days after the accident on Kelowna especially when his fellow scientists had claimed Daniel had sabotaged the experiment. Colonel O'Neill had been rightly furious at the falsehood when he had spoken with Jonas. Jonas doubted whether he would have continued to keep quiet even if the Colonel hadn't intervened. He liked to think he would have spoken up regardless. In truth, his conscience had already been clamouring to confess. And so he had; he had confessed all to his government only for them to revel in the idea of how much destruction the bomb could inflict. It had been an uncomfortable wake-up call. Jonas had run to Earth with as much of the naquadria as he could gather in a wave of disappointment and righteousness only to realise he could never go back.

In many ways he had nothing to go back to – no family. His father had died when he was young, and his mother had died a few years before in a transportation accident. He had no brothers and sisters; no cousins. His work had consumed much of his time and energy. He had dated sporadically but there hadn't been a serious relationship since his childhood sweetheart had gently ended it, pointing out that he spent more time with his studies and research than he did with her. There were only a few friends and his old mentor that he truly regretted leaving behind.

Jonas shook off the self-pity. His loss was minor compared to Daniel's, he told himself briskly, or the loss of Daniel to those who grieved for him – the rest of the team called SG1. In the time since Daniel had gone, only Teal'c had approached Jonas with any semblance of friendship. Major Samantha Carter had kept her distance beyond some initial meetings to discuss the naquadria, as had the Colonel. He couldn't deny that he had been relieved when he had heard that SG1 had taken a mission. They were back though and Jonas knew he would have to find a way to live with the guilt that surged up every time he caught a glimpse of them. Maybe he had redeemed himself a little by clearing Daniel's name and bringing them the naquadria. Maybe he could do more if he worked hard to help Earth fight the Goa'uld; maybe if he helped ensure the naquadria could do more than blow things up…but it all was dependent on the meeting that was about to take place.

He swallowed hard against the lump that gathered in his throat as he reached the General's door. He took a moment to push a hand through his hair making sure the long strands were swept back neatly. He knocked sharply and opened at the call to enter.

General Hammond stood behind his desk. He radiated authority despite his somewhat homely appearance with the stout body and round face. He was signing forms briskly - to give to the waiting Sergeant, Jonas surmised. He recognised him as Siler; Teal'c had introduced them. Jonas hovered uncertainly in the doorway. Hammond looked up and waved him forward. Jonas complied, shutting the door softly behind him.

The General picked up the forms and handed them to the Sergeant. 'Here you go, Sergeant.'

'Thank you, sir.' Siler took the forms and turned to leave.

'Oh, and Siler?' Hammond called out as Siler reached the second doorway to the office – one that led to the main briefing room that overlooked the Stargate.

Siler stopped immediately, whirling back around to face his commanding officer. 'Sir?'

'You may want to take a look at the ventilation system. There was some kind of breeze in the corridor outside the elevator earlier.' Hammond said briskly.

'Sir.' Siler acknowledged the suggestion as the order it really was and left, closing the door behind him.

Jonas stood awkwardly in front of the desk. 'General. Sergeant Harriman said you wanted to see me.'

'Take a seat, son.' Hammond sat down himself as though to underscore the need for Jonas to do the same.

Jonas reached for the small leather chair and eased down into its comfortable cushions.

'I've discussed your request for sanctuary with my superiors and others here at the SGC.' Hammond said, immediately getting to the point of the meeting.

Jonas nodded, unable to speak; his heart hammered in his chest loudly.

Hammond clasped his hands on top of his desk and leaned forward. His cool blue eyes met Jonas's. 'Are you certain this is what you want?'

He wet his lips and folded his own hands across his stomach. 'As I explained, General, I can't go back to Kelowna.'

'There are other options.' Hammond said mildly. 'We have allies and there are other planets.' He paused. 'There is some concern that your presence here will upset people given recent events concerning Doctor Jackson, and there may even be those who blame you.'

He'd known it already but hearing it from the General so bluntly made it feel abruptly real. Jonas nodded, nervously. 'I realise that.'

Hammond looked at him for a long moment and Jonas tried hard not to squirm under the intense stare. The General finally dropped his gaze and picked up a report. He opened it and glanced at the contents.

'Doctor Fraiser notes that your test results were impressive.' Hammond commented. 'Both physical and mental agility scored very highly.'

'I've always been a fast learner.' Jonas sat forward eagerly. 'I can learn languages easily; I understand most scientific principles. I know I have some catch-up to do given the advancements and the technology you have but if you give me the chance I know I can contribute…' his voice trailed away as the General raised a hand.

'That's not in question.' Hammond said mildly. He closed the report. 'What is it that you want to achieve by staying?'

There was a kindness in the blue gaze that prompted Jonas into honesty. 'I'm responsible for what happened to Doctor Jackson. I should have been the one to go into the lab and stop the explosion.' He paused searching for the words. 'I know I can't go back and make that right but if I can help here in any way to make a difference than I will feel like I've done something.'

Hammond sat back in his chair. 'So you're looking for redemption?'

Jonas flushed. 'I hadn't thought about it in those terms.' He admitted. 'But, yes, I guess that's part of it.'

'And the other part?' Hammond questioned gently.

'I know this may seem strange given how I came to be here, but…' Jonas waved in the direction of the Stargate, 'I want to protect my planet from these Goa'uld. If I can help you fight them, help you make use of the naquadria, maybe one day I can help protect my own people.' He leaned forward again. 'Please, General. I need to do this.'

'I don't doubt that, son.' Hammond sighed. He pursed his lips as he considered Jonas's words. 'My superiors are inclined to give you sanctuary.'

Jonas felt his heart leap in hope but he banked it down.

'They've left the final decision with me.' Hammond continued. He stood up and walked around to the internal window in his office, staring out of it sightlessly. 'I have to consider the overall running of this base and how your presence may affect others.'

Just as his heart had leaped in hope a moment before; Jonas felt it seize then in fearful dread at the General's words.

'I have to tell you, Mister Quinn, that my initial thoughts were to decline your request.'

Jonas's mouth went dry but his mind latched onto the words frantically. 'Your initial thoughts?'

'Teal'c came to see me earlier.' Hammond spoke as though Jonas hadn't said a word. 'He reminded me that I had a similar call to make five years ago regarding his being here.' He gave a huff of laughter. 'I assigned him to SG1.' He turned back to Jonas. 'So I am agreeing to your request for sanctuary.'

Jonas's eyes went wide with disbelief and gratitude. 'Thank you.'

'Don't thank me yet.' Hammond said crisply, returning to his seat. 'There will be a probationary period. If I feel during that time that your presence is disruptive to the base, I'll revoke this decision.'

'I understand.' Jonas said quickly.

Hammond looked at Jonas seriously. 'You'll join the base archaeology and social science department. You'll report to Doctor Kerry. You've made a request for Doctor Jackson's office to remain intact and to study his work?'

'If it's possible, I believe once I've learned his work, I can assume some of Doctor Jackson's duties in translating and cataloguing.'

'I'll discuss it with Colonel O'Neill.' Hammond frowned as though anticipating the meeting.

Jonas nodded his assent swiftly and decided he might as well ask for everything he wanted. 'I'd also very much like to join a SG team, General.'

'One step at a time.' Hammond said clearly, his face lighting up with a quiet humour. 'We'll see how you go. If there are no problems and you perform well during your probationary period, I see no reason why you can't attend training and have your name go forward for selection along with others when vacancies arise.' He picked up a folder and stood up. 'This provides you with your cover story and identification papers should you need them. I'm afraid you're restricted to the base for the present time; quarters will be assigned to you. You'll report to Doctor Kerry first thing tomorrow morning at oh-eight-hundred.'

Jonas got to his feet and took the folder. 'Thank you, General.'

'Welcome to the SGC, son.' Hammond gave a sharp nod.

He returned it, understanding it was a dismissal. Jonas left the office almost numb with relief. He stood outside the office in the corridor for a long moment. He had been given a chance. Anticipation and excitement, guilt and fear rose up inside him and kept him from moving forward.

A wash of air rushed over him and broke the spell. Jonas shoved his hair hurriedly back into position. He guessed Siler hadn't had time to see to the ventilation system. He breathed out slowly and began to walk toward the elevator. He had been given a chance to redeem himself; to help his planet; he wouldn't waste it.

o-O-o

The surviving members of SG1 had ended up back at the Colonel's house. There had been a brief discussion on where to eat in the elevator as they had made their way to the surface of the mountain, and they had realised none of them felt like dining in public. Everything was too raw.

Sam pondered whether the Colonel's house was any better as she pulled up behind his truck. She glanced in the mirror and saw the reassuring lights of the base car Teal'c had borrowed behind her. At least she wasn't alone with the Colonel. She bit her lip as she switched her ignition off and made to get out of the car.

There was tension between her and the Colonel. A lot of tension. And unfortunately it wasn't the kind that had plagued their relationship before. That had been rooted in knowing there was an impossible love and attraction between them given their military ranks and working relationship; something they'd had to put away in order to continue serving together to perform their mission. The latest tension was all anger and hurt; hard and bitter.

They'd managed to work around it on the mission or more accurately, they'd buried it just as they'd buried their other feelings. They'd focused on the mission and getting it done. In many ways, the Colonel had been right about taking the assignment, Sam mused. If they hadn't, the Asgard might never have retrieved Thor and the Goa'uld would have discovered the lab with its important research so essential to the Asgard's future. It had been good that SG1 – or what remained of it – had been there to help yet it didn't change the hard lump of anger in Sam's stomach at the Colonel's insistence on taking the mission despite the recent loss of Daniel.

She knew the roots of her anger were in Daniel's death – Ascension – whatever it was, and tangled more by her CO's way of dealing with it. She didn't doubt the Colonel's pain. Daniel had been his friend before SG1 had existed. Regardless of his military bravado and macho front, she knew he missed him and mourned him. The problem was that he was acting like it didn't matter, shutting her out, and that hurt.

On one level, she understood it. He wasn't the type of man to discuss his feelings and share his pain. He preferred dealing with things on his own and she could relate to that. If it had been anyone but Daniel, Sam wouldn't have thought twice about giving him the space he needed so badly. But it was Daniel and she needed the Colonel - Jack, Sam admitted to herself silently. She needed to lean on him, to grieve for Daniel with him. And that was all screwed up because she wasn't meant to need her CO to comfort her over the loss of a team-mate, wasn't meant to want him to confide his pain and to comfort him so she could feel less alone. Her needs were all upside down because she continued to love him. She had to get past it; accept he wasn't going to turn to her and accept she couldn't turn to him.

Her eyes lowered as though to hide that truth from him. She followed the Colonel silently into his house. He gestured for them to make their way into the den without saying a word and Sam made her way over to a comfortable chair. She felt awkward and out of place. She wasn't entirely certain the Colonel wanted her there. She had run into him and Teal'c at the elevator. She had been with the General and she figured Jack had issued the invitation because it had been expected.

He had made it clear before the mission that he didn't want to talk about Daniel with her. He had shut down every attempt by her to talk and he had barely spoken with her unless she had initiated the conversation. He was angry at her.

The thought brought a rush of pain and guilt. She had been unable to save Daniel. If she had been able to use the Goa'uld healing device as well as her father she would have been able to save him. But her skills were poor and she had only made it worse. Moreover, she and the Colonel had clashed over the naquadria and dealing with the Kelownans when they had been determined to accuse Daniel of sabotage. The Colonel hadn't wanted to give any ground while Daniel's name was being smeared; she wanted the element because she knew it was too important to let go. She wasn't sure the Colonel would ever forgive her for that.

Maybe he had wanted to exclude her from the dinner for other reasons, Sam mused; maybe he had just wanted an evening with Teal'c. He and the Jaffa had a deep friendship and both of them had similar coping strategies. Teal'c may not have shut her out in the same way as the Colonel but their conversation on their way to the Asgard lab had revealed that the Jaffa was struggling to understand how Sam felt. It reminded her far too much of when her mother had died, how her father and her brother hadn't understood how she felt either and ultimately, how they'd left her to deal with her grief alone. The irony of Daniel's loss was that he was the one person who would have understood, who would have reached out to her and comforted her.

As she watched Jack and Teal'c see to the drinks, she felt more and more like a third wheel. Maybe if she wasn't with them it would have given them both an opportunity to talk about Daniel. Her chest tightened at the idea. She had accepted the invite because she had needed to be with them despite everything, but maybe she should offer to leave and…

'Pizza OK with everyone?' Jack's brusque voice broke through Sam's thoughts as he handed her a beer.

Teal'c nodded from his position on the sofa.

Jack's gaze bounced to her and Sam nodded quickly. She would just stay to eat, Sam decided. As soon as she was done, she would make her excuses and leave. She relaxed a little with her plan firmly in place.

'Pizza it is then.' Jack declared and picked up the phone. 'Three pizzas with everything?'

'Don't forget Daniel doesn't like…' Sam stopped abruptly. She felt the warm blush flood her face; felt the pain arrow through her at her unthinking words. She was blind to their understanding faces as she got to her feet. 'Sorry. I, uh…sorry.' She strode out before either Teal'c or Jack could stop her.

The cold air hit as soon as she got past the front door and she couldn't stop the tears. They tumbled down her cheeks and she swiped at them furiously as she fumbled for her car key. She barely had her fingers around the plastic fob when she dropped it. She crouched down, made what she considered a half-assed attempt to find it and, when she failed, covered her face with her hands as she sobbed.

A minute, Sam thought miserably. She would look for the key in a minute and leave, go home where she could go to pieces in private. Alone like always.

o-O-o

For a heartbeat, Jack stared at the door which Carter had closed behind her a moment before. He glanced back at Teal'c helplessly who looked back at him equally bemused. Where the hell was Daniel when he was needed, Jack thought morosely. It had always been Daniel who had been there for Carter in the past when she needed a shoulder to cry on; Jack knew that. She might talk with Jack about her professional concerns, discuss stuff with Teal'c when she needed a neutral sounding board, but Daniel had been the shoulder. Her relationship with the archaeologist wasn't complicated by the military boundaries and the past emotional crap that Carter and he shared around their once mutual feeling feelings, nor did Carter worry about losing face as a warrior with Daniel as she did with Teal'c.

Jack pushed a hand through his short grey hair. 'Damn it.'

Of course the problem was Daniel wasn't there to comfort Carter. She was left with him and Teal'c, and Jack figured neither of them was handling it – her – right. Teal'c could be excused to some extent. Despite his many years with the Tau'ri, there was still a wide cultural gap that the Jaffa had to overcome. So Teal'c had an excuse for not knowing what to say; what to do.

Which left him, Jack mused darkly. And he had no idea what the hell to say to her. Not to mention he didn't feel he had any right to comfort her. To Carter, he was just her CO; nothing more, nothing less. She may have moved on but he hadn't. He knew he had hesitated to offer any comfort in case it revealed too much of his own feelings for her but he also couldn't deny it suited him. He preferred to deal with his pain and misery about losing Daniel alone.

He figured Carter was angry at him about that. He could see the fury swimming in her eyes every time she looked at him. And not only that. He figured she was angry that he had been the one to let Daniel Ascend, to stand aside and let him leave them. Jack figured she was never going to forgive him for that. He wasn't sure he was going to forgive himself yet certain he'd had no real choice in the decision. But in some ways he couldn't help think it had been the right decision for Daniel given the younger man's questioning of whether his place was at the SGC. At least, he was safe from the war with the Goa'uld.

Unlike the rest of SG1.

The mission to save the Asgard had been a mistake, Jack mused. Oh, it had been successful in that they'd saved the Asgard scientist and pulled Thor's butt out of the fire too but it had been too soon. Carter had almost paid for that with her life. The sight of her holographic image collapsing as she'd taken a zat hit flitted through his mind and sent a shiver down his spine. She had been captured; tortured. That had been his fault. He had just been so desperate to get away from the mountain with its corridors fogged with loss; so determined to prove that they could do it without Daniel.

Teal'c moved so silently Jack started when the Jaffa appeared at his elbow. Teal'c plucked the phone out of Jack's unsteady grasp. 'You need to speak with Major Carter, O'Neill.'

Jack opened his mouth to argue and closed it again at the Jaffa's resolute expression. There was no arguing with Teal'c when he got that look. And if he was being honest, Jack knew he didn't want to argue about it. Maybe he had only been waiting for Teal'c or someone to insist that he go to her, Jack realised with a touch of embarrassment. He took a deep breath and walked outside.

He didn't see her for a long moment in the patch of light from the house that illuminated the drive. His heart lifted at the sight of her car before sinking abruptly at the thought of her walking home in the cold and dark. He took a step and spotted movement.

Carter was crouched by her car door; her head in her hands. He could tell from the way her shoulders shook that she was crying. His gut clenched into knot and he hovered uncertain whether he should approach her or not. His jaw firmed as she gave a weary hiccup on another sob and he took another step toward her.

'Carter.'

Sam stood up abruptly, whirling away from him. Jack could tell she was desperately trying to clear up the evidence of her crying jag; desperately trying to pretend she was fine.

'Sir.' The tears were embedded in the single word.

Jack sighed silently as he moved to stand behind her. He reached out a hand and took hold of her shoulder. She flinched at his touch and he dropped his hand as though it had been burned. She didn't want him to touch her: fine. 'Come inside.' He tried and failed to keep the exasperation out of his voice.

'I need to go home.' Sam said, sniffling.

'You need to come inside.' Jack contradicted brusquely.

He could see her spine snap straight; her body going rigid. He felt a rush of frustration at his own ineptness; anger stirring. He was crap at this stuff, Jack thought angrily; what did she expect?

'Thank you, sir, but I'd rather go home.' Sam said stiffly.

'Well, too bad, Carter.' Jack bit out. 'You're going to come inside, have a beer and eat pizza.'

She spun to face at him and he caught a glimpse of annoyance as it rippled over her delicate features. 'With all due respect, sir, we're off duty; you can't order me to do anything.'

He plastered a smile on his face and shoved his hands in his pockets. He'd been spoiling for a fight for days so if she wanted one, he was more than willing. 'If I think it's vital to team cohesion, you bet your ass I can.'

Sam shot him a look of furious disbelief. She bent down and picked something up from the ground. Her car key, Jack realised. On an impulse, he stepped forward and grabbed it out of her hand before she could use it to make her get away. Her lips parted on a huff of surprise.

'What are you doing?' Sam demanded. 'Give it back.'

'Give it back, _sir_.' Jack corrected; more to needle her than anything. She gaped at him. 'Oh, for crying out loud, just get inside, Carter.' He snapped.

'Go to hell.' Sam snarled back.

He didn't know who was more shocked at her response as his eyebrows shot up and he watched the mortification wash across her face. Carter just wasn't the insubordinate type unless the safety of Earth or someone she cared about was at stake. She went pale as a ghost before she whirled away, striding down his driveway with a singular purpose. Evidently, deprived of her car, she intended walking.

Jack closed his eyes as the anger drained out of him abruptly. He couldn't have handled it worse if he tried, he considered with bleak humour, and if he didn't fix it and fast, he had a terrible feeling it wouldn't just be Daniel who left SG1. He let out a long breath and opening his eyes, started out after her. 'Carter.'

She ignored him and kept on walking, putting distance between them.

'Carter.' He caught her up and grabbed her arm to pull her to a stop. 'Stop, damn it.'

Sam halted but she refused to look at him.

Jack sighed heavily. 'Look, just…come inside.' He wet his lips and ignored the cold that seeped through his clothes. 'Please.'

'Why?' Sam blurted out without looking at him. 'You don't want me here.'

Jack felt as though she had slapped him. She thought he didn't want her around? Well, he hadn't done anything to make her think any differently, had he, Jack mused tiredly. Since Daniel had Ascended he had avoided her deliberately and he knew she had known it. He'd just needed space to come to terms with what had happened but…it had hurt her, he realised seeing her gaze drop to the road.

'Please.' Her choked voice interrupted his thoughts. 'Sir, I can't…' she swallowed the sob but he heard it.

It tore down the last of his defences. He sighed heavily as he shoved a hand through his hair before he reached for her.

'C'mere.'

Jack pulled Carter gently toward him and when she didn't protest, wrapped his arms around her. He felt her shaking with cold and tears as she burrowed into him, and he tightened his hold. His own grief rose up inside; brought tears to sting the back of his eyes and choke his breath. He craved her; the safe, solid reality of her. He buried his face in her neck, breathing in her scent while one of his hands clasped the back of her head tightly. He felt her arms grip him hard. He didn't know how long they stood holding onto each other as though each was the other's life raft. He only knew when her tears abated and she shifted in his arms.

'I'm so mad at him for leaving.'

It was no more than a whisper but Jack heard it and knew it was true for both of them. They'd been hitting out at each other because the person they were really angry with wasn't around to take the punches.

He eased back to examine her damp face but didn't let go of her. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a tissue. He always carried one and refused to consider that it was usually for Daniel and his allergies. He handed her the tissue so she could blow her nose. He took a step away from her.

'I'm sorry, Carter.' Jack said bluntly. 'I was out of line.' He handed her the car key.

She nodded. 'I'm sorry too for…' she gestured at him in lieu of finishing her sentence.

He could see her blush even in the dim light. 'I probably deserved it.'

'Probably, sir?'

Her retort was edged with humour and Jack gave her points for trying to lighten things.

The sound of a motorbike had the two of them hurriedly shifting back to the relative safety of the cars. The pizza delivery boy stopped and stared at them with obvious bemusement.

'Uh, pizza?'

Jack waved him over and took hold of the three large boxes. Teal'c must have gone ahead and ordered. His wallet was in the house, Jack realised. 'Carter, can you, uh?'

She pulled out her wallet from a pocket and paid the teenager who looked at her frowning before darting Jack a suspicious look.

'Are you OK, miss?' The teenager asked with more guts than Jack had credited him with.

'I'm fine.' Sam smiled, and reassured that she was fine, the teenager left.

Jack raised the pizzas. 'We should get these inside before Teal'c gets cranky.'

Sam nodded and went to walk past him into the house.

Jack touched her arm gently as she reached for the door. 'Carter.'

She turned to look at him quizzically.

'About before, I, uh…' he wondered how he told her he wanted her there and wanted to be there for her if she needed someone; how he could say it without giving away everything else he felt.

Sam smiled sadly. 'It's OK, sir.' She walked away before he could stop her and he was left wondering what she thought he was going to say.

She was grieving and so was he, Jack reminded himself ruthlessly. They both needed to adjust to life without Daniel. But he could be there for her as a friend while they did, Jack determined, firmly ignoring the small voice inside that told him he needed her too.

o-O-o

Teal'c watched with satisfaction as his two team-mates fought playfully over the last slice of pizza. The tension that had between them since Daniel Jackson had departed was gone and Teal'c was thankful for that. Major Carter had been devastated by the loss of their friend and neither he nor O'Neill seemed able to provide her with the words she needed to hear. His discussion with her on the cargo ship came back to him and he winced inwardly at how badly he had misjudged his replies to her. She hadn't wanted a warrior's stoic adhesion to duty; she had wanted someone to acknowledge they felt the same pain. In the end, only his quiet admission that he too would have preferred Daniel Jackson to come back to them seemed to satisfy her.

He knew their team leader had not even attempted to understand the Major's grief before their mission. Partly, Teal'c considered, because O'Neill himself had been consumed by the loss, and partly, because he believed O'Neill feared that to open up and share would be too revealing to the Major. Both had been hurting; both had needed the other and both were too stubborn to simply say what needed to be said. He had heard their raised voices after he had pushed O'Neill to tend to her and had wondered whether to intervene. His team-mates often debated and they often disagreed, but they rarely ever yelled at each other as they had done earlier that evening. The yelling had been necessary, Teal'c mused. Both had been filled with anger and that was now dissipated. It left the way clear for their healing to begin – both individually and as a team.

Teal'c continued to let them debate who should have the pizza slice for another moment before he simply picked it up and took a bite. The argument stopped immediately as both of them stared at him.

'Well, I guess that settles that.' Jack remarked dryly. He turned to the woman beside him. 'Ice cream, Carter?'

She smiled tremulously back at him and nodded her agreement. Teal'c considered that she would have accepted regardless of her own desires simply to keep O'Neill happy. His theory was confirmed a few minutes later when Sam accepted the bowl and stirred the ice cream listlessly. Jack handed Teal'c a bowl and he eagerly scooped up the cold confectionary, letting it melt on his tongue. He watched as Sam took a meagre taste of hers and set it aside. He would finish it, Teal'c determined, after he had consumed his own bowl.

Jack sat down with a third bowl and cleared his throat. 'Hammond wants us to have a memorial.' His eyes remained on his ice cream.

Teal'c's gaze went straight to Sam. He saw her freeze momentarily before her fingers began to worry at the edge of her shirt.

'He suggested it a couple of days ago and I…I told him we'd think about it.' Jack continued.

The Colonel had not informed them though. Teal'c surmised that until that evening it had probably been O'Neill's intention to have refused the memorial without discussion.

'So,' Jack said brightly, 'what do you guys think?'

'It seems so…final.' Sam said eventually. She clasped her fingers together over her knees.

'That's what I thought.' Jack agreed. It prompted her into looking at him and they shared a small, sad smile of understanding. Jack dropped his gaze again and pushed his ice cream around the bowl. 'Hammond thinks we need to do something to improve morale around the base.'

It was a valid point, Teal'c thought without surprise. He lived on the base and he was only too aware how quiet the corridors had been since Daniel Jackson had left them. Everyone seemed unsure what to say; whether to say anything. It was oppressive and stifling. Perhaps that was why he had been only too willing to accede to O'Neill's decision to take the mission helping the Asgard, and perhaps why O'Neill himself had taken the opportunity to leave. From the look on Major Carter's face she was also coming to the same realisation.

A fragment of a conversation drifted back to Teal'c. He had been talking with Jonas Quinn about those he had left on Kelowna; of his own experience in leaving Chulak.

'_I would have liked to have said goodbye.' Jonas said, his eyes shining with regret. 'The way I did it…my friends are going to think, well, I don't know what they're going to think. I just wish I'd had a chance to have a farewell party and explain it all to them.'_

'A farewell party.' Teal'c repeated the phrase out loud, capturing his team-mates' attention.

'A what?' Jack questioned.

'If Daniel Jackson had simply left on a long assignment would there not have been a gathering to wish him well, O'Neill?' Teal'c warmed to his idea.

'Like a Bon Voyage party.' Sam nodded. 'That's true.'

Jack grimaced. 'Really?'

Sam hesitated for a moment before she spoke again. 'If you think about it, sir, it could work. I mean, we don't know for certain that Daniel is actually,' she stumbled over the word, 'you know…'

'Dead?' Jack supplied caustically.

'He could come back.' Sam concluded. Her blue eyes shone with poorly concealed hope.

Teal'c exchanged a look with his team leader; he knew O'Neill believed that Daniel was gone for good as did he.

'OK.' Jack agreed, licking his spoon. 'A farewell party but without the guest of honour.' He pulled a face. 'I'll talk to Hammond.' He sighed. 'There's also the question of SG1.'

'What about SG1?' Sam asked bluntly.

Teal'c saw his own concern mirrored in her eyes. They had assumed the team would continue regardless. Teal'c believed both his remaining team-mates needed it to continue for constancy in the wake of their loss.

Jack set his bowl aside, nudging the spoon into the centre. 'Hammond wants me to assign a fourth member.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

'I guess that makes sense.' Sam said mildly. 'All the SG teams have four members.'

'Hammond's going to pull together candidates.' Jack looked at both of them sharply. 'I want your input. We're all going to have to work with whoever comes on board.'

'Yes, sir.' Sam responded automatically.

Teal'c inclined his head and reached for her ice cream. He began eating as Jack acknowledged their agreement with a nod.

'There's, uh, also the matter of Daniel's stuff.' Jack said. 'I'm the…uh, executor.' He pressed his lips together. 'There are things he wanted you both to have, and…' he stopped as though unable to continue.

Sam's eyes were filled with tears.

Teal'c paused and lowered his spoon. 'Perhaps it would be wise to place his things into storage until such time as we are ready to assume guardianship of his gifts to us.'

'That would work.' Sam agreed quickly. She shot him a grateful look.

'Yeah.' Jack sighed and leaned back. 'And that just leaves telling Kasuf and Skaara.'

'What of Nicholas Ballard?' Teal'c asked, remembering Daniel's grandfather.

'Hammond sent SG3 while we were away.' Jack said. 'I called Catherine and his foster family when Daniel…' he raised a hand to the ceiling, 'so that just leaves the folks on Abydos.'

'When do we leave?' Sam asked as though there was no question that they were all going.

'I was thinking tomorrow.' Jack replied. 'Hammond agreed.'

Teal'c nodded. Abydos was always an uncomfortable reminder of who he had once been and the crimes he had wrought against Daniel Jackson. As the First Prime of Apophis he had been responsible for invading Abydos and taking Sha're, Daniel's wife, and Skaara to be hosts. He had never understood how Daniel had forgiven him or how Skaara had done the same. It did not matter that Abydos caused him discomfort, Teal'c reminded himself briskly; he would go because he owed it to Daniel Jackson.

The discussion over; they all acquiesced to a movie. Half-way through The Wizard of Oz, his team-mates fell asleep. The Major rested her head against O'Neill's shoulder, and his in turn came to rest atop hers. Teal'c watched over them. He knew their healing had only just begun; there would be a long road ahead of them.

o-O-o

Daniel watched the suns rising over Abydos. The tower in which he sat had been one of Sha're's favourite places. He could smell the heavy perfume of the desert flowers; the undertone of human sweat and grime; the musty odour of the animals that lived around the encampment. It was all so familiar and comforting to him.

Oma had left the evening before and he was alone for the first time as an Ascended being. He could feel everything around him; could see with his eyes closed; breathe without taking a breath. His new form was a wonder to him. He remained most of the time in his old human shape – it was also familiar and comforting – but he'd learned in the past few days how to hide himself from others and how to use some of his new powers. It was such a rush. Knowledge hovered at his fingertips; power filled his every pore.

He frowned. Did he have pores? He shook the question away. He had to admit that he loved everything about his new form. And as soon as Oma had left, he'd tested his powers. He'd returned to the SGC briefly. He'd spotted Jack, Sam and Teal'c, and sent a rush of air through the system. He figured Jack would appreciate the gesture, just an 'I'm OK' thing. He'd stayed with the SGC for a while viewing the comings and goings of the SG teams from afar. He'd stayed long enough to see Jonas Quinn receive sanctuary, and he'd brushed by him too – a gesture of good luck.

He had no ill will towards the Kelownan. Maybe if he'd hadn't been dealing with the knowledge he was going to die, he might have been irked in the immediate aftermath about the whole sabotaging the experiment lie, but he knew that had not been Jonas's doing. Jonas had gone for medical help when Tomas had turned up with the guards and shouted his false accusations. In the end, Jonas had cleared his name and the naquadria he had given Earth would open up new advancements – Sam had been right about that and Daniel knew that for certain now in a way he hadn't before. So, he wished Jonas well and hoped Earth would be a sanctuary for him.

Daniel had finally left the SGC and looked back in on his team again. They'd been at Jack's. Teal'c had been guarding the other two while they slept. They had all looked sad; worn – even Teal'c. He had suddenly felt the pull of their emotions; heavy guilt that he wanted to lift, the remnants of deep anger that he wanted to soothe and a sharp, bitter grief at losing him that had sent him reeling.

How had he not known how much they cared about him? Especially when he felt that way about them? It had stirred up a lot of guilt and doubt inside him. He hadn't appreciated what he'd had; he'd taken them for granted and, in that singular moment, he had realised that they had lost him but he had lost them too.

Daniel had returned to Abydos and spent the night mourning. He had lost the three best friends he'd ever had his whole life and more, SG1 was his family. He had lost his family and it had been his choice. He had been the one to walk away and leave them behind. That thought sent another wave of guilt through him.

He'd left them behind.

Broken the number one rule they lived by.

He wasn't sure Jack would ever forgive him; he wasn't sure he deserved to be forgiven. He'd made his choice for purely selfish reasons.

Because he was tired of fighting.

Because he wanted to do more; be more.

He hadn't even considered them in his decision. He'd given their words of love and compassion to him at his sickbed no more than a cursory thought. And he'd hurt them terribly; Daniel could feel each sliver of pain he'd caused; each wound he'd inflicted.

He had missed them fiercely through the long Abydonian night – enough that he had seriously considered returning to them. He didn't know if it was fortunate or not that his first set of lessons hadn't included making himself mortal again.

In the end though, Daniel knew he couldn't go back. There was something within him that knew he'd made the right decision; that knew he needed to do this wherever it took him and no matter what he had lost, he had to continue, had to see it through. It was important. The sense of right filled him with peace and washed away his grief as the bright sunlight washed over the golden sand.

The Stargate was spinning. He could feel the vibration through the atmosphere; tingles running down his spine – or where his spine used to be. He tensed and focused; seeing through to the pyramid. He knew as soon as the first ripple signalled their arrival; it was SG1.

Teal'c appeared first. He studied the pyramid carefully, assessing whether there was danger. Jack stepped through a moment later. He also paused on top of the steps, getting his bearings. Sam was last. She looked pale in the desert BDUs. He felt rather than saw Jack's rush of concern and love for her as he checked she'd made it through OK.

It staggered Daniel for a moment. How could someone love that much and hide it away? He watched as Jack turned away a moment before Sam turned toward him, and there was another rush of love and worry; this time from Sam to Jack. He had thought the two had moved on but he had been wrong. They had simply buried their feelings, he realised. He sighed and wondered whether the two of them would ever get their act together. He watched as they moved out into the desert sun; Jack putting on his sunglasses, Sam smearing herself with extra lotion and Teal'c guarding them both like a hawk. Something he'd seen so many times before and never thought about.

What were they doing on Abydos, Daniel wondered. He got his answer as they finally arrived at the encampment.

'O'Neill.' Skaara rushed up to greet them. 'You have come for a visit?' His dark eyes darted around the threesome. 'Daniel is not with you?' His Abydonian lilt turned Daniel to Dan-yel.

Jack shook his head. 'Is your father around? We have some news.'

Skaara nodded, sobering in the face of Jack's grave expression. 'This way.'

They'd come to inform Kasuf and Skaara, Daniel realised; to tell what remained of his other family, the one he had shared with Sha're, that he was dead. He couldn't watch it. He pulled his senses inward until all he could see was the sand and all he could hear was the breeze that whispered through the tower.

'They love you very much.'

Daniel's head swivelled to the voice, and a smile crept over his face. 'Shifu.'

'Father.' Shifu smiled happily back at him. 'It is good to see you again.'

'It's good to see you.' Daniel hugged him.

'Oma thought you might want some company while you become accustomed to your new life.' Shifu informed him as they settled again.

Daniel nodded. 'Thank you. I'd like that.'

Shifu regarded him seriously. 'You are questioning your decision.'

'Yes. No.' Daniel sighed. 'I just miss the people I left behind.' He pointed towards Kasuf's home. 'They're telling the Abydonians that I've died, Ascended.' A wave of his hand punctuated each word and gave away his internal turmoil.

'And you feel their pain.'

'Yes.' Daniel sighed. 'And know I caused it.' He smiled sadly. 'I didn't have to do this.'

Shifu tilted his head. 'I believe the opposite to be true. This was necessary for you to continue your journey.'

Daniel looked at him. 'Maybe you're right.'

'Just as I wanted to stay with you but my journey had to continue on this path.' Shifu said softly.

'I guess that's why we're asked to give up our burdens.' Daniel quipped, trying to lighten the moment.

'Oma can return you.' Shifu's expression gave away his own desire to have Daniel remain.

'I've made my choice.' Daniel replied firmly. 'I don't know why but I think I have to do this.'

'Then may we travel together for a while, Father?'

'I'd like that.' Daniel said. He smiled. 'I think your mother would have liked that too. This was one of her favourite places.'

Shifu raised his face eager for the story and Daniel began to tell him. He felt his connection to the others dimming until they were once again a faint echo. But even as he allowed the feelings to fade, he knew he could never let them go completely; he loved them too much and somehow he knew it was something he was going to have to find a way to keep from Oma.

Continued in Part II


	22. Healing Trilogy: Part II

**The Healing Trilogy**

**Part 2: Dust Yourself Off**

'Well, I guess this wasn't the new start you wanted.' Janet Fraiser commented wryly, as she stripped the latex gloves from her hands and threw them in a bin.

Jack glowered at her.

'How is he?' Sam asked, gesturing at the unconscious form of Doctor Ambrose Kerry. There was a crease of worry between her brows.

'He's stable.' Janet said, scribbling her latest observations and instructions on the clipboard at the end of the bed.

'He's unconscious.' Jack argued, waving a hand at the archaeologist who had joined SG1 two days before.

'He was struck by a heavy object, O'Neill.' Teal'c pointed out although his dark eyes remained fixed on the man in the bed. There was a large purplish bruise forming on Kerry's white forehead giving truth to the Jaffa's statement.

'He's in a drug induced coma.' Janet corrected swiftly, replacing the clipboard. 'There's some swelling in his brain.' She raised a hand at the worried expressions. 'Which is likely to subside given enough time and rest, and if not, we'll operate.'

Jack sighed heavily. 'How long?'

'I can't say for certain.' Janet ignored his unhappy face. 'But I wouldn't expect him to be back in rotation for at least a month.'

The Colonel pushed a hand through his short grey hair. 'I'm going to talk to Hammond.' He turned and strode away before any of them could say something.

Evidently, Doctor Kerry's status as a SG1 team member was at an end, Janet thought with dry amusement.

'I will remain with Doctor Kerry.' Teal'c said solemnly.

Janet nodded. She looked at Sam and jerked her head towards the door. Sam fell into step beside her and Janet waited until they were clear of the ward before she spoke again.

'So what exactly happened?' Janet let her amusement colour her tone.

'We're not entirely certain.' Sam admitted. 'I was performing some soil samples, the Colonel and Teal'c were doing a perimeter check, Ambrose was examining the ruins…and the next minute, he's yelling. We all go running and he's lying in a really deep hole with this massive log sticking out of the wall he was studying.'

Janet led the way into her office. 'So it was some kind of defensive mechanism?'

'That's what we think.' Sam dropped into a visitor's chair while Janet served up two mugs of coffee. Sam accepted hers with a small smile of thanks.

'I take it the Colonel will ask for Doctor Kerry to be reassigned.' Janet sat down and took a gulp of the hot, strong liquid.

'It wasn't going well before…' Sam waved vaguely with her mug. She sighed. 'I think it's because he's too like Daniel.'

'I guess that makes sense as he was Daniel's named successor.' Janet remarked.

Sam nodded. 'The problem is that Daniel could get away with being the way he was with the Colonel because he was Daniel. Ambrose…' she trailed away unhappily.

'Isn't Daniel.' Janet supplied.

'He was arguing for more time to study the ruins and the Colonel called him Daniel.' Sam shook her head, her eyes staring into the depths of her mug. 'You should have seen his face, Janet.'

Janet knew Sam wasn't referring to Kerry. 'There was always going to be a period of adjustment. You all worked with Daniel for a long time.'

Sam grimaced. 'Well, I guess we'll be adjusting with someone other than Ambrose.' She looked up sharply. 'He is going to be OK?'

'Head injuries always need close monitoring.' Janet said cautiously. 'But the signs are positive and we'll do our best.'

'Maybe I should try the healing device.' Sam's gaze dropped to her mug.

Janet sighed and leaned forward, placing a hand on Sam's arm. 'It wasn't your fault Daniel died.'

'I should have tried to heal him when he first came back to the SGC.' Sam muttered. 'Maybe it would have worked.'

'And maybe it wouldn't.' Janet said softly. She had been the one to suggest Sam try the healing device that Sam could use occasionally thanks to her brief time as an unwilling host to the Tok'ra Jolinar. She felt a twinge of guilt at the other woman's pain.

'My Dad got it to work.' Sam said stubbornly.

'Your father is hosting a Tok'ra symbiote with years of experience in using the device.' Janet squeezed Sam's arm before withdrawing. 'You don't even remember Jolinar using it, do you?'

'No.' Sam admitted. She shifted on the chair. 'I haven't had any flashbacks for over a year.'

Janet nodded. Sam had suffered in the wake of shooting Jolinar's mate, Martouf; the memories of the symbiote spilling over and consuming Sam. Selmak had healed her, replacing the barriers between Jolinar's memories and Sam's own mind. Sam had rarely been bothered by her Jolinar memories since. 'Even if you had been able to make it work, Sam, I'm not certain the outcome would have been any different than when Selmak tried.' She tapped her mug thoughtfully. 'Maybe it's better that Daniel Ascended if the alternative was him continuing to suffer from the effects of the radiation sickness in some way.'

'I keep telling myself that.' Sam said.

Janet smiled sadly. 'How's that working out for you?'

Sam gave a short laugh. 'It's not.' She shook herself. 'He's still gone.'

'I miss him too.' Janet said.

Sam looked at her as though hesitant to share her own feelings before she nodded slowly. She took a gulp of her drink. 'How's Cassie?'

The mention of her daughter had Janet sighing loudly.

'That good, huh?' Sam said.

'She's taken this so badly.' Janet frowned. 'She's acting out; staying out beyond her curfew, talking back to me.' She shook her head. 'This last weekend, she came home drunk.'

'Drunk?' Sam's blue eyes widened.

'Drunk.' Janet repeated. Her free hand clenched into a fist on her thigh. 'Thank God for Dominic. He brought her home.' Cassie's boyfriend had given her a stumbling explanation of a party and how he'd only realised Cassie had been drinking something other than Coke when her behaviour had gotten a little wild. 'I spent most of the early hours of Saturday morning watching her throw-up.'

'It's normal for teenagers to experiment with alcohol.' Sam murmured. 'I remember after my Mom died drinking my Dad's favourite bourbon.' She pulled a face. 'I got so sick it put me off for a long while.'

'I know and I'm trying hard not to overreact but…'

'But you're her Mom. You're allowed to overreact. You should have seen my Dad with me.' Sam tried a smile. 'You want me to talk with her when I play chess with her next?'

Janet nodded quickly. 'Please.'

'OK.' Sam promised. She put the mug down and stood up, stretching. 'I'd better get back to the lab.'

Janet waited until she left before she turned back to her computer to start writing up her report on Doctor Kerry.

She paused and reached instead for the photo of Cassie on her desk. She ran a finger over the glass, over Cassie's young features. They'd been doing so well, Janet thought tiredly. But Cassie had been through a lot; Niirti, the evacuation to the Alpha site when Earth had been in danger of being destroyed, Daniel's death…it was a lot for a young girl to deal with.

It was a lot for anyone to deal with. Janet replaced the photo. She was struggling herself. She missed Daniel too; missed his friendship and advice. Her lips twisted. He would have known what to say to Cassie, how to help her heal. Janet rubbed her nose. She had to hope Sam would get through to her. She ignored the jealousy that flickered through her at the thought. It didn't matter if Cassie listened to Sam and not to her, Janet told herself briskly; all that mattered was that her daughter had someone who would help her through her pain. Janet reached for her keyboard and pushed away the abstract thought of who would help her through her own.

o-O-o

'_Go home.'_

Jonas frowned at the slip of paper that had been placed in his locker while he had showered. He darted an anxious look around the empty locker room. It wasn't the first note he'd received in the month he'd been assigned to the SGC. There was a small pile of them in a drawer in Daniel Jackson's office where he had spent most of his time. They all said the same thing more or less; they wanted him to leave. The notepaper was SGC standard issue; the ink a black biro; the writing always in block capitals, non-descript and unidentifiable.

He pressed his lips together as he stared at the note. He wasn't naïve enough to ignore the underlying threat behind the words. There was a definite 'or else' missing at the end of the sentence. It wasn't the first time in his life he had bullied. He'd been a thin, scrappy child with more brains than brawn. His smarts had made him an obvious target. Usually he'd found a way to charm the bullies somehow but then he'd always known who they were. He was at a loss to identify the culprits behind the notes mainly because there were so many candidates.

He had known his remaining on Earth wouldn't be welcomed but he had hoped with time that people would be more open to him being around. With the exception of a few, most of the personnel on the base continued to give him a wide berth. Jonas was a gregarious soul and while he may only have had a few people he could name as friends to leave behind on Kelowna, there had been colleagues and associates to socialise with. He had never realised how much he enjoyed that human contact until it was gone. Jonas sighed. He had made his decision the moment he had stepped through the wormhole and left Kelowna. And even if he could return home, he wasn't certain he would. In any case, he couldn't go back – something his mysterious stalker seemed oblivious to, or perhaps, simply uncaring.

Perhaps he should inform someone, Jonas considered seriously. No. The denial was automatic and a shade panicked. He had just completed his probationary period. If he brought the notes to the attention of General Hammond, the SGC commander, could change his mind and exile Jonas to one of Earth's allies. No, thought Jonas seriously, he couldn't risk his place. He would handle it. Eventually the perpetrators would tire of their game or he would find out who they were and discuss it reasonably with them.

At least he was putting on some muscle which would alleviate the idea he was physically weak, he mused. He had asked Teal'c to help him prepare for the possibility of one day joining a SG team, and the Jaffa had been only too happy to assist. The physical workouts were painful but they worked. He could see there was already some definition to his arms, legs and torso.

Jonas refolded the paper neatly and slipped it under a can of shaving foam to keep it safe while he dressed. He towelled dry and pulled on a pair of briefs before dragging on green BDU pants. He transferred the note to a pocket and reached for a second towel to dry his hair. The new short style still caught him off guard occasionally but it made him feel less of an outsider.

The locker room door burst open and Jonas jumped. He watched wide-eyed as Colonel O'Neill stormed through followed by Teal'c.

The Colonel barely glanced at him, snatching his ever present olive cap from his head and running a hand through his grey strands. 'Do you believe that woman?'

'I do not.' Teal'c growled unhappily. The Jaffa caught Jonas's gaze and inclined his head.

His move had the Colonel looking towards Jonas and nodding cautiously. 'Jonas.'

'Colonel.' Jonas wondered what their female team-mate had done to warrant the outburst.

The locker room door was flung open for a second time and a pretty brunette stormed in, followed by a harried looking Sam.

Jonas hurriedly held up a towel in front of his naked chest.

'Doctor Hayworth, this is the men's locker room.' Sam protested.

'Colonel, I need to speak to you.' Hayworth marched up to the military man and pointed a finger at him.

Jonas wondered at her bravery.

'Oh for crying out loud!' Jack snapped with annoyance.

'You can't simply yell at me that I'm no longer on SG1 and then walk off without an explanation.' Hayworth argued. She crossed her arms; her green eyes flashing angrily.

'Yes, I can.' Jack argued as he continued undressing as though to prove that she was completely meaningless to him. 'That's the way the military works, Doctor.'

'I'm not military.' Hayworth rejoined.

'That is painfully obvious and I would think so is the reason you're off the team. You endangered all our lives back there.' Jack shot back.

Hayworth stabbed a finger at him and whirled away. 'I'll take this up with General Hammond.'

'You do that!' Jack yelled after her.

'Sorry, sir.' Sam apologised, blowing a breath through her teeth. 'She got away from me.'

'Not your fault, Carter.' Jack waved his t-shirt at her. 'We'll see you at the debriefing.'

'Sir.' Sam turned and suddenly caught sight of Jonas who gave a weak smile.

'Hi.' He said. He could feel his skin turning a furious shade of red.

Sam's lips twitched although he didn't know whether it was because of his state of undress or at his evident embarrassment. 'Jonas.' She closed the door on her way out.

The Colonel headed immediately to the showers and Jonas was left with Teal'c.

'Sounds like it was an eventful mission.' Jonas remarked as he lowered the towel and reached for a fresh black t-shirt.

'Doctor Hayworth and Colonel O'Neill had a disagreement over how to proceed.' Teal'c explained, satisfying Jonas's curiosity. 'Doctor Hayworth ignored O'Neill's order and was captured by the natives.' He glowered. 'She was also ungrateful at being rescued despite the risk we incurred.'

'Ah.' Jonas pulled a face. 'I guess finding someone to join your team isn't easy.'

'It is not.' Teal'c agreed dryly as he started to undress. 'What of you, Jonas Quinn? Did you not expect to hear today in regards to your probation?'

'I passed.' Jonas told him with a wide smile. He shut his locker. 'I want to thank you for everything, Teal'c.'

The Jaffa nodded.

Jonas waved goodbye to him and walked out, heading for the office. He had managed to make his way through many of Daniel's journals but he still had more to read. They were fascinating. Each was like an incredible story of adventure and camaraderie. The journals increased his desire to join a SG team. He couldn't help but think that maybe if he did then he'd find the same feeling of friendship, of rapport that Daniel spoke about in his journals whenever he commented about his team-mates.

The office was quiet. Jonas hadn't disturbed any of Daniel's belongings and he was aware some of the more personal items had been removed before he had taken residence. He breathed in the scent of old books and let the muscles in his shoulders relax. He opened the desk drawer and gently placed the note on top of the others. He stared at the stack of paper for a while before he shut the drawer. He wouldn't let it bother him, Jonas thought determinedly.

He grabbed a handful of grapes from a fruit bowl, picked up the next journal he had laid out ready and began to read. Within minutes, his mind was embroiled with the story of Seth, and the threatening notes were forgotten.

o-O-o

Sam gazed at the teenager sprawled across the floor on the other side of the chess board. They had settled in Cassie's room after Janet had left them alone, taking their usual places on the floor with Cassie's dog lying on the bed watching them with bemusement. Sam worried her lip with her front teeth as a fresh wave of guilt washed over her. Between missions and emergencies, it had been three weeks since she had promised Janet that she would talk with Cassie. According to the doctor, Cassie's behaviour had continued to deteriorate. There had been another drunken incident following a movie night with friends, and Janet suspected Cassie was hitting her liquor cabinet.

The problem was that Cassie wasn't exactly sending out welcoming vibes. When Sam had turned up, Cassie had acquiesced to the chess match with a teenager's brisk rudeness that had Sam reconsidering whether Cassie would pay anymore attention to her than Janet. But Sam had promised Janet so she would try. Unfortunately, she had no idea how to start.

Cassie moved her knight.

Sam didn't just want to mention Daniel or drinking alcohol out of the blue. She picked up the juice and took a long gulp. Why had she thought she would be any good at this, Sam wondered. Why had Janet thought Sam would be any good at it?

'So how come you're on Earth?' Cassie asked suddenly, breaking into Sam's thoughts. 'Mom said yesterday you'd gone on a mission and weren't due back.'

Sam countered with a pawn. 'Captain Jenkins fell sick and we had to come home early.'

It hadn't really been Alan Jenkins' fault, Sam thought with some amusement. The local food had been a bizarre array of insects, all served with an alcoholic brew that smelled like stale urine. She pulled a face. She figured Jenkins had wanted to prove to the Colonel that he had balls by eating and drinking everything. Unfortunately, all Jenkins had proved to their CO was a serious lack of judgement especially since he had emptied the contents of his meal on the Colonel's boots. The memory brought a smile to her face.

'What?' Cassie demanded as she spotted the merriment on Sam's face.

'I was just remembering how Jenkins threw up on the Colonel.' Sam said. She paused as it occurred to her the story could be a good opener.

'He really threw up on Jack?' Cassie asked.

'He really did.' Sam nodded. It had gained the Captain a one-way ticket off SG1. 'We were visiting P7Y542. The natives there are friendly but they don't have a great deal. The meal was,' she gave a wicked smirk, 'interesting.' She waggled her eyebrows.

'Oh.' Cassie smiled. 'You mean _interesting_.'

'Insects mainly.' Sam continued cheerfully.

'Yuk.' As she expected Cassie pulled a face.

'And then there was the drink.' Sam motioned with her glass. 'Some kind of potent home brew. It was green and smelled awful.'

'Green.' Cassie frowned.

'Jenkins had everything.' Sam shook her head. 'He didn't know when to stop.' And maybe she didn't either, Sam thought as Cassie shot her a look. Uh-oh. Busted.

Cassie sat up. 'Mom told you, didn't she?'

Sam decided denying it would only lead to more trouble. 'She mentioned you got drunk at a party a while back.'

'Geez.' Cassie rolled her eyes. 'It was once.'

'Once?' Sam couldn't help the question that sprang to her lips.

'OK. Twice, maybe.' Cassie admitted. She glared at the chess board. 'I don't know what the big deal is.'

Sam raised an eyebrow, trying for an impression of Teal'c.

'It didn't mean anything.' Cassie folded her arms over her chest and scowled at Sam. 'You can't tell me you never got drunk when you were my age.'

'You're right.' Sam admitted. 'I did get drunk. I helped myself to my Dad's bourbon.' She watched as a flicker of guilt drifted across Cassie's face. It looked like Janet had been right about Cassie helping herself to the spirits in the house. She kept her eyes on Cassie. 'It was just after my Mom died.'

Cassie stiffened. 'This has nothing to do with Daniel.'

Sam remained silent.

'It doesn't.' Cassie insisted. Her young face filled with anger. 'Not everything is about _him_.' She lurched to her feet and stormed out. The dog followed her.

'Well,' Sam murmured to the empty room, 'that went well.' She pushed herself off the floor. She headed out after Cassie. She'd heard the thump of feet on the stairs and knew they'd gone down. She made her way to the lower floor and listened for signs to where Cassie had gone. She hadn't heard the front door so…she made her way through to the kitchen. The French windows leading out to the garden were open and Sam made her way to them hesitantly.

Cassie was out in the garden. She had walked to the end and sat on the bench beneath an old tree. She was hunched over and looked miserable. The dog sat beside her as though trying to comfort her.

Sam made her way over to her slowly. She sat down and wished for a moment that she'd stopped to throw her jacket on over her jeans and sweater. 'You're right.' She murmured gently. 'Not everything is about Daniel.' She looked away, back toward the house, trying hard to keep her own emotions under control, before she gathered her courage again and turned back to Cassie. 'You want to tell me why you're drinking?'

'Why?' Cassie snapped. 'It's none of your business.'

'You're hurting, Cassie.' Sam contradicted her firmly. 'That is my business.'

Cassie squirmed on the bench. Her arms were tightly folded around her thin body and her face was turned mutinously away from Sam.

'Is it school?' Sam asked. 'Or Dominic?'

'No!' Cassie shook her head. 'Dominic's been great especially since…' she suddenly looked at Sam. 'Why did he go away?'

Sam sighed, knowing Cassie meant Daniel. 'I don't know.'

'Didn't he want to be with us anymore?' Cassie asked bluntly.

'Oh, Cass.' Sam couldn't stop herself from reaching out and pulling her into a hug. She was grateful when Cassie responded. Sam wrapped her arms around her and held on tightly as they both cried.

'I keep thinking he must have hated us if he wanted to leave so badly,' Cassie sobbed, 'he must have hated me.'

'He didn't hate us.' Sam pulled back long enough to look Cassie in the eye. 'He definitely didn't hate you.'

Cassie nodded slowly. 'Then why did he leave?'

Sam wiped furiously at her own damp eyes for a second. The question was one she had struggled with herself since Daniel's death just as she had also struggled to come to terms with knowing Daniel hadn't confided the unhappiness he had apparently felt before his Ascension to her. 'I think it was just something he had to do, Cassie.'

'I don't understand.' Cassie sighed.

Sam stroked Cassie's hair back over her shoulder. 'You remember when we were in the bunker and I stayed with you?'

'Of course.' Cassie nodded.

'I stayed because I just knew I had to stay.' Sam said. 'And I think that's how this is for Daniel with Ascension. I think he just had to leave.'

'I felt that when I was changing with that illness.' Cassie remarked. 'But I was wrong.'

'And maybe Daniel will be wrong about this.' Sam concurred. 'But maybe it's something he has to try.'

Cassie sighed and snuggled into her. 'I miss him.'

'Me too.' Sam kissed the top of her head.

'You think he misses us too?' Cassie asked.

'I do.' Sam said, and as she spoke the words she knew it was the truth. Daniel loved them and he had lost them all with his decision. Perhaps Ascension was something Daniel had needed to do but it had cost him a great deal. They had lost him but at least they still had each other. She hadn't forgiven Daniel for Ascending; was still mad at him in truth but she could feel the edge of her anger draining away with her realisation. She hugged Cassie again.

'I'm sorry.' Cassie said. 'About the drinking. I just…it made me forget and I felt happy.' She grimaced. 'Except for the, you know, throwing up part.'

'Alcohol does that.' Sam agreed. 'It can help make you feel happy and sometimes it makes you feel sad. Too much and all it does is make you feel sick.'

'I won't do it again.' Cassie promised.

'You will.' Sam laughed briefly. 'But maybe wait until you're legal next time?'

Cassie nodded. 'Deal.' She sighed heavily. 'I guess I need to apologise to Mom too.'

'Oh yes.' Sam agreed fervently. 'That you do.'

'Can we go down to the store?' Cassie asked. 'Maybe I can buy her some flowers.'

'I think she would love that.' Sam got to her feet. 'Go and wash your face, and I'll drive you.'

Cassie took a step away before she abruptly spun around and embraced Sam tightly for a moment before spinning away again, rushing across the lawn and into the house.

Sam blinked back fresh tears and started across the grass. She needed to wash up too, she realised. God, she missed Daniel. She scowled at the thought. Daniel was gone but Cassie needed her. That was what she had to focus on; her grief would wait.

o-O-o

Daniel watched from the tower as SG1 approached the Abydonian encampment. He knew they had returned for a celebration of his life at Kasuf's request. It was good to see them again, Daniel mused. He had tried to stay away from his former team-mates after their last visit to Abydos. He missed them too much. Every time he laid eyes on them, he questioned what he had done and thought about going home.

'They come to honour your life.' Shifu commented. He looked at Daniel. 'It saddens you.'

'I'm not sure my life deserves to be honoured.' Daniel muttered sharply.

'You are a good man. Do you not believe you deserve their regard?' Shifu asked.

'I've hurt them.' Daniel said simply. He could feel their pain again. It was more of a deep ache than the sharp bite it had been before but it was there, lurking in each of them. He shifted restlessly.

The past month had been good. He and Shifu had explored Abydos. He'd shown Sha're's son the ruins where Sha're had taught him Abydonian and he had taught her how to read the writing that covered the walls. He'd taken Shifu to the caves where Skaara and Sha're had hidden him, Jack and the others. He'd told Shifu of how they had liberated Abydos from Ra; how he and Jack had fallen into friendship, how he and Sha're had fallen into love. He had spent time with Shifu in the room covered with Stargate symbols and had known for the first time just how few were documented there.

The time with Shifu had given Daniel a staggering measure of peace about his time on Abydos. He had rediscovered his love for the planet, remembered his marriage with a heart filled with love rather sorrow. Somewhere in amongst the sharing, he had also started to regain his balance about what had happened to Sha're.

He would always blame himself for unburying the Stargate but perhaps he had forgiven himself for what had come after. He knew that Apophis would have brought a ship regardless of the gate; perhaps not that day, perhaps another. But Apophis would have come. Maybe if events had gone differently, Sha're would not have become the host to Ammonet but Daniel couldn't shake the sense that events would have gone much the same.

Daniel's lips twisted. Jack had told him once that he would begin to trust himself again, and Daniel was surprised to find that it had happened without him noticing. Maybe it was because he had rediscovered himself again in the sands of Abydos. He'd just had to die and Ascend to make it happen. He swallowed his laughter.

Suddenly, he wanted – needed – to see his team. He let himself shift from the tower; he centred in on Jack, and found himself in Kasuf's tent. He stayed hidden but drank in the sight of them.

Sam looked pale but her hand was steady on the juice she drank down gratefully. Her blue eyes were watching Jack. She was worried about him, Daniel realised. He caught glimpses of her thoughts; how hard the ceremony was going to be for Jack, how he'd only agreed because Skaara had asked, how much Jack missed Daniel.

Jack's own thoughts gave truth to Sam's worries. He hadn't wanted to attend but hadn't been able to say no to Skaara, how he wanted to be anywhere but Abydos and the memories of Daniel.

Teal'c sat by Jack's side. Guarding him, Daniel realised. The Jaffa was uncomfortable in the tent, all too aware that it had been he who had taken Sha're's life, who had stolen Sha're and Skaara away to become hosts.

Daniel let his eyes drift to the fourth member of the team; his replacement. He wondered briefly what had happened to Doctor Kerry who had been his named successor. In hindsight, he wasn't certain Ambrose would have been his choice. The man in front of him was military, Major Robert according to the name stencilled neatly over his pocket. He remembered him vaguely. He had only just transferred when Daniel had Ascended. There was an arrogance about him that stirred Daniel's guts especially when he saw how Robert's eyes followed a young Abydonian woman as she left the tent.

He wasn't the only one who noticed, Daniel surmised as he caught Sam's unhappy expression and the way she exchanged a look with Teal'c. It appeared Robert's card had been marked. Daniel knew the glee wasn't mature but he revelled in it anyway.

'You do not like him.' Shifu commented, folding his robes neatly around him as he sank to the floor.

Daniel followed his example. 'No. I don't.'

'Because he takes your place?' Shifu inquired.

'Because I think he's losing the fight with the evil in his subconscious.' Daniel said with a smile, tucking his own robes around him.

Shifu smiled happily. 'I see.'

Daniel reached out and patted his shoulder. He turned back to the quiet gathering where stories of Daniel's exploits were being told. He winced as Jack began to regale them with Daniel's first encounter with the Abydonian wildlife. 'Maybe we should leave.'

'I am staying.' Shifu grinned at him. 'I want to hear their stories.'

They sat for a long while listening. Occasionally, Daniel would murmur a correction in Shifu's ear or laughingly protest when a story made gentle fun of him. A few hours passed and Daniel was stunned anew at how much his team-mates truly cared for him.

Robert suddenly got to his feet and excused himself. Daniel frowned as he watched the man leave. Galia, the young grand-daughter of one of Kasuf's many sisters, had just departed the tent to gather more food. She was young and beautiful with dark hair that fell to her waist and dark, shy eyes.

Daniel let Shifu know he was going to leave for a moment and followed the Major. He watched as Robert followed Galia. He felt his anger begin to stir as Robert's intent to get Galia alone became obvious.

As she entered a store for flatbread, Robert's opportunity opened up and he took it. He quickly followed her inside and shut the door; barred it. Daniel no longer needed to worry about doors and he followed.

'You're a pretty little thing, aren't you?' Robert's lips curved in a cruel smile. 'Maybe the old guy will give you to me like he gave his daughter to Daniel. What do you think?'

Galia took a step back and shook her head, not understanding the words but understanding all too well the threat of him.

He grabbed her and Daniel felt the power crackle through him.

'You cannot interfere.'

Oma's sudden presence startled Daniel.

He stared at her before turning back to the horrific tableau that remained frozen in time in front of them. 'You can't be serious.'

'You know the rules, Daniel.' Oma retorted. 'This is not your concern.'

'She's helpless and he's going to hurt her.' Daniel argued. 'We can't just sit back and do nothing.'

Oma regarded him sombrely. 'Daniel, you cannot interfere with the lower planes.'

'I can't just watch him rape her.' Daniel said passionately.

'And what would you do?' Oma challenged him just as passionately. 'Would you strike him down?'

'Yes!' Daniel said.

'You would kill him.' Oma pointed out. 'Is that a just punishment for something he only might do?'

Daniel felt the impact of the question. Was death a just sentence for an intent to do harm? He'd never been an advocate of the death penalty. He'd always believed that the majority of criminals could be rehabilitated. Yet he had been prepared to kill Robert who had not yet actually committed a crime. He had been about to act as judge, jury and executioner. He paled.

'There is another way.' Oma placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder and took him outside the store.

Teal'c stood there. He must have followed Robert, Daniel considered with relief.

'Watch.' Oma said as time engaged again.

Teal'c's head snapped to the store at the sound of a cry. He made for the door and listened intently for only a second before he shifted and rammed his full weight against the wood. It gave way with a resounding crack.

The Jaffa took one look at Galia, lying on the floor, with her robe torn before he turned a furious glower on Robert.

'Hey!' Robert held up a hand. 'I was just being friendly and she…'

Teal'c didn't listen; he simply moved. His arm snapped out and his hand took hold of Robert's throat.

Galia ran out. Her cries brought other Abydonians running to the store and finally, the rest of SG1.

'What the hell is going on?' Jack demanded.

Skaara placed an arm around his distant cousin and listened as she babbled an explanation in Abydonian. 'Galia says the one Teal'c holds tried to attack her; Teal'c saved her.'

Kasuf gestured angrily. 'He must be punished.'

'Oh, he will be punished.' Jack's voice was dangerously quiet. 'Kasuf, I'd like to apologise from bringing this vermin here, but I'm afraid that I have to request that you leave his punishment to us.'

Kasuf looked from Jack to Teal'c and back. Whatever he saw in the depths of Jack's eyes convinced him. 'You will punish him.' He dispersed the rest of the crowd, quickly. A woman gathered Galia up and hurried her away but Skaara remained.

'Teal'c.' Jack said softly. 'Let him go.'

Teal'c released Robert who dropped to his knees and clutched at his throat.

'What will you do with him, O'Neill?' Skaara asked.

'What I'd like to do is beat him senseless.' Jack shoved a hand through his damp hair and sighed heavily. 'What I'm going to do is take him back to Earth and put him in a cage.' He waved at Sam. 'Carter, have you got some restraints?'

'Yes, sir.' Sam pulled them out of her ever present bag and quickly tied Robert's hands behind his back.

'Get him on his feet.' Jack ordered.

Teal'c placed a hand under Robert's arm and pulled him up.

'You can't seriously believe the natives instead of one of your own people.' Robert finally spoke. 'She attacked me. I'm innocent.'

'Right.' Jack said derisively. 'Because following young girls into dark storerooms and grabbing them shouts innocence like nothing else.'

Robert sneered at him. 'You can't tell me you haven't taken advantage of some of the local talent when you've been off world.'

Jack's eyes went black and deadly. Robert's wisely snapped his mouth shut. Jack turned back to Skaara. 'We have to take him back and deal with this. Tell your father that we're sorry we can't stay for the rest of the ceremony.'

Skaara sighed. 'You will be missed, O'Neill.'

Jack nodded. He hugged the young Abydonian man fiercely. 'Take care.'

Daniel watched as SG1 led Robert away from the encampment and back to the Stargate. He turned back to Oma. 'I'm sorry.'

'It is all too easy to interfere especially when you see an injustice.' Oma said softening with his evident contriteness. 'But if you use your powers as though you were a God, judge those below as though you were a God, even if you intent is good, eventually you become…'

'No better than the Goa'uld.' Daniel completed. 'I understand.'

Oma nodded and smiled. 'Then you are ready for the next stage of your lessons.' She held out a hand to him and he took it with trepidation. He only hoped he was as ready as she believed him to be.

Continued in Part III.


	23. Healing Trilogy: Part III

**The Healing Trilogy**

**Part 3: Start All Over Again**

The knock on the door wasn't a welcome interruption. Jack wondered briefly if he could ignore it before it sounded again. He sent one despairing look toward the television where the screen flickered with the game playing and got to his feet, muting the sound and throwing the remote on the sofa.

The third knock landed on the door just before Jack yanked it open, fully prepared to yell at whoever was on the other side. The words froze in his throat at the sight of Catherine Langford.

The former leader of the Stargate programme smiled back at him. She was dressed smartly in a thick black wool jacket, black pants and sturdy shoes. A scarf was wound tightly around her neck and her hands encased in gloves. Jack noticed absently a black limo complete with driver parked in his drive.

'Aren't you going to invite me in?' Catherine asked tartly as he continued to gape at her.

'Sorry.' Jack opened the door wider and ushered her inside to the warmth reluctantly. He liked Catherine enormously but he knew her visit probably had something to do with Daniel and he didn't want to talk about him, about it. But he politely helped divest her of her outdoors clothing anyway, flinching inwardly when he caught sight of the Eye of Ra pendant hanging around her neck, startling bright against the black sweater she wore. He accepted her hug and gestured towards the living area.

He hurried in and swept up the remnants of take-away from the previous night; the clutter of a plate and mug from his lunch. 'I, uh, wasn't expecting company.'

'Don't bother on my account.' Catherine said graciously, as she sat on an easy chair.

With his arms full of debris, Jack didn't know how best to respond but he smiled weakly. 'Drink?'

'Scotch, if you have it.'

He was momentarily taken aback given he had already begun mentally dredging his memory for where he had stored some tea. 'Scotch. Right.' He moved into the kitchen and dumped the remains before he headed back to the den and poured Catherine a scotch.

'You're not joining me?' Catherine asked.

Jack sat on the sofa and picked up his half-empty bottle of beer, showing it to her briefly.

She gestured at the game that continued to play on the screen. 'Who's winning?'

'I don't think you came to ask me about sport.' Jack said bluntly, taking a gulp of his drink.

Catherine lifted the heavy crystal tumbler. 'You're right.' Her bright eyes dimmed as she looked away from him. 'I'm sorry I missed the farewell party for Daniel.' She shook her head. 'It's just with Ernest being gone and then the news about Daniel…it was too soon.'

He softened imperceptibly. Catherine had lost the love of her life, Ernest Littlefield, only a few months before Daniel's death. 'He would have understood.'

'Yes.' Catherine smiled sadly. 'Daniel is one of the most compassionate men I know.'

Jack registered the tense she used with a grimace. 'So you think he's still around?'

'I hope so.' Catherine took a sip of her drink and wrapped both hands around the glass as she rested it on her lap. 'I prefer to think that maybe he's simply away on a long journey than he's dead, don't you?'

Jack nodded slowly.

'Of course the reality is that either way Daniel's gone.' Catherine continued.

He stared at his bottle. 'Yeah.'

'Is it strange that I wasn't surprised?' Catherine asked. She got up and walked across to his mantelpiece where she picked up an old photo of SG1. 'You know I envied you and Daniel that first time, walking through the Stargate into the unknown.'

Jack remained silent. The trip had been a suicide mission for him not an act of courage but of cowardice.

'When Daniel told me about SG1, I was even more envious.' Catherine admitted. 'All the adventures that you would have together; all the wonders that you would see.' She took another sip of her drink. 'Of course, the problem is that it's not all exploration.'

'No.' Jack agreed.

Catherine smiled down at the picture of a young, idealistic Daniel. 'And when Daniel realised that after Sha're's death, it was hard for him to feel that he belonged in the programme.'

'He told you that?' Jack asked surprised.

'No.' Catherine shook her head. 'I just know him.' She moved back to her seat, keeping hold of the picture. 'Exploration drives Daniel; just as it did Ernest. They were so alike. I knew Daniel would never turn down the opportunity to explore such a unique culture as these Ascended beings. He was fascinated by them.' She smiled. 'He told me that.'

'Well, let's hope Daniel's not stranded on some rock somewhere.' Jack quipped.

Catherine shot him a look, equal parts admonishment and amusement. 'And, of course, you let him go to protect him.'

A dull flush filled his cheeks. Was he so apparent? He shifted uncomfortable under her intent gaze. 'It was what he wanted.'

Catherine simply continued to look at him.

Jack sighed heavily. Catherine had a way of making him feel like he was ten years old and being interrogated by his grandmother. He believed the two women would have been firm friends if his grandmother had still been alive. 'OK, so maybe I think this way, he's safer out of it.'

'You're a good friend to him.' Catherine said, placing the photo on the table and took another gulp of her drink.

He shrugged away the praise; he didn't deserve it. He was only too aware of the pain his decision to help Daniel make his escape had caused on the rest of the team.

'How are Teal'c and Samantha?' Catherine asked as though she had read his mind.

'Teal'c's good.' Jack raised his bottle. 'Ascension is some big deal for the Jaffa so he misses Daniel but he thinks it's a good thing.'

'And Samantha?' Catherine prompted when Jack remained silent.

'She just misses Daniel.' Jack said simply. He and Carter had been doing better since their blow-up after the mission to help the Asgard and he was thankful that the tension between them was gone, but he was aware that she continued to grieve. He rubbed a thumb over the bottle label.

'They were good friends.' Catherine said. 'And even understanding all the reasons why he left, it's hard to understand truly why someone you love chooses to leave you.' She made a face. 'You can't help but question your value to them. If I was more attractive or intelligent, a better lover or, in Samantha's case, a better friend, would he have stayed? Because ultimately, it feels as though when the choice was you or the something else whatever it is; they chose something else. So you couldn't have been that important to them.'

Jack frowned. He hadn't considered that angle. It had never occurred to him that Carter would be questioning her own worth in regards to Daniel's decision; it should have though. She tended to big on blaming herself.

Catherine smiled at him. 'Samantha has a way of worrying a problem.'

He was certain Carter had analysed to death. He sighed. 'Damn.'

Catherine drank a healthy measure of her scotch. 'You're keeping SG1 together?'

His head snapped to her at the question. 'Yes.'

'You and General Hammond didn't consider disbanding?' Catherine asked gently. She gestured at him. 'Some would have expected it; a chance to refresh the team, for you all to move on.'

Jack drained his bottle and set it down. 'Hammond and I discussed it.' He admitted. It had been brief and to the point. Hammond had seen two options; either add another member or disband. Jack had given the disbanding a moment's serious consideration but he figured there had been too many losses that year without adding SG1 to the mix. Fundamentally, he figured they needed the constancy of the team even without Daniel.

'Have you found someone to replace Daniel?' Catherine asked.

Jack looked at her. 'You want the position?'

He surprised her into a genuine laugh. 'I only wish I was many years younger because I would take you up on that.'

'Believe me, you'd be a hell of a lot better than the last guy.' Jack said, thinking back to the last mission. SG1's newest recruit had been a Lieutenant George Addison.

Catherine's face filled with lively curiosity. 'What happened?'

'We were in the middle of a situation with some Jaffa; in between managing to miss every bad guy, he managed to shoot Teal'c.' The words were coated with disgust.

Her lips twitched. 'Is Teal'c...?'

'He's fine.' Jack hastened to assure her. 'Flesh wound. Junior took care of it.' He shook his head. 'I can't have someone in the team I can't rely on to back us up in a fight.'

'Daniel is a hard act to follow.' Catherine soothed, finishing her drink.

It was the truth but Jack was determined to ignore it. 'I just want someone who'll stand up.' Jack mused out loud. 'It's not my fault if no-one's managed to do that yet.' He sounded too defensive, he realised a heartbeat later; probably because he'd spent the better part of an hour making that same argument to his CO.

Catherine placed her glass on the table by the picture. 'You've just lost a friend; it's understandable that you're not ready to find someone to take his place even just on a professional level.'

'I'm not sure General Hammond's going to be patient for too much longer.' Jack said dryly.

'I think you'll find he'll be as patient for as long as you need him to be.' Catherine corrected. She stood up. 'I should get going if I'm going to make my flight.'

'Thanks for coming.' Jack was surprised to find he meant it. He helped her back into her jacket, scarf and gloves. He hugged her goodbye and wondered at the childish urge to ask her to stay for longer; to comfort him.

'Stay in touch.' Catherine said in his ear, patting his back.

He eased away from her. 'I will.' He promised as he opened the door for her. 'And if you change your mind about joining SG1…'

Catherine was smiling as she waved him farewell. He watched her limo drive away and slowly closed the door. Jack wandered back down to the living room. He frowned at the muted television and picked up the remote to switch it off completely.

The picture Catherine had picked up beckoned to him and he lifted it to take another look. It was SG1 just after they had formed. Daniel's youthful shy smile beamed out at him. Jack replaced the photo on the mantelpiece. His gaze landed on the chess set he'd set aside after Daniel's Ascension. He hadn't played since. He took it over to the coffee table and set it up before heading into the kitchen eschewing the beer for coffee. He sat back down and began to play.

o-O-o

'Is it true he fainted right on the ramp?' Jonas picked up the banana and looked at it again with relish. He'd just discovered them and had decided they were the best thing ever.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow as he regarded the Kelownan across the commissary table. 'Captain Matheson has a fear of travelling through the wormhole.'

'The idea could be daunting.' Nyan agreed. He scooped up more of the mashed potatoes he had drowned in gravy. 'I am not certain that I would have attempted it that first time if it had not been for the shooting.' His departure from Bedrosia had been abrupt given he had been helping SG1 escape at the time.

'I find it fascinating.' Jonas commented, gesturing with the banana. 'Your body gets disintegrated as you step into the event horizon and reintegrated as you step out. But for the moment you're in the wormhole, you don't exist.'

'That is truly a disturbing thought.' Teal'c murmured.

'And no doubt why the Captain panicked and fainted.' Nyan mopped up the last of the gravy with some bread and sat back satisfied. He looked over at Jonas with bright curiosity. 'You really want to join an off world team?'

'Sure.' Jonas had been training hard with Teal'c every chance he got. He'd also managed to gather as much information as he could about the nature of wormhole travel and the various aliens that Earth had encountered. He was especially fascinated by the Goa'uld. The more he learned, the better prepared he would be to help his planet, Jonas thought. He swallowed a lump of banana and looked over at Nyan. 'You've never thought of doing it yourself?'

'No.' Nyan shook his head. 'I have no wish to go off world. I went on a dig in Egypt last Summer that Daniel organised for me. That was adventure enough.'

'You miss being part of a dig?' Jonas inquired. Nyan was very much a new friend and Jonas was enjoying getting to know him better. Given Nyan's friendship with Daniel, Jonas was touched that the Bedrosian had gone out of his way to be friends with him. And it helped with the loneliness he felt a lot of the time.

'At times.' Nyan nodded. 'I spent most of my adult life on Bedrosia on digs. I enjoy the dirt and the discovery of every small clue.' He smiled apologetically. 'Which reminds me that I must get back to work. Doctor Kerry is waiting on my analysis of the fossils found on P6R398.'

Teal'c and Jonas murmured their farewells as Nyan departed.

'So how many have tried out for SG1 now?' Jonas asked, turning back to Teal'c. 'Five?'

'Six.' Teal'c confirmed. His impassive face briefly reflected regret and sadness before smoothing. 'It is most difficult.'

Jonas nodded, unsure whether to say anything else. It was evident to Jonas and the rest of the SGC that SG1 still grieved for the loss of their former team-mate and that made finding someone to take Daniel's place much harder. It was his fault that they needed to replace Daniel, he reminded himself. He couldn't deny though that with every failure, the small secret hope that he could join SG1 flickered a little brighter. It had been born as he had read of their adventures through Daniel's journals. Jonas hungered to join the team that Daniel described.

It was a foolish hope, Jonas reminded himself. Even if Teal'c accepted his presence at the SGC, neither the Colonel nor Sam had attempted to seek him out. Not that they weren't civil if he ran into one of them in the corridors; Sam always acknowledged him, at least.

Teal'c placed his knife and fork carefully in the centre of his empty plate. Jonas had a healthy appetite but he had never seen anyone eat as much as Teal'c.

'I was thinking of hitting the gym.' Jonas said.

'Your physical condition has changed most impressively.' Teal'c commented.

'Thanks to you.' Jonas picked up a second banana. 'The programme you created for me is great.'

'You have applied yourself to it.' Teal'c returned. 'The achievement is yours, Jonas Quinn.'

Jonas shrugged, throwing the banana from one hand to another. 'You want to join me?' He asked again.

Teal'c's dark eyes flitted to the clock and back. 'I must decline. I leave for the Alpha site in thirty minutes.'

'Another time then.' Jonas was aware the Alpha site was in the midst of establishing a new initiative and housed a number of the rebel Jaffa Teal'c led. Both Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill spent time there between missions. 'I'll see you when you're back.'

Teal'c inclined his head and Jonas stepped away from the table. He stowed his dinner tray and headed for the locker room to change. He opened his locker and stared at the new slip of paper. He picked it up and read it.

_Haven't you got the message yet? You're not wanted._

The urge to cry surprised him but he blinked back the tears and took a deep breath. He was just feeling lonely and they were just notes; just words. If he cried he'd be giving the bullies exactly what they wanted. Jonas crumpled the paper in his hand. He pushed it back into the locker and continued to change.

He made his way to the gym. It was empty and he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or depressed to find himself alone. He began his exercises. He tried not to think of the balled up piece of paper and focused on his routine. He was done when a group of Airmen barrelled into the room.

Jonas looked over at them briefly. Finkleman, Gregory and Locke; part of the security detail. There was a moment to envy the camaraderie between the three men before he finished the last set of repetitions. He climbed off the weights machine and picked up his towel from the floor. He wiped his face off.

Shower, Jonas thought longingly as he began to walk across to the door. He needed a shower. Then, maybe he'd go back to Daniel's office and read through another journal before he called it a night.

A shoulder slammed into him with enough force to drive him to the ground. Jonas landed on his rump on a landing mat, and looked up startled as he tried to catch his breath.

'You should look where you're going.' Finkleman sneered, his dark eyes gloating with pride.

'Sorry.' The apology was automatic even though Jonas knew he hadn't walked into the other man. Still, he didn't want any trouble. He held up a hand in a placating gesture. Finkleman backed off. Jonas got to his feet, suddenly all too aware that the three men were ranged around him and he was alone in the gym. He took a step toward the door.

Locke hit him from the side, sending him sprawling to the mat. 'Oops. Look at that. You've done it again.'

Jonas rubbed his ribs gingerly as he righted himself for a second time. It looked as though he'd found the authors of his notes. 'Can't we talk about this, guys?' He took in their grim faces. There was an eagerness to hurt in their eyes. For a long moment, Jonas assimilated the fact that he was going to take a beating – a bad one.

Gregory took a step toward him and stopped abruptly as the gym door opened and Sam poked her head through.

'Have any of you seen Colonel O'Neill?' She asked.

They all shook their heads mutely.

She frowned suddenly as her eyes swept over their positions and a suspicious look entered her eyes. 'Everything OK here?'

'Yes, ma'am.' Locke answered with an easy smile. 'We were just sparring.'

'Isn't that right, Quinn?' Gregory prompted with a glower.

'Sparring.' He confirmed with a brisk nod.

Sam nodded slowly but her gaze searched Jonas's expression for a long moment. 'Actually, Jonas, if you have a couple of minutes, I could do with asking you some questions about the naquadria.'

'Sure.' Jonas wasn't about to turn down the escape hatch that she'd opened up for him. 'We were just about done here.' He picked up his abandoned towel and bounded for the door. Sam walked with him to the locker room, asking him various questions about the naquadria. He suspected that she already knew the answers; that they'd already spoken about it before but he babbled back to her happily.

They stopped outside the locker room door. Jonas looked at it warily; he couldn't help the darting look back down the corridor towards the gym. He'd grab a change of clothes and wash-up in his room, Jonas decided. Stay out of the way of the three men as much as he could and avoid being alone for the near future. He felt a touch on his arm and he turned with surprise to Sam. He'd forgotten that she was there.

'Is everything OK, Jonas?' Sam asked bluntly.

There was a compassionate glint in her blue eyes and Jonas got the impression that it was the first time since he had arrived at the SGC that she had looked at him and seen him, not Daniel or more disturbingly, the naquadria. He almost blurted everything out; how lonely and homesick he was, the notes and the attack. It was as though the words trembled on his lips ready to spill over. But if he confessed, Jonas mused, he risked losing his place at the SGC. He gave an overly bright smile.

'I'm fine.' He said and seeing the disbelief in her expression continued hastily. 'Really. Fine.'

'Jonas,' Sam seemed to hesitate over her words but she continued gamely, 'you know if something's wrong you can tell me,' a thought occurred to her brightening her expression, 'or Teal'c.'

'Like I said I'm fine.' Jonas insisted.

She held his gaze for a long moment and looked as though she was about to say something else when SG3 clattered into the corridor. They all absently acknowledged Sam and Jonas as they streamed into the locker room.

'I'd, uh, better get in there.' Jonas said hurriedly.

Sam waved at the door. 'Go ahead. I'll see you later.'

He didn't wait for her to leave. He entered the locker room and swiftly showered, taking advantage of SG3's presence. He was done and out before any of his tormentors appeared. He headed for his office, closed the door and carefully placed the crumpled paper on top of the others.

Jonas sat down on a stool and finally let himself crumble. He leaned back, and covered his face with his hands. What had he done in coming to Earth, Jonas thought miserably?

He missed Kelowna terribly; missed the bland food of his childhood; missed his favourite books; missed his tiny apartment and the smell of the gagaria blossoms that hung outside his windows. He rubbed his damp eyes tiredly. He had nothing on Earth. No home; no place that was truly his. The office was even Daniel's.

Enough, thought Jonas sternly as he physically shook himself as though to shake sense into his body. He had made the right decision. He had cleared Daniel's name and he had given the naquadria to people who could do more with it than simply make bombs. It had been the right thing to do. He could handle a little bullying. He picked up the book he was studying and tried to focus on the words; tried to ignore the fear that hovered within him.

o-O-o

The wormhole winked out behind them and the iris slid back over the open Stargate. Teal'c carefully placed Doctor Jenny Lerrick onto the waiting gurney and stepped back as Janet ordered the medics to get her to the infirmary.

Hammond watched with a resigned expression. He turned back to the Colonel stood at the bottom of the ramp with an amused smile. 'Do I want to know how Doctor Lerrick came to be zatted?'

'Probably not.' Jack agreed cheerfully. His brown eyes slid to Teal'c who stiffened.

'I regret to inform you that I will not work with Doctor Lerrick again, General Hammond.'

Hammond looked to the remaining member of SG1 for an explanation.

'Doctor Lerrick imbibed some of the Jaffa brew when we arrived at the Alpha site to join Teal'c, sir.' Sam said. Her own gaze drifted towards the Jaffa, and warmed with amusement. 'She seemed to have an unusual reaction.'

'She tried to seduce Teal'c.' Jack added gleefully.

Teal'c remained stoically silent.

Sam's expression was only a tad more sympathetic. 'Unfortunately, she wouldn't take no for an answer and became, uh…'

'Aggressive.' Jack jumped in as Sam hesitated. 'Teal'c zatted her in self-defence.' He patted his pocket. 'We got it all on tape.'

Hammond's lips twitched but his face otherwise maintained a serious demeanour and held out his hand. 'I should take custody of that, Colonel.'

Teal'c allowed his shoulders to relax as the SG1 leader unwillingly gave up the video evidence. He trusted General Hammond not to share it with others for amusement.

'Debriefing in an hour.' The General nodded and walked out with the tape.

SG1 handed over their weapons and walked out of the gate room together.

'It's a shame about Doctor Lerrick.' Sam sighed as she pushed the call button for the elevator. 'I thought she was a real possibility.'

'I don't know why we have to have a fourth member anyway.' Jack complained. 'We're OK just the three of us.'

Teal'c remained silent. He understood O'Neill's position. They were all finding it difficult to accept someone else into the team, especially someone who assumed their missing team-mate's place. Yet Teal'c also believed that SG1 needed a fourth for balance; someone to provide a different viewpoint.

They needed time, Teal'c mused, as they entered the elevator; time to adjust to accept Daniel Jackson's departure from their lives and time to accept that they needed to let someone else in. He entered the infirmary alongside his team-mates and took his place beside one of the beds for their post-mission check-up.

'Teal'c,' Sam shifted to lean against the other side of his bed as Janet began her examination of Jack, 'can you come by my lab after the debriefing? I need to talk to you about something.'

'I am at your disposal, Major Carter.' Teal'c said solemnly. He was pleased when she gave a quick smile. He had rarely seen her smile in the last few months. Perhaps the incident with Doctor Lerrick had been worthwhile if for no other reason than it had made her laugh. She missed Daniel Jackson terribly. He hoped he and O'Neill had become better at understanding her grief and giving her support, and wondered whether she would agree. Perhaps, Teal'c considered, they had all become better at supporting each other.

He waited patiently through the examination, checked on Doctor Lerrick – he had intended her no permanent harm – and made his way to the showers. He made it back to the briefing room for the debriefing where he suffered through O'Neill's continued amusement. He was relieved when it was over and the three of them were released, more so when O'Neill departed to write his report and Teal'c fell into step beside Major Carter as they made their way to her lab.

Sam looked at him sympathetically. 'I'm sure Doctor Lerrick will be mortified when she wakes up, Teal'c.' She grimaced. 'I know I was after the whole Neanderthal thing with the Colonel.'

'It will be awkward.' Teal'c commented.

Sam pulled a face in agreement. 'Oh yeah.' She patted his shoulder. 'At least she didn't shoot you like Addison.'

Teal'c rather thought he would have preferred to have been shot.

They entered her lab and Sam gestured for him to take a seat. She remained standing and leaned over the bench.

'I wanted to talk to you,' Sam began.

Teal'c was surprised to see nerves gleam briefly in her eyes. He inclined his head.

'About Jonas.' She rushed the words out as though she was a child taking bitter medicine.

Teal'c could not stop the slight frown that deepened the lines around his wide mouth. He had noticed that he had been the only member of SG1 to befriend the Kelownan. Perhaps his friendship with Jonas Quinn was difficult for his team-mate. But if Major Carter wished him to end his friendship he could not. Although, Teal'c told himself briskly, it would be best if he did not anticipate her remarks. He sat up straighter. 'I am listening, Major Carter.'

She bit her lip. 'A couple of days ago, just after you left for the Alpha site, I was looking for the Colonel and I stopped by the gym.' She clasped her hands together and stood back from the bench. 'Jonas was there with three of the security detail; Finkleman, Gregory and Locke.'

'They work the night shift.' Teal'c murmured, wondering where she was going with the story.

'Yes.' Sam grimaced. 'I kind of got the impression that they were ganging up on Jonas.'

Teal'c's eyebrow shot up.

She waved her hand hurriedly at him. 'They said they were sparring and Jonas confirmed it so I don't have any proof that they were causing trouble, but,' she sighed, 'it just seemed…off.'

'I see.' Teal'c glowered.

'I asked Jonas for some information on the naquadria to get him out of the gym,' Sam continued, more confident with the worst of her news delivered, 'but he wouldn't talk to me when I asked him if something was wrong.' She reddened. 'Not surprising, I know. I mean, I haven't exactly welcomed him.'

Teal'c softened as grief entered her eyes again. 'It is understandable that you wish to keep your distance. He reminds you of what you have lost.'

Sam shrugged. 'This isn't about me.' She said, dismissing her own feelings. 'It's just…whatever the circumstances that brought him here, he doesn't deserve to be bullied.'

It was so like her, Teal'c mused. She had always had a soft, compassionate heart that hated any injustice especially one inflicted on someone who she believed needed defending. He remembered that she had often defended his presence at the SGC during the early days of the Stargate programme. 'Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Major Carter.'

Sam nodded. 'Teal'c.' She stopped him when he made to leave. 'Before you do your thing, maybe you should talk with Jonas.'

Teal'c inclined his head. He was about to walk out when Jack strode in and shut the door behind him.

'O'Neill,' Teal'c said, 'I was about to depart.'

'Give me a minute.' Jack asked. He looked serious and Teal'c saw the Major straighten automatically.

'What's wrong, sir?' She inched closer to him.

Jack raised his hand and waved a slim piece of note paper at her. 'I was walking by Daniel's office…' he stopped abruptly and his eyes flickered away with chagrin at his revelation. Teal'c empathised. He had often found himself walking to the office without thought; his feet merely taking him there as they followed the familiar route. His friendship with Jonas allowed him to make the journey without any other reason being apparent.

'Why is not important,' Jack declared, trying to cover himself, 'but I saw Jerry Finkleman coming out of the office, acting like he was school girl playing a prank. So, I went in.'

'Is Jonas OK?' Sam immediately asked.

Jack's eyes shot to her. 'He wasn't there. But this was on the desk.' He handed her the note. 'I was hoping you would have an explanation.'

Sam read it and her mouth fell open. She handed it to Teal'c silently.

_Your bitch Carter won't save you next time._

'I was actually just telling Teal'c, sir.' Sam ran through the events at the gym again succinctly. 'I didn't report it because I didn't have any proof, sir.'

'Well, you showing up and spoiling their fun at the gym explains that note.' Jack tapped the note Teal'c had placed on the bench.

Teal'c scowled. 'I will talk with Jeremy Finkleman.'

'No offence, Teal'c, but your talk is likely to end up with you spending time in solitary confinement.' Jack retorted. He shuffled awkwardly and gave a heavy sigh. 'I'll handle this.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. The Colonel had been even less welcoming of Jonas Quinn than the Major.

'Don't give me the eyebrow, Teal'c.' Jack sighed. 'Finkleman's crossed a line with this.' He picked up the note. 'When Hammond sees it, Jerry and his friends will be gone before the end of the day.'

Teal'c nodded slowly. The Tau'ri had their own rules and while he was a member of SG1 he would abide by them. He would have preferred to punish them personally but he trusted O'Neill would follow through on his word.

Jack motioned at Sam. 'You'd better come with me and tell the story to Hammond yourself.'

'Yes, sir.' Sam agreed readily.

'You,' Jack pointed at Teal'c, 'find Jonas and take him off somewhere out of the way for a couple of hours.'

He knew O'Neill had given him the assignment to keep him away from Finkleman and the others while the official wheels were put in motion but he acquiesced. He went in search of Jonas and found him in the mess with Nyan. He gathered some food and joined them.

'Hey, we heard about Doctor Lerrick.' Jonas commented as he bit greedily into an apple.

'Is it true that she attacked you?' Nyan asked.

'She was not herself.' Teal'c said diplomatically.

'I take it she's off SG1.' Jonas grinned. 'That's seven now.'

'Indeed.' Teal'c agreed.

'I heard Colonel O'Neill got the incident on tape.' Nyan said with a teasing smile. 'Perhaps it should be the subject of our next movie night.'

'General Hammond has possession of the tape.' Teal'c said suddenly even more grateful to General Hammond for his discretion.

'What movie should we go for?' Nyan asked, changing the subject much to Teal'c's relief.

His mood lightened. 'Jonas Quinn has yet to watch Star Wars.'

'Star Wars it is.' Nyan agreed. He was as much a fan as Teal'c and happy to rewatch the films endlessly.

'Star Wars?' Jonas questioned. His face was alive with curiosity.

'It is a story of good versus evil situated in a space environment.' Teal'c said enthusiastically. 'You will enjoy it.'

Jonas nodded. 'OK. I'm in.'

Nyan grinned at Teal'c. They were always pleased at the opportunity to convert another fan. They talked for a while filling in Jonas on the history of Star Wars before Nyan departed.

Teal'c set his drink down and regarded Jonas thoughtfully. 'Have you practised your defensive training recently, Jonas Quinn?'

Jonas shook his head. 'No.'

His honest answer gave away that his sparring session with Finkleman and the others had not been the truth. 'I will be happy to assist you if you wish to practice.' Teal'c said mildly. 'It is important to keep your skills fresh if you wish to one day become a member of a team.'

'You're right.' Jonas gave an apologetic smile. 'But not today. I have to get back to work. SG8 brought in this unusual translation and Doctor Kerry wants me to take a look at it.'

'Tomorrow then?' Teal'c asked as they both got to their feet and made their way out of the mess.

'Sure.' Jonas smiled.

Teal'c kept silent and followed his friend into the elevator. Jonas threw him a curious look when Teal'c got out at the same level.

'Uh, Teal'c, are you following me?' Jonas asked with a laugh as they made their way down the corridor.

'Indeed I am.' Teal'c confirmed.

The truth halted Jonas in his tracks. 'Why?'

'I am to keep you occupied while Airmen Finkleman, Gregory and Locke are arrested and escorted from the SGC.' Teal'c did not see the point in lying.

Jonas stared at him in shock.

Teal'c regarded him for a long moment. 'Should we not continue this discussion in the office, Jonas Quinn?'

'Uh, right.' Jonas whirled around and headed for the privacy of Daniel's office. The door was barely shut when he spoke again. 'How did you know?'

Teal'c clasped his hands behind his back. 'Why did not tell me, my friend?'

Jonas slumped onto a stool. 'I didn't want to bother anyone or make trouble.'

'You were afraid you would lose your place here.' Teal'c surmised.

'I'm an alien here, Teal'c.' Jonas sighed. 'Why would anyone believe me over them?'

'Because they are cowards.' Briefly, Teal'c allowed some of his anger toward them to show on his face before he regained control and smoothed his expression.

Jonas folded his arms over his chest. 'Are they really going to be gone?'

He looked Jonas directly in the eye. 'Yes.' Teal'c knew O'Neill would keep his word.

Teal'c saw the sheen of tears that the young man could not quite hide. His heart stirred with sympathy. The Kelownan had left his planet behind; betrayed his people and had few friends on Earth. Teal'c understood exactly how lonely Jonas Quinn felt because he had felt the same. Only it had been different for him, Teal'c thought. Apart from his additional years of experience, of life, he'd had SG1. That was probably what drove Jonas Quinn's desire to join a SG team; to gain that camaraderie and friendship; to erase the loneliness. Teal'c was not unaware that Jonas Quinn wanted to be part of SG1 for that reason but he also knew it was unlikely O'Neill would ever agree. He reached forward and clasped Jonas's forearm warmly.

'You are not alone, Jonas Quinn.' Teal'c promised and was rewarded as Jonas smiled widely back at him.

o-O-o

Saying goodbye to Abydos was hard. Daniel looked out at the golden sands and wondered at the emotion that filled him. The lessons were over. He had control of his form and of his powers. Oma had told him he learned quickly. He had found the lesson of non-interference hard. The incident with Major Roberts had only been the start of that particular lesson – and he had understood when Oma intervened. To sit in judgement was the act of a God and if he put himself in that place, pretended that he knew best, he was no better than the Goa'uld.

The second part of the lesson had been harder; Har'li, a woman the same age as Sha're had been bitten by a tavka spider. Sha're had warned Daniel about them. They were small and poisonous although rarely fatal. Har'li had reacted severely to the poison…

_Daniel watched as she suffered; her dusky skin sheening with fever, her dark eyes wide and frightened. She reminded him too much of Sha're, he mused, but he knew he would have felt the same for anyone. The knowledge and ability to save her was within his grasp yet as he wavered Oma had appeared by his side again._

'_You care for her.' Oma said gently._

_Daniel's lips tightened. 'She's suffering.'_

'_And you could save her.' Oma sighed. 'We have had this discussion, Daniel.'_

'_Is saving one life so bad?' Daniel asked._

_Oma frowned. 'And what of the next life which is threatened by a fall or an illness? Will you save them all?'_

_Daniel looked away from Har'li. 'I could try.'_

'_You cannot save everybody, Daniel.' Oma touched his arm and he felt the age of her power flow through him, around him. 'And it is not the way nature works. Death is a necessity; a renewal. It restores energy to the universe; fuels the creation of something new. Without death, the universe itself would cease to exist.' She paused. 'It is why I choose to Ascend only a few.'_

'_And why the Others believe you shouldn't.' Daniel completed. 'If I saved her they would know, wouldn't they?'_

'_They would punish you.' Oma said. _

_Something flickered in her eyes and Daniel frowned. 'And you.' He realised with a heartfelt sigh. He let out a slow breath. 'When do I meet these Others anyway?'_

'_They will come to you when they are ready.' Oma grimaced. 'I helped you, Daniel, which means there are some who will never recognise you.'_

_Daniel shrugged and looked at Har'li again. 'So I can't do anything?'_

_Oma smiled. 'Perhaps there is something.' She swept a hand across the room and a stack of herbs collapsed. The elderly woman tending to Har'li muttered under her breath and began to clear up the mess. She stopped suddenly as her wizened and deformed hands held one herb and a startled look appeared in her eyes. She called for her grandson and within minutes a poultice was placed on Har'li's ankle where the spider bite swelled black and seeping. _

'_So you cheated.' Daniel commented, folding his arms around his body._

'_I walked a line.' Oma countered. 'Har'li will live because she was saved by her own kind.'_

'_And your nudge?' Daniel remarked._

'_Will be tolerated.' She admitted. 'But it cannot be done for all and it cannot be done all the time. You will be watched by the Others.'_

_Daniel nodded in understanding. He watched as Har'li's colour improved as her breathing evened out. She would live. _

He had learned his lesson well. He could save one life occasionally by smoke and mirrors but he could never use his ability to save millions. Daniel pondered that for a long moment.

He had left the SGC to Ascend partly to escape, partly to explore and learn as an Ascended being, but partly because he had believed that he could do more if he was no longer there. He wasn't certain the latter was true anymore and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. He only knew that he had to see what he'd done through; there was something important for him to learn, he just had to discover what. Whatever happened, his initial lessons were over and it was time to leave Abydos.

'You will miss this place.' Shifu said quietly, appearing by his side silently.

'Yes.' Daniel didn't bother to deny it.

Shifu gathered his robes and looked curiously at Daniel. 'May I ask you something, Father?'

Daniel nodded without thinking.

'Why did you unbury the Stargate if not to leave?' Shifu asked.

The innocent question sent a rush of pain and guilt through him. 'To explore but I always intended to come back.'

'Your life here was not enough.' Shifu said sagely.

'No, I guess not.' Daniel made a face. 'I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be because the love I shared with your mother should have been enough.'

'I didn't mean to make you unhappy.' Shifu slid his small hand into Daniel's.

'Not unhappy.' Daniel murmured. He looked around. 'I once thought this was everything I wanted even as I made choices that showed the complete opposite. I can see that now.'

'Yet it remains special to you.'

'Abydos will always be special to me.' Daniel agreed.

'Because of Mother.'

'We loved each other very much.' Daniel felt the truth of that for the first time in a long while. 'But not only because of her.' He continued. 'Because of Skaara and Good Father; everyone here.' He looked East toward the pyramid, beyond to the caves. 'Because this was my first alien planet and that experience means something to me.'

'This will be my home now.' Shifu informed him.

Daniel turned to him surprised. 'You're not coming with me?'

'It is your journey.' Shifu breathed in deeply. 'My own is at an end; Abydos will be to me as Kheb is to Oma.'

Shifu had found his destination, Daniel realised. 'And I have still to find my mine.'

Shifu smiled. 'Where will you go?'

Daniel wrinkled his nose. 'I don't know.' But he knew he needed to make one small diversion before he began his journey in earnest. He said goodbye to Shifu and left him on the sands where Daniel had once danced with Sha're. He travelled back to Earth with a single thought and made his way to the SGC.

It seemed the same. The same personnel buzzed the corridors; the same smell permeated the air; familiar sounds and sights of people coming and going through the Stargate as the programme continued its work to protect Earth.

Hammond was in his office talking with Colonel Chekov; the two seemed animated. No doubt the agreement to share technology was under discussion again. He watched as Hammond made diplomatic noises before ushering the Colonel out and making his way to the control room. Daniel observed the encouraging nod the General gave a new lab technician and the praise he offered to Sergeant Harriman. He wore the mantle of a leader with an easy authority but underneath, Daniel saw a good man with a generous heart and spirit.

Daniel left the General and made his way through the corridors to the infirmary. Janet strode confidently into her office with a nurse, reviewing a patient's treatment. He knew she was fierce as a physician; as protective of her charges as a tigress with her cubs. She had tried so hard to save him. As soon as the door shut, Janet picked up the phone and called Cassie to check on the results of a test. Her face lit up as she began to praise her. His attention turned to the photo of her daughter and he felt a pang. He missed Cassie; missed her badly.

He let himself out of the office and made his way to his own. It was such a familiar path, one he must have walked every day he had been at the SGC. Jonas sat on a stool by the central bench. He was absently eating grapes as he read one of Daniel's journals, the weather channel on in the background. Jonas hadn't changed much about the room, Daniel mused, unsure whether to be grateful. He gave one final look around, saying goodbye, but there was one more goodbye to make.

His three former team-mates were in the commissary. Daniel kept himself hidden from their sight but sat in the fourth chair beside Teal'c, opposite Jack. He watched the three of them with a heavy heart. Sam spooned up blue Jello and tried to hide a smile at one of Jack's sly remarks. Teal'c's eyebrow rose in comforting familiarity as he made inroads to the huge slice of pie in front of him. Jack waved his fork in the air and gestured at the other two.

They were discussing a failed mission with the latest candidate to join them, a Doctor Williams. Apparently the scientist had failed to make an impact when he had incorrectly translated a language and gotten them trapped in a cell for an hour until Sam had worked out how to undo it. They didn't really want a fourth, Daniel realised, but they were complying with Hammond's order. It comforted Daniel that they missed him. His ego was too healthy for him not to acknowledge it.

He missed them too.

Every day.

It was a yearning he was learning to live with but the presence of them, the sight and sound of them, pulled at him. For a brief moment, the urge to reveal himself, to simply say 'hi, here I am' was almost overwhelming. But he resisted. It would be too cruel.

He could feel their grief had lessened; acceptance taking its place. They missed him and felt his loss but they continued to live without him; they had to, he had given them no other choice. To reveal himself would bring them a moment's happiness and another wave of renewed pain when he left again.

No. It was better that he remained hidden. Besides, Daniel mused, maybe popping into a lower plane to say hi and have cake constituted interfering; he wasn't sure. The three beside him moved from the subject of candidates to their plans for New Year's Eve.

A New Year, Daniel thought. In a few days, it would be a New Year and SG1 would travel through the gate with somebody else as their fourth team-mate. They would continue their journey without him. He should leave, continue his own journey.

Daniel remained sat at the table unable to move.

His journey could wait while he stayed one more moment with SG1.


	24. Three Nerds and An Astrophysicist

**Author's Note: **As we head into S6, I just want to take a moment to explain how I'll treat Daniel going forward; he will still appear in the TAGs as I follow his journey (the benefit of fanfic meaning I don't need to rely on actor availability) but he may not appear in _every_ TAG. This TAG is primarily: Daniel/Sam friendship, McKay/Sam friendship, Jonas/Team relationship.

**Redemption 1 & 2 Recap:** _SG1 returns under fire with their latest recruit, Captain Hagman. Jack is injured and Hagman is hit with a tranquilizer dart. Hammond notes that Hagman will be reassigned. Sam visits Jonas and invites him on a visit to Area 51 to see the new X302; a completely human built glider. The naquadria will enable it to enter hyperdrive. Jonas talks with Teal'c and Sam expressing a wish to join SG1; but both express their doubt about the possibility. Teal'c talks with Jack anyway, only for Jack to confirm that he's not certain he'd want Jonas watching his back and complains at having to appoint a sociopolitical nerd to offset SG1's overwhelming coolness. Bra'tac arrives to inform Teal'c's estranged ex-wife, Drey'auc, is ill, and Teal'c leaves. _

_An incoming wormhole connects and remains with no explanation. Sam investigates but can't explain it and fears deepen when the 38 minute window comes and goes. Eventually, they realise the gate is being bombarded with some kind of energy that is being stored in the buffers and if they can't stop it, the gate will explode._

_Meanwhile, Teal'c arrives too late; Drey'auc is dead and Rya'c is furiously angry with his father. The two reconcile as Drey'auc is laid to rest unaware of the danger to Earth._

_Much to Sam's horror, Rodney McKay arrives to assist but Sam and Jack already have a plan to take the X302 to Abydos and communicate with the Asgard. Neither Jonas nor McKay thinks it will work because of the instability of the naquadria. Sam and Jack reach orbit but the plan fails for the reason McKay and Jonas believed it would. Back at the SGC, they are left without a plan._

_Shaq'rel arrives to warn Bra'tac and Teal'c that Anubis plans to attack Earth. But when they can't dial Earth they realise they are too late. Luckily Bra'tac remembers the planetary addresses of the few planets Anubis defends and when they cannot connect to one, realise it must be the origin of the attack. They leave in a ship to stop the attack taking Rya'c who is determined to prove his worth to his father._

_Anubis communicates with Earth via hologram to warn them of their doom. McKay comes up with a plan and Sam is ordered to work with McKay. The plan doesn't work and Sam is injured. McKay apologises to her; telling her she is an artist. They get back to work not realising that Teal'c, Bra'tac and Rya'c are proceeding with their plan but Teal'c and Bra'tac are captured._

_Sam talks with Jonas and he gives her the idea to remove the Stargate and transport it into space using the X302. Jack will fly the X302 as only one person can be aboard due to the weight restrictions. Unfortunately the flight doesn't go well but working together, Jack, McKay, Jonas and Sam manage to come up with a plan B. The X302 enters hyperspace and Jack ejects just before. _

_On Anubis's planet, Rya'c steals a glider and frees his father and Bra'tac. He then goes on to destroy the weapon. Unaware, McKay says goodbye to Sam, and Hammond and Jack discuss retirement in the wake of the programme shutting down due to their belief they have no way of defending against the weapon. However, Teal'c arrives in a ship to inform them that the weapon is destroyed. The programme gets up and running with the Russian Stargate, and Rya'c says goodbye to a proud Teal'c. _

_Jonas makes an impassioned plea to Jack who seems unconvinced. As Hammond informs Jack that the agreement with the Russians included a Russian joining SG1, Jack suggests they give the Russians their own unit; he has already chosen their new member. _

_With a new mission, SG1 head through the gate with their new member: Jonas._

**Three Nerds and An Astrophysicist**

Daniel Jackson walked around the devastated site of the Ancient device that had almost destroyed Earth. He kneeled in the dust and dirt, unaware that he had mentally clothed himself in the uniform of the SGC. Before his Ascension, he would have been thrilled to have discovered such an artefact; it was an archaeologist's dream. The monument was a symbol of some kind, he mused, although not much was left. Teal'c's son, Rya'c, had done a thorough job of blasting it into smithereens.

Daniel's attention was drawn to the partially intact foundation stone. His incorporeal fingers traced over the words that flowed over the surface. Before his Ascension it would have taken him weeks, potentially months, to translate the writing but his new form afforded him the knowledge that allowed him to read it as easily as English. He rubbed his chin as he looked up and glanced around the crater again. The Ancients hadn't intended the device to be a weapon. It had been a tool to fix defunct Stargates; to renew their energy sources. Samantha Carter would have loved to have examined it or rather to have taken it apart, he mused, missing her presence as he brushed more dust away from the stone.

He remained kneeling in the dirt and continued to check out the markings, keeping one metaphorical ear cocked for trouble. Not that anyone could see him. Daniel was hidden from the eyes of those on the physical plane, and more than that, the planet had been deserted in the wake of the weapon's demise; Daniel was the only living being for miles.

The solitude, and surprisingly the lack of interruption, eventually intruded on his study. He glanced up, almost expecting to see Jack O'Neill about to complain that Daniel was taking too long, or Teal'c standing guard. Daniel shrugged away the lonely shiver, unwilling to acknowledge how much he had come to rely on the companionship of his team-mates, and kept working.

Another hour passed before he stopped.

He sat cross-legged at the edge of the crater and looked into the ruined remains. His findings prompted questions. How had Anubis known about the device? And how had he known it could be used as a weapon to destroy Earth? How had the Goa'uld fixed it? Because the ruins gave clear evidence that the device had been broken and fixed.

A sigh escaped him. For all the knowledge he had gained, there were some things that remained a mystery. The machinations of a power hungry, evil Goa'uld was one of them. Perhaps that was a good thing, Daniel mused with a smile. Still, he couldn't deny that understanding Anubis was probably the first step in...in what?

Daniel frowned deeply.

His new existence had rules and he was just finding his way around them but he didn't think turning up at the SGC every time to warn his friends of the Goa'uld's next move would be in the spirit of non-interference. Frustration filled him for a long moment.

He took a breath and expelled the air in a long whoosh that dispelled the dissatisfaction tensing his being. It was early days he reminded himself. And there were ways around the non-interference rule. He grimaced. He had 'nudged' Bra'tac into remembering the address for the planet. The Jaffa had known it but it had been buried in the recesses of his mind.

Not that his nudge had really done anything to save Earth in the end. Rya'c's action had been too late to save the Earth Stargate but thankfully, Earth had already been saved. Between Jack, Sam, Rodney McKay and Jonas Quinn, they had come up with a plan that had worked. He was pleased about that; he was.

Daniel rolled his eyes.

OK, so maybe he was a little irked to realise that what everyone said was true; no-one was indispensable. He snorted. He had chosen to walk away from his previous life. Of course, at the time, he had believed he could help them as an Ascended being. It hadn't been easy to watch while Earth had hovered at the brink of a disaster with the power to save it within his grasp and yet unable to do anything.

'It's never easy.'

Daniel froze at the voice and turned his head slowly to look at the man who had suddenly appeared beside him. He appeared to be a thirty-something, with blond-streaked hair and kind eyes. Daniel's forehead wrinkled with recognition. He had seen him somewhere before but where? The memory came to him sharp and swift; a surveillance photo of Sam and an alien who had once been an Ascended being when she had been investigated by the NID for hiding said alien in her house.

'Orlin.'

'Yes.' Orlin smiled at him. 'And you are Daniel.'

Daniel nodded. 'It's, uh, nice to meet you.' He gestured toward Orlin. 'We never got the chance while you were on Earth.' He cleared his throat. 'I want to thank you for what you did.'

Orlin looked at him questioningly.

'Saving Earth; Sam.' Daniel said. 'She would have died without your help.' He pulled a face. It probably wasn't prudent to mention that Sam wouldn't have been in danger either if Orlin hadn't fixated on Sam and had the SGC believing she was nuts.

'I was happy to save her.' Orlin said simply. 'She is very special to me.'

'Right.' It was said with all the wariness of a suspicious brother.

Orlin sighed. 'You must miss her.'

'Very much.' Daniel admitted.

There was silence for a while as they both thought of her.

'Why aren't you watching over Sam?' Daniel asked, giving into his curiosity.

'I would be tempted to interfere to save her.' Orlin admitted. 'And if I did...I fear the next time they will punish Samantha for my transgression.'

Daniel shivered. He hadn't really given Oma's warnings of punishments too much thought but sitting with Orlin, Daniel was reminded that the Others had destroyed Velona as a punishment for Orlin's interference. Would they do the same to Earth, Daniel wondered, if he were to step in one time to save it? It was probably best if he kept his distance from his team-mates for a while. 'So,' he said finally, determined to move the conversation on from Sam, 'you survived the explosion.'

Orlin inclined his head. 'We are difficult to destroy.'

'But you didn't return to mortal form again?' Daniel commented.

'It would have been too difficult to return.' Orlin said, a hint of sadness creeping into his tone. 'It takes years before the power you possess as an Ascended being can be harnessed to revert your energy back into matter.'

'Ah.' Daniel frowned. 'I guess I thought you could do anything once...' he waved at himself, 'you know.'

'In time that is true.' Orlin said. 'I will be able to retake my mortal form again in a few years. I remember what I once was enough to regain my abilities quickly. It will take you longer but one day you will have the knowledge and the power.'

'But until then I can't go back.' Daniel didn't know why it disturbed him that he didn't have the option given he knew he was committed to his Ascension.

'Not without the help of one of the Others.' Orlin qualified.

'The Others.' Daniel's lips twisted. 'Oma mentioned them too.'

'Many will not recognise you.' Orlin confirmed, guessing his question.

'Because I was helped.'

'Many do not recognise me this time for the same reason even though I once achieved it alone.' Orlin smiled at Daniel's faint air of disgust. 'I think you will find many will want to make your acquaintance. You are intriguing, Daniel Jackson.'

Daniel didn't know how to respond to that. It sounded too much like he was the latest freak show on the Ascended plane. He tensed as Orlin suddenly seemed to peer at Daniel intently.

Orlin's gaze shifted to the crater in front of them and the ruins. 'You were studying the device for a long time.'

Daniel caught the hidden question of why and his lips twitched. 'I like studying the past.'

'You learn from it.'

'Yes,' Daniel agreed enthusiastically, 'and that shapes the future.'

'So what did you learn?' Orlin asked, waving across the crater to the ruins.

'That the Ancients never intended for the device to be a weapon.' Daniel murmured. 'Anubis misused it for his own purpose and now the possibility of ever recharging a gate through this device is gone.' He sighed. 'And I learned Anubis knows a lot about Ancient technology. He repaired it before he used it.'

'It worries you.'

'Yes.' Daniel admitted without hesitation. 'It does. He has a mastery of this technology that surpasses the rest of the Goa'uld system lords. If he gets his hands on the right artefacts he could become the most powerful Goa'uld in the galaxy.'

'And Earth would be in danger.'

'Earth is already in danger and we...they do pretty well at saving themselves.' Daniel countered passionately. 'I was thinking of the rest of the galaxy.'

Orlin stared at him again.

'What?' Daniel asked, wondering if he had dirt smudged on his nose.

'I understand now why Oma helped you.' Orlin said, shifting his gaze back to the crater. 'You have a purity of spirit, Daniel.'

'Thank you. I think.' Daniel wondered whether that was better than intriguing.

'It is conceivable that you would have Ascended on your own given time.' Orlin continued, oblivious to Daniel's startled reaction. 'Perhaps that explains...'

'Explains?' prompted Daniel.

Orlin shook his head. 'It is not for me to tell you but for you to learn in your own time.'

Daniel sighed. 'Is this one of those if you instantly know the candlelight is fire the meal was cooked a long time ago things?'

Orlin grinned. 'Exactly.' He looked up at the blue sky. 'Your destiny is in your hands.'

Daniel found himself smiling. 'That sounds so much better than fate even though they essentially mean the same thing.'

'Yet you and I know they really don't. Both have their place.' Orlin noted with a shrug. 'I am glad Oma Ascended you, Daniel.'

'Me too.' Daniel leaned back on his hands and felt the sunlight bathe him in a warm glow. 'Me too.'

o-O-o

He hated Nevada.

How had he forgotten that, Rodney McKay thought crossly. It was too hot and dry and...and hot, damn it. At least Russia had been cold. He shifted nervously in the passenger seat of the jeep and tried to ignore the trickle of sweat traversing its way down his spine. The air conditioning was up high but it didn't seem to be working. His t-shirt was going to be drenched by the time they reached wherever the hell it was that they were heading towards. His underarms were swimming; so much for the all day freshness promised by his deodorant.

McKay frowned and moved position again, easing the seatbelt away from his shoulder. He should have known it had been too good to be true. He had been thrilled in the wake of saving Earth the week before to be offered a new role at Area 51 especially with the programme back up and running. It seemed his efforts had ended his assignment in Russia – something that delighted him. It was only fair that he was recognised, McKay thought with pride. He had helped make the plan work even if it had been a crazy and insane plan.

He almost snorted out loud and only managed to catch himself. Crazy and insane; that seemed to describe Samantha Carter perfectly. Beautiful, crazy and insane, McKay corrected. And she _liked_ him. He didn't stop the self-satisfied smirk that emerged at that thought. Of course, she had also said that she had been more attracted to him when she had _disliked_ him.

Huh.

His mind was already zipping ahead, formulating the calculation that described her reaction in mathematical terms. There had to be a point at which her like and attraction met, McKay mused. He thought about it for another second and rubbed out the mental equations as though he was wiping chalk off a blackboard. If he was to have any chance with her, attraction was more important than like, McKay thought determinedly, so he didn't need her to like him.

A small voice inside him that protested that he _wanted_ her to like him and he resolutely ignored on it. He figured he could get her to hate him again easily enough. The small voice snippily told him that all he had to do was be himself and he shifted in his seat, uncomfortable this time with his musings rather than the stifling heat.

His inner voice was sounding far too like his sister. _That_ was creepy. He felt a stirring of conscience. He hadn't spoken to Jeannie since he'd called her to let her know he was back in the US and she had told him she was pregnant. Pregnant. What the hell was she thinking? Well, clearly she hadn't been thinking. And what was worse was that she had dropped out of academia intent on having it.

'_I want to be a Mom.' _

A stay-at-home Mom; McKay shuddered. It was a phase. She'd come to her senses once the morning sickness kicked in. Or was she already having morning sickness; he'd forgotten to ask but then he had been too busy yelling at her. His pesky conscience poked at him again. Maybe shouting hadn't helped but, damn it, she was his sister and some idiot had knocked her up and her life was over. He was entitled to be upset.

It was such a waste.

She was brilliant.

Better than him, the small voice whispered again. His jaw tensed. Not better, just...different. Like him and Sam. She'd expect him to apologise, McKay mused; Jeannie not Sam. Jeannie was like that. Well, not this time. He had been perfectly right calling her stupid and, maybe the word dumb had been used once or twice, in between deriding her life choices. He squirmed on the seat. So, he had been a little harsh but she'd get over it once she came to her senses.

Maybe.

He sighed and glanced out at the scenery before turning back to look at his driver. What was his name again...Murton...Murry...ah, _Murphy_. The Captain in charge of ground control during the flights of the X302. Murphy seemed completely oblivious to the surrounding desert and the building heat in the car.

McKay looked at the exposed skin on his own forearms – he had worn a t-shirt proclaiming his genius that morning – and frowned.

Were they pink?

Was he burning?

Of course he was burning. He had very sensitive skin and they were being boiled alive. Why hadn't he remembered his homemade sun-cream? He needed to get out of the sun; how much longer was it going to be? He opened his mouth.

'Don't worry, Doctor McKay,' Murphy said almost as though he'd anticipated the question, 'we're almost there.'

'You said that half an hour ago.' McKay muttered. He subsided though, gazing out at the unrelenting view.

He had been excited when he'd reported for duty at Area 51. He was going to get to play with the naquadria and possibly the X302 glider, not to mention half a dozen other alien technologies that the Stargate programme had just uncovered. More, he was back in the US where he didn't have to struggle to speak Russian or suffer the cuisine or deal with the incompetence of his Russian lab assistants. He would miss sparring with Svetlana Markov but he figured he could do that equally well separated by a continent and especially now he could crow about technology she wouldn't have access to at all. So, although he didn't really want to admit it, he had been looking forward to starting work that morning. Only he had arrived to find he had no lab at all; no lab assistants; no assignments. It had been a relief when Murphy had shown up and offered to take him to see something with the fatal words 'Major Carter thought you might want to take a look at this project.'

It was probably something dull. Something she had turned down because it was in the middle of Nowhere, USA. She had probably thought of it to punish him for coming back from Russia. Or burning her hand. Not that he had burned her hand exactly but it had been his plan that had resulted in her burning her hand. She had said she liked him – OK, not in those words – but she had kissed him – on the cheek – but a kiss was a kiss and...and the point was that if she liked him, it couldn't be bad, could it?

His eyes narrowed on a spot in the distance. Was that a building? _Please_ let it be a building, he begged silently.

'That's our destination.' Murphy confirmed. 'It should only take ten more minutes and we'll be there.' He tapped the steering wheel. 'Of course, we're still technically in Area 51.'

'We are?' McKay frowned. 'We've been driving for hours.'

'Forty minutes.' Murphy corrected.

'Really?' McKay stared at the clock on the dash. It felt like he'd been locked in the jeep for an eternity. He put a hand up to the air vent and sulked when only a thin puff of cold hit his fingers.

'Sorry. The AC must be out.'

Murphy sounded far too cheerful, McKay thought grumpily. He was obviously inhuman. How he could sit there in his uniform and not sweat? The thought kept McKay's fertile mind occupied until they reached a chain link fence guarded by an armed soldier. They were waved through and McKay gave a sigh of relief as they pulled up in front of the building.

Murphy indicated for him to get out and McKay struggled for a moment with the door before he got his feet on the ground. He adjusted his satchel on his shoulder and followed the Captain through the door and into..._an elevator?_

'We're going down?' McKay asked sharply.

'Yes.' Murphy nodded. 'Several hundred feet.'

Why did the Air Force have to build everything underground? Didn't they worry about things collapsing on top of them? And wasn't it weird given they were the _Air_ Force? McKay's nose wrinkled as a sudden whiff of stale sweat hit his nostrils. Was that _him_? He looked up at the ceiling and pretended he hadn't noticed anything unusual. The elevator slid to a halt and Murphy led the way out onto a metal walkway. McKay looked up and stopped.

_Holy crap._ The words resounded loudly through his head as his jaw literally dropped. McKay snapped his mouth shut.

It was a spaceship.

They were building a spaceship.

A real one.

'Wow.' McKay couldn't take it in. His insides were doing some kind of jumpy thing which had him all but vibrating with repressed energy. 'This is incredible.' He pointed a shaking finger at Murphy. 'This is insane but incredible.'

Murphy smiled smugly. 'Doctor McKay, this is Project Prometheus.'

'Prometheus?' McKay managed to stutter out.

'Otherwise known as the X303.' Murphy began to lead the way onto the vessel. 'It's designed to be Earth's primary interstellar space craft.'

Craft? What happened to ship? Air Force, McKay reminded himself. His head was whipping side to side so fast he was certain he was going to have whiplash. It was just too much to take in.

'Major Carter did the initial design...'

Of course she had, McKay thought grumpily.

'...but we like to think we've added to it.' Murphy grinned over his shoulder as they stepped onto the craft. He kept a solid pace as he led the way to the engine room, describing various systems and design points as he went. McKay only half-listened to him, too in awe of what he was seeing to pay attention.

'...and we're hoping to get some additional technology from the Goa'uld mothership.'

McKay snapped back to Murphy. 'What Goa'uld mothership?'

'Deep space picked it up yesterday.' Murphy informed him briskly.

McKay halted forcing Murphy to stop. 'You're telling me there is a Goa'uld mothership on its way here? As in to Earth here? Now?'

Murphy nodded, a wary note entering his gaze.

'And you're not worried?' McKay was barely aware of his voice becoming something of a squeak. 'Shouldn't you be doing something?' He demanded, gesturing wildly, 'like, I don't know, planning a counter-attack?'

'SG1 are already en route to take a look.' Murphy said calmly. 'Until then we don't really have any other information and all preparations for a counter-attack should one be required are in hand. In the meantime, we have a job to do.'

'Right.' McKay followed as Murphy continued down the corridor. How could anyone work when the world might end at any moment, McKay mused desperately. How could they just ignore it and...Sam. Sam was part of SG1. God, she was going to take a look at the Goa'uld mothership! She would probably infiltrate it with some nutty plan and SG1 would save the world again. So nothing to worry about it.

He wasn't jealous.

He wasn't.

OK, so maybe a little. It was a Goa'uld mothership with lots of cool stuff inside it.

'They really should have taken a scientist.' McKay said out loud. 'I mean, apart from Major Carter.'

'They did.'

McKay's eyebrows shot up. 'Who?' He demanded. And why the hell hadn't he been chosen? Not that he wanted to risk his life on foolish plans to save the world, or risk his life at all, but he was the foremost expert on Goa'uld technology – except for Sam.

'Doctor Friesen.'

McKay snorted and ignored the questioning look Murphy sent him. Friesen was a tool. An incompetent tool who wouldn't be able to find his own...they entered the engine room for the second time that day McKay's mouth fell open.

Murphy nodded proudly as though he was a house owner showing a prospective buyer. 'Major Carter thought you might want to work on this.'

McKay almost clapped his hands together. Who cared about crappy little gliders when this was around? It was a perfect assignment for him – if the world didn't get blown to bits in the near future by the Goa'uld mothership.

Sam really _did_ like him, McKay thought gleefully.

'I'd like you to meet Sergeants Toby and Patel. They head the engineering team you'll be working with.' Murphy introduced the two men in matching green jumpsuits working at what McKay assumed would be the engine controls.

McKay barely nodded an acknowledgement, branding them Number One and Two respectively.

Toby approached Murphy and handed him a bulky folder.

'Thank you, Sergeant.' Murphy offered it to McKay. 'I had the team pull together all the relevant documentation to date; designs, tests, etc.'

McKay all but snatched the folder out of Murphy's hands and began to flip through it. 'No,' he muttered as he ripped a page out, screwed it up and tossed it aside, 'this is wrong; all wrong.' His eyes skipped over equations and calculations. 'This could work but...no.' Another page was tossed to the floor.

Murphy cleared his throat. 'So I'll leave you to it?'

McKay heard noise and not actual words. 'Hnmph.' He was oblivious to the exchange of looks between the Air Force personnel as Murphy departed and the Sergeants resumed their work. His mind was too busy building the engine to the X303.

o-O-o

His first SG1 mission.

The smile that Jonas Quinn had managed to contain as he had stepped into the wormhole on Earth bubbled up and broke free as he stepped out onto an alien planet. His gaze travelled over the desert environment before they settled on his team greeting Jacob Carter.

_His team._

It seemed incredible to Jonas that his dream had actually come true. He was a member of SG1. He had thought his impassioned plea to Colonel O'Neill to give him a chance had been summarily dismissed; the closing elevator doors symbolic. It had been a shock when he'd gone to see General Hammond and been told by the SGC commander, and the Colonel who had been present, that he was being reassigned to SG1 effective immediately.

The past few days had been a blur of training; self-defence and fighting with Teal'c, and shooting practice with Sam. The Colonel had kept a low profile but he had always been there in the background watching Jonas's performance. He figured he still had a lot to prove to Jack O'Neill. He had enjoyed it but he had been thrilled when his latest session had been cut short because of the approaching Goa'uld mothership.

Everyone was worried. He could tell that beneath the facade of professionalism and bravado. They had just narrowly escaped Anubis's last attempt to destroy Earth, and another attempt so soon after the last seemed too much to contemplate especially as the programme had almost ended almost a week before. It had only been an incredibly ambitious plan and the Colonel's bravery in flying the X302 glider that had saved the planet.

'...and this is Jonas Quinn.'

The Colonel's voice intruded on Jonas's daydreaming and he quickly turned back to realise he was being introduced to Sam's father.

'Jonas,' Jack waved at Jacob, 'Jacob Carter and Selmak.'

'It's an honour.' Jonas said formally. He held out a hand and Jacob shook it firmly. He really hoped he'd get a chance to talk to Selmak at some point. A Tok'ra symbiote who'd lived thousands of years? Fascinating.

Jacob looked over at the Colonel. 'We'd better get moving if we're to get there any time before that ship gets to Earth.' He jerked his head toward the cargo ship. 'Major Davis and Doctor Friesen are already aboard.'

Jack gestured at him and smirked. 'Lead on.'

Jonas wondered at the hesitant look Jacob shot his daughter before the Tok'ra liaison moved, walking swiftly toward the ship. They followed after him, Jonas gazing goggle-eyed at the vast red cliffs around them. It looked as though they had been chiselled out by some kind of technology than natural phenomenon. It was amazing. He entered the cargo ship backwards, turned around and mouthed the word 'wow.' He didn't catch the indulgent smile that curved Sam's lips nor at the way the Colonel rolled his eyes at him. Jacob and Teal'c took the front seats; they would fly the ship and Jonas hovered uncertainly.

'We're settling in the back here.' Sam nudged him in the right direction, pointing out the bathroom just off to the side.

Jonas took in the pallets already laid out as Davis and Friesen waved an acknowledgement at him. They had claimed two of the pallets, the Colonel sat down on another and Sam took the one beside him, leaving Jonas the remaining pallet beside her. Jonas dumped his rucksack on top of it and stood, glancing back at the open doorway to the cockpit. Maybe he could just...

'Get some sleep, Jonas.' The Colonel's order drifted sharply across the cargo hold. 'It's going to be a long journey.'

He nodded, trying to hide his disappointment and sat down. He followed the others and laid flat on the pallet. He closed his eyes. Beneath him he could feel the steady vibrations of the ship's engines and felt an almost unnoticeable tug as it entered hyperspace. It was unlikely that he was going to sleep, Jonas thought wryly; he felt like it was the evening before his barvha – the Kelownan ceremony that marked the passage of a boy to a man. It was all just too new; too exciting. Still, he kept silent with his body relaxed on the pallet so he wouldn't disturb the others.

Jonas wondered again why the Colonel had acquiesced to his joining the team. There was a rumour that he had only been chosen to prevent the Colonel from being forced to accept a Russian as the fourth member. Jonas's mouth firmed into a thin line. It wasn't the reason he wanted but in the end what mattered was that he had got his chance. He had to make the most of it and prove to the Colonel that he could make a difference...

Voices startled Jonas back into awareness, his head jerking up before he got his bearings and relaxed. He must have dozed off after all, he realised with some amusement. He settled back and tried to regain the drowsy oblivion, tried to block out the murmur of conversation drifting through the doorway. He stopped when he caught his own name and shifted instead to gain a better position to listen.

'...I'm just surprised at Jack's choice.' Jacob said to Teal'c. 'It's not as though the Air Force doesn't have plenty candidates.'

'Do you believe Jonas Quinn should be disqualified because he is an alien?' Teal'c asked.

'That's not what I'm saying, Teal'c, but I struggle to understand what he brings to the table.'

'He reminds me of Daniel Jackson,' Teal'c replied, 'perhaps the same is true for O'Neill.'

'He doesn't have the same skills as Daniel or any of the same knowledge.' Jacob argued.

'Jonas Quinn may not be Daniel Jackson but he has many skills of his own that may prove useful.' The rebuke was mild but firm.

'I would have thought he would have reminded you all of what happened to Daniel too much.' Jacob said finally.

The observation had Jonas flinching inwardly. He did remind them. He knew it. He could see it in the shadow in Sam's eyes; the wary mask that guarded the Colonel's when they looked at him. Perhaps he shouldn't have pushed so hard to be part of the team if it caused them so much pain.

'Jonas Quinn is not responsible for Daniel Jackson's Ascension.' Teal'c said. 'I believe he deserves the opportunity to fight the Goa'uld as he desires. Major Carter informed me she expressed a similar sentiment to O'Neill.'

His friend's support of him and the surprising comment about Sam warmed Jonas from the inside. He hadn't realised the Major had spoken up in support of him. During his one conversation with her, she had been embarrassingly blunt about his chances being close to non-existent. In truth he had known it already but it had stung even if he had tried to cover it up. Jacob was right; it really made no sense that the Colonel had chosen him. It looked as though the rumours were true. Jonas closed his eyes again.

'How's Sam doing?'

The question was delivered casually but the underlying tension gave away that Jacob was anxious for the answer.

'She continues to mourn Daniel Jackson's loss deeply.' Teal'c replied. 'As do we all.'

'I should have stayed with her.' Jacob sighed.

Jonas knew he should stop listening. Clearly Jacob was confiding in the Jaffa and he probably would be less than impressed to know Jonas had eavesdropped. But the comment explained the frisson of tension, the slight chill, between father and daughter.

'It is not always easy to make the right decision as a parent.' Teal'c murmured in response to Jacob's comment.

Jacob gave a huff of laughter. 'That's too true, Teal'c.'

'Yet even in anger, a child continues to desire their parent's love and approval.' Teal'c continued. 'I have recently learned the truth of this.'

'I heard what Rya'c did.' Jacob replied. 'You must be very proud.'

'Indeed.' Teal'c's pride coated the single word and brought another smile to Jonas's face.

'Selmak and I would like to offer our condolences on the loss of Drey'auc.' Jacob said solemnly.

'She died with honour.' Grief coloured the words and tone, Jonas realised. He hadn't even known Teal'c had been married or that he'd had a child before Teal'c's departure on the news of Drey'auc's illness. It reminded him that he still had a lot to learn about his new friend.

The silence stretched on. Jonas opened his eyes and moved slowly into a sitting position. He checked the others were sleeping and reached into his rucksack. He pulled out an empty notebook, opened it to the blank first page and began to write.

'What are you doing?' Sam's voice whispered across the short space between their pallets.

'Sorry.' Jonas said quickly, keeping his voice low. 'I didn't mean to wake you.'

'I was awake.' Sam waved away his apology and he wondered for a moment how much of Teal'c's and Jacob's conversation she had overheard. She gestured again at the notebook.

Jonas lifted it an inch. 'I, uh, I thought I'd keep a journal like Doctor Jackson. Keep up the tradition.' He didn't miss the gleam of pain in her blue eyes as she nodded in understanding.

'I'm going to check on the engines.' Sam murmured, getting off the pallet in a move that was swift and silent.

He hesitated to follow her as she left despite his innate curiosity about the engines screaming at him to do so.

She probably wanted some space.

Jonas tapped the top of the notebook thoughtfully and set it aside as he got to his feet, unaware of the wary brown eyes of his CO that watched him traverse the hold.

Sam was already bent over the glowing crystals as he approached. She glanced up at him quizzically. 'Jonas.' She frowned. 'Was there something you needed?'

'No, not exactly.' Jonas crossed his arms and struggled to begin. 'I wanted to thank you.' He gestured at her. 'For speaking with the Colonel.'

Her eyes widened at his words before she shrugged. 'The Colonel came to his decision on his own, Jonas.'

'But I know he values your opinion.' Jonas countered. He leaned against the wall on the opposite side of the open crystal tray to Sam. 'I'll be pleased if he comes to value mine half as much as he does yours.' He winced as the words came out a lot more wistful than he had intended.

'It just takes time to win his trust.' Sam comforted him as she adjusted a crystal.

'Maybe you could just tell me how I start.' Jonas rejoined with a hesitant smile.

Sam smiled back at him sympathetically but didn't answer the question. Jonas gave a nod; apparently it was something he was going to have to work out for himself.

'Do you know why he agreed to let me join?' Jonas asked impulsively. He took in her startled expression and hurried to explain. 'It's just I heard rumours...'

'Jonas,' Sam reached across the crystals and touched his arm, 'I don't know why the Colonel assigned you but I do know you shouldn't listen to rumours.'

Jonas nodded but he knew it was easier said than done. 'I know my being part of the team can't be easy for you and...'

'Jonas.' Sam said sharply. She removed her hand, her gaze dropping to the crystals. 'It wasn't your fault Daniel left.'

'He'll be back.' Jonas said without thinking.

Sam's head snapped up. 'You really believe that?'

Jonas nodded. 'Sure. I mean, I read all of his journals, and if I cared for anyone back on Kelowna the way he cared for you guys, I'm not sure I would have ever left.'

Her fingers traced over a crystal delicately. 'You're the first person to even acknowledge that he might come back one day.' She gave a sad grimace. 'Everyone else thinks he's gone for good.'

'Maybe that's what they think but not what they hope.' Jonas suggested. A quiet descended between them; it wasn't quite peaceful and companionable but it hinted at what could be if they became friends one day.

Jonas pushed off the wall and gestured awkwardly back towards the main hold. 'I should, uh, go and...' he took a couple of steps away.

'Jonas.'

He looked back at her.

Sam lifted a hand from the crystal tray and smiled softly, her features lit up with the glow of the crystals. 'Welcome to SG1.'

Jonas didn't even try to stop the grin that spread across his face.


	25. A First Time for Everything

**Author's Note: **Sam & Jacob relationship. Jack/Jonas friendship. Mild Sam/Jack UST.

**Descent Recap:** _SG1, Jacob, Major Davis and a scientist, Friesen head in a cargo ship towards a Goa'uld mothership that has turned up in Earth's orbit. They realise the Goa'uld must have abandoned the ship. Jack takes Sam, Jacob, Davis and Friesen to the mothership, telling Teal'c and a disappointed Jonas to stay behind._

_When they get to the mothership they realise the self-destruct was on but was halted. They start to check the ship out; Sam and Davis heading to the computer core while Jack and Friesen take the hyperdrive. As Jack goes to help Sam and Davis get into the computer core, Friesen takes a side trip to the shield generators on his way back to the bridge. _

_Jonas talks with Teal'c who informs him that it is Jonas's first mission and it will take time for Jonas to gain Jack's confidence. _

_Back on the ship, Sam theorises that Thor sabotaged the ship with a computer virus and sent it to Earth as a gift. Jack finds Friesen's body and realises that they have company. Some Jaffa hit the bridge, sabotaging the ship putting it into a descent, and attack Jacob who is wounded. Jack, Sam and Davis get to the bridge but as they contact Teal'c to ring them out, the cargo ship is attacked by the Jaffa. Teal'c saves Jonas and disables the Jaffa but the ring controls are damaged._

_Teal'c and Jonas head back to the SGC which notes the ship went into the sea. A submersible has been dispatched to rescue them. Jonas notes to Teal'c that he failed again; he's good at the intellectual exercises not so good at the heat of the moment stuff. Teal'c tells him there are many more battles to be fought._

_Jacob tells Jack Selmak is healing him; that the Jaffa must have been on deep kel no reem. Sam and Davis say they have life support working. The ship is flooding. As the submersible reaches the ship, Sam and Jack head back to the computer core but on the way there they are trapped in a section of corridor which fills up rapidly with water. As Jacob works desperately to free them, the water fills the section – Sam and Jack are in danger of drowning. Suddenly the door opens._

_Teal'c and Jonas arrive just as Sam and Jack get free. They meet up with Teal'c and Jacob. Sam notes something is going on; they can't leave just yet. Sam works out the virus is actually Thor's consciousness and that they should download him and leave. Davis points out that the self-destruct will go off once Thor's consciousness is downloaded. Jonas takes Jacob and Davis to the sub as the others head to the computer core. Sam removes Thor. But on the way out they get stuck. Jonas heads back to help them as they make their way to the glider bay. Jonas gets the force-shield working and rushes to join them. They all get to the gliders and escape. As Jacob checks on them, Jack notes all of SG1 is present and accounted for._

**A First Time for Everything**

Like most military men, the infirmary had always been one of Jacob Carter's least favourite places and it wasn't too surprising that after his cancer experience, his dislike had grown a hundredfold. He hadn't needed an infirmary bed since his blending with Selmak but his Tok'ra symbiote was struggling to heal the injuries he had sustained on the Goa'uld mothership. As a result his shoulder ached like a bitch and he had been confined to the SGC infirmary by Janet Fraiser who had stared him down with the half-amused smile of someone who was used to the battle and relished it.

_I'm sorry, Jacob._

Selmak's inner voice floated through his frustration and Jacob felt a twinge of guilt.

_It's not your fault_, he responded, trying to let go of his irritation.

_Actually it is_, Selmak replied dryly. _I am old and healing does not come as naturally to me as it once did._

Jacob snorted. Selmak was the oldest of the Tok'ra; her vast memory of knowledge and her experiences more than made up for a small delay in healing that would have taken him days and weeks without her. All in all he figured he had a good deal.

_I'm glad you think so_, Selmak's pleasure at his thought washed over him and he felt his body relax against the firm pillows for the first time since the doctor had insisted that he wasn't going anywhere. At least, he thought dryly, his status as a two star General had afforded him the comfort of a private room rather than a ward, even if he didn't consider his rank as meaningful and his career past tense.

He took a moment to wonder at his changed priorities. He had been career Air Force for as long as he could remember. He had never considered any other work – any other life. His father had served in the military; his grandfather too. It had been expected that he would follow the path and in truth he had never questioned it unlike his own son. Jacob remembered that his goal as a young man had been three stars on his uniform because he figured he didn't like the politics enough to make it to four and his Pop had made it to two. He knew the cancer had revised his ambitions; he had settled for being able to live. Moreover, the blending of Selmak had changed him, Jacob mused; perhaps more than he had anticipated or was willing to admit sometimes. He was a Tok'ra; that was how he defined himself these days. He felt Selmak's amusement at the thought and smiled.

The smile faded as his shoulder twinged again. It was his own fault, he remonstrated inwardly. Selmak wasn't the only one feeling her age. In his younger days, he would never have been caught as unaware as he had been on the peltak. He should have been on his guard even before Doctor Friesen's unfortunate demise. After all, hadn't he always been the one to say 'if it looks too good to be true...'

_It is too good to be true_, Selmak completed. Her mental sigh fluttered through Jacob's mind. _You were not the only one who did not pay attention; I should have known better than to believe Anubis would leave such a prize without a sting in its tail._

_You're mixing your metaphors_, Jacob pointed out and she snorted, _but thank you for the sharing the blame. _Another surge of guilt about other events on the ship flitted through his head before he could stop it.

He had almost lost his daughter.

The thought caused a momentary silence in his head as his hands fisted in the thin sheets.

_Samantha is safe, _Selmak reminded him gently.

Jacob forced himself to loosen his grip. _No thanks to me_, he replied.

_It could not be foreseen, Jacob._

Her tone failed to soothe him. Sam was his daughter; he was her father. He was meant to keep her safe. She had almost drowned in the ship along with Jack O'Neill because he had been unable to open a locked section of corridor. He had tried; God, he had tried. But none of the commands would work; everything he had attempted had failed. He could remember the desperation building; the panic; the knowledge that there was nothing he could do to save her...

He stared down at the green blanket. He had failed.

_It was not your failure alone_, Selmak tried to comfort him.

_I'm her father_, Jacob argued. _I should have been able to save her._ He sighed heavily. _This is the reason why she and I shouldn't serve on the same missions together._

Selmak was too startled at the idea to hide it. _I don't understand._

_Under normal circumstances, Sam and I would never be given the same mission,_ Jacob explained. _It's inappropriate for a father and a daughter to serve together in the same unit or under the same command. The relationship is too close._

_I don't consider it an issue, _Selmak retorted. _All the Tok'ra are family; we have no choice but to serve together._

_You don't have a choice_, Jacob reiterated. _The Air Force does._

_I still don't see..._

He cut her off abruptly._ What if I had to choose between Sam and...and Teal'c in a battle situation? How can I choose fairly? If I choose Teal'c, Sam may believe I deliberately was unfair to her to be fair to Teal'c but if I choose her everyone could say I chose her because she's my daughter. _He sighed._ I have half a mind to ask George to reconsider sending Sam on missions where I'm present._

_That would be foolish, _Selmak said firmly. _Sam serves on the SGC's flag team. If you pursue this, you could endanger her position and drive a wedge between you._

_There's already a wedge,_ Jacob countered. _She hasn't forgiven me for leaving when Daniel died. _The death of her former team-mate, Daniel Jackson, had hit Sam hard.

_And who's idea was that?_ Selmak's internal voice was rising with every word. _I told you I had no issues staying if you wished to spend time with her._

Jacob flushed with renewed guilt._ We had duties..._

_That could have been done by others._ Selmak sighed. _I know it reminded you of Kathy's death, Jacob._

_I'm not talking about that,_ Jacob thought sternly; there were some topics that remained off limits even with his symbiote – his marriage was one of them.

_Fine; then we will not talk, _Selmak fumed.

_Fine with me._

There was silence in his head and Jacob felt Selmak retreat behind mental barriers where her thoughts were hidden from him.

Jacob glowered at the ceiling.

'This a bad time, Jake?' George Hammond's voice drifted across from the doorway and Jacob waved him in.

'Actually, I was just thinking I needed to talk with you.' Jacob stated, ignoring the mental poke of disapproval from his symbiote at his words.

Hammond took the chair by the bed and gestured at Jacob to continue.

'You've had the debriefing?' Jacob questioned brusquely.

'Just finished.' Hammond informed him. 'That's partially why I'm here.'

Jacob nodded. His friend was the base commander, a busy man, and while he knew George would have taken the time to visit him regardless, the debriefing was a good excuse.

'I'm not sure I have anything to add to the report the others have probably given you.' Jacob admitted.

'I'd still like your view on events.' Hammond prompted mildly. There was a crease of concern between his brows.

'You catching heat on this?' Jacob asked bluntly, guessing at the reaction from the Pentagon and the President.

Hammond winced and nodded. 'The Chinese are questioning the cover story.' He snorted. 'Unsurprisingly.' He gave a huff of laughter and shook his head. 'I'm not entirely certain why anyone thought they wouldn't.'

'You think we're going to have to disclose the existence of the Stargate to them?' Jacob frowned. Earth politics was a minefield at the best of times. Their treaty with the Russians caused enough headaches without adding other political players into the mix.

'I'm almost entirely certain we will.' Hammond confessed with a sigh. He rubbed his bald head with the knuckles of one hand. 'If not today...soon.' He paused. 'It's not just the Chinese asking questions; it's our allies.'

'The British?'

'And French.' Hammond waved a hand around as though it would dispel his internal worries. 'What happened up there, Jacob?'

Jacob adjusted the sheets over his stomach and folded his hands. His jaw tightened. 'FUBAR, George. That's what happened.'

Hammond's pale eyebrows rose. 'I'm going to need more than that for the official report, Jake.'

His friend's mild tone pierced Jacob's righteous anger and he deflated with a long sigh. 'We scanned the mothership before we ringed over; there were no life signs.'

'So you assumed the mothership was empty.'

'As I'm sure Jack and the others have already told you.' Jacob muttered. He caught the hint of reproach in Hammond's eyes and flushed. 'The three Jaffa must have been in a very deep state of kel no reem; the sensors weren't able to pick them up.'

'So you ringed over...' Hammond prompted.

'We went to the peltak; I started on the controls there, Sam and Davis headed to the computer core; Jack and Friesen went to check out the engines.' Jacob recited. 'Sam and Davis needed help getting through a sealed door; Jack went to help them and sent Friesen back to the peltak. From what we can tell, Friesen took an unauthorised side trip to the shield generators on his way back and ran into the Jaffa.' He stopped. 'Jack couldn't have known, George.'

Hammond nodded slowly.

'When he realised Friesen was missing, Jack went in search of him. He found the body, radioed to warn me but...' Jacob gestured with a hand at his wounded shoulder. 'I was taken by surprise from behind.'

'You're lucky they didn't kill you.' Hammond agreed, leaning forward in the chair.

'I think they believed they had.' Jacob said dryly. 'They put us into the descent and shot up the controls before they ringed over to the cargo ship. Anyway, the next thing I know, Sam is helping me to my feet and we're headed for Earth.' He rested back against the pillows. 'I should have considered the possibility of Jaffa being on board.'

'From everything I've heard you were all proceeding with caution, Jake.' Hammond countered.

'Things didn't add up.' Jacob argued. 'I should have known if the self-destruct hadn't worked, Anubis would have had another plan to ensure his mothership didn't fall into enemy hands.'

'It was an unusual situation.' Hammond soothed. 'I don't think anyone could have anticipated Thor being in control of the ship.' He pulled a face. 'I've sent a team to contact the Asgard so I'm sure they'll be in touch soon to take custody of Thor.'

Jacob grimaced. 'I'm still not sure how Sam worked it out.'

'She's good.' Hammond said proudly.

Jacob stilled. It was the opening he wanted. 'She almost died, George.'

'I know it got close at the end there,' Hammond began.

'No.' Jacob shook his head. 'Before that.'

Hammond's blue eyes narrowed on him. 'You mean when she was trapped with the Colonel in the corridor.'

'They almost drowned.' Jacob said forcefully.

'But they didn't.'

Hammond's calm acceptance infuriated Jacob in a way he couldn't explain. 'No thanks to me.'

Hammond regarded him for a long moment. 'Jake, sometimes you just can't do anything; you know that.'

'I know that,' Jacob agreed, 'and I know she was counting on me to save her.' He shifted under the covers. 'I think we should reconsider Sam and I participating in the same missions.'

'You can't be serious.' Hammond said, rearing back in his chair as though Jacob had punched him.

'I am.' Jacob said determinedly, ignoring Selmak's silent anger. 'You and I both know that in normal circumstances a father and a daughter would not be assigned to the same missions.'

'These are far from normal circumstances, Jacob.' Hammond retorted. His fingers thrummed on the arm of the chair giving away his internal discomfort. He took a deep breath. 'Look, I understand that you had a scare today...'

'My kid almost died. Twice!' Jacob stated fiercely. 'And I couldn't do anything to help her either time. I had to rely on some wet behind the ears alien to save her the second time!' He glared at Hammond. 'What were you thinking agreeing to his inclusion on SG1?'

'The decision on Jonas Quinn is not subject to debate, Jacob,' Hammond snapped back, 'and is beside the point.'

'You're right.' Jacob agreed strongly. 'The point is that I will not participate in any further missions if Sam is assigned.'

Hammond stared at him. 'You're serious about this?'

'I've never been more serious about anything.' Jacob replied.

Hammond wet his lips and folded his hands over his stomach. 'Jacob, you're Earth's liaison to the Tok'ra; Sam serves on SG1. This would seriously impact our ability to perform joint missions.'

'There are other teams than SG1.' Jacob pointed out.

'But not with the same skills or experience in dealing with the Tok'ra nor with what's out there.' Hammond sighed. 'If you persist with this, you could endanger Sam's position on SG1. There would be questions about her status if her continued presence on the team was seen to be disruptive to a valued ally.'

'Maybe it would be for the best.' Jacob said defensively. 'She's a brilliant scientist. She shouldn't be on a frontline team.'

'She's also a brilliant officer with a brilliant career ahead of her.' Hammond shot back. 'You can't seriously mean what you've just said.'

They glared at each other.

Hammond's lips firmed. 'I'd like to speak with Selmak.'

Jacob's lips twisted but his head dipped as the symbiote took control. 'General Hammond.'

'Selmak.' Hammond nodded respectfully in greeting. 'Thank you for talking with me.'

'It's a pleasure.' Selmak assured him. 'And I want you to know that I do not agree with Jacob's words.'

'Then this isn't a request from the Tok'ra?' Hammond clarified.

'It is not.' Selmak raised Jacob's chin. 'I very much enjoy working with Samantha. I believe her skills and experience are vital to our ongoing fight against the Goa'uld, both in the laboratory and in the field.'

'I see.'

Selmak sighed. 'I believe it may be best to allow Jacob time to rest and heal, General, before any final decisions are made.'

Hammond stood up. 'I'll agree to that suggestion.' He left before Jacob resumed control.

_You had no right telling him to leave_, Jacob complained, shifting to ease his aching shoulder.

_Rest, Jacob_, Selmak insisted.

_I won't change my mind_, Jacob thought stubbornly.

Selmak sighed. _Perhaps not but it would be better to focus our efforts on healing._

Jacob couldn't argue with that. He closed his eyes. He wasn't going to change his mind; the decision was made as far as he was concerned – no matter what anyone else had to say about it.

'Hi.'

His eyes flew open and took in the young man standing beside him. 'Daniel.'

He couldn't do anything but stare at him. The last time he had seen Sam's team-mate, he had been a glowing energy being and before that Daniel had been wrapped in bandages like a mummy as his body succumbed to the radiation poisoning. The man standing at his bedside looked vibrant and alive, dressed very much as Daniel had always dressed; with the blue BDU shirt open over a black t-shirt and matching BDU pants. The faint glow around his body gave away Daniel's new nature.

'Yes, I'm really here.' Daniel replied to Jacob's silent question. 'And no,' he smiled, 'I'm not back.'

'Sam misses you.' Jacob said gruffly, trying to regain his balance.

'I miss her.' Daniel replied simply. 'I miss them all.'

'But you're not back?' Jacob checked.

'No,' Daniel shook his head and folded his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall, 'I'm not really supposed to be here.'

'So this is...'

'Just a visit.' Daniel shrugged. 'I just wanted to thank you for your efforts when I, uh, was dying and check how you were.'

'I didn't really do much.' Jacob said warily. 'You stopped me.'

'I couldn't have done it without you.' Daniel replied. 'The healing you provided gave me the strength to Ascend.' He motioned at Jacob's shoulder. 'You took quite a hit on the ship.'

Jacob stared at him. 'You were there?'

'Briefly.' Daniel admitted. He looked at Jacob. 'So, you've decided you and Sam shouldn't be on the same missions?'

Jacob's lips firmed. 'It's for the best.'

'I'm sure you're right.' Daniel agreed seriously. 'I mean, if Thor hadn't intervened and Sam had drowned, that would have been a very hard thing for you to live through; knowing your daughter was drowning and that was nothing you could do to save her.'

'It was you.' Jacob blurted out accusingly. He pointed at him. 'You saved them.'

'Nope!' Daniel shook his head and smiled tightly. 'Wasn't me. Not allowed.'

'So, it was Thor.' Jacob sighed.

'Actually it was you and Thor.' Daniel corrected. 'Thor wasn't aware that there was an issue until you alerted him with your attempts to access the system and get the door open.'

Jacob looked at him in surprise.

'Of course, if you hadn't been there...' Daniel let his voice trail away.

'You're just saying this so I'll change my mind.' Jacob countered.

'Nope. I told you I'm not allowed to interfere.' Daniel claimed. 'But I know I walked away from SG1, Jacob. I can't help them now and, believe me, it's not easy to sit on the sidelines and know you truly can't do anything to save the people you care about. You say it would be better for you and Sam if you didn't serve together but how do you know? If you're not there the next time she's in trouble and she dies, will you be able to live with that?'

A door slammed further down the corridor wrenching Jacob's attention from Daniel momentarily. He looked back and the space beside him was empty.

Jacob blinked. Daniel had been right there – hadn't he? He raised a hand to his forehead. Maybe he was losing his mind.

_Then we are losing it together_; Selmak sounded shaken.

_Did we imagine him?_ Jacob wondered.

_I don't think so,_ Selmak said. _He must have really felt very strongly that you needed to hear what he had to say to have returned._

He considered Daniel's message, of how Jacob _had_ helped to save his daughter and the warning of how he would feel if Sam was in trouble and he wasn't there. He considered how he felt when he heard about how Sam had been injured or when SG1 had gone missing and he'd had to drum his fingers and simply wait for news. Wasn't that more frustrating? Wasn't it better that he was there with her than not there at all?

_Now I know how Ebenezer Scrooge felt_, Jacob said with an exasperated sigh. Perhaps he'd missed out on the Ghost of the Past and the Future but he knew only too well how his relationship with his kids had suffered after Kathy's death and he could guess at the future if he pushed for him and Sam not to be assigned to the same missions. Was he making the same error again?

_We need rest_, Selmak suggested mildly, offering no opinion but then he already knew her thoughts.

Jacob acquiesced and closed his eyes again. Maybe he had been wrong...maybe...

o-O-o

Jack picked up his tray of food and made to follow Teal'c. His steps slowed as he realised the Jaffa was headed for a table already occupied by Jonas and Nyan, the Bedrosian archaeologist they had rescued some years before. It was stupid but he hadn't considered eating with his new team-mate and, in truth, had been looking forward to a quiet meal with only Teal'c. Jack's jaw firmed as he picked his pace back up and slid into a chair next to Nyan only a heartbeat behind Teal'c sitting down on the opposite side of the table next to Jonas. Part of Jack wanted to choose another table. Some of the SG team leaders didn't eat with their teams to maintain a proper distance but Jack had never seen the point. SG1 had always eaten together, Jack reminded himself, and Jonas was part of SG1.

He gave a brisk nod to the Kelownan, waved a greeting to Nyan with his fork and shovelled food in his mouth to prevent the need to engage in conversation. He tuned out Jonas's update to Nyan on the events of the mission. They'd lived through it once and talked the whole thing to death at the debriefing; he still had his report to write up and he figured three times was more than enough to keep going over the debacle.

He stuffed another lump of chicken in his mouth and chewed. It wasn't as though he was unused to missions going South; they invariably did more times than not. It was the nature of the job. Exploring space and unusual planets in the hopes of fighting an advanced alien enemy was risky and dangerous but he couldn't help think that the outcome of the last mission had been avoidable; that Friesen's death had been avoidable. Maybe if he'd escorted Friesen back to the peltak personally; maybe if he just acquiesced to the scientist's request in the first place; maybe if the sky turned yellow and pink elephants flew by...he couldn't second guess his decisions, Jack thought firmly.

What had happened had happened. He wasn't thrilled their newfound mothership had ended up at the bottom of the ocean but they had rescued Thor and come out of it alive; that had to count for something. His brown eyes flitted to Jonas who was smiling broadly at Nyan and gesturing with a banana.

The Kelownan was undoubtedly the reason why SG1 had made it off the mothership. It had been his action in rerouting the power that had enabled Carter to get the force-shield in place to open the doors to the glider bay. She had credited Jonas with the success during the debriefing. Jack grimaced as he poked at his chicken with a green bean. It wasn't that Jack didn't appreciate the rescue; he did. Jonas had come through for them and if nothing else, it had validated Jack's decision to assign him to the team. It was a good start but Jonas still had a lot to prove in Jack's eyes.

He squelched his mashed potatoes into a puddle of gravy before scooping them up with his fork. It wasn't about Daniel, Jack thought defensively. Maybe Jonas had been present when Daniel leaped into save the Kelownans and been fatally injured but ultimately Daniel had been the one to decide to Ascend, to leave them. It wasn't Jonas's fault and Jack had accepted that much; Jonas wouldn't have been on the team at all if he hadn't.

And it wasn't that Jonas was a scientist. Jack's opinion of the majority hadn't particularly changed especially when he had guys like Friesen living up to his worst impressions but he'd worked too closely with Daniel and Carter not to understand that a good scientist could make the difference between life and death. If Jack hadn't considered Jonas was good at his work, that he had skills that would be an asset to the team, he wouldn't have assigned him.

The problem was that Jack wasn't entirely sure _why_ he had assigned him. While he valued their opinions, neither Teal'c's endorsement nor Carter's had really moved him from his initial thought that Jonas wasn't field material. Jonas's own passionate plea though...he had sounded so much like Daniel. Jack grimaced. Maybe too much like Daniel. Jonas was desperate to make a difference; Daniel had been desperate to make a difference. It worried Jack a little that he might have made subconsciously been trying to make it up to Daniel by giving Jonas an opportunity to succeed at his wish. It worried him more that Jonas may have assumed a mantle of self-sacrifice similar to Daniel's; the Kelownan had risked his life to save theirs on the ship.

Maybe he was just over-thinking it all, Jack thought morosely. Maybe the truth was he was uncomfortable with his decision because he was just uncomfortable with Jonas. He had about as much in common with the kid as he did with...with the strange lady who lived down the street with a horde of cats.

It was different with Teal'c. Despite their differences, they had their shared backgrounds in warfare as common ground. And he and Carter always had their Air Force training to fall back on as a shared reference point just as he and Daniel had always had Abydos and later, all of the experiences of serving together in SG1. But he and Jonas had nothing at all in common. That was the problem, Jack thought scowling at his plate.

'Not good, Colonel?'

Jonas's question had Jack's head snapping up and he belatedly realised Nyan had left without him noticing.

Jack didn't bother to answer and gestured at Jonas's clean plate instead. 'You were hungry?'

'It was lamb curry.' Jonas beamed. 'My first time.'

Irritation skirted along Jack's nerves. He pulled a face and looked over at Teal'c who had made a substantial dent in the large stack of food he had gathered. 'What about you?'

'I have consumed lamb curry on many occasions, O'Neill.'

Jack opened his mouth to explain and stopped at the glint of amusement in Teal'c's dark gaze. He pointed a finger at the Jaffa. 'Funny.'

Jonas frowned and peered at the Jaffa. 'It was a joke? How can you tell?'

Jack shot him a look. God save him from aliens, he thought tiredly.

The base alarms sounded.

Jack's eyes widened. He wasn't convinced it was an answer from God to his plea but he'd take it anyway. He got to his feet, abandoning the dessert in favour of heading to the gate room, aware that Teal'c and Jonas followed him through the maze of corridors and stairwells.

'What have we got?' Jack asked as he entered the control room. He gave Sam a brief nod, unsurprised that she had beaten them there and was situated at a console.

'Incoming wormhole,' declared Walter Harriman. 'Iris will not respond. Computer controls are offline.'

'Major.' Hammond looked toward Sam.

'We've seen this before, sir...' she waved at the blue horizon rather than continue her explanation as an Asgard stepped through and onto the metal ramp.

Hammond abandoned his position and raced down the stairs to the gate room; SG1 behind him.

'Heimdall.' Sam greeted the Asgard scientist with a warm smile as the wormhole disappeared. 'It's good to see you again.'

'It is good to see you again, Major Carter.' Heimdall acknowledged cheerfully. 'I believe you have managed to rescue Thor's consciousness?'

'Yes.' Hammond signalled toward an Airman who ran off to collect the computer panel that housed the Supreme Commander of the Asgard fleet that Sam had removed from the mothership.

'So, you'll be able to restore Thor now?' Sam pressed.

'It is unlikely that we will be able to transfer his consciousness into the body of Thor in our care.' Heimdall admitted. 'We will however be able to clone another body for him that should suffice.'

'A new body, huh?' Jack rocked back on his heels as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. 'Cool.'

'Way cool.' Jonas said softly under his breath. Jack caught the words anyway and had to agree with his team-mate.

'Here we are.' Hammond took the panel from Sergeant Siler and handed it with an air of ceremony to the Asgard.

'We thank you for your diligence in rescuing Thor.' Heimdall pressed a device on the inside of a thin wrist and a wormhole appeared in the centre of the Stargate.

'Wow.' Jonas said, his eyes widening.

'I'm afraid I cannot stay. It is imperative I get Thor back to our galaxy.' Heimdall said regretfully, the wide dark eyes blinking sadly.

'We understand.' Hammond said.

'Good luck.' Jack added as Heimdall turned to leave. They watched as the small figure disappeared back into the blue. 'Well, that was...' he struggled to find a good description, 'as enlightening as always.'

Sam ducked her head to hide a smile. Jack felt his own lips twitch happily and he let his eyes drift over Sam's delicate features; her short spiky blonde hair. They'd had a close call on the ship when they'd almost drowned. They'd been swallowing water and not air when Thor had finally gotten off his computerised butt to save them. He remembered the overwhelming rush of relief as the water emptied and how he'd realised as he and Carter sank back to the bottom that he had been holding onto her. He could have justified it by claiming she had been struggling which was true enough but Jack knew he'd reached out because it had been Carter, not for any other reason. Almost two years after declaring their mutual inappropriate feelings for each other, and a year after insisting they try to put those feelings behind them, he still found himself caring about her more than he should.

'Colonel.' Hammond said sharply, dragging Jack's attention back to the present. 'I need five minutes of your time.'

Jack nodded and gestured for the team to leave without him as he followed his CO back up the stairs to the General's office. Hammond closed the door providing them with privacy and Jack assumed an 'at ease' pose in front of the desk.

'Firstly, I wanted to inform you that Colonel Chekov will be arriving with the new Russian team at oh-eight-hundred tomorrow.' Hammond said briskly, standing behind his desk and resting his fingertips on the polished surface. 'SG1 will perform their orientation.'

Jack opened his mouth to protest.

'Denied.' Hammond said without waiting to hear the request for someone else to do it. 'This was your idea, Jack, and it would probably help to build some bridges with the Colonel if you could show a little willing to meet them half-way.'

'Between Russia and Colorado, sir? Because that would be...' Jack allowed his voice to trail away at Hammond's pointed look. 'Yes, sir.'

'I also wanted to confirm that you're satisfied with Mr Quinn's performance after his first mission with you and won't be requesting a transfer?' Hammond probed meaningfully.

SG1 had been through several recruits since Daniel's death and Jack knew his CO was at the limits of his patience.

'Jonas stays on SG1.' Jack stated without expanding on his decision.

'I seem to recall you telling me once in this very office that a person tends to grow on you once they save your life.' Hammond commented.

Jack pressed his lips together to prevent the smile from appearing. He remembered he'd told Hammond that during their first meeting when they'd spoken about Daniel. 'He saved our lives but there's still some room for improvement.' He commented dryly.

Hammond nodded. 'I'm sure there is. One more thing, Colonel...'

Jack watched curiously as a swarm of emotions filled the General's portly face before Hammond sat down abruptly.

'Take a seat, Jack.'

'This can't be good.' Jack commented and he acquiesced and pulled up a chair.

'No.' Hammond gave a short laugh.

He fell silent and Jack could see that the older man was struggling to say whatever it was he needed to say. Jack squirmed in the chair but held his silence.

'I visited with Jacob earlier.' Hammond said eventually.

'And?' Jack prompted.

'And he indicated that he would no longer participate in missions if Major Carter was also assigned.'

Jack's eyebrows shot up. 'You're kidding!' He took in Hammond's sombre expression. 'Not kidding.'

Hammond lifted a hand from his desk. 'I think it's a reaction to what happened on the ship when Jacob was unable to save you and the Major.' He pursed his lips. 'However, I don't need to explain to you the ramifications if he persists in enforcing this ultimatum.'

'No, sir.' Jack said angrily. How could Jacob suggest something that would clearly harm Carter's position and her future career?

'Jack,' Hammond leaned forward, 'in his own way, I think Jacob sees this as protecting Sam from harm and, as a father, I can appreciate his view.'

'He's protecting himself.' Jack retorted without thinking.

'Be that as it may,' Hammond said softly, 'he's right that in normal circumstances he and Sam would never be assigned to the same mission for the very reasons why he wants them not to be in future. They're too close; their decisions can be influenced by their relationship; the fallout if one of them were to be injured or killed and the other in a position to assume blame or responsibility...it doesn't bear thinking about.'

'I understand that, sir.' Jack replied quietly, every muscle in his body tensing. He knew all about feeling responsible for a child's death and he knew all about feeling responsible for Carter's.

'However, I'm convinced that both of their continued efforts are required going forward if we're to have the best chance of winning against the Goa'uld.' Hammond said. 'I know deep down Jacob knows it too. He's too good a tactician to believe otherwise.' He held Jack's gaze. 'I think he just needs to hear it from someone who understands.'

Jack grimaced and didn't bother trying to hide it.

'Preferably,' Hammond added, 'before the Major gets wind of it.'

Jack could imagine her reaction and it wasn't pretty. He knew Carter and her Dad had had their problems in the past but since Jacob had become part of the programme, they'd seemed to work through most of their issues. Jacob's proposal had the potential to set their relationship back years and, more importantly, to hurt Carter hugely at a time when she was already hurting over Daniel. His protectiveness rose up swiftly. He got to his feet. 'Understood, sir.'

Hammond waved his dismissal and Jack headed out. He paused for a moment in the corridor and took a breath. He had no idea what he was going to say to Jacob; how he was going to say what was needed without revealing too much of his own feelings for Carter. He somehow didn't think 'suck it up, Jacob, because if I can love her and serve with her, you sure as hell can' would go down very well.

He made for the elevator. This was the reason they needed Daniel, Jack thought as he punched the call button. Daniel would have known what to say; hell, Daniel probably would have known that Jacob was going to react badly and would have already talked Jacob out of rash decisions and harebrained ideas. He stepped into the elevator and chose his floor.

The ride was too short and too swift. It deposited him on the infirmary floor without regard for the fact that he still had to work out what to say. He made his way to Jacob's room reluctantly. He rapped on the doorframe sharply and pushed on the partially open door at Jacob's call to enter. He nodded at the older man as he closed the door behind him and went to stand at his bedside.

Jacob took one look at his face. 'George sent you I take it?'

'He has some concerns.' Jack began. 'So do I.'

'If you're here to talk me out of it, Jack, forget it.'

'Well, this is going about as well as I expected.' Jack commented dryly. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

'I've already changed my mind.' Jacob explained succinctly.

'Oh.' Jack felt his mouth fall slightly open and snapped it shut again. 'Well. Good. I'll inform General Hammond.' He squirmed under Jacob's amused regard. 'So I'll, uh,' he pointed at the door. He paused when he reached the doorway and turned around.

'Jacob, just so you know; she didn't blame you. Not once. Not when we were swimming; not afterwards.' He waited until Jacob nodded, accepting the truth of Jack's words. Jack opened the door and smiled. 'Me, on the other hand...'

Jacob rolled his eyes and motioned for Jack to leave. He complied with the unspoken request and closed the door behind him.

Why had Jacob changed his mind, Jack wondered; Jacob wasn't the type to back down easily. Jack frowned and shrugged the thought away. Whatever the reason, it was one awkward conversation which had been avoided; always a bonus. He checked his watch; he had to break the news about the Russian orientation to his team, inform Hammond Jacob had come to his senses, but then he was headed home.

o-O-o

Sam glared at the scientist who was gesticulating wildly at her on the monitor through a webcam and tried again to interrupt.

'McKay...'

'...and another thing,' McKay blustered without pausing for breath, 'these equations for the naquadria reactions are all wrong and I...'

'So fix them!' Sam snapped back. 'That's what you're there for!'

The sound of a throat being cleared behind her had her automatically straightening on the stool even as she cast a look over her shoulder and confirmed it was the Colonel. 'I've got to go, McKay.'

'But, but, we haven't even...'

Sam reached out and stabbed the escape button. The connection severed and the monitor went dark. She switched it off for good measure and turned back to her CO, repressing the urge to rub at the pounding in her forehead. 'Sorry, sir.'

He shrugged, dismissing her apology. 'All going well, I take it?' His voice hummed with amusement.

She shot him a look. 'Did you need me for something, sir?' His brown eyes warmed and she almost blushed.

'We're performing orientation for the new Russian team tomorrow, oh-eight-hundred.'

Sam hid her wince. She wasn't convinced having a Russian team assigned to the SGC was a good idea. 'Understood, sir.'

He nodded and hovered.

'Sir?' Sam questioned; she'd expected he would depart. The days when he might have stayed and hung out with her just to keep her company had disappeared ever since he'd made the decision to move on from his feelings for her. She only wished she'd had more success than him in moving forward; she was as hopelessly in love with him as she had always been.

'I checked in with Dad.' Jack leaned against the central bench and picked up a wrench. 'I think he might be a little freaked about us, well, you mostly,' he pointed the wrench at her, 'almost drowning.'

Sam bit her lip in surprise – both that Jack had visited her father and his observation. It had been a close call on the ship. She could remember her panic when they'd been trapped together under the water. He'd kept her afloat as the water drained out. Just a CO helping his team-mate, Sam thought to herself briskly; nothing more. Her mind turned back to her father. She had visited him when he'd first been settled into the infirmary room but he'd brusquely told her he was fine. She'd taken the excuse and run. The mission aside, there was still some tension between them because of his swift departure after Daniel's death. Her fingers worried at the edge of her BDU shirt.

'Just thought you should know.' Jack said mildly, putting the wrench down. 'I have to see Hammond. You'll take care of informing Teal'c and Jonas about the Russians?'

'Yes, sir.' Sam said, relieved he'd changed the subject back to a safe topic.

Jack gave her a half-smile, turned on his heel and left. She watched him until he disappeared from view before allowing her body to slump.

Her Dad was freaked out? It didn't sound like him but then...it had been an unusually close call and if she'd been the one on the controls and he'd been the one trapped...

She slid off the stool and made the short journey to her father's room. She knocked on the closed door and opened it at his call.

Jacob's eyes alighted on her and widened. 'Sam.' He shuffled upwards into a sitting position. 'The nurse went to get me some food.'

Sam made her way to his bedside and stopped. 'I just wanted to check how you were.'

'Better.' Jacob said briskly. 'Selmak's already healed the shoulder and collarbone. A good night's sleep and we'll be fine.'

'So you'll be heading off tomorrow?' Sam asked, unsure how she raised the subject of what had happened on the ship; if she should.

'Actually, I was thinking of hanging around a few days.' Jacob said with a studied casual air that clued Sam in that he wasn't as assured as he sounded.

'You going to see Mark?' She asked instead.

'I thought you and I could spend some time together, kiddo.' Jacob replied quietly.

Sam's eyes widened. 'Dad...'

He held up a hand. 'Just hear me out, Sam. I shouldn't have left you after Daniel died. I should have stuck around then.'

'You had duties.' Sam said, trying to keep the stiffness and accusation out of her voice and knowing she'd failed at both. 'I understood.'

Jacob reached for her hand and she closed the gap, letting her fingers wrap around his. 'Nothing,' he said seriously, 'is more important to me than you. When you almost drowned...well, maybe I just needed to be reminded.'

Sam smiled sadly. The Colonel had been right; her Dad was seriously freaked out. 'It's OK, Dad. Really. I'm fine...'

'You miss Daniel.' Jacob rejoined bluntly.

Her breath caught; tears springing up without warning. The grief could hit her when she least expected it – or wanted it. She looked down to hide the tears from her father.

'Sam.' Jacob gently remonstrated and tugged her toward him. She let him hold her awkwardly for a few moments, accepting the paternal comfort before she eased away and swiped at her eyes.

'Sorry.'

'You're allowed to miss him, Sam.' Jacob reached across and handed her the box of tissues from the nightstand. 'And I'm sure he misses you too.'

'You think so?' Sam blew her nose and rubbed at her damp cheeks.

'I know so.'

Sam looked at him curiously; he sounded so certain. He seemed to shift uneasily under her regard and gestured at her.

'So, what do you say?' Jacob asked. 'Why don't you take a few days and we'll visit Mark together?'

'Sounds good.' Sam admitted. 'I'll need to clear the time with General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill.' She smiled. 'We have orientation with the Russian team tomorrow but I'm sure they don't really need me.'

He nodded understandingly, his own lips curving upwards. 'Glad to be of help.'

A knock on the door had them both turning expectantly only to find a harried looking Walter rather than a nurse with a dinner tray.

'Sorry to disturb you, General.' Walter said formally before his eyes darted urgently to Sam. 'Major, Doctor McKay has called the control room demanding you contact him.'

Sam sighed. 'I'll be right there.'

Walter nodded gratefully and with a nod at the General, departed.

'This McKay the new boyfriend?' Jacob asked curious.

Sam's eyes widened in horror. 'God, no!' She took in her Dad's amusement. 'He's a colleague.' An irritating, pain-in-the-ass colleague, her mind added ruthlessly. One she was beginning to regret recommending to be assigned to the X303 project instead of sending him back to Russia.

'Ah.' Jacob smoothed his covers.

'I don't have a boyfriend.' Sam said firmly. 'I'm focused on my career right now.'

Jacob regarded her with a solemnity that surprised her. 'Work isn't everything, Sam.'

'I know.' Sam attempted a bright smile to hide her confusion. Her father had never pushed her on the personal front. He'd disapproved over various boyfriends when she'd had them and if anything he'd always encouraged her to concentrate on her schooling, on her work. His words were the first time she could ever remember him hinting that she should have a personal life, and she wasn't sure she was up to having that kind of a conversation with him. She gestured at the door. 'I'd better go talk with McKay. I'll come back later.'

Jacob nodded agreeably and waved her away. Sam closed the door behind her and frowned. Weird. The whole conversation had been weird. But good, she added inwardly, feeling the resentment she'd held over her father's absence since Daniel's death dissipate. She shook her head as though to shake away the last remnants. She sighed and headed to the control room. Maybe she'd also make it through her conversation with McKay without wanting to kill the other scientist. Her hand sneaked up to her pounding forehead; or maybe not...

o-O-o

'Colonel!' Jonas dived between the closing doors of the elevator. 'I hoped I'd catch you before you left for the night.' He gave the Colonel a bright smile to cover his nerves and crossed his arms over the folder he held.

Jack tugged on the edges of his leather jacket. 'This about the Russians tomorrow?'

'Tomorrow?' Jonas said blankly, wondering if he'd missed a briefing.

Jack waved a hand at him. 'Carter'll explain it.' He gestured at him. 'So, what's up?'

'I, uh, wanted to talk to you about my report.' Jonas began earnestly. 'On the mission.'

'What about your report?' Jack asked brusquely.

'Well, do you want a full report or just highlights?' Jonas asked eagerly. 'What's considered too much information? What format should I...'

Jack held up a hand and cut off the flow of words. 'You've seen Daniel's, right?'

'Yes.' Jonas agreed.

'Do the same,' Jack said, waving at him, 'only use less words.' His eyes gleamed suddenly as an idea struck. 'Run your draft report by Carter. She can review it before you turn it in.'

'Thank you, Colonel.' Jonas offered an embarrassed smile. 'It's just, it's uh...'

'Your first report?' suggested Jack sarcastically.

Jonas's lips twisted ruefully. He guessed the Colonel was getting a little tired of the 'first' thing and in truth he hadn't really wanted to ask about the report but he couldn't quite get the confidence up to ask about what he really wanted to know; his own performance. He looked up and found his gaze snared by his CO's.

Jack shifted his position and nodded at the younger man. 'You did OK out there.'

Jonas beamed at the praise, pleased beyond words both at the feedback and that the Colonel had evidently understood without him needing to say anything.

'You still have a lot to learn.' Jack cautioned, his brown eyes meeting Jonas's, driving the point home. 'But you did OK.' He waited a beat, turning away as the elevator doors slid open and he stepped out. He looked back with a smirk. 'For your _first_ mission.'

The elevator doors slid shut and Jonas gave a short laugh as he reached forward to choose a floor. It was the first time he could remember the Colonel teasing him. He guessed there was a first time for everything. He shook his head. His first mission was over and he couldn't wait for the next one.


	26. Blending Truths

**Author's Note: **Sam/Jack UST. Jack/Teal'c friendship. Sam/Janet friendship. Teal'c/Jonas friendship. As mentioned in my profile, real life is crazy so sorry for the delay! Hopefully, will be getting back to posting more than one a month soon!

**Frozen Recap:** _Sam is talking with a Doctor Francine Michaels who is stationed at Antarctica investigating the site where the second Stargate was discovered. There is a new discovery. SG1 head to Antarctica with Janet. The discovery is a frozen human several millions old, Michaels has called her Ayiana. Janet notes the tissue cells are intact despite being frozen. They defrost Ayiana who Janet realises is alive. They work to save her as the others watch amazed._

_Ayiana wakes up. Janet reassures Jack that Ayiana is not Goa'uld. Jonas goes to talk with her with Michaels. Woods and Osbourne the other scientists are out on the ice getting more samples. Jack warns them of a storm heading in. Jonas goes back to talk with Ayiana and takes food. Janet notes to Sam that the brain readings that she took of Jack when he had the ancient repository downloaded and the readings taken of Ayiana. Janet theorises that Ayiana is a living Ancient and Sam says that the idea is huge. _

_Michaels collapses and Janet quarantines them. She notes that Ayiana may be carrying a contagion and her healing abilities may be fighting off the illness in her own system. When Osbourne arrives back ill, Teal'c and Jack head out to get Woods. He is hypothermic and dying when they bring him back. Ayiana heals him and collapses. She heals Michaels and Osbourne too but healing exhausts her._

_Sam talks with Janet who notes that the healing weakens her and places Ayiana at risk. Janet orders them all to bed noting they will all have to get along without Ayiana healing them. Ayiana gets around her guard and heals Janet, Jonas and Sam but collapses before she can heal Jack._

_They are transported back to the SGC in quarantine containers. Jack is getting worse. The Tok'ra are going to send someone. Ayiana is seriously ill and dies. Janet tries to revive her but it doesn't work. The Tok'ra Thoran suggests a symbiote on a temporary basis. Kanan has important intelligence that the temporary blending would allow him to communicate. Sam goes into talk with Jack who has been in a coma. Jack initially refuses the symbiote but Sam pleads with him and Jack agrees. They transport him to the Tok'ra. _

**Blending Truths**

Janet Fraiser suppressed the chill that ran down her spine and forced herself to focus on her surroundings. The crystalline structure of the Tok'ra base was alien and cold. She wished she'd argued harder that the Tok'ra should find a way to transport the symbiote through the wormhole to Earth for the required implantation into Colonel O'Neill. Thoran's argument that they had no means of safe transportation given their limited supplies had been hard to argue with especially since Earth was only too aware of Anubis's continued attacks against the Tok'ra. Worse was the harsh truth that the Colonel didn't have the time to wait for something to be constructed. His condition was deteriorating rapidly and the symbiote was the only hope of healing the viral infection that had taken him to death's door.

Janet sighed and looked around again with dissatisfaction. She had gone ahead to the Tok'ra base to ensure everything was set-up to her satisfaction. She knew the Tok'ra had advanced medical know-how but the Colonel was her patient and under her care. Janet didn't really care if the Tok'ra understood that or not.

The stark room was bare of adornments. It lacked soul; lacked comfort; lacked everything it needed to be a place to heal. Perhaps her infirmary was considered the same by some but they did try to ensure their visitors were comfortable.

'Will this suffice?' Garshaw asked quietly behind her. The Tok'ra Councillor sighed. 'I'm afraid we don't have a great deal since the last attack.'

Janet thawed a little. It wasn't the Tok'ra's fault that their supplies had been badly hit just as it wasn't their fault that the production of an anti-viral would take too long and she couldn't heal the Colonel, or that she had failed to heal Ayiana, the Ancient woman who had miraculously healed the rest of them.

'It's fine.' Janet replied evenly. She nodded briskly at the nurse. 'Set-up the equipment over there.' She pointed at the flat slab that she hoped was the sleeping platform. 'Unpack some thermal blankets and a sleeping mat.'

The nurse set about his task with professional efficiency despite Garshaw's grimace.

'Is this really necessary?' Garshaw asked.

'Colonel O'Neill is very weak.' Janet responded mildly. 'I want him to be as comfortable as possible and there is a chance that this won't work.'

'It will work.' Garshaw said confidently.

'I'm still uncertain why we can't try a healing device.' Janet remarked.

'The healing device can only repair damage already done to the body.' Garshaw explained. 'Unfortunately, it will not cure an underlying infection.'

Janet repressed the urge to pull a face. She checked her watch. As though in response to her silent wondering where SG1 were, they walked in and set the precious burden they carried down gently.

Samantha Carter blew out a long breath and nodded at Garshaw. 'It's good to see you again, Garshaw.'

'Major Carter.' Garshaw responded with a short nod. Her eyes shifted to Teal'c who inclined his head before they moved with interest to Jonas Quinn.

Jonas darted a look at Sam crouched by the containment unit that carried the Colonel. Her hand rested over the strong plastic.

Janet realised Sam wasn't going to make the introduction and gestured. 'Garshaw, this is Jonas Quinn. He's a member of SG1 now.'

'Ah, Doctor Jackson's replacement.' Garshaw accepted Jonas's proffered hand and shook it. 'Jacob informed us of your assignment.'

Jonas smiled nervously. 'I'm pleased to meet you.'

Sam looked up at Janet, apparently oblivious to the conversation that had taken place. 'We need to get the Colonel out.'

Janet nodded.

Garshaw cleared her throat. 'Thoran and I will leave you and return presently with the symbiote.'

'Thank you.' Janet said politely. She waited until the Tok'ra had departed before turning back to SG1. 'You'll have to wait outside.' She held up a hand before they could protest. 'Until the implantation, the Colonel remains under quarantine.' Her dark gaze met theirs forcefully. 'We don't know for certain that we won't get reinfected and given the seriousness of this disease I can't risk it. You can see him when we get him situated but only in a biohazard suit.'

Sam nodded reluctantly.

'The Tok'ra have provided a force-shield at the door, Major.' Janet said formally. 'If you could engage it from the other side.'

Sam turned on her heel and walked out. Jonas followed her. Teal'c paused, exchanging a look of worried understanding with Janet before he left. He had been a fellow witness to the confessions his military team-mates had made of caring for each other much more than their working relationship allowed almost two years before. The couple had focused on their professional relationship after the Colonel had been forced to shoot Sam to save the base.

Janet had believed they'd moved on, settling for a friendship as colleagues and team-mates. She was beginning to think she'd been sadly mistaken. Given Sam's reactions in regards to the Colonel's care, Janet was beginning to wonder if all they'd done was hidden a more intimate relationship from everyone. She couldn't imagine them breaking the regulations in such a way but it wasn't unheard of even at the SGC for the 'don't ask, don't tell' rule to be employed by some. If Sam was involved with the Colonel, it wasn't safe for either of them.

Janet shook away her thoughts about the couple. She would worry about whether there was anything inappropriate going on after the Colonel was cured. She hurried into the bulky suit that would protect her and oversaw the transfer of the Colonel from the containment vessel to the makeshift bed.

He barely stirred as the nurses' hooked up a fresh IV and connected him to the various machines. Janet checked his vitals, recording them faithfully on his chart. He was very weak. Janet knew a lesser man would have succumbed to the infection already and she figured his survival had everything to do with Jack's own will to live.

'Hang in there, Colonel.' She said softly as she straightened the blanket around him.

She gave brisk instructions to the nurse who was staying and ushered the two others out into the corridor.

Sam pushed away from the corridor. 'Is he...?'

'He's holding his own.' Janet said quickly. 'But the sooner we do this the better.'

'I will endeavour to find Garshaw.' Teal'c said. He walked away.

Jonas offered to walk the departing nurses back to the rings when Janet dismissed them and she waited until they had gone before she turned back around to Sam. Her friend stared through the invisible force-shield to the man lying across the room.

'Major.' Janet's sharp word had Sam turning back to Janet with a questioning look.

Janet sighed and softened at the blatant worry on Sam's face. 'Why don't you come in with me?'

Sam immediately reached for one of the nurses' discarded suits and Janet helped her into it.

They walked into the room and Janet watched as Sam carefully skirted the makeshift bed and hovered beside the Colonel. Her hand rested millimetres from his arm but didn't touch him.

Janet checked the machines and the latest readings, waving at the nurse to remain on the other side of the room.

'What are we doing?' Sam asked abruptly.

Janet turned to her surprised. 'Major?'

'He doesn't want this, Janet.' Sam responded. Her blue eyes glittered brightly behind the plastic barrier of the suit's facial window.

'He agreed...' Janet began.

'But he doesn't want it.'

'Sam,' Janet moved to stand next to her and placed a hand on Sam's arm, 'if he doesn't get the symbiote he will die.'

'I know that, Janet, but...' Sam stopped and took a breath, her frantic gaze falling to look at him.

Janet's eyes followed Sam's. The Colonel was pale and sweating, his grey hair almost black it was so damp. The fever ravaging his body was high. He was unconscious, barely breathing, his face partially covered by the oxygen mask.

'He's going to hate me for asking him.' Sam said almost too quietly for Janet to hear.

'You think he's going to blame you?' Janet shook her head. 'You're the one who insisted we wake him up so he could choose for himself, Sam. He'll know that.' She squeezed Sam's arm through the suit. 'And this is _his_ decision. He's doing this because he wants to live and because it will be useful.'

Sam hid her face but Janet caught the glimpse of guilt that flickered across the delicate features.

'Sam, do you really think he did it just because you asked him?' Janet asked bluntly.

Sam shook her head; the hazmat suit not allowing much movement. 'No. Of course not.'

Janet flicked a glance across to the nurse. He was busy checking supplies and Janet breathed out slowly. She moved an inch toward Sam. 'Sam, is there a problem here?'

Sam's head jerked up and she frowned at Janet. 'Problem?'

Janet indicated the Colonel and held Sam's eyes firmly. 'A problem like the one you had during the za'tarc incident?'

Sam's colour rose but she glared at her. 'There's no problem,' she insisted angrily, careful to keep her voice low, 'you know he doesn't feel that way about me anymore and how could you think...'

'Then why do you look so guilty?' Janet whispered sharply interrupting her.

Sam's mouth fell open slightly and she turned away. 'I just...I haven't even tried the hand device because of what happened with Daniel and now, the Colonel...what if I could save him without him taking a symbiote?'

'Sam.' Janet sighed and mentally kicked herself. She hadn't even factored in the death of Daniel Jackson into Sam's behaviour but she should have done. Sam had tried to save Daniel and failed. The death had hit SG1 hard; it had hit everyone who knew Daniel hard. It was no wonder some of Sam's residual guilt was bleeding over into the situation with the Colonel. She took another step toward Sam. 'Sam, listen to me. I talked with Garshaw as soon as we arrived and asked about the hand device.'

Sam's eyes snapped back to Janet.

'The hand device would help heal some of the physical damage caused to his body from the fever and infection but it wouldn't stop the infection itself.' Janet explained. She saw Sam's gaze falter with relief as her words impacted. 'The symbiote truly is his only answer.'

Sam blinked back tears and nodded quickly. 'OK.'

Janet patted her hand and moved away to check the equipment again. Where was Teal'c, she wondered. As though in answer to her question, the Jaffa appeared on the other side of the force-shield with Jonas. They weren't alone. They stepped back to allow Garshaw and Thoran to enter the room with two other Tok'ra who wheeled a stasis chamber holding the symbiote. As soon as they were in, the force-shield reactivated keeping Teal'c and Jonas on the other side.

Janet shuddered at the sight of the writhing Tok'ra symbiote but was careful to hide her reaction from their allies.

'The implantation procedure is very delicate.' Garshaw began. 'I'd prefer it if there were as few in the room as possible.'

Janet motioned for the nurse to leave. She knew Sam wouldn't leave and she equally had no intention of moving.

Garshaw dismissed the two Tok'ra by the stasis chamber and gestured at the dark-skinned Tok'ra beside her. 'Thoran will stay to speak with Kanan as soon as it is done. He will explain the terms of the blending.' She paused. 'It would be good if the Colonel was awake.'

'I agree.' Janet said evenly. The implantation would be terrifying enough without the Colonel being unaware of it happening and receiving the sudden shock of a symbiote in his head. She loaded up a syringe with a shot to wake him and administered it.

The Colonel stirred listlessly on the bed.

'Colonel.' Janet leaned over into his eye-line. 'Can you hear me?' She gently removed his oxygen mask as his eyes flickered open.

'Doc?' Jack inquired weakly.

'That's right.' Janet said firmly. 'We're ready to do the implantation, Colonel. Do you understand me?'

Jack nodded faintly in response. He lifted a hand from the bed. 'Carter?'

Janet moved away and Sam swiftly took her place. 'Sir?'

His dark unfocused eyes searched hers as though asking a question.

Sam seemed to understand him. 'I'll be right here, sir.'

Jack's eyes flickered to the stasis chamber and he grimaced. 'I'm ready.'

Garshaw moved to stand beside the bed. 'Colonel, the symbiote will enter through your mouth.'

Jack closed his eyes and opened his mouth a bare fraction.

Garshaw gestured at Thoran who opened the chamber and drew out the symbiote. It wrapped itself around Thoran's arm willingly as he carried it. Thoran laid it gently on the Colonel's naked chest and it sprang with surprisingly agility into the small opening Jack had made.

The Colonel's eyes opened wide as the symbiote wiggled its way inside him. He reached for Sam's hand and she offered it immediately. Janet saw Sam blanch at the Colonel's tight grip but the Major didn't let go.

Janet put another hand on his rigid shoulder. 'Easy, Colonel.'

The symbiote finally disappeared and Jack slumped back on the bed with a hoarse groan. Sam rubbed her gloved thumb over his knuckles comfortingly.

Jack's eyes flashed suddenly and he turned his head sharply. 'Garshaw; Thoran. What is the meaning of this? The host is not willing. He is distressed at my presence.'

'Be at peace, Kanan.' Thoran soothed urgently. 'The host is Colonel O'Neill. He has agreed to be a temporary host to allow you to impart the intelligence gained on your last mission. In return, he will receive your healing abilities.'

'A temporary arrangement is dangerous to us both.' Kanan observed. 'And he is very weak. It will take me time to heal him before we will be strong enough for me to relay the intelligence. It is taking all my strength to talk with you now.'

'Thoran assured us that you would agree to this.' Sam said. 'It's the only reason why the Colonel agreed.'

Kanan frowned. 'Then it seems I have no choice. I can keep the Colonel's consciousness suppressed during our time together. It will be as though he is in a deep sleep. He will learn very little of me and I of him.'

'I think that would be acceptable. If I could speak with the Colonel?' Sam answered.

Kanan acquiesced. He closed his eyes and a moment later, they opened again.

'Sir?' Sam asked urgently.

'It's me, Carter.' Jack's voice was edged with panic. Janet noticed the way his fingers tightened on Sam's unconsciously.

'Did you...'

'I got the gist.' Jack said quickly. 'I effectively go to sleep, right?'

'Right, sir.' Sam agreed.

Jack nodded. 'OK. Let's get on with it.'

'Yes, sir.'

His eyes flashed again, signalling the symbiote taking control again. He removed his hand from Sam's and gestured at the Tok'ra. 'I will remain at rest until this body is healed completely.'

'Then we will leave you to your rest.' Garshaw said softly. 'One of us will check on you though to monitor your condition. This disease is an unknown quantity.'

Kanan nodded. 'Very well.' He closed his eyes.

Sam straightened. 'I'll stay with him.'

Thoran opened his mouth to protest.

'Thank you.' Garshaw said simply. She motioned for the rest of them to leave and Janet gave Sam an encouraging look as she followed the Tok'ra out.

'Is it, uh...' Jonas gestured awkwardly towards the room.

'The symbiote is in the Colonel.' Janet confirmed. 'Now all we can do is wait and see.' She sighed as she struggled out of the suit and smiled a thank you as Jonas leaped forward to assist her. 'The Major's taking first watch.'

Teal'c frowned heavily, remaining silent.

Janet glanced back into the room through the force-shield. Sam sat beside the SG1 leader; watching over him. Janet frowned. She hoped their desperate measure worked because she didn't want to imagine the impact to SG1 or to her friend if they lost Jack O'Neill so soon after losing Daniel.

o-O-o

_Stop fighting me._

The order had just enough arrogance that Jack automatically resisted.

_Fool, _the symbiote muttered.

_Snake, _Jack rejoined.

There was a pause as though the symbiote had never experienced someone talking back to it in such a way.

Jack waited anxiously for it to continue pushing him into unconsciousness but it paused as though unsure.

_I am saving your life. _It had modified its tone.

_I'm saving yours, _Jack shot back.

The symbiote's sigh whispered mentally through Jack's head. The pressure of the initial invasion had receded and Jack was grateful for that. The first few moments when the symbiote had tried to force a blending only to realise Jack wasn't too willing to participate had been torture.

_You save my life only temporarily,_ the symbiote pointed out, _and this would go better for you if you let me place you in a state of deep sleep as we agreed._

_I know, _Jack thought back irritated. He had agreed only...only when he'd felt the inextricable slide towards oblivion his instincts had kicked in and he'd fought to remain conscious. The fear that he would wake and be a hostage in his own body was too high.

_Why do you do this,_ the symbiote asked.

Jack took a steadying breath. _You have important information. You need to communicate it. I get to live._

There was a moment of silence.

_I almost believe you mean that,_ the symbiote said eventually, _but I feel that there is also another reason you have not even admitted to yourself._

The image of Carter leaning over him, the plea for him to accept the Tok'ra's offer shining from her eyes flashed through his mind. She was hurting so much because of Daniel's death; he couldn't leave her...

_Keep. Out. Of. My. Head._ Jack practically yelled it at the snake.

_Then sleep, O'Neill_, the symbiote argued forcefully. _It is the only way to prevent the exchange of information between us. I promise you, I will leave you when my information is relayed and you are well._

Jack could _feel_ the honesty in the symbiote's words in a way that he had never thought possible; it was truly sincere. It would leave him; it wouldn't stay with someone so unwilling even at the cost of its own life. Jack felt his own fear seep away and guilt rise in its place. He pushed it away and focused on relaxing. The symbiote was right. The less they exchanged the better. The pull toward sleep was seductive.

He could feel movement beside him; a gloved hand on his arm.

Carter.

She had stayed with him as she had promised. He didn't want to think about Carter; not with the snake in his head. He didn't want to acknowledge that it had helped having her with him; didn't want to acknowledge the guilt he felt knowing he'd walked out on her, left her behind, when she'd gone through the same experience with Jolinar. Stop thinking about it, Jack, he commanded himself. The less the snake knew the better...

The darkness beckoned and with a weary sigh he slipped into it.

o-O-o

Sam paced outside the room. She glanced through the force-shield. Jack, or rather Kanan, sat on the edge of the sleeping platform while Janet examined him with Thoran and Garshaw hovering nearby. The two days since they had arrived at the Tok'ra base had been tiring as they waited to see whether Kanan would be able to heal Jack. She had stayed by Jack's side only relinquishing her place when ordered to by Janet to sleep or eat. She didn't really care what anyone made of it. She had promised the Colonel she would stay with him and she took the promise seriously.

Not to mention she had spent the entire two days worried that the symbiote wouldn't be able to save him. The strength of the infection had taken them all by surprise and he had been so ill. She'd been so scared that she was going to lose Jack. Sam paused in her pacing and rubbed a hand over her face as though to rub away the thought.

She would have liked to have blamed the whole thing on Daniel. His Ascension had hurt Sam deeply and she knew because of that she couldn't bear the idea of losing another one of her team-mates. But she also knew that her fear had been so much worse because it was the Colonel; Jack.

Sam shook her head and stared at the crystalline ceiling. She wasn't meant to care about her CO; to love him as much as she did. She wasn't meant to feel the way she did especially given that he no longer felt the same way about her. It didn't matter. She couldn't stop herself from worrying that she would lose someone else she loved like she had lost so many others.

Then there was the guilt that continued to eat away at her: she had asked him to take the symbiote.

'_Do you really think he did it just because you asked him?'_

Janet's words resounded in Sam's head. The General had quietly suggested that given her strong feeling that the Colonel should make the decision himself, she should be the one to ask him and Sam hadn't been able to say no. Sam honestly believed that Jack hadn't agreed just because she had asked. His initial response had been exactly what she had thought it would be; _'Over my dead body.'_ She snorted a little remembering it.

'_Sir. Please.'_

_Please don't leave me._

Her words and the message behind them echoed in her head. She closed her eyes briefly before opening them again. It hadn't been her plea that had convinced him. Jack embodied the concept of putting duty before self; before feeling feelings. He had walked away from her once when she'd pleaded with him to stay because he had believed it was a Goa'uld trick and he had shot her to save the base when she knew he had loved her. Even if Jack had some remnants of what he had felt for her, Sam couldn't believe that it had swayed him although she acknowledged there was a part of her, a deeply hidden part of her that wished it had, wished she was _that_ important to him.

Sam slumped against the wall and checked her watch. How long did it take, she thought grumpily.

'Major Carter.'

Teal'c's voice behind her had her turning sharply. It always surprised her how the Jaffa was able to move so stealthily.

'Teal'c.' She acknowledged him with a small smile.

'Is there any news of O'Neill?' Teal'c asked, clasping his hands behind his back.

'Kanan woke up.' Sam informed him. 'Janet's examining the Colonel to confirm the infection is gone.'

Teal'c inclined his head.

'Where's Jonas?' Sam asked, noting the Kelownan's absence.

'He is conversing with some of the Tok'ra.' Teal'c informed her. 'He has managed to convince some to discuss the early years of the Tok'ra history with him.'

'Good.' Sam nodded. It was good that Jonas was keeping himself occupied. She had a feeling the Colonel wouldn't appreciate Jonas being around too much while he was indisposed. She was aware that the relationship between the SG1 team leader and their newest recruit was embryonic at best and constrained by the incident on Kelowna that had led to the need to replace Daniel.

'You should rest, Major Carter.' Teal'c said softly.

'We'll be home soon.' Sam deflected. 'I'll rest then.' She sighed and leaned back against the wall. 'I just wish my Dad was here.'

'Garshaw indicated that his assignment was of the utmost importance.' Teal'c replied.

'I know. I just...' Sam sighed again. What was she doing? She wasn't a small child who needed the constant reassurance of her father. She was a military officer, damn it, and she would act like it. She straightened.

The force-shield dropped and Janet strode out without the protective suit.

'Does...' Sam began.

'He's clear.' Janet confirmed. She pushed a stray strand of hair back from her face. 'The symbiote has healed him.'

Sam felt the tension drain from her body and it was only the force of her will that kept her upright. 'That's good.' Her eyes caught the grimace on Janet's face. 'Right?'

'They're claiming it will take more than a few days for Kanan to impart all his knowledge on his last mission.' Janet said. Her lips thinned. 'We've been asked to leave.'

Sam stared at her. 'That can't be right.' She headed into the room without waiting for a reply and oblivious to Janet and Teal'c following her. Sam almost halted at the sight of Jack.

He sat on the bed, the sheet over his legs with his muscular chest exposed but it was the expression on his face that caught her off guard. He looked at her coldly without the usual familiar affection of his friendship warming his brown eyes. It wasn't Jack; wasn't the Colonel, Sam realised; it was Kanan. She pulled her attention away from him and focused instead on Garshaw.

'Garshaw, Doctor Fraiser informs me that you've requested we leave while Kanan debriefs?'

'Yes.'

'That wasn't part of our agreement.' Sam said briskly. 'We expected the Colonel would return with us once he was healed and the debrief would happen at the SGC.'

Thoran bristled. 'We did not agree to that.'

Janet held his gaze. 'The Colonel expected to return home once he was healed.'

'Samantha,' Garshaw said quickly before Thoran could reply, 'perhaps there has been some misunderstanding.'

'I don't think so.' Sam said, backing up Janet. She looked at the Tok'ra Councillor evenly. 'The Colonel does not wish to be a host. The agreement was that it would only be a temporary situation.'

'And we will abide by that.' Garshaw said swiftly. 'But until Kanan was able to speak with us we had no idea how long it would take for him to inform us of his mission and you must see that it would be easier for us to do the debrief here.'

Sam grimaced. If the Colonel was present he would have commented that it was so like the Tok'ra to keep something important from them. 'That wasn't made clear to us.'

Garshaw shot Thoran a look before she turned back to Sam. 'That is unfortunate but it is the truth.'

'The Colonel believed that he would only endure this for a short time.' Sam said, determined not to let the matter drop.

'Endure?' Thoran barked. 'Is this how you speak of blending?'

Sam bit her lip to prevent herself from speaking and saying something she would regret.

Garshaw placed a restraining hand on Thoran's arm. 'I would hope Jacob's experience with Selmak would have shown you that blending is a wonderful experience.'

Sam's chin went up. 'My father enjoys his blending very much but he was a willing host. I'm all too aware of how much of an endurance it is when you're not.'

'Your own experience with Jolinar was against all our beliefs, Samantha, and I promise you; Colonel O'Neill will remain asleep and unaware.' Garshaw added.

'And just how long do you expect the Colonel to _sleep?_' Janet shot back.

They all glared at each other.

'I have promised him that I will leave him.' Kanan said into the tense silence. 'I make you the same promise.'

Sam looked at him reluctantly. Kanan looked back at her from the Colonel's eyes. She looked away and back at Garshaw. 'I'll need to speak with General Hammond. He will need to know about the change in terms.'

'Of course.' Garshaw replied soothingly.

Thoran cleared his throat. 'As I said to Doctor Fraiser, you should leave. We will return Colonel O'Neill once we have secured a host for Kanan.'

Sam stiffened. 'You want him to stay here until then?'

'It will be done quicker if Colonel O'Neill remains with us during that time.'

Thoran looked smug. Sam wanted to hit him. Teal'c looked like he was going to and Sam shifted subtly.

'You can't expect us to leave the Colonel with you indefinitely.' Sam said passionately.

'You don't trust us?' Thoran snapped.

Garshaw raised a hand before Sam could reply and frowned heavily. 'I believe this matter would be best discussed with General Hammond. It is clear that we need to revisit the original agreement.'

'On that much we are in agreement.' Teal'c replied in a low growl.

Sam nodded. 'We'll go to the Stargate and request his presence.'

'That would be appreciated, Samantha.' Garshaw said firmly.

Sam darted another look at Kanan and turned to leave. She walked out with Janet and Teal'c at her heels.

'What are your orders, Major?' Janet asked briskly when they'd taken a few steps away from the room and paused in an adjoining corridor.

'Stay with the Colonel, Janet.' Sam said. 'Teal'c and I will go to the gate and report to the General.'

Janet nodded.

'Can you let Jonas know what's happening?' Sam asked tiredly. She wasn't up to finding him and explaining it herself.

'I will.' Janet said.

Sam led the way back to the small room SG1 had been using as quarters. She and Teal'c retrieved their weapons and headed to the surface. They walked to the Stargate in silence.

Sam indicated for Teal'c to watch their position and she walked up to the DHD. She froze as she reached for the first symbol and withdrew her hand. The sense that she had failed overwhelmed her. She had failed the Colonel by asking him to take the symbiote; failed the General by letting the Tok'ra dance around the terms of the agreement and in failing to protect the Colonel's interests.

'Major Carter.'

'I'm fine, Teal'c.' She swallowed hard. 'I just...I just need a minute.'

He took a step toward her. 'You could not have predicted this turn of events, Major Carter.'

'I should have done.' Sam mumbled. She was aware more than most that the Tok'ra could play fast and loose with the truth when it came to their own survival. She shook the thought away. Feeling sorry for herself wouldn't help the Colonel and the longer she stood doing nothing, the longer he had to endure the situation. She pressed her lips together and dialled the symbols for Earth. It was time to call in the cavalry.

o-O-o

'What is taking so long?'

The Major's frustration echoed in the small corridor and Teal'c shared it. General Hammond had arrived with Major Davis a few hours before to discuss the situation concerning O'Neill and the two had disappeared into the Council chamber to discuss the matter with the members of the Tok'ra Council present.

Teal'c knew his team-mate was once again regretting the absence of her father and his symbiote Selmak. Jacob's presence may have assisted in enabling the Council to understand the viewpoint of the Tau'ri.

'I'm sure the General's doing all he can, Major.' Janet spoke up before Teal'c could intercede and he inclined his head in agreement of the petite doctor's words.

Jonas Quinn shifted beside Teal'c and grimaced. 'It does seem to be taking a long time.' He kept his voice low as though unwilling to reveal his words to the two women.

'Indeed.' Teal'c said softly. The Kelownan looked disheartened and Teal'c moved subtly shielding the young man from the rest of the corridor. 'Of what are you thinking, Jonas Quinn?'

The Kelownan looked up startled. 'Actually, I was thinking of Ayiana.' He waved a hand. 'If she had lived all this wouldn't have been necessary.'

'She gave her life saving others.' Teal'c murmured.

'And maybe that should bring me some comfort,' Jonas said, waving a hand toward him, 'but all I can think is that I should have done more.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. 'What more could you have done, Jonas Quinn?'

'I don't know.' Jonas admitted. 'Something.' He pulled a face. 'Anything.'

'I believe there was nothing you could have done to prevent her death.' Teal'c said firmly. He was aware that his team-mate had formed a bond with the Ancient woman they had unearthed in Antarctica. She had been preserved in ice and had remarkably come back to life as they had warmed her body. Unfortunately, she had also given them all the virulent disease which had threatened Colonel O'Neill's life. She had healed everyone but had fallen too sick to heal O'Neill.

'I just wish...' Jonas sighed heavily as he reluctantly accepted that the way things had turned out had been the only possibility. 'And this thing with the Colonel?' He shook his head. 'It all seems unreal.'

Teal'c couldn't argue. Perhaps the Tok'ra's omissions at the time of their offer had been simply an oversight but to his mind there had been too many such omissions in the past for it not to be suspicious. It was his view that the Tok'ra had simply seized the opportunity to provide a host to one of their kind and perhaps had hoped O'Neill would have a change of heart after the blending.

Suddenly, there was a sound at the other end of the corridor and SG1 turned to face the stream of Councillors that poured out. Sam led the way into the chamber and hurried over to the General who was conversing in quiet tones with Major Davis.

'Sir?' Sam asked urgently.

Teal'c could see the faint sheen of sweat that covered the General's red brow. He had evidently given his all in the discussion.

'Major Carter.' The General glanced at the rest of SG1 and Janet lined up behind Sam and turned to Major Davis. 'Could you give us a moment, Major?'

'Of course.' Davis nodded at them all and left the room.

The General tapped the long table beside him. 'I'm afraid it isn't good news.'

Sam flinched before she resumed her position. 'Sir?'

'The Tok'ra have insisted that we give them a reasonable amount of time to find a host.' Hammond gave a small shrug. 'More, they insist the debriefing must be done here and there are a number who are determined for us to leave. They made serious noises about breaking the alliance if we continued as one of them put it, 'to demonstrate a lack of trust in their care of the Colonel.''

'What does that mean, sir?' Janet asked bluntly, stepping forward.

'It means we have no choice. The Pentagon and the President do not wish to risk the alliance at this point.' Hammond admitted. 'The Colonel remains with the Tok'ra and we depart. They promise to return Colonel O'Neill if no host has been found in a suitable period.'

'And what is a suitable period?' Jonas asked.

'Let's just say they remained vague but acknowledged that the longer the period, the more risk there would be to the Colonel and the symbiote in dissolving the blending.' Hammond said.

Sam scowled and Teal'c noted she was not the only one.

'Believe me, people,' Hammond continued, 'I am as unhappy as you are but in the short term, we feel it's within our best interests to concede to the Tok'ra's request. We think we may have more leverage once we have provided them with some time.' He seemed to understand their anxieties because he looked at each one of them solemnly. 'Be assured that I will not allow this to go on indefinitely.'

He took a breath. 'We have managed to secure agreement that the Colonel be woken momentarily to be informed.' His pale blue eyes landed kindly on Sam. 'I thought you and Teal'c might want to be the ones to speak with him, Major.'

Sam straightened. 'Yes, sir.'

Teal'c inclined his head.

Hammond waved at Sam to lead the way. They walked through the corridors back to the room allocated to the Colonel. Janet and Jonas waited outside as Hammond entered with Sam and Teal'c.

Thoran and Garshaw were already present, speaking with the symbiote and no doubt informing him of the outcome of the Council's deliberations. He wore Tok'ra clothing; beige pants with a brown over-shirt. It gave the Colonel a faintly alien air and Teal'c could admit to himself that it was unnerving.

Hammond cleared his throat. 'If my people could have a moment with the Colonel.'

'Of course.' Garshaw said graciously. She turned to Sam. 'I'm sorry for the misunderstandings that have arisen in this matter, Samantha. It was not our intention to mislead or misinform the Colonel or yourselves.'

Sam nodded smartly.

Garshaw looked for a moment as though she was going to say something else before she evidently changed her mind and nudged Thoran. They left.

'You wish to speak with O'Neill?' Kanan asked brusquely.

'We do.' Teal'c said without further explanation.

'It will take some time for him to revive.' Kanan laid down on the sleeping platform and closed his eyes.

A few minutes later, Jack blinked and opened his eyes. He gave a groan and rubbed his face.

'Colonel?' Sam stepped up beside him immediately.

Jack lowered his hand and looked at her. 'So. What's going on? Do I...' he waved at his head.

'Yes, sir.' Sam said apologetically. 'You're still a host.'

'Ah.' Jack pulled a face. 'Then why the wake-up call?'

'There's been a change in plan.' She explained succinctly; the Tok'ra's demand for a reasonable period of time, their insistence on the Colonel being left in their care.

Teal'c noted that O'Neill listened carefully until she came to a halt.

'Well, there's the other shoe.' Jack commented dryly, eliciting a small smile from Sam. 'So, how long is reasonable?'

'The Tok'ra will not specify a time frame, O'Neill.' Teal'c said.

'Sir?' Sam inquired as Jack remained silent.

Jack gave a sigh. 'I'm going to be put back to sleep, right?'

'Yes, sir.' Sam said. 'You won't be aware of the time passing.'

Jack shrugged. 'OK, then.'

'Sir?' Sam seemed shocked.

Teal'c was also surprised. He had not expected his friend to react with such equanimity.

Jack moved uncomfortable with their intense scrutiny. 'I'm not saying I like this but I'm OK with it. He healed me; I owe him.' He grimaced. 'Maybe we should give them some time to find another host.'

'We could stay, sir.' Her mutinous expression gave away her intent to defy her orders.

'Negative, Major.' Jack shook his head. 'I'll be fine.' He gestured at her. 'You're in charge of SG1 until I get back.'

Teal'c could see the gleam of pride that entered her eyes at O'Neill's confidence in her abilities. 'Yes, sir.'

He nodded at her. 'Can you give me a minute with Teal'c?'

Sam shot Teal'c a questioning look. 'Yes, sir.' She went to place a hand on Jack's arm but withdrew just before she reached him. 'Hopefully, we'll see you in a few days, Colonel.'

'Yeahsureyoubetcha.' Jack quipped bringing another smile to her face as Teal'c believed the Colonel had specifically intended.

Sam left and Teal'c was alone with his friend. 'O'Neill,' Teal'c began his own offer to remain beside O'Neill; he had some leeway given his own commitments to the Jaffa.

Jack waved a hand cutting him off. 'I need you to stay with Carter.'

It was a request not an order despite the way it had been framed; Teal'c knew that. Just as he knew the request was not that of a team leader asking one team-mate to look out for another but of a man requesting another to look after his mate. Yet Teal'c knew O'Neill would never admit it nor would Teal'c ever press the matter with him. His team-mates had chosen to put aside their love to fight the Goa'uld and Teal'c admired their sense of honour and of duty; he would abide by their wishes in the matter despite his own wish to see them happy together. There was no need for further words to be spoken.

Teal'c bowed his head in agreement.

Jack looked around and grimaced. 'I should, uh...' he gestured at his head.

'Rest well, my friend.' Teal'c said gravely. He watched as O'Neill closed his eyes, as his breathing became even and regular, before he left the room. Sam and Jonas looked at him curiously but he didn't explain what O'Neill had wanted.

'It is done, General Hammond.' Teal'c confirmed.

Hammond gave a sharp nod. 'Then, let's go home, people.' He led the way out of the corridor; Davis, Janet and the nurse falling in behind him. Jonas gave Sam and Teal'c an embarrassed smile and followed the others. The original members of SG1 lingered.

Sam looked into the room and its single sleeping occupant. 'I hate this.' She admitted. 'Leaving him behind.' She shook her head. 'It doesn't feel right, Teal'c.'

He agreed with her but he hid his own unease. He knew O'Neill would never want her to risk her career disobeying the order to leave. 'We must depart if we are to leave with the others.'

Sam grimaced but nodded. Teal'c cast one final look at O'Neill and fell into step beside her. He would keep his promise to O'Neill and remain by her side; he only hoped O'Neill would not regret his decision to remain alone amongst the Tok'ra.

o-O-o

Kanan stirred from behind his mental barriers as he felt Jack O'Neill shift back into deep sleep. He pushed him the final distance required to keep the host from waking and felt a moment of regret. O'Neill was a fascinating host. The human was unlike any he had previously encountered. So much spirit and independence. He could understand why Selmak so enjoyed being with Jacob. The glimpses he had seen of O'Neill's memories, of his thoughts during his brief time awake had been enthralling.

He regretted that O'Neill did not want their blending to continue but he understood it more. O'Neill valued his freedom and independence; he could not countenance trading that not even for his own life. It surprised Kanan that his host had been so receptive to the change of plans given his earlier resistance. The reason had become apparent as O'Neill had talked with his team-mates; O'Neill believed Kanan was sincere and would leave him; Kanan had healed him and that was a debt that had to be repaid.

Major Samantha Carter. The blonde haired woman drifted into Kanan's thoughts. She reminded him a little of Shallan in appearance. He thought the name wistfully. Ba'al's lotar was a gentle creature; loving, compassionate. He could remember her touch and her scent even though his mission to Ba'al's fortress had been completed many months before. He had loved her. He had left her with Ba'al. He had left her with his enemy; one who would not hesitate to kill her if her treachery were ever discovered.

The thought disturbed Kanan. He shook it away. His mind drifted again to O'Neill. There was no doubt in Kanan's mind that O'Neill loved Samantha Carter. The human had been unable to stop the flood of emotions from filling him when he had woken and seen her. She was part of the reason why O'Neill had agreed to host a symbiote although he would not admit it. O'Neill hadn't wanted to leave her.

A memory drifted into Kanan's head. A blue force-shield stood between O'Neill and Carter; she was looking back at him with tears in her eyes, a plea for him to leave her yet he wouldn't go. He loved her too much; would rather have died than to have left her.

The depth of feeling stunned Kanan. O'Neill would never have left Shallan, he realised. Shame filled him; overwhelmed him. How could he believe himself in love with her yet have left her?

'Kanan.' Thoran's voice startled Kanan from his whirling thoughts and emotions, and he looked up to see his fellow Tok'ra beside him. 'The Council is ready for your report.'

Kanan pushed away his internal turmoil as he stood and followed his old friend. He would consider it again once he had made his report, he decided. When that was over, then he would decide how he would go back and rescue Shallan. The brown eyes were backlit for a moment with white showing his determination. It was no longer acceptable to him to leave her behind.


	27. Internal Battles

**Author's Note: **Sam/Jack UST. Sam/Daniel friendship. Sam/Jonas friendship. Daniel & Nick relationship. In memory of Jan Rubes who played Nicholas Ballard.

**Nightwalkers Recap:** _Sam receives a call early in the morning from Doctor Flemming (a professor of genetics) claiming he knows about her experience with Adrian Conrad and stating that she has to help him. He is cut off before he can say anything more. The next day Sam and Hammond brief Teal'c and Jonas. Sam notes Flemming worked for a subsidiary owned by Conrad. Flemming is now missing although his car was found totalled. Hammond says it warrants further investigation and he'll make arrangements for the three of them to head to Steveston – Jack is still with the Tok'ra. As Hammond leaves Sam assures Jonas people don't think he's strange. He asks about Jack specifically and Sam suggests they get lunch._

_SG1 sans Jack arrive in Steveston. Sam talks with the Sheriff who admits Flemming's disappearance is suspicious. Sam and the team head for Flemming's house and take delivery of a package that Flemming had sent to himself. It is a syringe. Meanwhile, the townspeople in Steveston gather in an odd manner._

_Sam meets up with Jonas and Teal'c in the diner; Jonas notes the townspeople seem half-asleep. The Sheriff talks with Sam and tells her that another researcher, Stoeffer, disappeared a few months before. He gives her files from Immunotech. The team investigate the files and theorise that Flemming and Stoeffer were experimenting with cloning._

_Teal'c and Jonas go to the local bar and are greeted with suspicion. The next morning, Sam tells Teal'c and Jonas that Janet thinks the liquid in the syringe is a form of antibiotic. Jonas realises that the shipyard is being used. They find a partially built spaceship and encrypted disks. Sam breaks the code while Teal'c and Jonas watch the shipyard; Flemming was creating Goa'uld clones. She warns Teal'c and Jonas but too late; they are taken hostage. When others arrive for Sam, she injects herself with the contents of the syringe._

_Teal'c and Jonas have actually been detained by the deputy sheriff, an undercover NID agent; they intend to wait until the ship is built before intervening. When they go back to the motel they find Sam gone. The other agent, Singer, zats them all. Teal'c and Jonas wake to find Sam has been Goa'ulded; she slaps Jonas. The Goa'uld have decided to take over the NID. Sam gets hold of a zat. The NID containment team moves in. Sam appears in a car and zats the NID agents. She is in control not the Goa'uld. Back at the SGC, Sam explains how she inoculated herself with the contents of the syringe which was a failsafe way of destroying the Goa'uld clones and then played along. The townspeople have been injected with the antibiotic; the ship sent to Area 51. Jonas asks Sam whether she felt it absolutely necessary to slap him. Sam suggests lunch._

**Internal Battles**

Daniel Jackson settled gently on the wide platform within the pyramid and looked around at the vast space. It was just as he remembered it; the thin walkway over the endless canyon. He glanced over his shoulder at the crystal skull. He wasn't certain the skull's transference abilities would work on his new form but he needed to talk with Nick...he needed to talk with someone who wasn't Ascended.

He had tried so hard not to watch over his team-mates, to stay away from Earth, and for the most part he had been successful. But every so often he would wander back and when he did...how could he have so much power and not help them when they were hurting? It was a question that nagged at him; nagged at him until he needed to talk about it with someone. He could have found Oma but he wasn't in the mood for another lesson and while he loved Shifu, he still thought of him as a young child. He had always confided in Catherine Langford but he was worried about confiding in anyone back on Earth in case the Others considered that interfering. He was hoping that the other dimension that his Grandfather lived in would provide some kind of veil.

Suddenly, a rush of wind barrelled through the empty space and a large giant alien looked down at Daniel.

'It has been a long time since one of your kind visited here.' The alien intoned deeply.

Daniel surmised he meant Ascended beings rather than humans. 'I'm looking for Nick.'

The alien gestured for Daniel to look behind him and evaporated.

Daniel whirled around and smiled as he took in Nick's smiling face. 'Nick.'

'Daniel.' Nick hurried over and made to grasp Daniel's arms. His hands went through him. Nick stared at him in shock. 'Then it is true? You are an energy being now?'

'I am.' Daniel's lips twisted. 'Sorry about...' he waved an arm.

'You are here!' Nick exclaimed. 'That is all that is important.' His rheumy eyes settled on Daniel speculatively.

'I needed to talk with someone.' Daniel said hesitantly; still unsure of his welcome in some respects. He and Nick had never been close yet and Nick's assignment to learn from the giant cloudy aliens had ensured even their reconciliation was done at a distance. Daniel had travelled back to the planet once a year to check in on him, receive the latest in Nick's research but it left little time for personal discussions.

And although he knew some of his reasons for choosing his Grandfather had been practical, he also knew his Grandfather wouldn't question Daniel's need to explore Ascension because Nick understood what it was to need to do something so badly that it came before friendships and family; he understood how to look beyond the accepted boundaries and believe in something else. He'd come to Nick because his Grandfather wouldn't try to persuade him from his journey.

Nick indicated the steps leading up to the skull and Daniel acquiesced to Nick's silent request to sit. He helped the older man lower himself to sit.

'So tell me, Daniel.' Nick said gently. 'Tell me of this Ascension.'

Daniel began to talk and before he knew it he was telling Nick everything; the accident in Kelowna, his radiation poisoning, Oma's offer, his journey...

'It's all so incredible.' Daniel concluded eventually. 'I'm learning so much. There's just so much we don't know.'

'You always did have a passion for knowledge.' Nick commented. 'But it is not the learning what troubles you, hmmm?' His eyes twinkled at his grandson and he wagged a finger at him. 'You are having trouble sticking to the rules.'

Daniel smiled sheepishly. 'I guess.'

'I know.' Nick said firmly. 'You never liked rules, Daniel.' He rubbed his knee as though it ached. 'Your parents gave you too few and the foster care system gave you too many.'

Daniel shrugged, uncomfortable with the topic.

'Your childhood taught you to question rules.' Nick continued. He gave a wide smile. 'And that is not a bad thing.' He gestured around them. 'It was the reason why you would not accept what everyone else believed about the pyramids; it brought you through the Stargate.'

'It's hard, Nick.' Daniel confessed in a rush. 'I see the people I love in danger, hurting, and I want to help them but I...' he sighed heavily, 'I'm not allowed.'

Nick regarded him solemnly. 'Your gift is being able to look beyond the rules, Daniel; to think outside of them.' He reached out to pat Daniel's knee and stopped, realising it would go straight through him. He withdrew with a rueful smile and gestured weakly instead. 'Use it.'

Daniel nodded slowly. _Look beyond the rules; think outside of them._ It was good advice. He smiled at Nick. 'Thanks.'

'You are welcome, Daniel.' Nick struggled to his feet.

'I wish I could help you.' Daniel admitted, standing up. He was suddenly aware of how old Nick was; his fragility.

Nick waved away his apology.

'I won't see you again, will I?' Daniel realised as he faced the older man.

'My journey is coming to an end.' Nick said with a smile. 'And yours must continue.'

Daniel could see there was no fear in Nick's expression; just acceptance.

'Remember: I am proud of you, Daniel.' Nick said.

There was another rush of wind through the huge pyramid and Nick disappeared before Daniel could reply. He blinked back the sting of tears in his eyes as he looked around the empty cavern. 'Goodbye, Grandpa.'

o-O-o

Lunch was almost over. Samantha Carter scraped the last of the blue Jello from the dessert dish and pushed it to one side of her tray. She glanced at the cake Jonas Quinn had chosen and frowned. It was the usual choice of their team leader but Jack O'Neill remained with the Tok'ra awaiting another host for the symbiote he carried – the symbiote who had saved his life. Her eyes glanced off the empty chair next to Teal'c and she felt a pang of yearning.

She missed him. It had been almost three weeks since they had left him with the Tok'ra. General Hammond had reported their last contact five days before had confirmed they had been promised the safe return of the Colonel within days. Sam feared the Tok'ra's view of what constituted an acceptable number of days was somewhat far removed from their own.

She hid the grimace that sprang to her lips as a wave of resentment rushed through her. She had hated leaving the Colonel alone with the Tok'ra; hated that their allies had insisted on it. They had always promised never to leave one of them behind and, despite the Colonel's agreement to it all, she couldn't help but believe that that's what they'd done; left him behind. It didn't feel right knowing he was alone.

Moreover, she knew he hadn't really wanted the Tok'ra symbiote despite the fact that it had been the only way to save his life. He'd only taken it because vital information had been at stake. But the last time they had spoken before SG1 had been ordered home, the Colonel had seemed accepting of allowing the Tok'ra sometime to find another host believing he owed the symbiote a chance given it had cured him. The symbiote had promised to keep the Colonel in a deep sleep so he would be unaware of his blending and unaware of the passage of time.

She just wanted him home.

Maybe, she considered wryly, they could compare symbiote experiences. Her neck itched and she rubbed at the faint scar left by the Goa'uld symbiote forced upon her during the mission in Steveston. It had healed the entry wound and Janet Fraiser had surmised that ultimately it would fade leaving no sign of her ordeal behind. Sam shuddered faintly as her stomach churned uneasily. She hoped the mental scars would fade as fast.

They had knocked her out with chloroform and she was thankful for that. She had had no memory of the Goa'uld actually entering her body; the physical pain of the implantation. Her previous experience with the Tok'ra symbiote Jolinar had at least prepared her for finding the Goa'uld in her mind as its presence had quickly eliminated the drug and it had allowed her to remain silent and hidden as she waited for the antibiotic to take effect. Despite that, the mental rape of knowledge and memories had been as devastating as it had been with Jolinar. It had been gleeful at finding her an ex-Tok'ra host with naquadah in her blood which would enable it operate Goa'uld technology, unlike the other clones, who had been bred without naquadah, inhabiting the bodies of the Steveston population. It had quickly started to make plans to make itself the leader. The antibiotic had taken only minutes to work but each minute had felt like an hour. The symbiote had simply stopped mid-thought in its world domination plans.

Sam hadn't been completely assured though until she had seen the MRI and the evidence that the symbiote was breaking down inside her body. Janet was trying to work out how the antibiotic was able to kill the symbiote without it releasing the usual deadly toxins. Sam believed it was a combination of the clones' genetic alterations and the speed at which the antibiotic worked. It seemed months after Adrian Conrad had kidnapped her to work out how to survive a Goa'uld possession his own project had provided the answer. If he'd had the time to wait, Conrad would have succeeded in curing himself using a symbiote and in surviving the experience.

It was a pity, Sam mused, that they hadn't known about the NID operation or the symbiotes when the Colonel had been so in need of a cure. He could have stayed on Earth, given a symbiote and the antibiotic could have been administered as soon as he was cured. But she doubted he would have accepted the idea given his deep abhorrence at the idea of being possessed by a Goa'uld. She couldn't blame him. The idea turned her stomach and she wasn't sure she would opt for it either if she was seriously ill. At least the Tok'ra symbiote had been able to make the process as painless as possible for the Colonel.

'You OK?' Jonas's concerned question interrupted Sam's introspection.

She breathed in deeply and nodded. 'I'm fine.' She ignored the innate compassion in her team-mate's eyes. Jonas was a bright, intelligent man and she liked him, she did, but...

But he wasn't Daniel Jackson. She missed the archaeologist fiercely. Daniel would have known without asking that she wasn't fine; that she missed Jack; that she was struggling to handle having another symbiote foisted on her...he would have helped her through it all...but he wasn't around anymore.

Sam stood up abruptly. 'I've got some work to do in my lab. I'll see you both later.' She walked away without waiting for either Jonas or Teal'c to reply. She stowed her tray and headed out of the cafeteria.

Her neck itched again.

Her stomach roiled.

Sam detoured from the elevators into the nearest bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before she vomited her lunch into the porcelain bowl. She washed up and rinsed her mouth out, trying to ignore how her hands trembled as they splashed water on her face. She gazed at her pale image in the mirror.

Janet had already hinted that Sam might need to spend time with the base psychiatrist. Sam had refused, claiming she barely remembered anything about being possessed. She grimaced. She could handle it. She could. She just needed the Colonel home and she would be able to handle anything.

o-O-o

'You know I don't think Major Carter is as fine as she claims.' Jonas commented to Teal'c.

The Jaffa raised an eyebrow. 'Major Carter is a formidable warrior.'

Jonas caught the defensive edge to his friend's voice and raised a hand in surrender. 'I just meant that it must have been tough to experience being a host even for a short period.'

Teal'c's chin lifted as he acknowledged Jonas's words. 'Perhaps you are right, Jonas Quinn.'

Jonas wiped his mouth with a paper napkin, screwed it up and tossed it on his tray. 'I'm not sure how I would handle it.'

'Major Carter's actions saved you from such a fate.' Teal'c said.

'Undoubtedly.' Jonas shifted on the hard plastic chair. There was no doubt Sam had saved him from enduring the same experience she had. He understood she had acted the way she had to keep the Goa'uld in the dark to her own state; that the words she had spoken had been meant to keep him and Teal'c from harm only...

'_The humans don't really trust him.' _

She hadn't meant it, Jonas reminded himself. She had said it just to keep him safe from becoming a host. 'Do you think she meant it?' he blurted out.

Teal'c looked at him inquisitively.

'About the whole, you know,' Jonas waved a hand, 'trust thing.'

His friend didn't immediately answer and Jonas felt his stomach drop.

'Right.' He muttered.

'Trust is earned, Jonas Quinn.' Teal'c said gently. 'You have done much to earn that trust...'

'But I need to do more.' Jonas completed. He crossed his arms over his chest, pulling the t-shirt taut over his muscles. He had known the answer before Teal'c had spoken and he couldn't really blame anyone for his situation. His arrival on Earth hadn't been in the best of circumstances; lying about Daniel Jackson's involvement in the incident which had ultimately led to the other man's departure from the programme, his own betrayal of his government...these weren't the actions of someone trustworthy. Jonas felt shame wash over him again.

He was making progress in making amends: he'd been assigned to SG1, helped Earth survive an attack from Anubis, helped save his new team. But he would need to do more.

'It took many months perhaps years before I was fully trusted and even now there are some amongst the Tau'ri who continue to doubt my intentions.' Teal'c said. 'So it will be with you.'

'You're right.' Jonas agreed with a brisk nod. 'I know you're right.' He smiled. 'I guess I'd just hoped that it wouldn't take so long.'

Teal'c inclined his head and got to his feet. 'If you'll excuse me, I am in need of kel no reem.'

Jonas nodded and watched his friend leave; he suspected Teal'c would stop by the Major's lab to check on her. He picked up the apple he had saved for the finish of his meal and bit into it. The sharp tang filled his mouth and he chewed appreciatively.

'Jonas.' Nyan, his Bedrosian friend, sat down with a full tray. 'I did not expect to see you.'

Jonas smiled at the friendly archaeologist. 'I'm just finishing.' He gestured at Nyan's full tray. 'Hungry?'

'I have not eaten all day.' Nyan admitted. 'SG9 came back with a wonderful find from P9Y654: a golden tablet with many hieroglyphs. Doctor Coombs and I have been performing tests all morning.'

Jonas listened as Nyan enthused about the tablet as he ate the apple. He placed the core on top of the rest of the rubbish.

'Listen to me babble on.' Nyan rolled his eyes. 'What of you? How was the mission to Steveston?'

'Interesting.' Jonas provided a succinct summary of events.

'That is incredible.' Nyan murmured. 'That the Goa'uld symbiotes could act in concert in such a manner to build a spaceship.'

'It's fascinating. All they originally wanted was to go home.' Jonas paused and leaned forward. 'Nyan, have you ever considered going back to Bedrosia?'

'I have not.' A pained look entered Nyan's eyes and Jonas gave an apologetic grimace.

'I'm sorry.' Jonas said. 'I shouldn't have...'

'No, no.' Nyan hurried out. 'It is just that the question surprised me.' He stared down at his food for a long moment. 'I cannot go back. My people are not ready for the truth.'

'So you consider Earth your home now?' Jonas pressed.

'I do.' Nyan agreed. He pointed his fork at Jonas. 'May I ask the same question to you?'

Jonas sighed. 'I can't go back either.' He gave a small shrug. 'My people consider me a traitor.' He looked at Nyan. 'Teal'c plans to go back to Chulak eventually. He still considers it his home not Earth.'

Nyan looked surprised. 'I had not considered that before.' He gave a sigh. 'I will miss him when that time comes. He has become a good friend. But I understand it. I am allowed to have an apartment in town; Teal'c is not.'

'Because of his symbiote.' Jonas thought out loud. He pressed his lips together. 'I wonder if I'll get permission for an apartment one day.'

'You are fully human, Jonas.' Nyan pointed out. 'I'm sure it is just a matter of time.'

Time and trust, Jonas mused. He gave a wide smile and got up from the table. 'I should get back to the translations I left undone before Steveston.'

Nyan waved him goodbye and Jonas made his way out of the commissary. He walked lost in thought and it was with some surprise that he found himself outside the Major's lab. He almost turned around, embarrassed, but Sam caught sight of him and waved him inside.

'Jonas,' Sam said, continuing to tap away at her computer, 'did you need something?'

'I, uh, I...'

She turned around as he stumbled over his words. Her face creased with amusement at his hesitation.

Jonas took a breath. 'I just wanted to check you were OK.'

A flicker of annoyance shot through her blue eyes. 'I said I was fine, Jonas.' Her tone had cooled considerably.

'You went through quite an experience.' Jonas countered, taking his courage into his hands.

'Nothing I haven't been through before.' Sam shot back, her eyes on her monitor.

'Look,' Jonas said determinedly, 'I know you don't really trust me yet, I get that, but I want you to know that if you need to talk I'm here.' He waited a beat and when she didn't reply he made to leave.

'Jonas.'

Her call stopped him from taking another step and he turned back around to find her looking at him solemnly, her hand absently tracing the edge of her desk.

'I know we were joking about it earlier but you do know everything I did and said back in Steveston was just for show, don't you?' Sam said firmly. 'I didn't mean any of it.'

Jonas could see the sincerity in her face and he could hear it in her voice. Relief trickled through him.

He nodded a little jerkily. 'OK.' He offered a bright smile.

She smiled bravely, fleetingly. 'And really; I'm fine.'

He nodded again. He pointed over his shoulder. 'I should...'

'Actually, Jonas,' Sam seemed to come to some decision, 'I think I'm going to go home early; get some rest. Would you mind taking a meeting this afternoon with Doctor McKay on the latest naquadria results?'

'Sure.' Jonas took the file. 'I understand Doctor McKay is working on a way of channelling the power into a buffer to gain some control over the power ratios?'

'Yeah.' Sam grimaced. 'It's a good idea.'

Jonas's lips twitched. She didn't sound pleased. 'I believe he based it on your work with the weapon on Velona.'

'Oh.' Sam made a face. 'I didn't know that.'

Jonas suppressed his smile and held up the file. 'Have a good rest.' He walked out. He knew the file and the meeting were her way of saying she trusted him. And maybe she did: with the naquadria, as part of the team. Maybe it was just too soon for her to confide in him as a friend but maybe it would come in time. Jonas sighed as he took the stairs to Daniel Jackson's office – his office. He just had to be patient and give it time.

o-O-o

_Sam stood in the control room watching the Stargate. It erupted in a splash of blue and white before it settled back into a blue puddle._

_A hissing snake, as large as a fully grown python writhed out of the event horizon and into the gate room._

_Personnel ran from the room._

_'Lock it down!' General Hammond ordered as another snake slithered out of the wormhole._

_She couldn't move; couldn't look away as the snakes fought. Hissing and snarling at each other._

_It was a dream, Sam thought desperately, just a dream and..._

_And when she looked around she was alone. The control room was empty. Whichever snake won would come for her next...it would come for her next and there was no-one...not Daniel, not the Colonel...no-one to help her..._

_'I'm here.' Daniel said._

_Sam's head snapped around and she stared at her former team-mate. He stood just behind her as usual; dressed in the blue BDUs he always favoured, the shirt open over a black t-shirt. He smiled at her._

_'Hi.'_

_'Hi.' Sam said slowly. 'You're dead.'_

_'Ascended.'_

_'Same difference.' Sam said accusingly. 'You're not here.'_

_'Well, I am here.' Daniel pointed out._

_'This is a dream.' Sam turned back to the battle in the gate room between the two spitting serpents._

_'Really? I was thinking nightmare.' Daniel pushed his hands in the pockets of his pants._

_Sam didn't answer him; she couldn't, her throat was choked up with tears she wouldn't shed._

_'You went through something incredibly frightening.' Daniel murmured. 'Again.' He stressed. 'It's no wonder your subconscious is battling it out here.' He indicated the snakes._

_'Thank you but Janet is already lining up a shrink for me.' Sam bit out._

_'I'm not here to be your shrink,' Daniel paused, 'although that would have been an idea,' he looked at her compassionately, 'I'm here as your friend.' He waved a hand toward the gate room and the snakes disappeared._

_'As easy as that?' Sam shook her head. 'I can feel it in my body and my skin crawls and...'_

_Daniel hushed her as he tugged her into a hug._

_She buried her face in the heavy material of his shirt and cried. 'I miss you. Why don't you come back?'_

_'Can't.' Daniel said sadly._

_'Won't.' Sam contradicted as she stepped back._

_'This is something I have to do, Sam.' Daniel said. He looked around the control room. 'I do miss this. You.'_

_She snorted inelegantly as she swiped at her eyes._

_'Teal'c,' Daniel continued, 'Jack.'_

_Her eyes sharpened on his. 'Do you know...'_

_'About him taking the symbiote?' Daniel nodded. 'You know you and he have that in common: you've both been a host to both a Goa'uld and a Tok'ra symbiote.'_

_'Woo-hoo!' Sam said sarcastically._

_'It'll help him when he comes home.' Daniel chastised._

_'We had to leave him, Daniel.' Sam sighed. 'He's all alone...'_

_'He won't be alone anymore.' Daniel said firmly. He held her gaze. 'I promise you that. I won't leave him.'_

_Sam nodded slowly._

_Daniel wet his lips. 'Speaking of Jack, I should go.'_

_'Right.' Sam sighed. 'I'm not going to remember this when I wake up am I?'_

_'Nope.' Daniel admitted with a half-smile. 'But you will feel better about...everything.'_

_Sam moved to hug him goodbye._

The phone rang loudly in her ear.

Sam's eyes snapped open; her heart beating fast. She looked through the darkness to the bedside table. Jack. Maybe there was news of the Colonel...

One hand reached for the light as the other reached for the phone. 'Hello.'

'Do you know how difficult it is to track down your number?' McKay replied in response. 'I had to get the SGC to put me through!'

'McKay?' Sam looked at the clock and slumped back on the bed. 'Do you know what time it is?'

'Uh? Oh. Never mind!' McKay jumped to the reason for the call. 'I'm in Steveston. Have you seen the spaceship those Goa'uld were building? I think we can use some of the engine room parts. I talked about it with your alien guy...'

'He has a name, McKay!' Sam protested.

'Right. Joe.'

'Jonas.'

'Who cares? The point is...'

'I care and the point is we'll talk about this in the morning.' She put the phone down and waited.

It didn't ring

Maybe McKay had got the message. She sighed and turned the light off. She frowned into the darkness. Her neck no longer itched. She shrugged the thought away. Maybe she would talk to the General in the morning: she was tired of waiting for news. They should contact the Tok'ra and request the Colonel be returned home; host or no host. They'd had long enough. Her mind decided; she slipped back to sleep.

o-O-o

Daniel stood by the Stargate as Kanan reached the DHD. The device was bathed in moonlight. Daniel searched the darkness to see if anyone pursued the Tok'ra. No-one had. No-one had noticed Kanan leaving as the symbiote had intended. It had walked out of the Tok'ra base with a purpose. Daniel didn't know what it was but he could sense this was more than just boredom or needing to get out for some air.

Kanan began to dial.

Daniel frowned as the symbols lit up. He recognised the address: it was a planet owned by Ba'al. Why was Kanan going there? Ba'al was one of the most ruthless of the System Lords; his cruelty legendary. What reason could Kanan have for going to Ba'al?

The possibilities sent waves of fear and anger through Daniel. He saw the wormhole engage; the swoosh of the backwash illuminating the area in front of the Stargate.

Kanan stepped forward.

Daniel almost revealed himself. He should stop him; do something, Daniel mused silently. But he didn't move. If he stopped Kanan it would be interfering; a blatant breaking of the rules unlike the subtlety he had used in creeping into Sam's dream. He watched as Kanan disappeared into the blue. Daniel didn't hesitate: he followed. Perhaps he couldn't do anything to actively stop Kanan but he could keep the promise he'd made; he could stay with Jack.

He would be with his friend whatever happened.


	28. Finding Solid Ground: Part I

**Author's Note: **Posted in three chapters as a trilogy. Jack/Team friendship. Sam/Jack UST. Mention of adult situations.

**Abyss Recap:** _A man and a woman stumble through a forest being pursued by Jaffa. The man tells the woman to hide; his voice altered by his symbiote. He goes to the DHD but as he begins to dial he is hit by a staff weapon. He falls to the ground and the symbiote falls from the host's mouth and wriggles away. The host is revealed: it's Jack. He awakes in a sarcophagus. _

_Thoran arrives at the SGC. He says he brings bad news. They convene a meeting with SG1 and Thoran notes that the Colonel simply walked out of the base without notice which SG1 disputes stating Kanan is the more likely to have left. Thoran says that the Tok'ra have accepted Kanan's loss; Hammond notes they don't leave their people behind._

_Jack is taken to Ba'al and pinned to a wall by a gravitational device. Ba'al begins to torture him; sending knives into Jack's body. Jack banters back gamely; he claims he only knows that he was sick and agreed to the implantation, he doesn't know anything else._

_Sam questions Thoran. Jonas theorises that Kanan was dealing with unfinished business. When Teal'c requests the old mission reports Thoran says it is not possible for them to have them._

_Jack awakes again in a sarcophagus. He's taken to a cell which operates on a gravitational control. He sees a blonde woman but before he can make her out properly, Daniel appears. Jack calls him a delusion. Daniel assures him he's really there. Jack throws a shoe through him. Daniel reminds him he's energy. Jack accepts his presence and asks for his help. Daniel tells him he can't interfere. Daniel asks Jack why the symbiote came to the planet. Jack says he doesn't know; there was no sharing. He was implanted and woke up on the planet. Daniel notes Ba'al will keep torturing Jack and the possibility of rescue is remote: Daniel offers to Ascend Jack._

_Meanwhile back at the SGC, Thoran notes to Hammond that SG1 won't let Thoran leave. Hammond says they're following his orders. Thoran can send a request for the mission reports or he'll be a guest at the SGC until he changes his mind. He says to Thoran that he doesn't care if it damages relations between the two allies. Thoran agrees to the request._

'_You want to be my Oma?' Jack asks Daniel. Daniel tells Jack he has to release his burden. Jack notes that there has to be a way out. Daniel refuses to do a recon. Ba'al continues to torture Jack with acid and notes that Kanan's memories are likely in his mind and they will discover them. Jack dies and is brought back again. He sees the woman again. Daniel reappears. Jack pleads with Daniel to do something but when he refuses, Jack says SG1 will think of something. Daniel tries to tell Jack about his potential but Jack notes he's not Daniel. Daniel notes he's a better man than he thinks. Jack yells that Daniel is wrong. Jack asks Daniel to kill him; to ensure that he stays dead._

_Jonas theorises that Kanan's motive is personal because Kanan achieved his mission objectives. Sam is struck by Kanan's mission to Ba'al's fortress and how Kanan used a female lotar to gain access to Ba'al's quarters. Sam suggests Kanan and the lotar were together in some way. Teal'c says that the Tok'ra accept sacrifices. Jonas notes it was after the blending that Kanan made the decision. Sam realises that Kanan would have judged himself by Jack's code of honour; they don't leave people behind._

_Jack continues to be tortured. Hammond denies SG1 a mission to rescue Jack from the outpost. Jack is back in the cell having endured another session. He is clearly exhausted and broken. Daniel isn't there._

_Teal'c is meditating when he gets an idea; they don't have the capability to rescue Jack but a System Lord would. Hammond tells SG1 that Thoran is threatening to end relations after SG1 contact Yu to act against Ba'al with a request to take out the power generators first._

_Jack is being tortured again. He murmurs Daniel's name. When Jack returns to the cell; Daniel appears again. Jack notes that unless Daniel ends it, he's going to tell Ba'al everything; that Kanan loved the lotar, he came back for her, he wanted to save her. Jack notes that if he tells Ba'al, the lotar will be tortured. Daniel tells Jack that he's getting a chance – SG1 thought of something. The attack from Yu begins and Jack escapes. He finds the woman and takes her with him._

_He wakes finally at the SGC with the rest of SG1 at the foot of his bed. Sam notes Shallan decided to stay with the Tok'ra. Jack thanks them all and asks Sam for some water. They leave and Daniel reappears. He says goodbye to Jack and that he'll be alright. Sam returns with Jack's water and wishes him goodnight before leaving. Jack thanks the absent Daniel again._

**The Finding Solid Ground Trilogy**

**Part 1: Rock Bottom**

It seemed surreal to be back.

Jack O'Neill glanced around the infirmary again as though to check he really was there. The institutional walls stared back at him, filling him with a sense of security. He breathed in deeply, filling his lungs with the antiseptic smell that always lingered. The faint sounds of nurses performing medical rituals somewhere down the corridor in another room filtered through the heavy silence.

He smoothed the top cover on his bed and closed his eyes. He was safe. He was in the infirmary. Back home at the SGC. He had made it; against the odds, he had made it home.

He wasn't sure how or why. He barely remembered the run from Ba'al's fortress; his mind had settled into some kind of battle fugue. He had shot Jaffa after Jaffa, clearing the way to the Stargate. He had all but dragged Shallan, Kanan's lover, through the wormhole, stumbling into the bright light of the new Alpha site. He had fallen then; tired beyond belief. He'd woken up twice; once in the Alpha site infirmary to Janet Fraiser's voice and a litany of questions which he'd answered robotically, and once on the journey to the Stargate; the blue sky above him dotted with drifts of cloud as he gazed up from his position on the stretcher.

He was broken.

Jack's eyes blinked open at the thought. He stared up at the endless ceiling tiles until his eye caught on a familiar smudge.

'_I know you have your doubts because you've been through something no one should have to go through. I guess what I'm trying to say is…you're going to be alright.' _

Daniel Jackson's final words seeped back into Jack's consciousness like a soothing balm on a raw wound. Daniel had thought Jack was going to be OK but Jack could admit he still wasn't so sure.

Ba'al had taken him apart. He would have told the Goa'uld everything he had asked to know; anything to die one last time and not to wake up again. Anything to make the endless torture stop. It didn't matter to Jack that he had lasted longer than anyone else would have done; had perhaps held out longer than anyone else ever had if the Goa'uld was to be believed. It didn't matter to him that he had kept Kanan's secret; kept his own secrets from the Goa'uld. The knowledge that he had would have spilled them all in his very next session nagged at him.

He felt weak; impotent.

It wasn't something Jack was used to feeling. He'd felt something like it once before after his spell in a prison in Iraq.

Bound, beaten, broken.

His body had healed but Jack wasn't sure he had ever truly recovered. He wasn't ever sure he'd faced the truth of that. He'd taken on even more dangerous missions after Iraq...done more distasteful things as though to simply prove he could. Until Charlie had died and he'd stepped through the Stargate to Abydos. The SGC had become his second chance; an opportunity to redeem himself.

'_You're a better man than that.'_

'_That's where you're wrong!'_

Maybe Ba'al had been a punishment for past deeds...karma. Jack closed his eyes. He'd never believed in that crap before but now...

He knew his body was strong; physically the sarcophagus had healed everything Ba'al had done. There was no trace of the knives that had plunged through his muscle and flesh; no sign of the acid that had burned through his blood. He had the sarcophagus withdrawal ahead which meant, given he'd watched Daniel go through it, he wasn't looking forward to the next few days, but he figured he'd get through it and come out of his experience physically whole.

He wasn't sure about his mind.

Everything inside felt fragile; as though it had been shattered into a tiny million pieces and his body was simply a shell holding it altogether.

'_...you're going to be alright.' _

'_How do you know?' _

'_You're just going to have to trust me.'_

He could trust Daniel. Maybe his Ascended friend hadn't blown Ba'al to bits with his newly acquired powers or whisked Jack away when he'd been captured in the first place but Daniel had been there for him; had stayed with him; had ultimately given him hope just as Jack was ready to give up.

'_You were right. There's always a way out.'_

Had Daniel helped SG1 find a way to give Jack that fighting chance he'd needed? Jack figured Daniel would never tell even if he had and maybe it was for the best if it kept Daniel out of trouble.

He missed his friend. He missed Daniel every day. He'd lost team-mates before but Daniel's death had been different, more so in that it hadn't truly been a death. But it had been a loss and one Jack had felt sharply. All of SG1 had struggled in the other man's absence. Having Daniel beside him again had felt like a piece of the puzzle had been returned albeit temporarily. He wished Daniel could have stayed.

He wished Carter could have stayed.

His eyes flickered open and landed on the glass of water Samantha Carter had left before she had departed. He'd almost asked her. The words had hovered on his tongue. But he had kept his mouth shut and she had left him to rest.

As her CO, he wasn't meant to want her to stay; wasn't meant to want to wrap himself around her, fill himself with her scent and touch to forget Ba'al. Jack closed his eyes again resolutely. Carter had moved on from their once mutually known feelings and she had done it at Jack's behest, he reminded himself. She was unaware he hadn't been able to do the same, and Jack wanted to keep it that way. He had his pride even if he still loved her.

The sound of someone approaching had him tensing. A hint of perfume hit his nostrils; a floral, orangey scent he recognised as Carter's shampoo; the one she'd started using just after Daniel had died. He heard her pull up a chair, quiet as she tried not to disturb him.

She had come back.

Jack swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. It didn't mean anything. It was the act of one concerned team-mate for another; a friend staying by his bedside to offer a familiar face and comfort. That was all.

He didn't care. She was there. He wasn't alone. Her fingers struck the keys of her laptop and the familiar rhythmic sound relaxed him. She was there and he was safe. He slipped back into sleep.

o-O-o

The Colonel looked incredibly untouched by his experience. Sam couldn't help notice that as she continued to work on her laptop. She hadn't been able to settle in her lab after leaving him. She figured she could work beside him without disturbing him.

She glanced at his sleeping visage; all the lines on his face relaxed in repose, the way he was curled up under the blankets. He looked pale but that was to be expected after almost a month spent within the Tok'ra base and more days spent in Ba'al's fortress.

A shiver went through her.

They didn't know the full details of what had happened to the Colonel only that he had been repeatedly tortured and subjected to the sarcophagus. It sounded bad. Sam knew the Colonel had shared some of his ordeal with Janet, enough to determine a course of treatment, but the full debrief would only happen once the CMO had declared him fit to take part, and even then Sam believed General Hammond would offer the Colonel the opportunity to do it in private. She shifted on the chair.

She wasn't sure she wanted to know the details. It was bad enough knowing it had happened. She felt slightly nauseous every time she thought about it. She had experienced some of Jolinar's memories on the various methods of Goa'uld torture and they had all made her shudder. And she couldn't help feeling guilty.

Sam pushed the thought away and tried to focus on her work. She keyed in some new data and set the programme running; looked over the latest report on the X303 engine, another on the spaceship discovered in Steveston. Her blue eyes went immediately to the Colonel as he made the briefest movement.

He looked back at her, blinking as though in confusion. 'Carter.' His voice was a whisper.

'Sir.' Sam fumbled to place the laptop to one side so she could move to stand beside him but paused when she realised his eyes were already closing again. She shifted back to her original position and tried to focus on the text that was inextricably swimming across the monitor. She blinked rapidly to clear her vision.

Her gaze sneaked back to the Colonel. She knew he wouldn't appreciate or tolerate any hint of pity. It was one of the reasons she had been so matter-of-fact with him when he had woken earlier; one of the reasons why she had ushered Teal'c and Jonas out.

She rubbed the back of her neck and tried futilely to consider the latest data on the naquadria projections. They'd already pretty much exhausted their small supply and they really needed more of the substance if they were to make progress on developing shields and defences. She sighed. It was a problem for another day.

Her hand strayed back to her neck. The scar she had acquired from being implanted with a Goa'uld symbiote during her previous mission had gone and she had noticed that it had faded as though by magic. Janet had theorised that it was a side-effect from the absorption of the dead symbiote in her body; an increased healing and regeneration ability. Sam couldn't help but be creeped out by the whole thing despite going through the same experience with Jolinar. Her eyes went back to the Colonel.

His meagre report had indicated Kanan had left him for dead. At least, he wouldn't have to deal with a symbiote dying inside him. He would have to deal with the other side-effects of being a host though; she could feel the faint trace of naquadah that coursed through his blood. It was nowhere as strong as the feeling she got around Teal'c or an active host but it was there. Perhaps he'd be able to use the Goa'uld devices, Sam mused.

She wondered how much he remembered of Kanan. Jolinar's memories had once intermingled as naturally as her own until Selmak had placed protective barriers in her mind. She could still access them; was aware of their presence; but the flashbacks that had once taken her by surprise on occasion no longer happened. Kanan had promised to keep the Colonel in a deep sleep yet she knew it was possible that information had been exchanged on a subconscious level.

The Colonel stirred again, his face creasing into a frown. She bit her lip as she waited anxiously in case he woke. He settled with a sigh and Sam gave up the pretence of working. She set aside her laptop.

Did he blame her, Sam mused. She had asked him to take the symbiote and regardless that it had been his decision to accept it, would he assign some responsibility to her for what had happened? She sighed deeply. She very much doubted that the Colonel's decision had anything to do with her personally. Whatever feelings Jack had once felt for her had been set aside when he'd shot her to save the base. He had moved on. Yet she couldn't shake the feeling that she was to blame. If she had just told Thoran and the General that the Colonel would never want a symbiote...but then she would have lost him to the illness that had ravaged his body after Antarctica.

She had almost lost him anyway. Tears filled her eyes and Sam blinked them back again. She wouldn't cry. She couldn't risk the questions it would prompt. If the Colonel saw her...he would know she still loved him, and that was just unacceptable. She had more pride than that. Sam closed her eyes. She would just rest...just for a little while.

o-O-o

Hell was white. It was filled with a bright light that blinded him. Jack could feel his wounds healing again; the knit of muscle and flesh as they stitched back together and reformed his physical shell.

He didn't want to be there anymore.

Beyond the light was pain.

Endless pain.

Pressure crushing him from the inside out.

Knives.

Acid.

And questions. So many questions.

He'd wanted to answer them so badly...

So badly.

He was weak.

Useless.

Anger stirred...

o-O-o

Sam frowned in her sleep. Something was wrong. Something...

A sound intruded; a low moan.

The Colonel.

Her eyes snapped open and she jerked into an upright position. The Colonel was clearly agitated; he'd thrown off the blankets; he was shivering and groaning. His face was contorted in pain.

Sam reached for the call button and pressed it. She hovered uncertainly by the bed. She didn't think it was a good idea to rouse him from whatever nightmare was holding him hostage by herself. He was Special Ops trained and was recovering from serious torture. She remembered how she had reacted to being woken abruptly after her experience with Adrian Conrad. She figured the Colonel's reaction was bound to be worse.

The clip-clop of heels across the linoleum sent a wave of relief rushing through her and she turned to meet Janet who had a nurse following at her heels.

'I just woke up and he was...' Sam waved at the Colonel in explanation.

Janet gave her a reassuring nod. She walked up to the Colonel's bedside and took his pulse quickly and efficiently. 'He's going into withdrawal.' She moved to prepare a shot of something and looked at the nurse. 'I'm going to administer a strong sedative. When it takes effect, I want the Colonel moved to a private room, restraints applied.'

'Yes, ma'am.' The nurse nodded.

'Janet?' Sam questioned concerned.

'I thought we had more time before the withdrawal would kick-in.' Janet admitted succinctly. 'He's going to need close monitoring and given how violent Daniel became, I'm don't want to take any chances.'

Sam sighed but she didn't argue. She remembered Daniel's reaction to the sustained sarcophagus use all too well; he'd been very violent and had assaulted Janet and some guards before the Colonel had managed to contain him. If their mild-mannered former team-mate could act so violently during withdrawal...she really didn't want to think what the Colonel would be capable of doing.

'Stand back, Sam.' Janet ordered and Sam moved a few steps away to give the petite doctor room.

The Colonel's eyes suddenly flew open. His hand came up to snare Janet's as it descended towards him with the syringe.

'Colonel.' Janet's voice shook a little but she attempted to remain calm. 'I'm just...'

He didn't wait for the explanation. He moved before any of them could react. He sat up and twisted Janet's arm towards her in one smooth move; the syringe stabbed into her thigh and he rammed the depressor home. Janet slumped to the ground with a small cry.

'Colonel!' Sam shouted as he sprang off the bed, dressed only in the pants of his infirmary pyjamas.

'Call for back-up!' The nurse yelled as he moved to intercept the Colonel in a tackle. The two men went skidding across the floor.

Sam hurriedly pushed the alarm button and reached for the phone. 'Security to the infirmary.' She slapped the receiver back into the cradle.

The Colonel had gained the upper hand in his wrestling match with the nurse. He tossed him across the ward into a cupboard. The nurse hit his head and went down hard.

'Colonel.' Sam started to run towards him and stopped as he grabbed a scalpel from a nearby tray and swung to strike her...

Her heart jumped in her chest as she froze. The scalpel stopped its arc towards her throat: its lethal point directed at her jugular.

The Colonel stared at her; no hint of recognition in his brown eyes yet he blinked as though she had struck a chord in his memory and he was struggling to remember.

The stampede of feet had his head jerking around. The SFs and Teal'c entered at a run with General Hammond and another doctor just behind. The SFs raised their weapons...

'No!' Sam shifted, heedless of the consequences, placing her own body between the Colonel and the weapons. The scalpel followed her.

Jack frowned as though her action in protecting him had confused him.

'Major Carter.' Hammond sounded nervous.

'I'm OK, sir.' Sam assured him even though her voice shook with nerves. She met the Colonel's gaze firmly. 'Colonel. It's me; Carter. Put the scalpel down.'

'Carter.' Jack repeated.

'Carter.' Sam confirmed.

It was as though she'd ripped a veil from his mind. He shook his head and the scalpel wobbled before it fell to the floor. He stared at her horrified, breathing heavily.

'It's OK, sir.' She assured him in a rush.

His eyes rolled back.

'Teal'c!' Sam yelled as she moved to catch the Colonel. The Jaffa was quicker. Teal'c caught him before he hit the floor.

'I have him, Major Carter.' Teal'c assured her.

The SFs lowered their weapons as Teal'c carried the Colonel back to bed.

'Major?' Hammond questioned as Doctor Brightman rushed to examine the Colonel, briefly pausing to check on Janet.

'The Colonel has begun suffering withdrawal symptoms.' Sam explained as she went to check on the nurse. 'He's not in control of his actions. Doctor Fraiser was attempting to give him a sedative when he woke and...' she paused as she registered the nurse's injuries, 'he injected Doctor Fraiser. Nurse Peters attempted to subdue him but...' she gestured at the prone form. 'I think he's just bruised and knocked out.'

'Can I have all non-essential personnel out of the infirmary, please?' Doctor Brightman eased Sam out of the way as she knelt by the nurse. Her colleagues were hurrying in to assist and Sam could see Janet was already being lifted onto a nearby gurney.

Hammond gestured for her to follow him out. They glanced at an immovable Teal'c beside Jack's bed but nobody was arguing. Teal'c was probably the only person on the base who would be able to restrain the Colonel if he woke again before they could treat him.

'That was a helluva move you pulled, Major.' Hammond said in a low voice as they got far enough away not to be overheard.

Sam couldn't prevent the heat that surged up into her cheeks. 'I knew he wouldn't hurt me, sir.'

'You took a huge risk.' Hammond corrected. He held her gaze for a second before he gave a weary sigh and ran his hand over his bald pate in acceptance.

Sam allowed herself a small breath and nodded.

Brightman emerged from the infirmary ward and a second later, the Colonel's bed trundled out and down the corridor, Teal'c faithfully following it.

'I'm having the Colonel transferred to a private room with an observation window.' Brightman informed them briskly as she hooked the stethoscope around her neck. 'I'm admitting Doctor Fraiser for observation; she was injected with a substantial dose of sedative but she should just sleep that off. It will be several hours.'

'I'll check on Cassie.' Sam murmured out loud.

'Peters is also being admitted. He took a blow to the back of the head. I want to perform a MRI to rule out any brain swelling.' Brightman continued.

Hammond nodded. 'Anything else, Doctor?'

Brightman seemed to hesitate momentarily before she straightened. 'Doctor Fraiser had all of us review Doctor Jackson's file in preparation for the Colonel going through the same experience.' She plunged her hands into the deep pockets of her white coat. 'We believed that the Colonel might suffer a milder version given he was injured when he entered the sarcophagus unlike Doctor Jackson. However, the onset of the withdrawal suggests the Colonel's withdrawal is more extreme and given that...'

'Get to the point, Doctor.' Hammond said firmly.

'Have you ever seen someone go through a cold turkey withdrawal from heroin, sir?' Brightman rejoined.

Hammond and Sam exchanged an anxious look.

'I'm concerned the severity of this withdrawal is going to place an enormous stress on the Colonel's body. I want to place him in a drug induced coma. Hopefully, he won't fight the physical pain and the stress will be less.'

Hammond nodded gravely. 'Do whatever you feel is necessary, Doctor.'

Brightman's eyes lighted with relief. 'Then with your permission, General?'

'Of course.' Hammond waved her away. The General turned to Sam who had taken a step after the doctor. 'Major.'

Sam stopped and gave an apologetic smile belatedly realising she hadn't been dismissed. 'Sorry, sir.'

Hammond looked at her understandingly. 'You won't do anyone any good if you don't get some rest, Sam.'

The use of her first name surprised her but she sighed in acquiescence to the General's suggestion.

'I'll just check in with the Colonel and Teal'c, sir.' Sam said neutrally. 'And then, I'll rest.'

'Very well, Major.' Hammond departed and Sam was left alone in the corridor.

She ran a hand through her dishevelled blonde hair. She turned on her heel and walked in the direction of the disappearing doctor.

o-O-o

Jonas watched as Teal'c gathered food. It was late in the commissary. The SGC night shift was in full swing; the corridor lights muted and the sounds hushed despite the stark concrete. There had been only one SG team departure that night: SG13 heading out under their newly assigned leader Colonel Dixon. Jonas had watched them and wondered when SG1 would be back in the mission rotation. He immediately felt guilty.

Colonel O'Neill was clearly going to need time to recover. It wasn't his fault that he'd fallen sick with the Ancient virus nor that the symbiote given to him so that he would heal had ostensibly abducted him and left him to be tortured by Ba'al. Jonas shook his head. It was a miracle that the Colonel had even survived one part of what he'd gone through never mind that he had made it home.

Jonas mopped up the last of his gravy with a piece of bread and stuffed it into his mouth as Teal'c made his way to the table and sat down opposite him. Jonas hurriedly swallowed. 'How is he?'

Teal'c paused in shaking salt over his meal. 'O'Neill has been placed in a deep coma to reduce the physical strain on his body from the sarcophagus withdrawal.'

'Is Sam with him?' Jonas inquired.

'Indeed.' Teal'c picked up his knife and fork. He began to eat.

Jonas leaned back in his chair. 'Is it true that the Colonel held a scalpel on her?'

'He was not in control of his actions at the time.' Teal'c replied calmly.

'It sounds like it got tense there for a while.' Jonas commented.

Teal'c didn't answer. He continued eating.

'Was I supposed to be there?' Jonas blurted out. He raised a hand from the table as Teal'c looked at him. 'I mean, Sam was there and you were there.' He pressed his lips together. 'I've noticed everyone usually stays with their team-mates when they're in the infirmary.'

'I do not believe Colonel O'Neill would expect your presence.' Teal'c replied.

'Maybe not expect it,' Jonas agreed, 'but maybe I should be there anyway.'

Teal'c lowered his cutlery. 'In certain circumstances I have observed that human males do not wish their weakness to be on display to others.'

Jonas raised his eyebrows. 'You think the Colonel wouldn't want me there?'

'Doctor Jackson only allowed Colonel O'Neill to be present during his withdrawal and he had a longer standing relationship with myself and Major Carter at that time than you do currently with O'Neill.'

Jonas slowly nodded his head. 'So I should keep myself scarce?'

'I believe Colonel O'Neill would appreciate your discretion and distance until he is stronger.' Teal'c confirmed.

'I guess I understand that.' Jonas said. He was disappointed but he understood. He and the Colonel had barely started to develop an understanding before the mission to Antarctica. He doubted the older man wanted him to witness him in a weakened condition. 'Perhaps you can tell him I'm thinking of him when he's feeling better?'

Teal'c inclined his head in agreement.

The klaxons sounded loudly, startling Jonas. Teal'c got to his feet and Jonas followed as the Jaffa made his way to the control room.

Walter Harriman acknowledged them with a sharp nod. 'Incoming wormhole.' He announced calmly.

Hammond clattered down the stairs to join them. 'What have we got?'

'Receiving IDC, sir.' Walter responded. 'It's the Tok'ra.'

'Open the iris.' Hammond ordered, heading to the stairs. Teal'c moved to join him and Jonas followed.

Garshaw stepped out of the wormhole onto the ramp. She waited until Hammond approached before she made her way down to meet him.

'General Hammond.' Garshaw's eyes swept over Teal'c and Jonas. Jonas gave a small wave and an embarrassed smile. He'd only met the Tok'ra Councillor a few times during their brief time on the Tok'ra base when they had delivered the Colonel for his implantation.

'Garshaw.' Hammond looked at her quizzically. 'What can we do for you?'

Garshaw made a small face. 'I am afraid it is not good news, General.' Her eyes met his gravely. 'The Tok'ra Council has sent me to inform you that we have determined Colonel O'Neill must be brought to account for Kanan's death.'

Jonas's mouth fell open and as his eyes darted to Teal'c's glower and Hammond's red face, he knew he wasn't the only one shocked by the Tok'ra's announcement.

o-O-o

Hammond had never felt more like throwing one of their allies off his base than he did at that precise moment. He felt his blood rising; temper heating; his hands curled into fists. He stamped down hard on all of it.

'I think this discussion is best done in private.' Hammond bit out. He turned to Teal'c. 'Ask Major Carter and Doctor Brightman to come to my office immediately.'

The Jaffa bowed and departed, Jonas beside him. Hammond marched out of the gate room and back up the stairs to the small space that served as his. He directed Garshaw to a seat.

'May I get you some refreshment?' His tone was polite but his face was stern and Garshaw shook her head.

'General Hammond...'

He held up a hand as he took his seat, sinking back into the leather cushions oblivious to their comfort. 'I would prefer to wait until Major Carter and the Doctor in charge of the Colonel's treatment join us before any explanation.'

Garshaw's mouth tightened but she nodded in acquiescence. 'Very well.'

Hammond leaned forward, his elbows resting on his desk as he clasped his hands over the blotter. His mind raced. He couldn't understand what the Tok'ra hoped to achieve with their action. Relations had been frosty over the incident with the Colonel and his symbiote. They had forced Thoran into giving them the mission reports; had informed Yu of Ba'al's location and research against the Tok'ra's wishes. But he couldn't believe that they would hold the Colonel accountable for the death of the symbiote.

There was a thud of footsteps and Hammond was unsurprised to see the Major reach the office door first, the slim form of the acting CMO just behind her with Teal'c and Jonas bringing up the rear. He gestured for them all to enter. The doctor took the remaining visitor seat and SG1 stood off to the side. The Major's silver dog-tags glinted against her black shirt as she assumed an 'at ease' pose.

'Garshaw.' Hammond motioned at her. 'You know Major Carter. This is Doctor Brightman.'

Garshaw nodded.

'Briefly,' Hammond said, addressing the Major and doctor, 'Garshaw has brought a message from the Tok'ra Council indicating they wish to formally hold Colonel O'Neill responsible for the death of his symbiote.' He couldn't quite keep the incredulity out of his voice.

'If I could explain?' Garshaw jumped in before the others reacted. She wet her lips. 'The Council met earlier to discuss recent events. We received two motions from angry members. One came from a new member of the Council who wished to lodge a formal protest concerning the decision by your people to inform Yu.'

'I can understand that.' Hammond said striving for a neutral tone. He had been half-expecting something. He had knowingly pushed the boundaries of their treaty. He would do it again but he believed the Tok'ra would protest, the President would claim plausible deniability and Hammond would receive an official reprimand. It was just business as usual politics as far as Hammond was concerned. What was more of concern was the Tok'ra's decision on the Colonel.

'The second motion was made by Thoran.' Garshaw sighed heavily and placed a hand on the polished surface of the desk as she leaned forward. 'He had spoken with Shallan...'

'The girl the Colonel rescued?' Hammond checked. 'The one this Kanan had a relationship with?'

'Yes.' Garshaw confirmed. 'He claimed that she told him that Kanan informed her that he had come to realise his mistake in leaving her behind after blending with his new host; that it was this singular instance that caused him to act so irrationally.'

'Host and symbiote do influence each other.' Sam broke in. Her eyes glittered defiantly. 'That's a natural part of the process.'

'Thoran believes that the Colonel impressed his own values on Kanan until Kanan felt unable not to act.'

'I'm sorry,' Brightman cut in, 'but my understanding is that the Colonel was unconscious throughout the majority of the blending?'

Garshaw hesitated. 'We cannot know for certain that this took place.'

'Kanan said it did at the time of the implantation and the Colonel has confirmed it since.' Sam argued.

'Regardless,' Garshaw said, 'Thoran believes that Kanan would not have acted in such a way on his own and he has convinced a number of the Council. The Council is asking for you to voluntarily deliver the Colonel into our custody so a formal hearing can take place and the Colonel brought to account.'

'For something you have yet to prove.' Hammond pointed out briskly.

Garshaw's head dipped. Her host Yasouf appeared with a shy smile. 'I apologise for the change in personnel, General, but perhaps if I could explain this is not Garshaw's choice. She argued most strongly that the Colonel could not be held accountable as did many others.'

'Then why was the motion allowed?' Jonas asked.

'One of our kind is dead; the Colonel lives.' Yasouf gently noted.

'So they want to blame someone?' Jonas said. 'And the Colonel is a handy scapegoat?'

'He is also known to be deeply cynical about blending; to abhor the idea of our kind. Can you not see how this may look to some?'

'That he led Kanan into some suicidal mission?' Sam bristled. 'The Colonel would never make the tactical errors Kanan evidently did.'

The Tok'ra's head dipped again. 'Perhaps not and perhaps a full accounting will bring to light this fact.' She looked at Hammond. 'I will need to return with the Colonel.'

'I'm afraid that isn't possible.' Hammond said crisply. 'The Colonel is in a drug-induced coma. His body may not survive the effects of undergoing extreme withdrawal from the sarcophagus.'

'Of course.' Garshaw breathed in deeply. 'We should have realised.'

'We're estimating it may take days for the Colonel to recover enough to make a full debrief.' Brightman added. 'There is certainly no way I would release him to stand some kind of trial any time soon.'

'I see.' Garshaw frowned. 'I would suggest the hand device but we have found it useless in such cases.'

'Then you can see that what you ask is currently an impossibility.' Hammond said.

'Yes.' Garshaw tilted her head. 'But if the Colonel survives – and I sincerely hope he makes a full recovery – the Council will expect him to be delivered to us.'

Hammond shot Sam a look before she could protest. 'And I will certainly take your request under advisement. However, given the circumstances, you won't be surprised to hear that we intend lodging a formal protest of our own over the treatment of Colonel O'Neill, both during his time in your care when a symbiote took possession of his body without his consent, and in allowing that symbiote to leave your base unopposed on a personal mission which endangered both the Colonel and this base. And let's not forget this latest outrage.'

Garshaw flinched at Hammond's hard tone.

Jonas cleared his throat in the awkward silence and raised a hand as though in school.

'Jonas.' Hammond indicated for him to speak.

'If I may offer a suggestion,' Jonas said, 'I think what both parties are seeking is an explanation of what happened. Perhaps we can agree a more informal hearing where the Colonel would be allowed to debrief both parties?'

'I'm not certain that would satisfy Thoran.' Garshaw admitted.

'What if the Colonel used the Tok'ra za'tarc device?' Jonas suggested. 'As I understand it, it would prevent the Colonel from lying about events, right?'

Hammond watched the small grimace flit across Sam's face. It was an uncomfortable reminder to her of being accused of being a za'tarc, of the events that had transpired afterwards with Martouf's death. He had a suspicion of the confessions that had cleared her and the Colonel of being za'tarc's but he knew he didn't want to look to closely at it; still didn't.

'Perhaps that could work.' Garshaw mused out loud. 'I would have to discuss it with the Council.'

'And I will have to discuss everything with my own superiors.' Hammond agreed.

Garshaw nodded. She reached for her abandoned scarf and Hammond stood up. He waved at SG1 and the doctor to remain where they were as he escorted the Tok'ra down to the gate room and gave the order for the gate to be dialled. They stood in awkward silence as the wormhole engaged.

Garshaw turned to him. 'I hope relations between us can be repaired, General. You have been a tremendous ally for the Tok'ra.'

'I feel the same way.' Hammond said. 'But I won't allow one of my people to be sacrificed to make it happen.'

'I understand and I hope it doesn't come to that.' Garshaw took a step toward him. 'Thoran's host was brother to Arden, Kanan's previous host. I believe he is grieving. If time passes, I believe so too will his anger towards the Colonel.'

'Let's hope so.' Hammond murmured.

Garshaw clasped Hammond's hand lightly before she strode up the ramp and disappeared into the blue. Hammond made his way back to his office slowly. He closed the door behind him softly and retook his seat.

'Thoughts?'

'Permission to speak freely, sir?' Sam asked.

'Granted.' Hammond wondered if he was about to regret his agreement when he saw the lightening flash of anger zig-zag across her delicate features.

'Are we really going to put the Colonel through this after everything he's gone through already?' Sam demanded.

Hammond's lips twitched and the Major looked at him quizzically.

'Sir?'

'My apologies, Major.' Hammond gestured. 'I thought you were going to tell me this was all bullshit.'

The tension lifted in the room and he was pleased to see a fleeting smile drift across Sam's lips.

He looked around the room. 'Is there any chance the Tok'ra could be right? After all, it was your own theory that Kanan was influenced by the Colonel's code of ethics that led us to the conclusion of where he was being held.'

'Unlikely, sir.' Sam said firmly. 'The symbiote may have been influenced by the Colonel's ethics but there is no way the Colonel would have had the ability to force the symbiote into an act it was unwilling to make. It's more likely that the Colonel's viewpoint simply allowed Kanan to do something he had wanted to do but couldn't justify before the blending.'

'And according to both Kanan and the Colonel at various times, the Colonel was unconscious and unaware of events from the moment of implantation to waking up on Ba'al's planet.' Jonas chipped in.

'The use of the za'tarc machine will enable us to prove that, sir.' Sam confirmed.

'Sir,' Brightman drew their attention swiftly, 'I have to make the point that there are a lot of steps before the Colonel will be in any position to take part in any debriefing and I would advise against it.' She waved a hand expressively. 'Even if the Colonel survives the physical withdrawal, there is still the stress of the trauma he has endured to consider. Reliving his experience through the debriefing would endanger his recovery.'

'I'd like you to write that up in an official recommendation, Doctor.' Hammond said thoughtfully. He sighed and leaned back. 'Unfortunately, I think we will need to give the Tok'ra some kind of concession here even if it's only access to our own debriefing.'

They looked about as pleased as he felt.

'I have some calls to make.' Hammond said. 'Let's focus on getting Colonel O'Neill through the withdrawal.'

He watched as they filed out of the room. The anger he'd repressed bubbled up as he went back over the conversation with Garshaw. If it was his decision, he knew he would be tempted to tell the Tok'ra where to shove their alliance. If they thought for one moment he would allow one of his people to be simply handed over like a common criminal when they were innocent...

He took a deep breath.

It wasn't his decision though and Hammond knew he would need all of his political nous to convince the Pentagon and the President that sacrificing Jack on the altar of the Tok'ra alliance wasn't the thing to do. For that he needed a calm head. He set aside his anger for the second time and picked up the red phone.

'This is Hammond. I need to speak with the President.'

o-O-o

Daniel watched frustrated as Hammond argued coolly against agreeing to the Tok'ra's demands. The General was well versed in politics and he watched as Hammond argued determinedly for not setting a precedent; for supporting a highly valued, highly respected officer who had saved not only Earth but the Tok'ra on several occasion; for the notion that perhaps with the Tok'ra in so much disarray that they needed Earth more than Earth needed them right then. It was an impassioned argument and one that Daniel itched to make himself.

He felt Oma settle beside him in the office. She said nothing for a long moment. She simply stood beside him, as equally invisible to Hammond as Daniel was himself, and listened.

'Your friend is in trouble.' Oma commented.

'Yes.' Daniel agreed shortly.

'What do you intend doing?'

Daniel turned to face her. Oma looked serene. Her graceful beauty settled into a knowing expression that made Daniel look away guiltily.

'Nothing.' He muttered. 'I'm not allowed to interfere.'

'And yet you already have.' Oma pointed out, revealing just how much she did know.

If he had been human, Daniel figured he would be blushing brightly. 'I nudged.' He had tried to follow his grandfather's advice and think outside of the rules.

Oma reached out and clasped a hand on his shoulder. In an instant their surroundings changed. They stood on another planet; a wide lake before them. Oma walked over to sit by the glassy water and patted the rock to indicate Daniel should join her.

'I don't need another lesson.' He began awkwardly.

'Do you want to be Ascended, Daniel?' Oma's blunt question caught him by surprise.

Daniel blinked. 'You know I do.'

'I know you helped your friend escape from Ba'al.' Oma said firmly. 'You broke our rules.'

'I bent them!' Daniel insisted. 'Sam, Teal'c and Jonas had already worked out where Jack was, it was just a matter of coming up with a strategy to rescue him.' He sighed. 'Teal'c was the one who came up with the idea; he only needed to be...' he winced, 'nudged into taking it to Hammond.'

'And you also nudged Yu into acting on the information from the SGC.' Oma continued relentlessly. 'He had not considered moving against Ba'al before you whispered in his ear.'

Daniel held his tongue. He was busted. He knew it and she knew it.

Oma stirred and pushed a hand through the water creating ripples that travelled out over the surface. 'Each action you take has an impact, Daniel. Today Ba'al is attacked by Yu; tomorrow he will be courted by Anubis to be his spy amongst the System Lords.'

'Because of what I did?' Daniel felt his heart sink.

'Every action has a reaction.' Oma repeated. 'You thought only to save your friend.'

Daniel lurched to his feet. 'I couldn't just sit there and watch Jack lose his soul! Do you know how many times Ba'al tortured him? The pain he went through? The pain he's going through?' He pushed a hand through his hair and whirled around to face her again. 'I have all these powers and I couldn't do anything!'

'You made that choice when you agreed to be Ascended, Daniel.' Oma got to her feet and walked over to him. 'I can undo this. I can return you to your friends.'

Daniel held her quiet gaze thoughtfully, suddenly uncertain. He enjoyed being Ascended. The knowledge that coursed through him; that he could access at his fingertips was incredible. He was learning so much about himself; about humanity; about the universe. He had told Jack he couldn't imagine being anything else other than what had chosen to be...

But.

And there was a but. He hated the sense of isolation he felt. He hated having so much power and not being able to use it to save the people he loved no matter how much he had tried to justify it to Jack. God, it was a miracle Jack was talking to him after his refusal to help the other man out of his predicament. His offer of Ascension had been sincere but a part of Daniel knew he had only hoped Jack would accept and embrace the idea because he didn't want to be alone. And even as he had made the offer he knew Jack was too rooted to Earth, to his past, to his duty to ever agree. Jack would never leave the others behind the way that Daniel had left them.

Oma's lips twisted as she registered the rush of different emotions across his face. 'Perhaps you need to think more on your journey.'

'Oma,' Daniel reached out to grasp her hand, 'I love them. They're my family.'

'You were told you must release your burden, Daniel.' Oma said, her eyes intent on his. 'That did not just mean your physical shell and the past but also your ties to your physical world including the relationships you formed there.'

'I know that,' Daniel returned, 'I know it, and I'm trying, I am. I just seem to, uh, be having some trouble actually doing it.'

Oma's face softened. 'You have a big heart and a soul capable of much compassion, Daniel, but to hold on to those you once loved and who loved you is not fair.' She laid a hand on his chest above his heart – or rather where his heart had once resided in his physical body. 'It is not fair to them or to you.'

She moved away but Daniel kept hold of her hand preventing her from leaving. 'Will you get into trouble for what I've done?'

She smiled. 'The universe is vast and we are so small. Sometimes our actions go unnoticed.' She squeezed his hand gently and let go.

He tracked her white energy form as it floated away and disappeared. He sat cross-legged down by the pool and gazed at his reflection. He looked confused; he _felt_ confused. He breathed in deeply, trying to find the sense of peace that had eluded him ever since Kanan had walked Jack's body into a wormhole and onto Ba'al's planet.

'_If the Daniel Jackson I knew was really here...if you were really my friend and had the power to stop it, you'd stop it!'_

Jack's words drifted through his head. Daniel sighed. Perhaps the trouble was that he wasn't that same Daniel Jackson but he really had no idea _who_ he was as an Ascended being. All he knew was that he wasn't sure he liked himself very much anymore.

Continued in Part 2.


	29. Finding Solid Ground: Part II

**The Finding Solid Ground Trilogy**

**Part 2: Vertical Climb**

Some part of Jack was aware he was shivering; moaning. Voices clamoured around him; instructions shouted.

Pain.

A gasp. His.

He tried to move; restraints bit into his wrists and ankles.

Muscles contracted in agony.

His stomach spasmed; hot, bitter vomit surged through his gullet and out through his mouth and nose.

He was choking.

There were hands on his skin; painful hard rubs urging him to take a breath.

He finally managed to suck in air and the faint orangey-scent of a shampoo filled his senses.

_Carter._

He stopped struggling. And as suddenly as his awareness had come to him, he felt himself floating as the drugs rushed back through him.

There was a cool cloth on his face, cleaning and soothing him.

Safe.

He was safe.

Another breath of orangey-goodness...and he drifted back into darkness.

o-O-o

Janet wasn't wholly surprised to find Sam in the observation room or that Sam's attention was focused completely on the man in the infirmary room below. She stepped inside and closed the door softly. Sam didn't even look up as Janet slid into the chair next to her and placed the latest report on the small ledge in front of them.

'He's doing much better.' Janet commented. The Colonel looked pale but alive. The last three days had been touch and go; he had coded twice even with the coma and had almost regained consciousness the day before thanks to the negligence of a nurse who was no longer with the SGC. Luckily, Sam had been in the room and had acted promptly to get him the medical assistance needed to put him back under.

Sam nodded quickly. 'Yes.' Her eyes didn't leave the Colonel's still form.

'We're going to bring him out of the coma tomorrow.' Janet continued.

The statement finally wrenched Sam's attention away from her CO. 'Are you sure?' Sam sighed impatiently and waved a hand before Janet could answer. 'Of course you're sure; you wouldn't be doing it otherwise.'

'I'm glad you realise that.' Janet said mildly.

Sam grimaced. 'Sorry, it's just...'

'You're tired and you need to rest.' Janet replied. 'When was the last time you had something to eat?'

The blonde Major shrugged. 'Earlier; toast, I think.'

'Sam.' Janet sighed heavily. 'You're not going to do the Colonel much good if you collapse.'

Sam blushed. Janet could see the red flush travel over her face and neck.

Janet took a deep breath. 'You know the Colonel may not want you or Teal'c with him to witness the next stage of his recovery.'

Sam flinched almost imperceptibly. 'I realise that.' She looked down. 'Daniel didn't want us there either.'

'He was scared of hurting you.' Janet countered.

Sam's eyes narrowed suddenly on Janet and Janet realised she was unconsciously rubbing the bruised area where the Colonel had injected her. She stopped abruptly.

'Are you OK?' Sam asked gently.

'I'm fine.' Janet claimed, settling both hands on the ledge. She pulled a face. 'It was my own fault. I should know better than to approach a highly volatile patient without taking the usual precautions.' A faint shudder ran through her. It could have been worse. The Colonel was trained to kill and Janet figured she'd had a lucky escape. Her eyes went back to Sam. If the reports of the way Sam had stepped in front of the Colonel were true, they'd both had a lucky escape.

'Why don't we get something to eat while Teal'c's with him?' Janet suggested. 'I missed lunch myself.'

Sam nodded reluctantly and, with a final look at the Colonel, she followed Janet out and into the bright corridor.

The two women made their way to the commissary in silence. Janet watched as Sam randomly chose the chicken dish and picked up a dessert glass of Jello as she made her own selections. They carried their trays to an empty table and sat down.

Janet unwrapped the cutlery she had picked up from its paper napkin and began eating. 'So how's Jonas?'

She could see her question surprised Sam who paused in pushing her chicken around her plate.

'Fine, I think.' Sam shrugged. 'I haven't seen him much.' She nudged some food onto her fork. 'I think he's trying to give the Colonel some privacy.'

'That makes sense.' Janet agreed. 'They don't know each other very well yet.'

'Teal'c said he's been helping with the discussions with the Tok'ra.' Sam added. She finally put the fork in her mouth and Janet watched as her friend struggled to chew and swallow. It was clear that Sam didn't really want to eat.

Janet focused on the subject Sam had raised. 'I believe Major Davis is confident we'll be able to broker a deal.'

'They shouldn't be blaming the Colonel at all!' Sam shook her head. Her fork stabbed into another chunk of chicken.

'I agree.' Janet scooped up mashed potatoes. 'And I think they know that too.'

'He's been through so much already.' Sam muttered. 'He doesn't deserve this on top of everything else. I wish...' she stopped abruptly.

Janet swallowed her food and gestured at her with her fork. 'You wish?'

Sam dipped her chicken in a puddle of sauce. 'I just...I sometimes wish I hadn't asked him to take the symbiote.'

'If you hadn't asked him, it's likely the decision would have been taken out of his hands entirely.' Janet pointed out. 'And if he hadn't taken the symbiote, he wouldn't be alive, Sam.'

She nodded jerkily.

'You couldn't have known what would happen.' Janet reiterated. 'No-one could.'

Sam sighed and pushed another forkful of food into her mouth.

Janet wondered for a moment if she should say something else. She wasn't certain her friend ever would hear the words of reassurance she needed from the person she needed most to hear them from; the Colonel. Moreover, she was becoming increasingly concerned that Sam's feelings for the Colonel were entirely too personal for Sam to be objective even if he did say something.

The doctor lowered her gaze to her food and concentrated on eating. She had already tackled Sam once about whether there was something more going on between the military officers and Sam had denied it, claiming that the feelings she and the Colonel had once professed for each other were over. Or more accurately that the Colonel didn't feel the same way about Sam so ergo...Janet stopped the thought before it could reach a conclusion.

There was a point to the 'don't ask, don't tell' rule and if she pushed Sam into the confession Janet assumed she'd make if she did push, there would be official repercussions. There weren't supposed to be any inappropriate feelings between officers especially those serving on the same team even if they were one-sided. On the other hand, Janet knew both Sam and the Colonel had continued to act with the utmost honour even when they had both had shared feelings. She'd taken the decision once not to report them and she would do it again.

It was also different this time, Janet thought, glancing at Sam with compassion. The Colonel _had_ apparently moved on. Sure, he had been intent on finding Sam when she'd gone missing some months before and attentive in supporting her through the aftermath, but nothing she couldn't ascribe to his protectiveness over his team-mates generally; all of SG1 was close. Or rather had been close before Daniel's death.

She noticed absently that Sam had given up on the actual food part of her meal and had moved onto the Jello. Janet missed Daniel. The archaeologist had been a good friend and one that she wished was around to help them through the latest disaster. He could have reasoned with the Tok'ra; he could have helped Jack through his recovery; been a shoulder to cry on for Sam; been a support to Teal'c in understanding the responses of his human team-mates...Jonas was a good man but he just wasn't Daniel.

Janet pushed her own plate away and reached for the juice she had selected. She couldn't really be too judgemental about Sam's feelings for the Colonel when she had come very close to falling for Daniel, her patient. Not that anything had happened between them. Daniel had acted as nothing more than a good friend to her and Janet could accept that's all he had felt despite her own thoughts and wishes drifting along different lines. In any case, his death – Ascension – had rendered the whole thing moot. She grieved for the loss of what might have been but she knew she had to move on. Her dark eyes settled back on Sam. She wondered if Sam was having similar thoughts about the Colonel.

She searched around, determined to change the subject and blurted out the first thing that came into her head. 'Cassie broke up with Dominic.'

'Again?' Sam queried, interest flaring in her blue eyes.

'She's says it's for real this time.' Janet countered, rolling her eyes.

'What happened?' Sam asked. 'The last time I talked with her everything was going well.'

'Eliza Sharpen apparently told Chrissie Smith that Dominic had told her that he was bored with Cassie.'

'So it's all rumour and supposition?'

'Well, Dominic didn't deny it when Cassie confronted him so...' Janet shrugged. 'Dominic told her that if she believed Chrissie and Eliza then maybe they should break up.'

'Ah.'

Janet smiled. 'It makes me all nostalgic for high school.'

Sam smiled back but didn't comment.

'Cassie told me I wouldn't understand because I hadn't dated in eons.' Janet added.

Sam's delicately arched eyebrows rose. 'She actually said that to you?'

'Oh, yes.' Janet nodded.

'And she's still alive?'

Janet grinned. 'She's grounded.' Her smile fell away. 'The worst thing is she's right.'

'Huh?' Sam's spoon paused mid-way to her mouth.

'She's right.' Janet repeated. She took a sip of her juice. 'I can't remember the last time I went on a date.'

'Me either.' Sam admitted with chagrin.

They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

'It's not even funny!' Janet said, wiping her eyes.

'Maybe not,' Sam said, 'but I needed that.' And Janet could see she had. The white tension lines that had bracketed Sam's mouth and eyes had eased; there was a smile hovering around her lips.

Sam pushed her tray away and looked at the clock with a small flicker of guilt. 'I should head back and relieve Teal'c; let him get some lunch.'

Janet nodded. 'I'll come with you.' She stowed her tray and followed Sam out of the mess and back through the corridors. Maybe she would suggest a girls' night out to Sam when the Colonel was discharged from the infirmary. Maybe it would help Sam move on...and maybe it would help her move on too, Janet thought determinedly.

o-O-o

Teal'c watched as Jonas entered the mess with Major Davis. He was relieved to see his team-mate looked animated as the two men conversed as they secured food. A kernel of guilt lingered in Teal'c's gut from insisting the newest member of the team keep his distance during O'Neill's recovery but he was certain that it was necessary.

Jonas smiled happily as he approached the table and Teal'c surmised the Kelownan was harbouring no ill feelings towards him. He inclined his head as Jonas took the seat opposite and Davis sat down beside him.

'How's the Colonel?' Jonas asked immediately.

Teal'c shook salt over his potatoes and frowned. 'He is still in the coma, Jonas Quinn.'

Davis cleared his throat. 'That might be the best place for him right now.'

Teal'c looked from one to the other. 'Are discussions with the Tok'ra not proceeding as planned?'

'They're proceeding. We've agreed to meet face to face off-world in a neutral location to agree terms.' Davis said cagily. 'But they're fairly insistent on talking with Colonel O'Neill as soon as he's conscious again.'

'I never realised that talks between allies could be almost as difficult as talks between enemies.' Jonas commented, loading up his fork with an impressive amount of food.

Teal'c hid his surprise that Jonas fitted it all into his mouth.

The Kelownan chewed enthusiastically before waving his cutlery at Davis. 'Is this usual?'

'Very.' Davis agreed. 'Actually, I've found it's sometimes more difficult to negotiate with an ally than with an enemy.'

'Because you don't want to upset them?' Jonas questioned.

'Because there's usually more to lose.' Davis countered. 'The benefits of the alliance; the shared information, technology.'

'I get that.' Jonas nodded. 'But in this case we're in a stronger position right now than the Tok'ra?'

'Anubis has centred most of the attacks on them.' Davis said, cutting his meal up into precise bites. 'They're reduced to a few bases and the majority of them are on the run. We're an emergency exit not to mention somewhere safe they can go to for provisions and weapons.'

'Doesn't that make their protest...' Jonas struggled to find a word, 'risky?'

'Indeed.' Teal'c answered.

'Then why do it?' Jonas asked.

Teal'c and Davis shared a look.

'Pride.' Davis answered. 'The Tok'ra have lost a great deal over the past few months. I think this is just their way of showing they're not completely powerless.'

Jonas pulled a face.

'It's unfortunate that they are using Colonel O'Neill in their power play.' Davis continued.

'It is more than unfortunate.' Teal'c growled. 'It is dishonourable.'

'I don't agree with it, Teal'c,' Jonas said, 'but I understand why they're doing it.' He looked away shame-faced. 'My people did the same with Daniel Jackson.'

'Which puts you in an unique position to help us.' Davis jumped in swiftly. 'You'll be able to provide an objective view-point in the discussions.'

Jonas gave an uncertain smile. 'I'm happy to help in any way.'

'Any news on when the Colonel will be brought out of the coma?' Davis asked Teal'c.

'Doctor Fraiser informed Major Carter and I that it would be tomorrow.' Teal'c said. He mixed some beetroot into his potatoes, ignoring the look of horror on Davis's face and the curiosity on Jonas's. 'He is not expected to regain consciousness immediately however and Doctor Fraiser believes it will be many days of recovery before he is ready to submit to a debriefing.'

'Well, that works for us.' Davis said firmly. 'General Hammond did say that Garshaw believes the guy making the demands in regards to the Colonel...'

'Thoran.' Jonas supplied.

'Is grieving.' Davis continued. 'If he has some time to get past his grief he may see how ludicrous this is.'

'I hope you are correct, Major Davis.' Teal'c murmured. He believed O'Neill did not need to be put through the trauma of reliving his ordeal.

Davis nodded with a wry smile. 'Me too.'

o-O-o

Awareness crept in slowly. A sound. A wisp of movement beside his bed. A scent of antiseptic.

The infirmary.

The pain came a heart-shattering moment afterwards. His body convulsed. The seizure left him breathless and gasping.

'Easy, Colonel. Slow breaths.' Janet's voice soothed him.

'Doc?' Jack snapped his eyes open and took in the formless blur with a frown.

'You're in the infirmary, Colonel.' Janet assured him. 'You're through the worst of the withdrawal.'

'Beg to differ.' Jack managed to push the words out as he tried to focus.

Janet placed a hand on his shoulder. 'Your body is going through the final stages. You may feel some nausea and mild seizures but believe me you're through the worst.'

Mild, his ass, Jack thought derisively. He could make out the blob that was Fraiser but other than that...his heart pounded. 'Carter?'

'I wasn't sure you would want an audience, sir.' The doctor said quietly. 'She's waiting outside with Teal'c. You want me to send them both in?'

An audience? Right. He wasn't supposed to want anyone to see him – correction: he didn't want anyone to see him. He'd been through withdrawal once before and it hadn't been pretty. Nobody needed to see him that way especially not...he should be grateful the doc -

His body shook; muscles contracting painfully before he could complete the thought.

'Colonel?'

Jack sought the darkness again; the unconsciousness where he didn't have to feel. He wasn't aware of Carter's name slipping from his lips again.

o-O-o

Sam pushed off the corridor wall as Janet waved her forward. 'Just the Major, Teal'c.'

Teal'c bowed his head understandingly. Sam sent him a sympathetic smile knowing he would be disappointed even if he didn't show it.

'I will assist Jonas Quinn.' Teal'c said.

_And I'll take care of the Colonel._ Sam's words were unspoken but shared nonetheless. Teal'c inclined his head and departed.

Sam hurried into the infirmary room and paused at the side of the bed when she realised the Colonel was unconscious. Her eyes darted to Janet worriedly.

'Don't worry.' Janet said indicating she should take a seat. 'He's going to be in and out for the next few days.'

Sam bit her lip but nodded.

'And Sam?' Janet waited until Sam looked at her before continuing. 'He may change his mind and decide he doesn't want you here and if he does, he may not break that to you in a sensitive way.'

'I understand.' Sam was just inwardly pleased that he'd asked for her initially.

'Don't read anything into it, OK?' Janet cautioned.

Sam nodded again. She'd experienced for herself how brutally blunt Daniel had been when he had been going through withdrawal, she was prepared. Mostly. She wasn't entirely certain she wouldn't feel some kind of hurt if the Colonel threw her out. There was a gnawing fear in the pit of her stomach that at some point in his distress he may very well blame her for his predicament. Her lips firmed. She could take whatever he dished out.

She hoped.

She watched as Janet finished up her observations and hung the chart on the bottom of the bed. The doctor gave her an encouraging smile and stepped out, leaving the door open.

Sam manoeuvred the stool a little closer to the bed and let her gaze roam freely on over the Colonel's form. He looked thin; the dark shadow of his jaw highlighting the drawn unusual pallor of his skin; so unlike his usual tanned, healthy self. There were bandages around his wrists where he had been restrained and leads snaked out of the bed and into various monitoring equipment. One beeped steadily with his heart-beat.

She let herself breathe out slowly.

He was alive. He was safe. They just had to help him recover.

She wondered not for the first time how they did that. How did someone recover from what Jack had endured? They'd all been tortured, and she remembered being experimented on like a worthless lab rat herself with less equanimity that she would have hoped for months after the event, but...somehow the Colonel's experience felt worse. Being tortured to death only to be revived and tortured again...how had he withstood it?

'Carter?' Jack's whisper had her head whirling around to meet his unfocused gaze sharply.

'Sir?' She slipped off the stool and moved closer. 'You need some water? Ice chips?'

He stared at her for a long moment as though he couldn't believe it was her. 'Ice chips.'

She picked up the small carton the nurse had left and awkwardly spooned some into his mouth. He swallowed them down and gestured for more. She did it again. And a third time until he pushed her hand away. She wished she knew what he was thinking; his dark eyes were shadowed and guarded. Her stomach clenched as he opened his mouth; she was sure he was about to send her away.

'I can feel you.' Jack said bluntly.

Her eyes widened.

'Tingles.' Jack explained. He frowned. 'Unless that's the...'

'No, no.' Sam gave a sympathetic smile. 'It's the naquadah, sir.'

He grimaced.

'You only have trace amounts. Less than me or Cassie.' Sam continued. 'It's unlikely that you'll be able to use the Goa'uld technology but you may be able to sense the Goa'uld and past hosts like we can especially in close proximity.'

He didn't reply; his dark eyes intent on hers for a long moment.

'If I, I mean, if it makes you uncomfortable,' Sam began hesitantly, indicating the door. He followed her gesturing hand. For another heart-stopping second she thought he would send her away and looked down so he wouldn't see her disappointment. She was oblivious to the indecision that flashed across his face, the brief glimpse of raw need.

'What day is it, Carter?'

Sam raised her eyes in surprise and took a deep breath, feeling slightly light-headed that he had decided to let her stay. She had to think about the answer to his question; she'd lost track. 'Tuesday, sir.'

'Tuesday.' His dark eyes held hers. 'How long was I out?'

'Just over three days.' Sam told him.

'And what about before that?'

'You were gone for three weeks and some days with the Tok'ra and then three or four days, uh.'

'With Ba'al.' Jack forced himself to say the name.

'Yes.' Sam wiped her palms on the sides of her BDUs and placed one hand on his bed beside his arm. Not close enough to touch him but closer. 'You need anything else, sir?'

'Talk to me, Carter.' Jack invited gruffly.

'What about?' Sam said, suddenly unsure why she had thought she could be there for him; could help him.

'Anything.' Jack's eyes closed. 'Just...talk.'

'OK.' Sam pulled the stool up closer and slid onto it. 'I've been working on the X303 designs. We think we have a way of capturing the naquadria power burst and funnelling it into a buffer which will help us calculate the power usage more accurately. And we think the ship at Steveston will help us do that...'

'Ship?' Jack questioned without opening his eyes.

'Yes.' Sam's lips twisted. 'We had a mission while you were gone. Apparently, Adrian Conrad's project was ongoing although we didn't know it. He had some geneticists cloning the Goa'uld symbiote he eventually used. They actually were successful in genetically modifying the symbiotes and finding a kill switch for them. Anyway, the clones got loose and took over the population of a town called Steveston to build a ship intending to leave Earth; we were alerted and investigated.' She sighed. 'Actually the NID already knew about it.'

'Figures.' Jack whispered.

Sam gave a small smile at the familiar caustic tone. 'They were waiting for the ship to be finished or so they claimed.'

'You shut it down.' There was no hint of a question in Jack's voice and she looked back at him to find him looking at her with nothing but pride.

She nodded. 'We did, sir. The ship is being taken apart and transported back to Area 51.'

'How was Jonas?' Jack asked.

'Good, sir.' Sam commented, knowing he wanted to know how their newest team-mate was adjusting. 'It was his observations that led to the discovery of the ship.'

Jack looked at her evenly. 'What aren't you telling me?'

She shifted on the stool. 'I, uh, well, I might have been taken briefly as a host by one of the Goa'uld symbiotes, sir.' She grimaced. 'It's fine. The kill switch worked perfectly so it was only for a few minutes.'

Jack's eyebrows shot up. 'And you were going to tell me when?'

'I was waiting until you were conscious, sir.' Sam pointed out.

'Ah.' Jack's lips twitched. 'I guess I have been out of it for a couple of days. The last thing I remember is you bringing me some water.'

She smiled sadly in response.

'So you got snaked?' Jack gestured at her, his gaze filled with a warm concern that flooded over her like sunshine. 'You OK?'

'Surprisingly good.' Sam admitted and tried a smile. 'It's not like it's the first time.'

'We do seem to be making a habit of it.' Jack said. 'We should really stop that, Carter.'

'You know we've both been a host to a Goa'uld and a Tok'ra symbiote.' Sam murmured.

Jack grimaced. 'Weird.'

'Definitely.' Sam agreed. 'Weird.'

'So...' Jack's face suddenly contorted and his muscles tensed.

'Sir?'

He reached out and grabbed her hand. 'Talk, Carter. Anything.'

'Shouldn't I...' Sam motioned toward the door as though that would explain her intent to get the medical staff.

'No!' Jack gripped her hand tightly. 'Just talk, damn it!'

She searched for a topic as she wrapped her free hand on top of his, watching as he helplessly shuddered. 'I think we might need to focus on redesigning the X302's hyperspace engine to incorporate the buffer idea so we can still include the technology in our gliders. Oh, and Teal'c's been checking progress on the Alpha site every week so you don't need to worry...'

She felt Jack's grip slacken as the convulsions eased but kept talking – anything and everything that came into her head. Eventually, Jack slipped back into sleep and Sam stumbled to a halt.

Tears sprang into her eyes and she hurriedly blinked them away in case he woke and saw her. She had wanted to be there for him so much but she wondered if she had the strength to continue. She frowned heavily at the thought. He had wanted her there so she would stay. It was the least she could do for him. He had kept hold of her hand and she loathed to pull it away. She settled on the stool and waited. She would be there when he woke up and she would talk to him again. She would continue talking to him as long as he needed her.

o-O-o

The planet Oma had left him on was peaceful and Daniel had taken the opportunity to explore it; primarily to have something to occupy his thoughts and keep him away from Earth. He'd found ruins on the other side of the lake. A tall white temple had once stood proudly on its banks. It was a mess of half-crumbled walls and broken glass. Daniel treated it like a normal excavation. He hunted and dug through the dirt and debris, lining up objects, cataloguing in his head what they were.

The ruins had belonged to the Ancients; to the builders of the Stargates. He had found some interesting writing carved on white marble tiles in what appeared to be a central courtyard. It was a covenant of some kind; an agreement to self-determination and free will; it denied something called Origin.

Daniel theorised briefly that the temple had been raised to the worship of science rather than to any God; that Origin was some kind of religion. Perhaps the Ancients had endured a religious fractioning of their society similar to the turmoil that had once almost torn Europe apart when Christianity had found itself at odds with science.

His fingers traced over the word Origin. What was the religion? What did it espouse that had rendered such a condemnation of its views? There was nothing else in the ruins to explain.

The marble wording drew his eye again: _'we seek that all should hold their own destiny in their hands and none shall interfere.'_

A shiver darted down his spine. It sounded so similar to the non-interference directive that the Other Ascended Beings ascribed to that he couldn't help wonder if there was a connection. He spoke the words aloud again in Ancient.

'That they will succeed or fail on the strength of their own wits and talents; that they will seek not power but knowledge.' A woman's voice continued when his fell way.

He turned around, trying hard to hide his surprise. Another Ascended Being sat on a rickety stone bench just behind him. She appeared a forty-something year old woman with sharp, intelligent features. His heart pounded uncomfortably. Had she come to punish him for helping Jack? Why else would he be approached? The Others kept their distance and he'd only made the acquaintance of Orlin because he was as much of an outcast as Daniel.

She patted the bench and he moved to sit beside her. Her white dress glowed with her power; her pale skin luminescent. 'Welcome to the Isle of Apples, Doctor Jackson.' Her smile flashed at him, knowing and secretive all at the same time as he took a seat. Her dark, inscrutable eyes waited on his expectantly.

'The Isle of Apples.' Daniel searched his memory. 'Said to be the one of the domains of Morgan Le Fay in Arthurian legend.' His blue eyes widened on the woman. 'Are you suggesting you're Morgan?'

She lifted a shoulder brushing the edges of her brunette hair. 'It has been one of my names.' She breathed in deeply, her face turning towards the silvery lake. 'It has been many years since I was here. It was my home once.'

'It must have been beautiful.' Daniel commented. His gaze strayed back to the building. He could almost imagine the ivory towers at each corner; the quiet serenity of the courtyard in which they stood.

'There was an archway through that wall.' Morgan pointed. 'It provided a picture window of the lake. I would sit here at sunset and watch as the water turned to gold and silver.'

'You miss it.' Daniel realised.

'It was another life.' Morgan answered. 'But yes.' She smoothed her skirt. 'You have questions, Doctor Jackson.'

'Call me Daniel, and yes, I have lots of questions.' Daniel said prompting them both to smile. His mind raced with questions about her; was she really Morgan? Had she lived in Arthurian times? And what about the ruins and the connection between the Ancients and the Ascended Beings? Not to mention...

'You're struggling to understand our rules.'

'Not so much struggling to understand them,' Daniel admitted, 'as...'

'To abide by them?' Morgan supplied with twinkling eyes. 'It is a hard task to bear when one has not released all ties to those left behind.'

'Yes.' Daniel didn't even try to deny it although he wondered if he should.

Morgan sighed. 'Ah, an honest man.' She looked at him speculatively. 'Tell me: did you Ascend for knowledge or power?'

'I'm not sure.' Daniel frowned; unsure why he felt so compelled to confess all to her. She continued to regard him evenly as though she had guessed at his uncertainty and was waiting for him to make a decision. He sighed heavily. 'Sometimes I think it had nothing to do with either.'

'Ascension was an escape from your old life.' Morgan surmised.

He couldn't deny the charge. 'And sometimes, I think it was for both.' He answered, directing them back to the question. He leaned forward, his gaze on the lake. 'I'm an archaeologist. Or I was.' He waved a hand. 'My previous life was all about the search for knowledge, trying to understand where humanity came from; why we're here.' He stopped. 'But the last five years of that, I was part of something...a mission to protect my world and that was about finding both knowledge and power.'

'And now you're Ascended you realise you have knowledge but cannot use the power it brings to further your mission.' Morgan surmised.

Daniel nodded. 'Or to help the people I care about.'

'Tell me, Daniel,' Morgan said quietly, drawing his attention back to her, 'do you believe everyone should have the right to choose their own destiny?'

'Theoretically.' Daniel agreed.

'Because practically, the choice is more often assumed as real than real.' Morgan supplied his argument. 'It is a rare individual who holds enough power and knowledge that they are free to determine their own destiny.'

Daniel nodded, rising to the intellectual debate. 'Governments encroach on the rights of the individual; other individuals encroach on each other. A wife may determine a destiny for her husband,' his eyes saddened as he remembered Sha're, 'and vice versa.'

'Those with power whether political or emotional determine the destiny of those they hold power over.' Morgan agreed. 'Those of us with power must always question whether its use is justified.'

'I get that.' Daniel argued. 'I do but...' he gestured at her, 'shouldn't we also question whether its non-use is justified? What about when the choice is black and white? When we don't use our power, when we stand by and do nothing, and we allow someone, or something, to determine a destiny for an individual or whole society who ends up with no choice at all? How is that right?'

Morgan tilted her head. 'Things are generally never completely black and white, Daniel.'

'But when they are?'

'A pebble may drop into a lake so deep that the ripples only travel under water.' Morgan murmured.

Daniel's lips twisted at the cryptic answer. 'So because we can't see the ramifications we shouldn't act?'

'Do two wrongs make a right?' Morgan countered.

'Before I joined the Stargate programme I would have said no.' Daniel mused. 'But now...I would say sometimes.' He thought of Jack; of Ba'al. At what he, Daniel, had done; what he hadn't. 'I guess I believe in the maxim that all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.'

'Then you have the answer to your struggle, Daniel.' Morgan said softly.

Daniel blinked as he tried to go back over their discussion and see where she had determined his course because he just felt the same deep sense of confusion. 'I do?' he smiled shyly. 'Maybe you could explain it to me again.'

Morgan gave a laugh. 'I believe you know why you agreed to Ascend, Daniel, and when you realise the whole truth for yourself, you will have your answer. Let me ask you this: have you ever wondered why Oma Ascended you?'

Her question arrowed through him. He hadn't questioned Oma's decision to help him. He had simply assumed she'd seen something in him; potential – just as the Asgard saw potential in Jack.

Morgan's eyes suddenly shifted to the side of him and Daniel turned his head. Oma stood there silently; watchful.

'Oma.' Morgan said respectfully.

'Ganas Lal.'

The two women exchanged a deep look and Daniel flushed. He had an idea that they were having an entire conversation about him that he really didn't want to know about.

Morgan turned back to him as she rose to her feet; her form shimmering and giving way to pure white energy. 'I believe I shall enjoy our acquaintance, Daniel.' She disappeared into the lake without another word, leaving Daniel alone with Oma.

Daniel turned to her, Morgan's last question at the forefront of his mind. 'Why did you Ascend me?'

'What do you believe?' Oma countered.

'I asked first.' He didn't care if he sounded like a petulant child but he wanted a straight answer.

Oma looked at him for so long he thought she wouldn't answer and when she did, she disappeared a heartbeat later, leaving him with only one word echoing in his mind and through the small desolate courtyard. _Balance._

o-O-o

Jack shrugged on the soft cotton shirt and winced at the remaining soreness in his muscles. He was whipcord lean; barely muscle over skeleton. Fraiser had ordered him to put on weight but he had yet to regain his appetite. He wasn't sure he ever would. He was filled with a restless listlessness that made him twitchy and apathetic at the same time.

Withdrawal really sucked, Jack thought succinctly. The only bright spot had been that he'd spent most of it with Carter. It scared him a little how close he had been to sending her way. He could remember the moment he'd decided to hell with it; she'd had been standing in front of him, staring at her feet and looking as though she had known his intention and then he'd caught the faint scent of her shampoo; that orangey scent that filled him with security and the sense that he was home and he just couldn't do it.

It had worked out even if Jack remained a touch embarrassed at how much she'd seen. Not that she hadn't already seen him in the field throwing up his guts before or in pain...it was jarring to realise that really he had few secrets where she was concerned apart from the obvious ones; that he loved her, needed her, wanted her. Jack grimaced and did up the remaining buttons.

For three days, Carter had talked and he had listened. He really had no idea what she had been saying most of the time. It had just been soothing to hear her voice talking him through the seizures; lulling him to sleep, with her scent anchoring him to reality and keeping the nightmares at bay. It had been like a moment out of time; just the two of them. It had slowly eked away like bubbles disappearing on bath-water. He had grown stronger and she had returned to the work she had ignored since his return.

The tell-tale clip hop of Fraiser's heels had him turning to the door to greet the doctor. He felt a frisson of guilt as he set eyes on her petite form. He'd heard about his attack on her, Peters and Carter. It chilled his blood every time he considered it. Something else he would have to discuss with Mackenzie, Jack thought wryly.

'Colonel.' Janet held up the clipboard she held and ran her eyes over him assessing him objectively as thought to confirm her decision. 'Your discharge papers from the infirmary.'

'Great.' Jack said brightly. 'No offence, Doc, but I can't wait to blow this popsicle stand.'

'You're officially on medical leave, sir.' Janet said, ignoring his comment. 'Your first session with Doctor Mackenzie is scheduled for a week tomorrow; oh-nine-hundred. Please be on time.'

'Wouldn't miss it.' Jack muttered, trying hard to ignore that a large part of him wanted to miss it. If he never cleared the psych eval he would never have to go back; never risk falling into Ba'al's hands again...

'Are you sure you don't want to stay local, sir?' Janet asked suddenly.

'My cabin is the perfect place for R&R, Doc.' Jack countered. 'Trust me on this.'

Janet sighed. 'I want you to call in for the first two days.' She held up a hand. 'Just one call every twenty-four hours. I'm not convinced shutting yourself off from civilisation is the way to go here, Colonel, and unless you want me restricting you to base...'

Jack glowered at her, more for effect than in truth. 'You drive a hard bargain.'

She simply smiled and departed.

Jack buttoned his cuffs and stuffed his feet into the waiting boots. He'd just finished tying up the laces when Hammond and Carter both entered.

'General.' His eyes drifted left to Carter. 'Major.' He waved at them as he pulled on his leather jacket.

'I just wanted to stop by and wish you a good journey, Jack.' Hammond tilted his bald head. 'And to let you know the talks with the Tok'ra are proceeding.'

Jack pulled a face. Hammond had informed him of the Tok'ra's request to hand him over to be brought to account for Kanan's death. It would have confirmed everything he had ever suspected about their so-called ally if Kanan's blatant use of his body hadn't already confirmed it for him. 'Jonas and Teal'c still keeping Davis company?'

'They are.' Hammond agreed. 'I'll be heading off-world myself to join them in a few days.'

Jack shrugged. 'Let me know how it turns out.' He stated dryly.

'You'll be the first informed, Colonel.' Hammond promised with an understanding smile. He reached over and Jack shook the proffered hand. 'Car's waiting for you on top. Take care of yourself, Jack. Enjoy the fishing.' He left before Jack could make any further comment.

He found himself alone with Carter.

'I hear you're off to Area 51.' Jack commented, reaching for his small leather bag. 'Checking up on McCoy?'

Sam smiled. 'They've made some good progress on the engines and I want to go over the designs for the shields and defences.'

His lips twitched; she hadn't denied his assertion or corrected his deliberate mangling of McKay's name. 'Walk me to the elevator?'

She nodded and they walked out of the infirmary room.

'So,' Sam said brightly, half-turning to shoot him a teasing look, 'fishing?'

'Fishing.' Jack confirmed. He was looking forward to it; he was. The solitude; the beer; the familiarity of his routine there. It was only missing one thing. 'Shame you can't come with.' The words left his mouth before he registered he'd even said them.

They both came to a stumbling halt in the corridor, thankfully and serendipitously in front of the elevators.

Jack hastened to reassure her seeing her blue eyes widen impossibly as though she couldn't quite believe she'd heard him. The last time he had invited her fishing, his invitation had been fraught with other connotations and they both knew it. 'I mean, as a friend; colleague.' He hurriedly pushed the call button. 'Obviously.'

Sam gave a pained smile. 'Of course, sir.'

'But then I'm sure you'll have fun with your doohickey.' Jack commented. He pushed the call button again, and hoped the action didn't look as frantic as it felt.

'It's the X303, sir.' Sam pointed out as though a spacecraft as large as the Titanic didn't qualify as a doohickey.

'Your big doohickey.' Jack corrected. He gave a sigh of relief as the elevator doors opened. 'Bye, Carter.'

'Bye, sir.'

It was only as the elevator doors slid shut that he realised how disappointed she had looked. He froze. Was she disappointed that he had brought it up again and alluded to what they'd once had or was she disappointed that she couldn't come with him – and if so what did that mean exactly?

Damn it! Jack stared up at the floor counter. He had to stop thinking about Carter that way; had to stop wanting more. The temptation to ask her fishing had been so strong he had almost tasted it. And he wanted her with him despite his very real need to metaphorically lick his wounds in private.

No.

It was best he didn't let himself get carried away by the friendship and care she'd given him since his return. He wasn't unaware that some of it was based on Carter's guilt about asking him to take the symbiote. And on some level, he wasn't quite ready to admit to, he knew he had agreed to it because it had been Carter who'd asked. He probably should talk to her about that.

Guilt. That's all it was. And friendship. They were friends. Colleagues. Team-mates.

But what if she felt more?

The question hung tantalisingly in his mind as though suspended on gossamer wings.

What if the last few weeks had resurrected her feelings for him? Jack hovered in the compartment as the elevator doors slid open. He wanted to press the button to go back down, to hunt her out and ask her.

He stepped out of the elevator and watched as the doors slid depressingly closed behind him. Even if Carter's feelings had resurfaced, it was madness for him to encourage them or to show her they were reciprocated as he had done before. They'd just end up back where they'd been almost two years before and he couldn't do that. He'd learned his lesson the last time; he'd failed to protect her as a senior officer, as a man, and had ended up with Carter lying on the floor dead and the weapon that killed her in his hand.

He nodded at the SF as he leaned down to sign out. No, if some of Carter's feelings had resurfaced better to ignore it. She would move on again just as she had before. After all, he was still ostensibly her CO even if he was having difficulty thinking about returning to the programme...

What if he didn't come back?

The thought arrested him mid-step.

'Sir?'

The SF looked at him with concern and Jack shook himself, waving away the young man's concern. He took the final elevator out of the mountain. He strode out to the waiting car. It would take him to Petersen and the helicopter which Hammond had arranged to take him to the cabin. He wasn't sure he deserved the special treatment but he wasn't saying no; Fraiser had made it clear it was the only way she would countenance his travelling.

The driver moved swiftly on Jack's approach opening the back seat of the car and reaching for Jack's bag. Jack allowed him to take it and got in. He settled back on the cushions as the driver retook his seat and the car pulled away from the entrance. He closed his eyes.

Maybe it was time to consider retirement again, Jack mused. God knew he couldn't go through what he'd gone through with Ba'al again. The thought of it had the ability to steal his breath; to make him shiver; to turn his stomach. He shuddered and swallowed to rid himself of the metallic taste of fear that coated his suddenly dry mouth.

How could he lead if he was scared to the bone? How could he protect his team? Retirement sparkled like a shiny temptation. Maybe it was time to call it day. He'd done more for his country, heck – world, than most. OK, so it had been partially, mostly, his fault that they'd begun the war with the Goa'uld but he'd fought them for over five years since, taking them down one by one, and trying to pretend there wasn't another one always waiting to take their place. Maybe he'd done his share; his penance.

_Daniel_ had moved on. He'd taken his way out. SG1 had already been broken apart so it wasn't like Jack would be responsible for dismantling the team. Despite Jonas's inclusion and the solid performance the Kelownan had contributed in his short time with them, SG1 wasn't the same without Daniel. Jack couldn't pretend that for him it didn't quite have the invincibility factor anymore. He had once thought SG1, the unique combination of the team, was vital to winning the war but maybe it wasn't. After all, they hadn't won an all-out victory when Daniel was on the team and maybe they never would. Maybe it was time for him to make an exit too. His fingers tapped restlessly against his thigh.

Retirement.

He could retire.

And perhaps, maybe, possibly, that might create an opportunity for him and Carter. If she still felt something for him. Which she probably didn't. Why would she? He was a mess. Tortured; battered. What could a vibrant woman like Carter possibly see in him? He was probably just making too much of her friendship over the past few days.

Jack sighed.

It seemed he had a lot of thinking to do during his week at the cabin.

Continued in Part 3.


	30. Finding Solid Ground: Part III

**The Finding Solid Ground Trilogy**

**Part 3: Solid Ground**

General Hammond was a brilliant shade of red. Jonas wasn't certain it was usual and from the worried look on Doctor Fraiser's face neither was she. Both the General and the CMO had joined Major Davis, Jonas and Teal'c at the agreed neutral base of the Land of Light the day before.

The talks had actually proceeded smoothly that morning while the first of the Tok'ra's grievances – informing Yu of the intelligence they had on Ba'al – was discussed. Hammond had graciously conceded that the decision to inform Yu had not been agreed with their allies and had served only Earth's interests in a singular matter. The Tok'ra had conceded in vague terms that there had been no real reason to keep the intelligence from Yu; only that they had now lost the opportunity to have done it themselves at an opportunity of their own making.

It had been a polite and careful dialogue that had taken Major Davis and Jonas days to construct. Both parties had broken for lunch with a faintly pleased air that they would get through the current chill in relations.

However, within moments of resuming for lunch, any positive vibes had been thoroughly stamped on by the arrival of Thoran. His impassioned argument against Colonel O'Neill was the reason why the General had gone so red. Jonas could understand why. He might not have the easiest relationship with the Colonel but Thoran's accusations painted the Colonel as some maverick rebel who didn't care who he hurt in the pursuit of his own interests. It was not a description of Jack O'Neill Jonas recognised.

Teal'c vibrated in anger beside him. Clearly Thoran's words had dishonoured a man the Jaffa considered a brother. Jonas was given to understand that on Jaffa worlds, Thoran's actions would have allowed Teal'c to challenge him in combat. Jonas was half-sorry they had agreed on neutral territory.

The doctor frowned in concern at the red-faced General and looked across at Davis with a pointed expression.

Davis evidently got the message. He leaned forward urgently as Thoran wound to a halt. 'Perhaps a short recess is called for before we respond to Thoran's charges against Colonel O'Neill.'

Garshaw stood up eagerly. 'I would like to second that idea, Per'sus.'

The Supreme High Councillor bowed his head. 'Agreed. A short recess.'

The Tok'ra filed out and the small Tau'ri delegation made their way to the private ante-chamber they had been assigned. SG3 immediately moved to guard the door as the rest of them took seats at the small table.

Janet poured some water into a glass and pushed it in the direction of the General. 'Sir.'

Hammond glowered at her but took the drink and swallowed a large gulp. 'Options.'

'We cannot allow Thoran's accusations against O'Neill to go unchallenged.' Teal'c growled.

'And we won't.' Davis assured him. 'I personally don't believe the Tok'ra High Council believes Colonel O'Neill culpable. I think they are trying to find a way to a compromise.'

'They're not making it easy for us, Major.' Hammond commented dryly.

'That they even allowed half of what was said to be said...' Janet sighed. 'I'm just pleased the Colonel isn't here to hear it.'

'Well, some of the accusations are easily dismissed.' Jonas pointed out. 'We can show that the Colonel's record; his pattern of honesty and integrity. The Tok'ra Korra has come forward to provide a character reference following the events where the Colonel helped save his life.'

'And Shallan is prepared to testify that Kanan told her his host was unaware of the rescue.' Davis added. 'The fact that the Colonel followed through on Kanan's mission and rescued her has to count for something.'

'Thoran has already used that against us.' Janet pointed out. 'He's argued that it's a sign that the Colonel was the one who pressed for the mission.'

'Shallan can testify however that the Colonel found her accidentally and rescued her. He wasn't looking for her.' Davis responded.

'She's also agreed to talk about the torture Colonel O'Neill endured.' Jonas added. 'It may help the Council to set what has happened to the Colonel into context.'

'You mean for them to realise he's been through enough?' Janet said dryly. 'Let's hope so.'

'Any news on Jacob?' Hammond asked.

Davis shook his head. 'Garshaw continues to claim that he was sent on a vital mission and can't be disturbed.'

'Korra thought he might be able to find out where but he wasn't hopeful of Jacob returning in time for Selmak to testify on the matter of how much a Tau'ri host can influence a symbiote.' Jonas murmured, gesturing with a pen.

'Are you comfortable on how you're going to respond to Thoran, sir?' Davis tentatively asked.

Hammond swallowed down the rest of the water in response.

There was a respectful knock on the door and Hammond called for the person to enter.

Major Pierce stuck his head around the door. 'Sir, they're requesting your presence in the Council chamber.'

Hammond sighed and put the empty glass back on the table. Jonas was relieved that his colour had gone back to normal.

'Let's get back to it, people.' Hammond ordered.

Jonas fell into step beside Teal'c. 'You OK?'

Teal'c inclined his head. 'I will not dishonour General Hammond by killing Thoran where he stands.'

'Good to know.' Jonas said under his breath as they retook their seats.

Per'sus gestured at Hammond. 'You may respond to Thoran's charges.'

Hammond stood. His uniform provided him with an air of gravity; the formal blue suit such a contrast to the pale beige and sand colours favoured by the Tok'ra. The medals he wore hinted at his own bravery and courage. He was the picture of a leader.

Jonas felt a moment's pride that he had the opportunity to metaphorically stand beside him.

'I will respond.' Hammond stated, his Texan accent rolling through the short, sharp words. 'We refute every accusation Thoran makes against Colonel Jack O'Neill.'

His pale blue eyes glittered. 'Colonel O'Neill is a decorated officer who has risked his life several times both on behalf of the Tau'ri and the Tok'ra. There is not a man nor woman nor symbiote in this room that does not owe their lives to the bravery and the courage of the Colonel and the rest of SG1.' He waited until they all looked away shame-faced and uncomfortable. 'I fail to understand why these charges are even tolerated.'

Thoran sprang to his feet.

'I haven't finished, son.' Hammond bit out. 'You had a lot to say.' He took a breath as Thoran subsided unhappily. 'Colonel O'Neill does find the idea of blending difficult. Unsurprising, since he saw a close friend taken as an unwilling host and forced to act in a threatening manner to loved ones and colleagues.' He glared around the chamber and stabbed a finger on the table in front of him. 'That incident involved a Tok'ra symbiote not a Goa'uld.'

Hammond drew himself up as he let his words sink into the gathered Tok'ra. 'While Jolinar did eventually save Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill was witness to her struggle to recover in the aftermath; as was I. Believe me when I say that no-one should have to go through that.'

'Perhaps if you had seen her pain and distress as he did, you also would think twice about blending. And Colonel O'Neill was quite clear: he would not take a symbiote to save his own life.' Hammond said passionately. 'We have video evidence we can supply of his conversation with Major Carter if you so wish but I was present and can confirm his refusal. Yet on hearing that a symbiote required a host to impart vital intelligence he agreed.'

Thoran glowered at Hammond. Jonas noticed the studied way Hammond ignored him, focusing instead on the Councillors.

'This is the type of man Jack O'Neill is: one who puts duty before self, before his own needs and wants.' Hammond suddenly turned and stared straight at Thoran. 'That is who he is.'

Hammond let his gaze roam for a moment. 'Yes, I have seen Jack O'Neill disobey an order; I've seen him disobey _my_ orders but never without reason and never for selfish purposes.'

He shifted; his chin going up. 'Let's set aside the fact that we were promised, and that both Kanan and the Colonel confirmed that the Colonel spent his time as a host mostly unconscious to prevent the exchange of information between host and symbiote.' His cutting tone gave away his views on the Tok'ra's sudden retraction of the fact.

'You accuse him of pressurising Kanan into going back for Shallan because it was what Jack wanted. I put it to you that he would never have risked the safety of Earth or its allies on such a strategically risky operation and, further, if he had agreed to the mission, he would have ensured he was not caught and certainly not caught alive.'

Jonas let his own gaze roam over the gathering. He could see some nodding; others were looking down as though uncomfortable having been faced with the truth. There were still a few though who looked perturbed and a few who looked angry. Thoran's supporters, Jonas surmised.

'But he was caught and tortured repeatedly; killed repeatedly; brought back to life in the sarcophagus repeatedly.' Hammond stabbed his finger at them with each statement. 'And this is the man who you now want to put through further torment.'

Thoran stood up suddenly. 'He dishonours Kanan by claiming he acted against O'Neill's will. I will not stand for it!'

'Thoran!' Per'sus cautioned him but Hammond was already replying.

'And because you can't live with the truth of that, you want to blame Jack.' Hammond glared at Thoran. 'I'm here to tell you I won't let you do that!'

'And neither will I.' Jacob Carter's voice rang out from the entrance of the Council Chamber. He looked around as the Council stirred anxiously, a babble of noise breaking out amongst the members at his unexpected arrival. 'Just what the hell is going on here?'

o-O-o

_He was tired. He was sick of fawning over the pretentious Goa'uld yet he knew he must if Ba'al was to remain unsuspicious and, one day, hopefully to trust him. He knew the information he sought was in Ba'al's chambers but the question of access remained somewhat sticky._

_He entered his quarters and paused at the sight of the woman in his bed; tousled short blonde hair, wide inquisitive eyes and a slim body that he had already explored all too thoroughly for the past week. The firelight cast its gold and red flames across her skin, painting her in the stripes of a feral animal._

_Ba'al would kill them both if they were discovered._

_He threw off his robes and walked to the bed; she rose from the tangle of sheets and blankets to meet his kiss; their bodies pressing closer..._

'_Carter.' He whispered her name as his mouth moved to her jaw, suckled on her neck and moved downward._

_She gave a sigh and shifted, arching. 'Kanan.' _

Jack woke abruptly, eyes flying open, heart pounding in his chest. He stared up at the familiar ceiling in his bedroom at the cabin and waited for his breathing to return to normal. He rubbed his hands over his face.

Damn it.

That was the third night in a row he'd had the same dream...nightmare...flashback. God, it – he – was a mess!

It was a memory. Jack knew that. It was one of the few memories of Kanan's that he remembered, and he could remember the exact moment he had recalled it for the first time...

'_Tell me why Kanan brought you here.' The whip struck his back; the lance of pain horrific with the acid already burning through his blood. Ba'al almost sounded bored._

'_I don't know.'_

'_Why the girl?' Two strikes._

'_I told you; I don't know.' His voice was little more than a whisper._

'_What could be so important about her?' The third stroke drove the breath from Jack's body and the memory rushed through him in its place; Kanan and Shallan, their bodies entwined, pleasure that wasn't his humming through his veins. Kanan loved her: that was why she was important, why he had come back for her...she had betrayed Ba'al for him. _

Jack sat up in the bed and stared at the shadowy forms of the furniture: the old chest of drawers that took up the wall opposite; the large oak wardrobe that his grandfather had built; a love seat by the window with a view of the lake.

He pushed the covers back and dressed only in his boxers, headed for the kitchen. The small space was lit up by a patch of moonlight and Jack didn't bother with an artificial light. He pulled out a beer from the refrigerator and knocked the top off using the edge of a counter. He took a long swallow before he wandered out of the cabin and onto the dock.

It was cold. Not as cold as it could have been but cold. He could see the remains of the ice on the surface of the pond. His skin burned with the wind chill but he ignored it and continued down to the edge of the dock. He sat down, knees bent and drawn up, elbows resting over them, his hand dangling the beer with a steady grip on the bottle.

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

Better than a cold shower, Jack mused with some semblance of the wry humour that always accompanied him in the field as one of his survival tools. That he was employing it on Earth at his cabin where he should have felt safe was something he didn't want to look at too closely.

He picked at the label on the bottle. Every time he considered Kanan's memory, he felt like a voyeur. He knew what it was like to make love to Shallan as though he had been the one lying in a bed with her yet he knew the memory wasn't his. He wondered briefly if Carter had felt the same way about memories of Jolinar and Martouf before he pushed that thought away rapidly; he really didn't want to know, didn't want to consider Carter and the Tok'ra being intimate in any way shape or form.

Jack took another long gulp of beer.

Of course, the problem wasn't that he was dreaming about Kanan and Shallan; the problem was that somehow his subconscious brain was substituting him and Carter in the memory.

His jaw clenched. It wasn't the first time he had dreamed about him, Carter and a bed. There had been times before he had loved her when he'd dreamed about her, fantasises that seemed all too possible when they'd discovered their feelings were mutual, and dreams since despite his insistence on publically being nothing more than friends and team-mates. He was an adult; he was a man; dreaming about sex, making love, was a healthy, normal state of being. But these dreams...

It seemed wrong; perverse. He didn't want to dream about Carter in Shallan's place; he didn't want to dream about Shallan. And he sure as heck didn't want to assume Kanan's place or dream that Carter called him Kanan.

Jack drank down the rest of the beer and set the bottle aside. The chill cooled his flushed face and made him shiver. He slowly got up, grimacing when his limbs and joints protested with stiffness. He realised he couldn't feel the wood beneath the soles of his feet they were that numb with cold as he walked back to the cabin.

He burrowed back into his bed and let the blankets warm his body. He closed his eyes. Mackenzie would probably have a field day with the symbolism, Jack thought miserably. Not that he had any intention of talking to Mackenzie about the memory, and certainly not about Carter's role in his little remix of a dream.

Jack pulled the blankets closer. He wasn't stupid. He could figure out all too easily why his mind had swapped him for Kanan, Carter for Shallan. The comparison was too stark and he knew, thanks to Ba'al's memory prompting, that Kanan had only arrived as his insane plan to rescue Shallan after the symbiote had been exposed to Jack's feelings about Carter; to the memory of Carter being one side of a force-shield and facing certain death with him on the other, and knowing he wouldn't leave her.

Not that it excused Kanan's actions but Jack understood the symbiote's decision to go back for the woman he loved more than he wanted to admit; more than he was ever likely to admit. What Kanan hadn't been exposed to was the harsh truth that sometimes duty had to come before love; that sometimes actions had to be taken that went against every feeling felt, every desire wanted.

_Carter stood in the corridor, hands raised to the ceiling, eyes glaring at him because she wasn't Carter; not really. His fingers squeezed the zat, firing the shot that would kill her. _

He sighed and turned over restlessly. It was a pity Kanan hadn't seen that memory; maybe it would have made a difference. And maybe not. Jack absently scratched his bicep. He wasn't sure Kanan would have been dissuaded; the symbiote had wanted to rescue Shallan; Jack's code of ethics and his own actions in regards to not leaving Carter at the force-shield, had simply given Kanan the excuse he'd needed.

He was beginning to wonder whether his nagging urge to retire wasn't rooted in the same selfishness that had determined Kanan's actions.

It was different, Jack thought, pressing his lips together firmly. He'd been through hell with Ba'al; tortured, killed. So what was new, his conscience threw back at him without hesitation. He'd been tortured before; brought back to life before. He'd continued to fight. Why did he want to down tools this time? And what made him so special?

Carter had come through her experience with Conrad; Teal'c had been almost tortured to death by a Goa'uld himself; Daniel by Ammonet; hell, they'd _all_ been tortured by Apophis during their brief visit to Netu.

It was different, Jack thought insistently. But was it, the voice in his argued back. Yes, he'd been tortured and badly with creative techniques that he'd never been subjected to before; it was without question the worst experience of his entire life beyond the moment he'd heard the gunshot that had killed his son. But was it any different really to any of the other times?

Maybe the only difference was that he was older and tired of the fight. Daniel's death had hit him hard; changed things irrevocably in terms of the team; smashed to pieces the illusion of a secure family unit. He'd concluded once that he deserved more in his life than simply burying himself inside the SGC; had tried to build something outside of it with a warm woman who had been great except for the one problem: she wasn't Carter.

Jack almost groaned out loud. It all kept coming back to Carter. And perhaps the reason why he was dreaming of her instead of Ba'al and his torture tricks was because he'd spent the last three days thinking about nothing but her.

He wanted her.

He wanted her more than he ever had before. He was tired of pretending he didn't love her; tired of constantly putting his duty before his feelings for her. He wanted to kiss her; hold her; love her...lose himself in her comfort. He wanted to be with her as selfishly as Kanan had wanted to be with Shallan.

Carter still felt something for him too. He was sure of it. He'd seen more than simple friendship in her expression while she had cared for him during his withdrawal. It wouldn't take much encouragement to fan the flames, reignite what she had felt for him.

Yet if he went to her right that moment, he would go to a broken man. Carter didn't deserve that. She deserved someone whole; someone without his insane baggage.

Which left him exactly nowhere.

And maybe, Jack thought tiredly, he was focusing on his feelings for Carter because he couldn't face the nagging fear that Ba'al had broken him and he was scared he couldn't function as a soldier anymore; couldn't be Colonel Jack O'Neill, SG1 leader anymore. And if he couldn't, who the hell was he? Maybe Daniel had been wrong; maybe he was never going to be OK again. The thought kept him awake until the dawn filtered through the curtains and bathed the bed in sunlight.

o-O-o

The mood in the chamber assigned to the Tok'ra Council was tense. Jacob waited impatiently for them all to get settled so they could begin.

_I think it would be best for me to talk_, Selmak pointed out dryly. He assented to his symbiote without a word. He was too furious to speak and if he did speak he was only likely to say something that would be detrimental to Selmak's standing on the Council. As it was many of the Council members were clearly avoiding his stern and accusing gaze.

Per'sus gathered his robes around him and held up a hand. The quiet murmur of voices petered out. He cleared his throat. 'Jacob, Selmak. We had not expected to see you here.'

'That much is evident, Per'sus.' Selmak responded caustically. 'Tell me: have I been voted off the Council?'

'Selmak...'

'Because I do not understand why such a major issue which affects our relationship with our ally, the ally to whom I was appointed liaison, would be decided upon without my opinion being sought and my vote counted.' Selmak spoke over the Supreme High Councillor without remorse. Jacob's eyes flashed as she vented her anger.

_Maybe I should have been the one to speak_, Jacob noted as he registered that Selmak was vibrating with rage.

Selmak ignored him and continued to glare at Per'sus. 'Have you all taken leave of your senses?' Inwardly Jacob winced; he really should have been the one to speak.

'Selmak,' Per'sus sighed, 'we believed that this matter would be a conflict of interest for you...'

'And what about Thoran's conflict of interest?' Selmak retorted.

'We are aware Thoran had a close relationship with Kanan,' Per'sus began.

'He was his brother.' Selmak corrected frostily. 'His accusations are rooted in his grief.'

Mardok, a younger Councillor with bright red hair and a crooked smile, raised his hand. Per'sus recognised him and waved for him to speak. 'Selmak, perhaps some of Thoran's arguments are without foundation but the central concern is valid.'

Selmak looked at him evenly. 'And what would this central concern be exactly?'

Mardok smiled as though Selmak had walked unknowingly into a trap. 'That our alliance with the Tau'ri leads to nothing but trouble and death; that we cannot trust them as hosts.'

Jacob was as stunned as Selmak as they assimilated the accusation.

_Well, that is new_, Selmak murmured inwardly.

_Do you think they all feel that way_, Jacob asked concerned.

Selmak sighed. _We shall see._ She sat forward. 'You all feel this way?'

'No.' Garshaw gave an apologetic smile to Per'sus but stood. 'I believe our alliance with the Tau'ri has been beneficial and I see no evidence that they cannot be trusted as hosts.'

'The evidence is before your eyes.' Mardok claimed. 'Shallan has admitted that Kanan told her he was influenced by O'Neill's belief that no-one should be left behind.'

'Hosts and symbiotes have been influencing each other for centuries.' Selmak countered. 'It's hardly an argument that the Tau'ri cannot be trusted as hosts. And as we all know, it is possible for a symbiote to resist the wishes of a host; it is impossible for the host to resist the wishes of a symbiote.'

'But if Kanan was so heavily influenced that he acted against his own beliefs...' Mardok continued.

'Then he was weak.' Selmak stated baldly. She gestured. 'Based on Thoran's evidence, either Kanan lied about O'Neill being rendered unconscious which was the stated wish of the host, and so was influenced unduly during the blending, or O'Neill was unconscious and Kanan was influenced only marginally and still used his host's body for his own purposes.'

She looked from Mardok around the rest of the assembled Council. 'We cannot have it both ways, and in either case, whether Kanan was influenced or not, it does not matter: the hard truth is that Kanan broke our highest law: he acted against the agreement of the host and O'Neill suffered for it.'

Per'sus inclined his head. 'You are correct, Selmak.' He looked chagrined. 'I regret to say that we had not followed Thoran's evidence to its proper conclusion in regards to Kanan's actions.'

A murmur broke out around the Council.

'And perhaps in which case, we can put this matter to rest.' Garshaw jumped in. 'I believe that the original decision was flawed and we should withdraw the charges against the Colonel.'

'There is still the matter of how much a Tau'ri host can influence its symbiote.' Mardok said quickly.

Selmak levelled her gaze on the young Councillor. 'I can assure you, Jacob influences me no more or less than any of my previous hosts.'

'Frankly, I'm more bothered about their continuing reluctance to be hosts.' Garshaw added.

'That is also a concern.' Per'sus agreed. 'While I doubt Kanan was influenced entirely by O'Neill, I wonder if blending with such an unwilling host didn't contribute to a,' he struggled to find the words and paused, 'to an imbalance in his judgement.'

'The Tau'ri value freedom and independence.' Selmak said. 'They have no recollection of Ra's rule; they do not know what it is to be born and live under the rule of a Goa'uld.' She gestured at the assembly. 'Our hosts have usually known only slavery. They see a blending as an opportunity as a way to gain freedom. The Tau'ri see symbiosis as a loss of freedom; as a loss of independence. And they will do much to protect that freedom. It is why they fight against the Goa'uld.'

'And perhaps that obsession leads them to fight the Goa'uld recklessly.' Mardok asserted. 'At a cost of Tok'ra lives.'

'One could argue our alliance has led us to recklessly endanger the lives of the Tau'ri when it has suited our purpose.' Selmak pointed out coldly. 'And when they see our symbiotes take hosts by force and use their hosts without regard perhaps it is no wonder that blending with us remains an anathema to them.'

Per'sus held up a hand. 'Let us vote: all those in favour of continuing to charge Colonel O'Neill with unduly influencing Kanan?'

There were a handful of arms raised but a small minority. Jacob felt something inside him unwind with relief.

'All those in favour of withdrawing our protest?' Per'sus nodded at the vast show of hands. 'So be it.' He stood up.

Selmak stayed seated as others followed Per'sus. 'There is still the matter of the Tau'ri's formal protest at O'Neill's treatment.' She said loudly over the rising voices.

Silence descended abruptly.

Per'sus blinked and sank back down. 'What do you suggest?'

'I would suggest a full apology.' Selmak replied evenly. She looked at him coolly. 'Perhaps in our grief over Kanan some have allowed their feelings to cloud them to the fact that at present Earth is our only ally; the only place we have to run to in the immediacy of Anubis's continued attacks; the only one who provides us with weapons and supplies.'

'Actually, Selmak,' Garshaw said with a darting look toward Per'sus who had flushed a bright red, 'I think perhaps it was all too much in our minds how reliant we have become on the Tau'ri.'

_Politics_, Jacob thought derisively; it seemed the Tokra were just as susceptible to posturing as the Tau'ri.

'We will issue a full apology.' Per'sus said tersely. 'Is there any other business?'

Selmak bowed her head slightly. She stayed seated as the others left.

Garshaw paused beside her. 'It is good to see you, old friend.'

'And you.' Selmak replied. It was Jacob who took control and placed his hand on Garshaw's preventing their friend from departing. 'We wish to speak with Thoran.'

'I will arrange it.' Garshaw promised.

Selmak let out a slow breath as the room emptied and they were finally alone.

_Well, that went well,_ Jacob mused. A frisson of the anger he'd felt when they'd arrived fluttered through him again and he didn't know if he still felt aggrieved or whether it was Selmak.

_I don't know either, Jacob_, Selmak admitted with a sigh. Her confusion and hurt at being cut out of the original discussions lingered.

A soft knock disturbed the thought.

'Enter.' Jacob called.

Hammond walked in alone. He nodded at Jacob. 'I saw everyone else leaving.' There was a question in his voice.

Jacob waved at him to sit. 'They're going to drop the charge against Jack and issue an apology, George.'

His old friend slumped into a seat with a huff of air. 'I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that, Jake.'

'I'm just sorry that it took so long for the news to reach me.' Jacob sighed. 'I was buried in a science project in the Risa system.' He looked at Hammond. 'How is Jack?'

'He's alone at his cabin, recovering.' Hammond noted.

'You really think he's going to come back from this?' Jacob asked pointedly.

Hammond sighed and Jacob noticed for the first time how tired George looked beyond the facade of his uniform and parade ground posture. 'I hope so, Jake, because we can't afford to lose someone with his skills.'

'It never seems to get any easier, does it?' Jacob noted with a sigh.

'No.' Hammond grimaced. 'It never does.'

o-O-o

Sam looked up as Jonas entered the elevator.

He smiled at her widely. 'Hey, I heard you were back. How was Area 51?'

'OK.' Sam said shrugging her shoulders. In truth it had been irritating. She'd spent the whole week distracted, thinking about the Colonel and whether he was OK, wondering how he was getting on at his cabin. McKay had finally snapped at her the day before, bluntly pointing out her lack of focus. It galled her to admit that he'd been right although she would rather eat glass than ever admit it to McKay.

'They're making good progress with the engines.' She rolled her head, to ease the tension gathered in her neck muscles. She was tired. Home, she thought longingly. She'd just made her report to Hammond and he had dismissed her. His mild comment that they'd see her in the morning hadn't quite been an order to get her butt off the base but it was close enough. 'I think we're going to have to rethink the shields and defences. We're almost out of the naquadria.'

'Really?' Jonas's smile fell away. 'I guess I never considered how much would be needed.'

He looked so despondent that Sam couldn't help but reach out and touch his arm gently. 'Hey. You brought us more than we thought we'd ever have. We wouldn't have even made the progress we have without you.'

Jonas attempted a smile and Sam realised he was doing it more for her benefit. 'I realise that but it's still disappointing that it wasn't enough.' The thought of whether he had betrayed his world for nothing could have been written across his forehead.

'Whatever we come up with, Jonas,' Sam said firmly, 'whether we use the naquadria or something else, we will share it with you.'

'Thank you.' Jonas said sincerely. 'I appreciate that.'

Sam nodded. She searched around for another topic. 'Congratulations, by the way.'

He glanced across, his uncertainty at why she was praising him written all over his confused face. His openness brought a pang to her heart. Daniel had once had the same inability to hide his thoughts; she wondered when her Ascended friend had learned to mask his feelings, when she'd stopped being able to read him.

She dragged herself back to the present and waved at Jonas. 'You helped get the Tok'ra to drop the charges against the Colonel.'

Jonas lifted the folder he held. 'I think your father and Selmak had more to do with it than us.' He smiled ruefully. 'General Hammond made a great speech though.'

'Which he couldn't have done without all the prep work you and Major Davis put in.' Sam pointed out.

'Maybe.' Jonas allowed. He gestured at her. 'Have you heard from the Colonel?'

Sam shook her head, unwilling to acknowledge the disappointment that he hadn't tried to contact her in his week away or her own confusion on whether she should have checked in with him. 'He's due back tomorrow to begin the psychiatric evaluation but he won't be on duty again until he clears it.'

'I understand that it's usual procedure?' Jonas's natural curiosity shone from his eyes.

'It is.' Sam assured him.

The elevator slid to a halt.

'This is me.' Jonas said. He took a step out and turned to place a hand between the doors to prevent them from closing automatically. 'Hey, if you see the Colonel, can you let him know I'm thinking of him?'

Sam nodded and Jonas let go of the doors. She gave a breath sigh of relief as they slid shut and she was alone.

She clasped her hands behind her back and stared up at the floor indicator. The Colonel had been due to arrive back earlier that day in Colorado Springs. Maybe she should stop by on her way home, check that he had everything he needed. She'd taken care of the house in his absence but maybe there was something she'd forgotten...and maybe she just wanted to have an excuse to see him.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sam closed her eyes briefly. She had a horrible feeling she was more in love with Jack O'Neill than ever. Everything he had endured; everything he had gone through had just increased her admiration and her respect for him.

Stupid.

He didn't feel the same way. Sure he had accepted her support during his withdrawal but she had a feeling that had been more for her benefit than his. She shook herself slightly. She had to pull herself together before she made a complete fool out of herself.

The elevator slid open and she stepped out almost colliding with Teal'c.

'Major Carter.' Teal'c allowed the elevator to move on without him as he bowed in greeting.

'Teal'c.' Sam gave him a wide smile. 'It's good to see you.' She had missed the Jaffa's steady presence both during the Colonel's withdrawal and during her week away.

'It is good to be seen.' Teal'c confirmed, his stern features softening. 'You look well, Major Carter.'

She pulled a face. 'I look terrible, Teal'c, but thank you.' She gestured at him. 'General Hammond mentioned you'd spent some time out at the Alpha site?'

'Indeed.' The lines on his face settled into a look of deep satisfaction. 'There has been much progress. I believe O'Neill will be pleased.'

Sam nodded. 'I'm sure he will be, Teal'c.'

'It is my understanding that O'Neill would be home this evening.' Teal'c said. 'Perhaps you would join me in visiting him?'

Visiting on her own would provoke questions but visiting with Teal'c? That would be OK, wouldn't it? Sam bit her lip as Teal'c patiently waited for her answer and caught a glimpse of something in his eye. He really wanted to spend time with the Colonel, she realised. A flush of shame washed through her. It wasn't just about her, Sam reminded herself. And maybe Teal'c _needed_ to see Jack more than she wanted to. Maybe it was best if she didn't see the Colonel at all until she had rebuilt her defences again.

'Actually, Teal'c,' she replied, 'Cassie called me when I was away and she wanted to see me when I got back.' It wasn't a lie. The teenager had called, upset about her break-up from Dominic. 'Maybe you could visit with the Colonel on your own and just pass on my regrets and that I'll see him tomorrow?'

Teal'c inclined his head. 'If you are certain.'

Sam attempted a smile and feared it was more of a grimace. 'I'm certain, Teal'c. Oh, and can you let him know Jonas sends his regards too?'

'I will, Major Carter.'

They went in opposite directions and Sam paused as she reached the women's locker room. It was for the best; no matter how much it hurt.

o-O-o

Teal'c parked the base car outside of O'Neill's home and reached for the square bakery box he had carefully stowed on the passenger seat. He made sure his grey hat still covered his Goa'uld brand and made his way to the front door, knocking solidly on the wooden surface.

A faint sound of movement inside the house assured him he had been heard. The door swung open.

Jack looked at him blankly for a moment as though unsure whether to believe his eyes. He lifted his beer in greeting. 'Teal'c.'

'O'Neill.' Teal'c's eyes ran over the SG1 leader noting how the clothes hung loosely from O'Neill's frame; the deep lines that bracketed O'Neill's pale, unshaven face and the listless dull look in his brown eyes. Teal'c was suddenly pleased that Major Carter had declined to come with him. He raised the bakery box. 'I have brought doughnuts.'

Jack swept an arm towards the den and Teal'c accepted the invitation to enter. He removed his hat and placed the box on the table, aware that O'Neill had disappeared into the kitchen after closing the door. He looked around. There was an air of disuse about the place; to be expected given O'Neill's long absence from the house. He glanced at the muted TV; pictures of yellow cartoon characters filled the screen.

He sat down and O'Neill reappeared. He placed a ginger ale in front of Teal'c, snagged a doughnut covered in powdery sugar and took the seat on the far side of the room.

Teal'c carefully chose a chocolate dipped doughnut from the selection and bit into it.

For a long minute the only sound in the cold den was their chewing.

Jack sucked the sugar off his thumb and washed away the sweetness with beer. 'So what brings you here?'

'I wished to welcome you home, O'Neill.' Teal'c said without pretence.

Jack seemed startled. 'Thank you.' He shifted uncomfortably. 'It doesn't seem real.' He murmured, indicating the room with a wide sweep of his arm, perilously close to sloshing beer on the floor.

Teal'c searched for a safe topic. 'Did you enjoy your time fishing?'

'It was fine.' Jack's thumb rubbed at the label on the bottle. 'You?'

'I was able to spend some time at the Alpha site.' Teal'c informed him. 'Progress is being made on the training programmes between the Jaffa and Tau'ri warriors there.'

Jack nodded uninterested. 'Thanks by the way.' He gestured at him. 'The whole Tok'ra thing. Hammond called me to tell me the charges were dropped.'

'It is Jacob Carter and Selmak to whom you owe your thanks.' Teal'c corrected. 'I am not certain without their intervention we would have been successful.'

Jack's gaze strayed back to the TV.

Teal'c saw him glance at the ordered pile of videos stacked on the floor. 'Major Carter ensured your TV show was recorded during your absence.'

'She did?' Jack looked up sharply, a spark in his eyes for the first time since he had let Teal'c enter his home.

Teal'c inclined his head.

'She had other plans tonight then or did you get the short straw this time?' Jack remarked caustically.

Teal'c got the reference. Daniel Jackson had once teased O'Neill unfairly that he had drawn the short straw when he had gone to see him during a period when O'Neill had briefly left the SGC on an undercover sting operation.

'I am not Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c said mildly. He waited a beat. 'He would not have brought doughnuts.'

Jack's eyes widened in surprised before he burst out laughing. He shook his head and raised his beer in silent salute to Teal'c.

'Major Carter is visiting with Cassandra.' Teal'c continued. 'She sends her regards and looks forward to seeing you tomorrow. As does Jonas Quinn.'

'Tomorrow.' Jack repeated with a grimace.

Teal'c debated whether he should say something. He fervently wished for a moment that he was their former team-mate; Daniel Jackson may have known the words to pull O'Neill from whatever mood was upon him. Humans were perplexing to Teal'c at the best of times. He took a deep breath and determined to plough on. A Jaffa never backed away from a challenge. 'Something troubles you, O'Neill.'

Jack paused, the bottle millimetres from his lips. He lowered it again. 'You mean apart from being tortured and killed over and over again?'

'Indeed.' Teal'c took the sarcastic reply at face value.

Jack's lips quirked and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. His eyes went back to the stack of videos. 'Have you ever thought about giving it up, Teal'c?'

'I have not.' Teal'c replied. He mused if O'Neill was truly contemplating such an action.

'Never?' Jack queried.

'Never.' Teal'c confirmed.

'Daniel gave up.' Jack muttered as though to defend his own thoughts.

'Did you yourself not say that Daniel Jackson believed he could do more as an Ascended being?' Teal'c pointed out.

'He got snowed by the sales speech.' Jack replied incongruously, staring at his bottle. 'It's not like he can blast us out if we get caught by a Goa'uld or strike the bastard down.'

Teal'c frowned, wondering at O'Neill's certainty.

'To all extents and purposes, he gave up.' Jack summarised, gesturing with the beer.

'Are you seeking permission to do the same?' Teal'c asked bluntly.

Jack winced but sat back, his dark eyes guarded as they met Teal'c's. 'Maybe I'm seeking a reason why I shouldn't do the same.'

Teal'c felt ill-prepared and ill-equipped to respond. He wished again that Daniel Jackson was still alive. 'I do not believe now is the time to make decisions of this nature.'

'If not now, then when?' Jack asked.

Teal'c considered his friend seriously. 'Have you considered that your actions may be being influenced by your blending with Kanan, O'Neill? That his desires are influencing your own?'

Jack grimaced. 'Yes. I have considered it.'

Teal'c looked at him expectantly. For a brief moment he thought his friend would not reply.

'I don't know.' Jack admitted. 'I want to say no...' he shrugged as though to dismiss the thought.

'Perhaps,' Teal'c suggested, 'you would be better to discuss this with Major Carter.'

Jack's head snapped around and he coughed hard as the swallow of beer he had just taken went down the wrong way. 'What?' He managed eventually.

'Perhaps as an ex-host she may be able to guide you into determining what of what you feel is Kanan and what your own true thoughts are.' Teal'c responded evenly, intrigued by O'Neill's reaction.

'Right.' Jack's thumb worried at the bottle label again. 'The ex-host thing.'

'Unless there is another reason why you think you should speak with Major Carter.' Teal'c added, unable to resist the opening. He was not unaware of the feelings his two team-mates hid from each other.

Jack shook his head, stopping when his gaze hit the video stack. 'You ever watch The Simpsons, Teal'c?'

Teal'c registered the change in subject and acknowledged that O'Neill no longer wished to speak of the questions that were clearly preying on his mind. 'I have not.'

'How about a marathon?' Jack suggested. 'I'll order pizza.'

Teal'c inclined his head in agreement. Jack gave a smile and raised his empty beer bottle.

'Another ginger ale?'

'I am fine, O'Neill.' Teal'c waited until the other man had departed for the kitchen before he allowed his own gaze to rest on the video stack. He believed a conversation with Major Carter would enable O'Neill to move forward but he also believed that O'Neill had no intention of ever conducting such a discussion. He pressed his lips together and reached for his ginger ale. Perhaps if O'Neill would not go to the Major, the Major could be persuaded to approach O'Neill. He knew one thing was certain: he would need a superior strategy either way.

o-O-o

Daniel looked up as Oma settled beside him in the darkness. The lake lapped at the nearby shore; it was a shimmering silver mirror cutting through the black swathe.

They sat in silence for a long time. Both of them watched the night; the sparkle of stars long dead in the sky, the rush of the wind with its scent of flowers and water, the rustle of grass around them.

'It's beautiful here.' Oma said softly. 'It was one of my favourite places as a child.'

Daniel's eyebrows shot up. 'You were a child?'

'We were all children once.' Oma smiled at his shock. She nodded at the lake. 'I remember swimming with my sisters in the moonlight as young women.'

'Sisters.' Daniel looked at her with puzzlement. 'You and Morgan were sisters?'

'Once.' Oma nodded, her dark hair brushing her shoulders. 'Many moons ago.' Her hand moved through the grass and disturbed a butterfly that perched on her finger a second before it flew away, fluttering into the darkness. 'I remember my previous life, Daniel. I remember the bonds I once held.'

'But you don't have those bonds any longer?'

'Morgan and I...' Oma shrugged. 'Our paths went in different directions so long ago and there has been a universe to explore since we last met.'

'And it has been enough?' Daniel pressed. He had a feeling he was about to receive another lesson.

'I always thought so.' Her eyes gazed out at the lake serenely. 'And I came to believe this should never be our knowledge alone.'

'You want to share it with others.' Daniel surmised. He let out a slow breath. 'Like me.'

'There are many who seek Ascension; who only seek knowledge and enlightenment.' Oma said. 'Yet only a few who can achieve it alone.'

'So you help.' Daniel concluded.

'So I help.'

'Against the wishes of the Others.' Daniel pressed.

'Against the wishes of the Others.' Oma agreed without heat. She raised her face to the sky. 'We are not without flaws, Daniel. We are capable of making mistakes and when we do...the consequences can have a reach far further than we can see or anticipate.'

'I know you disagree with what I did,' Daniel began.

'I was talking of mistakes I have made.' Oma interrupted with a smile.

Daniel's mouth dropped open slightly and he shut it again. 'I guess I never considered that.' He wet his lips. 'Do you consider helping me a mistake?'

'I believe I am only beginning to understand why I helped you.' Oma confessed with a sigh.

'If you immediately know the candle-light is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago?' Daniel teased, to cover the unease he felt at Oma's answer.

She smiled in response. 'And what of you, Daniel? You have stayed many days here.'

Daniel nodded. 'I needed to think.' He admitted. He sighed as he thought how best to explain himself. 'I need to do this; be this.' He waved at himself. 'I don't know why but it feels important somehow; like there's something here I have to learn, or do.' He gestured at Oma. 'I'm not sure I can explain it.'

Oma nodded in understanding.

'But I also don't believe I was wrong to help Jack.' Daniel blurted out. He turned away from her. 'I get that I shouldn't use my powers in judgement; that I'm not a God; that I don't get to choose who lives and who dies but...' his voice trailed away and he took another breath. 'I can't stand by and simply watch my friends suffer. I'm not sure I'm going to forgive myself for letting Jack suffer as long as he did and I'm not sorry that what I did helped to end it.'

He looked up at Oma. 'I want to be Ascended and I will strive to work within the rules but I can't give up the bonds I have.' He held his breath as she regarded him thoughtfully. Would she send him back? As much as he missed his SG1 family, he didn't really want to go back not just yet, not when there was so much more for him to learn...

Oma transformed; her body blurring into her energy form. 'Then I believe we will both have an interesting journey ahead, Daniel.' She departed and Daniel found himself alone again, relief rushing through him.

He found his thoughts returning to Oma's words. She had once been human herself, Daniel mused. What did that mean? Were the Ascended beings simply Ascended humans like him? Or were they related to the Ancients, the builders of the Stargates, he theorised, remembering the writing in the temple. And what about her admission that they made mistakes? Daniel frowned. He guessed he'd already known that because of Orlin.

Daniel pushed a hand through his hair and flopped back on the grass to stare up at the endless sky. He hadn't asked Oma about the balance thing, he realised, and given her comments about not really understanding why she had helped him, he wasn't sure she would have been able to give him an answer.

Did it matter, Daniel wondered. He had what he wanted: he was still Ascended and he even had her tacit understanding that he would remain bonded with his friends but...the question of why Oma had helped him Ascend nagged at him.

He shook it away determinedly. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that he made the most of his Ascension; learned what it was that he was meant to learn. He allowed his form to dissolve into energy and floated away into the night.

o-O-o

Jack stared at the base psychiatrist. He noted the careful press of Mackenzie's uniform; the absence of the white coat. He knew it was a ploy to make him more comfortable; to make him forget they were in the middle of a formal session that would determine whether he made it back to the field or not. The uniform was meant to denote that Mackenzie was just another officer; one of the guys; someone Jack could confide in. Jack noted the strategy and sighed.

He was dressed in blue BDUs. The uniform felt strangely uncomfortable as though it knew Jack wasn't yet committed to wearing it again. The rough collar of the shirt scratched at the back of his neck; the pants felt confining. He longed for the worn-denim jeans and soft cotton shirts of his downtime.

Mackenzie was waiting for Jack to speak. The sharp-nosed, perceptive-eyed, dark-haired shrink had waved Jack into the visitor chair in the small office and simply said: 'When you're ready.'

Jack wasn't sure he'd ever be ready. He sat stiffly in the chair, legs splayed, arms folded. He was sure Mackenzie was noting the body language and drawing conclusions.

The psychiatrist shot him an understanding smile. 'Perhaps we should begin with the last week.'

'What about it?' Jack shot back immediately.

'Tell me about your cabin.' Mackenzie invited. 'It's in Minnesota, isn't it?'

'Yes.' Jack's chin lifted as he regarded Mackenzie suspiciously. 'I'm not really...' he flicked his hand at Mackenzie, 'I don't want to talk about my cabin.' And it had nothing to do with the continuing dreams he'd had there or that it hadn't brought him the sense of peace he craved.

'I understand.' Mackenzie said soothingly.

'What?' Jack snapped back.

'That the cabin is a place of safety for you.' Mackenzie answered evenly, ignoring Jack's anger. 'That you want to keep it private; that you don't want it to become the property of the US Air Force even in words logged on a report.'

'Yes.' Jack looked away from Mackenzie focusing on a spot on the far wall where someone had evidently scratched the paintwork. 'That.'

Mackenzie waited again.

The silence grew longer.

Jack's skin crawled with tension. 'I'm thinking about retirement.' He blurted out.

The psychiatrist didn't even blink. 'I think that's a perfectly natural reaction.'

'You do?' Jack's eyebrows shot up.

'I would be concerned if you displayed an eagerness to return to the field given your experience.' Mackenzie said.

Jack assimilated the quiet statement. He'd been gung-ho after Iraq; determined to ship out again ASAP. The Special Ops shrink had signed his papers and he'd been on the next flight out. He'd thought he was being a man; facing up to his fears...he was beginning to realise all he'd done was bury them. Maybe there just wasn't any more space in his head to bury anything else.

Mackenzie shifted as though he'd guessed Jack's thoughts. 'Tell me about last week.'

o-O-o

Sam checked her watch surreptitiously and tried to focus on the report on her monitor. The Colonel was in with Mackenzie; had been for two hours. Clearly, his experience called for an extended session. She'd seen him briefly when he'd arrived; he'd stopped by the mess where she, Teal'c and Jonas had been breakfasting, declined to join them and said he was already running late and would catch them later.

She hadn't been able to stop herself noticing that he'd looked tired and thin as though he hadn't rested the entire week he had been away. She gazed blankly at her monitor before turning away with a muttered curse.

God, she had to stop thinking about him!

Her phone rang and she picked it up grateful for the distraction. 'Major Carter.'

'Sam? It's Jonas.' The Kelownan said cheerfully. 'Teal'c and I are going to head to the mess for a snack. We thought you might want to join us?'

A snack sounded tempting and it wasn't as though she was going to get any work done, moping about her lab, Sam mused. 'Sounds great.'

'We'll meet you there.' Jonas said.

Sam hung up the receiver and turned off the monitor before she exited the lab and walked over to the elevator. She briefly gazed at the stairs; it was only one level...she pressed the elevator call button.

The sound of footsteps had her turning to look down the corridor and her heart leaped at the sight of the Colonel. He slowed as he caught sight of her but continued to approach until he stood next to her.

'Carter.' Jack nodded at her.

'Sir.' Sam gestured at the elevator. 'I was just on my way for a snack with Jonas and Teal'c.' She bit her lip. 'Would you like to join us or...'

'I'm...' Jack waved a hand at her, 'you know. Maybe tomorrow.'

The elevator arrived and the two of them entered the small compartment.

'So, how was the fishing?' Sam asked brightly, trying to cover the awkward silence.

'Fine.' Jack stared up at the floor indicator. 'It was...'

The compartment shuddered; the lights flickered and with a screech the elevator suddenly fell, throwing Sam into Jack as the lights went out completely.

He caught hold of her as just as suddenly it jerked to a halt and their momentum carried them into a wall. Jack turned them without thinking and took the brunt of the blow as they hit the solid surface and bounced onto the floor. The emergency red light flickered on bathing them both in a scarlet flush.

'Sorry, sir.' Sam said as she extracted herself from his arms.

'Not a problem, Carter.' Jack gestured with one hand at the emergency phone as he rubbed his new bruises with the other. 'You want to do the honours?'

Sam moved gingerly to her feet and over to the phone. She picked it up and frowned. She tried again but replaced it when there was still no dial tone. 'It's not working, sir.'

'Of course it isn't.' Jack said dryly.

She pressed the alarm; nothing happened. She looked at the panel and dived into a pocket to pull out her key-ring with its assortment of tools. 'I think the power is out, sir.'

'Of course it is.'

Sam glanced at him, noting the caustic tone. 'You OK, sir?'

'Let's just say I don't have as much of an appreciation for small, cramped spaces as I used to.' Jack muttered.

She grimaced in understanding. His time in the sarcophagus had evidently left him with some claustrophobia issues. 'I'll see if I can reroute the telephone, sir.'

'Have at it.' He waved at her as he manoeuvred into a more comfortable position, wedged in a corner.

Sam pressed her lips together and focused. She would get him out; she would.

o-O-o

Jack watched as Sam became absorbed in her task. He let himself stare at her unashamedly, knowing she was usually oblivious to everything else around her when her mind was focused on something. She had eschewed the BDU shirt and her long sleeved black undershirt skimmed over her body, accentuating her modestly enough. There was a glint of metal at the back of her neck; the chain holding her dog-tags, Jack mused. He let his gaze roam downwards. She wore the same blue BDU pants. They covered her legs, hiding them from view but hinting at the long length, the shapely derriere and the curve of her hips.

He looked away abruptly. Damn it. It was bad enough he was dreaming about her every night without adding more detail to it. He rubbed a hand over his face; through his short hair. His gaze drifted back to her; he could only see her face in profile but he knew there would be a line between her brows as she concentrated. Her lower lip was pulled between her teeth. Her nose wrinkled as she hit a problem.

God, he had it bad. Jack closed his eyes. The image of her filled his mind along with a familiar scent. He breathed in the orange fragrance and filled his lungs with it. Somehow his muscles relaxed; his stomach unknotted.

The session with Mackenzie had been long and tiring. Jack was surprised how much he had told the psychiatrist but he hadn't told him everything – nothing about his feelings for Carter and how they played into all that had happened – and Mackenzie wasn't dumb; he knew Jack was keeping something from him.

Strangely, Mackenzie had also suggested the same course of action as Teal'c: talking to Carter to gain her advice as an ex-host on sorting out his emotions from Kanan's.

'_You seem uncomfortable with the suggestion, Colonel.' Mackenzie peered at him speculatively._

'_That would be because I am.' Jack retorted._

'_Why is that?'_

_Jack pressed his lips together. 'I'm not talking with her about this.'_

_Mackenzie leaned forward. 'If your positions were reversed, would you not want her to feel comfortable that she could come to you.'_

'_That's not the point!' Jack snapped. 'And it's different.'_

'_Because you're her CO.'_

'_Exactly.' Jack agreed._

'_Yet you allowed her to remain with you during your withdrawal.'_

_Jack flushed. 'Yes. Well. That wasn't the plan.'_

'_But you did allow it?'_

_Jack sighed. 'She's already seen me sick as a dog and in pain. She's our field medic; it's hardly news to her.'_

_Mackenzie regarded him thoughtfully. 'Which are you more afraid of, Colonel? That you'll discover your desires influenced the symbiote or that the symbiote is influencing you right now?'_

'Ouch!'

His eyes snapped open. 'Carter?'

She turned briefly towards him and he took in the sight of her sucking on her finger with raised eyebrows. 'Just a shock, sir.'

No kidding.

She waved her uninjured hand at the panel. 'I can't reroute the power.'

Of course she couldn't.

He sighed and patted the floor next to him. 'Pull up a seat, Carter. You might as well get comfortable.'

She eased back along the wall and slid down to sit beside him. 'Sorry, sir.'

'Not your fault.' Jack murmured. None of it was her fault. Not his taking the symbiote; not Kanan's desire to rescue Shallan; not his inability to leave her at the force-shield two years before nor his inability to move on. He eased his head back until it made contact with the wall. He figured they could be stuck for a couple of hours before they were rescued.

She shivered beside him.

'Cold?' He asked, concern welling up as he took in her pale face.

'A little.' Sam admitted, hugging her middle tightly enough that Jack knew she meant a lot.

'The power outage must have taken the heating out too.' Jack noted. He unceremoniously unbuttoned his shirt and handed it to her.

She took it and frowned at him as she registered his short-sleeved t-shirt. 'Don't you need this, sir?'

'I'm fine.' Jack said. He sighed at her uncertain expression. 'Just put it on, Carter. I can always demand it back if I get too cold.'

She shrugged it on without any further argument. It swamped her and he reached over without thinking to adjust the twisted collar.

She blushed faintly. 'Thank you, sir.'

He nodded and withdrew his hand smartly.

Silence filled the small compartment.

It was his turn to shiver. He ignored the pointed look Carter levelled at him and rubbed his arms.

'Sir, we could sit closer and share body heat.' Sam suggested sensibly.

'Right.' Jack didn't move and Sam gave a sigh and shifted position herself. She pressed into his side and he shifted his arm, draping it across her shoulders as her head came to rest awkwardly on his shoulder. He looked at where to place his hand: did he cup her shoulder, or simply rest it on her arm or...he fisted it, leaving it dangling a good two inches from her body.

Jack breathed in. The orangey scent was stronger now she was all but curled up in his lap. He looked for a neutral topic. 'How's Cassie?'

'She's OK, sir.' Sam replied after a brief hesitation. 'She broke up with Dominic.'

'Should I be doing my happy dance?' Jack asked dryly.

'He called just as I left last night.' Sam said. 'So I wouldn't get my hopes up.' She paused. 'Sir.'

His lips twitched.

She shifted subtly against him and he tried to ignore the feel of her in his arms. 'I'm sorry I didn't make it over last night, sir.'

''S OK.' Jack reassured her. 'Although you did miss a Simpsons marathon.' He added trying to keep it light-hearted.

'So Teal'c said.' Sam murmured.

'I should thank you for recording them all.' Jack continued.

'You'd do the same for me, sir.' Sam replied.

And he would. It's what friends did for each other, Jack reminded himself. Friends. Team-mates. He sighed. 'Teal'c said I have Dad to thank for getting the charges dropped.'

She nodded, her hair brushing the underside of his chin. 'They should never have pressed charges in the first place.' She sounded so disgruntled on his behalf, he had to smile.

It faded as Mackenzie's question nagged at him. Ask her, a voice whispered in his head; just ask her. He sighed heavily.

'Sir?' Sam murmured.

'What if they were right?' Jack pushed the question out almost stumbling over the words. 'What if I did unduly influence the snake?'

Sam moved so swiftly to look at him, she took him by surprise. 'With all due respect, sir: bullshit.'

He searched her fierce gaze; the mutinous set of her jaw and felt the wall he'd built around him in the previous week crack wide-open. 'It's possible, Carter.' He looked away from her. 'He loved her. He didn't want to leave her behind.'

He felt her stiffen with realisation as she worked out what he believed had influenced Kanan. 'It's still bullshit, sir.'

Jack looked back at her almost amused at her ferocity.

'Sir,' Sam moved again to look at him fully, 'the key word here is unduly. All hosts and symbiotes influence each other but they determine what they act on. Even if Kanan did see...' she waved a hand at him, 'you choosing not to leave someone behind, he didn't have to act on it in regards to his own situation.' She held his gaze. 'He certainly didn't have any right to use you to make the rescue without your consent. That was just pure selfishness.'

Jack nodded slowly. He motioned for her to resume her previous position. She curled up immediately.

'You know if he had woken me up; asked me; I'm not sure I would have said no.' He confessed into the silence.

'You would have said no.' Sam said confidently, contradicting him. 'It was tactically too dangerous, sir, and put Earth and the Tok'ra needlessly at risk. Maybe you wouldn't have left, uh, Shallan, behind in the first place but you wouldn't have gone back for her just out of guilt; not when the safety of others was at stake.'

There was another silence as he assimilated her words. He felt humbled. He wasn't sure he deserved her unquestioning belief in his honour; not after the last week and his thoughts of retirement, of pursuing something with her.

'It's a weird thing, isn't it?' He mused out loud. 'This whole snake sharing thing.'

'Weird.' Sam agreed. She paused. 'Dreams?'

'A few.' He admitted without expanding.

'They go away.' She assured him.

'Good to know.' Jack said sincerely. He waited a beat. 'When?'

She chuckled for a moment but sobered. He saw her fingers wrap around one of her knees. 'You know after Jolinar it took a long time for me to feel like myself again.'

'I'm beginning to get that.' Jack murmured. But he could feel the confusion in his own mind easing in the empathy of her confession.

Sam shifted again; easing up to look at him with intent blue eyes so dark in the dim lighting. 'You're you, sir.'

He knew he had his selfish side; something that was all Jack O'Neill. A part of him that selfishly wanted out; to ignore his duty and his honour; to take the excuse being tortured offered him and head back to his cabin away from the war and the losses. But Carter believed him to be so much better than that, and he wanted to be better; for her, to be worthy, to be the man she believed him to be.

Kanan's own selfishness was a part of him too; Kanan wanted to be with Shallan and he wanted to be with Carter. That's probably why he'd been dreaming about them, Jack realised. But Kanan had gone after what he wanted and, well, Jack didn't really want to look at the outcome.

It would be so easy, thought Jack; so easy to close the last few inches between them; to kiss her; taste her; lose himself in her touch. But Carter deserved more than a kiss, or even a relationship borne out of his own selfish needs; she deserved his protection. It was her job on the line if he kissed her; her life on the line. And it was his job on the line, his life on the line, if he failed to keep her safe. He knew that all too well. And so, he hesitated, held back like he always did and nodded.

'I'm me.' He said lightly, and for the first time since he'd woken in Ba'al's fortress, he believed it.

Carter smiled at him.

The elevator juddered, grabbing both of their attention, and it began to move slowly.

'They must have fixed it.' Carter slipped out of his loose hold and got to her feet.

Jack staggered up, supporting himself on the wall. The elevator stopped and the doors opened on the commissary level. There was a reception committee: Hammond, Fraiser, Siler and the remaining members of SG1.

'Colonel. Major.' Hammond grimaced at them. 'Are you OK?'

'A little cold, sir.' Jack said breezily. He gestured as he stepped out. 'Carter received a small electrical shock trying to fix the phone.'

'I'm fine, sir.' Sam said immediately even as Janet reached for her hand to check. 'Really.' She turned to Siler. 'What happened?'

'An unexplained power outage, Major.' Hammond replied. 'It seems the power conduits to the entire elevator system shorted out somehow.'

'I'll look into it, sir.' Siler promised.

'Do that, Sergeant.' Hammond ordered. 'I don't want this to happen again.' He nodded at his two officers and departed.

'I am pleased to see you are both well.' Teal'c murmured.

'Me too.' Jonas broke in cheerfully. 'We were worried.'

He could see it on their faces; they'd been concerned and probably about more than him and Carter just being trapped in an elevator.

'So.' Jack said, his gaze settling on the rest of SG1 as Sam retrieved her hand from the doctor. 'I hear there was talk of a snack?'

Sam's smile lit up her whole face, and Jack saw her delight reflected in Teal'c's quiet gleam of approval and Jonas's wide grin.

'Mess, sir?'

'Lead on, Carter.' Jack said.

Janet cleared her throat. 'If I could just have a moment, sir?'

Sam hesitated mid-step and Jack gestured for her and the others to continue. 'Carry on. I'll meet you there.' He turned to the petite brunette and shoved his hands in his pants' pockets. 'What's up, Doc?'

Her eyes narrowed on him. 'I just wanted to check you're alright, sir. Getting trapped in a confined space given your recent experience...'

'I was fine.' He took in her sceptical look and responded with a raised eyebrow that challenged her to disbelieve him.

Janet nodded slowly and walked away in the opposite direction, heading for the stairs, Jack noted with amusement. He spun on his heel and went after his team. He caught sight of Carter waiting for him at the entrance, still wearing his shirt, the sleeves almost swamping her arms. He should probably get that back from her before too many people saw it and jumped to conclusions, Jack mused.

Something inside him settled as he fell into step beside her and he let go of his doubts. For the first time since Daniel had said the words to him, Jack finally let himself believe it: he really _was_ going to be alright.


	31. Reality Checks

**Author's Note: **Jonas/Team friendship. Jack/Team friendship. Mild Sam/Jack UST.

**Shadow Play Recap:** _The SGC gets an unexpected call via the wormhole from the Kelownans. SG1 is briefed: the Kelownans want to reopen trade negotiations. Jack is against it but Sam argues they need more naquadria. Jonas is nervous as he awaits the Kelownan delegation's arrival. Teal'c confides that his people also considered him a traitor but eventually came to see that his actions were necessary._

_Ambassador Dreylock, Commander Hale and an old professor of Jonas's, Doctor Kieran arrive. The Kelownans argue that their neighbours, Tirania and Andari, who have previously hated each other more than Kelowna have signed a non-aggression pact and they believe that they will invade Kelowna. They want military technology in exchange for the naquadria. After the Kelownans have gone Jonas confirms to SG1 that his government is being truthful but Jack reminds him his priorities have changed; he's a member of SG1. Hammond asks Jack for advice on a recommendation and Jack states that they can't guarantee that the Kelownans will stop at simply defending themselves. Hammond remarks he sounds like Daniel but wonders if Jack's viewpoint isn't simply based on his dislike of them._

_The gate activates; it's Kieran who goes to see Jonas and tells him that his rebellion got the scientists questioning what they were doing; he's working with a resistance who are working on a coup – and they need Jonas's help._

_SG1 is authorised to go to Kelowna and negotiate but also to try and make contact with the resistance. On Kelowna, they meet with First Minister Valis. The negotiations don't go well as predicted. Later, Kieran promises to talk with the resistance to agree to a meet. He seems to go to a warehouse and talk with his contact. Meanwhile, Valis offers to give Jonas a pardon if he 'watches' Kieran._

_The next day, the Kelownans get news that the Tiranians are amassing troops on the border. Kieran reports that a fellow professor in the resistance has been transferred; he fears getting arrested. When Jack says he's going to leave, Kieran promises to deliver some naquadria he has stolen and the requested meeting. On his way to the resistance Kieran suffers a bad fall. _

_Kieran is in the infirmary at the SGC with a broken leg and head injury, Jonas having arranged for him to be there. SG1 suspect foul play but are confused. They realise they can track the naquadria Kieran stole. Janet confirms that Kieran is suffering from a form of schizophrenia caused by radiation. Jonas goes to talk with Valis to try and dissuade him from using the bomb; the rest of SG1 find the naquadria. As Teal'c and Sam take the naquadria back, Jack collects a disheartened Jonas and informs him about Kieran's illness. Jonas confronts Valis who confirms they knew. Jonas goes home to comfort his old professor._

**Reality Checks**

The mental hospital wasn't what Jonas Quinn had expected. The bright cheerful decor of the patient common room seemed far too airy with light streaming in from the large open windows at the end of the room. The comfortable chairs in difference shades of pastel were dotted about into groupings; some centred on a muted television, others around tables where board games were being played. A variety of individuals – some in uniforms denoting them as staff, some in casual dress, some in nightwear and slippers – mingled in the room. Most didn't look mentally ill. They all looked like normal, regular people. What _did_ a mentally ill person actually look like, Jonas thought crossly. Had he really thought he'd see a room full of crazy people with staring eyes and wild hair?

One individual drew his attention: Doctor Benjamin Kieran. His former mentor sat in a wheelchair parked up by the windows. His head was wrapped in a bandage; a cast adorned one leg. He wore pinstriped pyjamas under a warm maroon dressing gown. He stared out of the window, apparently uninterested in the rest of the occupants of the room. Jonas felt his throat close up as he contemplated the demise of a once great mind and the loss of the man he had known.

'As you can see,' Doctor Mackenzie murmured beside him, 'our non-violent and low risk patients are provided with a great deal of freedom. Doctor Kieran will get one-to-one and group therapy sessions as well as medical treatments designed to control the paranoia he exhibits and his hallucinations.'

Jonas nodded. He'd already been given the tour of the rest of the facility. It seemed far beyond anything they had on Kelowna. The mental institutions there seemed more like a prison than a place of treatment. He spared a thought for Doctors Leed and Silas. He doubted the other two scientists had fared as well and wondered briefly if he should have offered to have had them relocated to Earth too. His fingers tightened on the cap he held in his hand.

'Doctor Kieran will be given the best possible care here, Jonas.' Janet Fraiser assured him, placing a hand on his arm.

He nodded again, unable to speak and was faintly aware of the doctor exchanging a look of concern with Teal'c. She had driven him and the Jaffa out to the facility, following the military ambulance that transported Doctor Kieran.

Janet squeezed his arm and let go. 'Doctor Mackenzie and I have some things to discuss,' she said, 'maybe you could spend some time with Doctor Kieran? I'm sure he'd be pleased to see you.'

'Of course.' Jonas said automatically. He attempted a smile but he couldn't sustain it.

The doctors gave him sympathetic smiles and retreated.

Teal'c inclined his head, the woollen cap he wore safely covering his Goa'uld brand. 'I will wait outside for you, Jonas Quinn.'

Jonas waved his own cap at the Jaffa; silent permission for him to leave. He was grateful that Teal'c had accompanied him but talking with Doctor Kieran was his responsibility.

He could do it.

He could.

He stared down at the cap in his hands before he took a deep breath and entered the common room. It seemed to take no time at all before he had crossed the space separating him from the older man. Jonas pulled up a chair and sat down.

Kieran looked at him and smiled. 'Jonas.'

'Professor.' Jonas said respectfully. He glanced out of the window at the beautifully manicured lawn and gardens. 'Pretty.'

'It's stunning.' Kieran said.

Jonas nodded; such greenery was unknown on Kelowna. Industrialisation had paved over all the grass long ago.

'Have you had word from Kelowna?' Kieran asked urgently.

Uncertainty filled Jonas. What did he do? Play into the other man's illusions or tell the truth. He sighed. 'We haven't heard anything yet.' It was the truth.

Kieran sat back with a heavy sigh and tapped the arm of the wheelchair. 'I fear the resistance met with military force when they entered the secure facility.'

'You could be right.' Jonas murmured. He gestured around the room. 'How are you settling in?'

'I'm fine, Jonas.' Kieran gave him a reassuring smile. 'I've been treated very well.' His dark eyes sharpened on something behind Jonas and he pointed. 'What's that?'

Jonas glanced behind him. A member of staff was playing a game with a patient, moving black and white objects over a chequered board. 'I think it's called chess.' He turned back to the professor. 'It's very popular here. Maybe we can learn to play it together.'

Kieran smiled. 'I have a feeling that you're going to be much too busy to worry about me, Jonas. You have your new life and adventures.'

'I'll never be too busy for you, Professor.' The lump in his throat was back and Jonas looked away before the older man saw the tears in his eyes.

'Jonas.' The insistent tone so familiar pulled Jonas's attention back to Kieran.

His old professor looked back at him with surprising clarity in his dark gaze. 'I never got the chance to tell you before but I want you to know that I've always considered you the son I never had.' He raised a hand before Jonas could speak. 'I never married; never considered it an importance compared to the work that I was doing.' His face drooped and he lifted his eyes heavenward for a moment. 'If I had only known the outcome; the terrible destruction...'

His hand fisted on his thigh. His gaze snapped back to Jonas and determination glinted there as though Kieran was hell bent on saying something; that he needed to say something. 'When you stood up and told the truth, Jonas; when you left the programme and made a stand...I was proud of you.' He reached out and patted Jonas's arm before retreating again. 'I am proud of you.'

Jonas couldn't speak. He blinked back the tears in his eyes, swiped at his nose and nodded furiously in acknowledgement without meeting the professor's gaze.

'I've been in touch with the resistance.' Kieran said suddenly, leaning forward urgently. 'Things are going to plan.' He tapped the side of his nose and gave Jonas a conspiratorial grin. 'Soon, Jonas.' He promised. 'Soon, we can both go home.'

For a second, Jonas blinked in shock at the sudden about turn in Kieran's mental state. He nodded slowly. 'Sure, professor.'

He didn't stay much longer before saying his goodbyes with promises to visit often. He wasn't sure if he would be able to keep his promises; wasn't sure he wanted to in truth. He had a valid excuse; his work with SG1 and at the SGC was all-consuming. But he would try, Jonas thought stubbornly, as he made his way out to the front gardens and slumped onto a wooden bench. It was the least he owed the professor.

Jonas stuffed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, grateful for the warmth as the chill Colorado air cooled his exposed skin. He raised his face to the clear blue sky and let the tears he had been holding at bay fall unashamedly. He wondered if the man he knew would ever be restored in the ruined shell of a mind and body that Doctor Kieran occupied. The doctors were sceptical about recovery. They spoke in terms of halting the progression; of preventing it from worsening; controlling the symptoms. Over twenty years of naquadria exposure had damaged the professor beyond repair it seemed. He closed his eyes and let his mind drift back to his first meeting with the professor; his interview to attend the Academy...

'_So you're Quinn.' Kieran looked up from the papers on his desk and regarded Jonas with a searching gaze. 'I've read your entry essay.'_

'_Yes, sir.' Jonas tried hard not to fidget but he shifted on the chair unable to completely reign in his restless energy._

'_It's a challenging topic.' Kieran said, leaning back and folding his hands over his stomach. 'Ethics and Scientific Progress.'_

_Jonas nodded, his long hair in danger of falling from its careful swept back style. 'I'm fascinated by the topic.'_

'_Why?' Kieran asked bluntly._

'_Why?' Jonas started in surprise._

_Kieran indicated the paper in front of him. 'Why?'_

_Jonas wet his lips and tried to get some moisture in his suddenly dry mouth. 'Science is the pursuit of knowledge but sometimes we get too focused on the goal and fail to see the wider implications.'_

'_You said as much in your essay.' Kieran noted. 'But I was asking you why you were interested in this topic. Not why ethics in science is a good thing.' There was a gentle mockery in his voice that had Jonas flushing bright red._

'_My father,' Jonas began, gesturing awkwardly with a sweaty hand, 'my father worked in the same building as scientists working on a new form of chemical weapon during the last skirmish with the Andari Federation. The scientists were experimenting and didn't realise they had released the gas into the rest of the building.' His voice rang with the memory of the hospital morgue and the smell of bleach, of death; his hand held tightly in his mother's. 'My father was one of three civilians who died.'_

_Kieran regarded him for a long moment. 'Are you against all military application of scientific progress?'_

'_Not at all.' Jonas said. 'I believe there has to be improvements in our defences if we are to survive another attack and I believe those improvements will come from science. I just believe we have a duty to ensure we truly consider the cost.'_

_Kieran nodded slowly. 'You certainly make a compelling argument and you're right; scientists sometimes do need that voice of conscience to remind us.' He straightened. 'Welcome to the Academy, Jonas.'_

'_I'm...I'm, uh...'_

'_You're in.' Kieran smiled widely, getting to his feet. 'I'm looking forward to working with you, Jonas.'_

'_Yes, sir.' Jonas sprang out of the chair. 'Me too, sir. With you, I mean.'_

'Jonas Quinn.' Teal'c's deep voice pulled him from his memory. 'May I join you?'

Jonas shifted along the bench, surreptitiously swiping at his wet face, and Teal'c sat down.

'This is most difficult.' Teal'c commented. 'Doctor Kieran is your mentor and friend.'

'More than that.' Jonas admitted roughly. 'He's been the closest thing to a father I ever had.'

Teal'c gave a huff of agreement. 'So it is with my mentor Bra'tac.'

Jonas risked a look at the Jaffa. Teal'c's stern profile gave nothing away. 'Your father died?'

'When I was but a young boy.' Teal'c confirmed. 'Bra'tac taught me how to be a warrior.'

'Doctor Kieran taught me to be a scientist.' Jonas sighed. 'I never told him how important he was to me.'

'He is not yet dead.' Teal'c pointed out implacably.

'Isn't he?' Jonas asked bluntly. 'The man in that building,' he stabbed a finger towards the hospital, 'he's not the same man. He's a shadow of the great man I knew.' He shifted on the bench as Teal'c raised his eyebrow. 'For a moment, when we were talking, I really thought he was back but...' he shook his head, tears welling up again before he could prevent them.

Teal'c placed a heavy hand on Jonas's shoulder. 'He may only be a shadow of the man you once knew but perhaps he will understand your words even if he cannot show it.'

'Maybe.' Jonas sniffed, swiping at his nose.

Teal'c passed him a handkerchief.

'Thank you.' Jonas gave an apologetic smile. 'I'm sure you didn't come just with me for this.'

Teal'c inclined his head. 'Am I not your friend, Jonas Quinn?'

'You are.' Jonas said. 'And I really appreciate that.'

'I also appreciate our friendship.' Teal'c said firmly.

Jonas blew his nose. 'I can't help thinking about what's happening on Kelowna. If they've used the bomb...'

'I believe they will use it if they have not already done so.' Teal'c said.

Jonas sighed heavily. 'Yeah. Me too.' He had helped build it, and perhaps the true destructive power of it hadn't been known when he had, but he wondered that he hadn't questioned the ethics of it before the arrival of SG1 on Kelowna. It had only been Daniel Jackson's sacrifice that had prompted him into questioning what they – what he was doing. He pressed his lips together. 'It was weird going back.' The food, the buildings, the streets; everything so familiar and yet so changed. Or maybe it was he who had changed.

'As it once for me on Chulak.' Teal'c said.

'How did you know you did the right thing, Teal'c?' Jonas asked quietly.

Teal'c looked at Jonas. 'I have never questioned it.'

Jonas felt his cheeks redden again. 'I question it all the time. I mean, I know I left because I believed Earth could do more with the naquadria; could provide my people with a real way of defending ourselves rather than using a bomb but...' he sighed again, 'I just can't help thinking that perhaps if I'd stayed maybe I could have convinced them not to use the bomb.'

'I do not believe you would have been successful.' Teal'c said.

Jonas nodded. He knew that was the truth but it still rankled with him that he hadn't been able to prevent it. People were going to die and horribly. And he had helped create the monster that would kill them.

o-O-o

Janet settled into the visitor chair in Robert Mackenzie's office and blew on the coffee he had just handed her. 'I want to thank you again, Robert, for taking the time to show Jonas around.'

Mackenzie waved away her thanks. His smile softened his sharp features. He picked up his own mug – a gift from his children, Janet surmised, seeing the bold proclamation of 'world's greatest Dad' on the front. He stretched out his long legs and crossed them at the ankle. 'I'm just pleased you could come in for this consultation on Colonel O'Neill.' He paused, his smile falling away and his face settling into serious lines. 'I received General Hammond's request to sign off on the Colonel's full return to duty given his satisfactory performance on Kelowna.'

Janet took a sip of her coffee. She knew the psychiatrist had only signed off on the Kelownan mission as an exception given its primarily diplomatic objective. 'But you have concerns.'

'I have concerns.' Mackenzie agreed. His gaze narrowed on her. 'Especially given the prompt for this request.'

Janet pulled a face. 'You mean the Tok'ra's request for SG1 to make contact with their operative, Khonsu.'

'I do.' Mackenzie set his mug down and picked up a file. 'General Hammond was kind enough to send this over. I admit...I find the contents worrying.' He paged to the correct section. 'The plan requires for SG1 to ostensibly be captured by Khonsu in his disguise as a Goa'uld in the service of Anubis.' He lifted his gaze to Janet.

'You're concerned that being captured even if it's a ruse will trigger flashbacks.' Janet realised.

'That is a possibility.' Mackenzie said, placing the file back on his desk. 'There's also a concern that this plan requires Colonel O'Neill to place his trust in a Tok'ra to keep him and his team safe during capture.'

'I believe that's one of the reasons why the Tok'ra have suggested the mission.' Janet replied. She gestured with her mug. 'Major Davis believes the Tok'ra have requested SG1 do this mission rather than using one of their own people as some kind of...of olive branch to repair relations between us.'

'They show trust in the Colonel by requesting SG1 specifically and in return the Colonel will demonstrate trust in them by allowing Khonsu to capture him and his team.' Mackenzie realised out loud. He shook his head. 'Who thought that was a good idea?'

Janet smiled. 'The Colonel said the same thing at the briefing.'

Mackenzie's eyebrows shot up. 'Maybe I've been spending too much time with him.' He joked.

'The Tok'ra also stated that it could be weeks before Khonsu would be in a position to put the plan into effect.' Janet murmured. 'It does provide an excuse to keep SG1 on primarily low risk missions in the interim while they wait for the call.'

'Hmmm.' Mackenzie picked up his mug again and took a large gulp of coffee. 'It just feels that the universe is determined to test the Colonel's limits of endurance; Kelowna and this?' He shook his head. 'It's not exactly the ideal path of recovery.'

Janet looked at him sharply. 'Has he talked about Kelowna?' All the members of SG1 had eschewed the grief counselling offered after Daniel's Ascension following the incident on Kelowna. She knew the return visit had to have been painful for all of them; had to have stirred up old emotions and feelings.

'No.' Mackenzie admitted. 'The Colonel has a remarkable ability to compartmentalise.' He wet his lips. 'Obviously I can't go into the details of our sessions...'

'Obviously.' Janet agreed.

'But he made it clear very early that our discussions would be limited to his experience as a host and the subsequent capture by Ba'al.' Mackenzie concluded. He put his mug down and unbuttoned the cuff of one shirt sleeve, rolling it up to his elbow. 'And to return to your question, I don't believe his return trip to Kelowna has substantially impacted his recovery.'

'But?' prompted Janet, shifting to cross her legs.

Mackenzie rolled up his other sleeve before answering. 'The Colonel is showing a level of acceptance about being a host; helped, I believe, in the physiological changes being relatively minor.'

'Yes.' Janet nodded. 'The levels of naquadah in his blood are very minute. It's probable that a normal blood test would miss the anomaly completely.'

'I understand he can't use the Goa'uld technology?' Mackenzie checked.

'Correct. He and Major Carter experimented just before the Kelowna mission.' Janet sipped her coffee. 'He was unable to activate either the healing device or the hand device.'

Mackenzie nodded. 'And his ability to sense Goa'uld is also minimal?'

'He can sense Major Carter and Teal'c if they're standing close to him but not if they're across the room. The Major can sense him in the room but Teal'c cannot.' Janet said crisply. 'The Major has theorised that the Colonel'll be able to sense a Goa'uld in close proximity like Teal'c but not at the range she can.'

'Interesting.' Mackenzie murmured. 'Obviously the difference is due to the symbiote actually dying in the Major's body.'

Janet nodded. 'That's the prevailing theory.' She waved a hand at him. 'As you say, I think it's helped the Colonel place his own experience in regards to being a host in perspective. In comparison to the Major, he has much less to contend with.'

'Which just leaves the matter of his extended torture.' Mackenzie said.

'His physical progress has been impressive.' Janet acknowledged, finishing the coffee and setting the mug aside. 'He's worked hard to regain his fitness. I wouldn't have agreed to the Kelownan mission myself if physically he wasn't ready for off-world travel.' She left unsaid that Mackenzie's view of the Colonel's psychological status was the deciding factor.

'He's no longer exhibiting any of the usual signs of PTSD.' Mackenzie noted. 'He's surprisingly forthright about what he went through...'

'Really?' Janet blurted out. She pulled a face. 'Sorry.'

Mackenzie smiled. 'I don't blame you, Janet. I admit that I had anticipated more of a battle with him myself.'

'So, he's been co-operative?' Janet checked, almost unsure they were talking about the same Colonel O'Neill that she knew; the one that usually eschewed any kind of emotional sharing and hid behind a shield of wry sarcasm and dry wit; who winced openly at the mention of psychological help or assessment.

'For the Colonel,' Mackenzie qualified, 'very.' He gestured awkwardly. 'Within the boundaries he has set.'

'Wow.' Janet folded her arms. 'Are you concerned that his co-operation is an act to divert attention from his issues?'

Mackenzie shook his head. 'I believe he has been sincere.' He pursed his lips. 'There is one area of our discussion where the Colonel remains evasive however.'

Janet frowned. She wondered if it had anything to do with the Colonel's old feelings for Samantha Carter. He would want to protect the Major from any fallout but then why would his old feelings factor into his experience with Ba'al? She knew Mackenzie wouldn't go into the details but she definitely needed more than he had hinted at...

'Perhaps if I was to say that it concerns those moments where he was left in a cell alone.' Mackenzie expanded as though he had read her mind.

He probably had picked up on her body language, Janet thought ruefully, relaxing as she realised whatever the Colonel was hiding was related to his experience and unlikely to concern old confessions of feeling more than he should for a member of his team. She focused on her colleague. 'Do you believe that the Colonel is hiding any suicidal thoughts he had during that time?'

'No,' Mackenzie shook his head. 'That's not a concern.'

His gaze remained guarded and Janet realised he and the Colonel had already touched on the subject of suicide. Her heart beat a little faster. It wouldn't have been unusual for the Colonel to have contemplated suicide during his captivity given what he was going through and evidently Mackenzie had been assured that any suicidal thoughts had been appropriate and no longer relevant.

She pushed her hair back behind an ear. 'Rape?' She inquired, keeping her query professionally brisk. The sarcophagus would have eliminated any physical evidence and it would explain the Colonel's reticence.

'I don't believe so.' Mackenzie said. 'While I believe he would be disinclined to confide such an experience regardless of what else he has shared, he's exhibited no other signs. He's comfortable around Teal'c which rules out a Jaffa; comfortable around me insofar as I'm another male; and he's quite clear that he only saw Ba'al during the torture sessions.'

'So...'

'It's not unusual for traumatised victims to experience hallucinations during captivity.' Mackenzie said mildly.

'And you're concerned that if the Colonel hasn't admitted to these hallucinations they could possibly resurface during his mock-capture by Khonsu.' Janet realised. She sat back and contemplated Mackenzie's concern. 'There is an alternative theory.'

'That his time was spent in contemplation of other events of his life.' Mackenzie supplied. 'And that his evasion is down to his compartmentalisation; he doesn't consider it relevant and so he won't discuss it.' He nodded. 'Yes, I have considered that.'

Janet sat forward. 'Perhaps you should ask him outright if he experienced hallucinations, you may be able to assess from his reaction what the truth of the matter is.'

'I agree.' Mackenzie sighed. 'I guess I just needed to have it confirmed as the only option; I had hoped to avoid such a confrontational approach.'

Janet's lips twitched. 'The Colonel has been known to appreciate a direct question.' Humour lit up her brown eyes. 'You should just be prepared for...'

'A direct answer.' Mackenzie finished with a rueful smile. He uncrossed his ankles and shifted position, clearly signalling the end of the consultation. 'And it was going so well.' He quipped.

Janet got to her feet and shoved her hands in the deep pockets of her wool coat. 'Look at it this way, Robert; if he reassures you on this issue, it will be his final session.'

Mackenzie nodded as he escorted her to the door. 'Let's hope.'

Janet nodded as she said goodbye. She made her way through the corridors, heading for the outside where she had arranged to meet Jonas and Teal'c.

She really hoped it was the Colonel's final session; hoped he would return to the field with SG1. She remembered all too well how impossible such a recovery had seemed when she had collected the Colonel from the Alpha site. It would be a victory of sorts to see him back in action and God knew they needed some kind of victory to raise spirits. The loss of Daniel still hung over the base...everything seemed harder without him around.

Or maybe that was just her.

Janet hunched her shoulders as she got into the elevator. She punched the floor button and slumped back against the wall of the small compartment. She closed her eyes. She had promised herself a night out with Sam when the Colonel was recovered. It would be the first step in trying to move on from her unrequited and hopeless feelings about Daniel and the feelings she suspected her friend was still harbouring about the Colonel. It was time, Janet thought determinedly; it was time to move forward.

o-O-o

Sam changed gear smoothly as she accelerated away from the base checkpoint and onto the open road. She glanced across at her passenger. Jonas sat quietly beside her, unusually silent. He hadn't asked a single question since she had picked him up from his office. She knew he'd had a rough time with the visit to Kelowna and the discovery of his mentor's illness. It couldn't have been easy for him seeing his old professor admitted to a mental hospital the day before.

She bit her lip as she wondered if she should say something. She and Jonas had a solid working relationship but she hadn't developed the easy friendship with him that she'd enjoyed with Daniel. It hadn't helped that Jonas had kept his distance from the rest of the team in an effort to give the Colonel space during his recovery. She sighed.

The Colonel had shown a remarkable show of will to return to the field. She knew from her own past with Jolinar that it wasn't easy to come to terms with being an ex-host but to face that on top of the torture he had been subjected to...her fingers clenched on the steering wheel. Admiration for the Colonel, with an edge of something far more dangerous, sneaked upon her before she could wrestle her emotions into their proper place. She rolled her shoulders. It was disheartening to realise that she was more in love with him than ever.

Her mind slipped to Janet's invitation to a girls' night out the following Saturday. She winced. She had been unable to formulate a valid excuse to get out of it. Janet had been so keen and she had felt unable to refuse. She tapped her fingers absently along with the music playing from her CD player. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to get out, have a couple of drinks in a nice bar somewhere and Janet was good company. It had been a while since she'd actually done something like that.

A long while.

Most of her nights out in the previous five years had involved team nights with SG1 such as the one she was on her way to enjoy that evening. The Colonel had issued the invitations earlier after confirming he had successfully been cleared for full duty by Doctor Mackenzie. She figured he'd also wanted to cheer up Jonas although she was sure the probability of the Colonel ever admitting that would involve freezing temperatures in Hell. Her eyes briefly checked on Jonas. It was his first team night. Any other time she would have expected him to have been excited as it was...

Sam cleared her throat. 'You OK, Jonas?'

'Fine, thanks.' Jonas replied, his mind clearly elsewhere.

'Penny for them?' Sam asked impulsively. Just because she and Jonas weren't friends the way she and Daniel had been didn't mean that she couldn't offer him a shoulder, Sam mused resolutely. That's what team-mates did for each other after all.

Jonas looked at her confused.

'It means what's on your mind.' Sam clarified. She lifted a hand from the wheel. 'You seem miles away, lost in thought.'

Jonas's face cleared and he gave a chagrined grimace. 'I'm sorry. I'm not exactly good company tonight.'

She looked at him sympathetically. 'You thinking about Doctor Kieran?'

'Not exactly.'

Jonas surprised her with his answer and some of it must have showed because he gestured awkwardly.

'I mean, I do think about him but there's not a great deal I can do for him and the facility seems very well equipped to handle his illness so...' his voice trailed away.

'Then, what are you thinking about?' Sam pressed as she took the next turn-off.

'I've been reading up on some old Earth history.' Jonas explained. 'The Manhattan project to be exact.'

'Ah.' Sam gave an inward sigh as she realised he had gone in search of Earth's own experience with weapons of mass destruction and specifically the first atomic bomb. 'And?'

'And there are some parallels between what happened here and Kelowna.' Jonas said. 'Not so much in the political scenarios leading to the use of the bombs but in the scientific endeavours that led to their creation.' He shifted in his seat to look at her fully. 'I was fascinated by the documented account of Doctor Oppenheimer's thoughts as he witnessed the first test.'

Sam cast her mind back. 'The 'I am become death; the destroyer of worlds' thing?'

'Yes.' Jonas nodded. 'Doctor Kieran said that he had nightmares about the bomb test on Kelowna. If it was even half as powerful as the atomic bomb Doctor Oppenheimer witnessed...' he sighed heavily. 'And then there's me.'

'You?' Sam looked at him startled. 'I thought Janet said you were fine.'

'Sure, physically I wasn't as exposed as Doctor Kieran to the naquadria and my role quickly moved from the actual scientific engineering to a more supervisory position so my exposure was very minimal compared to Doctor Kieran.' Jonas said. 'No, what I meant was: I was supposed to be the ethical advisor on the bomb.' He looked at her with the air of a man confessing his sins to his priest. 'I could have stopped it right back when I joined the naquadria programme.'

'Jonas,' Sam leaned forward and switched off the background music, 'let's suppose for a moment that you're right; that it was up to you to stop this. Why didn't you?'

Jonas slumped back in his seat and looked away from her. 'Because at the time I thought we were doing the right thing.'

'Why?' Sam pushed harder. When he didn't answer she turned to look at him only to find him staring back at her. 'Jonas?'

'Uh, sorry.' Jonas gave an apologetic smile. 'It's just...you reminded me of Doctor Kieran for a moment there.'

Her eyebrows rose.

'I mean, before...when he used to be my professor.' Jonas added hurriedly.

'Thank you.' She said dryly.

'And to answer your question, because I thought a bomb would be a deterrent.' Jonas admitted. 'I didn't think we'd ever actually use it.' He sighed. 'When I realised that my government really did intend to use it...'

'You made a stand and left.' Sam completed.

'But too late to stop them.' Jonas pointed out.

'So what you're saying is that you should have been able to read their minds or predict the future?' Sam shot back. She darted a glance at him. 'You had no way of knowing their intentions, Jonas. You made the best decision you could with the knowledge you had at the time. That's all any of us can do.'

'Maybe I should have objected to the idea of a bomb being created in the first place.' Jonas argued. 'Science is supposed to be about the pursuit of knowledge, about benefiting society not about building bombs.'

Sam smiled sadly. 'You remind me of Daniel. He and I had this same debate one time.'

'I do?' Jonas asked surprised. 'I mean...I...' He trailed away awkwardly.

'It's OK.' Sam said, realising he was wondering if he was treading on a sensitive spot for her. 'It was meant to be a compliment.'

'I can't see Doctor Jackson ever agreeing with my government's decision to build the bomb.'

'No,' Sam said, 'Daniel knows if you build a bomb even as a deterrent you generally intend to use it even if it's just once.'

'Because it really only becomes a deterrent if people see the destruction it can bring and truly fear it.' Jonas nodded. 'Colonel O'Neill made the same argument and I see what he meant now.'

'Well, Daniel and the Colonel both have the benefit of hindsight.' Sam said. 'And not all bombs are bad. They can be used in the rescue of people trapped somewhere or to facilitate an escape. Bombs are not intrinsically evil; it's how they're used that defines that.' She frowned, her mind drifting back. 'And sometimes, it's not always black and white. If you believe that a bomb is the only way of preventing the loss of many lives in your own nation state because your enemy is capable of sustaining a protracted war you have no way of winning, is using it really wrong even if it takes out a number of your enemy in the most horrendous way possible? Sometimes the ethical and moral dilemmas aren't easy to navigate.'

'That sounds like the voice of experience.' Jonas commented.

Sam lifted one shoulder. 'I've been ordered to make a bomb to blow up a ship carrying the last hope of a dead race to be resurrected in order to save a group of people on the planet below. It wasn't an easy order to follow.'

'But you followed it.' Jonas stated.

She noted he didn't ask which mission and assumed he knew she was referring to the situation with the Gadmeer and the Enkarans. 'Unless you are absolutely certain you're being ordered to do something illegal, you don't get choose which orders you follow and which you don't when you're in the military, Jonas.' Sam sighed. 'I didn't like the order and I was pleased when Daniel found another option but at the end of the day, I would have followed the order and I would have felt responsible for the destruction of the Gadmeer.'

'I feel responsible.' Jonas said as she made the turning into the Colonel's drive. 'I feel like Oppenheimer; like I have blood on my hands.'

'Maybe we're meant to feel that way.' Sam said softly, parking the car behind the Colonel's truck. She turned the engine off and exchanged an understanding look with Jonas. 'We should take responsibility.'

Jonas nodded slowly. 'You're right; you're right. It's just...' he gave a grimace, 'it isn't easy to come to terms with that.'

Sam reached over and patted his arm. 'It shouldn't be easy, Jonas.' She tilted her head. 'I think the day it becomes easy...that's when you should start worrying.'

He nodded again.

She jerked her head at the house in front of them. 'Come on. Let's go eat some bad barbeque and watch a movie.'

Jonas looked startled but followed her out of the car. Sam bit her lip as she knocked on the wood of the front door. She couldn't help but wonder if she'd helped Jonas or just confused him more. What she did know was that she was suddenly in need of the beer the Colonel was bound to offer her.

o-O-o

Jack tipped the beer bottle and swallowed a large gulp of the cold liquid. He was trying to ignore Carter curled up on the sofa next to him. She was close enough that he could feel the warmth of her arm against his; the touch of her thigh as it bumped his; the scent of her shampoo. He tried to focus on the television where the movie Teal'c had chosen was playing out. He really had no idea what it was about. He'd lost interest around the time the main character had claimed to be an alien. He really wasn't that into sci-fi. Still, Jack mused, there were worse ways to while away a couple of hours than to sit next to Carter and spend some time with his team.

His dark eyes drifted to Jonas and felt a twinge of guilt. They really should have done a team night when the kid joined SG1 but Jack hadn't been ready. His jaw tensed. The _team_ hadn't been ready, he corrected mentally – and he stood by that. And they would have done something sooner if it hadn't been for the whole getting snaked and tortured by Ba'al episode.

A slight shudder ran through him and he ignored it. It was behind him. He had cleared the last of his psych sessions and was returned to full duty. He traced the label on the bottle with his thumb as his mind slipped back to his hour with Mackenzie...

_'I have to tell you, Colonel, that I would have cleared you already except I believe there is something about your time in the cell that you haven't yet mentioned.' The sharp-eyed psychiatrist levelled a 'you don't fool me' look at Jack._

_Jack resisted the urge to squirm and kept his mouth shut. There was no way in hell he was admitting to seeing Daniel._

_'It's not unusual for someone alone in captivity to hallucinate during periods of solitude.' Mackenzie offered into the silence._

_Jack stared back at him sardonically. 'Was there a question in there, Doc?'_

_'Yes,' Mackenzie admitted with a rueful 'you got me' gesture, 'there was.'_

_'No,' Jack said firmly, 'I didn't hallucinate anything. Well,' he paused and made a face, 'Shallan but that was really more of a memory than a hallucination although I might not have, maybe, exactly realised that at the time.'_

_Mackenzie twirled his pen around his fingers. 'I see.'_

_Jack lifted an eyebrow. It was in part a challenge to see if the doctor was going to call him on his statement._

_Mackenzie sighed. 'I think we're done, Colonel.'_

_Jack hid his satisfaction and sprang to his feet. 'You won't mind if I say I hope not to see you again, Doc.'_

_'My sentiments exactly, Colonel.'_

_Jack's mouth fell open; the shrink had a sense of humour; who knew?_

_Mackenzie smiled. 'Good luck, Colonel.'_

Of course, Jack thought with some chagrin, he wasn't really sure of he hadn't hallucinated Daniel. It seemed bizarre looking back.

Daniel.

Glowy Daniel who could let shoes pass right through him.

Maybe it hadn't been Daniel. After all, if it had been Daniel, wouldn't his _friend_ have broken him out of there the first minute he'd laid eyes on him? And then there was the offer of Ascension. Daniel had to have known _that_ was going nowhere...

But.

He couldn't shake the belief that it _had_ been Daniel.

He'd looked the same.

Sounded the same.

Daniel had gotten him out of there eventually. And he'd given Jack hope that he would be OK: hope that he'd recover from his experience.

And Jack had.

He gulped back his beer and frowned at the empty bottle. Maybe it had been a hallucination but he really, really preferred to believe it had been Daniel – even if he had taken his time getting Jack's butt out of there.

God, he missed Daniel. He missed his friend's presence at the team night. His eyes landed on Jonas again.

It wasn't Jonas's fault Daniel wasn't there and he was. Jack had accepted that a long while back otherwise Jonas would never have made it onto SG1. He figured even if Jonas had been the one to act initially, Daniel would have rushed to help anyway, still have received his fatal dose of radiation; still have gone glowy.

Jonas had done the right thing. Maybe it had taken him some time to get there but he had done the right thing. Unlike the rest of the Kelownan government who seemed determined to ignore things like truth and honesty. He scowled. Not that their own government was sometimes any better but that wasn't the point...the Kelownan's had tried to smear Daniel's name and that was unacceptable to Jack.

His eyes went to Jonas again. More, he hadn't been overly impressed with the way they'd treated Jonas. The kid had certainly not been prepared for the cold shoulder he'd received nor for the way they'd tried to use him over his old professor who was, to put it bluntly, nuts. Whichever way he looked at it, Jonas had had a rough couple of days. Not that the team night was about cheering up the newest member of the team. Nope. Nothing to do with trying to get a smile out of the kid.

Which was just as well, Jack mused as Jonas quietly got to his feet and made his way through the open door to the deck outside, seeing as it seemed to be failing to achieve that simple objective.

Jack sighed inwardly and turned back to the others to find them looking at him. He bristled. 'What?'

'Perhaps you should check on him, sir.' Sam offered tentatively.

'Major Carter is correct.' Teal'c raised the eyebrow. 'It is your turn, O'Neill.'

Jack looked from the Jaffa – and who could argue with the eyebrow – to Sam who smiled at him expectantly. He got to his feet. 'I just want to make it clear that I'm only going to check on Jonas because that's my job. I'm the leader here.'

Teal'c inclined his head but Jack caught the hint of a smile on the Jaffa's lips.

By contrast, Sam's smile widened and her blue eyes shone with repressed mirth. 'Yes, sir.'

He wondered how she managed to make the two words so...so insubordinate. He spun on his heel and headed into the kitchen. He got no respect.

He was so proud.

He grabbed a couple of beers, knocked the tops off them and made his way out to the deck, closing the door behind him. Jonas sat on the lawn, legs stretched out in front of him, knees slightly bent, looking up at the night sky. Jack sent a darting look up at the darkness; it was cloudy, barely a star shining. He ambled over and sat down next to the newest member of SG1. He handed him the beer.

Jonas looked at him startled and took the beer without thinking. He regarded the bottle for a long time before he eventually raised it to his lips and took a hesitant sip. He made a face as he swallowed and coughed.

Jack hid his smile by taking a large gulp of his own beer.

'People actually drink this?' Jonas asked incredulous.

'Yup.' Jack said succinctly.

'Unbelievable.' Jonas muttered. He set the beer bottle down beside him in the grass and clasped his hands loosely over his knees.

Jack gestured back towards the house. 'You didn't like the movie?'

'It was interesting,' Jonas said, 'I, uh, just needed some air.' He gestured briefly at the shadowy garden. 'You have a great home. We don't have this much land in Kelowna. Everyone pretty much lives in apartment buildings and...' he stopped suddenly. 'Sorry, you probably don't want to hear this.'

Jack could understand why Jonas would assume that. He hadn't exactly made his dislike of Kelowna a secret. 'You're allowed to miss your home, Jonas.'

Jonas's eyes shot to him as though shocked.

'So what's really on your mind?' Jack asked bluntly, deciding a full frontal attack was called for if they weren't going to end up spending the whole night out in the yard.

'They've probably used the bomb,' Jonas began.

'Yes. So?' Jack prompted impatiently.

'So I helped build it.' Jonas said as though Jack wasn't already aware of Jonas's past history with the bomb.

'And?'

'And it's probably killed hundreds of people and...' he stumbled into silence.

'Bombs do that.' Jack said implacably.

'With all due respect, Colonel, I think I'm allowed to take a moment and feel some responsibility here.'

For the first time since they'd met, Jonas sounded pissy at him. Jack liked pissy. It was better than the self-pity that had coloured Jonas's earlier tone and showed the kid might actually have the gumption to stand up to him one day.

'So you should.' Jack agreed. He waited a beat. 'You finished taking that moment now?'

Jonas stared at him in disbelief.

'Jonas,' Jack said with some exasperation, 'what did you think would happen?'

Jonas jerked his gaze away. 'I thought it was going to be a deterrent.'

Jack remembered that. He sighed.

'I should have been able to stop it.' Jonas argued. 'I was their advisor on ethics and social policy. I should have known...'

'That they were going to use it?' Jack supplied, bringing Jonas to a halt. 'You wanted to think the best.' The younger man shared that trait with Daniel.

'I was naive.' Jonas commented ruefully.

'So next time you'll know better.' Jack gestured with the bottle. 'You already do.'

'It really wouldn't have made any difference if I had stayed behind and tried to stop them, would it?' Jonas asked bitterly.

Jack let the question drift away on the breeze that brushed his skin. He figured Jonas already knew the answer. 'You're making a difference here.' He commented.

Jonas stared at him. 'I am?'

'Yes.' Jack replied succinctly, wondering if he'd ever had more conversations with Daniel about his achievements whether it would have made Daniel think twice about Ascension. 'Don't let it go to your head.' He advised with his usual brusqueness. 'You still have a lot to learn.'

'Right.' Jonas said hurriedly.

'Including when to accept that there are some things you can't change.' Jack said firmly.

Jonas grimaced. 'That's easier said than done, Colonel.'

'It's not supposed to be easy.' Jack countered.

'Major Carter said the same thing.' Jonas said.

'Well, she's right.' Jack felt another twinge of pride. Carter had come a long way from the green as grass Captain who'd gleefully waxed lyrical about the event horizon. 'You have to learn to live with it or else you'll go nuts.'

'Like Doctor Kieran?' Jonas replied.

Jack winced. He never had been the most sensitive guy on the planet.

'Actually I think you could be right.' Jonas said, oblivious to Jack's reaction. 'Obviously the naquadria exposure caused the physical degradation but you have to wonder whether seeing the test bomb and the destruction it caused didn't have something to do with his mental decline.'

Jack's lips twisted and he took a gulp of his beer. Yep. It looked like Jonas was going to be OK. He staggered to his feet. 'Come on.' He waved back at the house. 'We should get inside before Teal'c and Carter send out a search party.'

Jonas got up with an ease of youth that Jack envied. He reached down for his beer bottle and Jack snagged it out of his hand.

'We'll get you another ginger ale.' Jack offered generously. More beer for him, he thought.

'Thanks, Colonel, and for, uh.' Jonas gestured awkwardly.

Jack shrugged away his gratitude. 'Just don't make a habit of it. And hey,' he raised the bottle, 'first beer.'

Jonas smiled and it may have been slightly dimmer than the grins that usually adorned his face but Jack would take it. He followed Jonas inside to the warmth, got Jonas his drink and sat back down beside Carter.

'So what did we miss?' Jonas asked brightly, evidently eager to catch up on the movie.

Jack tuned out Teal'c's succinct reply and the banter as Carter started to nitpick at the plot. He let his eyes travel around the four of them. It wasn't the same, would never be the same without Daniel, Jack mused thoughtfully, but they were a team; they were SG1.


	32. Back to SG1

**Author's Note: **Team friendship. Sam/Jack UST.

**The Other Guys Recap:** _SG1 is babysitting a small team of scientists on P4X233. One of the scientists, Jay Felger worships SG1 and irritates the others with his open adoration. An alkesh attacks and SG1 is captured. Ignoring Jack's explicit orders to hide and return to the SGC, Felger insists on rescuing them sending Meyers back to report to Hammond. He and fellow scientist Simon Coombs ring up to the mothership._

_The First Prime of Khonsu, Herak, gloats about SG1's capture and the team don't even make an attempt to escape. Felger and Coombs turn up much to Jack's frustration; SG1 are on a mission to meet with Khonsu, who is an undercover Tok'ra, and receive vital information about Anubis's access to Goa'uld technology. Two Jaffa loyal to Khonsu arrive to reassure SG1. They take custody of Felger and Coombs hiding them in a storage room._

_Unfortunately as they reach Khonsu's planet, SG1 is taken to a new prison and Felger and Coombs watch as the two Free Jaffa are killed. Knowing something is up they don the uniforms and ring down. Meanwhile Herak kills Khonsu who has been discovered as a Tok'ra. Herak brings SG1before him telling them of Khonsu's demise and torturing Jack with a pain stick. He tells them Anubis is on the way._

_Back at the SGC, Hammond has been informed of developments via the Tok'ra but is unable to do anything to help rescue SG1. Khonsu's planet is too heavily fortified. SG1 will have to get out on their own._

_Felger and Coombs discover the computer core of the pyramid and free SG1 from their prison. Felger goes to assist SG1 while Coombs gets the shield around the pyramid down. Although SG1 get out and retake the Stargate, Coombs is trapped. Jack and Teal'c go back for him and they all escape back through the Stargate._

_Felger daydreams that his heroics have gained him a medal, the undying gratitude of SG1 and the heart of Sam – imagining her kissing him, but Coombs pokes him back to reality. _

**Back to SG1**

The scent of the candles surrounded him and Daniel Jackson found himself breathing in slowly to capture the taste of vanilla and raspberry. Across the floor, Teal'c sat deep in kel no reeem. The flickering flames cast light across his dark face and caught the dull gold gleam of his Goa'uld brand. The Jaffa's eyes were closed but he sat with perfect posture; completely at ease with his body. Daniel settled into a similar cross-legged position and let himself relax in the company of his old friend.

Daniel felt his worry melt away with the slow burning wax. His friends were all safe. Their capture by Khonsu's treacherous First Prime had been overturned by the actions of two enterprising, and frankly, unlikely heroes in the shape of Jay Felger and Simon Coombs. They had all made it safely home and Daniel felt the tension that had plagued him during the long hours of their situation finally roll away.

He opened his eyes and looked at Teal'c. He missed them all so much. He missed the intellectual sparring and understanding he shared with Samantha Carter; the banter and brotherly sniping of his friendship with Jack; the steadfast solidarity of Teal'c. He'd checked in with the others already; Jack was at home watching The Simpsons, and Sam was in her lab arguing with Rodney McKay on the latest X303 progress. Daniel had found Teal'c in the Jaffa's quarters.

He felt Oma appear beside him and let his gaze drift across to her. She wore a simple white dress which pooled around her as she sat down. Daniel guessed she was checking up on him. He'd effectively told her in their last conversation that he had no intentions of letting go of his bonds with his friends. It wasn't exactly in the spirit of Ascension. He remained silent and focused on the candle light.

'Your friends survived without your help.' Oma said.

Daniel was confident that Teal'c couldn't hear them given that although they were in the Jaffa's quarters, Oma and he were actually on a whole other dimension. 'They did.' He agreed and he was surprised at the acceptance that coloured his own voice.

Before his Ascension he often worried whether the team really needed him when they managed to pull off some miracle without him but all he felt this time was pride and relief that they were fine. Maybe it was the circumstances, he mused. It had been his choice to Ascend whereas it had never been a choice before. Or maybe the distance had helped him realise that even when they hadn't needed him, they had always wanted him.

'Yet you are here.' Oma murmured. There was enough confusion in her voice that he smiled.

'Just checking in.' Daniel said mildly.

She opened her eyes and looked at him challengingly but he held her gaze.

A sharp knock on the door broke the deadlock.

Teal'c's eyes snapped open. For a long moment, the Jaffa stared straight at him and Daniel held his breath wondering if Teal'c could actually see him. The Jaffa cleared his throat. 'Enter.'

Jonas Quinn poked his head around the door. 'Hey, Teal'c.' His gaze snagged on the candles. 'Sorry, I, uh, didn't...'

'You have not disturbed me, Jonas Quinn.' Teal'c said, gracefully getting to his feet. He began to snuff out the candles. 'I have finished my kel no reem.'

'Great,' Jonas smiled and jerked a thumb at the corridor, 'want some dinner?'

'Indeed.' Teal'c cast another suspicious look in Daniel's direction before he followed Jonas out and closed the door, plunging the room into darkness.

Daniel reached out with his mind and gently lit one of the larger candles. 'I told you I wasn't going to stop caring about them.' He pointed out with a hint of exasperation. 'But I haven't done anything. I didn't get them out of the cell. I didn't even help Coombs find the right information on the Goa'uld computer. Like you said; it was all them.'

Oma remained silent.

'I know you're concerned because the Others will punish you if I help my friends.' Daniel stated with some frustration. 'I know and I don't know how to convince you that I won't break the rules.' Although he wasn't promising that he wouldn't try to bend them.

Oma looked back at him evenly. 'It is the nature of the wind to blow, the river to flow, the eagle to fly.'

And she believed it was in his nature to act. 'If you're so sure I'm going to screw up, then why not send me back?' Daniel asked bluntly.

Oma looked at him solemnly. 'Your fate is in your hands, Daniel.'

'Right.' Daniel tried to prevent the knot of anger forming in his gut. He refocused on the candle, trying to retain the relaxation he'd felt before with Teal'c. 'So, you're following me around waiting for me to screw up.'

'Would you be surprised if I say that I am concerned for you?' Oma replied, and he heard her anxiety, felt it.

They stared at each other again.

Daniel finally looked away. So she was protecting him. 'Are the Others really so bad?' he questioned. 'Morgan seemed...'

'Morgan,' Oma interrupted, 'is not one of the Others.'

'Oh.' Daniel assimilated that small nugget of information. He had thought the Ascended spirit of Morgan Le Fay had been one of the fabled Others when he'd met her some weeks before. He pushed the thought away and glanced back at Oma, catching the fleeting glimpse of worry that chased across her usually calm features. His conscience stirred.

The Others were capable of harsh punishments; their treatment of Orlin and the Velona had taught Daniel that. And he also knew if he broke the rules as Oma's protégée, there was a real risk to Oma herself and the work she did in helping people like him to Ascend. She had only helped him because he had committed to releasing his burden – to letting go of the very bonds he now insisted he was keeping.

Daniel sighed. 'I'm sorry.'

Oma tilted her head. 'But you intend to continue on this path.'

'If you mean do I intend to keep checking in on my friends, then yes.' Daniel said firmly. He refused to budge on it. He wasn't going to pretend that it didn't matter to him what happened to them. Not after Jack's experience with Ba'al.

'Then you should be aware that I shall keep checking in on you.' Oma said mildly.

Daniel nodded. He guessed it was only fair even if it did rankle.

'Daniel,' Oma reached out to him and he felt her power brush over his energy form, 'I ask only to consider your journey. How can a man travel to his destination if he never leaves his home?'

There was a blur of white as Oma transformed and an instant later she was gone.

'She asks an interesting question.'

Daniel spun around to look at his unexpected guest: Morgan. She looked the same as she had when she had appeared to him before; a forty-something woman with brown hair in a bob, and an enigmatic smile. He stared at her as she moved out of the shadows and into the puddle of candle light. 'Morgan.' He frowned. 'How long have you, uh...'

'Long enough.' Morgan sank into the position Oma had vacated. 'You should forgive Oma. She knows the punishments the Others can inflict only too well.' Her lips twisted. 'As do I.'

'You've been punished by the Others?' Daniel asked, curious to know more about her.

'Actually, I was once their Enforcer.' Morgan commented, adjusting her skirts so they covered her legs completely.

Daniel's eyebrows shot up. 'Their, uh, Enforcer?'

'It was a long time ago.' Morgan said dismissively.

'But you're not an Enforcer anymore?' Daniel checked. 'Or one of them?'

'No.' Morgan shook her head. There was a glint of amusement in her eyes as though she knew exactly how nervous she had just made him.

'Why not?' Daniel asked, his curiosity rising again.

Morgan sighed. 'Let's just say I didn't complete a mission to their satisfaction.' She held up a hand before he could open his mouth. 'And before you ask why, it was because I listened to Galahad.' She looked at Daniel with an odd expression in her eyes. 'I've missed him.'

Daniel shifted a little uncomfortable at the intensity of her gaze. 'Will you tell me about your time with Arthur?' He asked eagerly instead. He longed to hear about it; the myths were fascinating but what was the truth?

'I cannot.' She said regretfully.

'Really?' Daniel check, genuinely disappointed. 'I mean, why?'

'It's not allowed.' Morgan replied. She looked briefly around the room. 'It's been a long time since I visited Earth.' Her power drifted out and lit the remaining candles, brightening the room. 'Oma was right, you know. You should consider your journey.'

Daniel shrugged. 'I'm still...travelling.' He replied, waving a hand at her. 'Just visiting friends occasionally on the way.'

'Or perhaps you have found your destination.' Morgan said.

'You mean here?' Daniel laughed softly. 'But that's, I mean, I left because I know it isn't my destination.' He smiled sadly. 'I don't belong here.'

'Then why are you here?' Morgan prompted.

Her gentle words impacted with the force of a punch. He didn't have a response for her. He turned away and let his eyes settle on the flame of a candle. 'You believe Oma made a mistake Ascending me.' He spoke his realisation out loud into the silence.

'I believe you are worthy of Ascension, Daniel.' Morgan replied. 'But I believe the rules are there for a reason. That you cannot let go of the bonds you have with your friends is perhaps one indication that you were not ready and Oma should have known that.'

She was right, Daniel mused. 'Maybe I wasn't ready.' He admitted. 'And maybe holding onto the bonds I have will ultimately be a bad thing, I don't know. What I do know is that Ascension...feels right. That I'm meant to do this.' He gestured at her. 'Either way Oma isn't to blame.'

Morgan nodded slowly. 'Perhaps you are meant to do this.' Her sight turned inward and Daniel felt a frisson of unease as though she could see something in his situation that he couldn't. 'And perhaps Oma's judgement was right about you.'

'But?' prompted Daniel as she hesitated to continue.

'Her judgement isn't always right.' Morgan said quietly.

Daniel searched her expression for more of an explanation and found none. He gave a huff of frustration. 'And you don't think her judgement was right when she helped me Ascend.'

Morgan smiled. 'I disagree with her reasons to Ascend you.'

Daniel stared at her. He had asked Oma once why she had Ascended him and her answer of 'balance' hadn't really provided him with any illumination. 'Does it matter?'

'If her reasons had more to do with her than you; yes.' Morgan stated bluntly.

He suddenly wasn't sure he wanted to discuss Oma's intentions with Morgan. Whatever the state of his relationship with Oma, he owed her a great deal – both for Shifu and himself.

Morgan's face lit up with amusement. 'You're very loyal, Daniel.' She placed a hand on his arm and he felt the ripple of her power. 'And I won't make you choose. Be careful.'

She disappeared in a shimmer of light that blew out the candles and left Daniel sitting in the dark.

It was, Daniel considered with a hint of humour, only fitting; he couldn't remember being more confused. Maybe Morgan had a point about Oma's motives; maybe Oma had a point about his own. Maybe he should be more concerned that he couldn't let go; maybe he should focus on his journey more.

Daniel let out a heavy sigh.

He reached out with his mind and lit a candle. He meditated on the flame, hoping to attain some of the quiet contentment that had filled him before the arrival of the Ascended women.

o-O-o

'_Tell me what you know!' Herak's demand echoed across the throne room._

_Jack writhed in pain as the stick hit him again. 'I don't know!' He managed to get out._

_His vision darkened._

_The throne room disappeared and Ba'al leered over him. 'Tell me what you know!'_

_The pain stick descended again..._

The loud ringing shattered the nightmare into smithereens as Jack's eyes snapped open. He slapped one hand over his face, futilely trying to rub away the dream and the last vestiges of sleep as the other hand blindly sought the cordless phone he kept in the bedroom. His fingers eventually landed on the plastic casing on the floor beside his bed and he picked up the phone, pressing the answer button.

'O'Neill.' He barked.

'Colonel,' General Hammond replied evenly, 'I'm sorry to disturb you so early...'

Jack lowered his hand to look at the clock; oh-five-hundred. ''S OK, General.' He mumbled. 'What's up?'

'I need you back at the SGC ASAP.' Hammond informed him. 'Colonel Sumner's wife has been involved in a car accident.' He sighed. 'It's serious.'

Which meant Sumner was being recalled from the Alpha site and Hammond needed him there, Jack realised. He was the only other Colonel at the SGC with detailed knowledge of the set-up.

'SG1 will accompany you to the Alpha site where you will assume command with immediate effect.' Hammond continued confirming Jack's surmisation. 'Your team are being notified now. Departure time is set for oh-seven-hundred.'

'Understood, sir.' Jack replied briskly, forcing himself to sit up. 'I'm on my way.'

'Very well, Colonel.' Hammond signed off and Jack hit the button to end the call. He tossed the phone onto the bed carelessly and rubbed his hands over his face. He grimaced at the lingering edge of dread his nightmare had left him with and pushed himself out of the warmth of the tangled bedcovers.

He made for a shower, welcoming the rush of warm water over his body. He focused on getting through his ablutions as quickly as possible. The soap ran over the faint red mark the pain stick had left and the sting made him wince; the memory of his nightmare poked at him.

Not thinking about it, Jack thought determinedly. He didn't want to acknowledge it had happened even. His experience with Ba'al had left him plagued with nightmares but they'd eventually faded during the weeks of his recovery and he wasn't pleased to see them return.

His jaw firmed as he left the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He gazed in the mirror and smothered the lower half of his face in shaving cream. The shave was efficient and brisk. He rinsed off the remaining soap and patted his face dry.

Mackenzie had warned him that the nightmares would likely reoccur in times of stress as though Jack didn't already know the drill; it was natural, normal. Jack's face screwed up at the thought. He threw the damp towels on the floor of the bedroom and began to dress.

It might be normal but that didn't mean he liked it, Jack thought irritated. And he knew exactly what had triggered him off again: the damn mission to see Khonsu. He rolled his dark eyes as he fastened his pants and reached for a warm sweater. Damn Tok'ra. The entire thing had been their idea. What was it the guy had said?

'_A way to put our recent misunderstandings behind us and show trust in each other.'_

Jack snorted. There were no misunderstandings in his mind. Kanan had used him just like Jolinar had used Carter and Lantash had used Elliot. When it came right down to it, apparently a snake was a snake.

He stuffed his feet into his boots and yanked on the laces. OK, maybe the exception was Selmak. Jacob Carter certainly seemed to enjoy their relationship but Jack still wasn't completely convinced about the rest. He headed out of the bedroom without turning on a light, shrugged on his jacket and picked up his keys.

The fresh air hit him like a bucket of cold water. It was freezing. Jack swore and hurried to the truck. He climbed on board, turned on the engine and set the heater onto maximum. The windshield was iced up and he knew it would take a while for it to defrost. He tapped the steering wheel impatiently.

If he was being honest with himself, Jack knew it wasn't just that the mission had gone FUBAR. He had kind of expected it: it was the Tok'ra after all. No, what made it worse was their escape had come down to the help of two bumbling scientists. It wasn't exactly a story that highlighted SG1's overwhelming coolness and he refused to believe that if Felger and Coombs hadn't been along that SG1 wouldn't have made it home. Carter would have thought of something – or Jonas. The Kelownan was working out well and there was no doubt that he was smart as a whip.

His conscience twinged.

Jack couldn't deny that despite their clumsy stumbling into the mission, Felger and Coombs had made a difference. They'd ultimately had a lot to do with SG1's escape from Herak; they'd released the team from the cell, found them weapons and gotten them out of the pyramid. Jack pulled a face. As much as he hated to admit it, SG1 owed their lives to the two scientists.

He'd thanked him.

He had.

After Hammond had reamed them out for following SG1 in the first place instead of following the order to get their butts home, both he and Jack had thanked them for their efforts and acknowledged their role in the rescue.

The windshield was clear. Jack gunned the engine, threw the truck into drive and pulled out of the driveway. Hammond had suggested putting them two scientists forward for an award and Jack had stomped on that. Sure, it had worked out but they really didn't need to encourage the civilians into disobeying orders.

Not that it had ever stopped Daniel.

Damn.

Jack sighed as he made the turning onto the main road. He missed Daniel, missed his friend fiercely. He had stopped wondering whether Daniel had truly been with him during his time with Ba'al; he wanted to believe that Daniel had been there and that was enough for him. Jack just couldn't help hoping that Daniel would turn up again.

Soon.

Any time now would be fine with him.

Jack snorted. No matter how much he might want it he had a feeling Daniel wasn't going to drop in again. He had a feeling the archaeologist had taken a big risk just to be with him in Ba'al's cell and Jack appreciated that; appreciated that Daniel hadn't left him alone.

He wondered if Daniel had paid any of the other members of the team a visit. Had Daniel dropped in on Carter after her experience with the snake in Steveston? Or had he checked in with Teal'c? A part of Jack wanted to ask them but he knew himself well enough to know he would never do it.

The road was slippery and he focused his attention on the drive. It was a familiar road and Jack could feel the last remnants of the nightmare fade away in the quiet of the early morning.

At least, he considered wryly, the nightmare hadn't starred one of Kanan's memories about the symbiote's lover Shallan where he substituted a certain blonde Air Force officer for Shallan and himself for Kanan. Those had been disturbing on a level he really didn't want to think about.

Jack sighed. He had resolved to move on from his feelings for Sam after he'd been forced to kill her to save the base but he had failed spectacularly. It seemed his love for her was solid as a rock and about as immovable. He had tried to hide it from Carter though, to allow her to move on. And he thought she had but ever since he'd returned from Ba'al...

He should never have allowed her to stay with him during the sarcophagus withdrawal or to comfort him about being a host. It had created too much intimacy between them. He was almost certain her old feelings for him had resurfaced.

Which was bad.

Even if deep down it thrilled Jack to know Sam felt the same.

He made the turning into the checkpoint and waited while the guard checked his ID and waved him forward. Jack frowned. Carter had gotten past her feelings for him once; she could do it again. She deserved to be with someone who she could actually be with; someone who could give her a family, make her happy. Jack didn't truly believe he was that guy. He had baggage, lots of baggage; from his past marriage, from his son's death, from his time in Special Ops...from Ba'al. She deserved someone better.

Moreover, he had to protect her. The time with the computer entity had driven it home to him how she could be targeted if one of their enemies figured out his feelings for her. It had been a miracle Carter had survived and he wouldn't put her through it again; he knew he couldn't go through something like that again.

He found a parking spot and turned off the engine. Nope. Distance was needed but not too much. He didn't want to make the same mistake he'd made the year before and create so much distance he'd lose her friendship. He hoped he'd gotten the balance right over the last few weeks while they'd waited for the call to meet with Khonsu; he'd asked her to specifically keep an eye on Jonas, stay with their newest member. It had meant Jack was teamed with Teal'c and his interaction with Carter was minimised.

Jack pushed open his door and heard the roar of a motorcycle. He turned to find Carter racing into the parking lot, swinging into a space with more grace than she should have been able to muster given the power of the bike and the speed she was going. He waited for her, carefully making sure his admiration for how her leathers hugged her trim form was hidden as she stowed the helmet and ran her hand through her tousled hair.

She shot him a smile as she walked over to him. 'Sir.'

'Carter.' Jack spun in the direction of the base and she fell into step beside him. 'Nice wake-up call?' He inquired teasingly.

Sam's lips twitched and she ducked her head. 'Do you know...'

'Alpha site.' Jack anticipated the rest of her question.

She held her questions until they were through the first checkpoint and into the elevator. 'Has something happened?'

'Sumner's being recalled for personal reasons.' Jack briefed her. 'I'm temporarily in command.'

Sam nodded. 'You do know the set-up better than anyone else, sir.'

Jack shrugged. They'd worked hard to set up the current Alpha site. He'd figured building it with its focus on providing a joint location for Earth and Jaffa forces was the only way to keep Teal'c on the team when he'd become the de facto leader of the rebel Jaffa. But he was proud of the achievement. They had a real working training camp at the Alpha site.

'Except Teal'c.' Jack replied to Sam.

She smiled. 'He'll be pleased to spend the time with Bra'tac and Rya'c.'

Jack nodded. The elevator opened and they exited, pausing to sign in again before taking the second.

'You want me to continue keeping an eye on Jonas, sir?' Sam asked crisply.

'That would be good.' Jack agreed mildly, keeping his eyes affixed to the floor indicator to prevent himself from stealing glances at the way she looked in leather. 'Teal'c will be busy with all his Jaffa friends and I'm going to be up to my ass in paperwork.'

'Yes, sir.' Her voice was filled with amusement and for a brief second he allowed himself to look back at her and share a smile. The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Jack waved her out first, taking advantage to literally watch her six – he was only human. He had just smoothed his expression when she turned back to him.

'Meet you in the infirmary for the pre-mission checks, sir?' Sam inquired.

He nodded and she walked away to the female locker room. Jack shook his head. Distance, he reminded himself. He needed distance.

o-O-o

Simon Coombs was going to kill Jay Felger.

He really was.

It was bad enough that Jay had dragged them into following SG1; bad enough that Jay had inveigled him into a risky rescue that had almost gotten him killed (although, OK, they _had_ rescued SG1), but Jay had spent every waking second blabbering about it or daydreaming about it since.

The daydreaming Simon could handle. Jay was a dreamer. It was just him. Nothing that could be done about it; it just was. Most of the time Simon didn't even mind Jay's dreaming so it wasn't that which had driven him to murderous intentions. The blabbering however...

Jay had talked about their adventure to everyone at the SGC since their return from the planet. Nobody had been safe; not Sergeant Siler, or Sergeant Harriman. Simon even feared Harry the Janitor hadn't been missed in Jay's urge to recount their heroics to anyone who foolishly stood still long enough for Jay to begin talking. He was certain that if he did kill Jay he would have a strong defence for certifiable homicide or insanity.

Simon wondered why he was surprised. Jay loved being the centre of attention. Their adventure was a godsend to Jay whereas Simon would be quite happy to have never talked about it – never have mentioned it ever again. He liked the anonymity of the crowd; to fade into the background.

There was also the small matter of Jay's babbling turning them into the joke of the SGC. The story had been more and more embellished with each telling and Jay didn't seem to realise that some of the military guys clearly believed Jay had made the whole thing up. No doubt they figured it was more likely that SG1 had rescued them.

Well, who could blame them, Simon thought as he made his way down the corridor to the locker room. He didn't even recognise the tale Jay had spun the last time he hadn't been able to get away in time. Simon sighed. Maybe it was time for him to go back to Yale; back to the halls of academia where he could pretend that he didn't know the world was at war with aliens and that the reality didn't quite live up to the perfection of the Star Trek's Enterprise.

Simon sighed again as he realised that the locker room was already heaving with people despite the early hour. He and Jay were meant to be returning to P4X233 to finish up the ring transporter study only they'd gone from the flagship team escorting them to the more lowly number 20 all in the space of a few days.

Simon caught sight of Colonel O'Neill across the room as he made his way to his own locker. He opened it, taking his glasses and perching them on top of the metal cabinet before he began to undress. He hated locker rooms. They brought back too many memories of high school where he had been the fat geeky kid surrounded by the trim athletic bodies of jocks not to mention the resulting bullying. He pushed old memories and hurts aside, focusing on getting dressed.

He tuned out the banter of the military men around him; absently wondered where Jay was and why Colonel O'Neill was there; thought through the calculations on the power ratios for the ring transporters; considered whether there was time to grab breakfast. Simon fastened up his boots and reached for his glasses. His hand found only the flat surface of the metal locker.

'Looking for something, Doc?' The young Lieutenant on SG20 grinned at him blurrily. He held up Simon's glasses.

'Bentley.' Major Keegan's chiding voice travelled across the small space between the lockers.

Simon tried to ignore the way his heart was pounding. This wasn't high school and he wasn't the fat geeky kid anymore. 'My glasses, Lieutenant, if you please.'

'Maybe he'll give them back to you if you regale us with the story of how you saved SG1.' Cannock slid in snidely. He grinned conspiratorially at Bentley.

Oh yes, Simon thought tiredly, it was going to be a joy to be marooned on a planet with them for five days.

'Or are you actually prepared to admit you guys made the whole thing up?' Bentley needled.

Simon gave a huff of frustration but a quick glance at Keegan showed him to be uncaring about the situation and even somewhat amused.

'Aw, come on.' Cannock grinned at Bentley. 'Don't you know Coombs is coming along to protect _us_?'

'What's going on here?' O'Neill's voice surprised Simon into looking behind him.

The Colonel was looking at Bentley; his brown eyes guarded.

Great, Simon thought, just what he needed; the Colonel joining in was too much.

'Just having some fun, Colonel.' Bentley replied with a cheeky grin at O'Neill.

'Maybe I didn't make myself clear the first time,' O'Neill began softly, clasping his hands behind his back, 'what I meant to say was: what the hell is going on here, _Lieutenant_.' He yelled the last part and all of SG20 snapped to attention. The locker room fell silent.

'Sir, I was just...' Bentley stumbled over his words as he sought to explain his behaviour.

'Just what, Lieutenant?' O'Neill pushed. 'Showing what a complete ass you can make of yourself?'

'Sir; yes, sir.' Bentley didn't even try to argue. He looked terrified.

Simon couldn't blame him; O'Neill was glowering at the young man furiously.

'The glasses.' O'Neill stated.

Bentley held them out and the Colonel snatched them out of his hands. He handed them to Simon.

'Thank you, Colonel.' Simon took them gratefully and put them back on his face. He blinked as everything came into focus again.

'You're welcome, Simon.' O'Neill said politely.

Simon started; he hadn't realised the Colonel even knew he had a first name. His sight restored he could make out the angry tick in the Colonel's jaw and he wasn't immune to the apologetic glance for help that Bentley shot at him. 'No harm done.' He hastened out.

O'Neill ignored him and turned to the SG20 leader. 'Keegan. You and your,' he paused as his eyes slid derisively over Bentley and Cannock, 'men are escorting Doctors Coombs and Felger?'

'Yes, sir.' The Major answered briskly.

O'Neill took a step towards him; he was almost in his face. 'I'm very fond of Doctor Coombs. He risked his life to save my team. If he comes back with so much as a paper cut, I'm going to be pissed. Do I make myself clear?'

'Yes, sir.' Keegan nodded.

O'Neill let his eyes slide back over SG20 before settling again on Simon. 'Simon.'

'Colonel.'

O'Neill sauntered out as though nothing had happened and the locker room suddenly shifted back into motion, a low hum of conversation breaking out.

Bentley's young shoulders sagged and he looked ruefully at Simon. 'I, uh, I'm sorry, Doc.'

'Me too.' Cannock hurried out.

'As I said,' Simon responded easily, 'no real harm done. Let's forget it.'

Keegan gave him an appreciative smile. 'That's very generous of you, Doctor Coombs and I want to assure you; we have your back.'

Simon nodded, flushing a little with all the attention. He closed his locker and locked it.

'So, you really saved SG1?' Bentley asked eagerly.

Simon shot him a look but the young man simply looked back at him with curiosity.

'Yes, we did.' Simon replied. 'Although I assure you it was more by luck than judgement.'

As though to prove the veracity of his statement, the locker room door was flung open and Jay barrelled in.

'I know, I know, I'm late,' Jay said as he made for his locker, 'but the guard had so many questions and I realised I hadn't really explained about the bit with the force-shield and how we managed to get that down before so...'

'Jay.' Simon interrupted the flow before his friend could get going. 'Enough.'

'But I...'

'Enough.' Simon insisted. 'I don't want to hear another word about that mission.' He patted Jay's arm and ignored his friend's shocked face. His didn't think his refusal to listen would keep Jay quiet for long but perhaps it would be long enough for Simon to lose the urge to zat him. 'However,' he continued, 'Lieutenant Bentley and Sergeant Cannock want to hear everything.'

Bentley gave him a horrified look and Keegan smirked as he nodded an acknowledgement that the punishment was just and apt. Picard couldn't have done any better, Simon mused delightedly. He made for the door.

He closed it behind him and breathed deeply, a smile drifting across his plump face. Simon figured if Jay was going to tell SG20 everything then he definitely had time for breakfast. Maybe the mess would have the raspberry jam pastries he so enjoyed...

o-O-o

Teal'c pushed his empty plate away and reached for the juice he had picked up. Across the table Jonas Quinn sat finishing a breakfast of pancakes and maple syrup with bacon. He was clearly enjoying the taste of the syrup, a condiment that Teal'c had not acquired an appreciation for, believing it to be too sweet for his tastes.

He swallowed some juice and frowned as Doctor Coombs entered the mess. A flicker of relief followed when it became clear that the scientist was on his own and without Doctor Felger. As much as Teal'c appreciated the efforts made by the two men to free SG1, he was certain he could not take another moment of Felger recounting their exploits.

Coombs seemed preoccupied but happy as he gathered his breakfast and headed for an empty table in the corner, giving no sign that he had seen Teal'c and Jonas nor any indication that he wanted to join them.

Teal'c heard Jonas sigh with relief on the other side of the table and agreed with the sentiment. His eyes met the Kelownan's and Jonas smiled ruefully back at him.

'I really appreciate that they got us out,' Jonas said echoing Teal'c's earlier thoughts, 'but I'm not sure I could stand to hear about it again this early in the morning.'

'Indeed.' Teal'c agreed with feeling.

'Although in fairness I don't think Doctor Coombs would talk about it.' Jonas added, sweeping the last remnant of a pancake through a puddle of syrup with gusto. 'It seems to be more Doctor Felger's thing.'

Teal'c inclined his head. He glanced at the clock. They would shortly have to depart for the gear-up room and change for the mission to the Alpha site. He was pleased at the new assignment. He took pride in the achievement of creating the new Alpha site with its combined Jaffa and Tau'ri training programme, and he was looking forward to meeting up with Bra'tac, Rak'nor and his son, Rya'c.

Jonas finally put his cutlery down and reached for the mug of coffee he had picked up and took a large slurp. 'I guess we should be heading out.' He suddenly yawned. 'Sorry.' He apologised, opening his eyes wide as though to convince himself he was awake. 'I guess I'm a little tired.'

'You were woken early.' Teal'c surmised. His human team-mates required sleep whereas he did not. He had already been awake when the Sergeant had arrived at his quarters with the news of the mission.

'Yeah.' Jonas grinned ruefully and ran a hand through his hair. 'Guess I shouldn't have stayed up last night translating the document SG7 brought back.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Jonas's statement reminded him too much of Daniel Jackson. The archaeologist had often worked late into the night trying to decipher a language or to understand one of the many artefacts found on some distant planet.

He missed his friend.

He frowned as he and Jonas both rose in silent agreement from the table to head for the gear-up room. It was strange, Teal'c mused, but he was certain he had felt Daniel Jackson's presence during his kel no reem the previous evening. With his eyes closed and his body and mind in a meditative state he knew his intuition was more sensitive.

Teal'c believed in intuition. Bra'tac had long ago taught him the value of a highly developed sixth sense on a battle field; the instinctive knowledge of when to press forward, when to retreat; when things were about to go badly wrong was invaluable. He had seen O'Neill use such an intuition many times and many times it had saved their lives.

There had been no danger involved in sitting in his room, surrounded by the soft glow of the candle light, but Teal'c had felt as though Daniel Jackson sat across the floor from him. He could picture him in his mind as clearly as though he had seen him with his eyes yet when he had looked there had been nothing there but shadow and motes of dust rising from the floor.

It comforted him to believe that the sensation had been real, that Daniel Jackson had visited him. It reassured Teal'c that his friend continued to thrive and continued to share the bonds that had existed between them before his Ascension.

They entered the room and had just begun to change into their field BDU when the door opened and their remaining team-mates entered.

'...sure, Carter, because there's nothing like Fraiser shining a bright light in your eye first thing in a morning to really wake you up.' Jack completed. Teal'c noticed the way the Major ducked her head as she hid a smile and headed for her things.

Jack nodded an acknowledgement at Teal'c and Jonas. 'You two get checked out already?'

'Doctor Fraiser has cleared us for off-world, O'Neill.' Teal'c confirmed. He shrugged into his jacket and fastened it. He carefully completed dressing, finishing before the others. He used the time to observe them.

The Major teased Jonas over something and satisfaction filled Teal'c. He had feared that Major Carter's continued grief over the loss of their former team-mate would prevent her from fully accepting the Kelownan into the team but his fears had been unsubstantiated. He should have known, he mused, that her compassion and natural friendly warmth would win out. He could even begin to see the beginnings of a friendship between the two that pleased him.

Jonas had settled into the team well, Teal'c considered with pride. He felt good about his own relationship with the young Kelownan. Teal'c believed Daniel Jackson would be proud of the way he had reached out and helped him. It would take Jonas time to gain O'Neill's trust completely but he was assured his young friend would achieve it.

O'Neill winced ever so slightly as he fastened his vest over his chest. The area where his friend had been tortured by the pain stick was unsurprisingly still troubling him, Teal'c mused. He felt a lingering flicker of anger at Herak and at his own inability to prevent the Colonel from suffering the torture.

The anger surprised him. It wasn't as though it was unusual for O'Neill to be tortured first. It happened often, partially down to O'Neill's own insistence on focusing the guards' attention on him and partially because he was known to be the leader. All Jaffa were trained to assume the leader would know details the others would not.

Perhaps his anger in part was his previous frustration at being unable to prevent O'Neill's previous torture by the Goa'uld Ba'al. His friend had truly suffered; had even confided thoughts of leaving the fight following his ordeal. Teal'c hated that the rest of SG1 had been unable to rescue O'Neill in person and had been reliant on a Goa'uld to help them; hated that O'Neill had only been captured because of the Tok'ra's insistence on SG1 leaving him when he had hosted Kanan.

Teal'c forced his muscles to relax. O'Neill himself had agreed to the plan, Teal'c mused. His dark eyes flickered to O'Neill and then to Samantha Carter. O'Neill had specifically requested Teal'c remain with their female team-mate when Teal'c would have offered to remain with him. It was not a lack of confidence in her abilities because Teal'c knew O'Neill took great pride in the Major's achievements and her performance. Indeed, Teal'c believed it had nothing to do with the Major's professional capability at all and everything to do with O'Neill's personal feelings towards her.

It seemed to him that despite their outward efforts, neither had been unable to let go of the deeper feelings between them. O'Neill's run-in with Ba'al and his long recovery afterwards had simply brought them back to the surface. He could see it in the way O'Neill's eyes kept flickering to their female team-mate and away again; the way she looked at him when he wasn't looking; the care each took around the other to hide their feelings and mask their thoughts.

Teal'c honoured their adherence to their code, to the mission, but he knew the price they paid for their sacrifice. He and his first love Sho'nac had spent years apart because of his belief that the Goa'uld were not Gods, and he had sacrificed time with his son when he had left his family to join the Tau'ri. Sadness filled him again at the loss of Drey'auc. He had loved his wife, even when they had been estranged, and he mourned her. She was the second love that he had lost as Sho'nac had been taken before her time; killed by the Goa'uld Tanith and although Teal'c had eventually avenged her death, he still ached with her loss.

He wondered whether the fear of losing each other was at the heart of his human friends' decision to remain as they were. He knew it had led him to reconsider pursuing a relationship. There were many women in the rebel Jaffa camp they had established at the old Alpha site who had made it clear that they would happily accept an invitation from him. Perhaps the simple truth was, Teal'c mused, that he was not ready after losing both the women he had loved to consider loving another.

His attention returned to his team-mates. They were finally ready. He stood and followed O'Neill from the room. They accepted weapons at the door to the gate room and took their places in front of the ramp.

General Hammond joined them a moment later. He gave a brisk nod before settling his gaze on O'Neill. 'Colonel, we've already informed Colonel Sumner of the situation and he should be ready to handover as soon as you arrive.'

'Excellent.' Jack said. 'Is there any news I can give him?'

'We're still waiting to hear from the hospital.' Hammond's guarded pale blue eyes gave away that he didn't think when they did hear, it would be good news.

'Understood, sir.' Jack replied softly.

Hammond gestured up at the control room and the gate began to spin. 'It could be a few days before we settle on a replacement, Colonel. Until then you're in command. Sumner's staff will give you a full briefing.'

Jack nodded again. Teal'c processed that it was likely SG1 would spend an extended period of time at the Alpha site with satisfaction.

'I won't keep you.' Hammond said as the wormhole blossomed out. 'Good luck and Godspeed.'

'Sir.' Jack motioned for the team to head up the ramp and Teal'c grasped his Staff weapon firmly as he fell into step beside Jonas.

The cold touch of the event horizon was his last thought before Teal'c found himself suddenly on the steps of the Alpha site and blinking in the pale morning sunlight. There was a small group of waiting men and Teal'c's spirits lifted at the sight of Bra'tac among them. He walked forward and clasped his mentor's forearm in greeting.

He was aware the two Colonels separated from the group a few steps to discuss business while the rest of them handled introductions; Jonas was new to many of them including Bra'tac. With the introductions over, they all tuned in to the end of the Colonels' conversation.

'...everything else Jefferson can fill you in on.' Sumner finished indicating the Major in question with a sweep of his hand. His body hummed with tension; the need to leave clearly written in his eyes.

Jack nodded at the Captain by the DHD. 'Dial her up.'

Sumner wet his lips as the wormhole settled into a blue puddle. 'Jack, did they...'

'No news.' Jack replied swiftly. 'They're still waiting to hear from the hospital.'

Sumner grimaced.

'IDC is sent, sir.' The Captain confirmed.

'Good luck, Marshall.' Jack held out his hand and Sumner grasped it before he picked up a duffle bag and headed off up the steps, disappearing into the blue.

Teal'c watched as O'Neill began to issue orders as they walked toward the command centre; for a briefing with the command staff, a meeting with all the men stationed later, for quarters to be arranged for SG1...

'For what reason was Colonel Sumner recalled?' Bra'tac asked in a low voice.

'His wife was involved in a serious accident.' Teal'c replied. 'I do not believe they expect her to survive.'

Bra'tac's expression saddened. 'That is a shame.'

Teal'c looked around them. 'Where is Rya'c?' He had expected his son to greet him along with his old mentor.

'Rya'c is not here.' Bra'tac answered calmly. 'He offered to escort some new recruits to the camp yesterday. I am certain if he had known of your arrival he would have stayed.' His eyes twinkled. 'Although perhaps not.'

Teal'c raised a questioning eyebrow.

'I believe the attractions of a young woman may have swayed Rya'c's decision.' Bra'tac commented dryly.

Rya'c? And a young woman? But his son was a child...only he was not. Teal'c frowned. Rya'c was a young man and no doubt he was beginning to explore the wonders of courting and sex. He wondered briefly whether he should have talked with Rya'c about respect and safety before acknowledging silently that Bra'tac had probably given Rya'c the same talk he had once given Teal'c. Still, it was disconcerting to think of his son as a man.

Bra'tac patted his shoulder as though he had read Teal'c's mind. 'The years are passing quickly, hmmm?'

'Too quickly.' Teal'c growled.

'Perhaps you will be here long enough for Rya'c to return.' Bra'tac murmured.

'Perhaps.' Teal'c conceded. He breathed in deeply and allowed his unease to dissipate. He knew SG1 would have extended stay at the Alpha site and he looked forward to it. Perhaps Rya'c would return, and perhaps it would be wise for Teal'c to check with his son that Bra'tac had indeed talked to him about embarking on his journey as a man.

The matter at rest in his own mind, he turned his attention to Bra'tac and the needs of the Alpha site.

o-O-o

The crisp report of the guards by the gate of an unscheduled activation had Sam and Jonas abandoning her lesson on the naquadah generator and running out to the clearing. They jogged up as the wormhole engaged, the white backwash flushing out furiously before the event horizon formed the usual blue puddle. Sam's eyes lifted to meet Jack's as he joined them. They both had their weapons aimed in line with the contingent of guards.

'Colonel O'Neill, this is General Hammond.'

Jack motioned for everyone to stand down and walked around to the MALP. Sam followed him, aware Jonas was right beside her. The Colonel rested his forearm on the vertical pole and stared down the camera lens as his other hand nonchalantly pressed down on his radio. 'Sir.'

'Sorry for the unexpected call, Colonel, but SG2 have found some unexpected artefacts on P36231. We think they could be made from naquadria.' The General paused. 'I'd like to have Jonas Quinn take a look at them. He has the most experience with the element. He can rejoin SG1 when he returns from P36231 in a few days.'

Jack looked over his shoulder at the newest member of SG1. 'Jonas?'

Jonas grimaced clearly disappointed at having to leave the rest of the team but he nodded. 'Sure. Whatever I can do to help.'

'Get your stuff.' Jack ordered.

Jonas turned and ran to retrieve his belongings. Sam watched him go with a faint hint of envy. She didn't really have any function at the Alpha site and while tweaking the performance output of the naquadah generator was useful, it wasn't all that interesting. Her mind conjured up images of the technology she'd left behind in her lab and she repressed a sigh.

'He's on his way, General. We'll dial back in five.' Jack reported briskly. 'Tell Reynolds I want him back in one piece.'

'Understood, Colonel.' Hammond replied dryly, a hint of humour in his tone. 'Hammond out.'

Jack backed off from the MALP and Sam walked with him back to toward the DHD to wait for Jonas. It only took a few moments for Jonas to arrive back, breathing heavily from his run. Jack nodded at the guard to dial Earth as Jonas paused in front of Jack.

'You got everything?' Jack asked brusquely. His brown eyes twinkled though; a hint of a warning of what was to come. 'Woolly hat, gloves? Lunch box?'

'Uh...' Jonas blinked at him uncertainly.

'He's teasing, Jonas.' Sam explained. She patted his arm. 'Take care.'

Jack smiled at Jonas and looked over at the guard.

'IDC is sent, sir.'

Jonas smiled back at Sam. 'Say goodbye to Teal'c for me?'

She nodded and his gaze shifted back to Jack.

'Colonel.'

'Try to stay out of trouble.' Jack said cheerfully.

'Yes, sir.' Jonas said with a smile.

Jack nodded. 'See you in a few days.'

They watched as Jonas disappeared into the blue and the wormhole disengaged. Jack turned back towards the command centre and Sam walked beside him. She noticed his pensive look. He always hated it when the team was split up and she knew he especially hated it when one of his team was under the jurisdiction of another SG team leader. It wasn't that he didn't trust the others, Sam mused; it was just that he didn't trust them with his team. His displeasure at seeing Jonas leave definitely indicated that Jack felt that the Kelnownan was one of the team.

Sam hid a smile. She really didn't know why the Colonel had agreed to assign Jonas to SG1 especially given the cautious wariness that marked his treatment of the Kelownan. But it seemed that Jonas was winning the Colonel's trust slowly and surely through hard work and good performance. A bit like herself, Sam mused, thinking back to the first year and her constant striving to prove herself to her team leader.

'Any luck with that generator yet?' Jack asked breaking the silence between them.

'Just started, sir.' Sam replied evenly. She pointed toward the lab as they paused. 'This is me.'

Jack hovered.

'Sir?' Sam prompted, curious as to why he hadn't moved and surprised at the dull flush colouring his cheeks.

He pulled a face. 'I need to talk to you about the sleeping arrangements with Jonas departing.'

Sleeping arrangements? Why would he...oh. Sam grimaced. They'd discovered that the female quarters were being used for storage earlier. There were no female officers or enlisted personnel assigned to the Alpha site and Sumner had evidently decided to make use of the empty space.

Sam ignored the knot of anger in her belly and reminded herself that it was likely practicality that had driven the decision not chauvinism. The Alpha site had limited space and an unused room was a luxury they couldn't afford.

Jack had immediately designated the private room usually assigned to the base commander to SG1 as a team solving the problem but with Jonas departing and Teal'c likely spending his nights with the Jaffa, the next few days would see them effectively sharing the room alone.

There was a definite hint of impropriety, Sam realised. Off-world on a mission, it didn't really matter although she mostly shared a tent with Jonas or Teal'c when it wasn't all of them camped down together. But on a military base, herself and her CO sharing a room just the two of them was bound to prompt questions and fuel the rumours that she figured already circulated about them.

'I was thinking I'll bunk down in the office and Teal'c can join me if he wants time away from his Jaffa friends.' Jack said, adopting a clearly false casual tone in an effort she suspected to put her at ease. 'I'm probably going to be living there anyway and it'd give you the room to yourself.'

It wasn't much better, Sam considered. There was a connecting door from the office to the private quarters that some people could assume they'd use but it was better than nothing. 'OK, sir.'

Jack's face cleared. 'OK, I'll get the cots moved.'

'Thank you, sir.' She tried to convey her gratitude for his thoughtfulness in protecting her reputation.

'Not a problem, Carter.' He said breezily avoiding her gaze before he simply walked away from her.

Sam sighed and headed for the naquadah generator. She began running tests, checking the current output and making notes. She let her mind focus solely on the task, keeping her attention on the science. When the checks were completed, she immediately saw what she needed to do to improve the generator's performance but a brief look at her watch had her wincing.

It was late.

She should get something to eat. A yawn caught her by surprise; a reminder of her interrupted sleep and early morning. She shook her head, stretched and headed out to the command centre.

The Colonel was exactly where she figured he would be; at the desk buried in reports. He didn't look up as she entered at his call.

'Sir.' Sam hovered in the doorway.

Jack's head snapped up and something gleamed in his eyes; hope, she realised. 'Please say you're here to rescue me, Carter.'

Her lips curved without thought in response. He could be adorably cute at times. She hid her wince at that thought and gestured behind her. 'I was going to head to the mess, sir.'

'Excellent idea.' Jack threw down his pen and got to his feet. 'Have you seen Teal'c?'

'Not since the briefing this morning, sir.' Sam replied as they made their way across the site to the mess building. Teal'c had responsibilities with the Jaffa but she missed his presence and figured the Colonel felt the same way given the look on his face.

The cooks had set up just outside the building and they collected their food before heading inside. Jack nudged her arm and pointed at a table in the far corner where Teal'c sat with Bra'tac. They made their way over and Sam knew the Colonel was pointedly ignoring the drop in noise level at his entry.

'Major Carter.' Teal'c's dark eyes warmed as she sat beside him. 'O'Neill.'

Jack waved his bread bun at the Jaffa. 'So, what've you been up to?'

Teal'c and Bra'tac exchanged a look before their team-mate turned back to them.

'We have been discussing a proposed meeting of all rebel Jaffa leaders.' Teal'c said.

Jack's eyes darted to Sam and they shared a concerned look before Jack's gaze shifted back to Teal'c. 'Is that wise?' he gestured with his knife. 'You know what they say about eggs and baskets.'

'I do not.' Bra'tac replied. 'What is it that they say?'

'That it is unwise to carry all eggs in one such container.' Teal'c answered.

'Ah.' Bra'tac inclined his head. 'Perhaps this is true. But we are not eggs, hmmm?'

Sam didn't bother to hide the smile that tugged at her lips as her amused eyes snapped to the Colonel's.

'And what of you, O'Neill?' Bra'tac asked smoothly. 'I have not seen you at training.'

'Paperwork.' Jack said, spooning up stew with a suspicious look at the dark meat. 'You wouldn't believe how much paperwork a sudden recall generates.'

Bra'tac smiled. 'I seem to remember many hours of administration endured when I was First Prime.'

'Really?' Jack looked askance. 'Goa'uld paperwork?'

'Indeed.' Teal'c muttered darkly. 'I much preferred battle.'

'Me too.' Jack agreed swiftly.

The meal passed quickly and Jack excused himself before the end to head back to the command centre. Sam stayed a while with Teal'c and Bra'tac but eventually couldn't keep up her interest at the various Jaffa plans and left them to it. She looked towards the lab with the naquadah generator but given her limited options of things to do, she figured she should save it for the next day.

An early night would do her good, Sam mused. She let herself into her quarters through the external door, locking it behind her. She found the Colonel had been as good as his word. The cots previously brought in for the rest of SG1 had been removed along with their belongings and only her own remained. She made the bed briskly before she took advantage of the adjacent bathroom to shower and change into reasonably demure sleepwear of t-shirt and pyjama bottoms before she climbed into the bed.

She knocked the light off and snuggled down into the thin pillow. Her eyes sneaked to the strip of light under the connecting door to the office which illuminated her quarters a little. It looked like the Colonel was still at work. She bit her lip at the flood of guilt but reasoned that it wasn't as though she could help him with the paperwork. The reports on his desk required his attention and signature not hers.

She closed her eyes.

It was times like these that she missed Daniel the most, Sam considered sadly. Assignments where both of them were out of their element were rare but did happen occasionally. They would have stayed up debating some topic or playing cards or discussing some find. She wouldn't have been left alone or lonely.

Sam sighed and turned over. She wasn't just feeling this way because Daniel wasn't around, she acknowledged; Jonas was gone too. Maybe if he hadn't been recalled they would have been hunched over the generator together. He was eager to learn more about the technology.

Maybe, Sam thought grumpily, she should have offered to accompany him to P36231. She could do with learning more about naquadria and at least she would be doing something useful. She grimaced. It would also mean that she could get some distance from the Colonel in truth. It was a little disheartening to find herself more in love with him than ever after his experience with Ba'al. She sighed. Maybe she should take Janet's well-meaning advice to kick start her dating life. The doctor had dragged Sam out for a night a month before and Sam had enjoyed herself despite declining the approaches of the guys in the bar. She just wasn't interested. No; she should focus on her career and bury her feelings like she had done before.

It was her final thought as she drifted into sleep.

Sam wasn't sure what woke her but her entire body had snapped into awareness with a suddenness that had her tensing. She kept her breathing shallow and listened intently into the darkness as her eyes adjusted to the strange shadows and faint outline of the sparse furniture.

The light was out under the connecting door, Sam observed. The Colonel must have called it a night. She reached across to the bedside cabinet and picked up her watch. She made a face. She'd managed three hours sleep. She listened again, trying to discover what had woken her but as the silence stretched with the only sounds her own heartbeat and breathing, she settled back into the blankets and closed her eyes.

The muffled groan jerked her wide awake again.

She sat up and carefully pushed the blankets away. She padded across to the door and listened intently. She had almost given up when another low moan sounded.

It was the Colonel – Jack.

Sam's heart pounded uncomfortably in her chest. They all had nightmares occasionally off-world and she figured the Colonel's had probably been triggered by their last mission. Being captured by Herak and tortured had no doubt resurrected some of what he had been through with Ba'al. She felt a wave of renewed guilt.

She placed a hand on the locked door unsure what to do. He wouldn't necessarily thank her for waking him and it wasn't her place to comfort him. Her lips twisted. Sam took a deep breath and stepped away from the door.

Another groan travelled through the flimsy door and Sam's mind was made up in an instant. Hadn't he helped her through some of her nightmares about Jolinar? The least she could do was return the favour. She grabbed her lock-picks from her discarded vest and easily jimmied the door. She could barely see anything as she entered the office; the room was dark. She carefully padded over to the Colonel's cot, her eyes picking out his form in the dim light.

He tossed violently caught in the blankets and groaned again.

'Sir.'

He muttered something under his breath but she couldn't hear it. She stepped up and paused. She didn't think waking him through any kind of physical touch was a good idea. He was Special Ops trained and was likely to just react. A memory of the last time she'd seen that exact scenario play out when he'd arrived back after Ba'al replayed through her head.

'Sir.' She said louder, careful to keep her voice down in case anyone was passing by outside. The last thing either of them needed was for her to be found in his quarters half-dressed.

'Carter.'

It was a mumble but she took it. She stepped up to the cot. 'Sir.'

His eyes opened to stare at her blindly. 'Carter?'

'Here, sir.' Sam whispered. 'You were having a nightmare. I, uh,' she paused unsure what to do. 'Can I get you anything?'

Jack sighed roughly as he covered his face with his hands. 'Go back to bed, Carter.'

Sam winced. She'd been right the first time; definitely _not_ appreciative. 'Sir.' She backed off from his cot.

'Carter.'

His call stopped her in the doorway of the interconnecting door and she turned to look over her shoulder. He had shifted to sit on the edge of his cot, the blankets askew around him covering his thighs but leaving his chest bare. She could see his dog-tags glinting against his flesh.

'Thanks.' Jack rushed out.

'Any time, sir.' Sam replied, relief flooding her; she'd done the right thing. She stepped back into her quarters and closed the door quietly behind her, hearing the click as the lock caught again. She placed a hand on the door and stared at it, imagining that he stood on the other side as he had once stood on the opposite side of a blue flickering force-shield.

She shook her head.

She was being fanciful. Jack had probably gone straight back to sleep. She should do the same. Her chest was tight with emotion she couldn't acknowledge as she climbed back under the covers and tugged them around her chilled body. She stared up at the ceiling and wondered again at the futility of being in love with Jack O'Neill when it was so clear he no longer felt the same way.


	33. Opposites

**Author's Note: **Sam/Jack UST. Teal'c & Bra'tac friendship. Teal'c/Team friendship. Jonas/Team friendship. Could be considered a companion piece to the previous TAG 'Back to SG1.'

**Allegiance Recap:** _The Tok'ra arrive at the Alpha site fleeing an attack from Anubis in the Risa system. Jacob is wounded but tells Jack that no-one will follow. He introduces Malek, a young Tok'ra. Tension between the rebel Jaffa and the Tok'ra escalates during the funeral of three Tok'ra but especially between Artok, a Jaffa and Ocker a Tok'ra. Jacob sympathises with Jack over his experience with Kanan and informs him the Tok'ra view the Jaffa with suspicion because every time one of them has died, a Jaffa has usually been on the other end of the weapon._

_When Sam discovers the naquadah generator rigged to blow the next morning, Jack realises they have a saboteur and begin to question the Tok'ra. They pass the za'tarc testing but before the base personnel and Jaffa can also be tested, Ocker is found dead. Malek accuses Artok who is questioned. His za'tarc result reveals he is lying but they cannot determine if he is truly guilty of the crime. He is locked up while Janet does the autopsy. They have just determined it is unlikely a Jaffa killed Ocker when Artok is also killed._

_Tension between the Jaffa and Tok'ra erupts and there is an uneasy stand-off between the two groups broken only when Bra'tac discovers footsteps leading out of camp. A head count is taken and they realise the perpetrator is not one of them. As they search the woods, one group is killed by the unknown assailant, and Bra'tac is attacked and swept away into the forest in front of a shocked Malek._

_Teal'c attacks Malek. Jacob tries to get Jack to stop him and when Jack makes a half-hearted effort, steps in himself. Sam silently chides Jack who finally gets Teal'c to let go of Malek. They realise the assailant is invisible. They head back to camp to try and make him visible. _

_As Sam, Jacob and Malek work on getting the equipment working to reveal the Ashrak, everyone guards the gate and waits. The Ashrak attacks and grabs Major Pierce's GDO. Jack shoots around the clearing. Finally, Sam gets the field in place and the Ashrak is visible – about to attack Jack. Suddenly, weapons fire hits the Ashrak. It falls to the ground dead, killed by Bra'tac who managed to survive its attack. As Malek apologises to Bra'tac, the elder Jaffa notes that the Ashrak has united them all; the Tok'ra, the Jaffa and the Tau'ri. _

**Opposites**

Bra'tac winced as he sat down on an abandoned crate by the edge of the training ground and began to watch Teal'c put the young Jaffa warriors through their usual exercises. There was a familiarity to their moves, to the way Teal'c stepped in to instruct that soothed Bra'tac at his core. He had eschewed the fussing of the Tau'ri doctor – there were those who had been hurt in the last Ashrak attack that day who needed her attention more than he – although he had acquiesced to the petite woman's forceful suggestion that he rest for the remainder of the day. He was not as young as he once was and his symbiote took longer to heal the remaining injuries he had sustained.

He watched as a young group of Tau'ri warriors approached the training ground and joined the Jaffa in the exercises. He was pleased with the respect they showed; the bows to their opponents, the careful listening to Teal'c. They had truly built a joint training operation at the Alpha site where warriors from both the Tau'ri and the Jaffa worked together. Bra'tac was proud of the achievement. He had considered the offer had been made primarily to ensure Teal'c's allegiance to the Tau'ri but he could not fault the outcome whatever the reason. The Tau'ri and Jaffa were coming to terms with their differences.

He felt the tension from the past couple of days seep out of his bones and he let it drift away. Tense was not a completely accurate description for the state of affairs at the Alpha site since the unexpected arrival of the Tok'ra but it would suffice. Jya'l, a Goa'uld word, encapsulated the constant paranoia and state of fear the Alpha site had lived in better but Bra'tac was uncertain it translated. He would have to ask Teal'c, he mused. It was not the arrival of the Tok'ra that had caused such a fearful time but rather the Ashrak that had followed them to the Alpha site having sabotaged the Tok'ra base first. Yet Bra'tac could not deny the Ashrak had simply capitalised on the existing bad feeling between the Tok'ra and the Jaffa.

Perhaps, Bra'tac considered as his eyes caught on two young Tok'ra warriors who hovered by the training ring only to be coaxed inside by Teal'c, there would be a time when the Tok'ra and the Jaffa would also come to some kind of reconciliation. As though his thoughts had conjured him up, a shadow fell across Bra'tac and he looked up to see Jacob Carter, the host to the Tok'ra Selmak.

'May we join you?' Jacob asked politely.

_We._ Bra'tac inwardly acknowledged the use of the plural. He inclined his head, pulling his cloak tighter to make space on the crate.

Jacob sat down and rubbed his thigh with a sigh.

Bra'tac sent him a questioning look.

Jacob smiled ruefully. 'Selmak healed the wound I got escaping from the Tok'ra base but I didn't really need that trek through the forest earlier.' He shrugged. 'But then, after what you've been through, I can't really complain.'

Bra'tac shrugged. 'I was fortunate the Ashrak believed I was dead.'

'I'm guessing you helped him make that conclusion.' Jacob murmured with a wry smile.

'It is an old trick.' Bra'tac demurred. 'The young are sometimes foolish enough to fall for it.'

Jacob pointed towards the training ring. 'Back when I was young I would have joined them.'

'And now we are older, we are wise enough to simply sit and watch, hmmm?' Bra'tac responded with quiet humour.

Jacob's smile appeared again and he nodded. 'It's good they're working off the adrenaline from earlier. Maybe it'll make for a more peaceful evening.' He sighed. 'Between the attack on the Tok'ra base and the Ashrak, there's been enough excitement around here for a while.'

'Indeed.' Bra'tac murmured.

The two men sat in silence for a long while.

Jacob cleared his throat eventually. 'I hear you're planning a meeting of all the rebel Jaffa?'

'Not all.' Bra'tac countered, bristling inwardly at the implied criticism in the tone of the other man's voice. 'But some.'

'Is that wise?' Jacob abandoned subtlety for bluntness. Bra'tac much preferred it.

'Is this about the eggs?' Bra'tac asked.

'Eggs?' Jacob's eyebrows shot up.

Bra'tac restrained the smile. 'O'Neill spoke of eggs and baskets.'

Comprehension dawned on Jacob's face. 'He did, did he?' He gave a small nod. 'He has a point.'

'We are not eggs.' Bra'tac said firmly. 'And we must meet as a people if the rebellion is to move forward.'

'I guess I understand that.' Jacob sighed. 'You're becoming a sizeable pain in the ass for the Goa'uld.'

'But one with limited effectiveness.' Bra'tac acknowledged. 'This is why we must meet. There must be a cohesive strategy if we are to progress and make a significant impact.' He shifted, tucking his cloak closer. 'And what of the Tok'ra?'

'Anubis has done some damage.' Jacob said. 'More than we like to admit.' He grimaced. 'Our numbers have been severely depleted since we lost Revanna.'

'Then it is more important than ever that we work together.' Bra'tac replied.

'As you said, we're stronger united.' Jacob said. He gestured towards the training ring. 'Maybe in time the Tok'ra and the Jaffa will gain the same understanding of each other as you've achieved here with those of us from Earth.'

'I am hopeful,' Bra'tac allowed, 'but there is history, is there not, between the Tok'ra and the Jaffa where there is none with the Tau'ri.' His eyes slid from the training ring to meet Jacob's.

Jacob nodded slowly. 'Selmak explained as much to me.' His head dipped and when he raised it again, Bra'tac saw the flash in his eyes that indicated the symbiote had taken control.

'The Tau'ri do not comprehend the centuries of Goa'uld rule.' Selmak said. 'They have lived so long with freedom that they know of nothing else.'

'And they do not know of the history between the Tok'ra and the Jaffa.' Bra'tac added.

'They do not.' Selmak agreed. 'They do not understand how many Tok'ra have fallen at the hand of the Jaffa.'

'Nor the way the Tok'ra have always treated the Jaffa as vermin under their feet.' Bra'tac replied with equal force.

Selmak gave a nod. 'That is true. For years we have been as guilty as the Goa'uld in seeing the Jaffa only as a weapon the Goa'uld wield and not as another race enslaved along with countless human worlds.'

Bra'tac tried to hide his surprise but seeing the smile alight on Jacob's face he realised he had not succeeded.

'The Tok'ra are not perfect.' Selmak admitted. 'And we must admit our part in what has gone before.' Jacob's head tilted. 'We could have long ago tried to find a way to free the Jaffa of reliance on the symbiotes. We could have been working together instead of remaining so insular.'

'And we could have made a stand against being slaves, against our False Gods before.' Bra'tac replied evenly. 'We could have sought out the Tok'ra, asked for your help.' He allowed a small sigh to escape his lips. 'We allowed ourselves to be used by the Goa'uld.'

'Teal'c made a stand.' Selmak pointed out gently.

'He trusted O'Neill.' Bra'tac followed Selmak's gaze out to where Teal'c continued to instruct the young warriors. 'I confess I am uncertain that I would have done the same if I had been First Prime.'

'Teal'c took a great risk and without him and the Tau'ri I am uncertain anything would have changed.' Selmak said quietly. 'The Tau'ri have spurred both of us separately into action and have forged alliances with each of us that we can no longer ignore. They force us to deal with each other.'

Bra'tac nodded slowly. 'On this we agree.'

'And perhaps that is the first step forward to an understanding between us.' Selmak said.

Bra'tac inclined his head.

Jacob made a sound and shook his head. The host had resumed control, Bra'tac surmised.

'You must be very proud of Teal'c.' Jacob said softly.

Bra'tac's face brightened. 'He is a great warrior.'

'He almost killed Malek to avenge your death.' Jacob commented dryly.

Bra'tac's eyes filled with his inner amusement. 'It was not Malek's fault I was attacked nor that he was unable to aid me.' He demurred. 'He is very young.'

'He is.' Jacob agreed, changing position a little. 'He redeemed himself a little helping Sam set up the generator.'

Bra'tac noticed Jacob was rubbing at his thigh where he had been wounded and wondered at that; if healing was slow, it indicated that Selmak was old and unable to heal her host as she had once done.

'You must be proud of your daughter.' Bra'tac had come to admire Samantha Carter greatly. He thought wistfully of his own child, killed so many years before. Had she lived, he hoped she would have shown the same fierce spirit as Jacob's.

Jacob's face filled with fatherly pride. 'There are days when I wonder that such a brilliant genius is actually my daughter.'

'She has chosen her mate well.' Bra'tac commented as he caught sight of the woman in question approaching the training ring with Colonel O'Neill beside her.

Jacob stared at him. 'Excuse me?'

'Colonel O'Neill is a strong warrior.' Bra'tac continued blithely. 'They make a good match, no?'

'No!' Jacob managed to splutter. 'They're not...she's not...' He took a deep breath as he assimilated Bra'tac's amusement to his reaction. 'They're not together. There are rules forbidding a relationship between a commanding officer and an officer under his command. Any hint of impropriety could ruin her reputation.'

'Ah.' Bra'tac was chagrined. 'I did not realise.' He looked toward the couple. They seemed well-suited to him. More, he believed they cared for one another deeply. Rules could not prevent a heart from loving whom it wished. He thought it was a pity.

'I guess I can understand why you might have thought,' Jacob gestured vaguely into the air, 'that. They are close.'

And underneath that statement Bra'tac heard the worry of a father with perfect clarity.

'O'Neill is an honourable man.' Bra'tac said firmly. He could not see O'Neill allowing harm to come to the Major's reputation given his evident protection of her in all other regards.

'Yes, he is.' Jacob murmured as Jack began to make his way across to them leaving Sam with their Jaffa team-mate. 'He's done well these last couple of days. He's a good leader. Natural.' He sighed heavily. 'Just don't tell him I said so.'

'Don't tell who what?' Jack asked as he came to a halt beside him.

Bra'tac exchanged a conspiratorial look with Jacob. He turned back to O'Neill. 'You have news?'

'Yes.' Jack waved back toward the Stargate. 'We dialled Earth. The doc's headed back with the worst of the injured. Hammond sends his regards to you both.' He took a breath. 'Colonel Riley will be deployed in the morning to assume command here and SG1 will make tracks as soon as he's debriefed.'

It was a shame, Bra'tac thought. Rya'c would be disappointed to have missed his father.

Jack gestured at them. 'I was hoping you would both sit in on the debriefing.'

'Whatever you need, Jack.' Jacob agreed readily.

Bra'tac inclined his head in agreement.

'Great.' Jack looked at the training ring where the young warriors continued to practice their moves with each other. 'I know we have a detente going here but I figure Riley's going to need your help to keep it.'

'He will have it.' Bra'tac promised.

'I take it Jonas isn't rejoining you?' Jacob asked, referring to the new member of the SG1 team.

'No point.' Jack said shortly. 'We'll be home tomorrow.'

Jacob looked toward Sam and stood up. 'Well, I think if you gentlemen will excuse me I'm going to have dinner with my daughter.'

'And I have paperwork after today's little escapade.' Jack made a face.

Jacob patted his arm in sympathy and the two men walked away with respectful nods of goodbye toward Bra'tac.

Bra'tac breathed in deeply, filling his lungs with air and the scents of the camp; the undertone of sweat, of humanity mixed with the earthy richness of the soil and damp leaves of the nearby forest.

He glanced back at the training ring and almost started as he saw everyone dispersing into the fading light. Teal'c walked across to him and sat down beside him.

The two of them sat in quiet contemplation for a long while.

'I believed you had died.' Teal'c said quietly.

Bra'tac placed a hand on his shoulder, understanding without any further words the emotions Teal'c could not express; the bond between them transcended that of mentor and protégé. He looked upon Teal'c as the son he had never had. 'Not this day, Teal'c; not this day.'

And he was glad of it; glad to be alive; to be sat with Teal'c, and with the fight against the Goa'uld still giving his life purpose. They looked toward the setting sun and silently watched as it set in the distance.

o-O-o

Jack winced as he read the report on the damage caused by the day's activities to the Alpha site's buildings and equipment. It may have seemed like a good idea at the time opening up with the big gun but in hindsight it had been a bad idea – and as his eyes widened at another section of wall that would need repair he had to conclude it had been a _really_ bad idea. He rubbed a hand through his hair. What had he been thinking? It wasn't as though shooting the crap out of the clearing in the faint hope of actually hitting the invisible assassin had ever had a chance of working. The Ashrak had probably just dropped to the ground with everyone else when Jack had started firing.

He sighed deeply and signed off on the report. He threw it on a stack and finally tossed his pen down. He rolled his head, trying to ease the muscles in his neck and back. His eyes burned as he raised them from the brightly lit desk and into the darkness that had descended over the rest of the room. He glanced at his watch and grimaced. It was midnight. Still, he felt a sense of satisfaction as he looked at the neat stack of completed reports and the empty in-tray. Everything was cleared and ready to hand over to Riley the next day. As much as Jack hated paperwork he wasn't prepared to dump it on the next guy.

His stomach rumbled, reminding Jack that he had skipped dinner and only eaten a sandwich that some young eager Airman had retrieved from the mess. He eased his way out of the chair and swallowed the groan that sprang up at the way his knees protested. He did a couple of stretches and his eyes flickered to the inter-connecting door to the private quarters of the base commander.

The quarters had been reassigned to Carter for the duration of SG1's stay given the actual quarters designated for female officers and enlisted personnel were being used for storage in the absence of any females being assigned to the Alpha site. Originally Jack had designated the quarters to all of SG1 but with Jonas quickly recalled to another assignment and Teal'c spending time with the Jaffa, it hadn't been appropriate for him and Carter to share the room just the two of them. He had let her have the room to herself, arranging to sleep in his office. Jack grimaced as he glanced at his own bed set up in the corner.

As it had turned out, with Janet Fraiser and a couple of nurses arriving to oversee a medical clinic for the rebel Jaffa and unexpectedly staying on when the Tok'ra had arrived with wounded, Carter had ended up with company. His eyes moved back to the inter-connecting door and the lack of light shining beneath it. Carter must have hit the sack already, Jack mused. She would be alone in the room since Fraiser had gone back to the SGC.

His stomach growled again. Food, Jack determined. He'd grab another sandwich before taking a shower and heading to bed. He stretched again and picked up his jacket, shrugging into it as he left the office. The main clearing was flood-lit by the artificial lights strategically placed around the area. He detoured to the DHD to check on the gate guard.

He smiled at the sight of Matthew Grogan holding his position with a professionalism that made Jack feel proud of the young officer. Grogan had come a long way from the brash Lieutenant that had gone through training.

'Grogan.' Jack greeted him gruffly anyway; after all, he had a reputation to maintain.

'Sir.' Grogan replied smartly.

'Anything to report, Captain?' Jack asked, even as he made his own perusal of the empty clearing.

'Not a thing, sir.' Grogan confirmed.

'No scuffles between the Tok'ra and Jaffa? No fisticuffs?' Jack checked. It had been an emotional day and despite Bra'tac's great speech, Jack felt there was a long way to go before either camp fully accepted the other.

Grogan's lips twitched. 'No, sir.'

'Let's hope it stays that way.' Jack commented. He nodded at Grogan. 'Stay sharp, Captain.'

'Will do, Colonel.'

Jack walked over to the mess and after a full minute of reassuring the night cook that he didn't want a three course meal in the middle of the night, managed to secure a jumbo sandwich, chips and a soda. He wolfed everything down in the privacy of the kitchen, ignoring the cook who hovered ever hopeful that Jack would change his mind and order an elaborate dinner.

His hunger satisfied, Jack headed for the locker room and showers. He grimaced as he stripped and dumped his uniform in the laundry trolley. If there was one thing he regretted about letting Carter have sole occupancy of the base commander's private quarters, it was the en suite shower room. He shivered as he padded over cold concrete and into the tiled shower area. Seconds later he stood under a warm dribble of water and mentally made a note to tell Riley the shower pressure needed some attention. It was too miserable a shower for Jack to linger. He made quick work of cleaning his hair and body before wrapping a towel around his waist and hurrying back to the locker room to change into a clean BDU.

The cool air of the night brushed over him as he stepped back out and Jack grimaced at the lingering dampness in his hair. He shoved his cap on quickly, tugging it down as he hunched against the brisk breeze. He had a brief thought about checking on the perimeter patrols before he shook it away. His tiredness had settled around him like a blanket. It had been a long day and he needed his bed. He made his way back to the office and changed into sleepwear.

The room plunged into darkness as he snapped the light off. Jack sighed as he turned onto his back and stared up at the ceiling his mind suddenly racing with everything that had happened that day.

Thank God for Bra'tac, Jack mused. The Jaffa had defied the odds and saved them all. Jack scowled, his mind returning to the few hours they had believed Bra'tac was dead. He had understood Teal'c's anger at Malek – hell, he'd shared it. He was fond of Bra'tac. They'd been through a lot together and he respected the elder Jaffa's wisdom. Maybe he'd been slightly unprofessional in allowing Teal'c to half-strangulate Malek but damn it, the Tok'ra had left Bra'tac for dead.

Just like Kanan had left him.

Jack glared blindly into the dark. He didn't want to admit that his own experience may have influenced his behaviour but he couldn't exactly deny it either. He had made a half-hearted attempt to stop Teal'c when Jacob had asked him but it had only been Carter's look with its silent 'sir' that had made him really make an effort – and he wasn't looking at the reasons for that too carefully.

He rubbed a hand over his face. He knew he hadn't handled the situation diplomatically and blaming all the Tok'ra for what had happened to him probably wasn't rational. For crying out loud, if Carter could get past what had happened to her with Jolinar, he figured he probably should have the balls to get past what had happened to him with Kanan. Hell, he had even _chosen _to host the symbiote and he had been the one to agree to being left alone on the Tok'ra base.

He sighed. He'd only done that because he had felt Kanan was sincere in the notion of leaving him when another host was found. And perhaps, Jack mused for the first time since it had all happened, Kanan would have kept his word if everything hadn't gone to hell with the symbiote's attempted rescue of Shallen from Ba'al. But Kanan had been wrong using him and Jack was never going to think otherwise.

In the end it really didn't matter what he felt about the Tok'ra, Jack thought tiredly. Bra'tac had been right: they all needed to work together if they were going to defeat the Goa'uld. Which meant he was going to have to find a way to deal with the Tok'ra as an ally; to be diplomatic.

Jack pulled a face and turned over in the bed, pulling the blanket around him. Until the Malek thing he believed he'd done a fair job of it. He had managed to keep all the Tok'ra and Jaffa from killing each other – with a little help from Jacob and Bra'tac. Hell, diplomacy just wasn't his strong point at the best of times. That's what he had...

He stopped the thought abruptly before finishing it with a sigh; that's what he had _Daniel for._ Only he didn't have Daniel. Not anymore. He guessed he was going to have to step up and get used to taking a more diplomatic role. Jonas was a good kid – good with people – but he couldn't represent Earth given he wasn't actually from Earth.

Actually, he was surprised because he had kind of, in a small way, missed having Jonas around for the past few days while the Kelownan had been on a mission with SG2 discovering naquadria artefacts. It was just that he didn't like having the team separated, Jack considered firmly. That was it. And it was good Jonas had been on Earth; he wasn't exactly battle-seasoned enough for fighting Goa'uld assassins. Besides, they'd be back together as SG1 the next morning as soon as Jack handed over the Alpha site to Riley. He wriggled, trying to get comfortable and closed his eyes.

A thin cry sounded through the room.

Jack's eyes flew open. He was out of his bed and at the connecting door before he could think about his actions. Standing so close to the thin wood he could clearly hear Carter sobbing. He didn't hesitate; he grabbed the key from the peg by the door and opened it.

The room was filled with empty cots; only Carter's was occupied at the far side. Jack navigated his way through the others, grateful for his shins that he had good night vision and could make out the shape of the obstacles. Carter was huddled into her bed, blankets almost fully covering her shaking body. He crouched down by Carter's side and wet his lips.

'Carter!' He whispered loudly.

She gave another sob and he figured she was too deep in sleep to hear him. He reached out and shook her shoulder slightly. She moved so fast, Jack barely had time to duck as she punched out. She caught his shoulder and sent him sprawling.

'Jesus! Carter!' Jack said out loud. 'It's me.'

Sam scrambled out of the bed, swiping at her tears. 'Sir, I'm so sorry. I, uh...'

'My fault.' Jack admitted as he took the hand she offered and was hauled to his feet. He rubbed his shoulder. 'Nice left hook by the way.'

Sam bit down on her lip as though attempting to prevent herself from smiling.

Jack could see the faint glimmer of moisture under her eyes; was unaware how his own eyes became shadowed with concern in response. 'You OK?'

'Nightmare.' Sam explained succinctly.

'Figured.' Jack replied.

They looked at each other for a long moment in shared understanding. Their first night at the Alpha site it had been her who had woken him from a bad dream. They made a right pair, he thought with some amusement.

'I think today just brought back everything with Jolinar.' Sam murmured. 'The Ashrak and then the stuff with the za'tarc machines...'

It took only a heartbeat for the tension to shift from warm camaraderie to something else; something more dangerous. Emotions filled the space between them and Jack was suddenly aware of how close they stood to each other; how undressed he was and how undressed she was, and how the moment was going to go all to hell if he didn't make a quick exit.

He took a step back. 'I'll, uh...' he jerked his thumb toward the door. He spun around before Carter could reply. He was at the door when she called over to him. He paused and turned around. She still stood by her bed, arms tightly folded over her chest.

'Thanks.' Sam said simply.

Jack nodded briskly. 'Any time, Carter.' He stepped back into the office and closed the door, locking it again before turning around. He froze as he caught sight of someone else in the darkness. 'Teal'c.' Jack took in the Jaffa's stern expression and raised eyebrow. He hastily pointed at the door. 'This isn't what it looks like.'

The Jaffa said nothing; he continued to look at Jack evenly.

'She cried out.' Jack said defensively. 'I was just checking she was OK.'

Teal'c finally shifted. 'Is Major Carter injured?'

'Nightmare.' Jack explained, waving a hand as he walked back to his bed. 'The whole thing with the Ashrak.' He gave a sigh as he settled under the blanket again. 'I thought you'd be with Bra'tac.'

'He is deep in kel no reem to complete his healing.' Teal'c placed a mat on the floor and arranged a few candles around it.

'Sorry we're heading back before you got a chance to see Rya'c.' Jack murmured as Teal'c settled himself between the lighted candles with surprising grace to sit cross-legged on the mat. He knew the Jaffa had been looking forward to spending some precious time with his son only to be thwarted as Rya'c remained at the Jaffa camp apparently hooked up with some girl.

'He must learn that frivolous activities must be sacrificed if he is to become a warrior.'

It was Jack's turn to raise an eyebrow. 'Come on, Teal'c. He's a young man; he's just having some fun. Isn't that what we're fighting for?'

'He can plant his crazy seeds once we have won our fight against the Goa'uld and our freedom.' Teal'c said firmly.

'Sow his wild oats.' Jack corrected. 'And didn't you do the same when you were his age?'

Teal'c glowered at him. 'My actions are irrelevant, O'Neill.'

Jack opened his mouth to argue, remembered he was trying to be more diplomatic and shut it again. They'd made progress on understanding each other's cultures but there were times the Jaffa way of doing things just made Jack crazy. If Charlie had been alive, Jack sure as hell hoped he would have been a typical teenager, free from the worry of fighting a war they might never win. He let the grief roll through him with a reluctant acceptance.

'By the way,' he said deliberately changing the subject, 'I've asked Bra'tac and Jacob to sit on the debriefing tomorrow.'

'A wise decision.' Teal'c murmured. 'Unlike your decision to check on Major Carter wearing very little clothing. I am certain Jacob Carter would not have been as restrained in waiting for your explanation.'

Jack snorted. 'Let's not go there, Teal'c.' He didn't really want to think about how his sneaking back into the office with only his boxers on would have looked to Carter's father.

Teal'c smiled. 'Indeed.'

Jack looked at him suspiciously. 'You're not telling him either, Teal'c.'

The Jaffa raised an eyebrow.

Jack sighed. 'Oh you so would not.' He was fairly certain Teal'c wouldn't want to hurt Carter by riling her father into a heart attack.

Teal'c looked back at him with a hint of a smirk lighting his dark features.

'Funny, T.' Jack muttered as he turned over and closed his eyes, the faint hint of lavender from the candles soothing him into sleep. 'Very funny.'

o-O-o

The private room in the psychiatric wing of the Academy hospital was bright, sunny and painted a soothing aquamarine colour. It had a large window which looked out at one of the hospital's private courtyards which was a riot of colour. Jonas was barely aware of either the room or the spectacular view as he focused on the chess board in front of him. He was also barely aware of his opponent; his old mentor Doctor Kieran was regarding Jonas with a lucid concern that Jonas would not have believed possible a month before when the professor had first been admitted for treatment.

Jonas moved his bishop and sat back, continuing to stare at the board as though it held all the answers to the questions worrying at him.

Kieran sat back in his wheelchair and clasped his hands over his stomach. 'What's on your mind, Jonas?'

Jonas looked up startled at the question. He was surprised to see Doctor Kieran looking back at him with nothing clouding his eyes except worry. He gave a small grimace. 'I'm sorry. I guess I've been more distracted than I thought I was.'

'It's OK, Jonas.' Kieran said smiling. 'I know you have a lot going on in your life right now.' He smoothed the lapel of his fuzzy maroon dressing gown. 'Why don't you talk to me about it?'

Jonas shook his head. 'No, really...'

'Jonas.'

The sharp tone brought back memories of sitting in a stuffy lecture room; of tutorials with his professor. Jonas automatically sat up straighter in response.

'Something is clearly bothering you.' Kieran noted. 'Now, I know I'm not completely well but I am better. Let me help you.'

Jonas regarded Kieran thoughtfully. Despite the damage that the naquadria exposure had done to the professor's brain, the treatment was working. Drugs kept the paranoia and hallucinations contained; behavioural therapy had helped improve his memory and cognitive abilities. If he ignored the setting Jonas could almost believe he was sitting in Doctor Kieran's old office, simply confiding in his mentor as he had often done on Kelowna.

'I'm supposed to be here for you.' Jonas said slowly.

Kieran shrugged his shoulders. 'Well, I want to help you.' His eyes twinkled unexpectedly. 'It would certainly help me feel less useless.'

Jonas felt a twinge of guilt. 'I'm not sure where to begin.' His admission signalled his acquiescence.

'The beginning is usually a good place.' Kieran remarked dryly. He regarded Jonas with fondness.

Jonas gave a half-hearted chuckle and sat forward, almost perching at the end of his chair, elbows on knees with his hands clasped to allow him to rest his chin on top of them. 'You know I'm part of a team called SG1.'

'I remember that much.' Kieran replied.

'Well, I haven't been part of that team for very long.' Jonas confessed. 'Since the start of the year here.'

'That would be...' Kieran struggled to do the math. Earth designations of time and calendar confused him.

'About five months.' Jonas supplied. 'Although given the amount of time Colonel O'Neill was out because of his time with the Tok'ra and his recovery afterwards, really in actual time we've probably only spent a month, maybe a month and a half together as an actual team.'

'And that bothers you.' Kieran surmised correctly.

Jonas sighed, gathering his thoughts. 'It's not so much that I mind that we haven't had the chance to be together a lot as a team, I mean, the Colonel couldn't help what happened, but it's...' he wrestled with the word he wanted to describe his feelings, 'frustrating.' He concluded, grimacing.

'I can imagine.' Kieran's head tilted to the side. 'But that's not the only thing frustrating you.'

'No,' Jonas admitted ruefully. He pressed his lips together, his fingers tapping against each other restlessly before he slumped back in his chair. 'Every time I think it's going well, that I'm getting somewhere, settling in...something happens.'

'And what happened this time?' Kieran asked bluntly.

'SG1 were assigned to the Alpha site. The Colonel in charge there had a personal emergency and was recalled to Earth. Colonel O'Neill was sent to take command temporarily so we all went with him.'

'And by all you mean you and your other team-mates?'

'Major Carter and Teal'c.' Jonas confirmed. 'Anyway, we'd only been there for a few hours when I got recalled.'

'Why?' Kieran asked.

Jonas rubbed his thumb over his denim clad knee. 'SG2 found some evidence of naquadria on another planet.' His face brightened. 'Actually, we found some great artefacts. It suggests that the Goa'uld who was experimenting with naquadria on Kelowna actually began his experiments on this whole other planet and...'

'Jonas.' Kieran chided him softly.

Jonas flushed. 'Sorry.' He gave a half-smile. The professor had always known how to get him to focus.

'You joined this other team for a different assignment.' Kieran checked.

'Yes.' Jonas nodded. 'I was supposed to rejoin SG1 once I returned but...'

'But?' prompted Kieran impatiently as Jonas paused.

'There was some trouble at the Alpha site.' Jonas explained. 'Anubis attacked one of the Tok'ra bases and they evacuated to the Alpha site. Only there was a Goa'uld assassin called an Ashrak that sneaked in with them wearing an invisibility cloak.'

'Fascinating.' Kieran murmured. He gestured for Jonas to continue.

'When they realised someone was attempting to sabotage the Alpha site too, Colonel O'Neill banned travel to and from the planet.'

'Sensible.' Kieran said.

Jonas pulled a face. 'He wouldn't allow me to rejoin them.'

'And?' Kieran pressed him again.

'And I was upset about it. There was no danger to the Alpha site from an incoming wormhole from Earth and I could have helped!' Jonas said passionately, waving a hand toward his old mentor.

'Perhaps he was just being cautious...'

'He would have let Doctor Jackson rejoin them.' The words tumbled out before Jonas could stop them and he dropped his gaze at the sudden sympathetic understanding on Kieran's face.

Kieran sighed. 'I'm not sure that's true but let's suppose that it is; why would he have let Doctor Jackson return when he wouldn't let you?'

Jonas squirmed, feeling far too much like a student who had failed to do his homework. 'The two of them served together for a long time.'

'They knew each other well,' Kieran expanded, 'perhaps had an understanding of how each would react in a tense and dangerous situation?'

Jonas nodded but he sighed. 'That's not the point.'

'Isn't it?' Kieran remarked. 'Colonel O'Neill struck me as a particularly skilled military leader. You yourself have remarked at the lack of time you've actually spent as a team together. In his place would you have agreed to you rejoining the team?'

Jonas lurched to his feet and stalked to the window. He pushed his hands into his pockets and stared out at the picturesque garden. His mind whirled with Doctor Kieran's observations but he wasn't sure he wanted to let go of his own disgruntlement over the decision.

'Jonas.'

'No.' Jonas admitted reluctantly. 'If I was Colonel O'Neill I wouldn't have let me near the Alpha site either.'

'You should be pleased, Jonas.' Kieran remarked.

'Pleased?' Jonas turned around in surprise. 'I should be pleased that he didn't let me rejoin them?'

'Yes,' Kieran insisted, 'because it means he sees _you_ and not just a replacement for Doctor Jackson. He's clearly making judgements based on his knowledge of your experience.'

'Great.' Jonas grumbled. 'So I should be happy he sees me as incompetent?'

'As inexperienced.' Kieran corrected sharply. 'And yes; in your place, I would be happy that my team leader was making decisions in my best interest rather than to just make me happy.'

The admonishment stuck squarely home and Jonas felt the heat rise in his cheeks. 'I never thought about it like that.'

Kieran harrumphed in agreement.

Jonas grimaced. In hindsight, Colonel O'Neill's action had probably been about protecting him and others. If Jonas had gone to the Alpha site, if he had been responsible for getting in the way because of his inexperience and that led to himself or others being hurt...

He sighed and returned to his seat. 'I just,' he began awkwardly, 'I just feel like I have to live up to Doctor Jackson. Be like him, you know. And every time, I feel like I'm getting somewhere, something happens to make me realise I'm not him.'

'Perhaps that's your problem.' Kieran noted.

'I don't understand.' Jonas said.

'All this trying to be someone you're not.' Kieran pointed out. 'You're trying to be Doctor Jackson when maybe you should be trying to simply be _you_.' He smiled at Jonas. 'The last time I looked, there was nothing wrong with being Jonas Quinn.'

Jonas gave a sad smile. 'I haven't liked myself much lately.'

'You mean because of the incident with Doctor Jackson.' Kieran shifted almost imperceptibly in his wheelchair, as though trying to get more comfortable.

'Partly. I went along with the cover-up,' Jonas said, 'I allowed Doctor Jackson's name to be smeared when he had done nothing but save our people but more than that,' he sighed, 'it's the bomb. I helped to create it and now our people will have used it to kill thousands.'

'You made a mistake; we all did.' Kieran said solemnly. 'But we have to forgive ourselves, Jonas. We couldn't have known what was going to happen.'

'Maybe you're right, Professor.' Jonas wet his lips. 'I'm just not sure how I do that.'

'Neither am I.' Kieran admitted. He rubbed at his forehead wearily.

'I'm sorry.' Jonas said again. 'You're tired. I should leave you to get some rest.'

Kieran nodded as Jonas got to his feet. 'I hope I've helped you, Jonas.'

'You have.' Jonas said softly. It had felt like old days, Jonas considered with sadness. 'I'll try and drop by next week.'

'You can tell me all about the planet you found with the naquadria.' Kieran suggested. 'It sounds fascinating.'

Jonas grinned tightly, and happily made the promise even though he knew it would probably be a miracle if the professor remembered anything; there were plenty bad days where Kieran reverted to his illness mixed in with the good. He said his goodbyes and made his way to Janet Fraiser's office.

He waited in the reception area outside for the doctor. She had provided the transport to the hospital and had promised she would provide him with a ride back to the base. His head was filled with the conversation with Doctor Kieran.

His mind drifted back to the moment where the Colonel had denied him the opportunity to rejoin the team. He had been so completely disappointed. He hadn't really wanted to leave SG1 at the Alpha site in the first place but he understood that his assignment to SG2 was a kind of compliment – his expertise was needed. Still, he'd been eager to return to his team-mates and to be denied...

Jonas grimaced. His emotions had been all over the place. He'd questioned whether the Colonel wanted him on the team, if he'd done something to offend him when he'd just started feeling like maybe he was beginning to gain the Colonel's respect. He'd never considered that the Colonel's decision had been based on wanting to protect him. He dragged a hand through his short hair and looked up at the ceiling. His old professor had made some good observations, Jonas mused. The Colonel had been treating Jonas as Jonas; as a new, fairly inexperienced member of the team, one who wasn't used to tactical situations and whose skills were more intellectual in nature. As the Colonel should, Jonas thought with some chagrin. It had been Jonas who had been trying to be something he wasn't; trying to make himself into Doctor Jackson's replacement instead of being himself. The hard truth was that he wanted to be Doctor Jackson; he admired the other man; his heroism, his intellect and achievements, his easy friendships with the rest of SG1. And in comparison, Jonas felt he didn't measure up.

He shifted uncomfortable with the insight. It wasn't a competition, Jonas mused darkly even if he had been treating it as such. He was a good person even if he had made some monumental mistakes. But he had tried to make up for them and he could continue to do so. Perhaps it was time he stopped trying to be Daniel Jackson and instead settled for being himself.

A sound by the open doorway had him looking up and he smiled as Janet Fraiser entered, her white coat fluttering behind her as she strode into the outer office.

'Give me a minute, Jonas.' Janet called out as she hurried into her inner sanctum.

Less than twenty minutes later, Jonas sat in the passenger seat of her car as they made their way to base.

'How was your visit with Doctor Kieran?' Janet asked almost as soon as they turned onto the main road.

Jonas tore his gaze away from the scenery and looked over at her. 'Good.' He smiled. 'It was like I was talking to the old Doctor Kieran again.'

'Just don't expect him to always be that way.' Janet cautioned. 'He's sustained a lot of brain damage.'

Jonas bit back the retort that he already knew that. The doctor probably just didn't want him to be hurt when Doctor Kieran didn't recognise him or started asking how the rebellion was going again. He folded his arms over his chest. 'It sounds like it got rough on the Alpha site.'

Janet smiled at his open curiosity and nodded. 'It was certainly tense.' She raised a hand briefly from the steering wheel. 'There's obviously some history between the Tok'ra and Jaffa that we don't really know about.'

'Kind of makes sense there would be.' Jonas commented. He noticed her inquisitive look. 'Oh, I just meant that the two have spent years fighting on opposite sides of the battle. It's a big ask to think that all that natural enmity, of thinking about each other as the enemy would just disappear overnight.'

'You're right.' Janet agreed. 'It was pretty clear they have some serious issues to work through.' She sighed heavily. 'I have to admit between that tension and the whole business with the Ashrak, I'm glad to be home.'

'And I was wishing I was there.' Jonas joked.

'Well, that's only natural.' Janet said. 'You want to be with your team.'

'Yeah,' Jonas agreed quietly, 'although I'm beginning to see why Colonel O'Neill didn't agree to it.'

Janet nodded. 'I don't think he wanted to risk anyone else.'

Her statement unknowingly confirmed his conversation with Doctor Kieran and Jonas allowed the last of his disappointment to drift away.

'You must be looking forward to them returning today.' Janet commented.

'I am.' Jonas said. 'It seems like every time we manage to get some time as a team, something happens.'

Janet flashed him a smile. 'Welcome to the chaos of the SGC.' She said dryly.

The journey seemed to take no time and Jonas slipped into the locker room to change into a BDU. He checked the time and made his way through the corridors to the control room. He arrived in time to see the alarm initiate at the incoming wormhole.

'Receiving IDC.' Walter Harriman intoned as General Hammond joined them. 'It's SG1.'

'Open the iris.' Hammond ordered.

Jonas was already flying down the staircase and he was at the ramp when the General came to stand beside him. Jonas gave him a pleased nod and bounced slightly on the balls of his feet impatiently.

The rest of SG1 stepped through the wormhole and onto the ramp with a confidence that spoke of years of gate travel. The event horizon evaporated behind them as the iris snicked back into place.

The Colonel gave Jonas a brief look of acknowledgement, as though he was confirming Jonas was in one piece and safe, before his attention landed on the General. Jonas received a wide smile from Sam and an inclined head from Teal'c. He silently breathed a sigh of relief.

'General.' Jack greeted his CO with cheerful cockiness. 'I am pleased to report that the Alpha site is now in the hands of Colonel Riley.'

Hammond smiled. 'And the situation there?'

'The Tok'ra and the Jaffa haven't killed each other yet today, sir,' the Colonel ignored the look Teal'c shot at him and the way Sam lowered her gaze to prevent her amusement from showing, 'so I'm going to go with stable.' He sneaked a sideways glance at Teal'c who regarded him with a dark look.

Hammond's lips twitched. 'That's good news. I'm not certain we could afford another incident like the one yesterday.'

'Yes, about that, sir.' Jack began. 'If I could explain about the repair bill...'

'Don't worry about it, Colonel,' Hammond said drawled with a glint in his eye, 'I fully intend to take it out of your salary.'

Jonas unsuccessfully tried to hide his smile at the Colonel's bemused and crestfallen expression and he saw Sam struggling to do the same.

'Carry on, SG1.' Hammond murmured and left the team alone at the bottom of the ramp.

Jack regarded Jonas with a guarded look. 'So SG2 brought you back in one piece.'

'Yes, sir.' Jonas replied cheerfully.

'Good.' Jack nodded once and stepped off the ramp, leading the way out. Sam gave Jonas a pat on the arm as she followed their team leader. Jonas fell into step beside Teal'c.

'Did you find anything of interest on P36231, Jonas Quinn?' Teal'c asked.

'We found some artefacts and it's possible there may be some naquadria.' Jonas reported. 'They're sending a specialist team to take a look. I'm just happy to be back with you guys.'

Teal'c handed his Staff weapon over to the waiting Sergeant. 'You were missed.'

'I was?' Jonas blurted the words out.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow as though surprised Jonas questioned it. 'Indeed.'

Jonas stared at his departing back open-mouthed.

The Colonel poked his head back around the corner. 'Jonas; are you coming or what?' He disappeared again before Jonas could reply.

Jonas grinned and went to join his team.


	34. Contact Issues

**Author's Note: **Jonas/Jack friendship. Jonas/Teal'c friendship. Sam/Jack UST.

**Cure Recap:** _SG1 arrive on Pangar and are greeted by Dollen and Tegar. It is a first contact mission and both sides are diplomatically polite to each other. SG1 are offering their knowledge of Stargate technology; the Pangarans offer them a drug called tretonin which provides them with perfect health._

_Jonas and Teal'c meet with Zenna Valk, the supervisor of the ruins where the Pangarans' Stargate was found. They head into the ruins and she tries to tell them something about the tretonin but is interrupted as a guard passes by. Sam and Jack discuss travelling through the Stargate with the Pangarans and realise they want to travel to Goa'uld worlds. They meet up with Jonas and Teal'c, and tell them they are heading back through the gate to deliver the tretonin to the SGC for analysis._

_When Zenna refuses to talk to them, Jonas searches Zenna's office and finds a map to the city and the tretonin factory. He and Teal'c break in and find vats filled with Goa'uld symbiotes. They run into the guards and Jonas and a Pangaran man fall into a vat. Jonas manages to get out but the guard is taken as a host but unusually it seems to make him unresponsive._

_The Pangarans confront Sam and Jack over the break-in but both parties eventually agree that it would be best to fully share information; the tretonin uses the Goa'uld symbiotes as a major ingredient. They are taken to the factory and shown a Goa'uld queen. She is the source of the symbiotes. When they see the guard, Sam suggests bringing in the Tok'ra to help._

_Jonas apologises to Zenna and she asks for his help in translating the rest of the ruins. The Tok'ra, Malek and Kelmaa arrive and examine both the guard and the queen. They don't seem bothered by the Pangarans treatment of the queen although they note the queen is dying._

_When Sam and Jack speak with the SGC, Janet informs them the drug's side-effects are bad: the tretonin replaces the immune system of the person taking it and if they stop they die. They realise with the Panagrans' queen about to die, it constitutes a real problem for the Pangarans._

_Zenna talks with Jonas and confesses her father found the queen. Jonas assures her he couldn't have seen the consequences. They translate more of the mosaic and Jonas realises that the Goa'uld queen is actually Egeria – the queen of the Tok'ra. SG1 debate whether to tell the Tok'ra who are working on an antidote to help the Pangarans but know they have to tell them._

_The Tok'ra claim that they can't make progress on an antidote due to a strange anomaly in the drug and demand Egeria be freed. As SG1, Malek and the Pangarans discuss the situation, Kelmaa gives her life for Egeria. When Egeria wakes she tells them she is proud of the Tok'ra. She deliberately altered the symbiotes genetic structure to create the dependency and anomaly in an attempt for the Pangarans to stop making her breed but she will give them the information needed for an antidote as a last act. _

_The Tok'ra take her body home, leaving SG1 and the Pangarans hopefully agreeing that they hope they will build a strong relationship. _

**Contact Issues**

'Who decided we were any good at this first contact stuff anyway?' Jack O'Neill complained as he fastened his vest and yanked on it to shift it into position.

His three team-mates exchanged a look behind his back which was part amusement and part concern that they were heading out with a grumpy team leader.

Samantha Carter signalled for Jonas Quinn to reply but he shook his head adamantly and she couldn't blame him. Jonas's relationship with the Colonel was embryonic and he wasn't going to do anything to annoy him. Sam changed the direction of her gaze to Teal'c. Teal'c wasn't immune to the pleading look she levelled at him and caved.

'I believe it was General Hammond, O'Neill.' Teal'c responded.

Jack looked over his shoulder sharply at the Jaffa who stared back impassively. 'Right.' He plucked his cap out of his locker and tugged it down onto his head. 'Because we did so great at first contact with the Pangarans.'

'Did we not find a way to help them, O'Neill?' Teal'c replied, apparently missing Sam's urgent shake of her head to ignore him.

Jack slammed his locker door shut and turned to the Jaffa. 'Sure. I _loved_ getting the Tok'ra involved, I don't know you guys. And, oh, let's not mention your whole breaking and entering act, shall we?'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

Jack looked at his watch. 'You've got five minutes.' He walked out of the gear-up room and there was a collective sigh of relief as he left.

'So how mad do you think he's going to be on this trip?' Jonas asked tentatively.

Sam and Teal'c exchanged a look.

'He's not mad.' Sam offered. 'He's just...' she paused, trying to find a word that properly conveyed the Colonel's temperament.

'I believe the word you are searching for is irritable, Major Carter.' Teal'c said.

Sam smiled fleetingly. 'I was going to say fractious.' As a two-year old, she mused. She shut her locker and picked up her rucksack.

Teal'c moved to help her adjust its position until she carried it comfortably. She gave him a nod of thanks and he moved to helped Jonas. They were expecting an overnight stay on P9Y622.

They all left the room together and headed towards the gate room. Sam could hear the spinning Stargate as they neared, the familiarity of it comforting her and easing her own nervousness over the mission.

Teal'c took his Staff weapon from the Sergeant at the door and Sam accepted the P90. She clipped it efficiently to her vest as she stood beside Jack.

The kawoosh blossomed out.

The Colonel glanced over at his team before he looked back toward the control room where General Hammond stood watching. Sam followed his gaze, glancing behind her.

Hammond leaned down to speak until the microphone. 'You have a go, SG1.'

Jack nodded. 'Move out.' He ordered.

Sam automatically fell into step beside him as they walked up the ramp as a team and into the blue puddle. The disorientation on the other side lasted a moment and Sam used it to get their bearings.

The Stargate was located in a large hall. The opulent curtains and gilded decorations indicated it was a place of worship or importance. She felt a twinge of grief; her Ascended team-mate Daniel Jackson would have known and she missed his presence anew as she acknowledged inwardly that she couldn't ask him. The artificial lights and the warm heat that surrounded them spoke of technology but whether it was similar to their own or different, Sam couldn't tell. She couldn't wait to find out.

An assembly of five men stood in front of the DHD; the same dark hair, pale faces and dressed in long dark red robes covered them from head to toe.

'Creepy,' muttered Jack under his breath.

Sam nodded briefly. She had to admit she wasn't appreciating the way they were looking at her.

Jack took a step forward, pinning a smile on his face. 'Howdy. I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill,' he pointed at Sam, 'Major Samantha Carter,' he nodded to his left, 'Jonas Quinn and Teal'c.'

'Hi.' Jonas smiled brightly at the gathered men.

One of the men moved from the line and bowed. 'We of Tohathu, welcome you. I am Katu.' His dark gaze drifted to Sam. 'We were not expecting your mate, Colonel.'

Jack shot Jonas a warning look not to speak as he turned back to Katu. 'Is there a problem?' He kept his tone polite but the words were clipped.

'Our females do not usually travel with men even when in the company of their mate.' Another man answered. His eyes looked disapprovingly at Sam.

'Really.' Jack replied tersely.

'Just one of many differences between us I'm sure,' Katu smiled reassuringly. 'I look forward to discovering others. Please; follow me.'

'We have no proof they are mates, Katu.' The protester gestured at Sam. 'If she is not then her presence here in the great Hall is forbidden and punishable according to our laws.'

'Carter,' Jack said briskly as he reached inside his jacket, 'show them your dog tags.'

Sam moved her hand slowly to her neck and dragged out her chain. The dog tags glinted in the light. It was a ruse they had used before on planets with strong patriarchal governments.

Jack held up his pointedly. 'These say she's mine on our world.'

Sam darted a look at him but didn't argue. In actuality the dog tags said the exact opposite; they were a sign of their military ranks and working relationship – the very things that had prevented them from pursuing their feelings when they had been mutual. Sam slipped the dog tags back into her clothing. She still loved Jack but he had moved on and she had accepted that. Almost. Some of the time.

Katu smiled. 'Excellent. Then shall we?'

Jack didn't move. His jaw tensed and he cleared his throat. 'Perhaps if your laws concerning females are very different, it might be better for my...mate to return home.' He stared at the guy who had requested proof. 'I wouldn't want her being somewhere she's not supposed to because we were unaware of your laws.'

Katu shot a disgruntled look at his colleague. 'I apologise for any misunderstanding. Patru is our Justice Minister but I am certain that we can agree that your mate is an exception to our usual laws for the duration of your stay.'

'Katu...' Patru caught Katu's stern look and nodded unhappily. 'Very well.'

'I hope that is an acceptable compromise?' Katu looked at them with a mix of hope and fear; hope they would agree, Sam surmised, and fear that they had already upset their visitors from another world.

The Colonel glanced at her and Sam waited patiently. She could tell from the way his lower jaw worked that he was mentally considering the risks. He turned back to Katu. 'OK but I'm going to have to insist we're kept together at all times.'

'Of course.' Katu said soothingly.

Sam suppressed her wince and followed the Colonel. As much as part of her was delighted in a masochistic kind of way at the idea of spending so much time with him, she wasn't looking forward to being stuck with him as a bodyguard for the next two days. Her role on the mission was to assess the scientific capability of the Tohathu and establish whether they had anything Earth would wish to trade for. The Colonel had a tendency to get impatient during her scientific assessments at the best of times.

Then there was the small matter of the last mission; Sam believed he was annoyed with her given it had been her suggestion to bring in the Tok'ra. They had clashed throughout the mission regarding the Tok'ra's motivations and how to handle their ally and the Pangarans. She figured the Colonel was still struggling to find a way to deal with the Tok'ra since his own very negative experience of being a Tok'ra host. He had been used by his symbiote and left to be endlessly tortured by Ba'al. It was no wonder the Tok'ra made him irritable.

Sam ignored the guilt that stirred at the thought. She truly doubted that the Colonel had accepted the symbiote just because she had asked him; just because she couldn't have borne to have lost him. It didn't matter, Sam thought tiredly as she tracked their progress through the corridors, mentally mapping the way back to the Stargate in case they needed to leave in a hurry. It didn't matter because ultimately she was always going to feel responsible for even posing the question and nothing would change her mind on that.

She looked up as they entered a chamber with a long table. SG1 took their places on one side of the room, the five men sat down on the other. She turned her attention back to the mission at hand. First contact was always tricky as their time with the Pangarans had shown.

Her attention caught on a woman entering with a platter of food and another with a tray of drinks. They were as dark haired as the men but dressed in blue robes and Sam saw their quickly hidden surprise as they caught sight of her. She saw Patru's look of displeasure and lowered her gaze. She couldn't help feeling that perhaps she should have returned home after all.

o-O-o

Jack took one look at the room they had been assigned for the night and froze.

'I hope this is suitable.' Katu said worriedly.

Suitable wasn't quite the word that sprang to Jack's mind. The room was large with a bathing area set to the right and the bedroom area to the left. The bed itself was quite small by Earth standards, barely the size of a regular double, but it was covered in bright red satin. There were pictures on the walls of what appeared to be naked people. Jack felt like he'd fallen into a bordello instead of the tasteful room he'd envisaged when Katu had offered to escort them to their married quarters.

'It's fine.' Sam reassured Katu when Jack remained silent.

Jack shot her a look and she avoided his gaze.

Katu made appropriate noises and left. Jack flipped the lock on the door and turned back to see Carter dumping her bag by the bed. There was no discussion about sharing: they both knew they needed the rest and they were adults; they could share a bed without it being a big deal. They had before off-world even though Jack was extremely circumspect about sleeping arrangements when they were with other SG teams or on an off-world base. He would never want to do anything to compromise her reputation. Both of them would report the pretend marriage in their reports as they were only following proscribed protocol for safety on planets with strict laws about women; Gibson on SG17 had been married to Doctor Lerrick three times in the last six missions.

He looked at the bathing area with concern, noting the wooden bench with its round lid which was probably the toilet and the wooden tub sunk into the floor which was evidently the bath. There was no screen; no privacy. The Tohathu obviously took married life to mean complete and total openness which was all well and good except for the fact that he and Carter were not actually married.

Jack ignored the dull ache of disappointment the thought elicited. Whatever his feelings for Carter and whatever she felt for him, they had no place on a mission. He had a responsibility to protect her. He was beginning to think he should have sent her home when he'd had the chance.

'We can build a screen.' Sam offered in the tense silence. She gestured toward the bathing area with a ball of string. 'We can put it up overnight and take it down tomorrow without them knowing about it.'

'Good idea.' Jack acknowledged.

She rooted in her bag and brought out a small cloth tool-bag. She handed him a nail before she made her way over to the far wall and began examining it.

'We'd better make sure we don't do any permanent damage to the decor.' Jack said as he turned around and examined the wall behind him, trying to spot a good place to lodge a nail.

'Yes, sir.' Sam shoved a small nail into a groove in the wall and tied one end of the string to it. She threw the ball across the room to him and he did the same. She was one step ahead of him, withdrawing a ground sheet from her rucksack and shaking it out. It was thin but its green colour would help obscure everything. Jack helped her position it strategically in place so the bathing area and the toilet were hidden from view.

'You want first dibs, Carter?' Jack motioned at their makeshift bathroom generously.

'Thank you, sir.' Sam smiled at him softly and he turned away to hide his pleased reaction. He couldn't let her see how he felt about her. He figured she believed he had moved on and he intended to keep it that way. They were friends beyond their working relationship and he was content to settle for that; he wasn't certain he deserved anything more and, in his view, she definitely deserved better.

'Sir?' Sam looked over the partition at him with concern.

'Hmmm?' Jack waved at her. 'Sorry, Carter. Just thinking.'

She nodded but looked at him suspiciously before she dropped behind the screen. He busied himself unpacking some of his bag as she ran water into the tub. It masked most of the sounds of her making use of the facilities and he reminded himself to do the same when it was his turn. The water was turned off abruptly and he turned his head automatically to check, catching a glimpse of a shadowy, shapely form beyond the sheeting as Carter lowered herself into the water.

He quickly turned away and dropped his head, closing his eyes. Seriously. There were times it felt like the universe was mocking him. He just had to pretend to be married to her; they just happened to be put up in the equivalent of a honeymoon suite, and she was barely three foot away from him naked. And wet.

He needed a distraction, Jack thought desperately; a really big distraction.

Alien invasion would be good.

Just a small one.

'Sir, what's your assessment of the Tohathu?'

Carter's question jolted him out of the fog. 'You mean apart from them being a bunch of misogynists with poor taste in bed sheets?'

She chuckled. 'Apart from that.'

'I'm not sure they have anything to offer us.' Jack kept his eyes on his pack as he took out his toiletries bag and spare clothing. He set his watch on the right bedside table. 'What do you think?'

'I think you could be right.' Sam said. 'Their technology doesn't seem to be any further advanced than our own.'

'So, no big honking space gun?' Jack checked, teasing her. He sat down gingerly on the red sheets.

'I don't think so, sir.' There was a sound of water rippling. 'Not unless they're hiding it from us.'

'Which is a possibility.' Jack thought out loud.

'Sir?' She sounded startled.

'Just...' Jack frowned. He hadn't really actively considered that the Tohathu were hiding something but saying it out loud, he suddenly realised he believed they were. 'They are hiding something.' And he knew it was true like he knew his own name.

'What?'

Jack grimaced. 'I don't know.' He said with exaggerated patience. 'They're hiding it, Carter.'

She laughed again and he let his own smile creep across his face. She couldn't see him after all.

'I guess the question is whether we think they're hiding something dangerous.' Sam said.

'That is the question.' He heard the water splash as Carter shifted out of the bath. He hurriedly ensured he was turned well away from the screen. 'It could be nothing.' Or something. He wasn't sure why he even thought they were hiding something. Maybe because they'd been escorted everywhere, Jack thought tiredly; maybe because they'd only been allowed to speak to the five same men; maybe because there were areas clearly off limits to them.

The question was: were they in danger? And he couldn't answer that. He didn't think there was imminent danger. They were being treated like important guests for the most part. He'd sleep on it; make another assessment in the morning.

'All yours, sir.' Sam said.

If only she was, Jack thought as his gaze took in the sight of her walking over to the other side of the bed dressed quite modestly in a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms. Of course, she'd meant the bathroom rather than her but he could dream couldn't he?

She'd left her hair unwashed and Jack guessed it was because the bedding didn't look as though it would fare well with anything wet. He would do the same, he decided.

Jack grabbed his toiletries and clothing before he disappeared behind the sheet. He ran the water into the tub and made use of the toilet before he sank into the warm bath, suppressing the sigh that threatened to escape as his muscles relaxed with glee.

'Sir, I've been thinking...'

'I'm shocked.' Jack replied, reaching for his soap. He pictured her quick smile in his head, the one he always elicited when she found him funny.

'I think they may be hiding something to do with their society and history.' Sam said. 'Every time Jonas asked them a question they were vague.'

She was right, Jack thought washing his body absently as he considered the day's talks. Any question about their government or history as a people had been quickly glossed over. He hadn't helped either; every time Jonas had tried a follow-up question Jack had stopped him, redirecting them back to the trade discussion on medicine and technology...

Damn.

Daniel would never have let him get away with it.

Jack missed his friend like he figured he would miss his right arm if he lost it. He shook his head to shake the grief away.

'Sir?' Sam asked worriedly.

'You could be right.' Jack answered. 'I think we should probably have Jonas question them a bit more tomorrow.'

He rinsed off and got out of the tub. She'd left the remaining clean towel beside the bath and he picked it up. He dried off, pulled on a clean pair of boxers and a clean t-shirt. He ran a hand over his lower jaw and grimaced. He'd shave in the morning.

Jack padded around to the bed area, only just remembering to duck under the string before it garrotted him. He tried to ignore the red satin lump that was Carter as he stowed his things and sat down on the opposite side.

'Should we set up a watch?' Sam asked.

Jack considered the risks. 'I think we have them fooled we don't suspect anything on account of us not actually suspecting anything before so...' he shook his head and swung his legs up, stretching out to lie flat on his back.

'Lights out then?' Carter asked.

'Yeah.' Jack rubbed his face, refusing to look at her. 'Let's get some sleep.'

She pressed a button on the bedside table and the room fell into darkness.

Jack felt the bed dip as Carter settled into position and a quick glance confirmed his suspicion that she had curled up on her side with her back to him. He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes.

The dream sneaked up on him out of nowhere. Ba'al...pain...the sarcophagus...the fear he was trapped...

Jack lurched upwards as he pulled himself out of the nightmare. His heart was beating unevenly in his chest; his breathing ragged.

'Sir?' Carter's sleepy voice had him grimacing with embarrassment and he felt the bed move as she sat up. 'Are you OK?'

'Go back to sleep, Carter.' He ordered tersely.

She hesitated for a moment before she shifted and resumed her previous position. He reached for his water bottle and took a large gulp of the lukewarm liquid. He settled back on the bed and turned his head. He could see the outline of Sam's back in the dim light; the t-shirt had slipped, revealing some of her creamy shoulder. She was tensed up, Jack realised. Not surprising after the way he had barked at her – and he had been the one to wake her up. It seemed to be becoming something of a habit. They'd both woken each other up at a recent stay at the Alpha site – and they'd had a locked door between them then.

'Sorry.' Jack muttered into the darkness. He felt Carter move slightly but she remained silent even though he could almost hear her mind whirring over his bad dream. 'What?'

'Sorry,' Sam apologised quietly, 'it's none of my business, sir.'

'Just,' Jack stopped himself before he snapped at her; he sighed. 'Just ask whatever question is bugging you, Carter.'

'Is it...' she hesitated again before rushing on, 'does having to deal with the Tok'ra trigger your nightmares?'

'No.' Jack denied automatically. He frowned as he thought over her question again. 'Yours?'

'Not now.' Sam said.

Which meant they had once. He felt his anger stir again, warring with his instinctive want to make Carter feel better. 'The Tok'ra don't help.' He conceded.

'I'm sorry.' Sam murmured gently. 'If I'd known on Pangar...'

'You should have still recommended bringing them on board like you did.' Jack interrupted her contrite apology. He didn't want to deal with them but he knew he had to and he needed Carter to understand that. He grimaced. He knew he had given her a hard time over it when things looked as though they'd gone South with the revelation the Goa'uld queen was Egeria.

'I guess we're always going to disagree about their motivations.' Sam turned over onto her back and looked at him through the shadows. 'I can understand why you don't trust them, sir.'

'I don't understand why _you_ trust them.' Jack winced; he hadn't meant to say that out loud but it was the truth. He didn't understand. Not after what she experienced with Jolinar. Hell, he'd been unconscious when Kanan had procured his body; Sam had been conscious as an unwilling host.

Sam moved again so she could look at him fully. 'I guess part of it is because of my Dad. I was the one who initiated him becoming one of them and...' her voice trailed away but Jack filled in the rest. She had to trust the Tok'ra or believe she'd handed her Dad over to an untrustworthy ally at best, an enemy at worst.

'Dad and Selmak seem to get along great.' He reassured her.

'That helps.' Sam admitted.

'What's the other part?' Jack asked.

She looked at him quizzically.

'You said Dad was part of it. What's the other part?' He was genuinely interested.

Sam bit her lip and for a long moment he thought she wasn't going to answer him. 'I remember some of what I picked up when I was wearing the memory device on Netu. I can remember what it felt like when Jolinar was blended with Rosha.'

'Ah.' Jack pulled a face.

'It didn't seem so bad.' Sam continued hastily. 'Not something I'd want but Rosha did.'

And it had helped her, Jack realised. Her second-hand memory from the symbiote's previous host had helped her understand the Tok'ra in a way he couldn't.

'Maybe it's not a bad thing that we disagree.' Jack offered. She trusted them; he didn't; and the truth was probably somewhere in the middle. Sounded like a perfect definition of teamwork to him. 'Works for me.'

She smiled; he could see the faint curve of her lips. Awareness crept across Jack stealthily. One moment he was smiling back at her, warmed by her friendship and the camaraderie, and the next...

He suddenly knew exactly how many inches there were between them...exactly how little they were wearing underneath the red satin...exactly how far he would need to lean to brush his lips across hers...

Where was a locked door when you needed one, Jack mused; he suddenly found it difficult to breathe.

The knock on the door startled them both. They lurched apart guiltily as though they had been caught doing something vastly more interesting than simply smiling at each other. Jack went for his weapon. Carter stayed back to cover him, her own 9mm in her hand as the knock came again. She hit the lights and Jack blinked as his eyes adjusted.

'Who is it?' He asked approaching the door but staying to the side of it, the gun in his hand.

'It is Katu.'

'One moment.' Jack said, he was already tugging on the makeshift screen. He turned and saw Carter doing the same. They pushed it under the bed hastily and Jack placed his weapon down, checked to make sure Carter still had hers even though she hid it beneath the pillow before he answered the door.

Katu stood with two armed men outside. 'Apologies for disturbing your rest but we have a situation.'

Jack frowned. 'What kind of a situation?'

'Your men have been arrested.' Katu said. 'They broke into our Archive.'

Jack blinked. Teal'c and Jonas? Arrested for breaking and entering? _Again?_ He fought the urge to react. 'We'll get dressed.' He said shortly. He closed the door and motioned for Carter to begin dressing as he headed to his own clothes. 'I'm going to kill them,' he declared succinctly.

Carter looked at him.

'After we bail them out,' he amended, 'then I'm going to kill them both.'

o-O-o

Selmak winced as the volume of debate reached an unacceptable level and looked toward Per'sus. The leader of the Tok'ra High Council let the younger members vent and rant without pause. She felt a wave of disapproval and wondered whether it was Jacob or herself.

_He should stop this_, Jacob said to her inwardly.

Selmak silently agreed. Per'sus had allowed the discussion to deteriorate into a rabble. The discovery and loss of Egeria, the founder of the Tok'ra was a shock to all of them but the argument on what to do with her body was undignified. She sent another beseeching look to Per'sus but he simply looked away. He seemed defeated. The unrelenting attacks from Anubis on the Tok'ra had taken their toll.

She looked around the makeshift headquarters they had set up in a remote part of the Gallas system. The tunnels were barely formed; the environment sterile. The Tok'ra were in danger of falling into disarray.

'And I say we must preserve our Queen!' Delek insisted forthrightly. The young Tok'ra was gaining more and more influence as each day passed.

'And I say we should perform the ritual of the dead and allow her to rest.' Bar'ay argued; his older and wiser head apparently not preventing him from raising his voice.

'If we are to have any chance...' Delek asserted as more arguments broke out.

Selmak felt her anger bubble up. She sprang to her feet and slapped the table hard. 'Enough!'

The furious bark of the oldest amongst them silenced the majority and the rest of the mutterings trailed away as Selmak flashed out at them from behind Jacob's brown eyes.

'I suggest we take a vote.' Selmak said tersely. 'Those in favour of preserving Egeria's body so we can one day potentially clone a Queen, raise your hand.'

Hands went up around the table.

'And those against?' Selmak prompted. Other hands went up as some remained undecided.

'The motion to preserve Egeria is carried.' Selmak announced. 'I suggest we find a remote planet specifically to house a stasis chamber. The body can be retrieved at a later date for cloning and will not be in danger of potentially being destroyed in one of Anubis's attacks.'

'That is a sensible suggestion, Selmak.' Garshaw, her old friend, jumped in. 'Per'sus?'

Per'sus nodded. 'Fine.' He sounded so disinterested that Selmak wondered that he had bothered to show for the Council meeting at all. 'I believe our business is done.'

'There is still the matter of the Pangarans.' Delek pointed out, not bothering to hide his exasperation.

'What about the Pangarans?' Malek spoke up for the first time. He lifted a hand from the table. 'There is nothing to discuss.'

'How about the foolish agreement you made with them?' Delek shot back. 'We barely have enough resources to help ourselves never mind the resources to help the people who murdered our Queen.'

'They had no idea who she was!' Malek retorted. 'And it was Egeria's wish to help them!'

Selmak stared pointedly at Per'sus who again remained silent.

'It is a waste of resources we do not have.' Delek said forcefully.

'The Tau'ri can help.' Selmak said firmly. 'They have the necessary laboratories and equipment at their Alpha site. Malek and I can work from there.'

'You would say that.' Delek looked across the table at Selmak with an arrogance that set Selmak's teeth on edge. 'Your host uses any excuse to spend time with his own kind.'

Selmak's eyes flashed again angrily. 'It is my suggestion, Delek.'

'Then one wonders why we can no longer see the difference between host and symbiote.' Delek sneered.

_Can't we smack the snot out of him_, Jacob asked furious.

_Perhaps later_, Selmak allowed. She settled for glaring at Delek with a stony expression that made the young Tok'ra squirm and avert his gaze. Selmak turned deliberately to Per'sus. 'There is another reason why we should help the Pangarans.' She looked around the Council table. 'The tretonin that they developed replaces the immune system of those who take it.'

'I don't see the relevance...' Delek began pompously.

'The Jaffa.' Malek spoke up excitedly. 'It could help the Jaffa.'

'Exactly.' Selmak smiled at him.

Per'sus stirred. 'What do you mean?'

'If we develop a form of this drug for the Jaffa, they would no longer be reliant on the Goa'uld symbiotes for their immune system.' Selmak explained.

'They would no longer be slaves of the Goa'uld.' Malek added. 'They could choose their own destiny.'

'The idea has merit.' Per'sus said as the mutterings began again.

'Is it not dangerous?' Bar'ay argued. 'The Jaffa under the rule of the Goa'uld are dangerous but unleashed? Is that not like uncaging a Serpian Tigera?'

'The Free Jaffa are led by Teal'c of Chulak and allied to the Tau'ri.' Garshaw said quickly. 'I assume Selmak means we would distribute the tretonin through them if we were to be successful.'

'I do.' Selmak said. 'I also think we should consider that at the moment the strength of many Goa'uld is fundamentally based on the Jaffa. If we remove that strength then we weaken them.'

'I believe we should not spend time and energy on such matters.' Delek said.

'You don't think we should spend time and energy on enabling the Goa'uld to be weakened?' Selmak retorted sharply. 'Or delivering something of value to an ally?'

'The Free Jaffa are hardly that.' Bar'ay said. He gestured at Selmak. 'At best they are an ally by association. I cannot envisage that they would even accept such a gift from us.'

'But this would be an incredible gesture of acknowledgement from us in recognising them.' Malek responded. 'It could even help build a bridge between our two peoples. We are fighting for the same aim.'

Selmak nodded approvingly. Malek's experience at the Alpha site had taught the young Tok'ra a lot about the Free Jaffa and about working with them; Selmak knew Malek was in awe of Bra'tac.

'We should have done something years ago to help the Jaffa.' Malek continued. 'When you consider the Pangarans have created this tretonin in such a relatively short amount of time, if we had set our minds on such a task to assist the Jaffa previously, perhaps we would have weakened the Goa'uld sooner.'

'But...'

Per'sus held up his hand. 'Malek makes a good point.' The High Councillor sighed. 'The Pangarans have suffered for their treatment of Egeria; they will be helped because we will fulfil the last wishes of our Queen. That is not a topic for discussion.' He looked around the table and even Delek lowered his head in reluctant agreement. 'Selmak's suggestion of helping the Jaffa will be put to the vote.' He gestured. 'Those in favour?'

Selmak looked around the table as she raised her own hand. It was going to be tight depending on how many abstained.

'Against?' Per'sus asked.

Hands went up; some stayed down.

Selmak breathed out slowly. They had won the vote: just.

'Then it is decided.' Per'sus said. 'Selmak and Malek will attempt to create a Jaffa version of this tretonin.' He stood. 'This Council meeting is over.' He swept out before anything more could be said.

Malek got to his feet. 'Shall I gather supplies for our return to the Alpha site, Selmak?'

'That would be appreciated, Malek.' Selmak agreed. She wanted a quick word with Garshaw about Per'sus. She took a few steps around the table towards her old friend and stopped as Delek stepped in front of her.

'Delek.' Selmak said formally. She placed her hands behind her back to remove the temptation of hitting him.

Jacob chuckled inside her head.

'Selmak.' Delek bowed his head. 'I wished to explain that I meant no disrespect.'

'Then I would hate to hear your words when you did.' Selmak responded frostily.

Delek smiled tightly. 'You have to admit you spend a great deal of time with the Tau'ri.'

'I am the liaison between the Tok'ra and the Tau'ri.' Selmak rejoined smoothly. 'Spending time is part of the job description.'

'Of course.' Delek said. 'I will not keep you.'

Selmak inclined her head and moved past him.

_His words bothered you_, Jacob noted.

Selmak didn't reply but Jacob was right. As much as she hated to admit Delek's words nagged at her.

_Don't let that upstart get to you_, Jacob advised.

_I won't_, Selmak promised, _but..._

_But_, Jacob questioned.

_But I can't help wondering if his words are not symptomatic of something else_, Selmak sighed. She shook herself inwardly. Perhaps she was worrying about nothing. She focused on Garshaw and put Delek's words aside. There were more things to worry about that than Delek and, at least, she had secured the agreement to work on freeing the Jaffa. That was the important thing.

o-O-o

'He's going to kill me.' Jonas declared into the stifling silence of the stuffy office in which they'd been detained.

Teal'c concluded his review of their holding cell, determining there was no way out; no window, a concrete floor and a large, thick wooden door locked securely and no doubt with an armed guard beyond it. He looked over at his Kelownan friend. Jonas sat in the wooden chair next to him, his hands restrained behind his back. There was a faintly panicked look in Jonas's eyes; not at being caught, but at the thought of having to face O'Neill.

'He will not be pleased.' Teal'c conceded.

'You'll be fine.' Jonas said as though Teal'c hadn't spoken. 'He likes you.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

'And when he learns that this was all my idea.' Jonas gave a short colourless laugh. 'I'm telling you, Teal'c; I'm dead.'

'It was not your idea.' Teal'c felt compelled to point that out. It had been his idea to make a covert visit to the Archive. He and Jonas had settled into their sparse quarters with little complaint but he had been able to tell that something had been bothering the other man.

Jonas had confided his suspicions that the Tohathu were hiding something and his frustration at O'Neill continually preventing him from asking the questions he wanted, to get to the bottom of what he believed was a deception.

They had spent a short time discussing the matter before Jonas had commented it was a pity that they couldn't make an unaccompanied visit to the Archive they had seen on their tour. He was certain the truth would be found there.

It had been Teal'c who had suggested they attempt a scouting mission using the pretext of getting some air if they were questioned. They had been unobserved on their way to the Archive and once there...it had been easy to acquiesce to Jonas's suggestion that they make the most of their opportunity.

They had entered without attracting attention and made their way through the main room to the locked chamber Jonas had noticed during their tour. He had found what the Tohathu were hiding but before they could make their exit, they had been discovered.

Teal'c was chagrined.

The guards had chased them through the Archive but they had known the maze of corridors better and, in the end, he and Jonas had been easily cornered. Too easily. His pride smarted. They had been marched into the office and restrained.

Katu had been called for. He had declared he was going to find Colonel O'Neill for an explanation of their behaviour despite their protest that their team leader had been unaware of their actions. An hour had passed since Katu's departure.

Teal'c knew one thing: Jonas Quinn was right; O'Neill was not going to be pleased. And he was going to be most displeased with their newest team member. In Teal'c's view, the Kelownan had already done much to prove he had earned his place on SG1 but Teal'c knew Jonas worried that O'Neill would change his mind. Given the number of potential team-mates that had come and gone in the period between Daniel Jackson's death and Jonas's assignment, Teal'c could understand his concern, although he believed O'Neill had accepted the young man.

'How much longer do you think we'll have to wait?' Jonas asked, moving restlessly beside him.

Teal'c tilted his head; footsteps were approaching down the corridor outside. 'Not long.' He murmured.

The door flew open.

Katu entered and ushered their team leader with Major Carter beside him inside the room. Both looked rumpled as though disturbed from sleep. There was a dark shadow of rubble on O'Neill's lower jaw.

Jack's eyes ran over his captured team.

'Colonel...' Jonas began awkwardly.

Jack held up a finger effectively silencing him. He motioned at Katu. 'Think we could get them out of the restraints, Katu.'

Katu looked unhappy but he nodded. A guard sprang forward with a knife and Teal'c felt the bonds around his wrists loosen. He shifted them forward, rubbing them slightly to renew the circulation. Beside him Jonas followed his example.

'Could we have a moment?' Jack asked brusquely.

Katu frowned but he left with the guard and SG1 was alone.

Jack looked from Teal'c to Jonas and back again. 'So. Anyone want to tell me what the hell you were doing?'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. 'We were attempting to ascertain the nature of the secret the Tohathu are hiding.'

Jack exchanged a look with Sam.

Teal'c's eyebrow rose further; they did not look surprised.

'You figured it out too.' Jonas realised.

'Yes, Jonas.' Jack waved between himself and Sam. 'We figured it out too. Only our plan didn't involve sneaking into strange Archives in the middle of the night and potentially offending our hosts. Our plan was going to be for you to question them tomorrow – today – whenever.'

Jonas flushed.

'It was my idea to visit the Archive, O'Neill.' Teal'c said firmly.

Jack stared at him; Teal'c stared back.

'Well, you're old enough to know better.' Jack admonished exasperated.

Sam looked away and Teal'c considered that she was trying hard not to laugh.

'Haven't I told you before that if you insist on sneaking around strange buildings not to get caught?' Jack continued. He sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair. 'Tell me it was worth it.'

Teal'c shared a look of satisfaction with Jonas. 'Indeed.'

'It's fascinating...' Jonas stopped as Jack raised his finger again.

'Is it a big honking space gun?' Jack asked hopefully.

'Uh, no,' Jonas shifted in his seat.

'Then it can wait until morning.' Jack determined.

'O'Neill.' Teal'c said forcefully. 'I do not believe this information can wait until daylight.'

Jack looked at him quizzically. 'And why not?'

Jonas was the one who answered. 'Because we think the Tohathu could be an offshoot of the Goa'uld like the Tok'ra.'

o-O-o

The Colonel transformed in front of Jonas from a fairly normal, if tired and grumpy, man into a warrior in a blink of an eye. 'What?'

'The scrolls I managed to read say this planet was once ruled over by Hathor.' Jonas quickly explained. 'There was a rebellion called the Tok'Hathor. Obviously, their name has become distorted with the passage of time but its roots are very definitely Tok'Hathor.'

'Get to the point.' Jack ordered. 'Are we dealing with Goa'uld or not?'

'It's not clear if they are actually Goa'uld,' Jonas admitted with a shrug, 'or a human rebellion but it's definitely what they're hiding.'

Their team leader looked over at Sam questioningly. 'I haven't sensed any Goa'uld, sir.'

Jack pulled a face. 'Me either.'

'Nor have I,' admitted Teal'c, 'but the Goa'uld larva Hathor created during her attempt to take over Stargate Command did not contain naquadah.'

'OK,' Jack muttered, 'that so wasn't an image I wanted in my head.'

'Sir, if Jonas and Teal'c are right, then the Tohathu could be a potential ally in the same way as the Tok'ra.' Sam said.

'You mean a massive pain in the butt?' Jack remarked. He glanced apologetically at the Major and something passed between them that Jonas couldn't make out; an apology, an understanding...

'If they are Goa'uld it may help explain why they've kept it secret.' Sam finished.

'Have you ever heard of the Tok'Hathor, Teal'c?' Jack asked.

The Jaffa inclined his head. 'I have not.'

'They could simply be the remnants of a human rebellion.' Jonas pointed out.

'Then why the secrecy?' Sam asked.

Jonas grinned and gestured at her. 'Women.'

'Excuse me?' Jack asked.

'Their society is heavily based on strict rules regarding their women, Colonel.' Jonas said. 'Probably it was a reaction in the immediate aftermath of the rebellion to guard against any other female gaining power here. But, think about it,' he dragged himself back on topic as he registered the flare of impatience in his team leader's eyes, 'Hathor's rule has probably been lost in the mists of time to most of the general population. That they were once ruled by a woman has become their darkest secret for a government of men.'

'And public knowledge of that could undermine their society.' Sam mused. 'There is probably some form of feminist movement here, sir.'

'Well, we're not here to start one if there isn't.' Jack said caustically.

Sam's blue eyes flashed indignantly but she didn't say anything.

'There's something else, Colonel.' Jonas said, folding his arms together. 'The scrolls indicated that the Tohathu created an antidote to nishta.'

'That drug Hathor and Seth used?' Jack checked.

Jonas nodded. 'It prevents it from being effective.'

'That would be worth trading for, sir.' Sam said. 'Electric shocks are only viable after infection.'

The Colonel rubbed his hand through his hair and gestured at Jonas and Teal'c. 'OK. Patru has some trial thing organised for tomorrow morning because you're not' he mimed quotation marks, 'exempt from their laws.'

A frisson of alarm ran through Jonas.

'Katu says it's just for show so...we should be fine.' Jack looked disgruntled. 'Look, let's go and get some sleep. Keep your boots on; take watches and don't leave your quarters.' He glared at them. 'Understood?'

'Yes, sir.' Jonas said quietly as Teal'c bowed his head.

Jack marched them out of the room and they were separated in the corridor as Jonas and Teal'c were led away by armed guards. They were escorted back to their assigned quarters.

The room was small with a sink in one corner and a shower room through a separate doorway to the back. The beds were in a bunk formation – one placed on top of the other. Teal'c had taken the bottom bunk on entering the room and Jonas had been happy enough with the top.

'I will take first watch, Jonas Quinn.' Teal'c said as he sat on the edge of his bed.

Jonas rubbed the back of his neck. 'I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep anyway.'

'You should try.'

In other words, Teal'c had it covered and Jonas should shut up, Jonas translated. He hoisted himself into the top bunk and stretched out. He placed his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.

'Teal'c?' Jonas cleared his throat. 'Are you worried about this trial tomorrow?'

'I am not.'

'Really?' Jonas's face creased in puzzlement. 'We don't even know the punishment for breaking into the Archive.'

'I am confident O'Neill will not allow us to be subjected to any form of punishment.' Teal'c replied, his low voice drifting upwards.

Jonas felt his own nerves about the trial ease up and he stroked his belly absently through the cotton t-shirt as though to soothe it even further. He thought back to his earlier frustration at the Colonel not listening to him; not taking note of the questions he was asking. He'd thought his team leader had simply dismissed the Tohathu's history as unimportant.

He sighed.

'Something troubles you, Jonas Quinn?' Teal'c asked.

'I just don't think Colonel O'Neill trusts me yet, Teal'c.' Jonas confessed into the darkness. 'He shut me down all day.'

'You should discuss the matter with O'Neill.'

Yep; he was really looking forward to that conversation, Jonas thought wryly. He closed his eyes and willed himself to get some sleep.

Somewhere between closing his eyes and dawn, Jonas managed to doze in fits and starts. He was tired when they were eventually escorted back to the same negotiating room that they had used the day before.

Jonas sat down tentatively beside Sam, acknowledging her smile of encouragement with a grateful nod. He held his tongue while the five men sat down opposite. He raised his hand as Katu went to speak.

'I'm sorry; I thought there was going to be a trial?' Jonas asked bluntly.

Jack glared at him.

Katu cleared his throat. 'In the circumstances, we believe it would be best to put the matter behind us...'

Patru harrumphed loudly.

'...and perhaps conclude that this relationship was not meant to be.'

'That would be a shame.' Jack gestured with his pen. 'Because it would seem from what we learned of your history that we have a great deal in common.'

The five men shared anxious glances.

'You read our scrolls?' Patru leaned forward outraged.

'How is that even possible?' Katu asked. 'The dialect is...'

'A very old form of Goa'uld.' Jonas asserted. 'I have a working vocabulary.' He subsided at Jack's hard look.

'You rebelled against the Goa'uld Hathor.' Jack stated. 'So did we.'

'You...' Katu leaned forward across the table. 'You know of Hathor?'

Jonas nodded. 'She was once allied to the Goa'uld who ruled Earth a long time ago, Ra. However, he exiled her and when she was found a few years ago, she attempted to take over Earth.' He nodded at Sam. 'Major Carter was instrumental in stopping her.'

The men across the table stared at Sam and a flush stole across her cheeks.

'She was also instrumental in killing her when we ran into her again.' Jack said proudly.

'You actually killed her, sir.' Sam pointed out.

'After you rescued me from her.' Jack rejoined.

'This is incredible.' Patru said. 'Are you telling us Hathor is dead?'

'Yes.' Jack said. 'That's what we're telling you.'

'But our histories say she was a God!' Katu said in disbelief.

'A False God.' Teal'c corrected. A smug look entered his gaze. 'A dead False God.'

'If this is true,' Patru began.

'And it is.' Jack inserted.

'Then you understand why we cannot allow the truth of our origins to become public knowledge.'

Jack darted a warning look toward Sam and gestured at Jonas to answer.

'We're not here to tell you how to run your government or society.' Jonas said passionately. 'That clearly is a matter for yourselves although I can't say I agree with your views on restricting how much your women can contribute. As you've heard, Major Carter played a key part in helping defend Earth from Hathor.'

'You know you folks could have told us.' Jack added.

Katu lifted a hand from the table. 'It is a taboo subject in our society. It is not something we discuss among ourselves let alone with strangers.'

'I guess I can understand that.' Jack said. 'So, there was a rebellion here among the _humans_?'

'Yes.' Katu said.

Jonas saw a flicker of relief cross Jack's face; the Tohathu were not Goa'uld.

'Our ancestors long ago rose up and banished Hathor by becoming immune to her.' Katu added.

'Actually we'd like to consider trading for that.' Jack said. 'Hathor isn't the only Goa'uld who uses nishta to seduce humans.'

'And so because we have something you wish you are content for us to forget your criminal behaviour.' Patru snapped.

'We suspected you were keeping something from us.' Jack spoke before Jonas could get the words out. 'My team acted without my authority but they believed they needed to find out what that something was. I don't condone their behaviour but as I said: you folks could have just told us.'

'If we're both willing to look beyond what happened last night,' Jonas jumped in, 'I'm sure we can move forward.'

'Because if we don't trade with you, you'll inform our populace of the origins of our society?' Patru accused them boldly.

'No.' Jack stressed the word emphatically. 'As Jonas says we can't agree with the restrictions you place on women in your society but whether you trade with us or not, we won't reveal your secret.'

Jonas held his breath. He knew the Tohathu were interested in Earth's medical technology if they believed the Colonel.

Katu looked across at his companions and slowly nodded. He turned back to SG1. 'Very well. Then let us trade.'

A few hours later, Jonas found himself stepping onto the ramp of the SGC with the successful news of a draft trade treaty with the Tohathu. The debrief was mercifully quick; Jonas listened as the Colonel outlined the treaty which covered an initial exchange but recommended that if no natural changes took place in regards to the equality of women in the Tohathu society that the treaty not be renewed.

It was an acceptable compromise, thought Jonas. It allowed them to secure what they needed but it also allowed them to discontinue trading with a planet whose values were so at odds with their own. He headed back to his office to begin writing his report and froze in the doorway when he saw the Colonel already there, examining an artefact – a Mayan fertility statue – with a bored expression.

'Colonel.' Jonas looked at him puzzled. 'Was there something you wanted?'

'Teal'c said you wanted to talk with me.' Jack said.

Jonas felt his stomach drop away as though he was in free fall. He hadn't intended to speak with the Colonel about the events on the planet at all despite his words to Teal'c the night before.

'So?' Jack prompted, motioning with the statue.

'I wanted to talk to you about what happened with the Tohathu.' Jonas said slowly.

Jack's eyes remained guarded but he gestured again for Jonas to continue.

'I don't understand why you didn't allow me to question the Tohathu yesterday.'

'Jonas,' Jack sighed heavily and placed the artefact down, 'if you feel that I'm shutting down an area we need to explore, I need you to speak up.' He hesitated. 'I mean, in a break.' He rocked back on his heels. 'Or after.' He gestured. 'You know; just not in the actual negotiations.'

Jonas prickled defensively. 'With respect, Colonel, I haven't felt you've been particularly open to my opinions.'

Something flashed in Jack's eyes. Acceptance: annoyance. Jonas wasn't sure which.

'Consider me open.' Jack said eventually.

Jonas nodded.

Jack stuffed his hands into the pockets of his BDUs. 'You did a good job with the Tohathu.'

'Thank you.' Jonas said surprised at the praise.

Jack pointed at him. 'Only next time...'

Jonas grinned. 'Don't get caught.'

'I was going to say 'don't let Teal'c lead you astray',' Jack remarked with amusement, 'but that works.' He looked at Jonas. 'We good?'

Jonas nodded. 'Yes, Colonel.' He watched as his team leader sauntered away before he breathed out.

It was a small step forward but it was a step forward.


	35. The Right Thing

**Author's Note: **Daniel/Jack friendship. Jonas & Sam friendship. Sam/Jack UST. Team friendship.

**Prometheus/Unnatural Selection Recap:** _Sam is approached by a reporter, Julia Donovan about the Prometheus project. Sam denies everything but reports the confrontation to General Hammond. Major Davis goes to see Donovan and tries to warn her off but he fails. Julia's story is pulled though thanks to the President intervening with her network. She meets Davis, Sam and her editor Al who works out a compromise: they do an exclusive on Prometheus which will become the property of the Air Force and released when Prometheus goes public. The Air Force agrees to it despite SG1's reservations._

_Sam and Jonas meet with Julia, Al and a TV crew at Area 51. They take them to Prometheus which is revealed as Earth's new spacecraft. While the crew look to set up on the bridge, the others check out the rest of the ship. The crew suddenly take out their guards. In the engine room, Sam notices the simulations on the computer have been interrupted, she tries to contact the bridge and when she fails, she goes to check. She runs into the crewmen and realises something is wrong; she knocks them out and runs, ending up trapped in a storage room._

_Jonas ties up the computer when he realises someone is trying to take control. He also removes a key control crystal just before they all get taken hostage. Al betrays them showing the men the control crystal. The hijackers activate the hyperdrive to create an overload._

_Outside Jack and Teal'c arrive; Jack reams out Davis. The hijackers demand the release of Colonel Simmons and Adrian Conrad. Sam manages to get a radio working and also makes contact. She is tasked with trying to stop them achieving flight. As she gets to work on breaking out of the storage closet, Simmons and Conrad are brought to Area 51 and sent in._

_Conrad goes to the engine room to complete the hyperdrive as Simmons orders them to lift off and demands the roof is opened. Davis tells Jack and Teal'c that the deck Sam is on isn't pressurised if the ship takes off, Sam will die. Sam has escaped from the room and is in the corridor she hears the engines and understands what is happening – she quickly gets to a stairwell._

_Jack and Teal'c watch as the Prometheus ascends into the sky. They quickly realise they can take the gliders and go after it. Sam manages to damage the ship and causes the orbit to decay. Simmons sends men after her and she is trapped by them when suddenly Jack and Teal'c turn up. Conrad gets the hyperdrive working and attacks Simmons. Jack, Sam and Teal'c find Conrad dead on the bridge and one of the TV crew unconscious. They realise the Goa'uld must have gone into Simmons. Jack and Teal'c go after him and after a fight, Simmons is sucked out of an airlock. As SG1 gather with Julia on the bridge, Prometheus arrives in the middle of nowhere. Sam notes she has no idea where they are and cannot plot a course home. _

_Later on, luckily Thor arrives. He tells them he needs their help. The Asgard trapped the Replicators on their homeworld by using a recall command in the android Reese. They intended trapping them in a time dilation field but something has gone wrong. Thor tows them home; beams up supplies, beams down the prisoners and Julia. He takes off leaving Jack to explain the situation and ask permission for the mission from Hammond by hologram._

_Thor leaves them to make the journey solely in the Prometheus when they reach a certain point. They discover the time dilation device was activated but has been sped up – hundreds of years may have passed in the bubble. They land on the plant and disembark. The planet surface is completely covered by replicator blocks. They enter the remaining structure and meet some humans; Sam says the device has been rebuilt. The humans reveal themselves as Replicators and attack them, putting their hands into the heads of SG1. _

_Jack ends up on a mental plane with the Replicator, First. He tortures Jack with his memory of Charlie's death. SG1 wake back on the Prometheus. Sam suggests overloading the hyperdrive; Jonas tries to convince Jack to talk with them. Sam meets Fifth in the engine room; he is there to invite them for dinner. _

_They go to dinner and there is a brief discussion about how different Fifth, who was more modelled on Reese, is to the others. It is revealed the only reason why they were invited was for more mind-melding. Sam offers to meld with Fifth when he tries to protest against Fifth._

_Sam convinces Fifth to help them and promises to take him with them. When SG1 wake up, Fifth has already made the adjustments to the time dilation device. Jack sends Teal'c and Jonas to the ship. Sam asks how long she should set the timer – they need four minutes minimum to get to the ship and escape – Fifth says the others will notice his departure before that and Sam suggests a head start for the humans. Jack tells Sam to set the timer for five minutes but signals three. She protests but sets it. Jack and Sam leave and get the Prometheus airborne._

_Fifth stays behind but is prevented from leaving by First who tells him Fifth is foolish. As Fifth realises he has been betrayed, the device activates. On the ship, Jonas notes that they used Fifth's humanity against him. Sam agrees but Jack is adamant they did the right thing; they couldn't take the risk of the Replicators getting free. _

**The Right Thing**

General Hammond placed the red phone back into its cradle before he released the pent-up sigh of frustration he had been holding at bay. He rubbed a hand over his bald pate and massaged the thick back of his neck where a ball of tension had knotted his muscles into a hell of a headache.

What a mess.

The hijacking of the X303 had created the expected political firestorm among those who knew of the existence of the Stargate. The President had been forced to defend the decision to allow the news crew access; had been forced to defend the actions of the SGC's personnel in allowing the spacecraft to be stolen – as though Major Carter or Jonas Quinn had stood a chance of foiling what had clearly been a highly organised and orchestrated incursion. The reports of what they had done to slow down the hijackers and keep Julia Donovan safe were remarkable in Hammond's opinion and he'd said so. He'd also stressed that the rest of SG1's rescue attempt had been key to them successfully taking back the ship. Remarkable didn't even begin to cover it.

Fortunately, the clear evidence of the rogue NIDs involvement had helped to ease tempers over leaked information and the hijacking. Kinsey, in particular, had gone quiet. Hammond wasn't going to lose sleep over the reported deaths of Adrian Conrad and Colonel Simmons. One had conspired to abduct and experiment on Samantha Carter and the other had tried taking down SG1 and the SGC by any means he could, regardless of legality or ethics. Hammond had been privately informed by the President that Agent Barrett had been tasked to investigate the hijacking from inside the NID. His gaze slid to his desk drawer where he kept a disc which held incriminating evidence against Kinsey. He could hand it over...but he hoped he wouldn't need to; hoped he would be able to keep the SGC out of the political maelstrom that would happen when the rogue elements were finally brought to task.

And he had enough trouble, Hammond reminded himself, with advising the President about the international furore that had arisen with the hijacking. At least, the Russians were satisfied that they had known of the X303, and although Colonel Chekov had smugly made a couple of comments regarding the security capabilities of the US, he had otherwise been supportive. Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said of the Chinese who were demanding answers to witness accounts of a UFO in the Nevada sky; of satellite imagery of it in orbit.

And it wasn't just the Chinese; the British and the French were also demanding answers. Hammond didn't think cover stories were going to cut it with their allies – especially since they had sceptically and grudgingly only just accepted the last one of yet another meteor impact. Kinsey had suggested it was time to disclose the existence of the Programme to their allies and the President was considering it. Hammond had his doubts. He wasn't sure the rest of the world was ready to know the truth; there were days he doubted _he_ was ready.

Then there were the more pressing problems of restocking the SGCs store-rooms and armouries to replace the supplies that Thor had taken. Hammond wasn't convinced by the Pentagon's assurances of fast-tracked requisition forms. It had been almost twenty-four hours and he'd had to ration weapons and munitions for gate room personnel. Three off-world missions had been delayed as a result. Food was also a pressing concern; rations had been ordered there too along with a plea to the catering staff to do the best they could with what they had. At least, the Air Force Academy and nearby hospital had been ordered to send over some supplies. Hopefully, they would have enough to last until the replacements turned up.

A loud knock on the briefing room door disturbed his thinking. He glanced across to the internal window and caught sight of the reporter being shown to the table. 'Come.'

Major Paul Davis entered. 'We're ready for you, sir.'

Hammond sighed and reached for the folder Davis offered to him. He glanced at its contents, confirming the release of information and the deal they would offer Julia Donovan matched that the President had outlined on the call. He glanced up at Davis, noting the other man's fatigue and tensed jaw. Davis had ostensibly been in charge of the security checks on the news crew and the negotiation with the hijackers. The hijacking would leave a black mark on his record regardless of the circumstances. Hammond grimaced. Maybe he'd try and speak with General Vidrine on the matter; Davis was a good officer.

Hammond closed the report and got to his feet. Davis followed him out of the office. Hammond couldn't prevent the quick check to ensure that the window to the Stargate was covered. Despite everything Donovan had seen and was about to be told, Hammond preferred to show her as little as possible.

Julia Donovan stood up as he approached and he was struck at how lovely she was in person; a tall, no-nonsense blonde with a business-like handshake and a sombre air as he indicated for her to take a seat. She suited the blue BDUs she was wearing; they lent her an air of authority, but he could see the faint shadows under her eyes and white stress lines around her mouth. She was anxious despite her outward confidence.

He placed the folder down in front of him and clasped his hands on top of it, aware that Davis had sat to his left, opposite Donovan on his right. He turned his attention to the reporter. 'I apologise for making you wait, Ms Donovan.'

She held up a hand and glanced at the SF behind her. 'Am I a prisoner here, General?'

'I would prefer you consider yourself our guest.' Hammond said.

'So I am a prisoner.' Donovan responded smartly.

'Ms. Donovan, there are some things we need to discuss,' Hammond said, 'after which you will be escorted back to Washington and allowed to resume your normal life.'

'You're just letting me go?'

Donovan seemed sceptical and he couldn't blame her. 'I need to remind you that you're still bound by the confidentiality agreement you signed before boarding the X303.'

She folded her arms over her blue shirt and looked at him bemused. 'That agreement was based on my getting exclusive access to the Prometheus project.'

'And you can appreciate why we can no longer honour that.' Hammond said firmly. 'Your own editor conspired to hijack the X303 for nefarious purposes.'

A flicker of grief, hurt and regret flooded her expressive features. 'I can't be held responsible for Al's actions.'

'And believe me, we're satisfied that you were as hoodwinked by him as we were.' Hammond stated. 'If we weren't, you can be assured we wouldn't be having this conversation.' He nodded at Davis.

'The President appreciates that the original agreement is no longer possible.' Davis said.

'Why?' Donovan asked. 'I can get another news crew together; we can document the Prometheus project as agreed.'

'That would be difficult,' Hammond said, 'given the X303, the Prometheus, is no longer in this galaxy.'

Donovan's mouth fell open slightly.

'We're prepared to offer you a new deal.' Davis inserted.

'Which is?' Donovan pressed.

'An exclusive interview with the President and special access to him throughout the next year in the run up to the election.' Davis explained shortly.

Donovan gestured at the room. 'And I'm supposed to forget that I've seen all this.'

Hammond's brief glance toward Davis stopped him from saying anything. 'Ms Donovan, if you choose to breech the confidentiality agreement we can't stop you but as you've seen, there are rogue elements that exist who would not think twice about silencing you and I'm afraid we cannot guarantee your safety.' He pressed his lips together. He didn't think she needed to know she wouldn't be the first reporter the rogue NID had killed.

She rubbed her nose as though considering her options. 'You know if someone told me a week ago that Prometheus was a spaceship and we had aliens living on Earth, I wouldn't have believed them.'

Hammond stayed quiet, allowing her the time to make her decision.

'Even if I went public, I'm not sure anyone would believe me,' she admitted, 'and even if they did; I'm not sure the world is ready for...this.' She gave a throaty laugh which hovered on the hysterical. 'I'm not sure I'm ready.'

Hammond considered his earlier thoughts and gave an understanding, sympathetic smile.

'I'll agree to the deal.' Donovan said. 'With one additional condition.'

'And that would be?' Davis asked, leaning across the table.

She leaned forward. 'When this thing _does_ go public, I want first dibs, exclusive access; the works.'

Hammond looked with interest from Donovan to Davis and back again. They seemed to be engaged in a mutual staring match. His lips twitched with amusement and he suppressed the urge to smile. He cleared his throat. 'I'm sure something could be worked out.'

Both of them turned to look at him before darting glances back at each other.

'Fine.' Donovan said. 'Then we have a deal.'

Hammond stood up, waiting until Donovan and Davis were also on their feet before he held out his hand to the reporter. She shook it firmly.

'General,' Donovan said hesitantly, 'I just wanted...can you thank Jonas and, uh, Major Carter and the others for me? I know I owe them my life.'

'I'll be happy to pass on your regards.' Hammond said, his pale blue eyes warming with appreciation. He gestured at her. 'I want you to know an Air Force psychiatrist will be made available to you...'

'No. Thanks.' Donovan waved a hand at him. 'I'm not really into shrinks.'

'Well, you'll be given a number to call in case you change your mind.' Hammond said. What she had seen and been through was tough for anyone to handle. 'The guard will show you to some quarters; you should find your civilian clothing has been laundered. You may want to change before Major Davis escorts you back to Washington.'

Both Donovan and Davis started.

Donovan smiled grimly at the Major. 'Well, then, I look forward to the flight.' She turned and the guard escorted her out.

Davis shifted beside Hammond. 'Sir?'

Hammond pointed at his office and he led the way into the room. He gestured for Davis to take a seat. 'The President is considering disclosing the Stargate programme to our allies.'

'I see, sir.' Davis sighed. 'I guess they're not going for the cover story.'

'I can't say I blame them.' Hammond said, taking his seat and leaning back into the warmth of the firm leather. 'Regardless, the Joint Chiefs believe you would be best placed in Washington to assist in the discussions.'

'Yes, sir.' Davis said crisply. 'Then with your permission?'

'A moment, Major.' Hammond leaned forward. 'Paul, I want you to know you still have the full confidence of this command. What happened with the X303 was unforeseeable and I fully intend to state as much in my report, son.'

'It means a lot that you would say that to me, sir.' Davis said gruffly.

Hammond nodded. 'Dismissed, Major.'

Davis came awkwardly to attention and turned smartly to leave.

'Paul.' Hammond called out bringing Davis to a halt with one hand on the door he had just opened. 'You may also want to consider giving Ms Donovan a break on the flight to Washington. She has been through a lot in the last few days.'

Davis nodded reluctantly. 'I'll keep that in mind, General.'

Hammond waved Davis out. He sat down and added the folder to the stack to his right. He pulled another from the stack on his left and began to read. He paused and looked up.

Worry about SG1 flickered through him. Were they OK? Would they be successful against the Replicators given the Asgard hadn't been able to stop them? Would they return? He rubbed the slim pen between his fingers. He had to believe they would. His lips firmed and he returned to his work.

He couldn't believe anything else.

o-O-o

_The click-clack of the metal spiders filled the corridor, a strange rhythmic beat under the melody of the gunfire. Jack O'Neill held his position and kept firing. Anger and panic tightened his chest, made his breathing choppy. He had a team-mate trapped in the gate room with a psychotic robot whose toys were threatening to take over the base._

_The sound of the torch being extinguished had him turning, marching back as Siler punched the metal hole through the door._

_Jack stormed inside, his gun already aimed...the single shot was all he needed. It impacted the facsimile of a human sending it to the floor; it was dead._

_His team-mate turned to him, blue eyes flashing angrily. 'You stupid son of a bitch!'_

_Jack stared at Samantha Carter. She glared back at him; hurt, anger and disappointment in her eyes. He looked down and blinked at the body of Fifth, a gaping hole in his chest where the bullet had impacted. 'OK.' He ran a hand through his hair. 'Something's wrong with this picture.'_

'_Yep.' Daniel Jackson's voice sounded wryly behind Jack._

_He turned and took in his friend's glowing form. 'Are you here or is this a dream?'_

'_I'm definitely here.' Daniel replied, pushing his hands into the pockets of the white pants he was wearing._

_Jack breathed a sigh of relief._

'_In your dream.' Daniel finished._

_Jack glowered as Daniel smirked at him. His friend sat down on the metal ramp of the Stargate and gestured back toward Carter and Fifth who seemed to be miraculously frozen._

'_Want to talk about it?'_

_Jack's eyebrows shot up. 'If this is my dream, why would you be asking me if I want to talk about it?' He demanded, waving his gun. 'Wouldn't I already know I don't want to talk about it?'_

'_Or maybe your subconscious mind knows you want to talk about it and knows I'm one of the few people who you'd talk about it with.' Daniel wrinkled his nose and shrugged his shoulders._

_Jack frowned but he walked across and sat down beside Daniel. 'There's nothing to talk about it.'_

'_Right.' Daniel murmured. 'Because it's not like you feel guilty.'_

'_I don't!' Jack denied furiously. He fidgeted as Daniel remained silent. 'I did the right thing.'_

_Daniel looked at him. _

'_I did.' Jack insisted._

'_I'm apparently not the one you think you need to convince.' Daniel pointed to Carter. _

_Jack's eyes darted to her before he looked away, his gaze falling to the concrete floor. 'She understands.'_

'_I didn't.' Daniel said. 'Not in the heat of the moment.'_

_Jack put the gun down and tugged at his laces. 'You're not military.'_

'_Why did you do it?' Daniel asked bluntly._

'_I couldn't take the risk of those...things getting free of the time dilation.' Jack responded immediately. 'Any of them.'_

'_So you wouldn't have taken Fifth even if he had been able to leave without the others knowing.' Daniel stated._

'_He's not some harmless puppy!' Jack got to his feet and paced away from the ramp. 'He was a threat.'_

'_Like Reese.'_

'_Yes, damn it!' Jack whirled back around and thrust his hand out toward the fallen human Replicator. 'Like Reese.'_

'_Did you even try talking him to Jack?' Daniel stood up._

_Jack pointed a finger at the archaeologist. 'Don't start that bull with me, Daniel.' He gestured at Fifth. 'He wasn't human. He was just a human shaped Replicator.'_

'_Who wanted to learn to be human.' Daniel rejoined._

'_He wasn't Pinocchio!' Jack said loudly. 'He and his buddies stuck their hands in our heads, Daniel, and let me tell you they didn't care about humanity.' He swallowed hard as the memory of reliving the worst moment of his life flickered through his head again. How many times had First made him relive it? He'd lost count; he'd just been determined the bastard wasn't getting anything from him._

'_You trapped them because you wanted revenge for them hurting you.'_

_The note of accusation pissed him off. Jack's eyes snapped up to Daniel's. 'Hey, you weren't there! You don't know what they did.' He stopped and glared at Daniel. 'Although let's face it, even if you had been there, you probably wouldn't have stopped it.' The words tumbled out of him as he waved at Daniel wildly. 'Just like you didn't stop me getting tortured to death by Ba'al, over and over.'_

_Daniel frowned and his blue eyes gleamed with contrition. 'You don't think I regret not doing something sooner than I did?'_

_The two of them stood in silence for a long moment._

_Jack took a deep breath to ease the tightness in his chest. 'Yeah, well, you did something eventually.' He admitted grudgingly._

_Daniel grimaced._

'_And you were there for me.' Jack continued. 'I might have, maybe, appreciated that.' His eyes fell away from Daniel's._

'_I swear I would have been there this time too,' Daniel began hesitantly, 'but the time dilation distorted everything across the Ascended plane in this galaxy.'_

_Jack looked at him questioningly._

'_I can't explain it.' Daniel folded his arms over his chest in a move so familiar Jack hurt watching it. _

_Jack sighed. His eyes drifted back to the tableau of Carter and Fifth. 'You would found another option.'_

'_You could have given him the choice.' Daniel said quietly. 'You could have asked him to stay behind; to let you and the others leave. You could have promised to have the Asgard look into a way of saving him.'_

'_And if he'd refused?' Jack countered. 'If he'd said he wouldn't go along with that, you think he would have still trusted Carter and me to give us a head start?' He sighed as he stared at the frozen image of Fifth. 'There was too much at stake to risk it, Daniel.' He pressed his lips together. 'I did the right thing.'_

'_Then I guess you have your answer...'_

Jack's eyes flew open.

The dream flickered in his head like a fading movie picture before it disappeared leaving only a vague dissatisfaction in its wake. He rubbed a hand over his face.

He eased into a sitting position. They'd set up one of the storage rooms as quarters. They'd padded the hard floor with sleeping bags and blankets in lieu of beds. He had to mention that to Thor for the next time, Jack thought as he pushed the heels of his hands into his sleep-sore eyes. They were still waiting to rendezvous with the Asgard and maintaining a steady course homeward in the meantime.

Jack reached for a water bottle and poured a good gulp down his throat. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and replaced the top on the bottle, throwing it down as he got to his feet and stretched.

The door opened and Teal'c entered. The Jaffa nodded at him as though unsurprised to see Jack on his feet and made for his own pallet.

'Everything OK?' Jack asked briskly.

'Major Carter and Jonas Quinn remain on the bridge.' Teal'c confirmed. 'I am in need of kel no reem.'

Jack nodded, taking in the Jaffa's tired, lined face. They hadn't spoken about the torture the Replicators had put everyone through – they'd all claimed not to remember much. They were all lying, Jack mused. He waved at his friend. 'I'll leave you to it.'

Teal'c sank to the floor, sitting with remarkable ease in a cross-legged position that left Jack slightly envious. 'O'Neill.'

Jack turned as he reached the door and looked over at Teal'c questioningly.

'I would have made the same decision.' Teal'c said firmly. His dark eyes glittered with understanding.

Unaccountably, Jack felt the urge to bawl his eyes out; his breath catching in his chest. He gave another sharp nod and left before he ended up weeping all over Teal'c. The mental image that thought brought to mind raised a reluctant smile as he took a moment in the corridor outside to collect himself; to lose the emotion that had risen up so unexpectedly.

He was just tired, Jack thought determinedly. Between the Prometheus being stolen by Colonel Simmons – and Jack wasn't going to lose sleep about tossing that guy's ass out of an airlock – and the Asgard's mission with the Replicators...it had been a tough couple of days – or week depending on where they were in the whole time dilation, relativity thing.

The situation with the Prometheus had been bad enough. He'd known it was a bad idea letting a camera crew on board. It had been an insane decision. Not to mention that the revelation that it had all been a set-up to free Simmons and Conrad had been galling.

He'd almost lost Carter.

Again.

And Jonas, Jack quickly added onto the thought. He'd almost lost Jonas too...although the kid hadn't been trapped on the wrong part of the Prometheus when the ship had been taken into orbit.

He was tired of pretending he didn't feel anything for her, Jack mused as he made along to the bridge, but it wasn't as though he had a choice. He couldn't look at her with the open adoration that had been on Fifth's face...

He stopped abruptly.

Jack shook himself slightly. He wasn't jealous of Fifth; he _wasn't_. And that had not, _absolutely not_, been the reason why he'd left him behind. Yes, he'd taken advantage of the guy, of the guy's feelings for Carter, but it was because it had been the right thing to do to make sure the universe was safe from the Replicators...if one of those monsters had gotten free...it didn't bear thinking about.

Which didn't explain the guilt that sat heavily in his gut and the sense that he had disappointed Carter.

Jack grimaced. It didn't matter if he had. He was her CO; it had been his decision to make and if she didn't like it, well, that was just tough. It didn't matter what she felt about him on a personal level just because he loved her; always would despite their ranks and working relationship. He sighed. Maybe if he said it enough times, he'd actually begin to believe it one day.

o-O-o

Jonas fiddled with a button before he gave up the pretence of actually doing anything useful. He stretched; his arms ached heavily and his whole body felt like it had gone a couple of rounds with Teal'c in the boxing ring. He tried and failed to stifle the yawn that opened his mouth wide across his face.

'You should get some sleep.' Sam's quiet admonishment had Jonas turning to look at her. She sat at the pilot's console of the Prometheus. She was busily tapping commands into the computer, apparently running simulations on the hyperdrive engines the Goa'uld had completed.

'I'm good.' Jonas said, belatedly responding to her comment.

Sam glanced across at him and raised a single elegant eyebrow in a remarkable imitation of their Jaffa team-mate but she didn't question his decision to stay on the bridge. Perhaps she was grateful for the company, Jonas mused, or maybe she just understood his reluctance to go to sleep following the torture the Replicators had inflicted. He shuddered slightly against the image they had created of his home planet exploding because of the naquadria bomb he had helped to build. He shook himself as though trying to shake the image out of his head completely. Nope. He was not looking forward to going to sleep.

Of course, it had been his fault that they'd had a second hand-in-the-head experience. He'd been the one to suggest that they should talk with them; that they could perhaps negotiate with the human form Replicators. And he'd been wrong. The Colonel's instinct had been right; they were too dangerous.

Except Fifth.

Jonas's mouth twisted and his eyes sneaked back to Sam. He felt guilty about Fifth and he figured Sam felt the same. She'd backed him up when he'd complained about the way the Colonel had used the guy to facilitate their escape. Fifth was different from the others; he had been worth saving. Jonas shifted in his seat; restless.

Maybe, truthfully, he also identified with Fifth a little. Fifth was out of place among his own people just as Jonas had been out of place among his at the end. Fifth had wanted to help SG1 so had Jonas. Maybe some of his discomfort was the thought that the Colonel could have considered him as expendable as Fifth. And maybe the more disturbing thought was that he did.

Jonas blinked rapidly and widened his eyes, shaking himself again. He was very tired if he was allowing his thoughts to drift in that direction. The SG1 team leader might have considered Fifth expendable but then he'd also made a clear distinction that Fifth wasn't human – which was a whole other philosophical debate that Jonas determined he probably shouldn't initiate with the Colonel until the events of the mission were far behind them.

No, the Colonel didn't consider Jonas expendable; Jonas was reasonably certain of that. Their relationship had even changed from the stiff awkwardness and formality that had tinged Jonas's early days on SG1. The Colonel had personally given him weapons training on their way to the planet; he'd teased him over ice-cream. More, the fact that Jonas had felt he could approach the Colonel with his opinion, that the Colonel had made some attempt to listen to him...that was a huge step forward. Of course it had helped that Sam had backed him up.

Jonas looked over at her again. She seemed so immersed in her work and she had to be as tired as he was. He cleared his throat. 'Sam...'

'Hmmm?' She replied, her eyes pinned to the monitor.

'I just, uh, wanted to say thank you.'

Her eyes turned to his questioningly, and a small frown indicated her confusion.

He waved at her. 'For agreeing with me about Fifth.'

She stilled before resuming her work. 'We did use Fifth's humanity against him.'

Jonas heard the self-recrimination in her voice. 'It wasn't your fault.'

'Yes, it was.' Sam corrected. 'I made him a promise and I was the one who betrayed him – I entered the time parameters.'

Jonas wondered what he could say. 'From what you and the Colonel told us, you were following his order.'

She sighed. 'That's not an excuse, Jonas. I should have thought of something else. I should have given the Colonel another option. Daniel would have...' she cut herself off abruptly.

A wave of understanding flooded Jonas. He'd spent quite a time feeling completely inadequate in comparison to the former member of SG1. He still did but he was working on it. He'd come to realise constantly comparing himself to Doctor Jackson was a futile exercise. He had to be himself. He bit his lip considering whether to share any of his own experience with Sam.

'Was there another option?' He asked instead.

Sam's eyes darted to him.

Jonas shrugged. 'As much as I hate to admit it, I can't think of one.'

'Neither can I.' Sam admitted.

'But you think Doctor Jackson would have thought of something.' Jonas stated, trying to keep his own emotions from bleeding through into the words.

Evidently, it didn't work as well as he hoped because she looked at him with more sympathy than he was comfortable with. 'Daniel has this talent for thinking outside of the box.' She said hesitantly. 'I keep thinking he would have found some way of talking to Fifth that I didn't that would have made the difference; like he did with Reese.'

'I guess there are some similarities in what happened.' Jonas murmured, thinking back to the journal he'd read. Daniel had stated that he had felt he had betrayed Reese; he had promised to protect her, a mere instant before the Colonel had shot her down. He'd written that he'd only needed another minute. And that was all that Fifth had needed; another minute – to join them, for Sam to have thought of something else maybe.

'It's weird, you know.' Sam said. 'Daniel and I used to have this argument all the time about what was a life form especially about robots and other forms of artificial life.'

'You didn't believe Reese was a life form?' Jonas asked, slightly surprised.

'I didn't.' Sam agreed. 'She was a robot; an incredibly sophisticated imitation of human life but she was a robot. Her actions...all her decisions were made in line with her programming. There was something...a coldness about her that gave her away.' She stared out of the forward windshield. 'And with the other human form Replicators, I could feel that same coldness, you know.'

'But not with Fifth.'

'No.' Sam said. 'Not with Fifth.' She sighed. 'I keep telling myself that I have to remember the Colonel was right; he wasn't human.'

'And that made him less worthy of saving?' Jonas winced; he hadn't meant it to sound so accusing.

'No,' Sam said, 'but it made him dangerous, Jonas.' She turned back to her work station and began tapping in instructions again. 'Even if we had saved him, he was still a Replicator. He had their innate programming which is to replicate. How long before he created a toy to keep himself company?'

And the Replicators they and the Asgard had worked so hard to contain would be reborn, Jonas concluded. 'But if he was developing humanity, maybe the Replicators he created would too.'

'We couldn't take that risk and even if they were _more_ human in nature, does that really make them less dangerous?' Sam said.

She had a point, Jonas mused. Humans weren't exactly the most peaceful of species.

'The Colonel did the right thing. He made the only decision he could that kept us and the Asgard safe.'

'Because there was no other option.' Jonas restated sadly. Maybe the Colonel had made the right decision.

Sam nodded.

The yawn caught him by surprise, distorting his face as he gulped in oxygen.

'Go and get some rest, Jonas.' Sam said. She caught his eye and attempted a half-smile. 'That's an order.'

Jonas got to his feet reluctantly.

'There are some sedatives in the medkit Thor beamed aboard if you have troubling falling asleep.' Sam said. His eyes shot to her but her attention was focused on the monitor.

'Thanks.' He stepped away from his chair and walked out of the bridge. He almost ran into the Colonel just outside of the doorway. He stumbled to a halt just in front of him and wondered briefly at the impression that the other man had been hovering there for some time before dismissing it.

'You headed for some shut-eye?' Jack asked briskly.

Jonas nodded.

'You might want to be quiet when you go in; Teal'c's doing his thing.' Jack warned as he moved past him.

'Colonel...' Jonas called out.

Jack looked over his shoulder questioningly.

'About before...what I said. I just wanted...' Jonas gestured at him awkwardly. 'I'm sorry we couldn't give you another option.'

The Colonel's lips twisted, and Jonas suspected again that his team leader been eavesdropping when he only gave a brief nod of acknowledgement. 'Get some sleep, Jonas.'

'Yes, sir.' Jonas watched as the Colonel disappeared onto the bridge. He grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck tiredly as he made his way to their sleeping quarters. He wondered if he could have made the same decision as the Colonel...and was incredibly pleased that he didn't have to bear that responsibility.

o-O-o

Sam adjusted the parameters of the simulation and frowned. It looked as though the Goa'uld had missed the fact that they were using an unstable power source and had programmed the hyperdrive without regard for the instability of the naquadria – which meant that they would have to rebuild the hyperdrive. She set the latest simulation running and glanced over at the Colonel.

Jack stared out of the windshield at the slow moving stars. He'd barely said anything since he'd sat down an hour before.

Sam swallowed hard. She had probably disappointed him but she believed what she had said; they had used Fifth's burgeoning humanity against him. They had betrayed him, or more accurately, she had betrayed him. She really hadn't meant to blame the Colonel by stating her agreement with Jonas; she had been too busy blaming herself. She had seen Fifth's want to be her friend – his interest in her. She had used it to convince him to help them and it had been her decision in the end to follow the Colonel's order and leave him behind.

She wasn't sure how she lived with that.

Perhaps by telling herself what she had said to Jonas; that Fifth was a Replicator, that he wasn't human, that he was dangerous. He might have seemed like an eager puppy but every dog could bite when it was threatened. Even if there had been some way of taking him with them without alerting the other Replicators ahead of time, Fifth would have been a danger to both the Asgard and their own galaxy. It had been too much of a risk to take. She believed that.

The Colonel had made the right decision.

She wondered how she got up the nerve to tell him that.

Her eyes drifted across the bridge to the front where they had found the body of Adrian Conrad. She shivered. The Replicators had made her relive the memory of the last time she had seen Conrad – not that she had needed the reminder. He had been in a wheelchair telling her why he'd kidnapped her. She didn't remember a lot of what his doctors had done to her but she remembered each wound on her body afterwards; the fear that still crawled through her veins sometimes when she left her gym or entered the infirmary. She had been mere seconds away from being given a lethal injection when the Colonel had burst in and saved her.

Just like he had turned up to save her again.

'Carter!'

Her head jerked towards him and Sam realised from the concern gleaming in his brown eyes that he'd been trying to get her attention. 'Sorry, sir.' She said quickly. 'I was miles away. Did you ask something?'

Jack looked at her carefully. 'Maybe you should take a break, Carter.'

'I'm fine, sir.' Sam said, unaware of the way her mouth set in a stubborn line as though to underline her words.

'Sure.' Jack agreed easily. He gestured at her console. 'Why don't you humour me and get some rest? I can drive for a while,' his eyes narrowed on hers, 'or don't you trust me with our shiny new spacecraft?'

'I trust you.' Sam replied automatically. Her breath caught for a second as his pleasure at her blunt words shone out at her unguarded before he turned away.

'Yes. Well.' Jack said. 'You should get some sleep.'

Maybe it was that easy to mend what she'd damaged after their escape from the Replicators, Sam considered. She stretched and glanced over at him. 'Actually, sir, the ship is on automatic pilot.'

'Really?' Jack's gaze snapped back to her. 'We have one of those?'

She nodded, biting her lip.

'Cool.' Jack said.

'I was thinking about getting something to eat.' Sam hinted.

Jack frowned. 'Do we have any food left?'

'Yes, sir.' Sam said. 'I had Teal'c and Jonas take an inventory and divide it into rations earlier.'

Jack's eyebrows rose a little. 'Good job.'

She flushed a little under the praise. 'So,' she said breezily to cover her reaction, 'dinner?'

He smiled at her. 'Was that an invitation, Carter?'

Her cheeks warmed under his gaze but she held it firmly. 'I guess so, sir.'

Jack waved at the door. 'Then lead on.'

She eased out of her chair and grimaced at the stiffness that invaded every muscle. She stretched slowly.

'You OK?'

Sam nodded, waving away his concern even as it flooded over her like a rush of warm air. They walked out of the bridge and along the corridor. The store-room had been emptied of a lot of its supplies. What was left was neatly divided into ration packs and stacked along one wall.

'Is this going to be enough?' Jack asked sceptically.

'As long as Thor shows up, sir.' Sam replied absently.

He looked at her askance.

She lifted a shoulder. 'We have enough to last three days.'

'Ah.' Jack picked up a pack and tossed it to her. 'And how long would it take us to get back to Earth without Thor?'

'Well, we only have sublight engines so...'

'So, a week?' Jack teased as he pulled up a crate for her and another for himself by the far wall. He opened up the pack and plucked out the chocolate pudding pot first. He caught her chiding expression. 'What?'

She didn't say anything. Instead she chose the pudding pot too and settled back against the wall, her shoulder brushing his.

'You know with all the excitement I forgot to mention that you did a great job slowing Simmons and his crew down.' Jack pointed with his spoon. 'How did you get out of that storage room anyway?'

'Torch.' Sam said modestly.

Jack licked the spoon. 'Teal'c was worried you wouldn't make it off deck seven before...you know, the whole depressurisation and death thing.'

Sam's lips twitched. 'Teal'c, sir?'

'You know how he worries.' Jack waved his spoon.

'I forgot to say thank you for rescuing me again.' Sam said, thinking of her earlier musings.

Jack shrugged. 'Any time.'

There was a comfortable silence as they continued to dig into the chocolate pots.

Sam let her mind drift to the issues with the X303. They would need to dissemble the hyperdrive; rebuild it. Then there was the repair work on deck seven to do; the control board she had sabotaged. She would need to spend a week at Area 51...

'Carter.' Jack waved a hand in front of her face. 'You still with me?'

'Sorry, sir.' She apologised again. 'I was thinking of repairs.'

'You going to need some time in Nevada?' Jack asked.

She nodded and grimaced. A whole week with Rodney McKay. He'd been furious at being left out of the news documentary and had called her five time – _five times_ – to complain. Maybe she didn't need a week; maybe she only needed a few days; maybe only two; twenty-four hours even. She sighed heavily. 'What about you, sir?'

'I might put in for some leave.' Jack said.

'Fishing, sir?' Sam asked.

Jack nodded. He dropped his spoon into the empty pot and placed it on the ground. 'Nothing but the peace and quiet of Minnesota, Carter.'

She hid her smile by licking her own spoon.

'Shame you can't come with.' Jack said unthinkingly; his attention was tied up with opening up his sandwiches.

She stared at him, her heart pounding. 'Was, uh, was that an invitation? Sir?'

His head shot up but before he could reply, the door opened.

'Hey, guys.' Jonas waved at them as he and Teal'c entered.

The Jaffa wordlessly pulled up his own crate and opened his ration pack with a studied carefulness. He also took out the chocolate pot. Jonas followed his example.

Sam lowered her spoon and dropped her gaze to her own almost empty pot. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the Colonel's answer. He had probably only invited her – if it had been an invitation and God knew she was more than capable of assuming one when he hadn't meant it that way at all – but if it had been an invitation, he had only invited her as a friend; colleague. Nothing more. Just because he showed concern about her; had been worried about her...he was her friend as well as her team leader. He had moved on from feeling feelings. She was sure of it. She should accept that and be grateful for his friendship.

'Is the chocolate pot not to your liking, Major Carter?' Teal'c asked.

She looked up to see him gazing at her with concern. 'Sorry...just thinking.'

'You should get some rest after you've finished eating.' Jack said, firmly enough that she knew it was an order.

She nodded. 'Yes, sir.'

'We promise not to crash your spaceship, Carter.' Jack teased.

'Have we heard from Thor?' Jonas asked, pushing a spoon loaded with chocolate pudding into his mouth.

'Not yet.' Jack replied.

Jonas swallowed his food hastily. 'Can I ask a question?'

Jack waved his agreement.

'Why are we eating dessert first?' Jonas asked, his face creasing with confusion. 'I mean, is there a reason?'

Sam smiled and looked over at Jack before they both shared a look with Teal'c.

'We saved the galaxy – two galaxies.' Jack replied brightly. 'I think that deserves dessert.'

'Indeed.' Teal'c agreed. He growled as Jack reached across, trying to snag another spoonful of chocolate pudding from the Jaffa's pot.

Sam chuckled as Jack backed off. She let the conversation – something about Jonas and first times – wash over her as she put her food down for a moment. The camaraderie and banter helped ease the rest of her lingering guilt away. What was done, was done. She would talk to Thor about Fifth; perhaps the Asgard could help him some way...

She felt her muscles relax and the rhythm of the ships' engines through the soles of her feet. Maybe she would just close her eyes; just for a moment...she was unaware of her head, drifting downward, settling against the Colonel's shoulder as she fell fast asleep.

o-O-o

Thor looked at his monitor with surprise. It had been a long time since the sensors had detected an Ascended life form – they had never detected one in the Asgard home galaxy before. He changed the stone's position and tilted his head.

Most unusual.

Suddenly, the sensor reading disappeared and the air beside him stirred. Thor turned to his left and blinked.

'Daniel Jackson.'

'Thor.' Daniel raised a hand and waved. 'Hi.'

'It has been a long time since one of your kind visited with the Asgard.' Thor said slowly, trying to regain his bearings.

'You mean, Ascended?' Daniel shrugged. 'Well, there is that whole non-interference rule, I guess.'

Thor looked at him curiously. 'Your Ascension is of great interest to the Asgard. We had not heard of a human attaining such a state of being before.'

'Well, I did have a little help.' Daniel admitted. He pushed his hands into his pockets. 'And I, uh, need a little help from you.'

'You do not wish me to reveal your presence to the others.' Thor realised.

'That would be great.' Daniel said. He looked at the X303 ship on the monitor. 'They've been through a lot the last few days.'

Thor felt a flicker of guilt. The Asgard had been responsible for all that SG1 had endured at the hands of the Replicators. 'We owe them a huge debt of gratitude.'

Daniel looked over at him. 'They've saved your galaxy and ours from certain destruction.'

Thor gazed back at him. 'You believe they deserve more than gratitude.'

'Don't you?' Daniel gestured at him. 'And didn't Anubis already make the Protected Planets Treaty defunct when he attacked you?'

The reminder of his time with the Goa'uld unnerved Thor more than he liked to admit. Anubis was no longer just Goa'uld, but what he was...Thor was not quite certain.

'You are attempting to influence me by using my own anger toward Anubis.' Thor noted dispassionately.

'Is it working?' Daniel joked. He waved at Thor. 'Sorry. I have trouble with the whole non-interfering thing and I was thinking; different galaxy, no Others around...' he sighed. 'I know you have your own rules about it.'

'We do.' Thor said. 'But we understand that it is not easy to stand by and do nothing.'

Daniel pulled a face and Thor glimpsed the struggle Daniel Jackson was enduring with sympathy.

'I should probably go.' Daniel said.

'I will not mention your visit, Daniel Jackson.' Thor said sincerely. 'It has been good to see you.'

'And you, Thor.'

There was a flash of blinding light and Daniel's Ascended form disappeared.

Thor felt a tightness in his chest and realised he was holding his breath. He let it out slowly. Daniel Jackson was right. SG1 deserved more than a mere thank you for all they had done. And Anubis had effectively destroyed the Protected Planets Treaty when he had attacked. Perhaps a gesture of friendship toward Earth would be appropriate; perhaps Asgard shields for their spacecraft. It was something to consider and it would need to be discussed by the Council.

Thor snagged the Earth ship within his own shields and beamed into the storage room where SG1 seemed to be gathered.

He blinked.

O'Neill rested against the back wall; Major Carter curled up next to him, her head on his shoulder. Both were fast asleep. The new member, Jonas Quinn, was also sleeping; stretched out on the floor in front of a wall of boxes.

Only Teal'c looked back at Thor; the Jaffa sat cross-legged on the floor. He was guarding his team-mates, watching over them.

They exchanged a silent look of understanding.

Thor inclined his head; Teal'c bowed his in return.

There was no need for words, Thor mused.

Thor returned to his ship and set course for Earth. He would fulfil his promise and return them home safely. And perhaps, he would also one day repay them for his new home and freedom from the Replicators.


	36. Adjustments

**Author's Note: **Jonas/Sam friendship. Sam/Jack UST. Jacob/Hammond friendship.

**Sight Unseen Recap:** _SG1 return after a mission to P9X391with a device that is emitting strange energy readings. Jonas sees an alien insect in the gate room and the base goes on lockdown even though nobody else sees it. After six hours there is no sign of the insect and the video shows nothing. Hammond puts SG1 on downtime and SG1 worries whether Jonas is delusional and showing signs of the naquadria radiation that affected his mentor. Jack leaves for fishing, casually inviting Sam along even though he is aware of her intention to study the device. _

_She is joined in her lab by Jonas who sees another creature which Sam doesn't and he realises something may be wrong with him. However, health checks indicate he's fine. Hammond removes him from duty and Jonas pleads with him to be allowed to continue studying the device, suggesting as his hallucinations only began when they brought the device to the SGC that there may be some connection. Hammond notes he can study video recordings; the device is being shipped to Area 51._

_Jonas complains to Teal'c. They discuss their downtime and Jonas realises Teal'c was also invited fishing with Jack. Teal'c is noting that Jonas should be pleased he wasn't invited when Teal'c also sees an insect. 30 miles away, Jack sees an insect at the gas station when he stops to refuel his truck. He calls Hammond who tells him the alien bugs everywhere. Colorado Springs is quarantined, and Jack remains outside of the SGC coordinating with the National Guard._

_Sam apologises to Jonas for doubting him, telling him that he's part of the team, that he's earned their respect and doing a great job. He tries to decipher the writing on the device. Jonas and Sam eventually work out that the device's energy is allowing them to 'see' into another dimension in which the alien bugs exist. They can't interact with the bugs although the bugs seem to also be aware of their dimension. Hammond orders the device shut down but Sam tells him they've already tried and failed. They remove the core and for a while they think it's worked but as Sam and Jonas debate studying the creatures with Teal'c, they realise it hasn't. They also try taking the device back to the planet but that also doesn't solve the problem._

_Sam and Jonas eventually work out that the device's energy was only attracting the bugs but something else had to have made them have the 'sight' to see them. They theorise that the device emitted a charge that has been passed person to person – anyone who has had contact with the SGC personnel needs to be isolated. Jack goes to find Vernon, the gas attendant. But Vernon is a vet from the Gulf and suspicious of the cover story of a chemical spill causing mass hallucinations, he runs away._

_Back at the base, Sam and Jonas discover how to reverse the charge and start working on tracking down Vernon. They visit with Vernon's grandmother who amusingly thinks Sam and Jonas are a couple. Finally they track down Vernon to an airport and Jack manages to convince him to stop running._

**Adjustments**

The iris closed with a metallic snick that Samantha Carter paid no attention to as she made her way down the ramp, removing her cap with one hand. To her right, Jonas Quinn and Teal'c followed her until they were all stood in a neat line-up in front of General Hammond. Not for the first time, Sam felt a pang as Hammond's eyes landed on her rather than their usual SG1 team leader, Jack O'Neill.

'Sir.' Sam gestured back towards the gate. 'The device has been safely delivered back to the planet.'

The device in question was some kind of dimensional machine; able to give someone the ability to see into a different dimension while simultaneously attracting the creatures there towards it for study. It was remarkable. It was also highly dangerous given the ease with which the dimensional sight was passed on. The SGC had just narrowly escaped revealing the existence of the Stargate programme. They'd unwittingly spread the ability to see the dimensional creatures beyond the base before they had realised what had happened.

Sam's eyes drifted to Jonas as she felt a renewed flicker of guilt for not believing him when he'd first seen the creatures. They had all worried that Jonas's ability to suddenly see things they hadn't was a sign he was suffering from the radiation sickness that had struck down the other Kelownan scientists involved with the naquadria project on his planet. She belatedly realised that General Hammond was talking.

'...good job, Major.'

'Uh, thank you, sir.' Sam said.

Hammond smiled at the three of them. 'As soon as you've handed in your reports you can consider yourselves on downtime.'

'Do we really need the downtime, General?' Jonas piped up quickly. 'I mean, my understanding was that you put us on downtime because I was seeing things but as I really was seeing things and wasn't, uh...'

'Hallucinating.' Teal'c supplied helpfully.

'You see my point?' Jonas concluded, looking hopefully at the General.

Hammond glanced at Sam who was trying to hide her smile. 'I'm guessing you're also of the same opinion, Major?'

'Yes, sir.' Sam agreed. She had intended spending the downtime in her lab but she knew their team leader had been pleased to get away from the SGC. He had requested leave when they'd returned from the Asgard home galaxy only to be refused given the back-log of missions created by the Asgard's removal of key supplies. She knew he had been looking forward to going fishing. Her stomach fluttered slightly at the thought. 'But I don't think Colonel O'Neill needs to be recalled, sir.'

The General nodded. 'Consider yourself temporarily in charge of SG1, Major. I'll put you back on mission rotation.' He looked at the three of them. 'We'll debrief tomorrow at oh-eight-hundred.' He left before they could thank him.

Sam waved at her two team-mates. 'Go ahead to the infirmary. I'll catch up with you.' She diverted into the control room, taking the stairs to the General's office. She rapped sharply on the open door and he turned to look at her surprised.

He waved her in. 'Was there something else, Major?'

'I'd like your permission to take Jonas and Teal'c off-base for a night, sir.' Sam explained.

'Permission granted.' Hammond said. 'On the condition that you clear your physicals.'

'Thank you, sir.' Sam said.

Hammond smiled at her. 'Dismissed, Major.'

She turned to leave but paused as she caught sight of how his smile fell away and the look of worry that took its place. She hovered in the doorway. She rarely allowed herself to acknowledge her relationship with Hammond as a friend of her family but she couldn't help but be concerned; he looked as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders. 'Sir. Is everything OK?'

Hammond looked up, momentarily startled to find her still present. His expression smoothed. 'Nothing for you to worry about, Major.'

His emphasis on her rank had her straightening. 'Yes, sir.'

'Sam.' Hammond stopped her as she made to leave again. He motioned her back inside and gestured for her to shut the door. He sighed heavily. 'Senator Kinsey is using the events of the last few days to argue for complete disclosure of the Stargate programme to key allies and states.'

'I see, sir.' Sam grimaced. The Senator was not a fan of the SGC; she could imagine the pressure the General was under especially as the programme had almost been compromised.

'And frankly, I'm running out of arguments on why we shouldn't.' Hammond concluded. He settled back in his chair, placing his hands over the swell of his belly. 'The past few days haven't been our finest hour.'

Sam winced. While she knew any of the SG teams could have brought the device back, she couldn't help but feel responsible. 'We couldn't have known, sir.'

'He's arguing that we took an unacceptable risk especially now we have off-world bases where the device could have been taken for study.' Hammond tapped his fingers together. 'And as much as I hate to admit it, he has a point.'

'With respect, sir, neither the Alpha or Beta sites are currently set-up for extended study of alien artefacts.' Sam said. 'It currently isn't possible for either to be used for such a purpose.'

'Maybe we should consider putting a proposal together for such a facility.' Hammond said. 'It may help me delay Kinsey's proposal.'

Sam nodded. 'I'd be happy to put together some provisional thoughts, General.'

'Confer with Doctor Lee on this tomorrow.' Hammond said. 'He's our most experienced off-world civilian scientist and I'd like to get his thoughts on this.'

'Yes, sir.' Sam agreed. The thought that Hammond would no doubt have suggested her old team-mate Daniel Jackson if he hadn't Ascended to another plane of existence instead of Lee drifted through her mind.

'You'd best get to your post mission check, Major.' Hammond reminded her gently.

Sam gave a small smiled and nodded. She headed out of the office and to the infirmary.

Janet Fraiser greeted her with a pointed look at her watch.

'Sorry,' Sam said quickly, taking her place on one of the infirmary beds, 'I was discussing something with the General.'

'You're forgiven.' Janet said as she began her checks. 'You just missed Jonas and Teal'c.'

Sam waited until Janet finished examining the back of her throat before speaking again. 'Are they cleared to leave the base?'

'I don't see why not.' Janet said, noting down her observations on the clipboard she carried. She darted a glance at Sam. 'You had something in mind?'

'Just dinner and maybe a movie.' Sam said. 'Jonas doesn't get many chances to get off-base.'

'Well, sounds fun.' Janet said wistfully.

'You want to come?' Sam asked impulsively.

Janet shook her head. 'Can't.' She placed the blood pressure cuff on Sam. 'I'm standing in for Doctor Brightman tonight.' She fell silent as she took the reading but regarded Sam speculatively as she made another notation. 'Of course, we could go out this weekend for another girl's night out.'

Sam attempted a smile. 'I'm not sure...'

'Oh come on.' Janet said. 'The last one wasn't so bad.'

It hadn't been, Sam considered tiredly. She and Janet had gone to a couple of nice bars; had some nice drinks; met some nice guys who had tried and failed to get her number. It just wasn't her scene.

'You need to get out more.' Janet noted.

'Is that your medical diagnosis?' Sam asked sharply.

Janet's eyebrows rose. 'Actually, yes. As your doctor, I believe it wouldn't hurt you to relax more and have some fun.'

'I have fun.' Sam said defensively. Why didn't anyone think she had any fun? She had fun. She did. OK, so maybe her idea of fun was taking some alien device apart and putting it back together again and not sitting on a dock with a fishing rod but it was still fun. She grimaced as she realised where her thoughts had drifted.

'And as your friend,' Janet continued as though Sam hadn't spoken, 'I have to tell you I believe it wouldn't hurt you to relax more and have some fun.'

Sam sighed in defeat. 'Fine. We'll go out.'

'Great.' Janet finished her write-up with a flourish and gestured at her. 'You're all done.'

Sam jumped down off the infirmary bed and smiled her goodbye as she headed for the showers. She stripped and put the water on hot, letting the warmth of it seep into her bones and wash away the sand that had sneaked through to lie against her skin. Instant exfoliation, Sam mused as she felt the rub of the tiny particles as she soaped up. The Colonel had complained about sand getting everywhere constantly and very loudly the whole time they had been on P9X391 the first time, she remembered fondly.

She ducked her head back under the streaming water.

God. She must love him if she considered his grumpiness attractive. She switched the shower off and wrapped a towel around her body, grabbing another to dry her hair.

The problem was she did love him, Sam thought sadly as she dressed. He was the reason why she really wasn't interested in the dating scene; why Mrs Sharp's assumption of her and Jonas being a couple was the closest thing she had gotten to being in a relationship for years. She tied her laces with a hard jerk.

There was a time when Jack had invited her fishing and meant it; meant it as a prelude to them getting closer, to spending time together outside of work, when the invite had held only the veneer of friendship masking his deeper motivations. Just as she had always wanted to go for the same reasons but had always refused because fishing together alone was risky and she knew in her heart it would have been the start of something more. But those days were over.

He only ever seemed to invite her when she was already scheduled to do something else as though he wasn't truly concerned if she wanted to go fishing with him at all; as though he didn't want her there even just as a friend.

And it hurt.

Because she wanted desperately to go; to sit on his dock with him, to fish beside him and just enjoy his friendship and company if that's all they could have.

Sam slammed her locker shut. It was better that he kept her at arm's length. They'd gotten a little closer since Daniel's death and he had allowed her to help him a little through his recovery from being a Tok'ra host and being tortured at the hands of Ba'al. But it was clear that the Colonel had no intent on returning to their previous situation when both of them had slipped over the lines allowed by their military ranks and working relationship. And he was right. They needed to maintain a professional distance to protect each other better; to focus on the mission.

Career, Sam reminded herself for the umpteenth time as she left the locker room and went in search of Jonas and Teal'c. She needed to just focus on her career and not moon over what might have been with Jack or what was.

o-O-o

Jonas handed the menu back to the waitress with an easy grin, unaware of how her eyes rested appreciatively on the well-defined muscles of his arms and torso showcased by his tight white t-shirt. He did notice Sam attempting to hide a grin as the waitress walked away. He looked at his team-mate questioningly.

'What?' He asked.

Teal'c picked up his virgin cocktail with its flamboyant pink umbrella and regarded Jonas with amusement. 'I believe Major Carter observed the waitress admiring your physique.'

'Really?' Jonas's head swivelled around to the waitress who stood staring at him from the front desk. She immediately blushed and hurried to look busy. 'You think she's interested in me?'

Sam pointed her straw at him. 'Oh, she's definitely interested.'

Jonas turned back around a little self-consciously. The waitress was young and pretty. 'She's nice.'

'You should ask her out.' Sam suggested.

Jonas stared at her. Asking out the waitress hadn't crossed his mind. 'Me?'

Sam exchanged an openly amused look with Teal'c. 'Well, she's not interested in me.'

Jonas was fairly certain she was making a joke rather than an expression of disappointment. But then he'd never really talked with Sam about her romantic relationships; he'd just assumed she was interested in men. He'd observed that she and the Colonel were close and had an attraction although given the regulations he'd read he assumed they couldn't pursue a romantic relationship nor apparently could Sam be openly gay if she was that way inclined. Not that he thought she was. He picked up a cashew nut. 'These taste great.'

'You're not going to ask her?' Sam teased.

Jonas flushed. 'I'm not sure I'm allowed to date.'

Teal'c raised his eyebrow.

'I mean, I'm...you know.' Jonas said.

'An illegal alien.' Sam grinned at him.

Teal'c inclined his head. 'You are human, Jonas.'

'Mostly.' Sam quipped. She raised a hand as Teal'c shot her a quelling look.

'Well, it would be kind of hard to date when I'm not allowed off-base without an escort.' Jonas commented.

'I could talk to General Hammond.' Sam offered. 'I'm sure something can be arranged.'

'That would be great.' Jonas smiled at her gratefully. 'I'd appreciate that.'

Teal'c got to his feet and quietly excused himself. He headed for the bathroom and Jonas picked up his own drink. He had opted for an apple juice. Sometimes Earth drinks had a tendency to surprise him. He took a large gulp and enjoyed the sweet tart taste as it washed through his mouth.

He leaned forward. 'I want to thank you for this.' He waved his hand at the restaurant. 'I really appreciate it.'

Sam lowered her drink. 'I should have invited you out before, Jonas.'

There was a sincere regret in her voice that pulled at his compassion. 'I can understand why you haven't.' Jonas said. 'You were very close to Doctor Jackson.'

'I didn't – don't – blame you for what happened with Daniel, Jonas.' Sam rushed to reassure him.

'I know.' And he did. He had never felt that Sam blamed him even in the immediate aftermath of his arrival from Kelowna and Daniel's Ascension. If he'd been pressed, he would have said she just hadn't really acknowledged his presence as important up until the issues with the Stargate that had earned him his chance on SG1.

'It's not really been about you.' She continued. 'I've just...' she searched for words, 'struggled with the whole adjustment, I guess.' She offered him a small smile. 'Losing Daniel...gaining a new team-mate.'

'I understand.'

'I also need to apologise again.' Sam said. 'For not believing you.'

'I can understand why.' Jonas refused to dwell on how much it had disturbed him that his team-mates hadn't believed him about seeing the dimensional creatures. Given the medical history of his old mentor Doctor Kieran, Jonas could appreciate why they had jumped to the conclusion that he might have been hallucinating especially when he was the only one to see the creatures at first. Even he had been concerned given there was no video evidence to support his first sighting.

'I know how I felt when the guys didn't believe me about seeing a...a visitor.' Sam said.

'You mean the incident with, uh...' he searched his memory, 'Orlin?'

She nodded. 'I know they had reason to believe I was seeing things because I'd collapsed but...' she looked down at the bright red tablecloth, 'if anyone should have believed you, it should have been me.'

Jonas shrugged. 'I won't deny that I was disappointed that you all didn't believe me despite the evidence but like I said I understand why.' He gave a short laugh. 'For a second there I thought I might be going the same way as Doctor Kieran myself.'

Sam reached across the table and placed a hand on his arm. 'You're going to be fine, Jonas.'

'Maybe.' He said, trying to make light of his worry. 'And what you said yesterday about me being part of the team and doing a good job? I really appreciate that.'

Sam squeezed his arm. She opened her mouth to say something else but a throat being cleared beside the table had them both looking sideways at a disappointed waitress. Sam sat back to allow the young woman to place the pizzas on the table.

Sam held back her laugh until the waitress had left. 'Sorry, Jonas.'

'Not a problem.' He shrugged unconcerned and shifted to allow Teal'c back into the booth.

Jonas picked up a slice of pizza and bit into it, enjoying the tangy taste of tomato. He hadn't really considered getting involved with anyone on Earth since his arrival but maybe he should. After all, it was unlikely that he would ever go back to Kelowna. He would need to read some books, Jonas mused, from everything he had seen on the television programmes Teal'c watched, courting on Earth was not the same as Kelowna. Jonas frowned. It always unsettled him a little whenever he considered staying on Earth and never going back but just at that moment...it didn't. He didn't know what that meant, if it meant anything. Maybe, he mused as he devoured another slice of pizza and watched as Sam tried to convince Teal'c into giving her a bite of his, maybe it was a sign that he had made an adjustment in accepting Earth as his home just as Sam had with accepting him onto the team.

He was proud of the latter. His relationship with the Colonel was improving all the time, he'd always been close to Teal'c, but somehow with Sam's acceptance of him...he felt like he finally belonged on SG1. And that probably explained why he felt like Earth was his home, Jonas realised.

'You OK?' Sam asked, interrupting his thinking.

Jonas picked up another slice of pizza. 'So,' he began curiously, 'how does courting someone work here?'

o-O-o

The wormhole shimmied and Jacob Carter stepped out onto the ramp. He took a moment to get his bearings before he made his way down to the single waiting person.

Hammond smiled widely at him and greeted him with a firm handshake and a pat on the shoulder. 'Jake. It's good to see you.'

'You too.' Jacob frowned.

'Major Carter's already left for the evening.' Hammond explained, anticipating Jacob's first question, as he led the way out of the gate-room and up the stairs to his office. 'She took Jonas and Teal'c off-base for a meal, I believe. She'll be back later.'

Jacob offered him a grateful smile. 'Actually, it's you who I've come to see.' He reached into the bag he had slung cross-ways over his body and pulled out a small blue bottle. 'It's the first of the synthetic tretonin for the Pangarans.'

Hammond shut the door and turned the bottle over in his hands. 'You want to run some tests with them, I presume.'

'That would be the next step.' Jacob said. 'If you can organise an SG team to give me an introduction tomorrow that would be great.'

'Jack's fishing but the rest of SG1 can accompany you.' Hammond said. He placed the bottle on the table and waved Jacob into a chair.

'Jack's on leave?' Jacob inquired. 'Is everything OK?'

Hammond nodded. 'The downtime was precipitated by an incident with an Ancient piece of technology. It caused us to be able to see creatures from another dimension. That ability was transferred by way of an electrical charge and the base was breeched.' He moved to the cabinet and pulled out a good bottle of scotch and a couple of glasses. He raised it in an offer and Jacob nodded, although his eyebrows rose as Hammond poured out the drinks. 'We managed to contain the situation but Colorado Springs had to be quarantined, there's a cover story and...'

'And a whole heap of political crap.' Jacob concluded taking the tumbler.

Hammond smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. He settled back into his leather chair with his hands wrapped around his glass. 'I could do with some advice from an old friend.'

'Shoot.' Jacob said.

'Senator Kinsey is arguing for disclosure of the Stargate programme to the major powers; China, the United Kingdom, France.' Hammond explained. 'He's been pushing for it since the X303 was hijacked. This latest incident has given him fresh ammunition.' He took a sip of his drink. 'I'm running out of arguments.'

'Maybe it's time.' Jacob said.

Hammond frowned.

'Think about it, George,' Jacob waved his glass at him, 'it's a minor miracle the whole thing hasn't been discovered by the public yet. If this is just about informing the governments of some of the major foreign powers...it may gain you more than you lose.'

'China is not going to be happy with the Stargate being in the hands of the US military.' Hammond pointed out. 'And there's no guarantee that any of them will accept the status quo.'

'True.' Jacob said. 'But this way you have some control over the disclosure.' He looked at his old friend seriously. 'If Kinsey forces this disclosure to happen and you're not on board, it ends up being on his terms.'

'It's the wrong thing to do.' Hammond murmured. 'It's been difficult enough handling Russian involvement not to mention our own government. If we complicate things with further international involvement...'

'You're concerned the programme will get mired in bureaucracy.' Jacob said.

'Or shut down.' Hammond sighed as he considered Jacob's advice. 'There are times I wonder why I do this job.'

'Because you love it.' Jacob replied immediately. He raised his glass. 'You run a great command, George, and people will see that.'

Hammond gave a huff of appreciative laughter. He couldn't deny that he was pleased with the praise. He'd needed to hear it, he realised with some chagrin. He'd been internally critical about the way he'd handled the dimensional creatures. He should have kept the base on lockdown for longer; he should have believed Jonas Quinn instead of jumping to conclusions about the Kelownan's health...he'd deserved some of the criticism Kinsey had levelled at him.

Jacob smiled suddenly. 'You know you could always bring in the weight of your alien allies to help your cause.'

'You mean the Tok'ra.' Hammond surmised.

'Actually I was thinking of the Asgard.' Jacob said. 'Don't they owe us for saving their galaxy?'

'They're usually quite strict about not getting involved with the internal politics of a planet.' Hammond said. But it probably wouldn't hurt to ask the question; the Asgard did owe them.

Jacob grimaced. 'The Tok'ra would probably decline for the same reason and besides...' he stopped and tilted his head as though listening internally.

'And besides?' Hammond prompted.

'We're not really in a position to help you right now.' Jacob concluded. 'Anubis has done a lot of damage in the last year.'

Hammond nodded slowly. Anubis had targeted the Tok'ra; most were in hiding, they had scaled back the number of permanent bases they had and there was even a small number living permanently at the Alpha site with the Free Jaffa. 'How are things going on the Alpha site?'

'Good.' Jacob shrugged. 'We have a few tussles here and there but nothing we can't sort out.' He took a large gulp of his drink. 'Bra'tac has been a Godsend.'

'He's a good man.' Hammond agreed.

'I'm enjoying getting to know him.' Jacob said. 'Teal'c's son is a pistol too.'

'Teal'c'll be thrilled to hear you say so.' Hammond noted with a smile. 'He's very proud of Rya'c.'

'He should be.' Jacob drained the glass and set it on the desk. 'You can tell the kid misses his Dad though.'

'Teal'c's sacrificed a great deal to help us and fight against the Goa'uld.' Hammond said.

Jacob nodded. 'You know in some ways I get to see Sam more now than I did when she was a kid.'

'Susie reminds me every so often that I should have been retired by now.' Hammond grimaced, thinking of his own daughter.

'How is Susie?' Jacob asked.

'Good.' Hammond replied. 'She's teaching part-time again now Kayla and Tessa are both in school. She's enjoying it. She and Russell seem happy. It's nice to see her settled.'

'I feel the same way about Mark.' Jacob said, referring to his son. 'Great wife, good job, fantastic kids...' his voice trailed away.

'But?' said Hammond, hearing the undercurrent in Jacob's tone, seeing it in the way his eyes darkened.

'I worry about Sam.' Jacob admitted. He sighed heavily and gestured. 'I know she's doing great things and I'm so proud of her I could burst but I wonder sometimes if she's realised what she's missing out on by focusing so heavily on her career.'

'She's still a young woman, Jake.' Hammond pointed out. 'There's time yet.'

'I know, I know, but you can't tell me you and Jack aren't grooming her to take over SG1.' Jacob smiled at Hammond's wince. 'I know you can't discuss it with me – it's not appropriate – but I have eyes, and let's face it, why else wouldn't you have given her a command by now? Not to mention Jack only has, what? A year or so left in the field? It's a miracle he made it back after what happened with Ba'al.'

'Jacob.' Hammond said warningly.

His friend held up his hands in surrender. 'My point is that I just want her to be happy, George.'

'Isn't that what we all want for our kids?' Hammond replied mildly.

Jacob nodded. He grimaced. 'We seem to have gotten off track.' He folded his hands over his stomach. 'Have you decided what you're going to do about Kinsey?'

'Jack suggested shooting him.' Hammond commented idly. The SG1 team leader had called in earlier to check that the team had made it back from P9X391. Hammond had informed him of developments and hadn't been surprised at Jack's response.

'Why doesn't that surprise me?' Jacob laughed.

Hammond chuckled before he sobered. 'I guess I'm going to have to agree to this disclosure idea; get some control over it.'

'That would be my plan.' Jacob agreed. He stood up. 'Well, I'm beat. I'm going to find some quarters.'

Hammond stood up. 'I'll leave a message with the guards at the check-in desk to let Sam know you've arrived.'

'Thanks, George.' Jacob clasped his outstretched hand warmly before he departed from the office.

Hammond sat down and thought over Jacob's advice some more. He was still inclined to stall but Kinsey was a problem and there was no doubt that the disclosure would happen unless the Senator was dealt with. He took out the disc of evidence from his desk drawer and regarded it tiredly. Maybe it was time to play his card; maybe it was time to give the evidence he held to Agent Barrett.

_Not yet._

The words rushed through him like a gust of wind. He frowned and couldn't help the instinctive look around his office to check he was alone even though the words had been inside his head. But they hadn't sounded like him; they'd sounded like...like Daniel Jackson.

Hammond hesitated but slowly placed the disc back into the drawer. He looked around his office one more time, holding his breath. There was nothing; no words, no sound. He shook himself and stood up. He was probably just tired; it was time to go home. He walked out and switched the lights off, plunging the room into darkness.

o-O-o

The early morning light had turned the pond to a pale gold colour. Jack blew on his coffee, took a gulp and set it down beside the tackle box. He picked up the rod and sent the line flashing through the air. The whirr and the accompanying plonk as the line hit the water brought a smile to Jack's face. He began to slowly reel the line in, enjoying the chill on his skin.

He breathed in deeply, letting the air expand his lungs and blow away the cobwebs. He'd needed this, Jack thought absently. More than he would ever admit to. He'd been disappointed but understanding when Hammond had denied leave immediately after SG1 had returned from helping the Asgard with the Replicators. There had been a backlog of missions to get through given the delays caused by the Asgard taking a lot of the SGC's supplies – the mission to P9X391 had actually been originally slated for SG8. But Jack was pleased Hammond had decided not to recall him with the revelation Jonas hadn't just needed some time off but actually had seen something.

Jack felt a twinge of guilt. It wasn't the first time one of them had seen something and they'd all ignored it in favour of a more rational explanation but it didn't make it right. He shrugged the feeling away. Jonas would get over it and the kid had to feel vindicated given what had happened.

He picked up his coffee and blew on it again before taking another gulp, wincing as the hot liquid burned his tongue and the roof of his mouth. He welcomed the warmth and put the mug down again. Damn, but it was cold. He glanced around the pond; there was a faint mist over the water; an edge of frost on the ground. The silence was peaceful, absent of anything but nature; the calls of the birds, the rustling branches and grass.

Jack ignored the touch of loneliness that skated over his heart. His mind unwillingly went back to when he'd left the SGC – Carter's face as she'd accused him of only inviting her when he knew she was already committed to doing something else. She'd looked...hurt despite his efforts to make light of it all.

It was for the best, Jack reminded himself, although he wasn't entirely certain why he had invited her fishing at all especially since his previous fishing invites hadn't been extended just simply out of friendship unlike his offers to Daniel and Teal'c, and they'd both known that.

He sighed.

He wasn't up to a detailed analysis of his motivations, although he suspected wanting to torture himself with what ifs might have been part of it, a half-formed thought that he _had_ made the same offer to Teal'c so it wasn't exactly completely inappropriate, along with a distinct lack of thought about what Carter would make of it. It occurred to him that she could think that he hadn't wanted her to go fishing with him at all especially as she had been right that he'd only invited her because he had been confident that she'd say no.

Jack shook the thought away. At the end of the day, it didn't matter – couldn't matter. He couldn't call her and explain because that would mean acknowledging the past feelings between them. It was for the best if she believed he didn't want her.

He set the whole sorry mess of his feelings for Carter aside and focused on the fishing rod. He sent the line back across the water. He had two weeks of peace, quiet and relaxation and he intended to enjoy every minute. From everything Hammond had said and not said the day before, the SGC was going to be battling on the political front for the next few months. He scowled. He really should have just shot Kinsey when he'd had the chance, Jack mused darkly. He sighed and reached for his coffee. Peace, quiet, relaxation. Everything else could wait.


	37. Tricky Situations

**Author's Note: **Sam/Jack UST. Jonas & Teal'c friendship.

**Smoke and Mirrors Recap:** _Jack returns from vacation to the news that Senator Kinsey has been shot by an assassin in Washington. He is stunned but more stunned when General Hammond arrives with security forces who arrest him on suspicion of the Senator's murder. Davis shows them a video tape clearly showing Jack leaving the building forensics traced the shot to; added to that a witness saw Jack disposing of a gun in Minnesota which has been retrieved and verified as the weapon used. The evidence seems overwhelming but SG1 do not believe it's true. Neither does Hammond and he orders Sam, Jonas and Teal'c to get to the bottom of it._

_Jonas and Teal'c visit with Jack who is not pleased to be in a military prison awaiting his handover to the civilian authorities. He claims he wasn't on a secret mission; he was fishing. Teal'c notes that whoever did it knew to act at a time when Jack had no alibi. Sam has checked the video tape and found no evidence of tampering. SG1 realise that the mimic devices used in a previous foothold situation may be responsible. Sam goes to Area 51 and realises the devices have been switched to fakes. She and Jonas visit with Jack and inform him of the latest developments._

_Sam notes to Jonas that there are only a few people the devices can mimic, and she and Teal'c were never duplicated. She sets Teal'c and Jonas the task of investigating the personnel involved with studying the devices while she goes to Washington. She visits NID Agent Malcolm Barrett who tells her nothing verbally but hands her a note requesting a meeting. When she meets him, Barrett notes that the NID does have internal issues and Kinsey was helping Barrett – under duress. Meanwhile, Jonas and Teal'c have a suspect: a Doctor Langham whose death apparently was faked in a car crash. They are able to use the doctor's medical condition to track him down._

_Barrett takes Sam gun-shopping and they discover the assassin has met with the dealer. They find a gun the assassin rejected and Sam buys it to get fingerprints from it. She gives the disc to Barrett so he can check the fingerprints of the NID. He discovers that the assassin was a NID agent called Mark Devlin. They head to Devlin's house but it has been rigged and they barely get out before it blows up. Luckily, Jonas and Teal'c apprehend Doctor Langham andTeal'c gets him to talk by simply staring him down. _

_Sam and Barrett finally put all their cards on the table; she tells him about Langham and the mimic devices, he tells her Kinsey is alive. Sam works out that the assassin is going to make another attempt pretending to be Major Davis. They get to the hospital in time to prevent Devlin from killing Kinsey._

_Sam rigs a device to mimic Devlin and gets incriminating evidence from the businessmen who have masterminded the rogue NIDs activities; Barrett arrests them all. Meanwhile, Kinsey is released from hospital and attends a press conference where he announces that Jack's involvement as a suspect was part of a sting to bring down a conspiracy. An uncomfortable Jack is forced to attend and shake Kinsey's hand._

**Tricky Situations**

There were many distasteful things Jack O'Neill had done in the performance of his duty and shaking Robert Kinsey's hand ranked among the most distasteful. Jack didn't linger after the end of the press conference. He marched through to the back entrance where he'd been told a car waited to take him to the hotel. He had no desire to be in the gloating presence of Kinsey a moment longer than he had to. The whole thing had been a farce. He surged through the corridors with determined intent, the glower on his rugged face keeping anyone from approaching as he pushed open the back door with relief.

Jack slowed at the sight of the NID agent leaning against the car and his lips thinned. The suited figure was smart and perfectly groomed. His dark hair combed back; his thin face serious.

Malcolm Barrett.

Samantha Carter had credited the NID agent with providing them with a lot of help during the investigation to clear Jack's name and find out who had really shot Kinsey. Evidently she and the agent had spent a lot of time together and she had spoken of Barrett with warm respect. Jack wondered if that's all it was.

He wasn't jealous, Jack thought angrily. Carter could spend time with whomever she wanted; could date whomever she chose. She was single, free, unencumbered. She wasn't _his_. He had made sure she had no idea he was still in love with her and, even if he suspected something of her feelings for him had resurfaced during his recovery from his experience as a Tok'ra host and Ba'al play-toy, he could be wrong. And even if he wasn't, if she was moving on again from what she felt for him as she had done before, finding happiness elsewhere, then he was happy for her.

Right.

The thought did nothing to lighten his mood.

'Colonel.' Barrett straightened as Jack approached.

'Agent Barrett.' Jack greeted him stiffly.

Barrett gestured at the car. 'Major Carter was delayed at NID headquarters providing her statement. I offered to collect you.'

Jack raised an eyebrow, pulled his cover from his head and made for the passenger seat. Barrett got in and quickly started the car. He eased the vehicle into the Washington traffic.

'I wanted to thank you for today.' Barrett said in the tense silence. 'And to apologise for any inconvenience you've suffered.'

Jack raised an eyebrow. 'And by inconvenience I presume you're referring to my extended vacation in a military prison?'

Barrett blinked at his caustic tone. 'Nobody in the civilian authorities was aware of the mimic devices, Colonel, and neither was I. You can't deny it looked like you were guilty.'

He couldn't deny it even if it burned his gut. At least Carter had believed in him. And Teal'c and Jonas although they'd both had questions.

'He wasn't dead which you knew.' Jack pointed out. 'And letting Kinsey get away with treason.' He snapped at Barrett. 'You going to apologise for that too?'

'It's a necessary evil.' Barrett said evenly. 'Kinsey was a bit player. We secured the men behind the operation.'

'You mean Carter secured the men behind the operation.' Jack corrected. Carter had told him about the mission to infiltrate the rogue NID. She had pretended to be Devlin using one of the manmade mimic devices. She'd led the four businessmen and one high ranking agent who led the rogue group into incriminating themselves. It had been risky but she had been determined to do it and had succeeded. Jack felt his anger start to give way to pride in Carter's courage.

'Major Carter has been invaluable.' Barrett admitted.

Jack's eyes narrowed at the admiration in Barrett's voice. It looked like Carter had won another fan. Not that he was surprised. Carter was a beautiful, intelligent, sassy woman with a compassionate heart and a good soul. Who wouldn't fall in love with her? Clearly not Barrett. Jack sighed inwardly.

'You're a lucky man.' Barrett continued. 'To have her as part of your team.' He glanced across at Jack.

Jack examined Barrett's sincere expression and nodded briskly. 'She's the best.' And he was lucky; lucky to have her as a friend, as a team-mate, as part of his life – even if they couldn't be more.

'You two have served together for over five years, right.' Barrett commented. 'I understand that's quite unusual.'

Jack shrugged. 'It's an unusual job.' His clipped tone gave away his reluctance to talk about her, about their mission.

Barrett nodded in reply and fell silent. He reached over and switched the radio on. 'Do you mind?'

Jack shook his head. The radio would fill the silence and preclude talking. He didn't feel the urge to speak. He let himself sink further into the seat cushions. He was tired. The military prison he'd been held in pending transfer to the civilian authorities was still a prison and he hadn't slept well during his incarceration. He'd woken with nightmares – Iraq, Ba'al...everything had been mixed up and thrown together. Then there was the relentless institutional tedium of exercise breaks, meals, interaction with other prisoners. Jack had kept to himself but he hadn't won any friends that way. He was fairly certain that had he stayed he would have been targeted at some point. The only thing that had kept him going was the knowledge that his team were working to get him released.

He pushed away the thoughts. He wasn't a prisoner any longer and as soon as the civilian authorities had been informed by NID of the cover story – his involvement being part of a sting operation – he had been released. Unfortunately, Kinsey had apparently woken from his coma amid the excitement of the second assassination attempt by Devlin. Jack would have preferred it if the politician had stayed unconscious as Kinsey's recovery had meant the press conference which had been hastily scheduled. Jack had spent the night on a transport to Washington, had spent the better part of the day being shuffled from the White House to the Pentagon for meetings with various Important People before being delivered to the hospital for the press conference. As though the cosmos had picked up on his thoughts, he suddenly caught his name on the radio.

'_Senator Kinsey thanked Colonel O'Neill for his part in the operation the details of which have not been disclosed for security reasons. The Colonel was present at today's press conference. In other news...'_

Jack made a small sound of disgust.

'It was the easiest way of publicly clearing your name.' Barrett said mildly.

Jack glared at him, stung by the faint hint that the press circus had been for his benefit. 'Let's get one thing straight: I only participated in the dog and pony show back there because I was following a direct order.'

'The Air Force's reputation along with your own was smeared when you were accused and arrested, Colonel,' Barrett pointed out, 'the President was keen to undo the damage.'

Jack grimaced. He'd originally heard the arguments why he'd had to stand beside Kinsey from Hammond...

'_No, absolutely not.' Jack stated firmly. He wasn't taking part in some public grandstanding with Kinsey; no way. _

_He had just been officially released and was back in uniform. He had been told to report to the warden's office and had half-expected to see his team there to pick him up. Hammond had been a surprise visitor and when he'd learned why it had been Hammond, he hadn't been pleased._

'_I'm sorry, Colonel, but the President is ordering you to take part in the press conference.' Hammond looked apologetically at him._

'_I've spent the last week in prison accused of something I didn't do,' Jack pointed out brusquely, 'and now I'm expected to stand beside that lying piece of slime and make nice?'_

'_The President is aware of the injustice you've suffered, Colonel, and he believes this will help to clear your name.'_

'_I'm not bothered about my name.' Jack said._

'_There's also the matter of how your arrest, wrongful as it was, has damaged the reputation of the Air Force.' Hammond stated firmly. 'The quickest way to undo that damage is good publicity. This press conference with Kinsey affords us the chance of doing that with minimal effort.'_

'_I think I prefer prison.' Jack bit out._

_Hammond sighed. 'Jack, if it were up to me I wouldn't ask you to do this. I agree that asking you to share a stage with Kinsey is tantamount to rubbing salt in the wound here. But it's not up to me; it's an order from your commander-in-chief, and one supported by the Air Force Chief of Staff. You don't have to like it, you just have to do it, and believe me when I say the SGC could do with the good will your agreement and participation will give us in return.'_

Politics, Jack thought disgustedly. In the end he had acquiesced because of politics; because the SGC needed the brownie points. And it had worked if his meetings with the President and the Joint Chiefs had been anything to go by. All had thanked him profusely for taking part in the press conference; he'd been thanked less for saving the world.

'You're really not bothered if people continue to think you're an assassin?' Barrett said with a hint of disbelief.

Jack didn't bother to reply. The truth was that he was an assassin – had been in the past even if it had been under orders. And he firmly believed Kinsey could have made the same statement outlining the cover story without him standing next to the Senator like the latest fashion accessory.

The car pulled up in front of the hotel and Jack suppressed the sigh of relief as he caught sight of Carter on the steps waiting for them. She was in uniform just as he was, her blonde hair hidden by her cover and her body covered by the standard issue blues. She looked stunning. She smiled brightly at him, pleased to see him. Her attention was on him as he exited the car and he was inwardly delighted that she ignored Barrett except to give him a brief nod of acknowledgement.

'Sir.' Sam said. 'It's good to see you.'

'Good to be seen, Carter.' Jack replied lightly, his mood lifting. 'And, hey, good job on the sting. I heard you got them all.'

She beamed at him and he smiled back at her, some of his tiredness dissipating.

'Speaking of which I should get back to the NID.' Barrett said, interrupting the moment.

Sam turned to the agent. 'Thanks for the backup and the help.'

'Thank you.' Barrett said formally. He held onto her hand. 'I hope we get the chance to work together again.'

Sam nodded briskly and pulled her hand back.

Barrett turned to Jack. 'Colonel.'

'Barrett.' Jack waved at him. 'Thanks for the ride and for the, uh, help.'

Barrett gave a half-smile. His eyes drifted back to Sam but he turned and made for his car. They watched him leave before Jack jerked a thumb at the hotel and Sam nodded in agreement.

'Your bags were delivered earlier, sir.' Sam informed him. 'I took the liberty of getting you checked in.' She reached into her purse and handed him a card.

'Thanks.' Jack took it from her as they crossed the marble lobby to the elevators.

'You're just down the hall from me.' Sam explained. 'I'm in 201; you're in 205.'

Jack nodded.

'We're scheduled to fly back to Colorado from Andrews tomorrow.' Sam informed him. 'There'll be a car here for us at oh-six-hundred.'

The elevator doors slid open and they stepped into the empty compartment.

Jack checked his watch. It was early. The press conference had been scheduled so it could hit the evening news. He glanced at Carter and wondered if he should invite her to dinner. They both had to eat. It could be deemed inappropriate the two of them dining alone together if they were on personal time, Jack mused, but there was nothing wrong with two colleagues who happened to be stuck in the same location having a meal together; they did it all the time at the SGC.

'We should probably get an early dinner, Carter.' Jack said, framing it as though there was no question about them eating together. 'Meet you in the lobby in thirty minutes?'

Sam's eyes widened with surprise and it suddenly occurred to Jack that despite the professional goodbye to Barrett in front of him, they may have made arrangements to meet later.

'Unless you have plans?' He added quickly.

'No.'

The word rushed out with a haste that inwardly had him cheering. No plans. No hot date with Barrett.

'I mean,' Sam hurried on, 'I just didn't know if you'd want company after today.'

He hadn't. Sitting in the car on the way back he'd been looking forward to a beer and a shower, room service and watching something mindless on TV. He shrugged and gave her the same reason he'd come up with the idea in the first place. 'We need to eat, right?'

'Right, sir.' Sam gestured at her door. 'This is me. I'll see you in the lobby.'

Jack wandered up to his door and unlocked it. He stepped inside the room and took a brief inventory; bed, bedside tables, wardrobe, desk, chair. The room was a standard layout. He spotted a duffle and a dress bag lying on the end of the bed.

The dress bag contained his spare uniform and he was pleased that he would have something clean to travel in the following day. He hung it up in the wardrobe and turned to the duffle. He unpacked jeans, a t-shirt and shirt, recognising them as his own clothing, and vaguely recalling Hammond had told him Teal'c had packed his things for him. He picked up the toiletries bag and checked everything was present before he strode into the en-suite shower room.

He stripped and stepped under the hot spray with a sigh. For a long moment he let the water cascade over him before he picked up the mini bottle of hotel shampoo and squirted the contents into the palm of his hand. He washed his hair briskly and turned his attention to his body. It felt good to be clean. He grimaced. The travelling and the endless meetings had made him feel icky but shaking Kinsey's hand had left him feeling dirty. He turned the shower off and got out. He brushed his teeth and shaved quickly at the sink. He ran his hand over his jaw and grimaced at the bristles that he hadn't caught but eschewed redoing it.

It wasn't a date, Jack reminded himself grimly. It was two colleagues having dinner together. That was it. Nothing more.

He dressed quickly, resolutely not paying attention to his appearance than he would if he was going out for a meal with Teal'c. He slipped his wallet into the inside pocket of his jacket, checked his watch and left the room. He smiled as Sam's door opened and she stepped out. Perfect timing, he thought.

She'd changed into jeans, a pale pink sweater and a denim jacket. She looked gorgeous and he let himself look over her appreciatively while her attention was taken up with checking her door was locked.

'Ready, Carter?' Jack asked briskly.

'Ready, sir.'

If she was disappointed that he didn't comment on how she looked she hid it well. She gave him a sunny smile and fell into step beside him as they made for the elevators.

'I don't know if you had somewhere in mind, sir,' Sam began as they began the descent down to the lobby.

'Nowhere.' Jack admitted. 'You?'

'There's a good steakhouse not too far from here.' Sam said. 'It's not fancy...'

'Neither am I.' Jack quipped. 'Steak is good.'

The place was in walking distance. It wasn't a particularly cold evening and Jack enjoyed the feel of the breeze against his skin. It felt good to be outside after days of being locked in a cell. They walked in silence but it was comfortable, familiar. He inched closer to her as the crowds got bigger and she inched closer to him. They didn't touch but their strides matched, their arms brushed each other occasionally with a casual intimacy; their bodies signalling they were together in a way that had others diverting around them.

The place was as devoid of frills and pretensions as Sam had promised. Jack felt the tension roll off his shoulders the minute he entered. The tables were solid wood, scarred and worn but clean; the leather booths in good condition but clearly aged. They were shown to a booth away from the window towards the back and Jack slid into his seat with an appreciative sigh. He shrugged out of his jacket and watched as Sam did the same.

'Good choice.' He commented as he scanned the menu quickly and flipped it shut again. He figured he'd go for steak and fries.

Sam smiled. 'Glad you like it, sir.'

If it was anyone else he'd have told her to drop the sir. They were ostensibly off-duty. Other team leaders didn't keep the same formality – and neither had he; not until he'd fallen in love with an officer under his command and she'd fallen in love with him. If Sam was moving on, if she believed he had already moved on, maybe there was nothing wrong with a little informality...or maybe not. Maybe he still needed the semblance of distance; the reminder that their working relationship came first.

He cleared his throat. 'So, your old stomping grounds I presume?'

She lifted and dropped one shoulder in a cute little half-shrug. 'When I was stationed at the Pentagon, my Dad used to bring me here sometimes when he visited me.'

'Dad has good taste.' Jack remarked.

The waitress stepped up. 'Can I take your order?'

Jack indicated for Sam to order.

'Steak, please. Rare.' Sam closed her menu. 'With a baked potato and house salad.'

'Anything to drink?' The waitress asked.

'Beer, please.' Sam handed her the menu.

'Same for me.' Jack said, handing over his menu with a smile. 'But I'll have mine with fries.'

'Sure thing.' The waitress disappeared.

Jack gestured at Sam. 'So, I never got the chance to ask you what you and the guys got up to while I was in Minnesota.'

Sam filled him in on the two weeks he'd spent fishing in the wait for their meal and continued as they began eating. Her stories were heavily edited in case they were overheard but he heard the pride in her voice as she recounted the few SG1 missions that she had led while he'd been away and he let himself relax and enjoy her animation. He asked her questions; got her thinking about some of her strategic decisions; was pleased by her answers.

Sometimes, Jack mused as he sliced off another section of steak, he wondered if he and Hammond were doing the right thing keeping her on SG1 when it was clear Carter was ready for her own command. He recalled Barrett's observation on the time SG1 had served together; it was unusual to be assigned to the same team for over five years.

Carter had a couple of years as a Major under her belt; her field experience was second to none; her fitness and performance reps among the highest in the SGC. In some ways, keeping her on SG1 might be detrimental to her development and career prospects. He took a gulp of beer. On the other hand, Carter had the best scientific mind in the SGC – if not on the planet – and as her CO he believed she was too valuable to the team to lose. Hammond wouldn't allow it either for the same reason. The General firmly believed in SG1 retaining its unique mix of skills and experience.

Still, Daniel's departure and Jonas's inclusion had shown that skills could be replaced – not entirely, not completely, but certainly to an acceptable level. Jonas was making a good contribution and he'd built good relationships with Teal'c and Carter. Jack couldn't help but notice that somehow between his leaving for Minnesota and his return, the hint of reservation in Carter's voice when she spoke of Jonas had disappeared; there was no more doubt or hesitation. It wasn't the close bond she had shared with Daniel but there was respect and some sisterly fondness, Jack realised.

He picked up his beer again. 'Sounds like Jonas is settling into the team nicely.'

'He is, sir.' Sam replied confidently, confirming Jack's thoughts about her view of their newest team-mate. 'He's definitely making a good contribution.' Her gaze darted to his questioningly. 'Don't you think so?'

Jack nodded. He caught the flicker of _something_ that drifted across Carter's delicate features before she could hide it. 'What?'

She gave a small smile and shook her head. 'It's nothing.'

'And yet it's clearly something.' Jack pointed out, half wanting to let it go and half curious to know what was bothering her.

Sam hesitated and picked up her own beer, taking a healthy gulp of Dutch courage before she set it down again. 'I do feel like Jonas is part of the team now but...' she looked away from him to her plate, pushing a lonely piece of salad leaf through a pool of dressing.

'But?' He asked gently.

'Admitting that out loud makes me feel like I've given up on Daniel coming back.' Sam admitted quietly.

'Ah.' Jack had no idea what to say to her. He knew she had hoped that because Daniel had Ascended rather than died, that he would miss them and return to his mortal form. Jack hadn't been so hopeful but then Jack had been the one Daniel had asked to stop treatment so he could Ascend. He'd been given the opportunity to say goodbye to Daniel in a way Sam hadn't.

'Sorry, sir.' Sam gestured at him regretfully. 'I shouldn't have mentioned it.'

'It's OK, Carter.' Jack cut in. He'd pushed her away in the immediate aftermath of Daniel's death and while they had repaired that hurt, he was determined not to do it again. 'For what it's worth, I don't think admitting out loud that you feel Jonas is part of the team means you've given up on Daniel coming back.'

'You don't?' Sam asked, looking at him.

'No.' Jack said firmly. 'I think it just means that you feel Jonas is part of the team.'

Sam smiled. Her expression lightened and he felt a rush of satisfaction that he had been the one to do that; to ease her grief. Their eyes held and Jack felt a frisson of panic race along his spine.

'Finished?' The waitress thankfully interrupted them and they briskly ordered dessert and a second beer each. Jack steered the conversation back to work and the X303. He loved seeing her lit up with enthusiasm; her face alive with passion and intelligence.

'I still don't know why they won't let me call it the Enterprise.' Jack complained as he dug into his chocolate sundae.

Sam smiled. 'Teal'c suggested the Millenium Falcon.'

'I'm shocked.' Jack muttered making her laugh. They were both only too aware of the Jaffa's fascination with Star Wars.

A throat being cleared beside them had them both looking around in surprise. An elderly couple stood there, smiling nervously. The old man was hunched over, covered in liver spots and had only a wisp of white hair on his head. He was dressed in pants that seemed hitched up to just below his armpits and a thin shirt. A cream coloured polyester jacket covered him. He kind of reminded Jack of Ernest Littlefield or an older version of the barber he sometimes dreamed about. The woman was younger but not by much; dumpy in the way that suggested she had long ago given up worrying about everything going South. She was dressed in a wild floral print and had a matching cream coloured polyester jacket. Her face was hidden behind blue oversize glasses that made her glassy eyes huge.

'I'm sorry, son, but Hester thinks you're the Colonel who shot the Senator only didn't.' The man said, his expression apologising for what he clearly believed was a waste of time and unwarranted interruption.

'He is, Bill. Look! It's him.' Hester smiled at him. 'It's you, isn't it?'

Jack looked at Carter desperately unsure what the hell he did. There had been nothing in his briefings with the Very Important People to cover being recognised in public.

Sam pinned a smile on her face. 'I told you that you looked just like him.'

'Right.' Jack said, taking her lead. Deny everything: good plan.

'But...' Hester's eyes narrowed on him behind her oversize glasses. 'I could have sworn it was you. You have the same nose, I'm sure of it.'

'Sorry, ma'am.' Jack replied politely.

'Come on, Hester.' Bill propelled his wife away from the table.

'But, Bill,' she protested.

'I don't know why you wanted to meet that Colonel fellow anyway. He didn't actually shoot the guy, more's the pity.' Jack overheard Bill whisper as they left.

Jack's eyes darted back to Sam's. The look of incredulity on her face probably matched his own, he thought as he grinned at her as she began giggling.

'Did I tell you about when I took Teal'c and Jonas out for pizza?'

He shook his head and listened as she regaled him with the anecdote of her night out with the rest of SG1. He pushed his empty dish away as she neared the end of the story and raised his eyebrows as she informed him of Jonas's decision to begin dating.

Her eyes were mischievous. 'He's doing research into Earth courting rituals.'

Jack almost choked on the last of his beer. 'That's so...' he tried to think of a suitable description, 'Jonas.' He finished.

Sam chuckled again – no doubt at his perturbed expression. And he was perturbed – not only at the thought of the Kelownan dating, because he really didn't want Jonas distracted, but mainly because the whole subject of dating was straying too close to the topic that he and Carter always avoided. He was saved from having to say anything more by the waitress. He requested the bill and stopped Carter as she went to pull out her wallet.

'I've got this.' Jack said.

Carter frowned. 'Sir...'

'Expenses, Carter.' Jack pointed out and she subsided. It wasn't a date; he wasn't treating her. Of course the likelihood of him actually claiming the meal back was fairly remote but she didn't know that.

They stepped out of the restaurant and into the fading evening light. Jack drank in a deep breath of air. He looked at Carter, reluctant to let the evening end. 'Walk?'

'Sure.' Sam agreed. 'I could do with walking off the ice-cream.'

They set out at a slow pace, happy to amble along without a direction in mind. Eventually, they found themselves wandering into Constitution Gardens as the sun set. They merged along with the other tourists, taking in the sights; happy to soak in the atmosphere.

Eventually, without discussion, they halted by the Wall commemorating the Vietnam Veterans. Jack's eyes scanned the names until he found the one he was looking for; _James O'Neill_.

Jack breathed in deeply. He rarely thought of Jimmy. There had been years between him and his brother, enough years that they hadn't been close. Jimmy had been gone by the time Jack was twelve, he had signed up for the military as soon as he'd graduated high school. Jack had vague memories of thinking his older brother was cool...then as Jack had hit his teens Jimmy with his military haircut and adherence to duty had been not cool...and then he'd been gone. His mother had never recovered from the loss; had hated it when Jack had been accepted into the Academy.

Beside him, Sam shivered as the evening air shifted temperature and washed over them coldly. If it had been a date he might have put his arm around her; might have tucked her up close to him; might have been tempted to talk about Jimmy and how he'd half-signed up to honour the memory of his brother. How sometimes he'd seen glimpses of Jimmy in Daniel; how much he missed them both.

But it wasn't a date.

'We should get back.' Jack said, keeping his regret and disappointment out of his voice.

She nodded her agreement and they turned to retrace their steps. They were silent on the walk back, both lost in their own thoughts. The sky was completely dark by the time they entered the hotel. Jack stopped briefly as Sam unlocked her door. If it had been a date, he considered sadly, they would have been kissing already, hands fumbling to find the key card and get inside where the fumbling would be altogether different...

'Goodnight, sir.' Sam said quietly.

''Night, Carter.' Jack watched as she stepped inside and shut the door. He reached over briefly but stopped short of the wood. He dropped his arm abruptly as though he suddenly realised what he was doing and spun around to enter his own room.

He didn't bother with a light. He made for the bathroom, dealt with his night time routine before he stripped and crawled into bed. He lay awake in the darkness despite the tiredness that weighed down every limb.

o-O-o

Teal'c rested his Staff weapon on the floor of the SGC as he came to a halt in front of the commander of the SGC. 'It is done, General Hammond.' His mission to deliver Doctor Langham to the Alpha site was complete. He was unhappy at the idea of allowing the scientist to go there but it had been part of the deal that they had made for information regarding the mimic devices and the rogue NID operation. He had been assured by Colonel Riley's greeting of Langham that the scientist would be treated appropriately as a prisoner during his tenure at the Alpha site.

'Thank you, Teal'c.' Hammond said.

'Have you heard from Major Carter or Colonel O'Neill?' Teal'c asked as they began walking from the gate room.

'They left Andrews on schedule this morning.' Hammond confirmed. He paused beside the doorway to the control room. 'Have you and Bra'tac determined a date for the meeting you plan with the Free Jaffa?'

Teal'c inclined his head. 'It will take many weeks to arrange.' Although many Free Jaffa had chosen to camp with those he led, there were many who remained secreted away in the rest of the galaxy.

'Keep me appraised, Teal'c.' Hammond requested. 'And if you need any assistance...'

'Thank you, General Hammond.' Teal'c said gratefully.

They parted and Teal'c handed over his weapon and headed for the infirmary for his post mission check. The General's offer was appreciated but it was one they would refuse because the Jaffa needed to do meet alone if they were ever going to stand beside the Tau'ri as equal partners. Bra'tac had been keen to assemble as many of the Free Jaffa as they could for months to discuss strategy and plans. Teal'c had agreed but quietly asserted the timing was not right. Primarily because he could not see how he could spend time away from SG1 while they were grieving for the loss of Daniel Jackson.

That had changed though. Both his team-mates continued to miss their former team-mate, as did Teal'c, but the raw hurt and loss had eased into the gentler ache of absence and memory. Moreover, he believed that with Jonas Quinn much more settled into the team, his own occasional absence would not be missed. The logistics of the Jaffa meeting, the details of the preparations he and Bra'tac would need to embark upon filled his head as Teal'c completed his checks, showered and changed before going in search of Jonas.

The Kelownan had taken up residence in Daniel Jackson's old office and Teal'c found him there with Nyan, the Bedrosian archaeologist who had joined the programme in their third year of exploration. The two were huddled over an ancient scroll.

Teal'c stood just inside the doorway and waited for them to notice him. He smiled as he observed their complete fascination with the unusual language, the way that they exchanged theories. He eventually cleared his throat.

'Teal'c!' Nyan smiled happily.

'How'd it go at the Alpha site?' Jonas asked, straightening.

'I delivered Doctor Langham as ordered.' Teal'c replied.

'I heard about your interrogation.' Nyan said. 'It sounds impressive.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

'It was very impressive.' Jonas said. 'He didn't even have to say anything.' He looked at the Jaffa with a wide grin. 'You have to teach me how to do that.'

'You can learn everything you wish to know from watching Star Wars.' Teal'c said firmly.

'You used the Force?' Nyan said excitedly. 'Jedi mind tricks?'

Jonas looked at him sceptically. 'You're kidding, right?'

Teal'c remained silent.

'He's kidding.' Jonas said to Nyan. He looked back at Teal'c. 'Kidding, right?'

Teal'c simply allowed a small smile of satisfaction to cross his lips.

o-O-o

Daniel watched as Herak, Anubis's First Prime, ordered the door to the sacred temple of Hathor blown up. He stayed hidden in the gathered, frightened populace, wrapped as they were in robes similar to those he had worn on Abydos.

Herak had evidently been rewarded for killing the Tok'ra Khonsu, Daniel mused, even though he had failed to hold onto SG1. He bent his head quickly to hide his face as a Jaffa approached. He raised it again just in time to see the blast.

The thick wooden door splintered outward and there was a cry as the people at the front of the crowd ducked. Daniel brushed his mind over the sharp shards blunting them and making them harmless. The only injuries would be a few bruises.

What did Anubis want, Daniel wondered. What was so important that he had sent his most important Jaffa to such a backwater planet?

Herak entered the temple and Daniel eased away from the crowd and shifted back onto the Ascended plane. A mere thought later he transferred his presence to the stuffy, dusty hall within the temple. A giant statue of Hathor looked down from a pedestal. He shuddered. He really didn't need a seven foot reminder of the Goa'uld Queen.

'Find it!' Herak shouted as the Jaffa streamed through the open door.

Find what, Daniel mused. He kept himself hidden from view as the Jaffa searched around him, tearing down walls and overturning monuments.

'Master Herak!' A young Jaffa called out suddenly. He raised up the box he had unearthed.

Herak strode across and opened it, struggling momentarily with the lock. Daniel moved closer, grateful for the cloak of invisibility that Ascension had given him. His eyes widened at the circle of gold inset with an amber crystal. It reminded him of the Eye of Tiamat that the Russian team had tried to recover.

'We have found it!' Herak said with satisfaction. 'Our Lord Anubis will be pleased.' He took the box from the young Jaffa and marched out leaving a devastated temple in his wake.

'Fascinating, isn't it?' The elegant clipped tones of Morgan Le Fey commented behind him.

Daniel turned to greet her with a smile. 'Morgan.'

'Doctor Jackson.' Morgan said formally. She was perched on top of a high bookcase, dressed as always in a modest white dress, her legs crossed primly.

'Do you know what that was?'

'Do you?' countered Morgan.

'It looked like an Eye.' Daniel said. He shifted through space again, traversing the distance between them to sit beside her on the bookcase.

'The Eye of Hathor.' Morgan agreed. 'There were many Eyes created to power the weapon.'

Daniel's eyes widened. 'What weapon?'

'An Ancient weapon.' Morgan replied. 'One capable of destroying all life on a single planet.'

'And these Eyes power it?' Daniel frowned as the frightened inhabitants of the planet slowly began entering the temple. They couldn't see him or Morgan and he watched as they cried over the destruction Anubis's Jaffa had left. 'Anubis knows must know where the weapon is or...'

'He knows how to build it again.' Morgan supplied. 'He'll need six Eyes and they were distributed among the Goa'uld as ornaments. He has only one.'

'But he's going after more.' Daniel concluded. The people slowed filed out, weeping and whispering that the Goddess would surely destroy them with the ruin of her temple.

'There are only five more left.' Morgan said. 'His search has only just begun.'

Daniel sighed, frustrated. He couldn't share his knowledge of Anubis's movements with Earth; couldn't forewarn them. He had been unable to step in and stop the Jaffa from harassing the people in the crowd, unable to stop them finding the Eye. He turned to Morgan. 'How do you know all this?'

Morgan looked at him. 'That's not really the important question.'

'What is?' Daniel asked.

She smiled enigmatically. 'How does _Anubis _know all this?'

She disappeared in a gentle swirl of light, leaving Daniel alone in the destroyed temple and her question echoing in his mind.


	38. Found Again

**Author's Note: **Sam/Jack UST. Sam & Teal'c friendship. Jack & Teal'c friendship.

**Paradise Lost Recap:** _Harry Maybourne turns up at Jack's and offers a deal: he'll tell the SGC where to find the cache of weapons Simmons stole the Prometheus to reach if he gets a Presidential pardon and a trip through the gate. He gives Jack the planet's address but tells him that he holds the key to the door. Jack and SG1 check out the planet and find an archway with the writing of the Furling. They realise they can't operate the technology and Jack returns to get Maybourne. _

_Although Maybourne gives them the key, he also tells them that there is a combination only he knows in order to secure his trip through the gate. When they arrive at the planet, Jack and Maybourne meet up with Sam. They head to the arch and Maybourne tries the key and combination. It doesn't work and Sam heads to take a look. As she does so, Jack looks away for a second Maybourne uses the opportunity to grab Sam's weapon. He zats her at close range before zatting Jack, and turning the key one final time to initiate the transporter between the archway. He grabs the key but as he is about to go through, Jack rouses and makes a grab for him. Sam wakes briefly to see the two of them disappear before falling unconscious again._

_Jack and Maybourne end up in a remote location. Maybourne admits he knew there was nothing there but a settlement, a kind of Eden, where he plans to spend his retirement. However when they get there, they find it deserted with dead bodies littering the area. Jack does a recon and realising there is no gate in the immediate vicinity realises they have to wait for a rescue. _

_Meanwhile, Sam clashes with Doctor Lee as the SGC scientists are sent in to help find where the transporter sent Jack. She goes back briefly to the SGC herself to request for the Tok'ra to be sent a message to help and apologises to Hammond for allowing her weapon to be taken. When she returns she finds the scientists packing up and argues with Lee, telling him defiantly that she will decide when they're finished. However, Lee states he's handing in his report to Hammond. _

_Back at the settlement, Jack adjusts but Maybourne becomes more and more paranoid. Jack hides his P90 only for Maybourne to steal it. Eventually Jack reads the pictograph book left behind by the previous inhabitants and realises the herb like salad leaf they have been eating is bad. He goes after Maybourne and triggers a trap, ending up with an injured leg. He shoots at a pig but hits Maybourne. Maybourne comes after him and Jack has to shoot him again. _

_At the SGC, Sam tries to sell Hammond on the idea of a satellite to pinpoint Jack's location but they receive a message from the Tok'ra saying they have scanned the planet and found nothing. Teal'c finds Sam alone in the female locker room clearly upset. She tells him that she hasn't given up hope but she thinks Doctor Lee is right and breaks down as she admits the pain of losing Daniel and now potentially Jack too. Teal'c comforts her. Later as they watch the video from the planet again, Jonas brings photos of the key and Sam realises the transporter has sent Jack and Maybourne to the moon._

_Maybourne regains consciousness; he's badly injured but Jack tells him he can't die. Maybourne asks why not. A Tok'ra ship flies overhead and Jack notes dryly that they're getting rescued. _

**Found Again**

The rings of the Tok'ra cargo ship had barely deposited Jack O'Neill on the planet's surface when Teal'c stepped forward and hugged him. Jack felt the contained strength in the Jaffa's muscular arms as they encased him. He was really unsure where to put his hands – one of them held a rucksack; the other balanced the weapon attached to his tactical vest. He dropped the pack and tentatively patted Teal'c's back with his free hand.

'Hey, there, T.' Jack said slowly. The Jaffa wasn't usually given to showy displays of affection.

'You have been missed, O'Neill.' Teal'c's low voice rumbled in his ear. The Jaffa released him and stepped back.

'So I see.' Jack said. He brushed his dirty jacket and vest down as though to straighten them and tried hard not to stare at Samantha Carter, the team-mate who he wanted to hug him; the woman he had dreamed about hugging in the nights he had been stuck on the moon with Harry Maybourne.

Jonas Quinn looked from Teal'c to Jack and back with a small frown as though he couldn't quite believe what had occurred – Jack wasn't entirely sure he believed it himself. But Jonas gave a shrug and stepped up before Jack could stop him. Jonas hugged Jack briefly before moving back rapidly before any kind of response was required.

Jonas nodded briskly. 'Colonel.'

'Jonas.' Jack replied carefully. He finally shifted his eyes to Carter and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

She looked back at him uncertainly. He could guess what was running through her mind; protocol, regulations, feelings they never spoke about...they were running through his mind too but so was the thought that he'd hugged the others, that SG1 was alone on the planet and that he needed her.

He made the smallest gesture of a nod, giving permission.

For a millisecond Jack believed Carter was going to decline to give him a welcome back hug but she suddenly moved. She took the few steps between them and he wrapped his arms around her, pushing his gun to the side.

He closed his eyes and savoured the feel of her; the press of her body against his, her warmth, the clean orangey scent of her hair as it tickled his nose...he ducked his head as his hand cupped the back of her neck and breathed in Carter. Jack felt her tremble against him but before he could tighten his hold, she shifted, pulling back. He let her go reluctantly. He could have stayed the whole day just holding her.

She avoided looking at him as she waved at the departing Tok'ra ship. 'Colonel Maybourne, sir?'

'Not coming with us.' Jack confirmed.

'I'll dial us home then, sir.' Sam said.

Jack nodded. It would be good to get back to the SGC. He looked around the ruins, half-remembering the mission weeks before as he stooped to pick up his dropped pack.

Maybourne had claimed he had known where there was a cache of weapons. He'd bartered for a pardon and his place on an off-world mission to show them where it was. Jack had made a grievous error and forgotten the son-of-a-bitch couldn't be trusted at all. He'd been lulled into a false sense of security by Maybourne's previous acts of helping them, Jack thought, as he limped over to stand beside Carter.

His eyes ran over her; she looked great. Tired, maybe. But great. The last time he'd seen her she'd been sprawled unconscious on the ground after being zatted at point blank range by Maybourne. Jack could remember the terror of that moment – of seeing Maybourne shoot her...in truth, he'd gone after Maybourne less to stop him from getting away and more in a red haze of anger at him hurting Carter.

Jack realised he was staring at her and averted his gaze hurriedly. It was just good to be going home, Jack thought. He had barely believed the Tok'ra Jolen when he had explained that Jack and Maybourne had been transported to the moon of the planet. For once, Jack mused, the Tok'ra had actually come through for them – for him. Jolen been surprisingly helpful, he'd healed his leg; healed Maybourne. He had even agreed to take Maybourne somewhere suitable once he'd dropped Jack on the planet so he could 'gate home with the rest of SG1.

'Did you get the, uh, key to the transporter arch?' Jonas asked, breaking into Jack's thoughts.

'Yep.' Jack tossed his pack to the Kelownan who delved into the bag to bring out the bundle containing the control key.

Jonas unwrapped the egg-shaped device and held it up to the light. 'Amazing.'

'If you say so.' Jack watched the wormhole blossom out. All he wanted was a hot shower and a bed. His eyes drifted back to Carter. OK, so not all he wanted, but he needed to focus on what he could have, and Carter in the shower or in the bed was so not going to happen except in his dreams.

Carter finished sending the IDC. 'We're good to go, sir.'

Jack nodded, falling into step in between her and Teal'c as they headed into the wormhole. Jonas hurried after them, quickly stowing the key back into the bag.

The trip was disorienting and Jack stumbled on the other side. Teal'c righted him before he could fall and Jack shot him a grateful look.

General Hammond waited at the bottom of the ramp with a wide grin on his round face. 'Colonel.'

'General.' Jack looked around the familiar gate room.

'Good to have you back, Jack.' Hammond said warmly.

Jack offered a tired smile and refused to look at Carter. 'It's good to be home.'

'The weapons cache?' Hammond asked quickly, getting straight to the point.

'Nothing on the moon, sir.' Jack said succinctly. 'It seemed to be some kind of hippy retreat but it was abandoned a long time ago.'

'And where is Maybourne?' Hammond asked pointedly. He looked around as though to verify the former Colonel hadn't travelled back with them. 'He's no longer with you?'

Jack grimaced. 'Well, I may have shot him.'

Hammond's eyebrows shot up as the rest of SG1 turned to stare at him.

'You shot him?' Jonas sounded incredulous.

'We were both eating this plant which messed with our heads.' Jack said. 'The Tok'ra healed us; I handed Maybourne over to their custody.'

'They demanded he be turned over to them for his former crimes against them I take it?' Hammond pressed, trying to understand what had happened.

'Yes.' Jack pointed at him. 'Let's go with that.'

Hammond's face took on a pained expression as he registered he didn't really want to know the truth.

Jack waved at Jonas. 'We did get the key back.'

Jonas opened the pack and handed the wrapped key to the General who took it with a grimace.

'I'm sure it's going to be a fascinating debriefing.' Hammond's eyes scanned Jack's wan face. 'Which can wait until tomorrow. Report to the infirmary, Colonel. Get yourself checked out.'

'Yes, sir.' Jack gave an inward cheer.

Hammond turned from him to Carter. 'I need to see you in my office a moment, Major.'

Carter glanced at Jack apologetically but she nodded at Hammond. 'Sir.'

He watched as she followed the General out of the gate room. Jack followed Teal'c and Jonas down the corridor to the infirmary. He rested against the back of the elevator tiredly. Jonas looked over at him with a curious expression.

'What?' Jack asked brusquely.

'You really shot him?' Jonas asked.

Jack shrugged. 'I thought he was a pig.'

Jonas frowned. 'So because you didn't like him, you shot him?'

'No,' Jack corrected as they stepped out of the elevator, 'I mean, I literally thought he was a pig.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. 'I can understand why you would mistake Colonel Maybourne for such an animal.'

'I was hallucinating.' Jack said loudly, looking over his shoulder at the Jaffa as they entered the treatment room.

'Well, that fills me with confidence.' Janet Fraiser's wry voice startled Jack into an abrupt halt in the doorway.

_D'oh._ He looked at her chagrined. He hadn't exactly been intending to tell the doc anything about the plant.

Janet smiled as though she'd read his mind. 'You're with me, Colonel. Jonas, Teal'c; the nurses will see to your post mission checks.'

Jack sighed as the diminutive CMO led him into a private room.

'So, you were hallucinating?' Janet asked as she began examining him. He filled her on the plant, the hallucinations, the shrapnel wound as he suffered through the battery of tests.

'From what you've told me, the drug probably has worked its way out of your system.' Janet noted as she scribbled on her clipboard. 'But we'll double check your blood work just to be sure. You need to put on some of the weight you lost back but build up your diet slowly; light, bland foods until you can tolerate more. You know the drill.'

He did and he fully intended to ignore it. He already had his pizza order in his head and he intended dialling it in as soon as he got home.

'Your leg wound has been healed but I'm going to prescribe some painkillers for the residual aches and you will need to rest it. Light duty only for the next week.'

Jack wasn't going to argue; after spending almost a month off-world roughing it, a week on Earth sounded like heaven. 'Are we done?'

'Yes, Colonel.' Janet stripped her gloves and smiled at him. 'Cassie will be pleased to hear you're back.'

'How is she?' Jack asked, slipping off the bed.

'Good. She aced her history test yesterday.' Janet commented proudly.

'Excellent.' Jack gestured towards the door. 'I should...'

'Shower.' Janet nodded in agreement.

Jack grimaced at her pointed look but accepted the observation. He'd bathed occasionally in the lake but he'd been wearing the same clothes for days. He probably stank. He was unsurprised to find that Jonas and Teal'c had been released before him and he wandered along to the locker room alone.

The room was filled with steam and faint musky odour that indicated men. Teal'c was in front of the large mirror, his lower half and Goa'uld pouch concealed by a large towel. Jack gave him a nod of acknowledgement and headed for his locker. He stripped, dumped his clothes in a laundry bag and stepped into a shower stall. Five seconds later, hot water cascaded over him.

He closed his eyes in bliss. He raised his head and rubbed the water over his face before he reached for the toiletries he'd collected. He washed slowly, enjoying the warmth and the clean smell of soap. It was a while before he stepped back out into the locker area. He slowed at the sight of Teal'c; he'd expected the Jaffa to have left.

'You didn't have to wait, Teal'c.' Jack said, touched and surprised at the gesture.

'As I said, you were missed, O'Neill.' Teal'c replied. The Jaffa sat on a bench in front of his own locker; redressed in a green set of BDU pants and black t-shirt. He kept his eyes forward, allowing Jack some privacy as he dressed.

Jack reached for his civilian gear. He fully intended to go home and sleep in his own bed. He glanced over at Teal'c, frowning. The Jaffa was usually the most undemonstrative amongst the team. It wasn't that Teal'c didn't care – he did, deeply – it was just that usually he kept it hidden. He wondered at the Jaffa's behaviour; the hug and the staying behind. He fastened his jeans, reached for his t-shirt and decided to take it at face value. 'We'll do a team night tomorrow; catch up.'

Teal'c tilted his head but didn't look at him. 'Major Carter did not cease in her efforts to find you.'

Jack paused in the act of pulling on his t-shirt. His eyes darted anxiously to his team-mate. Teal'c had once been witness to the confessions Jack and Carter had made about their feelings. They'd never really spoken about it. Not in the immediate aftermath; not in all the months that he and Carter had tried to move on. But then if they spoke about it, if any of SG1 spoke about it, it would mean having to deal with it openly, and deal with the repercussions.

Had Carter said something to the Jaffa in his absence? He slowly resumed dragging his t-shirt on. Or had Teal'c seen something that gave away how Carter felt? He swallowed hard and reached for his socks and boots.

'I knew you all wouldn't give up on me.' Jack said evenly, sitting down to pull his socks on. And he had. His previous experiences of being stranded on Edora, of being captured by Ba'al, had taught him that. The thought that his team would be looking for him had kept him sane during the weeks he had been gone. That, and wondering whether his Ascended friend, Daniel Jackson, would show up. Not that glowy Daniel could have helped him get home given the rules he seemed to have to abide by but God knew he would have been better company than Maybourne.

'Indeed.' Teal'c said. 'But it was Major Carter who realised where the transporter had sent you and who was responsible for your return.'

Jack stuffed his feet into boots and laced them. He wasn't surprised to hear it had been Carter who had come up with the save. He looked over at Teal'c relieved as he realised that the reason Teal'c had remained in the locker room was to make sure Jack knew about Carter's role in his rescue. 'I'll be sure to thank her.' He promised the Jaffa.

Teal'c rose and bowed slightly.

For a brief second, Jack thought the Jaffa was going to say something else and his heart jumped in painful anticipation, but Teal'c clasped his hands behind his back, his dark features settling back into their familiar impassivity.

'Do you require an escort to the surface, O'Neill?'

'I'm good, Teal'c.' Jack said.

Teal'c inclined his head; the light glancing off the dark skin. 'Then I will take my leave of you.'

'See you tomorrow.' Jack watched as his friend left before he got to his feet and pulled on his jacket. He debated whether he should go in search of Carter but decided it could wait until the next day. He'd missed her too much during the time he'd spent away and his own emotions were too close to the surface. Ironically, now he was home, it seemed he needed to get some distance. He closed his locker with a clang.

o-O-o

Sam slowed and came to a halt, her hands tightening around the bundle General Hammond had given her. The meeting in his office echoed through her head...

_Hammond looked up at her as he placed the wrapped Furling key on top of his desk. 'Firstly, congratulations on the safe return of Colonel O'Neill, Major. That was good work.'_

'_Thank you, sir.' Sam said neutrally._

_He sat down and regarded her with a frown. 'I know this last month has been difficult for you, Sam.'_

_Her heart sank at the use of her first name. _

'_I know you believed it was your fault that Maybourne acquired your weapon and was able to make an attempt to escape.' Hammond continued. He held up a hand when she would have spoken and she kept silent. 'We'll wait for Colonel O'Neill's report to make that determination. However, there is another matter I need to speak with you about.'_

_Sam looked at him blankly._

'_Your attitude towards Doctor Lee and the other scientists.' Hammond expanded. He tapped the report to his left. 'Doctor Lee states in his report that you were outright rude and hostile towards him; that you raised your voice and made unreasonable demands.'_

_Sam flushed; her whole face filled with heat._

'_Then you don't deny it.' Hammond stated as he watched her reaction._

'_No, sir.' Sam managed. 'As you say, I was upset about the situation but that's no excuse.'_

_Hammond sat back. 'I have to admit that you are the last military officer on this base who I would have thought needed to have my 'please be nice to the civilian scientists speech', Major.'_

'_It won't happen again, General.' Sam assured him. Her heart beat fiercely in her chest in anticipation of the reprimand she was certain was coming._

'_See that it doesn't.' Hammond said mildly. He handed her the key. 'Doctor Lee and his team will be returning to the planet with SG22 to study the arch tomorrow. Perhaps you can give this to him.'_

_He was offering her the opportunity to apologise, Sam realised. She took the key. 'Yes, sir.'_

'_That'll be all, Major.'_

'_Sir.' Sam nodded at the dismissal and left the office. She paused in the corridor outside and took a deep breath. She knew the General had been lenient with her. She made for the infirmary. She would talk with Bill Lee after her post mission check..._

Checked, showered and dressed, Sam knew she couldn't put the moment off any longer. She took a deep breath and took the few remaining steps forward to the scientist's lab. She knocked briefly on the wall outside before entering.

'Major.' Bill looked up from his work and frowned at her.

'Doctor.' Sam couldn't blame him for the wary look in his eyes. 'General Hammond asked that I bring you this.' She held out the bundle and watched as he took it and unwrapped it.

'Wow.' Bill's mouth dropped open as he examined it almost reverently. 'This is beautiful.'

'Yes.' Sam said. 'I understand that you're going back to examine the technology more thoroughly now we have the key?'

'Yes,' Bill said, 'as I stated in my report, the technology is incredible and I believe that it is, if you'll excuse the pun, the key to how it works. I mean, if we could replicate it, well, as you know, the benefits are obvious.'

'I agree.' Sam said softly.

Bill looked up at her sharply.

Sam cleared her throat and clasped her hands behind her back. 'I, uh, I owe you an apology.' She bit her lip. 'I shouldn't have spoken with you on the planet the way I did.'

Bill lowered the key back to the wrapping. 'Apology accepted, Major. When I calmed down, I realised you were probably just concerned for Colonel O'Neill's well-being. ' His mouth quirked into a rueful wince. 'I, uh, may not have calmed down exactly before I wrote my report.'

Sam shrugged. The report was on record; it was embarrassing and the General's reprimand, even as mild as it had been, had stung but she could live with it. 'I was out of line.'

Bill tried a tentative smile. 'Well, congratulations on getting Colonel O'Neill home. Your deduction was brilliant.'

'Thank you.' Sam accepted the olive branch with gratitude. She pointed at the door. 'I should...'

'Right.' Bill held up the key. 'Thank you for this.'

Sam nodded and left. She let out a shaky breath relieved that she could put the incident with Lee behind her.

She headed for Daniel's old office, wanting to check on the Colonel and suspecting she'd find the rest of SG1 there – it was their usual congregating place. She wondered at that a little. With Daniel's death, it wouldn't have been unusual for his office to become off limits. It had for a little while, she acknowledged, but with Jonas joining SG1, slowly but surely they'd all just drifted back there.

She hovered in the doorway as she took in the lone figure of Jonas.

He looked up. 'Hey, Sam.'

'Hey.' Sam wandered inside. 'Where is everyone?'

Jonas motioned at her. 'I ran into Teal'c. He told me the Colonel's gone home already. We'll do a team night tomorrow.'

'Ah.' Sam was disappointed the Colonel had left but she wasn't surprised. Given the few words he'd said about the moon, it didn't sound as though he'd had luxurious quarters during his time there. The thought of his house and bed must have been too appealing to resist. 'Teal'c?'

'He's in his quarters.' Jonas pulled a face and pointed at the book he held. 'I promised Nyan I'd finish this for him.' He looked over at her. 'Are you sticking around?'

Sam began to nod – God knew there was a ton of work in her lab that needed her attention – but she changed her mind and shook her head. Her own house and bed sounded appealing to her; she'd spent too many nights at the base in the past month going over the data and trying to find where the transporter had sent the Colonel. 'Actually, I think I'm going to call it a night. See you tomorrow.'

'G'night.' Jonas called.

Sam went straight to the women's locker room and changed back into her civilian gear. She closed her locker and turned around, briefly glancing at the bench. Had it only been a day before when Teal'c had comforted her over potentially losing the Colonel? She remembered how she'd blubbed all over him with a touch of embarrassment. Poor guy.

She knew she'd probably given away too much about how she felt about the Colonel despite her efforts not to mention her feelings. But she was aware Teal'c had seen her confess how much she loved Jack during the za'tarc incident so it wasn't really news for him, although she'd hoped she'd convinced him before her break-down that she had moved on just as the Colonel had done. It was disconcerting to realise that Teal'c probably knew the truth even if she hadn't admitted it out loud again; a relief in some ways that someone did; mortifying in others, but she knew Teal'c would never raise it unless she did. Still, Sam half-suspected that Teal'c's uncharacteristic hugging of the Colonel on the planet might have been prompted by his knowledge; just to give her an opportunity to hug the Colonel herself.

Sam made for Teal'c's quarters and rapped on the door. He called out to enter in a low rumble and she pushed on the door, unsurprised at the brightly lit candles spread around the room. Her friend sat cross-legged on the floor but he got gracefully to his feet as she entered and closed the door behind her.

'Major Carter.'

'I'm sorry, Teal'c.' Sam said. 'I didn't realise you were in the middle of your meditation.'

Teal'c inclined his head and his dark eyes registered her clothing. 'You are leaving.'

'Yes,' Sam gestured, 'I just wanted to, uh...about the other day in the locker room...'

'Do not be concerned, Major Carter.' Teal'c said softly. 'I will tell no-one.'

'I know that.' Sam knew he would never betray her confidence. 'I just wanted to say thank you.' She smiled nervously.

Teal'c inclined his head. 'You are welcome, Major Carter.' He murmured.

'See you tomorrow?'

Teal'c nodded.

Sam made her way from his quarters and walked toward the elevators. Her secret was safe with Teal'c, Sam mused as she stepped into the elevator. But, ironically, now the Colonel was home, she was only too aware of how much she needed to get some distance from him. She punched the floor button to take her to the surface; to take her home.

o-O-o

Jack turned over huffily and stared at the clock as though he could will it to show some other time than the one displayed: three a.m.

He groaned loudly and slapped his hands over his face. He was tired so why the hell wasn't he asleep? He'd been tossing and turning for the last four hours. The room seemed too quiet without the sounds of the wildlife he'd gotten used to on the moon; his bed too soft in comparison to the one he'd slept in for the past few weeks.

He pushed the covers away from his body, swinging his legs off the bed. He wandered in his boxers and vest out into the kitchen. He didn't bother with a light. He knew every inch of the house; could traverse it blindfolded. He opened the refrigerator and took out a beer. He knocked the top off using the kitchen counter and took a long gulp. He meandered through the rooms and out onto the back deck.

The night air was cold and bracing. He welcomed it. He breathed in deeply; scenting the dirt, grass and trees; the tang of the beer he held. Familiar smells unlike the pungent grass of the planet and the faint odour of death. He took another gulp of beer. He rested his elbows on the wood and looked out into the shadowy yard. His eyes strayed to the spot where Maybourne had sat a month before with his promise of weapons.

He should have known better, Jack berated himself. He should have known it was a con – he _had_ known it was a con but somehow that hadn't stopped him from taking his eyes off the weasel and allowing Maybourne the moment he needed to take the zat and shoot Carter...

If the zat had discharged twice; if he'd taken her handgun and not her zat...Jack shuddered.

He frowned into the darkness...

'_We're never getting out of here.' Maybourne complained._

_Jack ignored him and concentrated on devouring the flesh of the fish he'd caught. He stuffed another bite in his mouth, licking his fingers to capture the full taste._

'_You really think they're still searching?' Maybourne asked bluntly._

'_Yes, Harry, I do.' Jack said caustically. He knew it in his gut that they were still searching. His team wouldn't give up on him. Carter would work it out._

'_You're thinking Carter will work it out but she won't.' Maybourne said startling Jack because it was so close – and yet so far – from his own thinking. 'I have the only key to the arch.'_

'_She'll work it out.'_

'_Your faith in her is touching, Jack.'_

_Jack picked out another lump of fish and sucked it from his fingers._

'_You know you talk in your sleep.' Maybourne commented around a mouthful of food._

_Jack froze imperceptibly before he forced himself to continuing eating and kept his face expressionless as though Maybourne hadn't spoken. He'd been dreaming about Carter the past few nights; dreams where she'd been stranded with him. Alone. Without Harry. Because dreaming about her being stranded with him and Harry would be disturbing on a whole other level._

'_She's one hell of a beautiful woman, Jack.' Maybourne continued baiting him. 'I mean who wouldn't want to...'_

'_Hey!' Jack snapped. He glared at him. 'Don't even think about finishing that sentence.'_

_Maybourne smirked, a flake of fish hanging from his lips. _

_Jack went back to his meal._

'_Why haven't you two, you know?' Maybourne asked. 'God knows nobody would care if you two screwed the regs.'_

_Jack didn't respond; he kept eating. _

'_Or maybe the problem is that you care.' Maybourne said slowly. 'Maybe she's too important to you just to f...'_

'_Maybourne,' Jack didn't even look up as he spoke over the other man, 'finish that and I will shoot you.'_

_Maybourne chuckled. 'I'm right, aren't I? '_

'_Which part of I will shoot you didn't you understand?' Jack snapped._

_Maybourne held his hand up and subsided. The thought crossed Jack's mind that maybe he ought to shoot him anyway..._

Jack finished the bottle as though the rush of liquid down his throat would drown the memory. The Tok'ra had promised Maybourne would be delivered to an appropriately safe and boring planet. The former NID Colonel had no iris code; no way back to Earth. Maybourne and what he knew or didn't know didn't matter. Not that Maybourne knew anything really. All he'd surmised was that Jack cared enough about Carter not to break the regs with her. It wasn't exactly damning evidence that he loved her.

He shook his head as though to deny that he did.

Jack sighed. He loved Samantha Carter. He had a feeling he always would. But it didn't change anything. They had a mission; a team that relied on both their skills and experience. Carter had a career ahead of her that Jack would not complicate or risk in any way. And she deserved better than him. He'd screwed up one marriage, and his chest tightened in memory of the reasons why, and he wasn't convinced he was the right guy to make Carter happy. He hadn't changed his mind about that.

Even though he was tempted.

Tempted to take what he wanted; to pursue her; to selfishly ignore their duty and honour and everything else that prevented him from being with her. He'd half been tempted to resign out of protest anyway about the whole Kinsey thing and being thrown under the bus when he'd been arrested.

But then if he resigned, if he did throw in the towel, he hardly deserved a woman like Carter, and maybe whatever feelings she had for him wouldn't survive it. It was really a lose-lose situation, Jack mused with a grimace.

And he wasn't even sure Carter felt the same way. He thought her feelings for him might have been resurrected after his brush with being a Tok'ra host but he couldn't say for certain. And even if they had he couldn't respond; couldn't let her know he felt the same way. He had to protect her because the last time he hadn't and he'd ended up with a zat in his hand and Carter lying dead at his feet.

He shifted abruptly with the memory. It was too close to the memory of seeing her lying at Maybourne's feet after the son-of-a-bitch had shot her. His jaw tensed and he stared out at the empty yard.

He should really stop thinking about it and go back to bed before the night was completely over, Jack ordered himself briskly. He looked up at the sky with its blanket of stars and sighed. He turned around and went inside.

o-O-o

Sam pulled her knees up to her chin, shifted position on the cosy window seat, and stared out at the sky. It was clear and the stars shone; pinpricks of light that dotted the darkness. Her eyes strayed to the clock and winced.

Three-thirty a.m.

She'd woken an hour before, her heart racing, panic tightening her chest and making her breathing ragged in the wake of the nightmare. She could remember snippets; the shock of a zat blast, the Colonel disappearing into the haze of light that filled the arch, the horrifying panic that she couldn't find him; the overwhelming sense of loss...

He was home, Sam reminded herself. She hadn't lost him. He had come back.

_This time._

Sam traced a path on the edge of the window, the cool feel of glass beneath her fingertips. She'd seen so many people lost in the last few years, Sam mused, it seemed strange to think that she often allowed herself to forget that there were no guarantees going through the Stargate. Every mission brought the risk of failure and death. Somehow despite all their near-misses she had let herself believe the hype around SG1; that the rules didn't apply to them.

The hype was justified to some degree. They did have incredible luck which held more often than not; they always seemed to find a way out of an impossible situation. Other people might get captured, might not make it home, might get dosed with radiation and die...but not them. Daniel had effectively cheated death by Ascending and even the Colonel had made it home despite being captured by Ba'al. But somehow the latest near-miss by the Colonel, which didn't really look like it had been a near-miss at all – just a case of ending up in the wrong place, had shaken her. It had brought back all the loss she'd felt when Daniel had left.

Daniel might have cheated death but he was still gone and she missed him. Sometimes the grief was like a physical ache wearing away at her insides. She missed starting her day debating something with him over breakfast; missed him turning up in her lab to check some theory out; missed the easy way they had swapped rations and cookies off-world on missions. More, she missed his presence when she needed someone to talk to in the middle of the night; someone who would just hug her without worrying about regulations; someone who would just know how she was feeling and empathise with her without her needing to explain it.

And she'd needed that empathy with the Colonel's disappearance. Jonas was a lovely guy; sweet, incredibly intelligent, and he had turned into a friend but he wasn't Daniel. He didn't get her moods; didn't quite understand her temper. He'd known that she was upset during the previous month, and she knew he'd walked on eggshells with her the whole time but she also knew that he hadn't the first clue how to make it right for her.

That had fallen to Teal'c. Her finger traced the corner of the glass again. The Jaffa was like another brother to her; his quiet, silent support had helped during the first few days, sustained her through the first week. But she had been unable to confide in him; unable to turn to him because deep down she knew she didn't want to appear weak to him. And she'd missed Daniel more because of that.

Missed Daniel so much that she'd begun to wonder if she had lost the Colonel too...had lost _Jack_.

The name whispered across the forefront of her mind and Sam stirred guiltily. He'd given her permission in their early days to use his name off-duty but she'd never been comfortable at calling him Jack; it was too personal, too...dangerous – especially after she'd fallen head over heels in love with him. No, it was better that he was 'the Colonel' to her. His rank reminded her of all the reasons why they couldn't be together; the team, the mission, the regs and their working relationship.

Even if sometimes she wished things were different.

Sam stirred anxiously at the thought. She slipped off the seat and headed for the kitchen. She pulled out a tin of hot chocolate and set some milk to warm.

She still swung between mortified and grateful that Teal'c had eventually taken matters into his own hands and sought her out to comfort her. But she had needed the release of admitting to someone her fear that they had lost the Colonel and how she couldn't bear the thought; not so soon after Daniel...not at all, if she was being honest.

Sam grimaced as she poured the milk over the hot chocolate and stirred vigorously until the grains had melted. She blew on the top of the liquid and took a hesitant sip. It was almost hot enough to burn the roof of her mouth but the warmth and cocoa smell comforted her.

Maybe, Sam considered as she walked back over to the window seat, it should bother her more that she had given away her feelings for the Colonel, for Jack, when Teal'c had comforted her but she truly believed his reassurance that he would tell no-one; that her secret remained safe. And yet...Sam couldn't quite shake the notion that maybe it would be even more of a relief just to get it fully in the open.

The temptation tugged at her heart seductively.

All she had to do was admit the truth of her feelings and the Air Force would do the rest; reassignment, the Colonel removed from her immediate chain of command, freedom to pursue a relationship with him.

Panic, want and fear danced through her and left butterflies in her belly. She took another sip of the dark sweet liquid to drown them before she rested her head against the pane of glass. She stared out at the stars.

The idea of transferring from SG1 wasn't as scary as it had once been. It wasn't that she wasn't proud of her position on the team because she was; very proud. But she knew her rank and field experience qualified her for a SG team lead position. She figured if she had been on any other team she would have been offered her own command.

So what was she waiting for? Life was short...shouldn't she just make the leap and leave? Daniel had. Sam frowned. She had never wanted to be the type of female officer who had to leave for personal reasons, for falling for a senior officer. But it wasn't just that...she wanted SG1.

Was that too ambitious? She wanted the flagship team to lead. The fact that General Hammond had been considering her as the Colonel's replacement had been flattering but she knew he would prefer someone with a higher rank. Maybe it was ridiculous to hold out for SG1; the Colonel was in good shape and showed no sign that he wanted to retire from the field...she may have to move to another team eventually.

_Eventually._ Was she still prepared to wait for a personal life; put it on hold for her career as she had done? Just hope the Colonel was available when she got around to wanting to be with him? Sam sighed and took a drink of her chocolate. She knew he'd dated someone else the previous year. He'd moved on.

Or had he?

Sometimes...sometimes he looked at her and she was reminded of how he used to look at her before a computer entity had brought it home to the Colonel that he was too close to her. Just glimpses. Sometimes so fleeting that she would think she must have imagined them. Like earlier when they'd greeted him after the Tok'ra had ringed him to the planet, when he'd silently looked at her and nodded his permission for her to follow Teal'c and Jonas. His hug had been so familiar and yet not familiar enough. It had been too much.

Sometimes when she thought about being with Jack, it scared her. She loved him so much despite all the obstacles to their being together. What if they did get together and she lost him? How much more would she love him then? How would she stand it? The memory of her alternate universe twin drifted through her mind. The other woman had been devastated by the loss of her Jack. And, Sam mused, if losing Daniel hurt her so much, how much worse would it be to lose Jack if she was his lover? She had seen her mother's death devastate her father; devastate their family.

No. Being with Jack...it wasn't an option.

If he looked at her sometimes it was because he cared about her as a friend; nothing more. And she should focus on her career. There would be time for marriage and a family later, Sam determined, ignoring the faint hint of defensiveness that edged her inner voice. Maybe with Jack; maybe not. And in the meantime, there was nothing inherently wrong with loving him from afar; caring about him.

Sam glanced at the clock and got to her feet. She would try and sleep for a couple of hours before she headed back to the base.

o-O-o

Jack rapped sharply on Hammond's door and entered at the brisk command. He stood at ease in front of the General's desk and patiently waited for Hammond to finish signing his name on what seemed like a multitude of forms. Jack tried hard to ignore how his uniform hung loosely on his frame. He'd only managed half the pizza the previous evening before his stomach had protested.

Breakfast, Jack thought longingly. Oatmeal, maybe. It probably made sense to follow the doc's directive and keep things bland. He'd actually come in early for food seeing as his own place lacked pretty much everything but beer and the cold remnants of the pizza. He'd gotten a note ordering him to report to Hammond on his arrival.

'You're in early, Colonel.' Hammond noted as he placed his pen down and looked up at Jack.

'I only have beer and beer in my house, sir.' Jack said.

Hammond's face lit up with amusement. He sat back, the leather chair creaking slightly under his weight. 'Take a seat, Jack.'

Jack grimaced and reached for one of the visitor chairs. 'I'm not going to like this, am I?'

'Probably not.' Hammond agreed with a pained smile which faded as he considered his words. 'While you were gone, Senator Kinsey resumed his calls for full disclosure of the Stargate programme to the major world powers: China, the United Kingdom and France in particular.'

Jack sighed. 'Can't I just shoot him?'

Hammond laughed and shot Jack an appreciative look. 'I really wish you could.'

'Just say the word.' Jack said fervently. I mean, who's going to suspect me after what happened last time, right?'

Hammond's look turned a little admonishing. He folded his hands on his belly. 'I've agreed to the disclosure.'

Jack's eyebrows shot up and he looked at Hammond a little bewildered. 'I'm sorry, sir,' he began, 'did you just say you _agreed_ to the disclosure?'

'He was going to get his way sooner or later...'

'I vote for later.' Jack inserted.

'And it's important we retain some control over this.' Hammond continued. 'My agreeing surprised the Senator almost as much as it surprised you.'

Jack pulled a face. 'I'm just not sure that's possible, sir.'

'It's put him on the defensive.' Hammond said firmly. 'I'd like to keep him that way.' He gestured. 'Paul Davis will be arriving later to pull together a presentation; I'd like you and the rest of SG1 to assist him.'

'Right.' Jack nodded.

Hammond cleared his throat. 'Given some of your remarks yesterday I felt you might appreciate the opportunity to debrief in private this morning.'

'Thank you, sir.' Jack suppressed the urge to fidget under Hammond's kind but resolute stare. 'I took Maybourne through the Stargate to the planet as agreed. I met up with Major Carter. She informed me Teal'c and Jonas were doing a perimeter check. Maybourne stepped up to the arch with the key...'

'Where were you and Major Carter in relation to Colonel Maybourne?' Hammond interrupted, leaning forward.

'Carter and I remained on the other side of the arch watching him.' Jack frowned unhappily as he recalled the moment. 'He said it hadn't worked. I indicated for Carter to take a look. She went over and Maybourne took a couple of steps back from her to give her access to the key.'

'And then...'

'I looked away.' Jack winced at the admission. 'I took my eyes off the slimy son-of-a-bitch for one minute and he...'

'He took the Major's zat.' Hammond said.

'Right but it wasn't Carter's fault. I should never have given him the opportunity to grab her weapon in the first place.' Jack hurried out. He made another face; he had known Maybourne was up to something. 'I should have ordered Maybourne back to my position and I should never have taken my eyes off him. Carter had every reason to believe I was watching them.' His jaw firmed. 'I take full responsibility for what happened, sir.'

Hammond nodded. 'So Colonel Maybourne zatted the Major at close range...'

'I was about to respond when he zatted me.' Jack said. 'I took a glancing blow. He activated the transporter, took the key and I managed to recover in time to grab him as he went through.'

'That confirms Major Carter's account.' Hammond said.

'Maybourne and I found a retreat of some kind on the other side. It was abandoned; the people there long dead. I did a recon and realised we were pretty stuck.'

'So you hunkered in and waited for a rescue.' Hammond concluded.

'Yes, sir.'

'And the shooting?' Hammond asked delicately.

'There was a plant with hallucinogenic properties although we didn't realise it at first. Maybourne had been eating it a while and it was sending him paranoid. He went off on his own.' Jack explained. 'I ate some of the plant but then I was, uh, reading a historical record of the planet left by the previous inhabitants and I, uh, I realised the plant was bad news.'

Hammond's eyebrows had slowly climbed up his forehead at Jack's admission of historical research. 'I see.'

'I went after Maybourne to tell him and I ran into a trap he'd set for a forest pig. I injured my leg. The pig came at me when I was on the ground.' Jack continued. 'I shot at it; hit Maybourne.' He shrugged. 'He thought that I was trying to kill him and tried to ambush me. I had to shoot him again.' He paused. 'I want you to know I took no enjoyment from it, sir.'

Hammond looked at him.

Jack silently formed a small space between his forefinger and thumb. 'OK, so, maybe a little.'

'Doctor Fraiser reports that your blood work came back clean.' Hammond said with a sigh, choosing to ignore Jack's comment.

'Excellent, sir.'

Hammond nodded and looked at Jack. 'Do you think Maybourne knew there were no weapons?'

Jack pulled a face but didn't reply.

'And yet you allowed the Tok'ra to take him.' Hammond said, understanding Jack's non-reply for what it was; an admission.

Jack shrugged. 'He got his pardon, General, and frankly, isn't it better that he's off somewhere out there,' he gestured vaguely in the air, 'where he can't do any harm rather than wandering around free here?'

Hammond harrumphed and settled back in his seat. 'Very well.' He regarded Jack guardedly. 'There is another matter we should discuss.'

Jack looked at his CO questioningly.

'Major Carter.' Hammond said.

Jack stiffened imperceptibly. His brain zig-zagged through the possibility that Hammond had come to his own conclusions about how Carter felt about him and was about to break up the team before he ordered his inner voice to shut the hell up.

'The last month has been a difficult one for her.' Hammond pursed his lips and raised his hands briefly. 'As we have already discussed, Maybourne used her weapon to facilitate his escape. She felt responsible.'

Jack remained silent; his heart pounded so loudly that he wondered if Hammond could hear it.

'I'm afraid she allowed her perceived guilt to influence her behaviour.' Hammond continued. 'Doctor Lee made a complaint about her.'

'Excuse me?' Jack blurted out, holding up both his forefingers. 'Lee made a complaint about _Carter_? As in _Carter_?' He looked at Hammond with disbelief.

'Apparently, the two of them had a heated exchange over Doctor Lee's conclusion that the scientists could not determine your location from further study of the arch.'

'Carter has heated exchanges with people over science all the time.' Jack pointed out, unable to stop himself from springing to her defence. 'What was Lee's problem?'

'Her behaviour to quote Lee was 'hostile, rude and abrasive.'' Hammond lifted a hand from his desk. 'The Major doesn't deny her behaviour was out of line.'

Jack realised his mouth had dropped open slightly and he snapped it shut. She had been that upset she had acted badly enough to upset others and admit that she had? That had to mean she still cared about him – didn't it?

'You needn't look so pleased about this, Colonel.' Hammond said sternly.

Jack's gaze jerked back to his CO.

'Or do I need to give _you_ the 'please be nice to the civilian scientists' speech again?' Hammond ended caustically.

Jack hurriedly rearranged his expression and gave thanks that Hammond had leaped to the conclusion he was happy Carter was yelling at scientists. His CO didn't need to know Jack was pleased that Carter had been so affected because it gave away how much she cared about him still. Not that he should be pleased about that, Jack reminded himself; and, not that he was certain that it did prove she cared about him. 'Sorry, sir.' He said out loud.

'Given the circumstances I appreciate her behaviour was out of character and she has assured me it won't happen again. She apologised to Doctor Lee.' Hammond continued. 'I realise you may have wanted to handle the matter yourself as her CO, Colonel...'

'I'm sure you handled it much better than I would have, General.' Jack jumped in.

Hammond looked as though he was about to make a comment on how Jack was likely to have handled it, (applause and jokes that she had finally made it over to the dark side came to Jack's mind), but his CO settled for a gentle huff. 'Then you would agree that the matter is closed?'

'Yes, sir.' Jack said.

'I assume you'll speak with the Major regarding the matter of Maybourne taking her weapon?'

Jack nodded. 'I will.'

'Very well.' Hammond nodded at him and Jack stood up, recognising it as his dismissal.

He left the General's office and stood momentarily in the corridor gathering his thoughts. He was stunned that Carter had yelled at Lee but he could sympathise – if their positions had been reversed, he was sure he would have been equally hostile, rude and abrasive to the scientist; he would have probably been worse. He set off towards the elevator. He'd talk to Carter and then maybe they could grab breakfast together.

o-O-o

The alien artefact was locked tightly shut. Sam adjusted the flame on the cutting torch she held. She had come in early after her less than restful night. The artefact seemed a perfect object upon which to expend some of her frustration. She bit down on her lip and set the flame against the metal surface. Bright yellow sparks arched upwards into the air.

'Woah!'

The sound of the Colonel behind her had Sam hurriedly turning the torch off and removing the face guard she wore as she turned to face him. 'Sir.'

'A bit extreme, don't you think, Carter?' Jack pointed at the artefact. 'Or did it upset you in some way?' His brown eyes twinkled at her.

She smiled nervously as she took her heavy work gloves off. 'SG2 brought it back over a week ago. We haven't been able to get inside it.'

'And there I was thinking it had refused to keep looking for me.' Jack quipped dryly as he came to a halt beside her.

Sam blushed furiously and hoped he couldn't tell from the dim lighting in her lab. 'You, uh, heard about Doctor Lee's report?' She had been informed the team debriefing had been cancelled and had surmised the General had wanted to discuss events with the Colonel in private.

'Had the Cliff notes from Hammond.' Jack confirmed. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his green BDU pants.

Sam tried to examine his expression for any sign that he had figured out how she felt about him but apart from the glint of humour in his brown eyes she couldn't read anything else. Her fingers twisted the canvas gloves she held. 'Sir, if I could just explain and...'

'Relax, Carter.' Jack ordered briskly. He waved at her. 'Hammond already told me you apologised to Lee so as far as I'm concerned the matter's closed.'

Sam allowed a tiny breath of relief to escape her lips, and her shoulders dropped a touch.

'I told Hammond it was my fault Maybourne was able to take your weapon.' Jack continued crisply.

Her eyes widened on his. 'Sir...'

'It _was_ my fault, Carter.' Jack held up a finger when she opened her mouth to argue. 'Ah!'

Sam closed her mouth, unaware of how it set in a stubborn line of silent protest.

'I was in charge of the mission, Carter.' Jack pointed out. 'I should have ordered Maybourne away from your position and I shouldn't have taken my eyes off you.'

Her eyebrow rose a little at the last.

He waved at her hurriedly at her. 'Both of you. Obviously.' His lips twisted. 'Maybourne only took your weapon because I gave him the opportunity.'

Sam felt some of her own guilt dissipate under his certainty. 'You couldn't have known, sir.'

Jack leaned against the central workbench. 'I knew he was up to something.'

'You really shot him?' Sam asked curious.

'Twice.' Jack said gleefully with a smirk. 'He was going nuts because of some plant we ate.' He shrugged. 'I'm sure the Tok'ra have found a nice boring planet for him.'

Sam smiled and wondered if it was wrong that Maybourne's fate made her feel a little better.

'I, uh, also hear I owe you a thank you.' Jack nudged her arm with his elbow. 'Something about you working out where the transporter sent me?'

Sam blushed again. 'It was a team effort, sir.' She gestured with the gloves. 'Jonas found some old pictures of the key; Teal'c was running video of the planet when the moon was visible and...'

'You put two and two together.'

'Something like that, sir.' Sam admitted as she took advantage of getting rid of the gloves to move slightly away from him.

'Well, thank you.' Jack said warmly.

Sam nodded. 'It sounded like the conditions on the moon were fairly basic.'

'They were.' Jack shrugged. 'We survived.' His eyes narrowed on her and she shuffled under his intent regard. 'You look tired, Carter.'

He looked as shocked as she felt that he had said something, Sam mused with a touch of amusement. They usually shied away from personal observations. She must look awful, Sam considered, repressing the urge to touch her hair. 'I, uh, guess I didn't sleep much last night, sir.' She admitted self-consciously.

Jack's lips tilted up at one corner. 'Me either.' He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at her sheepishly. 'Couldn't get used to having a bed.'

'I was thinking too much.' Sam said impulsively.

'You? Thinking?' Jack placed a hand dramatically on his heart. 'Surely not, Carter.'

Sam gave a small laugh at his antics.

Jack grinned at her as he rocked back on his heels. 'You should have called me.'

For the second time, they both looked at each other with equally shocked expressions.

'I know you used to call Daniel.' Jack rushed out. 'So, you know,' he grimaced as though he recognised the awkwardness of his offer, 'if you need someone else to call...'

He was offering as a friend, Sam told herself strictly. That's all it was. She smiled at him in what she hoped was a grateful way. 'Thank you, sir.'

They looked at each other.

Sam held her breath and wondered if it was just her who felt the air humming with what ifs and maybes...

'So, breakfast?' Jack asked.

A flash of white filled Sam's eyes; her stomach dropped as her body reacted to the sudden dislocation and she staggered a little as she reformed on the bridge of the Asgard ship. The Colonel reached out to steady her and she shot him a thankful look.

'O'Neill.' Thor moved out from behind the transporter console to greet them. 'Major Carter. I am pleased to find you together.' His large eyes dark eyes regarded them both with warmth.

Sam smiled. 'It's good to see you, Thor.'

'Yes. Good to see you.' Jack gestured at the Asgard. 'Is this another mission because I have to tell ya, we're still kind of getting over the last one.'

'I have not come to ask for your help on this occasion, O'Neill.' Thor said firmly. 'Rather I am here to present Earth with a gift.'

'A gift you say?' Jack exchanged a look with Sam. Gifts from the Asgard or any of the advanced races they had encountered were rare.

Thor inclined his large grey head. 'As a mark of our respect and friendship for your recent efforts, the Asgard would like to install our shield and weapon technology onto the Earth-ship currently designated as the Prometheus.'

Sam felt her heart skip a beat.

They looked at Thor in shocked silence.

Jack held up a hand finally. 'Did you just say weapon technology?'

'I did, O'Neill.'

Sam shot the Colonel a look of concern. 'Thor, isn't that against the Protected Planets Treaty?'

Thor blinked at her. 'As someone recently pointed out to me, Anubis rendered the treaty null and void when he attacked our base and took me prisoner.'

'Ah.' Jack said. He looked back at Sam who shrugged – Daniel had always known those kind of details better than the rest of them; she guessed it was possible – before he turned to Thor. 'Well, thank you.'

'Thank you.' Thor said. 'We are in process of fortifying all the protected planets with further safeguards.' He reached over to a console and picked up a stone. 'As I will remain in this galaxy, you may contact me on this if your government has any questions.' He handed the stone to Sam before he stepped back to the transporter control. 'I will return in approximately two weeks to begin implementing the technology. I trust this is acceptable?'

'Uh, sure.' Sam said.

'Then I will take my leave of you.' Thor bowed his head in goodbye.

A flash of white engulfed her before she could do anything more than wave at him.

She found herself in the General's office with the Colonel beside her. They looked at each other with shared bewilderment and confusion.

Hammond stared at them for a full second with his hand clutched tightly to the phone at his ear. 'Never mind, Sergeant. They just turned up.' He dropped the receiver back into its cradle. 'The Asgard?'

'Yes, sir.' Sam replied attempting to assume an at ease position.

'Thor offered us technology.' Jack blurted out.

Hammond's thin eyebrows shot up his forehead.

'I know.' Jack motioned at him wildly. 'That was what I said.' He suddenly turned to Sam. 'Carter,' he said, 'that did actually happen, right?' he gestured at her. 'I didn't just dream Thor showed up and offered us advanced technology?'

'It was real, sir.' Sam assured him. She didn't think he wanted to hear that she was half-convinced it was a shared delusion somehow conjured up due to sleep deprivation.

'Thor offered us technology?' Hammond repeated.

'Apparently, they just realised Anubis tore up the treaty with his whole attacking Thor thing.' Jack said. 'So...'

'So, they're now willing to give us technology.' Hammond blew out a breath. 'What are we talking about here?'

'Shields and weapons for the Prometheus, sir.' Sam said.

Hammond reared back. 'Weapons?'

'I know.' Jack said again. 'That's what I said.'

'You did accept, I take it?' Hammond asked urgently.

'Yes, sir.' Jack confirmed. 'He's got to go reinforce protections on the other planets but he'll be back in a couple of weeks. He left us,' he waved at Sam, 'a stone to communicate with him if we had any questions.'

Sam placed the stone on Hammond's desk.

Hammond smiled at them widely as he picked it up. 'Good work, people.'

'Thank you, sir.'

Jack sounded as bewildered as she felt, Sam mused.

'I know you'll want to inform the rest of your team but I don't want this going any further than that.' Hammond said crisply. 'I'll inform the President.'

Sam nodded.

Hammond was already reaching for the red phone as he dismissed them.

She and Jack stepped into the corridor. Jack's stomach rumbled loudly before he could say anything. He winced and rubbed his belly as though to soothe it.

'Breakfast, sir.' Sam suggested.

Jack smiled at her. 'Excellent idea, Carter.' He swept his arm to the side to indicate she should go first and she smiled as she walked forward and he fell into step beside her. She couldn't shake the sense of awe she felt at the Asgard's gift and she couldn't shake the sense of happiness she felt at having the Colonel home.

Maybe, thought Sam as they reached the elevator; maybe she should just enjoy the moment and enjoy breakfast.


	39. Preservation

**Author's Note: **Sam/Jack UST. Jonas & Jack friendship. Daniel & Oma friendship.

**Metamorphosis Recap:** _Sam is teasing Jonas on his flirting with Nurse Rush when the base alarms sound. The Russian team arrive back with Alebran, a sick native from the planet P3X367, who brings them news of Nirrti. The female Goa'uld who once experimented on Cassie's people, is experimenting on Alebran's, and SG1 surmise she's trying to create an advanced human for a host. Alebran notes that Nirrti is using some kind of machine to change them. Alebran's condition suddenly deteriorates and he dies, his cells collapsing into liquid._

_Hammond authorises SG1 to return to the planet and Jack is ordered to take the Russian team along with him. On the planet, the majority of the Russian team are left to guard the gate while SG1 head up to the fortress with Lieutenant Colonel Sergei Evanov, the Russian team leader. They shoot their way past the Jaffa guards and enter the fortress. They find a huddled group of natives who are all badly deformed. They claim Nirrti is their God and she is healing them. They also note she has left but is expected back._

_Jack orders Teal'c and Jonas to take the villagers somewhere safe, and as one of the villagers, Egar, moves away he notes that Jack intends to kill Nirrti. In the dungeons the villagers turn on Teal'c and Jonas, one of them – Woden – using telekinetic powers to force them into the cells. Sam radios him Jack to tell him she's failed to raise Jonas and Jack tells her he's on his way back. A set of rings appears in the room Sam is in and she zats the two Jaffa who appear but she is zatted in turn by a cloaked Nirrti. Jack finds her captured and unconscious with Nirrti holding a zat to her head. When he surrenders, he is zatted._

_He wakes in the cell and although they try to rouse the natives who linger outside the cell to help them, they don't succeed. Sergei arrives back; he has been in the machine and is clearly ill. Although Jack protests Sam is taken next. She is forced into the machine and her genetic structure changed. She is returned to the cell but tells Jack she thinks she's not going to be OK. Jonas is taken next and he manages to surprise Egar, who has been reading their minds, almost succeeding in getting free. He enters the machine but Nirrti notes his genetic structure is different. _

_As Sam struggles to deal with her pain, Jack orders her to rest and unusually she huddles up next to him and rests her head on his shoulder. Unfortunately her possible fate is made clear when Sergei disintegrates as Alebran did. _

_Jonas next wakes in Nirrti's private quarters where she offers him power. He turns her down and is returned to the cell. Jack is taken and he convinces Egar to look into Nirrti's mind and see the truth. Woden uses his telekinetic abilities to kill Nirrti. Jack is horrified as only Nirrti knows how to use the machine and save Sam. Egar reassures him he took what he needed and Jack returns to the cells, carrying Sam to the machine where she is restored. SG1 thank Woden and Egar; they promise to help the villagers rebuild before they take their leave. _

**Preservation**

Samantha Carter couldn't prevent the shiver that ran through her as SG1 re-entered the cells to gather the rest of their belongings. She ignored the concerned look Jack O'Neill shot her and concentrated on packing up her things. The villagers had apparently dumped everything that they could find that belonged to them in the middle of the cell. She gave a sigh of relief as Jonas Quinn handed her the laptop she always took off-world and she pushed it into her pack. It would have been a nightmare to replace. She shrugged into her tactical vest which Teal'c had passed to her ignoring the faint tremor in her limbs.

'You good to go, Carter?' Jack asked briskly.

Sam glanced over and averted her eyes again quickly when she realised the Colonel was plucking the dog tags of the Russian team leader from the sodden bench where he had died. She felt her vision darken suddenly and she staggered as she fought to retain her balance. Breathe, she instructed herself harshly.

'Carter?' The urgency in the Colonel's voice indicated how worried he was and she felt him take hold of her arm and steady her.

'Dizzy, sir.' She managed to get out. It was all she could do to focus on remaining upright.

'Sit.' He guided her to the edge of a bench and she reluctantly lowered her head between her knees, knowing he would insist on the position if she didn't follow it.

'Maybe Egar missed something.' Jonas offered.

'We should get him to check you out again.' Jack said, crouching beside her. She could feel his hand on her knee.

'No.' Sam said as the rush of weakness eased and she regained her equilibrium. She raised her head cautiously and found all three men grouped around her with anxious expressions, some more guarded than others. 'Really. Egar fixed me, I can feel it. It was just a dizzy spell.'

Jack moistened his lips and she could tell by the way he regarded her that he was considering options. The way she saw it they had two possible ways forward: he could leave her and one of the others behind while he went to report to the SGC and got a med team to come out to her, or they could all return to the SGC where she could get checked out properly.

'I'll be fine, sir.' She assured him. Staying in the fortress was probably the more prudent course of action but she really wanted to just get home and she was counting on the Colonel not wanting to split the team up if he could avoid it.

Jack gave a small sigh. He stood up and glanced at Jonas. 'And you're sure you're OK?'

'I feel fine.' Jonas said swiftly, giving a small shrug of his shoulders. 'Like I said, I don't think Nirrti did anything to me when I was in the machine.'

Jack looked back at her and Sam met his gaze hopefully. 'OK,' he conceded, 'Jonas, take Carter's pack...'

'Sir,' Sam began to protest.

He held up a finger. 'No arguments, Carter. Just...' he gestured at her, 'focus on getting yourself back to the gate. Understood?'

'Yes, sir.' Sam shot Jonas an apologetic look but he simply hoisted her pack onto one shoulder with a smile.

Jack held out his hand and she grasped it to pull herself upwards. She met his questioning look with a nod; she was OK. She let of him and tugged down on her vest before she picked up her P90.

'Teal'c, take point.' Jack ordered.

They walked out of the fortress single-file quickly finding the path back into the forest that led to the Stargate.

Teal'c moved on ahead. Sam knew he would clear the way for them if they found any more of Nirrti's Jaffa guarding the gate. The tension in his stride and the way he clasped his staff weapon gave away his readiness to protect them.

Sam's gaze fell on Jonas immediately in front of her. The Kelownan had become very much a part of SG1. He might not have the same experience under his belt as the rest of them but he was courageous and smart. She had overheard him talking to Teal'c about Nirrti's attempted seduction of him and how he had replied just before the Colonel had arrived back to take her to the machine. Jonas was gaining more confidence with each mission, Sam mused as she concentrated on the path. Apart from his run-in with Nirrti he and Teal'c had almost got them free when he'd run at Egar when they were captured.

His relationship with the Colonel had improved tremendously too. She'd heard the worry in Jack's voice for Jonas when the Kelownan had been collected for Nirrti's continued experiments on them all and when he'd questioned Jonas over whether he was really fine.

She resisted looking over her shoulder at the Colonel. She felt her cheeks warm with more than the effort of walking as she remembered how she'd allowed herself to curl up on his shoulder earlier that day. What must he think, Sam berated herself. Possibly what she'd hoped he'd never find out; that she still had feelings for him. What had _she_ been thinking?

That she was dying.

That in her final hours she didn't want to pretend that she didn't care about him; didn't need him.

_Why do we always wait to tell people how we really feel?_

The words she had said to her former team-mate Daniel Jackson as he had lain dying drifted into her head. Not that she had gone that far. She hadn't made any confessions of love, of caring more than she should to the Colonel. _Thank God. _It was bad enough that she had given into her weakness and rested against him. If she'd said anything...she shuddered. She knew he had moved on from the feelings he'd once had for her and while she didn't doubt he cared for her – his concern for her proved that – she believed it was nothing more than friendship. Occasionally she thought she saw something in his eyes when he looked at her but it was probably her wishful thinking.

Sam grimaced.

Maybe he wouldn't read anything into it, Sam mused. She could hope that maybe he would just put it down to a team-mate, a friend, seeking human warmth and comfort in her final hours.

Only they hadn't been her final hours. Not that she'd been given the same out as Daniel; apparently, her imminent death hadn't given her a free pass to the Ascension club but SG1's luck had held. The Colonel had managed to convince Egar to look into Nirrti's mind and discover the truth about the Goa'uld. The natives had been the ones to kill Nirrti and to save Sam by fixing her in the machine.

She shivered again, remembering the overwhelming feeling of _wrong_ about her body after Nirrti had experimented on her. When she'd been released she'd known something had changed; something fundamental. The pain had been everywhere, permeating every cell. She had known she was dying. Just like the unfortunate Alebran and the Russian team leader, Sergei Evanov. She had wondered as she lay there awaiting her end if Daniel had felt the same when he had been dying; so much fear, so much regret. Although he had been ultimately saved by Ascension, his dying by a severe dose of radiation had similarities.

Perhaps, Sam considered as her mind flew back to the intellectual puzzle, the Ancient genetic machine worked in a similar way. Radiation did cause genetic mutations, usually over a long period of time...and the liquefying of the body internally could be a result of radiation poisoning, although normally external degradation to the body was as severe as the internal. Maybe the machine was able to target the radiation into someone's DNA and accelerate changes within it without necessarily affecting the upper epidermis.

Sam sighed. She would never know how the machine worked. The natives intended to destroy it and she really couldn't blame them. It was dangerous. If any Goa'uld got their hands on it and successfully managed to create an advanced human – it didn't bear thinking about. A Goa'uld with that kind of power...they had enough problems with the Goa'uld in their original state. Anubis had become a major threat since he had returned and while he'd focused his efforts more on destroying the Tok'ra and only occasionally trying to destroy Earth, Sam couldn't help but feel he would try again soon.

At least Anubis's actions in regards to the Asgard seemed to have prompted their allies into rethinking their own strategy about the Goa'uld – perhaps that and the containment of the Replicators. Thor had stopped by the week before with the offer of Asgard shields and weapons for the Prometheus. He would return in another week to install them. It was a closely guarded secret at the SGC with only the President, General Hammond and SG1 in the know. The General had been keen to keep the news under wraps with the disclosure of the Stargate programme to the major world powers imminent and the President had agreed with him. Sam was looking forward to working with the Asgard on the installation.

Her lips twitched. Rodney McKay was going to be so annoyed that he hadn't been told. She couldn't wait to see his face when he found out. He was going to be...

The rush of nausea took her by surprise.

She lurched to the side of the path and bent over as the bile pushed up through her gullet, burning the back of her throat as she gagged and vomited helplessly. Her eyes stung with unexpected tears; frustration, weakness...she blinked them back furiously as she caught her breath.

'Carter.'

Jack was suddenly beside her and she grabbed hold of his vest unthinkingly as she bent double again and heaved. The meagre contents of her stomach were already up and she was left with painful cramping. She felt her whole body tremble as she desperately breathed in slowly, trying to will the nausea away.

She felt Jack's hand brush through her hair; one of his arms was around her waist she realised, supporting her. She straightened tentatively and he took her P90 from her as he led her away where her nostrils weren't assailed by the acrid smell of vomit. She absently noticed a concerned Teal'c and Jonas hovering further along the path.

'Sit.' Jack ordered, gesturing at a large log.

'I'm...'

'Sit, damn it.'

She sat. Or rather half collapsed.

'O'Neill.' Teal'c ran up. He looked over at her and she saw his worry for her flicker in the depths of his dark eyes before he returned his attention to the Colonel.

'You and Jonas carry on to the gate.' Jack said crisply, giving Teal'c her P90 to carry. 'Make sure it's secure. Signal us when you're ready to gate through and I'll bring Carter.'

Sam glanced around and realised as she placed the vegetation patterns and the shape of the path that they were almost there.

Teal'c inclined his head, hoisted his weapon and turned to jog back to the path. He and Jonas both set off again. She felt a murmur of guilt.

Jack offered her a canteen of water. She rinsed her mouth out twice, spitting the liquid onto the ground behind the log before she took a couple of hesitant sips. The cool water slid down her raw throat and into her belly. She held a breath but the water didn't rise back up. She handed the canteen back. He swapped it for a mint and she slipped it between her lips, sucking on the hard candy, grateful as the sharp freshness replaced the taste of bile.

'Thank you, sir.' Sam said quietly as he sat beside her and waited.

'Are you sure we shouldn't take you back to the machine?' He asked, adjusting the hold on his P90. His brown eyes scanned the undergrowth for threats.

'I'm sure.' Sam said.

It was a few more minutes before their radios crackled into life.

'O'Neill, this is Teal'c.' The Jaffa's voice rumbled out of the tiny speaker. 'The gate is secure and Jonas Quinn has dialled Earth.'

'Send Jonas through to organise a med team for Carter's arrival and update the General.' Jack's look stopped her from protesting.

'Understood.' Teal'c replied. The radio went silent.

Sam pushed herself upwards and felt herself sway; her body trembling with weakness. Jack's arm went around her waist to support her. She took a breath and pushed away from him but he held onto her.

'Humour me, Carter.' Jack ordered.

Sam leaned against him as they set back along the path and as her knees shook with each step, she was grateful the Colonel had insisted on helping her. Just a few more steps, Sam promised herself. Her eyes drank in the markers she had memorised on their arrival; a big rock, a misshapen tree, a patch of flowers among the green woodland. They stepped out into the Stargate clearing and she gave a huff of relief.

Teal'c jogged up to meet them and she realised he must have given her P90 to Jonas because he was only carrying his staff weapon. He moved to her other side and she realised he was positioning himself to support her should she collapse.

She must look terrible, Sam considered wryly.

The blue puddle rippled and she felt a wave of tiredness as they walked towards it. Her legs felt like jello and she stumbled on a patch of uneven ground. Beside her, Jack swore lightly and before she could process it, he'd handed his P90 to Teal'c and he was moving to lift her into his arms.

Her arms went around his neck, automatically clutching at him as her world shifted. She absently thought about protesting but she couldn't muster the energy. She closed her eyes as he carried her the remaining distance and she felt the chill of the event horizon hit her skin.

The disorientation of the wormhole had her head spinning as they exited and she could feel her stomach rolling again in protest. She whimpered, barely aware of the bright lights of the SGC and Jack yelling for medics as she gave into the darkness beckoning her.

o-O-o

Jack's heart hammered in his chest as he yelled for the medics and he was relieved when he saw Janet Fraiser entering the gate room briskly, a medical gurney at her heels. His back and knees protested as he carried Sam's limp body down the ramp and he placed her carefully on the thin mattress. He ignored General Hammond stood off to the side along with Teal'c and Jonas.

The petite doctor stepped up on the other side of the gurney. 'Colonel?' Janet asked impatiently as she checked Sam's pupil reaction. Her hand slid down Sam's neck to check her pulse.

'Nirrti placed her in the gene machine and she almost died. The natives fixed her but she's been dizzy and she threw up on the walk back to the Stargate.' Jack forced the words out, aiming for a dispassionate tone at odds with the way he stayed pinned to the side of the gurney. He gestured tiredly at Jonas. 'You need to check him over too.'

'Who, me?' Jonas's eyes widened in surprise. 'I'm fine.'

'You were in the machine, Jonas.' Jack snapped. 'You need to be checked out.'

Janet nodded. Her eyes snapped to the General. 'With your permission, sir.'

Hammond nodded.

Her dark eyes speared Jonas. 'You too, Jonas.'

Jonas gave a sigh but followed after her.

The General halted Jack as he made to go after the gurney. 'Colonel? The Russian team reported back when you didn't make contact. We were about to send them and a rescue team through.'

Jack's jaw moved as he repressed the retort that sprang to his lips and he shifted his weight impatiently as Teal'c halted his own exit and stood beside him. He had a duty to report, Jack reminded himself. He swallowed his resentment. Carter was in good hands; there was little he could do but hang around the infirmary and annoy the hell out of the doc. He took a step towards the General.

'We managed to get into the fortress but got ambushed by Nirrti.' Jack reported succinctly. He reached into his vest pocket and drew out the dog tags he'd retrieved. 'She tortured Evanov in the machine first. He didn't make it.'

Hammond took the dog tags with a grimace. 'I'll inform the Russians.'

Jack knew it was going to be a difficult conversation especially as the SGC was just about to head into a delicate disclosure of the Stargate programme. They needed to keep the Russians onside. Evanov's death was going to screw with that.

'We promised the natives help and supplies, General.' Jack continued. 'They helped get us out; killed Nirrti.'

Hammond nodded. 'We'll organise a team to go back through and make contact. It would be helpful if either you or Teal'c could go through with them.'

Jack's heart sank but he knew he had a responsibility...

'I will go, General Hammond.'

Jack turned sharply to the Jaffa.

Teal'c ignored him. 'I have no need of rest unlike Colonel O'Neill.'

Hammond's eyebrows rose up his forehead.

'I could go too, General.' Jack sighed, unwilling to admit he'd prefer to stay and check on the others.

The General motioned at Jack. 'Teal'c will suffice, Colonel. Get yourself to the infirmary.'

'Yes, sir.' Jack said. He patted Teal'c's arm on his way out, a thank you for stepping in.

Teal'c inclined his head.

Jack made for the elevator and he was pleased to find it empty. He stepped in and slumped against the back of the compartment, dropping his gaze to the floor.

The mission had been a bust from the get-go. Alebran's intel had been partial at best and they'd made too many assumptions about the willingness of the natives to be rescued. If he hadn't managed to get through to Egar; if Egar hadn't taken the knowledge of how to use the machine...they would have lost Carter along with Evanov.

Maybe they still would.

The thought had him moving; pushing off the back of the compartment and pacing until the doors opened on the infirmary level. He headed straight for the isolation rooms. He was half-way down the corridor when Janet stepped out of one of the rooms. She headed straight for him and he stopped.

'Carter?' Jack asked.

'She regained consciousness.' Janet informed him.

He felt his stomach flip in relief. 'That's good, right?'

'She's resting.' Janet said cautiously. 'We're monitoring her. From what you and Jonas told me, her body underwent a severe shock today both in being altered initially and in being restored.'

'So...'

'So, we can't know the exact side-effects of that. She may continue to experience sickness and dizziness; her condition may improve or deteriorate.' Janet said bluntly. 'This is way out of our knowledge and experience, Colonel.'

Jack's jaw clenched painfully.

'We're going to keep monitoring her.' Janet said firmly. Her determined look reassured Jack somewhat. He tried to let go of the anxiety eating at his gut. Carter was in the best place; if something happened, the doc would take care of her.

'Jonas?' Jack asked.

'We're running several tests.' Janet admitted, pushing her hands into the deep pockets of her white coat. 'Outwardly, he appears to be unaffected. He's in good spirits.' She shrugged. 'If Nirrti altered his DNA in any way, it's not immediately obvious and the tests should tell us more. I've asked him to stay in the infirmary tonight for observation.'

'OK.' Jack said.

Janet motioned with her head. 'Follow me. I'll do your post mission check.'

Jack followed her down the hall into the main treatment rooms without arguing; the sooner he got done, the sooner he was free to check in on his team. He sat through her examination, answering the questions quickly.

She finished her notations and clicked the pen off. 'You're all done, Colonel.'

'Great.' He hopped off the bed, grabbing the jacket he had shucked off at the beginning of the exam.

'Colonel.' Janet cleared her throat.

Jack looked at her questioningly.

'Nirrti's really dead?' Janet asked.

Jack nodded. 'Dead.' He paused as he watched something flicker over her face; a strange mix of relief and guilt. 'Doc?'

'It's nothing.' Janet claimed.

He raised an eyebrow.

Janet's lips twisted and he watched as her fingers clutched the clipboard she held tight enough to turn the knuckles white. 'It's Cassie.' She admitted with a sigh. 'I don't know if I should tell her or to leave it alone.' Her gaze dropped away from his. 'I don't want her feeling responsible for what Nirrti's done to Sam. What she did to Alebran and Evanov.'

'It's not your fault either, Doc.' Jack said hearing the guilt in her voice.

'Sir, Nirrti was released because of me.' Janet insisted.

'Nirrti was released because Hammond agreed to the deal and we honoured it.' Jack said brusquely. Which had been a bad move; he really should have killed the snake as soon as she had saved Cassie. He waved at Janet. 'Don't beat yourself up about it.'

Janet made a face. 'I guess that's easier said than done.' She looked at him knowingly.

Touché, Jack thought tiredly. Because when all was said and done he felt just as responsible as she did. Hell, he'd even walked Nirrti into the gate room and waved her off on her merry way. He gestured at Janet with his jacket and avoided the question. 'Which rooms are Jonas and Carter in?'

She gave a sigh. 'Major Carter is in isolation room 4; Jonas in 5.'

Jack got to the doorway and turned to look at her again. 'You should tell Cassie, you know, that Nirrti's dead.'

Janet nodded slowly.

Jack headed at a brisk pace to the isolation rooms. He got to Jonas's room first. The door was open and he heard Jonas before he saw him, a murmur of low voice that drifted out into the open corridor. The faint sound of a woman's laughter followed it and Jack raised his eyebrows. He rapped sharply on the door and entered.

Jonas sat up straighter on the medical bed as Jack approached. Jack absently noted the Kelownan had been changed into blue medical pyjamas but what caught his attention was the blushing nurse attending to him. She remarked she'd check on Jonas later and ran out.

'Sorry.' Jack allowed himself to be somewhat amused as Jonas smiled sheepishly. 'I didn't mean to chase her away.'

Jonas shrugged. He rested back against the pillows. 'There's always later, right? It's not like I'm going anywhere.'

Jack noted the edge of frustration. 'Better safe than sorry.'

'I feel fine.' Jonas insisted.

'Yes. Well.' Jack waved at him with his jacket. 'You say that _now_.' He searched around for something to cheer the younger man up. 'And hey, you seem to be a big hit with that nurse.'

Jonas shifted position and ducked his head. 'I can't believe I was just joking with Sam this morning about getting sick so I could be in the infirmary, you know, so I could spend time with Nurse Rush.'

Jack's eyebrows rose steadily up his head and decided knowing which nurse Jonas had the hots for was more information than he needed to know.

'How is she?' Jonas asked.

'Nurse Rush?' Jack shot back confused.

'Sam.' Jonas corrected swiftly. 'I mean, have you heard anything?'

'The doc thinks Carter's just reacting to her DNA being remixed twice in one day.' Jack said crisply. He hoped that was all it was.

'Nirrti didn't do anything to me.' Jonas said. 'She was too interested in, uh, well, making me her consort.'

Jack raised his scarred eyebrow. 'Let me guess; first time being seduced by a Goa'uld?'

Jonas gave an embarrassed smile.

'I should, uh,' Jack motioned toward the door, 'go; check on Carter.'

'Tell her I said hi.' Jonas said.

Jack nodded. 'Jonas.'

The Kelownan looked at him quizzically.

'You did a good job today.' Jack said sincerely.

Jonas looked surprised but he smiled again. 'Thanks, Colonel.'

Jack gave another brief nod of acknowledgement and walked out. He'd meant what he'd said. Jonas was a good addition to SG1. He wasn't Daniel but who was? Jonas worked hard and he was a good kid. He deserved his place. And given that, maybe it was time to cut him some slack, Jack considered.

It was a short walk to Carter's room from Jonas's and Jack was pleased to find it empty except for the occupant herself. She was curled up in a foetal position facing the door. Wires snaked out of the bedclothes and into machines. Jack was reassured by them; it meant the medical staff were monitoring her, keeping her safe, alive.

Sam's eyes opened as he neared the bed and pulled up a stool. He flung his jacket over the seat and sat down.

'How're you doing?' He asked quietly. He scanned her pale face with concern.

'I haven't thrown up again.' Sam replied.

Jack offered her a small smile of understanding.

'Jonas?' She asked.

'He's OK.' He gestured at her. 'Flirting with some nurse.'

She smiled weakly.

'Get some rest.' He ordered softly.

Worryingly Carter didn't argue; she just slowly closed her eyes again. Jack propped his feet up on the lower rung of the stool and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He watched her; allowing himself the luxury.

She had almost died.

The truth of it stampeded through him like a herd of elephants. He'd almost lost her. Again. How many more times would he almost lose her before he actually did? His eyes drifted over her sleeping form as his thumb slid against his palm unconsciously.

'_You made it through. You're going to be alright.'_

'_No, sir; I don't think I am.'_

It wasn't like Carter to be so fatalistic. Her standard response was usually 'I'm fine' even when she plainly wasn't. He didn't want to think about how much the thought of losing Carter scared him; how much it reminded him of her crumpled at his feet and a zat in his hand. His mind careened away from the topic, searching desperately for something else...anything else.

_The feel of her huddled up beside him, her head on his shoulder. _

He dropped his gaze from Carter to the floor. He had suspected for a while that Carter's feelings for him had resurfaced. He had allowed himself to revel in the idea if he was honest, Jack considered with some chagrin. He couldn't deny that part of him liked that she hadn't been able to move on any more than he had.

Jack's lips tightened. Because of her feelings Carter had turned to him for comfort because she was dying – and he knew how much it had cost her to make that one small move yet what had he given her in response? Nothing. Less than nothing. He should have been able to have put his arm around her, to have held her. He could have done it as her friend never mind the man who loved her; he should have done it. Instead, he'd barely acknowledged her, too afraid she would read something more than just friendship into his actions; too afraid she would discover that he still loved her.

She deserved better. She deserved to be loved by someone who could love her openly; who wouldn't think twice about putting his arm around her when she was hurting. And that wasn't him; not while he was her CO and they had a mission which had to come first. Not when he had to protect her with a mask of indifference so she wouldn't be targeted anymore than she already was.

But he could do better at being her friend, Jack thought almost angrily; and he could have this moment with her; just watching over her, making sure she was OK. He made her that promise as he watched her sleep.

o-O-o

Daniel studied the charred remains of the ziggurat with a frown. The last time he had stood in front of the ziggurat he had been with SG1. The memory of it swamped him with a wave of nostalgia and longing. He missed them. More so because he'd just spent the majority of the day with them on P3X367. He shivered remembering how close he'd been to stepping in; how close Sam had been to dying.

'You did the right thing.'

He didn't jump at the sound of Oma's voice beside him. He was getting used to Ascended females turning up seemingly out of nowhere.

'Oma.' He folded his arms into the wide sleeves of his robes. 'What brings you by?'

'I think the question is what brings _you_ by?' Oma returned.

He glanced at her. She had taken her usual mortal form of a mature woman; a brunette with a serene expression and lively intelligence lighting her eyes. He wondered briefly if she had looked the same before she Ascended. She was dressed as he was in Abydonian robes, but hers shimmered with the power of her Ascended form whereas his merely gave off a faint glow. He gave a moment's thanks that neither of them could be seen by Anubis's Jaffa milling around the ruined ziggurat.

Daniel pointed at them. 'Or should the question be what brings them by?'

Oma looked over at the guards. 'Why does it interest you?'

'Why doesn't it interest you?' Daniel retorted with more than a touch of resentment. He was getting tired of getting only questions and no answers.

'I didn't say I wasn't interested.' Oma said softly.

The reply was unusual enough that it caught Daniel's attention.

'But there is a difference between being interested and being able to interfere.' Oma continued smoothly.

'Who said I was going to interfere?' Daniel rejoined.

Oma stared at him. 'Then what are you doing here?'

'I'm interested.' Daniel admitted. He gestured towards the ziggurat where the Jaffa were digging through the rubble. 'Anubis is after the Eye of Tiamat.'

'And he seeks it here.' Oma mused, a small frown creasing her forehead.

'Oh, it's here.' Daniel confirmed dryly.

Oma looked at him quizzically.

'We, I mean SG1, we buried it when we blew up the ziggurat to kill the Goa'uld.' Daniel explained. 'They dig long enough they should find it. That is if it wasn't destroyed in the explosion.'

'It was not.' Oma said with a confidence that told Daniel she knew on some other level than simple knowledge.

'Then by the end of the day he'll have two Eyes. The one he recovered from Hathor's temple and Tiamat's.'

'He is gathering the Eyes?' Oma asked.

He frowned as concern drifted across her face. 'That's not a happy look.'

Oma sighed. 'The Eyes were once part of a weapon capable of destroying all life on a single planet.'

'So I've been told.' Daniel murmured. 'If Anubis gets the Eyes...'

'Then he can rebuild the weapon.' Oma agreed. She drew her robes closer as though chilled despite the desert temperature.

'He would have an incredible advantage.' Daniel commented. 'Against the other System Lords; against Earth...any planet.'

'Yes.' Oma said faintly.

'And that bothers you.' Daniel realised.

One of the Jaffa yelled and Anubis's First Prime Herak hurried over to the site. Daniel ignored the activity, his attention fixed on his Ascended mentor.

'Of course the potential loss of life at the hands of someone that evil bothers me.' Oma said sharply. 'Just because I cannot interfere doesn't mean I'm immune to caring, Daniel.'

Daniel stood slightly stunned beside her. It was the first time that he felt that he'd heard the unadorned truth pass her lips, uncomplicated by cryptic notions or answers within answers. 'I didn't mean to imply that you didn't care.' He said softly.

Oma breathed in deeply, apparently regaining her calm. 'No matter how much we might want to, we cannot interfere.' She shifted with a rustle of her robes. 'I take so many chances Ascending people...'

Her voice shook and Daniel took a step toward her.

Oma sighed. 'I cannot risk anything more.'

'I know.' Daniel reached out to her and as his hand touched her shoulder he felt her power mingle with his. So much older than his; so much deeper.

'Then why are you here, Daniel?' Oma asked again.

Daniel sighed and dropped his hand. He hugged his torso tightly. 'I'm following my path.'

Oma looked at him, her eyes meeting his searchingly. Maybe, he mused, his answer had surprised her.

'Perhaps you are right.' She said.

There was a swirl of sand and light, and in the next breath she was gone.

Daniel blinked. He wondered whether her words were approval, acceptance or something else entirely. There was a yell and Daniel's attention snapped back to the ziggurat: Herak hold aloft the Eye of Tiamat in the blazing sun.

o-O-o

Jack bounded up the metal stairs. He slowed as he neared the General's office as the reason for his summons became clear with the stocky form of Colonel Chekov in the window. He grimaced before smoothing his expression and marching forward. He rapped sharply on the open door and Hammond waved him inside.

'Thanks for coming so promptly, Colonel.' Hammond said as Jack moved to stand beside the desk in an at ease position, legs slightly apart, arms behind his back, his chest pushed out in the black t-shirt he wore with his sliver dog tags glinting against it.

Jack acknowledged Major Davis with a nod before he met Chekov's steely stare. 'Colonel.'

'Colonel.'

Hammond gestured at Davis who left the office and closed the door to the briefing room behind him. 'Colonel Chekov arrived early to be briefed ahead of the meeting in Washington. He has some additional questions about the mission to P3X367 that he'd like to ask you.'

He shot Jack a look that asked him to play ball. They needed the Russians onside in the disclosure hearing which the Russians didn't actually know about exactly, and the last time Jack had crossed Chekov's path the words 'bite me' might have been used.

'Of course, General.' Jack said neutrally, refusing to give voice to the remark that their reports pretty much covered what had happened. His gaze shifted to Chekov who stood stiffly in front of Hammond's desk.

Chekov viewed him with suspicion. 'You can surely appreciate why I have questions, Colonel. Once again, you are in charge of a mission with a Russian team, and once again, one of them does not make it home.'

Jack bristled with the implication and counted to ten in his head before he replied. 'I take full responsibility for Evanov's death.'

There was a stunned silence in the office.

'You take full responsibility?' Chekov sputtered, motioning at him.

'I was in command.' Jack said briskly. 'Evanov was following my orders.'

'Then you admit responsibility?' Chekov pressed.

'As I said in my report, we made too many assumptions based on Alebran's intel.' Jack said. He let his mind go back over it; they'd assumed just because Alebran had wanted them to help him that the other villagers did too; they hadn't known about the additional powers Nirrti had given her followers. He pulled a face. 'We got taken by surprise and it cost us.'

Chekov's mouth was agape. 'I see.'

'I want you to know Evanov died with honour.' Jack continued sincerely. He hadn't really known Sergei but he'd been impressed with him on their short mission together. 'And I'd like to offer my sincere condolences on his loss.'

'Thank you, Colonel.' Chekov said quietly. He scanned Jack's face intently. 'Perhaps it would be safe to conclude that this was simply a terrible tragedy, and that Nirrti is ultimately to blame, hmmm?'

'I think we can agree on that.' Hammond inserted before Jack could speak.

'How is Major Carter and Mister Quinn?' Chekov asked, folding his hands in front of him.

'Jonas Quinn is fine.' Hammond replied. 'Major Carter is at home on medical leave recovering.'

Jack didn't allow any of his personal pleasure show. Carter had been released from the infirmary the day before. She'd had twenty-four hours of her body seizing and vomiting before she had stabilised. Fraiser was satisfied there would be no further repercussions but she'd put Carter on leave for a couple of days to regain her strength before allowing her to return to active duty. Apparently, Nirrti hadn't done anything to Jonas but try and seduce him; his tests had come back clean.

'Please give her my best wishes.' Chekov said formally. He turned to Hammond. 'I will see you tomorrow in Washington, General?'

'Of course.' Hammond said politely.

Chekov made his way out of the office and Jack breathed out silently in relief.

'Thank you, Colonel.' Hammond said with heartfelt gratitude.

Jack shrugged. 'I meant every word, sir.'

'I know you did, Jack.' Hammond sighed heavily as he sat down, the leather chair creaking under his weight. 'I know we promised ourselves that we would run the SGC with integrity, but...' he shook his head, 'we should never have let Nirrti go once she healed Cassandra Fraiser.'

'No, sir.' Jack agreed with him. 'We should never have honoured the deal.'

'Maybe there's something to be said for not making deals with the devil.' Hammond murmured. His blue eyes caught Jack's. 'I know we're all feeling responsible here, Colonel, but the truth is that Nirrti _is_ ultimately responsible for what she did.'

But it wasn't that easy and Jack knew the General knew that. They had knowingly let her loose on the galaxy. 'With your permission, sir.'

For a second, Jack thought Hammond was going to argue before his CO nodded slowly.

'Before you go, Colonel.' Hammond opened his desk drawer and extracted a small white stone used for communication with the Asgard. 'I've briefed Thor on the disclosure and agreed that you'll contact him if it becomes necessary.'

Jack took the stone and gave a sharp nod. He looked at Hammond. 'Good luck tomorrow, sir.'

He made his way out of the office and he took the elevator to Daniel's office where he'd left Jonas and Teal'c. He wondered if he'd ever start thinking about it as Jonas's office – if he should start thinking of it as Jonas's office before dismissing it as unimportant. He strode in and stopped at the sight of Jonas and Teal'c huddled around the computer. He walked up behind them quietly and his eyebrow rose as he realised they were on a dating tips site. OK. So not something he wanted to discuss with them ever. He cleared his throat.

Jonas jumped. 'Colonel.'

'Jonas.' Jack avoided looking at the computer screen.

'Perhaps Colonel O'Neill will be able to answer your question.' Teal'c advised, slipping from his chair to stand beside Jack with a smug expression.

Jack glared at him.

Jonas looked at the Jaffa with horror before darting a hopeful gaze toward Jack.

Jack sighed and waved at him. 'Fine. Ask.'

'Nurse Rush has agreed to go on a date with me tomorrow afternoon.' Jonas explained hurriedly. 'Now, I've read several books on the subject...'

'Of course you have.' Jack muttered, crossing his arms and glaring again at Teal'c who looked serenely back at him.

'...and they all give conflicting information.' Jonas concluded.

'And your question is?' Jack pressed.

'Well, what's usual for a first date here?' Jonas said eagerly, his youthful expression brimming with earnest enthusiasm.

Jack shot Teal'c another look.

'I am unfamiliar with Earth mating customs.' Teal'c said firmly.

Unfamiliar, his ass. The Jaffa was addicted to Oprah.

Jack sighed and looked at Jonas. 'You dated on Kelowna?'

'Yes.'

'So, what's usual for a first date there?' Jack asked briskly.

'Usually you have dinner with your family or, in the absence of family, someone you respect.' Jonas explained happily. 'Many of the customs I've read about Earth mention something similar particularly in Asian culture but it doesn't seem to be the fashion here in the West where...'

Jack held up a finger to stem the tide of words and lecture on Western dating norms. 'Ah.'

'I have thought about taking her to see Doctor Kieran but he hasn't been well recently and well,' Jonas made a face as he crossed his arms, 'I'm not sure Nurse Rush would appreciate being taken to a mental institution.'

The temptation to disagree and encourage Jonas to take Rush to a mental ward on a first date just for the sheer entertainment value whispered at Jack but he ignored it especially given the way Teal'c was staring him down with his 'you will not tease Jonas Quinn in this matter' expression; he reminded himself that he had promised he'd cut the kid some slack and he'd meant it.

'How about a team barbeque?' Jack suggested.

'Really?' Jonas's face brightened.

'Sure.' Jack said easily. They were all off duty in the afternoon and it wasn't as though he'd had plans. 'We can do it at my place. Three o'clock fine with you?'

'That's great.' Jonas said. 'Thank you, Colonel.'

Jack nodded and headed for the door. He decided a strategic retreat was called for before he was asked for further dating advice and had to admit his own lack of a life outside the SGC. 'Call Carter and invite her along; tell her to bring beer.' He called over his shoulder.

If he had to suffer through shepherding Jonas through his first date on Earth, she should too, Jack reasoned smugly.

o-O-o

Sam moved her bishop and bit her lip. She should have moved her knight. Damn. Her blue eyes lifted to look at her opponent and she sighed inwardly. From the way Cassie was staring vacantly out of the window into Sam's backyard, Sam could have removed most of the pieces on the chess board and Cassie wouldn't have noticed. The chess game was their Saturday ritual when Sam was on Earth; Janet had dropped Cassie off on her way to the base a half hour before, leaving with a wry admonishment for Cassie not to tire Sam completely.

'Cass?'

Cassie stirred, her brown hair with its reddish tinge falling over her face as she turned back to the game. She picked up a pawn.

Sam lifted her denim clad legs onto the sofa and tucked them beneath her as she regarded the young woman with concern. 'Something on your mind?'

'Hmmm?' Cassie looked up at her suddenly as though startled. 'Sorry.' She flushed. 'I'm just not really in the mood for this today.'

'We don't have to play.' Sam said, brushing imaginary lint off her blue sweater.

'Thanks.' Cassie put the pawn down and turned back to the window.

'You want to do something else?' Sam asked gently. 'Or do you want to talk about what's bothering you?'

Cassie shook her head. 'I don't want to talk about it.'

'OK.' Sam had a feeling she knew what was troubling the teen but if Cassie didn't want to talk about it, she wouldn't push her. 'Hot chocolate?'

Cassie's gaze slid back to her. 'I'm not a kid.'

'No,' Sam agreed, trying not to feel hurt at the sharp tone, 'but hot chocolate always makes me feel better.' She paused momentarily. 'Or ice-cream.' She didn't mention a glass of wine which was her other standby; Cassie had dabbled with alcohol after Daniel's death and she didn't want to bring it up again.

'Like ice-cream or hot chocolate's going to help.' Cassie rolled her eyes.

Sam raised an eyebrow.

Cassie fidgeted under her gaze, her fingers worrying at the buttons on her blouse. 'Mom told me about Nirrti.'

'Yeah, I figured.' Sam said softly.

'I thought...' Cassie began, her gaze dropping back to the chess game, 'I thought I'd be happy, you know, but...'

'But?' prompted Sam.

'But she hurt so many people.' Cassie's face lifted and Sam's heart clenched at the sight of tears glittering in Cassie's eyes. 'Because of me.'

'Oh, Cassie.' Sam patted the cushion beside her and Cassie moved to join her, the need for comfort apparently winning out against the teenage mandate to look cool. She put her arm around Cassie and felt the young girl snuggle into her. She stroked back Cassie's hair. 'It's not your fault.'

'You only let her go because of me.' Cassie argued. 'Because of the deal she made to heal me.'

'Cassie, you are not to blame.'

'But...'

'Look,' Sam said firmly, 'I won't disagree that it was the General's decision to honour the deal to heal you that freed her but you had no part in that decision. Your Mom, me, the Colonel, Daniel...we share some of the responsibility for what she did to the people on P3X367 because we argued to let her go but _you_ do not.'

'If I hadn't been sick though.' Cassie murmured.

'You were only sick because of Nirrti's genetic manipulations.' Sam pointed out. 'It's not your fault. OK?'

'OK.'

It might have been said unwillingly but Sam would take it. She figured that she, Janet and everyone else in Cassie's life would have to tell her the same thing and often before Cassie would truly begin to believe it.

Cassie sighed. 'Daniel said the same thing.'

Sam froze. 'Daniel?'

'Yeah,' Cassie said, cuddling closer, 'I had this really weird dream about him last night. He was helping me study, you know, like he used to and...suddenly, in the dream, he just turned to me and said it wasn't my fault.'

Sam rubbed Cassie's back soothingly. 'Sounds like something Daniel would say.'

'Do you dream about him?' Cassie asked bluntly.

Sam pressed her lips together; grief swelling inside her again. It was more muted than it had been in the immediacy of Daniel's death but it still hurt; still had the power to take her breath and make her eyes sting. 'Yeah, sometimes.'

'I miss him.' Cassie said.

'Me too.' Sam admitted thickly.

'Sam?' The word was muffled into Sam's shoulder.

'Yeah?' Sam asked.

'Can we have hot chocolate _and_ ice-cream?' Cassie lifted her head and smiled tearfully at Sam.

Sam smiled back. 'Sure; why not?'

It was a question that came back to haunt Sam hours later when she lay in bed unable to sleep. Too much sugar, she berated herself as she turned over for the umpteenth time, ignoring the thoughts of Nirrti, of Cassie, of Daniel, of almost dying that were chasing each other through her head.

She glared at the clock, willing the neon figures to say something other than zero-one-hundred. This was stupid, Sam thought exasperated. She just wasn't tired. She could get some work done, Sam mused. She had her laptop. There was some analysis work that she could do or a few reports that still needed finalising. Her decision made, she snapped the light on beside the bed and shoved the covers back, intending to head for her small office area. She grabbed her cell phone and stopped abruptly, sitting on the edge of her bed, illuminated by the small puddle of amber light.

Her thumb slid over the smooth plastic of the phone.

She'd always called Daniel when she'd needed someone to talk to in the middle of the night. Not often and not so much in the year before he'd died when she'd been unable to talk to anyone about what was really bothering her given talking about it would mean acknowledging it was a problem. But she had called him in the past. Her lips twisted. She wondered if he had a number she could call on the Ascended plane.

Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as she recalled the Colonel's offer that she should call him instead of Daniel if she couldn't sleep. Her fingers tapped along the plastic. Bad idea, Sam, she told herself brusquely. The Colonel had probably only made the offer to be polite. And even if he'd meant it, it didn't mean she should take him up on it. She'd already given away too much of what she felt with her cuddling up to him in the cell. If she called him he would _know_.

Nope. Bad idea.

Sam looked at the phone in her hand and shook her head decisively, placing it back on the bedside table. She rubbed her bare knees, acknowledging the chill in the house. Working lost its appeal as she considered the cold walk through to the study. She climbed back under the covers, enjoying the warmth as she tucked herself in again. She reached for the light and plunged the room into darkness.

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dark; to make out the various shadowy forms of her furniture. She stared up at the ceiling, absently tracking a small crack along the far corner.

She should call him.

Sam sighed impatiently at the thought. She should _not_ call him. She turned over and resolutely closed her eyes.

But.

But, nothing.

He had offered. And she couldn't sleep. And maybe it would help if she talked with someone.

Sam snorted into her pillow. Someone, yes. The Colonel, no.

She could call Janet.

Maybe. Except. Janet was her doctor and Sam really didn't want to confess that she was dwelling on almost dying; she was certain if she did, a psych eval would be in her near future. And then there was the fact that Janet was Cassie's Mom, and she didn't want to worry Janet when the other woman was probably already worried enough about how Cassie was taking Nirrti's death. But she needed to tell _someone_.

She shifted onto her back and opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling again. If she called the Colonel about Cassie...that would be OK, wouldn't it? She didn't have to call about her own worries; she could just call him about Cassie. In fact, he'd _want_ to know. He was as fond of Cassie as she was. He'd want to help.

Sam sat up and snapped the light on again. She picked up her house phone and began to dial the Colonel, the numbers familiar and remembered with ease. Her thumb hovered over the last digit as her eyes caught on the clock. Sam grimaced. One-thirty. He was probably asleep. Maybe she shouldn't call him. With a sigh as she lost her nerve, she slapped the phone back into its cradle.

She turned the light off again and pounded her pillow twice before throwing herself down on it.

But there was the outside possibility that he was awake. He sometimes stayed up late watching the stars or watching the replays of some game. And he had offered as a friend; had said she could call if she couldn't sleep.

The light clicked on for the third time.

Sam held her breath as she dialled again. Cassie, she reminded herself; she was just calling him because she was worried about Cassie. The ringing on the other end had Sam nervously pulling up her covers, her fingers tightening on the fabric.

'O'Neill.'

'Sir?' Sam managed to get out hesitantly. He sounded grumpy as though she had woken him up.

'Carter.' His voice changed in an instant, his grumpiness giving way to concern that warmed her, and settled some of the nerves chasing around her belly. 'You OK?'

'Yes, sir.' Sam replied quickly. 'I just...couldn't sleep.' She stared up at her ceiling at the long silence from the other end of the phone. It had been a bad idea to call him, she thought panicked. A really bad idea. She should just make her apologies and put the phone down. 'I'm sorry, sir, I shouldn't have called...'

'Carter.' He interrupted her briskly. 'I distinctly remember telling you to call me if you couldn't sleep.'

She let out a short breath of relief.

'And what are friends for if you can't be not asleep together, right?' Jack said.

Friends. The word ran through her like a honed blade. Stupid to want more. So stupid. Why couldn't she just accept his friendship? Her throat closed up and she struggled to get the words out. 'Right, sir.'

There was a rustling noise as though he was getting comfortable and she pictured him in her head, turning over in his bed to lie on his back, putting the light on. 'So, what's on your mind?'

Sam shook her head, erasing the picture of him. 'Cassie.' She blurted out. 'I'm worried about Cassie.' Smooth, Sam, she berated herself. Couldn't she just have a normal conversation with the man?

'What about Cassie?'

Sam took a deep breath. 'She was over today. She blames herself for Nirrti hurting everyone. I told her it wasn't her fault.'

'Let me guess; she didn't go for it.' Jack said dryly.

She smiled at his understanding. 'She said she was fine when she left but...'

'But as fine means not fine in Carter language,' teased Jack.

Sam slid back down under the covers, holding the phone against her ear. 'I just think Cassie could do with some cheering up.'

'Hey, why don't you invite her along to this barbeque thing tomorrow?' Jack suggested.

'Really?' Sam blurted out. She felt a touch of sympathy for Lieutenant Stacey Rush. She rather doubted that a barbeque with Jonas's team-mates, two of which were ranking officers, was Rush's idea of a first date. Add in her boss's daughter...

'Sure, the more the merrier.' Jack said. 'It'll even up the numbers.'

'You mean of men and women.' Sam said unthinkingly.

'No, aliens to humans.' Jack quipped.

Sam laughed out loud. 'Are you sure this barbeque is a good idea, sir?'

'I think it's better than him taking her to see old Doc Kieran in the mental hospital.' Jack replied.

'He really wasn't...' Sam began.

'No, he really wasn't but he had thought about it.' Jack replied. 'It's a Kelownan thing, Carter. Apparently it's a tradition that they take their dates to meet the family first time out.'

'So we're standing in for Jonas's family.' Sam realised.

'Well, we should check her out.' Jack said. 'I mean, she's going to be dating Jonas and what do we know about her really except that she's good with the big needle?'

She caught the hint of truth in his words; the innate protectiveness that he had for his team. 'That's sweet, sir.'

'Did you just call me sweet?' He sounded scandalised.

'Uh.' Sam smiled widely. 'No?'

'Carter, I am not sweet.' Jack stated firmly.

'No, sir.' Sam replied, trying and failing to keep the laughter out of her voice. She decided on a strategic change of subject. 'Will you call Cassie, sir?' Sam figured Cassie would accept the invitation if it came from Jack.

'Now?'

Her smile widened. 'I was thinking later this morning at a more reasonable time.'

'Right.' Jack said. 'I knew that.'

There was a comfortable pause.

'Do you think Daniel misses us?' The question tumbled out before Sam could stop it and she held her breath in the silence that followed.

'I do.' Jack said.

It was such a simple and straightforward answer that Sam smiled. The silence stretched and she realised with some surprise that she felt sleepy; that somewhere in the conversation her body had let go of all the nervous tension that been keeping her awake.

'You think you can sleep now, Carter?'

'Yes, sir.' She hung onto the phone though, reluctant to end the conversation; reluctant to let go of the comfort of knowing he was on the other end of the line.

'You know you should probably hang up.' Jack pointed out.

She should; she knew she should. ''Night, sir.'

''Night, Carter.'

Sam slowed lowered the phone back into its cradle to end the call. She reached up and flicked the light off again. She huddled under the covers and closed her eyes, the conversation playing over in her head and making her smile again. Maybe being friends with him was good enough, she determined as she slid into sleep.

o-O-o

Jack heard the dull tone in his ear and reluctantly depressed the button to end the call. He turned onto his stomach and dropped the phone onto the floor beside the bed as he smushed his face back into the pillow and closed his eyes.

He hadn't been sleeping when she'd called him and there was a dazed sense of wonder that she had. He grimaced, knowing he'd probably emphasised the friends thing too much to cover his own pleasure in her calling but...but it seemed to have worked. She'd even called him sweet. Which he wasn't.

And he wasn't smiling.

Nope. Not smiling because Carter had called him sweet about the Jonas thing, or that she had called him because she couldn't sleep, or because she was just alive and breathing and that made everything OK with his world. They were friends, team-mates. That was all; all they could be. But that was OK because as her friend Carter had called him in the middle of the night. Which was so not a reason for smiling. And he wasn't smiling about Carter calling him, he wasn't: he was just...smiling.


	40. Continuing Admissions

**Author's Note: **Jonas/Team friendship. Jonas/Lt Rush. Cassie & Jack friendship. Sam/Jack UST.

**Disclosure Recap:** _Delegates from France, China, England and Russia meet with General Hammond and Senator Kinsey. They are informed they are there to be briefed on the Stargate programme and Colonel Chekov admits Russia has known about it for some time. At first, the delegates are disbelieving but very quickly become outraged at what they perceive to be the US's arrogance. Kinsey further stirs the pot by calling attention to the close calls that Earth has faced since the beginning of the programme. When the delegates, especially China, note that they cannot envisage keeping the Stargate secret and certainly not in the hands of the US Air Force, things seem to be going very badly. As a compromise, Kinsey suggests that the Stargate be given to the NID, as it is a civilian oversight organisation._

_During a break, Major Davis informs Hammond that Kinsey is about to move from appropriations to the Intelligence Oversight Committee. Kinsey is manoeuvring to gain control of the Stargate himself. Hammond notes that he may have an ace to play._

_When the delegates resume, Thor beams in and delivers a fulsome backing for Hammond, SG1 and the SGC. He informs the delegates of the Asgard plans to outfit the Prometheus with Asgard shields and weapons as a sign of their friendship in the wake of SG1 saving the Asgards and Earth from the Replicators. Thor notes that while the Asgard's continuing relationships with Earth aren't reliant on the Stargate remaining with Hammond and SG1, it is preferred. _

_The delegates agree that for the time being the Stargate will remain in the hands of the US Air Force, and Kinsey congratulates Hammond on his political game-play._

**Continuing Admissions**

Jack O'Neill opened his front door with a flourish and grinned at the two women standing on his doorstep.

'Major.' His eyes always went to his team-mate, Samantha Carter, first, and today was no exception; he let his gaze briefly travel over her giving nothing away of his appreciation for the way her jeans hugged her long legs or how the blue in the sweater complimented her eyes.

Sam smiled back at him and juggled the brown bag of groceries she held. 'Sir.'

'Geez, it's the weekend and we're going to barbeque. Can't you guys call each other by your names like normal people?' Cassie Fraiser exclaimed, even as she stepped forward to hug him. She was dressed in a similar fashion to Carter with a green sweater instead of the blue. She looked like a kid though and not a woman despite her bright purple nail varnish and the make-up she'd used.

Jack squeezed Cassie lightly before he dropped a kiss on her forehead. 'That would assume that Carter and I are normal people.' He said lightly. Not to mention that being on a first name basis would just create too much intimacy between them given their working relationship and military ranks, and the less than professional feelings they had. He'd given Carter permission a long time ago to call him 'Jack' off-duty but she rarely, if ever, did and he understood why – he called her Carter and not 'Sam' for the same reason; maintaining an appropriate distance.

'I guess you're right.' Cassie said with a cheeky grin. 'You're definitely not normal.'

Jack pretended outrage. 'Hey.'

Carter rolled her eyes at them and made her way inside the house. Jack reluctantly let go of Cassie as she made to follow her and closed the front door. He ambled back towards the kitchen where they were unpacking groceries; Carter passing out items that Cassie stacked neatly on the counter.

'Salad?' He asked, injecting a note of horror into his voice. Usually he didn't bother with salad when he barbequed; usually he didn't have salad stuff stocked in his refrigerator to bother with.

'Mom says salad's good for you.' Cassie said primly, shooting him a look over her shoulder.

'Oh, well if the Doc says so.' Jack teased.

'You can't have a barbeque without salad.' Cassie argued good-naturedly, waving a carrot at him.

'I beg to differ.' Jack said. He'd had plenty of barbeques without green – or orange – stuff on the side of his burger or dog.

'Janet's orders, sir.' Sam said briskly and he sighed in grudging acquiescence. 'But we also got cake.' She brandished the cake box.

'Carter, you're my hero.' Jack exclaimed, not completely oblivious to the blush that brightened her cheeks at his words as he reached over to take it from her and lifting the lid. 'Vanilla cream?'

'I wanted chocolate.' Cassie said, taking the box off him.

'No way!' Jack snagged it back. 'Vanilla over chocolate any day.'

'Sam said you'd prefer the vanilla.' Cassie took the cake back and Carter intercepted it before Jack could make another grab at it.

'Why don't I put this somewhere safe?' Sam suggested dryly.

'I guess that's OK.' Jack winked at her and she ducked her head to hide her smile. The cell phone rang in the den and he waved at them as he made to leave. 'By all means, knock yourselves out making salad.'

He practically skipped the distance from the kitchen to the den. He should probably thank Jonas Quinn when he arrived, Jack thought with amusement. If it hadn't been for the Kelownan's confusion on what to do for a first date on Earth, Jack might have been facing a Sunday afternoon of doing nothing more than watching TV and drinking beer. Instead he had two of his favourite people in his kitchen and they'd brought cake. He picked up the cell and flipped it open.

'O'Neill.'

'Colonel.' George Hammond greeted him formally.

'Sir.' Jack hoped that it wasn't an emergency. 'Everything OK in Washington?'

'Thor's visit did the trick.' Hammond said bluntly. 'I thought you'd want to know.'

'So, the programme?' Jack lowered his voice.

'Safe. For the time being.' Hammond sighed heavily. 'Although I believe if it hadn't been for Thor's intervention, Senator Kinsey could have been successful in his attempt to secure the Stargate for his own purposes.'

Jack grimaced. 'I'll let Thor know.'

'Thank you, Colonel.' Hammond said his goodbyes and Jack ended the call. He hurried over to the mantel and picked up the Asgard communication stone. He'd figured it was decorative enough that anyone would assume it was just an ornament. He tapped it gently and it glowed.

'Hello?'

There was a flash of bright white light and when Jack's vision cleared, Thor stood in the middle of the room.

Carter hurried into the living area. 'Sir, are you...' she stopped abruptly at the sight of their Asgard visitor. A smile brightened her face. 'Thor!'

'It is good to see you again, Major Carter.' Thor said warmly. He turned to Jack. 'O'Neill. You wished to speak to me?'

'Just to say thank you.' Jack said, gesturing at him. 'General Hammond just called me. Your intervention worked.'

'I am most pleased to hear that.' Thor said.

'Woah!' Cassie said loudly. 'Is that...?'

'Thor, Cassie; Cassie, Thor.' Jack introduced them succinctly. Maybe contacting Thor in the living area hadn't been such a good idea. Maybe he should have sneaked away to the bathroom.

'Are you here for the barbeque?' Cassie asked excitedly as she walked to stand beside Sam.

'Oh, hey,' Jack gestured at Thor, 'you're more than welcome to join us.'

'Another time perhaps.' Thor said politely. 'I have much preparation to do before the installation of the shields and weapons.' He turned to look at Sam. 'I am looking forward to working with you again, Major Carter.'

'I'm looking forward to it too.' Sam said brightly.

'She's like a kid the night before Christmas.' Jack agreed.

Thor looked at him blankly. Jack shot Sam a look and she bit her lip as though to prevent herself from smiling.

'She's, uh, excited.' Jack explained.

'As am I.' Thor said calmly. 'It will be fascinating to examine your technology.'

'Fascinating.' Jack said dryly. He looked at Sam again and she smiled back at him. He turned back to Thor. 'Are you OK beaming Carter to Nevada as arranged?'

'I will.' Thor inclined his head. 'Major Carter can communicate when she is ready for transport with the stone.' He beamed out before Jack could reply.

Jack tossed the communication stone to Carter and wasn't surprised when she caught it one-handed. 'All yours, Carter.'

'Thank you, sir.' She looked at the stone with a frown.

'Look at this way, Carter, at least you won't end up in front of McKay half-naked.' Jack said.

Sam's eyebrows shot up as Cassie's mouth dropped open.

Jack looked at them both. 'What?'

'Been having shower beam-out nightmares by any chance, sir?' Sam asked, smirking at him. She caught Cassie's look of incomprehension. 'Thor has a habit of beaming us up without any notice.'

Cassie wrinkled her nose. 'That has to be annoying.'

'Oh yeah.' Jack agreed wryly.

She spun back around and made for the kitchen again.

Jack was left with Carter who was continuing to smirk at him. If only she knew his nightmare was actually a fantasy wish that Thor would deposit her half-naked in front of him one day. As if she knew what he was thinking, she blushed and dropped the smirk.

'Shouldn't you be lighting the barbeque, sir?' Sam asked pointedly.

'Barbeque. Right.' Jack wagged a finger at her. 'I knew there was something.' He turned on his heel and headed out to the grill. It didn't take more than a few moments to get the fire burning fiercely. He wafted a hand over the metal grid to clear the smoke. It would need to cool down before they cooked the meat.

He made his way back inside and stopped in the middle of the den when he glanced through the open hole in the internal wall. He had a clear view through the dining room and into the kitchen where he could see Carter passing Cassie some tomatoes to chop and the way the young woman's eyes rolled in response. It was making salad; a mundane domestic chore, something that shouldn't have caught his attention, and yet it had.

His eyes dropped on a wave of longing as a fragment of a memory shot through him.

'_Why don't you tear up the lettuce, Charlie?' Sara handed their son the bright crisp green oval as Jack entered the kitchen._

'_I don't like salad.' Charlie complained. _

'_Charlie...' she started to protest._

'_And neither does Dad.' He said triumphantly._

_Sara looked at Jack exasperated._

'_He's right.' Jack said, grinning. He ruffled Charlie's hair as he leaned over to kiss his wife's cheek softly. 'I don't.' He picked up the cigarette packet and the lighter he'd discarded on the counter earlier. 'I'm going to light the grill.' And sneak a smoke; Sara wouldn't let him smoke in the house anymore since she'd given up._

_Sara sighed but there was amusement in her eyes not irritation. 'You could try and be a good example.' She complained with mock sternness._

'_That's what Moms are for.' Jack said easily, winking at Charlie who grinned back at him. _

'Jack?' Cassie waved a hand in front of his face.

Jack started. 'Sorry.' He gestured at her as she motioned for him to follow her through to the kitchen. 'What?'

'I can't find bowls.' Cassie complained, glancing at him over her shoulder as though she was concerned. 'Are you OK? You zoned out.'

'Yeah. Just thinking.' Jack said dismissively, hoping she'd drop it. There was no way he was admitting that seeing her and Carter making salad in his kitchen had reminded him of the days before he'd lost his son and pushed his wife away in the aftermath; had him wishing that he, Carter and Cassie were a unit.

Cassie and Carter were family, Jack reminded himself; just not the way he'd been wishing they were – as _his_. Maybe in an alternate universe somewhere Sam stood in his kitchen as his wife and Cassie as his daughter but not in his reality – he just wasn't that lucky or deserving apparently. He was lucky to have them at all, Jack thought sternly as he pushed past Carter and opened a cupboard, pulling out a set of mismatched bowls. 'These do?'

'That's great, sir.' Sam plucked the uppermost one off the top and handed it to Cassie.

Cassie gathered up a handful of salad leaves and dropped them into the bowl.

'What time's Teal'c getting here?' Sam asked.

'He was borrowing a base car. He should be arriving any minute.' Jack said, glancing at his watch.

Sam nodded. 'What about Lieutenant Rush and Jonas?'

'Jonas?' Cassie slowed in dumping salad into its container. 'As in Jonas Quinn, the guy who got Daniel killed?'

Sam darted an anxious look towards Jack before she turned to the young woman beside her. 'Cassie, that's not true, and you know he's a member of the team now and...'

'Yeah.' Cassie snorted. 'And how did _that_ happen?' She shoved the bowl aside. 'Just don't expect me to talk to him.' She marched out of the room. The door to the deck banged loudly as she slammed it.

Sam sighed and made to go after her.

Jack caught hold of her hand, stopping her exit. 'I've got this.'

'I've never spoken to her about Jonas. I didn't think,' Sam admitted, her eyes meeting his with a strange mix of hurt and remorse that made him want to hug her, 'I mean, she hasn't even met Jonas yet and...'

'My fault, Carter.' Jack's hand squeezed hers gently. 'I didn't think anything of it either and it was my idea to invite her, remember?' He'd made the suggestion when Carter had called him in the middle of the night worried about how Cassie had taken the news that Nirrti was dead. The call had made him happy in a way he didn't want to examine too closely. He and Carter couldn't be more than friends and so he valued every moment their friendship got just that bit closer.

Her cheeks went pink but she nodded.

'I'll take care of it.' Jack promised her. He gave her hand another light squeeze and let go. He left before he did something more foolish like kissing her.

He followed Cassie out onto the deck. She sat on the bench beside the house, arms folded tightly over her chest, a mutinous expression on her teenage face.

He dropped to sit next to her. They sat together for a while in silence.

Jack wet his lips. 'We've never talked about what happened with Daniel, have we?' They hadn't. He'd pretty much left everyone to cope with their grief without him; just like after Charlie had died. Hell, he'd only pushed past his own pain to help Carter because he couldn't bear the thought of losing her too.

'Mom told me.'

'What did she tell you?' Jack asked.

'How Daniel saved everyone on Kelowna; about the radiation poisoning.' Cassie said shortly. 'How Jonas didn't do anything to stop him.'

'Do you think he could have done something to stop Daniel from helping?' Jack asked bluntly. 'And do you really think Jonas would be on the team if I thought for one moment he had anything to do with Daniel...leaving?'

'No.' Cassie admitted grudgingly.

Jack leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He clasped his hands together lightly. 'It wasn't Jonas's fault. Even if Jonas had acted instead of Daniel...' he sighed, 'Daniel would probably have gone into the lab with him; probably have still taken a lethal dose of radiation,' he waved one hand in the air, 'and he still would have gone glowy.' If there was one thing he was certain of, it was that.

Cassie sighed beside him; her heel kicked the ground.

Jack made a face. 'Jonas cleared Daniel's name, and he gave up his home, everything he knows to help us.'

'Is that why you let him join SG1?' Cassie asked bluntly.

Jack grimaced. He still quite hadn't worked that one out yet; because Jonas reminded him of Daniel, or because he'd helped save Earth from Anubis, or because he really hadn't wanted a Russian on the team; it was all muddled in his head. 'Honestly; I don't know.' He looked over at her. 'Now, ask me why I let him stay on SG1?'

'Why do you let him stay on SG1?' Cassie replied dutifully.

'Because he saved my life; he saved Carter's life; he saved Teal'c's.' Jack said softly. 'He's earned it.'

Cassie bit her lip.

'Look at it another way, Cass,' Jack said briskly, 'if it had been me or Sam who'd gone glowy and Daniel was around, how do you think he would be treating Jonas?'

Cassie heaved another sigh. 'That's so not fair.' She scowled. 'I like being mad at Jonas.' She kicked at the ground. 'It means I don't have to be mad at Daniel.'

Jack sighed himself. He knew that feeling all too well. He'd pretty much taken the same approach in the immediacy of Jonas's arrival.

'You're going to ask me to be nice to him, aren't you?' Her eyes narrowed on him.

Jack raised a scarred eyebrow. 'What do you think?'

Cassie glared back at him.

'Today's a big deal for him.' Jack explained. 'It's his first date on Earth, first date with Lieutenant Rush...'

'His first date?' Cassie interrupted. 'And he's bringing her to a team barbeque?' Her voice got higher with every word.

'Ah. Well. That might have been my idea. Kind of.' Jack winced at her appalled expression.

'When was the last time you dated, Jack?' Cassie asked. 'I mean; a team barbeque for a first date?'

'It's a Kelownan thing for a first date.' Jack said defensively. He so wasn't admitting to Cassie exactly when his last date had been. 'You take your date to meet your family so they can check her out so I thought; team barbeque – same difference.'

'Right.' Cassie snorted. She got to her feet and rubbed her arms to warm up again. 'Well, this should be fun.'

Jack straightened. 'Cass...' he said warningly.

'I'll be nice.' She promised. She smiled at him with an innocence he didn't quite believe as she disappeared into the house.

'Yep.' Jack muttered as he followed her. 'That's what I'm afraid of.'

o-O-o

Jonas turned to look at Stacey Rush. She was focused on driving and he used the opportunity to admire her again. Her curly strawberry blonde hair was down and it brushed the top of her denim jacket at the shoulders. Underneath, he could see the flash of a pink blouse. Her legs were encased in the jeans everyone seemed to wear.

She caught him looking at her and smiled. 'What?'

'Have I told you how beautiful you look?'

Stacey laughed lightly. 'You're good for my ego, Jonas.' She shot him a pleased look. 'You don't scrub up too badly yourself.'

Jonas looked down at his khaki pants and green checked shirt. He shrugged. It wasn't as though he had an extensive wardrobe. 'Thank you, and thank you for driving.'

'No problem.' Stacey smiled back at him. 'How are the lessons going?'

'I haven't hit anything yet.' Jonas said dryly, recalling his last driving lesson. 'That's a good thing, right?'

She laughed again. 'A very good thing.' She agreed. 'Who's teaching you?'

'Teal'c.' Jonas smiled as she did. 'What?'

Stacey grinned, her freckled face bright with amusement. 'Come on, you don't think one alien teaching another to drive on Earth, isn't funny?'

Jonas laughed. 'I guess I hadn't thought of it that way before.'

'You know I was beginning to think you were never going to ask me out.' Stacey commented as she took a turning he recognised.

'Well, this is the first time I've asked anyone out since I got here, I mean, to Earth.' Jonas explained. 'I wasn't sure what the protocol was.'

'I'm glad you figured it out.' Her flirtatious hazel eyes met his briefly before she returned her attention to the road.

Jonas smiled contentedly. He pointed at the next turn-off. 'Here.'

Stacey hit the indicator and made the turning smoothly.

'Are you sure you're OK with a team barbeque as a date?' Jonas asked. Nyan had seemed quite surprised by the idea that morning at breakfast.

'I'm OK.' Stacey assured him. 'I mean, it's a little scary, what with Colonel O'Neill and all the rest of your team but they're not that scary once you get to know them, right?'

'Right.' Jonas assured her. He paused as he considered his team-mates. 'Well, yes, they're still all kind of scary but they're nice.' He smiled at her. 'Even the Colonel.'

Stacey shook her head. 'You have no idea how jealous everyone else is going to be that I got to go to a barbeque with SG1.'

Jonas wasn't unaware of the status the team had at the SGC and the glee in her voice had him a little concerned. She had agreed to go out with him before she had known the date was a team barbeque, he reminded himself. Or maybe, whispered the voice in his head, she'd only been interested in him in the first place because of his position on SG1. He dismissed the thought almost immediately.

They pulled up in front of the Colonel's house and Jonas got out, hurrying around to hold the driver's door open for Stacey.

'Thank you.' Stacey reached into the back of the car for the items they'd picked up before setting off for the Colonel's house.

Jonas took the beer from her and she grasped the pie box firmly. They walked up to the wooden front door together and knocked. Jonas smiled at her reassuringly.

The door opened widely and Jack stood there with a wide smile that Jonas could not recall seeing before. 'Hey. Good to see you. Come on in, kids.'

'We brought beer.' Jonas lifted his offering and Jack took it from him deftly.

'And pie, sir.' Stacey said shyly.

'Excellent.' Jack said with genuine appreciation. 'Carter brought salad.'

'Salad's good for you, sir.' Stacey replied with a laugh at his disgusted expression.

'That's what she tells me.' Jack quipped as he ushered them both inside.

'I also brought cake, sir.' Sam pointed out as she walked up to take the pie from Stacey. 'Hi.'

'Major Carter.' Stacey said politely, relinquishing her pie.

'I'll take this into the kitchen.' Sam smiled, shyness mixed with her innate charm, and Jonas slowly let out his breath – he hadn't realised he'd been holding it.

Stacey smiled back. 'Thank you, ma'am.'

Jack waved a hand at the Jaffa in front of the fireplace as he led the way into the den. 'You know Teal'c obviously, and this is Cassie Fraiser.'

Jonas's eyes widened in pleased surprise as the young woman sitting on the sofa got to her feet. She was also dressed in jeans matched with a green sweater that brought out the red in her hair. He'd heard a lot about Cassie from Sam and he'd read the journal on the mission to Hanka and its aftermath. He'd been looking forward to meeting her. 'Hi.' He felt Stacey stiffen beside him and wondered at it as he held out his hand to shake Cassie's.

'I'm Jonas.' He said brightly. 'This is Stacey Rush.'

Cassie smiled but her attention was on Stacey. 'We met at my Mom's Christmas thing last year.'

'I remember.' Stacey said awkwardly. 'Hi.'

'Speaking of drinks, Cass, why don't you and I get some sorted?' Jack said pointedly. 'Ginger ale for you T?'

'Indeed.' Teal'c said solemnly.

'Stacey?' Jack asked.

'I'll have a juice, sir.'

Jack nodded. 'Jonas?'

'I'll have a ginger ale.' Jonas said.

'T, can you check on the grill?'

Teal'c inclined his head. He excused himself and made for the open door out to the deck. Jack jerked his head up the stairs towards the kitchen at Cassie and she followed.

Stacey let out a short breath.

'You OK?' Jonas asked in a low voice.

'Yeah, I just didn't expect the CMO's daughter to be on the guest list.' Stacey whispered.

Jonas looked at her surprised. He hadn't considered her relationship to Cassie as being problematic but he guessed he could see the awkwardness in being at a barbeque with the close relative of someone of importance in a work situation. 'I didn't realise she was going to be here.' He admitted. 'She's supposed to be very nice.' He looked at her uncertain expression and his heart sank. As much as he'd been looking forward to meeting Cassie given her importance to his team-mates not to mention that they had something in common both being displaced on Earth from their home planets, he didn't want anything to ruin the date for Stacey. 'But we could leave, if you want.'

Stacey put her hand on his arm. 'No. It's OK.' She smiled at him. 'Really.'

Jonas nodded. 'OK, then.'

'So,' Jack bounded back down into the den with drinks for Jonas, Stacey and himself, 'here you go.'

'Thank you, Colonel.' Stacey said. 'You have a great home.' She gestured around the room. 'I love the split level.'

'Thank you.' Jack smiled at her. 'And please, I think we can lose the ranks for an afternoon; call me Jack.'

Jonas could see the surprise on Sam's face as she overheard the Colonel's statement as she came down the stairs her hands filled with salad bowls. Cassie followed her with three drinks carefully balanced in her hands. Jonas surmised they were for her.

Jack seemed to realise Sam was there because he darted a look at her. 'That OK with you, Carter?'

Sam didn't reply to him directly but motioned at Stacey as she crossed the room. 'Call me Sam.'

'And I'm Stacey.' She gestured at the bowls. 'Can I help with anything?'

'No, we're good.' Sam said. She disappeared out onto the deck, Cassie following in her wake.

'Just kick back and relax.' Jack said, motioning wildly. 'And now, if you'll excuse me I have some meat I have to burn.' He gave them a lopsided smile and made his own retreat.

Stacey smiled at Jonas. 'He's actually quite charming, isn't he, underneath all the gruffness?'

Jonas raised his eyebrows a little. He gestured at the door. 'You want to go outside and join them.'

'Sure.' Stacey fell into step beside him and they made their way outside.

It wasn't cold outside, the sun was shining and the sky was a brilliant blue. But it wasn't overly warm either and Jonas felt Stacey move closer to him as they took their places at the table. He enjoyed the way she inched closer until their bodies pressed nicely together hip to shoulder, knee to thigh.

Jonas smiled at her and felt her hand come to rest on his thigh as she winked at him.

The meat was beginning to cook and the scent of the roasting flesh had Jonas's mouth watering and he turned back to his smirking team leader grateful for a distraction. 'Smells good.'

'Now.' Sam agreed.

'Was that a comment about my barbequeing skills, Carter?' Jack teased, wielding the tongs at her.

'Of course not, sir.' Sam replied insincerely, smiling at him.

Stacey cleared her throat. 'So, I noticed The Simpsons tapes in the living room. Are you a fan?'

Jack brightened and nodded. 'You?' He pointed with his beer bottle.

'I love the show.' Stacey agreed.

'That's the one with the yellow cartoon characters, right?' Jonas asked, joining in the conversation.

'Yep.' Jack answered. 'It's a classic.'

'I don't think I've watched it yet.' Jonas admitted. He'd watched a lot of films mostly following Teal'c's and Nyan's suggestions.

Jack pointed the tongs at Teal'c. 'That's your fault. Filling his head with Star Wars.'

Teal'c glowered at Jack momentarily before turning to an amused Stacey. 'Do you not enjoy the Star Wars films, Stacey Rush?'

'I do.' Stacey smiled. 'Who hasn't wanted to be Princess Leia?'

'You did?' Jonas asked.

'Sure,' Stacey said, 'she got to shoot bad guys and save the galaxy. Who wouldn't want to be her?'

'I know someone just like her.' Jack's eyes landed on Sam who lowered her gaze.

'So,' Cassie said suddenly, leaning back in her seat at the table and tapping her glass of juice impatiently, 'would you choose to date Hans Solo or Luke Skywalker?'

Stacey looked at Cassie as though startled by the question. 'Well, I...'

'Isn't Luke like her brother?' Jack interrupted, taking a gulp of his beer.

'Indeed.' Teal'c nodded sagely. 'It would have been most unwise for Princess Leia to have chosen Luke Skywalker as her romantic interest.'

'I didn't mean Leia,' Cassie said, 'I mean, Stacey. Who would Stacey pick?'

They all looked at their guest.

Stacey shrugged, a hint of a blush on her cheeks. 'I do have a thing for Harrison Ford.'

'How about you, Sam?' Cassie smiled sweetly. 'Who would you pick?'

Sam choked on her drink. She waved away their concern as they moved to assist her. 'I'm fine.'

'So?' prompted Cassie.

'Yeah,' Jack grinned, 'so?'

Sam glared at him before she turned back to Cassie. 'Hans Solo. He had the Millennium Falcon.'

Cassie raised her half-filled glass and gestured at Jonas. 'What about you?'

'Me?' Jonas looked at her bemused. He would have thought it was obvious he liked girls. 'I don't...'

'I don't mean who would you choose to date but who would you choose to be?' Cassie explained hurriedly.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow in response and Jonas saw the smirk that the Colonel couldn't quite hide as he turned away to fiddle with the burning meat.

'Luke.' Jonas said, dragging his attention back to the topic. 'I kind of understand him better, I think. We both come from planets in the middle of nowhere, wanting an adventure in space.'

Stacey smiled at him, nudging him with her elbow. Jonas enjoyed the brief contact.

'See that's why I like him too.' Cassie said.

He noticed the speculative look in her eyes and wondered at it.

'I guess you have that in common.' Stacey said. 'Both coming from other worlds.'

Cassie nodded although she didn't look happy at the reminder of her origins. 'What about you, Jack?' She asked, another cheeky grin appearing on her face.

It was Jack's turn to choke. 'Me?' He managed to question when he finished coughing.

'You, sir.' Sam agreed cheerfully, taking advantage of the opportunity to get her own back. 'Who would you choose to be?'

Jack shrugged, his eyes twinkling as Sam ducked her head, hiding her smile. 'Hans Solo.' Another smirk lifted his lips. 'Because he had the Millenium Falcon.'

Jonas smiled. 'Hey, what about you, Teal'c?'

'Master Yoda is the superior warrior.' Teal'c said solemnly.

'He's small.' Jack argued.

'Is size not irrelevant, O'Neill?' Teal'c said, his dark eyes shining with repressed mirth.

'And I am so not going to answer that.' Jack said firmly, flipping the meat.

They all laughed. Sam excused herself, dragging Cassie along with her, to see to the potatoes baking in the oven and Jonas was pleased to see Stacey relax as she fell into a discussion with Jack about The Simpsons.

Maybe everything would work out on their first date after all, he thought happily.

o-O-o

George Hammond breathed a sigh of relief as the limousine pulled away from the White House. He glanced out of the window at the dark sky. It had been a long day. The President had follow-up calls arranged with each Head of State of the nations informed of the Stargate programme and had required Hammond on hand during each. He pressed his lips together. It had been tiresome but it had been worth it. As he had said to Jack earlier that day; the Stargate programme was safe for the time being.

Major Paul Davis shifted on the seat beside him. Hammond noticed the surreptitious look the dark-haired Pentagon liaison darted at his watch. 'Plans, Major?'

The Major flushed; two high blotches of colour appearing over his cheeks. 'Just dinner with a friend, sir.'

Hammond smiled. 'If it's more convenient I can have the driver drop you somewhere else in town other than at my hotel, son.'

'No, it's not a problem, sir.' Davis hurried out. 'Julia will understand.'

'Julia?' Hammond's thin eyebrows rose up his forehead. 'As in Julia Donovan?' The news reporter had been caught up in a plot to steal the Prometheus a couple of months before.

'Yes, sir.' Davis blushed again. 'I think she initially just needed a friendly ear about what happened on the Prometheus and then we started to meet for an occasional drink and,' he caught himself, 'and I have no idea why I'm telling you this, sir.'

Hammond hid his pleasure at the new friendship between Davis and Donovan. And he genuinely was pleased. He knew it hadn't been an easy couple of months for the Major since the Prometheus had been stolen. Davis had been technically in charge of both the assignment to give the news crew access to the spacecraft and to respond to the hostages. Although Davis had done his best, the Prometheus had still been stolen and two valuable prisoners lost. It had only been the intervention of SG1 and the Asgard that had ensured the safe return of the ship. All of which had earned Davis a black mark. For a while it had also looked as though the Pentagon would move to replace him but Hammond had argued fervently against it and luckily he'd had a few senior officers back him including General Vidrine.

'You did a good job with the presentation.' Hammond said, changing their conversation from personal back to the professional.

'Thank you, sir.' Davis said. 'Although I think if it hadn't been for Thor's intervention, Senator Kinsey may have achieved his objective and gained control of the programme.'

'He's determined.' Hammond commented dryly. 'I'll give him that.'

'I would have thought almost being assassinated would have made him reconsider his position.' Davis said.

'I agree.' Hammond said. Unfortunately, it seemed that the Senator's political position had only been strengthened by the assassination attempt and the cover story concocted to explain his survival and to clear Jack's name.

His mind drifted to the evidence stored in his desk against the Senator. He had considered using it a few months before but had been stopped by a voice in his head whispering 'not yet.' He was certain the voice had belonged to the Ascended Daniel Jackson and he had followed its advice. He had to admit that while everything had worked out given Thor's intervention that perhaps it had been a foolish move either to believe that the voice had belonged to Daniel or that he should heed it.

The hotel loomed up ahead and the driver made his way to the entrance, gliding to a stop. Hammond got out, briefly adjusting his cover.

'General.' Davis saluted him.

Hammond saluted back and nodded. 'Have a good evening, Major.'

'And you, sir.' Davis set off along the pavement and Hammond watched as Davis pulled a cell phone out, no doubt to call Julia Donovan and apologise for the delay in meeting her.

Hammond made his way into the hotel, the driver following with his bag. He sighed quietly. It was times like these he regretted Jacob Carter's absence in the capitol. It would have been good to have relaxed over a good meal and shared thoughts with his old friend.

He had just checked in when a familiar form caught his eye and he turned to politely greet the Russian liaison Colonel Chekov, his heart inwardly sinking a little.

'General.' Chekov said formally.

'Colonel.' Hammond replied. He motioned at him with his card key. 'I didn't realise you stayed at this hotel.'

'It is not my usual accommodation. However, I was unable to reserve a place there this visit.' Chekov explained. 'May I buy you a drink, General?'

Hammond's pale blue eyes widened a fraction but he nodded. As much as he didn't want to spend another hour doing a political dance with the Russian, he knew he needed to keep the man on side. He turned to his waiting driver and instructed him to have the bag delivered to the room before he dismissed him. He followed Chekov into the hotel bar.

They took seats at a small round table in a corner alcove. It was private enough that they could talk without being overheard.

Chekov said something in Russian, raising his glass of clear liquid. He must have seen Hammond's questioning look because he smiled. 'Your health, General.'

Hammond raised his glass, the tumbler full of bourbon. 'And to your health.' The alcohol burned its way down his throat and he made a satisfied murmur of appreciation. He set his glass down and regarded the Russian Colonel. 'I didn't get a chance after the end of the meeting to thank you for your support today.'

Chekov gave a small shrug and gestured as though to dismiss Hammond's words. 'Had we known in advance, we could have provided additional assistance in helping you to disclose the existence of the Stargate.'

The hidden rebuke didn't go unnoticed by Hammond. He nodded. 'You would have been informed much earlier but the President only determined that he would go ahead with the disclosure at the last moment.'

'May I ask what prompted the decision?' Chekov asked.

Hammond wasn't fooled by the idle tone. He could see the sharp speculation that coloured the other man's eyes. 'The idea of disclosure was gaining a groundswell of political support especially given problems with our allies in recent cover stories. The President thought it was time.'

'And I presume Senator Kinsey was part of this...political groundswell.' Chekov commented.

Hammond took a sip of his drink to refrain from replying. Regardless of his antipathy towards Kinsey, he wouldn't give the Russians any ammunition against the US.

'I have to admit that even I was surprised by the arrival of, uh,' his eyes darted around the bar, 'our friend.'

Hammond knew he meant Thor as Chekov's gaze moved back to him.

'It is unusual is it not, for them to intervene so directly in the affairs of another?' The Russian continued.

'As he himself said, his friendship would have continued had there been another outcome.' Hammond said mildly.

'But he has a preference for _you_ retaining control.' Chekov noted.

Hammond shrugged easily. He could see why Russia would be concerned at the way the Asgard had supported the SGC retaining control; he had in fact set out to intimidate the other nations by suggesting the Asgard backed _only_ them. He had to admit that though that he had been surprised when Thor had acquiesced to his request, made during a discussion on the planned outfitting of the Prometheus with Asgard shields and weapons. 'I believe he has a fondness for Colonel O'Neill and the rest of SG1. They've risked their lives on several occasions to save his.'

'Ah. Yes. Colonel O'Neill.' Chekov murmured. 'I now understand why he was so ready to take responsibility for Colonel Evanov's death during his last mission.'

Hammond bristled at the implication that Jack had only taken responsibility to ensure the Russians remained supportive during the disclosure. 'He meant every word.' He stabbed the table with a finger. 'He regrets Evanov's death as do I.'

Chekov held up his hand. 'I apologise. It was a poor joke.' He said quietly. 'Even I could see O'Neill meant his words sincerely.'

'I know Jack can seem irreverent but he's a good man.' Hammond said loyally. He doubted the Asgard would be so fond of Jack if he wasn't.

'Doctor Jackson once said the same to me.' Chekov said. He drained his glass and stood. 'It has been a pleasure, General. Until next time.'

Hammond nodded. He breathed a sigh of relief as the Russian left and downed the rest of his drink. Room service, Hammond determined; a nice steak with some fries – he could almost hear his daughter's voice correcting him and insisting on baked potato. He'd call her, he decided, while he waited for the food. He stood up slowly and made his way to the elevators.

The journey to his room took moments and he stepped inside the suite with relief. He barely took in the tasteful decor and the antique furniture. He was just pleased to finally be alone. He pulled off his tie and jacket and made for the telephone in the living room of the suite.

The buzzing sound of a transporter made him freeze and put down the phone as he slowly turned around to see Thor. He swallowed his resentment at the interruption to his plans. He owed the alien a great debt of gratitude after all.

'Thor.'

'General Hammond.' Thor inclined his large grey head, his dark eyes blinking at Hammond. 'Colonel O'Neill informed me that all had gone well with our plan.'

'It worked like a charm.' Hammond confirmed. 'I have to thank you again for agreeing to help.'

Thor nodded. His thin fingers grasped the Queen Anne style chair in front of him.

'Please. Sit.' Hammond said, walking over to sit on the sofa as the Asgard took the chair. 'I have to admit Thor that I am curious as to why you agreed to lend your assistance. I understand you don't usually intervene so directly in the political affairs of others.'

'This is true.' Thor acknowledged. 'And I am certain that there are those on the Asgard High Council that would be most displeased with my action here today.'

'But?' prompted Hammond.

'But I believe it is in the Asgard's best interests to continue working with those we know are honourable.' Thor said.

In other words, better the devil they knew, Hammond thought half-amused.

'Particularly given our decision to share our technology with you.' Thor continued. He gestured at Hammond. He inclined his head. 'Is everything being prepared for the installation as we discussed, General Hammond?'

'Everything is being done as you requested. I know Major Carter is looking forward to assisting you.' Hammond said, recognising the change in the subject.

'I am also like a human infant the night before Christmas.' Thor said.

Hammond looked at him bemused.

'I am looking forward to working with her once again.' Thor clarified. 'She has an exceptional mind.'

'That she has.' Hammond agreed. 'They're an exceptional team.'

'As I believe Teal'c would say: indeed.' Thor said.

Hammond chuckled.

'I owe them my life.' Thor said simply.

Hammond nodded; everyone on the planet owed SG1 their lives, several times over. He sighed. 'They've been through a lot this last year.'

'The loss of Daniel Jackson was most difficult for them.' Thor commented.

Hammond nodded. 'I won't pretend otherwise.' He admitted. He gave a small smile. 'And I won't deny that I would have liked his expertise today myself. Daniel had a way of convincing people to do the right thing.'

'Not just people.' Thor said.

Hammond looked at him curiously. 'Thor?'

'All I can say,' Thor said dryly, 'is that despite the constraints placed upon him as an Ascended being, I believe that Daniel Jackson has continued his work to ensure the safety of Earth.'

Hammond stared at him. Thor had seen Daniel, he realised, his heart pounding with the realisation. They'd had interactions with Ascended beings themselves before so it wasn't unthinkable that the Asgard had seen Daniel in his Ascended form.

His mind raced. They had been told the Asgard had changed their mind about giving them technology upon realising that Anubis had effectively broken the Protected Planets treaty when he had attacked Thor. He was beginning to wonder if Daniel Jackson hadn't had some part in helping them come to that realisation. The archaeologist had known the treaty better than anyone else.

Thor rose smoothly to his feet. 'I have taken up enough of your evening, General Hammond. I will contact you tomorrow ahead of the installation.'

'One question, Thor.' Hammond stood up too. 'Is he OK?'

Thor's wide eyes blinked at him innocently. 'I believe he is, General Hammond.' The bright white light zapped him away before Hammond could ask anything further.

Hammond sat back down.

A slow smile spread across his face. His own doubts about hearing Daniel's voice in his head disappeared. He was more certain than ever that it had been Daniel Jackson, and he trusted him. He debated briefly whether to inform SG1 but dismissed the idea. They had only just healed from the archaeologist's departure and he didn't want to open up old wounds. Moreover, Hammond didn't have proof nor any explicit confession from Thor that Daniel had been involved with the decision to give them technology. It seemed such a fanciful notion that Daniel would continue to watch over them as an Ascended being.

Fanciful notion or not, Hammond thought firmly, it certainly made him feel better. And if it had been Daniel who had spoken the words 'not yet' perhaps he had been right. After all, the Stargate programme was safe from Kinsey's machinations for another day without Hammond using the evidence he had saved. Perhaps, Hammond considered thoughtfully, there would be another opportunity to bring Kinsey down, or a better time for Hammond to play the remaining ace up his sleeve. He patted the arm of the sofa softly. He could wait. He'd managed to outwit Kinsey during the day's events; he could do it again.

o-O-o

'Maybe she wants to date Jack.' Cassie's stage-whisper to Sam reached Jonas's ears as he approached the kitchen.

'Cassie.' Sam's tone held a warning that mothers the galaxy over seemed able to convey without effort. Jonas remembered his own mother speaking to him with the same note if he was in danger of pushing his luck.

'I'm just saying,' Cassie murmured, 'between the Harrison Ford thing, The Simpsons and now hockey?'

Jonas couldn't blame her. He had just watched, as Cassie had, Stacey joking with the Colonel about some hockey reference as he helped the others clear the dishes away. A lump formed in Jonas's throat that he resolutely ignored. So Stacey loved hockey along with The Simpsons. She had ensured Jonas was part of the discussions too, explaining things to him as they went, Jonas told himself briskly. But it didn't help the encroaching feeling of exclusion the more time Stacey continued to dwell on the topics closest to his team leader's heart – topics that Jonas had little interest in.

Jonas made the plates clatter audibly as he took the final steps into the kitchen.

Sam greeted him with a sympathetic smile. She looked strained herself; white lines of tension bracketed her mouth and eyes. 'I think it could be time for dessert.' She said with false bravado. 'What do you think?'

'Sure.' Jonas attempted a smile. It wasn't her fault his date had gone so badly. It wasn't even the Colonel's – he'd been nothing but a gracious host all day. Sam and Teal'c had both tried to introduce other topics as had Cassie. Perhaps the young girl had gotten it right; maybe Stacey would prefer to be dating Jack O'Neill.

'Cassie's wrong, you know.' Sam's voice nudged him out of his introspection.

Jonas looked up and belatedly realised that he was alone with Sam in the kitchen. Cassie must have been dispatched with the pie given it was missing from the counter. He feigned innocence. 'About what?'

'Stacey likes you.' Sam said. 'You can tell.'

'You can?' Jonas blurted out the question. Somehow in the last few hours he had begun to doubt that.

Sam nodded and dropped her gaze as she manoeuvred the cake onto a large plate. 'I think she's just...a little in awe of the Colonel.' She licked her thumb where the cake icing had gotten smudged.

'I don't know half the stuff they're talking about.' Jonas remarked as he picked up the smaller plates she indicated.

'It doesn't mean anything, Jonas.' Sam said comfortingly. 'It doesn't change that she came here with you.' She pushed him gently in the direction of the den. They had come inside after eating, the falling temperature a signal to seek the warmth of the indoors.

Jack gazed at the cake, rubbing his hands with glee and making Jonas smile, as Sam put it down. 'Now, this was what I was waiting for.' His dark eyes met Sam's and she smiled, the tension draining out of her expression for a moment.

'What about a slice of pie, Jack?' Stacey asked, interrupting the moment.

Cassie gestured with her drink. 'It's chocolate. He prefers vanilla cream.'

'It's not a competition.' Jack said mildly. But Jonas noticed the way his eyes remained on Sam. 'But I admit; vanilla cream's my favourite.'

'I'll have some pie.' Jonas said quickly, seeing Stacey's disappointment.

Stacey grinned at him. 'You prefer chocolate?'

'I do.' Jonas said with absolute truth. 'We don't have chocolate on Kelowna.'

'Nor I on Chulak.' Teal'c said. 'I will also have pie.'

'We didn't have it on Hanka either.' Cassie said as Stacey leaned forward to cut Jonas a section of pie. 'We had pinbar.'

'Pinbar?' Jonas asked curious.

'It was a dark, sticky cake. Kind of like fruit cake here but much, much better.' Cassie sighed. 'I miss pinbar.' She gestured with her glass and it flew out of her hand.

Jonas watched as the glass landed squarely in the pie, sending the chocolate cream splattering, and the last liquid contents of the glass arching through the air. It all landed over Stacey.

For a second, nobody moved.

Stacey looked down in horror at her ruined blouse and splattered jeans.

'Oh my God!' Cassie clapped a hand over her mouth. 'I am so sorry!'

Jack's lips twitched as he got to his feet; Jonas noticed Sam was already moving to right the glass, Teal'c to whisk the ruined pie away.

'Carter, maybe you can find something for Stacey to change into? I think I have some of Daniel's old sweats in the spare room closet.' Jack suggested.

'Yes, sir.' Sam gently took hold of the other woman and led her away.

Jack looked at Cassie and Jonas wondered at the look of admonishment on his face.

'I swear,' Cassie said, holding a hand up as though she was taking an oath, 'it was an accident.'

'It's not your fault.' Jonas said. 'Let's face it, it wasn't going well before...' he waved toward the scene of the accident. 'She has more in common with the Colonel than me.'

Jack winced visibly at Jonas's assertion. 'Jonas, she's just trying to impress a senior officer; that's all. She's not actually interested in me. Believe me; I've seen it a hundred times before.'

Jonas could see the belief in what he'd said in the Colonel's brown eyes. 'Maybe.' He allowed. 'But, no offence, Colonel; I kind of hoped my date would spend more time talking with me than with you.' He pushed a hand through his hair. 'If you'll excuse me, I think I'll get some air.' He walked out before anyone could stop him.

He sat on the edge of the deck, his legs dangling a good few feet off the ground as he stared across the Colonel's backyard. He wasn't surprised to hear the door open behind him – he'd expected someone to come out and talk with him. He was however surprised at who it was.

Cassie sat beside him and let her legs swing back. They thumped into the wall below. 'You overheard me talking with Sam.'

Jonas shrugged. 'You only said what I was already thinking.'

'I was being mean.' Cassie blurted out, gesturing at him.

Jonas looked at her surprised at the confession.

'I really, _really_, didn't mean to drop my glass and ruin her blouse,' Cassie rushed out hurriedly, 'but before in the kitchen,' she bit her lip in a way that reminded Jonas of Sam, 'I was just being mean to you.'

'Why?' Jonas asked confused. What had he done to make her want to be mean to him? It didn't make any sense.

Cassie looked at him as though he was stupid and he suddenly got it; Daniel Jackson.

'Oh. Well. I can understand that.' Jonas said softly. He remembered only too well the cold shoulder he'd been given his first few weeks at the SGC when it seemed everyone blamed him for the other man almost dying, leaving; he'd blamed himself – did blame himself.

She sighed. 'I lost everyone once. Mom, SG1...they're all I have left.' She murmured, her gaze dropping to her hands on her lap. 'And I don't want to be mad at Daniel for leaving so...'

Jonas nodded. 'I get it I do.' His voice rang with his own understanding. SG1 was everything he had left too. He held his breath because he knew if she made them choose between him and her, he didn't stand a chance.

'But I like you and it's very annoying.' Cassie complained, tossing her auburn hair back. 'You kind of remind me of me when I first came to Earth.'

Jonas didn't know quite how to respond to that. 'Thank you?'

She gave a soft huff. Her eyes lifted to spear his. 'Stacey _likes_ likes you.'

Jonas opened his mouth to argue.

'She looks at you when she thinks you aren't looking.' Cassie said before he could say something. 'And she always knows where you are. She sneaked food off your plate and she might have been talking to Jack but she never moved from your side all dinner.'

'So you think her talking to the Colonel...'

'So totally her trying to impress a senior officer.' Cassie agreed, waving a hand in the air. 'Apart from my Mom and Sam, they all do it when Jack gives them the rare opportunity to see him off-base and he isn't just, you know, being scary Colonel O'Neill.' She grimaced. 'You should see my Mom's staff sometimes and she's just a Major.'

'OK,' Jonas said, 'I get that.' He had seen it before when SG1 worked with other teams; the deference of the junior officers, the awe in which they were held. He really shouldn't have been surprised that Stacey felt the same. He shook his head. 'I guess I really didn't think this team barbeque thing through as a first date.'

'Well, that's because you listened to Jack.' Cassie pointed out with a teenage bluntness. 'You really shouldn't get dating advice from him.'

'Why not?' Jonas asked bemused at finding himself discussing his love life with a teenage girl. 'I understand that he's been married in the past.'

'Emphasis on the past as in distant.' Cassie stressed. She grinned at him. 'You want to fix this?'

Jonas nodded.

'Stay right here.' Cassie sprang up and left before he could say a word.

He shook his head in bewilderment. Nothing about the date was going the way he had imagined it. He wasn't sure quite what he had imagined. He'd read so many books on dating; on Earth romantic traditions that he'd gotten confused. It was so different from Kelowna where courtship had a strict set of rules that had to be followed.

The door opened again. Cassie hurried out her arms full of candles. Jonas pushed himself to his feet to help her and she tumbled the lot into his arms.

'Teal'c always keeps a stock here. He says you can have them. Put them out.' She ordered briskly. 'I'll get a light for you.'

She was as good as her word; within moments the deck had been transformed by a blaze of candlelight. He was just blowing the taper out when she arrived back again with some drinks.

'Just stay here. I'll go and get Stacey now – I told Sam to stall her.' Cassie said firmly. She pointed at the sky. 'Sunset. We'll leave the two of you out here alone for the rest of the evening.'

'Cassie.' Jonas stopped her with a wide smile. 'Thanks.'

Cassie grinned back at him and disappeared through the door. Jonas sat back down. He got up when the door opened again and Stacey stepped out onto the deck. She was swamped by an oversize sweater proclaiming her allegiance to a University in Chicago that Jonas presumed was Daniel Jackson's. Her jeans had a couple of damp spots where the worst of the mess had been scrubbed off the denim.

She stopped abruptly at the sight of the candles and Jonas reached out for her hand, closing the door with his other before he led her to the edge of the deck.

'Jonas, this is just...incredible.' Stacey said as she gave in to his urgings to take a seat where Cassie had sat beside him a few moments before.

Jonas handed her a glass of ginger ale. 'I thought we could watch the sunset.' He motioned at the sky where the sun was inching towards the horizon, a large golden orb, its colours beginning to seep into the thin grey light and create a swathe of pinks and oranges.

'Just the two of us?' Stacey checked darting a look behind them.

'Just the two of us.' Jonas promised.

Stacey sighed and he could see the relief flicker across her open expression; the way her shoulders dropped an inch. She cuddled closer and he hesitantly put his arm around her shoulder as she focused on the sky ahead of them.

'I'm sorry about your clothes.' Jonas said softly.

'Cassie apologised.' Stacey murmured. 'She, uh, also explained about the Kelownan tradition of taking your date to meet your family.' She turned her head to meet his gaze. 'I'm honoured really.'

'Even though this was a bad idea?' Jonas questioned. 'I mean, I never really thought about how it would be for you being in the company of senior officers.'

She winced visibly. 'I got a little carried away talking with the Colonel, didn't I?'

Jonas shrugged.

Stacey smiled. 'I tell you what. Why don't I make it up to you on our second date?'

'Our second date?' Jonas questioned hopefully.

'And I can show you what a first date on Earth is really like.' Stacey said.

'I'd like that.' Jonas said.

They looked at each other warmly for a long moment. Jonas felt a frisson of attraction skitter over him.

'So, the first thing you should know,' Stacey said, her voice low and soft, 'is that you should always be suspicious of a woman who kisses on the first date.'

'Yeah?' Jonas asked roughly.

'Yeah. She generally wants something.' She shuffled position and kissed him softly on the lips.

Jonas examined her expression and moved to cup her cheek in the palm of one hand. He kissed her again, slowly and thoroughly.

'So,' Jonas asked as he pulled away reluctantly, 'what do you want?'

Stacey smiled brightly at him and tugged him back to her. 'You're doing just fine.'

Jonas smiled widely. 'We're going to miss the sunset.'

'There'll be another one tomorrow.' Stacey commented just before she kissed him again.

o-O-o

Cassie peeked out from behind the curtain and grinned. It looked like Jonas caught on quick. She sighed inwardly. It all looked so romantic. She wondered if she dropped enough hints to Dominic whether he'd do the same for her.

'That's just wrong.' Jack complained beside her as Jonas continued kissing Stacey.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow from his vantage point on the other side of the window. He was busily demolishing the remainder of the chocolate cream pie. 'Do you disagree with his technique, O'Neill?'

Cassie snorted at Jack's outraged look. Jack and kissing? She so did not want to think about that.

'She's wearing Daniel's sweater.' Jack pointed out. 'Don't you think Jonas kissing a woman wearing Daniel's sweater is the least bit creepy?'

'I don't think Daniel would mind, sir.' Sam said dryly. 'Should we even be watching them like this?'

'Probably not.' Jack admitted with a sigh.

They all didn't move.

Jonas suddenly shot them a look and they all stepped away from the window except for Cassie. Sam tugged at her and Cassie moved, rolling her eyes.

'That was a nice thing you did.' Sam said.

Cassie nodded. She liked Jonas and she was pleased she'd helped him fix things with Stacey. She felt a flutter of grief for Daniel but let it simply flow through her. She missed him, Cassie thought with a sigh, but she figured he would have been proud of the way she had helped Jonas. She turned hopefully to Jack. 'Maybe we should go out?'

'Out?' Jack prompted.

'To the ice-cream place on Main?' Cassie wheedled. She looked at Sam. 'They do the most awesome hot chocolate with marshmallows too.'

'I believe it would be wise to leave Jonas Quinn and Stacey Rush alone.' Teal'c inclined his head at Cassie, backing her up.

Jack exchanged a look with Sam who shrugged.

'I guess I'm in for another sleepless night.' Sam said ruefully as she gave in.

Jack winked at her. 'I don't mind.'

Cassie wondered at their exchange and the way Sam blushed. That had almost sounded like...

'Are you not coming with us, Cassandra Fraiser?' Teal'c offered his arm and Cassie took it gratefully, shaking away her thoughts. She snagged her coat by the door as they followed Jack and Sam out of the house.

Ice-cream with her favourite people seemed like a good reward to her.


	41. Good Days and Bad Days

**Author's Note: **Sam/Jack UST. Team friendship. Mild Daniel/Sarah UST. Jonas/Lt Rush.

**Forsaken Recap: **_SG1 is doing a routine mission on a planet to observe a nebula when Jack finds a photo of a woman and they discover a crashed ship, the Seberus. They meet with two men and a woman all claiming to be the ship's crew (Corso, Raynard and Pendar). Tentatively, Jack agrees to help the crew get the ship operational again unaware that they are being observed by two aliens. As Sam starts to discuss the ship with Corso, Raynard spots one of the aliens and fires. A shoot-out ensues; Raynard is injured and one of the aliens dies. Corso explains that the aliens have been attacking him and his crew, killing five others. _

_Sam and Jonas go back to Earth with Raynard where they brief Hammond. Sam gets permission to help and gathers supplies and back-up to return. Jonas remains behind with Raynard. Meanwhile Jack is back on the planet and is increasingly sceptical about the story Corso and Pendar are spinning about the aliens. When Sam and SG15 arrive, SG15 are left to guard the gate, Sam goes with Corso to mend the ship and Pendar, Teal'c and Jack go in search of the alien. _

_Corso flirts with Sam and although she seems flattered, she dodges the question on whether she has someone at home. Teal'c and Jack find working with Pendar difficult especially when they try and capture an alien, and he tries to kill it._

_Hammond tells Jonas that they had a breach in the security system in the infirmary – possibly Raynard trying to find out information. Jonas requests that Hammond allow him to set up a sting. Jonas brings Raynard to his office where lots of gold artefacts are left around on the benches. He clears them away and she kisses him. He's slightly dumbfounded but recovers and leaves her alone in his office when he gets called away._

_On the planet, Teal'c and Jack find an encampment further casting doubt on Corso's story, and Sam gets the ship working. Finally the alien approaches Teal'c and Jack telling him that he is Warrick, a Serrakin and the true Captain of the Seberus. Corso and the others were prisoners who escaped when the Seberus crashed. Meanwhile Sam finds a recording and gets suspicious; although she restrains Corso and gets a message to Jack that they have to talk, she is knocked unconscious by Pendar. _

_Raynard arrives back with Jonas who they zat. Raynard tells them to forget the ship – there's gold through the Stargate. They take Jonas as a hostage leaving Sam tied up in the clearing. Jack, Teal'c and Warrick approach the clearing and see Sam. Warrick goes in to disable the ship's defences while Jack and Teal'c rescue Sam who tells them they're headed to the gate with Jonas._

_At the gate, SG15 are persuaded to put down their weapons as the gang hold Jonas hostage, Reynard puts in an address she got from Jonas's office. Jack arrives but Jonas convinces him to let them go, showing him his GDO. They walk through the Stargate and into the SGC where Corso and his gang are taken prisoner. SG1 return them to Warrick who places them back in stasis before he leaves for his planet, Hebridan. _

**Good Days and Bad Days**

It was turning into a spectacularly good day, Jonas Quinn mused as he walked with a small bounce in his step through the corridors of the SGC towards his office, even better than the previous day. Not that the day before had been bad. The routine mission to examine a nebula had been usurped by discovering a space-ship and foiling a band of thieves, which constituted more than a good day's work in Jonas's book, especially since it had been his plan that had been used to trap them.

He had half-expected that the current day would turn out to be anti-climatic in comparison but Jonas had loved the day so far. Working with Major Samantha Carter to help the alien Warrick complete the repairs to the ship had been great both in terms of what they had learned about the technology and the planet Hebridan. Warrick's race the Serrakin had liberated the transplanted humans there from the Goa'uld some centuries before and the two species co-existed in apparent harmony. It was fascinating. More than that, seeing Warrick depart for his planet with the ship airborne and containing the three prisoners who'd tried to con SG1 the day before had given Jonas huge satisfaction.

He hadn't stopped grinning since their return which had included a debriefing where the praise he'd received from all of his team-mates had been even more satisfying than anything that had preceded it. Importantly to Jonas, it hadn't just been Sam or Teal'c who had said nice things – his team leader had been equally quick to give Jonas credit.

_Credit where credit was due_ had been the Colonel's exact phrase, Jonas remembered as he waved at Nyan who was disappearing down one the end of one corridor as he took another. Along with; _'good thing Jonas worked the whole thing out.'_ Maybe it was wrong to be so happy about what constituted no more than a couple of dozen words but Jonas was ecstatic. They were from the _Colonel_; the man that he had been trying to impress for the better part of a year. Jack O'Neill didn't give praise lightly or often, and Jonas was savouring it.

Of course, General Hammond's praise had been nice too as had the General's trust in allowing him to execute his sting in the first place.

Jonas tapped the wall as he swerved around another junction and into the home stretch. The best part of the day had happened in the infirmary though when they'd been dismissed for their post-mission checks. Namely, he'd run into Stacey Rush. She had teased him a little over the thief Raynard kissing him – something he had _not_ anticipated – and Stacey had suggested that he make it up to her by taking her out to dinner for their third date that evening. Their first had been rescued from total disaster by Cassie Fraiser; their second had gone very well even if Jonas said so himself and he was looking forward to their third. But the meeting had delayed him and both Teal'c and the Colonel had left the locker room by the time Jonas had reached it.

He bounded into his office and stopped abruptly in the doorway at the sight of his three team-mates. They were spaced out around the central workbench. The Colonel sat on his stool on the left apparently fascinated; Sam stood in the middle reading the book upside down, and Teal'c was calmly staring into space.

Jonas frowned, a crease appearing between his brows as he tried to recall if he'd forgotten a team meeting.

Jack suddenly looked up and speared Jonas with dark, guarded eyes. 'There you are.'

Teal'c didn't move but Sam turned round and smiled at him brightly.

'Hey,' Jonas took another step inside, 'did I forget we were meeting?'

'Nope.' Jack shook his head and gestured wildly with an artefact in Jonas's direction, narrowly missing Sam. 'We were just...waiting for you.'

Sam rolled her eyes and plucked the artefact from the Colonel's hands. 'This is probably fragile, sir.'

'Hey.' Jack protested.

'Actually, I'm not sure what it is.' Jonas admitted as he walked over to stand beside Teal'c. 'I think it was once used as a fertility symbol...' he watched as Jack grabbed the artefact back from Sam and held it beyond her grasp, 'passed between the man and a woman during a marriage ceremony.' He nodded at them. 'Kind of like what the two of you have just being doing.'

Jack and Sam both regarded him with identical expressions of horror. Jonas didn't let any of his own amusement show.

Sam immediately subsided, ending up standing beside Jack on the opposite side of the table to the alien members of SG1.

Jack set the artefact down hastily. 'So.'

Jonas looked at him expectantly. Jack looked back at him.

'You were waiting for me?' Jonas prompted.

'Right.' Jack motioned at him. 'We thought we'd take you out for the night.'

'As a celebration for your achievement in capturing Aidan Corso and his accomplices.' Teal'c said solemnly, although his dark eyes twinkled.

'The Colonel's paying.' Sam added.

Jack shot her a pained look but nodded. 'So what d'ya say? We'll pick you up in an hour?'

Jonas grimaced. 'I can't.'

'Can't?' Jack's eyebrows rose up his forehead.

'I, uh, already have plans.' Jonas admitted, feeling a touch of heat burn across his cheeks. Damn it, he thought with chagrin. He was a grown man. He could admit to having romantic plans without blushing like a school boy.

'Plans, you say.' Jack waggled his eyebrows, a mischievous grin lighting his face which Jonas had come to recognise meant teasing.

'With Stacey?' Sam asked, smiling at him.

Jonas nodded and couldn't help smiling back. 'Third date.'

'Third date, huh?' Jack sighed and crossed his arms. 'Getting serious.'

'Cassie says that serious is more like the fifth or sixth.' Jonas replied without thinking.

Jack's brow lowered. 'Cassie doesn't date.'

'Yes, she does.' Jonas replied, bemused by the Colonel's answer.

'No,' Jack said firmly, 'she doesn't.'

'But doesn't she have a boyfr...' Jonas broke off as Jack put both his hands over his ears and began humming loudly.

Sam sighed. She took hold of the Colonel's wrists and tugged his arms back down.

Jack made a face at her that Jonas translated as 'traitor'. She sent the Colonel a chiding look which Jonas pretty much knew meant 'stop being a baby.' She'd given him the same look sometimes. Apparently it worked just as effectively on the Colonel as it did on Jonas because he huffed and looked away.

'You have selected Cassandra Fraiser as your mentor in Tau'ri romantic situations.' Teal'c stated, approvingly. 'A wise choice.'

Jack shot the Jaffa the same 'traitor' expression he'd given to Sam a moment earlier. Teal'c looked impassively back at him.

'So where are you going tonight?' Sam asked, ignoring the interplay of their team-mates and motioning at Jonas across the table.

'Dinner.' Jonas explained. 'Cassie recommended a Thai place on Sixth street?'

'It is an excellent choice.' Teal'c confirmed.

Jack sighed heavily. 'OK. So, tomorrow?'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. 'It is movie night, O'Neill.'

Jonas clicked his fingers. 'Right. We're watching,' he searched his memory for the film's title, 'Bravespirit?'

'Braveheart.' Teal'c corrected.

'Oh for crying...' Jack slapped a hand over his eyes.

'You are more than welcome to join Nyan, Jonas Quinn and I.' Teal'c continued as though Jack hadn't said anything. 'As are you Major Carter.'

Sam gestured weakly across the bench. 'I, uh, I have plans.' Her finger traced up and down the bench nervously.

Jonas glanced at the Colonel who for one brief moment was looking at Sam with shock written all over his face before his expression changed so totally and instantly to his usual guarded mask that Jonas wondered if he had seen it all.

'I could do Friday.' Jonas offered.

'No can do.' Jack said succinctly.

It was Sam's turn to look surprised and although she didn't hide it as quickly, she hid it just as well as the Colonel.

'Saturday then?' Jack asked caustically. 'Or do we all need to check our diaries?'

'I can do Saturday.' Sam said immediately.

'Me too.' Jonas agreed.

'I cannot.' Teal'c inclined his head. 'I will be departing the SGC to join Bra'tac for our meeting with the other rebel Jaffa.'

Jack's scarred eyebrow twitched. 'Yes. How could I have forgotten?'

'Are you sure it's a good idea for so many of you to meet in one place?' Sam asked, concern written all over her delicate features.

Teal'c's sternness softened. 'We must determine a way forward as a people if we are to fully play our part in destroying the Goa'uld.'

'I think Carter's point is that over a hundred rebel Jaffa in one place is like giving the Goa'uld a duck shoot.' Jack said roughly.

'We are not ducks.' Teal'c replied. 'Nor eggs.'

'Eggs?' mouthed Jonas at Sam; she shook her head dismissively.

Jack sighed. 'Well, how about a late afternoon snack to celebrate?'

'Sounds good to me.' Jonas placed a hand over his stomach. 'I'm starved.'

'I'm in.' Sam said.

Teal'c acquiesced, inclining his head, the light glancing off his dark skin.

The Colonel brightened immediately. He clapped his hands. 'Let's go.'

Jonas fell into step beside Sam as Jack and Teal'c fell to discussing the merits of cake versus pie. A strange contentment drifted over Jonas.

Yep.

It was turning out to be a very good day.

o-O-o

Jack nodded absently to the security guard as he signed in and headed for the elevator. He rubbed the back of his neck and yawned, stretching his mouth wide, as he waited for it to arrive. He had the beginnings of a dull headache behind his sore eyes. He hadn't been to a poker night in a while and was regretting his spontaneous decision to attend one; he'd forgotten how the sting of cigar smoke and the taste of bad whiskey lingered.

He grimaced. He needed coffee; lots of coffee. The day had all the signs of being an incredibly bad day.

He heard the reaction of the guard – a much friendlier good morning, Jack noted, than had been given to him – before he heard her melodic reply. He didn't have to look to know it was Carter. He still didn't look as he tracked her steps from the desk to the elevator. His ears catalogued every soft footfall despite the fact that he was sure she was wearing motorcycle boots – he could hear the brief rub of leather with every stride she made.

'Sir.'

'Carter.' Jack risked a glance as he nodded a hello at her. His eyes swiftly cased her; he'd been right about the boots, and right about the leather; she was head to toe in it – leather pants, tight leather jacket. She looked so damn sexy he forgot to breathe for a moment. His lips twitched; no wonder the security guard had been so happy to see her. Jack shot him a stern look, unsurprised to catch the young guy staring at Carter's ass. The SF flushed bright red and returned his gaze to the desk.

The elevator arrived and Jack gestured for Carter to enter. He followed after her and let her push the buttons. He stared up at the ceiling and tried to muffle a second yawn. He saw Carter glance at him before looking away. She didn't ask him the question he knew was hovering on her lips – how had his night out gone – and he didn't answer her.

Jack glared at the floor indicator.

He wanted her to assume that he'd had a wild Friday night with some young wild thing. Better that than the truth that he'd spent the evening with a crowd of middle-aged men – and when had the poker buddies he'd acquired in his last retirement all turned into middle aged men anyway? Jack had been given an open invitation to the game when he'd been recalled and had stopped making the regular weekly event. He'd turned up maybe a handful of times since he'd been going through the Stargate and he hadn't played for a while but he had a good poker face and if his hadn't been the largest pile of chips on the table at the end of the night, it had been respectfully sized.

He sneaked another glance at her. It was petty really. He just wanted Carter to think that he'd gotten laid because she'd mentioned she'd had plans for Thursday night when Teal'c had invited them to the movie night. Not that she'd explained further than that even when Jonas had asked her during their snack. All Jack knew was that the _plans_ didn't include any of her team-mates. It had probably been a date. With some young non-middle-aged guy. Someone who didn't have Jack's kind of baggage. Someone who would be able to hold her, touch her...

He yanked his thoughts away from that path. He should be happy she had found someone; happy she was moving on and finding happiness off the base and getting a life beyond the Stargate programme. But jealousy churned uneasily in his gut and he knew he was being an ass. He'd ignored her the day before rather than simply ask her how her date – or whatever – had gone. It wasn't exactly in the spirit of his decision to be a better friend to her given they couldn't be anything more regardless of the fact that he hadn't moved on from being head over heels in love with her.

Jack cleared his throat as they exited the elevator and made for the locker rooms. 'Teal'c's leaving at oh-eight-hundred, right?'

'Right, sir.' Sam looked about as pleased about it as he did.

'Think he'll be pissed if we follow him?' Jack commented as they neared the female locker room.

Sam smiled at him; not one of her full blown smiles but a small one as though she couldn't help herself. 'Probably, sir.' She agreed.

'Breakfast?' Jack asked aiming for an 'as usual' note to the word. He'd missed breakfast the previous day, not wanting to torture himself with guessing games about her night out.

Something flitted through her eyes – hurt, unease, surprise – he wasn't sure, but she nodded, and it occurred to him that maybe she had wanted to avoid guessing games about his night out.

'I'll meet you back here in fifteen.' Jack said, tossing the instruction over his shoulder as he carried on walking towards the men's locker rooms which were situated on the next corridor. He opened the door to the usual cacophony of sound.

Men walked in various states of undress through the bench area; beyond that the mirrors and washbasins were crowded with four returning SG teams. The showers were producing enough steam to power a locomotive.

Jack ignored it all and headed for his own locker. He stripped efficiently with no wasted motion. He grabbed a clean set of blue BDUs, tugging the pants on over his Simpsons boxers before grabbing a black t-shirt to go under the blue shirt. He pushed his feet into his boots, laced and tied them quickly. He tugged the cuffs into place. He briefly pushed his hands through his short hair and shut the locker, pocketing the key. He glanced at his watch. Ten minutes. He had five to spare. He shrugged and headed out anyway. The advantage of being a senior officer was that he could ignore strange looks when he loitered in corridors; not that he loitered that often.

He rounded the corner, stood a respectful distance away from the female locker room and leaned a shoulder on a wall as he waited.

The door opened and a woman spilled out into the corridor. She looked vaguely familiar. He tried to place her as she neared his position and slowed, evidently recognising him too.

'Colonel O'Neill.'

'Doctor Michaels?' Jack asked, his memory supplying dim recollections of his last trip to Antarctica before the fever and the dying had blurred the rest. He straightened automatically, pushing his hands into his pants' pockets.

'I'm surprised you remember me.' She said with a smile. 'It's good to see you looking so well, Colonel.'

Jack smiled back politely. 'You too.' He wondered what she was doing on the base. 'And you're here to...'

'I'm joining the base staff.' Michaels said, pushing her own hands into the deep pockets of her white lab coat. 'I'm hoping it's temporary until the decision on continuing the research in Antarctica is made.'

'You really want to go back?' Jack asked curious. Antarctica didn't like him. He had no intention of ever setting foot on that particular continent again.

Michaels regarded him with amusement. 'Aiyana was a fantastic discovery. There may be more Ancients buried beneath the ice and...'

He cut her off with a wave of his hand. 'And you really think it's wise digging them up?' He had his doubts given the plague that defrosted with Aiyana; the one that had almost killed him; the one that had led him to taking a damn Tok'ra symbiote.

Michaels lips twisted. 'The Pentagon shares your concerns, Colonel.'

Hence the freeze to her funding, Jack surmised. 'Sorry.'

'No,' she said with a smile to soften her bluntness, 'you're not but at least you have a valid reason.'

Jack shrugged. His attention caught on the opening door of the female locker room and he was relieved to see Carter appear. Her gaze was on her cuff and when she looked up he caught the look of surprise at seeing him chatting to Michaels.

Sam hurried over. 'Sir. Francine.'

'Sam.' Michaels smiled.

'We were just about to get breakfast.' Sam offered. Her invitation for Michaels to join them was silent and Jack hid his disappointment at having his time with Carter crashed.

Michaels shook her head. 'I'd better report for duty.' She smiled widely. 'But thanks again for the welcome dinner the other night. Maybe I can return the favour and take you and Janet out sometime next week?'

Jack's heart stuttered in his chest. Welcome dinner? Had he just discovered Carter's plans? No hot date? Relief surged through him.

'Sure.' Sam said with an easy smile.

Michaels left and Jack barely remembered to acknowledge her goodbye with a wave. He walked alongside Carter as they headed back to the elevators. He shouldn't be so relieved and happy about it, Jack berated himself. He bit down on the urge to tell her the truth about his own night. Maybe it was for the best if she continued to think he was seeing someone. He should be encouraging her to move on; to be happy. He was her friend after all. But he couldn't deny that he was happy that she hadn't moved on that particular day.

Maybe it would be a good day, after all.

o-O-o

Damn. It was turning into a really bad day.

Sam had only just resisted the urge to groan when Francine had revealed the welcome dinner she and Janet had arranged for her. She repressed the sigh of frustration that bubbled up as she entered the elevator.

It wasn't that she had originally intended hiding the exact nature of her plans from the others. It was just that she knew Antarctica was a sensitive subject both for the Colonel, given the events that had transpired afterwards and for Jonas, who had formed quite a bond with Aiyana, the Ancient who had died after healing them. But after the Colonel had revealed he had social plans too, she'd been quite happy to let him and everyone else think that her plans had involved a date with a guy rather than a girls' night out.

She darted a look at Jack.

He looked tired. It had been her first thought when she had set eyes on him at the elevator that morning. Not that the tiredness made him look crap. He had just looked rumpled and utterly gorgeous especially in his brown cords and comfortable cream sweater teamed with a loose leather jacket. Gorgeous. Sexy. Hot.

Sam bit her lip. She so had to stop thinking about Jack in those terms. It was clear that he wasn't interested in her that way anymore even if sometimes she thought there might still be _something_. But she was wrong about that. It was evident that he'd had a late night. The lines that bracketed his face and gave him character were just that little bit too deep; there was a faint hint of a purple shadow under his eyes. Obviously his date had gone well.

Pain fluttered in her chest as though someone was squeezing her heart. She ignored it, just as she had ignored it the last time the Colonel had dated someone. He had a right to date whomever he chose, Sam argued with herself. Just because she didn't seem to be able to move on didn't mean that he couldn't.

Her mind drifted back to the last mission they'd had. Aidan Corso hadn't been shy about making his interest in her known and she had enjoyed the spark of attraction between them. Of course, in hindsight, he'd probably been doing nothing more than buttering her up as a patsy but at the time, it had been nice to indulge in some harmless flirting.

More than nice.

She felt a twinge of longing for the days when she and Jack had done that kind of flirting; when they'd had the security of ignorance, each never believing that it would lead to real feelings; that sense of easy attraction based more on the physical than the emotional. Something that didn't have all the fraught complications that had developed between her and Jack when they discovered they shared mutual feelings; mutual, inappropriate feelings that they couldn't take any further.

Yes. Her flirtation with Corso had been nice. He had asked her about relationships back home and she had evaded. What could she have said? Well, I'm head over heels in love with my CO and I know that he loves me, I just don't know if he _loves_ me.

The elevator doors slid open and she followed the Colonel into the mess. She picked up a tray and absently selected waffles for her breakfast. She noticed that he stuck with cereal; fruit loops. He stopped by the coffee station and added a large mug of black coffee to his tray. He gestured with a mug and she nodded. He poured the same for her and set it on her tray.

Jack nudged her as they cleared the counters. Jonas sat at their usual table with Stacey Rush. They were so loved up it was a little disheartening. Jack sauntered over and took the seat next to Jonas leaving her to take the seat next to Stacey.

'Good morning, kids.' Jack greeted them cheerfully.

Stacey smiled tentatively back. 'Colonel.' Her eyes moved to Sam. 'Major.' She pushed her chair back. 'I should be going.' She smiled at Jonas. 'Tonight?'

'Eight.' Jonas agreed.

Jack smiled mischievously. 'Breakfast together, huh?'

Jonas nodded, taking the comment at face value. 'She's on the early shift today.' He picked up his juice and took a large sip. 'I love this juice.'

'What is it?' Sam asked, eager for them to get away from the subjects of dates and romances.

'Pineapple.' Jonas said. 'But did you know that it has no relationship with the apple at all?'

Jack rolled his eyes and stirred his cereal. 'So, you and the Lieutenant are going out again tonight?'

'She's never seen Braveheart.' Jonas said. 'It was a very good movie.' He waved the glass toward the Colonel. 'Teal'c's letting me borrow his TV while he's away. It has a much better sound system.'

Sam refrained from comment as she drizzled syrup on her waffles.

'Where is Teal'c?' Jack asked, around a mouthful of cereal.

'He ate earlier.' Jonas said. 'He wanted to get an early start on the day.'

Jack nodded unhappily. He took a deep breath as though mentally pushing his worries about the Jaffa's upcoming meeting into another box in his head and focused on his primary task; teasing Jonas. 'Third date must have gone well.'

Jonas smiled smugly. 'What about your date, Colonel?' He gestured. 'Didn't you have something last night?'

Sam ducked her head. Oh, she so did not want to hear anything about the Colonel's date. She wasn't curious; she _wasn't_.

There was a pause so long that Sam began to wonder whether he would ever answer Jonas. Sam sneaked a look at the SG1 team leader. He was looking into his cereal and frowning. Presumably, Sam thought, he was considering whether to share his own dating experience maybe out of consideration for her feelings given their history – and didn't that just make her feel awkward?

'It wasn't a date.' Jack said suddenly. His eyes snapped to Jonas and he pointed his spoon at the Kelownan, dripping milk onto the table. 'It was poker.'

Poker?

Sam's mouth fell open a little and she swiftly stuffed a large piece of waffle into her mouth to cover for her shocked reaction.

'Poker?' Jonas smiled widely. 'That's a card game, right?'

'Oh no, you don't.' Jack said brusquely. 'I'm not falling for that.' He waved the spoon at Jonas. 'Don't give me the 'I'm just a poor innocent alien who doesn't understand' thing.'

Sam looked at Jonas's bemused face and took pity on him. 'Teal'c is very good at poker. The first night we taught him he cleaned us out.' The Jaffa had the best poker face.

'He hustled us.' Jack accused lightly.

She looked at him finally and saw his brown eyes alight with nothing but amusement. She let herself smile back at him. 'I don't know what you mean, sir.'

'Yeah.' Jack said. 'Right. Because you don't hustle people at pool either.' He smirked at her.

'Pool?' Jonas sent her another questioning look.

'It's a game played on a table with cues and balls.' Sam explained. 'It's just a matter of physics. I'll teach you.'

'We can make it a team night.' Jack said, scooping up more cereal. 'When Teal'c gets back from his Jaffa party.'

Sam nodded her agreement. She focused on her breakfast as Jonas fell to debating Braveheart with Jack.

Was it wrong to feel so relieved and hopeful because he wasn't dating; hadn't gotten tired by having wild monkey sex with some twenty-something? Maybe even her suspicions that he felt something for her still weren't completely wrong; maybe there was hope. Not that it changed anything. Nothing could happen between them even if they wanted it too. She should want him to be happy if they couldn't be together.

Damn it.

First she was upset because he was dating and now she was feeling guilty because he wasn't - not that she knew for sure one way or another if he was or not. What had she had thought earlier about things being complicated? She was so sick of complicated. She stabbed her waffle with more force than perhaps was required.

'I think it's already dead, Carter.' Jack commented.

She put the waffle in her mouth rather than stick her tongue out at him but the way his lips twitched and the way he covered his smile by taking a gulp of his coffee, he'd read her intent even if she hadn't gone through with it.

Sam glanced up at the clock and Jack followed her gaze.

'Shall we?' He asked.

They all got up, cleared their trays and headed for the gate room. Teal'c was already there, dressed in traditional Jaffa robes and carrying his staff weapon. His eyes alighted on them and he raised an eyebrow.

'We just came to see you off.' Jack said. He regarded his friend with a surprising amount of solemnity. 'You sure you don't want us along?'

'I will be fine.' Teal'c assured him.

'Yeah.' Jack didn't sound convinced. He gestured up at the gate room and the Stargate began to spin.

Sam moved forward and hugged the Jaffa. She felt his hand come to rest lightly on her back. 'Take care, Teal'c.' She couldn't help but worry over him. She had lost one team-mate; had come close to losing the Colonel. She couldn't bear the idea that anything would happen to Teal'c. She wished like their team leader that they were going with him to provide him with some back up.

She moved away and Jonas stepped forward to give Teal'c an awkward man hug. He nodded sharply as he stepped back.

Jack sighed but he did the same. He grasped Teal'c's shoulder as he stepped back and squeezed. 'See you in three days.'

'Three days, O'Neill.' Teal'c confirmed.

The wormhole blossomed out and settled back into the usual puddle.

Teal'c hefted his staff weapon and strode away, disappearing into the blue. The wormhole winked out.

Sam couldn't shake the sense of foreboding that crept over her. She glanced at Jack unsurprised to see a similar grimace of concern on his face.

'He'll be OK, right?' Jonas asked, reading their worry easily and becoming anxious as a result.

Sam didn't quite have it in her to reassure him.

'Sure.' Jack said with mock confidence. 'It's not like anything ever goes wrong when Teal'c goes off to these things.' He met her incredulous gaze for a heartbeat. 'Right?'

'Right.' Sam said dryly. Teal'c had only been captured and tortured once; the Jaffa leader he had found had only turned out to be a minor Goa'uld masquerading as a Jaffa the last time. Nothing ever went wrong.

Jonas looked at her and she shook her head, unwilling to explain. He'd read the reports, he could figure it out. She followed Jack out of the gate room.

Despite finding out Jack's date had been nothing but poker, she'd been right earlier; it was turning into a bad day.

o-O-o

It was turning out to be a very bad day.

Daniel Jackson frowned and tucked his robes closer to his body. It was cold in the Goa'uld temple but he couldn't blame it on that as the physical temperature on a planet had no meaning on the Ascended plane. Maybe he was just chilled at how easy it had been for Osiris to return to Earth without being detected. The Goa'uld had avoided the satellites by using a ship with an improved cloak. She had ringed down to a temple on the outskirts of the Giza plateau before remotely sending the ship into an orbit that would keep it hidden behind the moon.

He sighed heavily. He supposed he should just be grateful that her mission to Earth didn't include a big bomb and wiping out Earth's population. He watched her hidden in his Ascended form as Osiris walked gracefully across the temple floor towards the wall at the far end. He felt his heart ache as his eyes travelled over her slim, elegant body.

Sarah Gardner had always been graceful; innately sexy even when covered head to toe in dirt and sweat on a dig dressed in old jeans and durable work-shirts. She had never needed the overt sexiness of the halter neck tops, bare midriffs and skin-tight gold satin pants that Osiris seemed to favour. The Goa'uld had teamed the outfit with a head to toe black hooded cloak. She wore a Goa'uld hand device and a zat was strapped to her right thigh.

Osiris was after something she had left behind. The temple wasn't the same one where she had affected her escape a couple of years before. It was an undiscovered temple, free from the ravages of discovery and tourism. They were surrounded by sand above and below them.

He wrinkled his nose grateful that he didn't actually need to breathe oxygen on the Ascended plane. The air stank of disuse and the decayed bodies of the guard that Osiris had buried with the temple to guard the treasure that she had left behind.

He watched as she pressed an intricate combination of symbols on the far wall. He had assumed they were decorative but apparently they had another purpose altogether. A section of wall slid open. It was a doorway.

Daniel followed Osiris and stopped when she did.

Osiris looked over her shoulder suspiciously as though she had detected him.

Daniel froze. He checked to ensure he was still hidden from her view and he knew he was. He couldn't help but hold his breath as she dismissed whatever had disturbed her as being creeped out by the temple.

The treasure trove in the hidden chamber would have kept an archaeology team on Earth happy for years, Daniel considered as he took in some of the ancient artefacts and precious items. He let his gaze drift back to Osiris. With his Ascended form he could make out the conjoined energy of host and symbiote; the angry aura that surrounded them denoting the possession by the latter of the former. His jaw tightened. Sarah was suffering. He could see through all the physical to where she cowered, trapped in a corner of her own mind. A part of him exulted in the knowledge that she was still alive; another part of him chaffed against the boundaries placed on him as an Ascended being.

He could make her free with a single thought, Daniel considered tiredly, and yet he could not. He had promised Oma that he wouldn't break the rules and interfere – no matter how much he might want to. It hurt him though to stay inactive; to watch from the sidelines.

He shook himself as he realised Osiris had found what she had been looking for – an ornate box. She opened it and pulled out two round metal objects studded with orange crystals. His gaze fell on the one in her right hand first; the Eye of Seth. Osiris must have stolen it or taken it from him when Seth was exiled, Daniel mused. The one in her left hand was Osiris's own.

He wanted to believe that Osiris had simply acquired the Eyes for her own purposes but he knew it was a futile hope. Osiris was loyal to Anubis. She had travelled to Earth to obtain the Eyes for him. He would have four Eyes when she handed them over to Anubis, Daniel realised. The Goa'uld seemed to have a knowledge and mastery of Ancient technology that Daniel couldn't understand. He had been told that the Eyes would form part of a weapon that Anubis could rebuild; a weapon capable of destroying a planet with a single shot. It would make Anubis too powerful; he would be unstoppable against the System Lords, against the Tok'ra who were already half-beaten, against the Tau'ri.

Daniel felt worry curl in his belly again and tried to think positively. Anubis needed six Eyes. Even with the one Osiris was about to give him, he would have only have four. He hadn't achieved his goal. Yet. He continued to watch as Osiris had placed the Eyes back in the box. She held onto the box and picked up a few trinkets idly. She frowned at the pretty gems as she discarded them as though browsing through a department store.

Daniel shifted.

Osiris's eyes darted back to the doorway. She strode back into the temple and stared into the dark; the whirling clouds of dust motes.

'Who's there?' She demanded autocratically.

Could she actually sense him, Daniel wondered. Or was it Sarah? They had once been lovers. If she could...

His decision was made in a heartbeat. He phased into being behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She jerked under his touch; Daniel trapped Osiris in a frozen moment of time and took Sarah's spirit onto the Ascended plane.

They were still in the temple; still in the dark but there was only the two of them. He knew he and Sarah wouldn't have long but he couldn't just do _nothing_.

Sarah breathed out sharply. She looked down at her hands, at the way they moved at her bidding and gave a cry. She shook badly under his touch.

'Sarah.' Daniel called to her gently.

Sarah spun around. 'Daniel?'

'Yes.' Daniel said strongly. 'It's me.' He squeezed her shoulder lightly.

She moved instantly, wrapping herself around him as she cried. He held her for a while. Frustration bubbled up inside him again as he whispered meaningless words of comfort but he knew he was already pushing the boundaries simply talking with her.

'Is this real?' Sarah said eventually, shifting in his embrace to look at him with wet cheeks and damp eyes.

'We're on...' he struggled to explain it to her, 'another plane of existence.'

Sarah stared at him. 'Your friend...she told Osiris you were dead.'

'I Ascended.' Daniel said with a small smile. He gave a shrug. 'I was dying.'

'Am I...am I dead?' Sarah asked.

Daniel shook his head.

Her lips twisted. 'Pity.'

'Sarah.' He chided her gently.

She pulled away from him, going to stand in another part of the temple. 'You don't know what it's like.'

'You can fight the Goa'uld.' Daniel said.

'No, Daniel.' Sarah shook her head. 'It's too strong.' She pushed a hand through her hair. 'I opened the jar. I didn't even realise...and there was this pain and...' she shuddered, closing her eyes.

'Sarah,' Daniel crossed to her and took hold of her hands, 'listen. I met a former host once called Kendra. She told me that she whispered to the demon inside; made the Goa'uld believe that it could travel to Cimmeria; made it want to take the risk. She escaped.'

He held on when Sarah went to pull away. 'You can do this.' He assured her. 'You just need to think of something that will make Osiris risk herself; put herself in a position where others from Earth can find you. They'll try to take you alive, Sarah. They know they can save the host.' He brushed a strand of her curly hair back from her face.

'How?' Sarah asked. 'How can I do this?'

'Whisper to Osiris. Become the inner voice. Flatter the Goa'uld. Play on its arrogance.' Daniel offered quickly. 'It will work.'

'Daniel...' Sarah cupped his face with one hand. Her eyes searched his. 'And what of you?'

'I have to go.' Daniel said. He could feel something else, some danger or event tugging at him. Something was happening.

He kissed her forehead gently. 'Sleep a while, Sarah.'

The Ascended plane disappeared around them as he phased them back into normal space. He blinked and was hidden again just as Osiris's eyes would have met his form.

Osiris stumbled back. She was breathing heavily. Her eyes were frantically looking around the temple. She clutched the box she held tighter and reached for a control on the hand device. She was recalling the ship, leaving.

Daniel smiled grimly. He had put Sarah into a deep sleep. She would rest and gain her strength back; she would begin whispering to Osiris. Hopefully, it would work. It had to work.

The something that had tugged at him during the last moments of his time with Sarah, tugged at him again.

He phased out of the temple and into the open air. The desert warmth surrounded him; the sun beat down on his head.

Daniel breathed in deeply and focused. What was tugging at him? What was so important?

He felt the anger first. Then, the pain. A sense of being bereft. A fear of loss.

Terror.

Daniel's eyes widened in horror.

It was Teal'c.

He was in trouble.


	42. Changes

**Author's Note: **Teal'c/team friendship. Mention of Teal'c/Shon'ac and Teal'c/Drey'auc. Jacob, Bra'tac and Hammond friendship.

**The Changeling Recap:** _A doctor is followed into an operating room; the patient is Teal'c and the surgeon is revealed to be Apophis. Teal'c wakes up but he is in a dorm and without his Goa'uld forehead brand – he's fully human. He goes into a bathroom and splashes water on his face. Jonas goes to see if he is OK and Teal'c tells him everything is fine, referring to Jonas as 'probie'. Teal'c comes to in the SGC and goes to the mess where he meets Sam. They are talking when the scene abruptly shifts and Sam and Teal'c are suddenly talking at a breakfast table in a firehouse about a kidney transplant operation Teal'c will undergo shortly. Teal'c is a match for someone named Bray. _

_The alarms go off and the team responds; getting into the fire truck. They go to the scene of a car accident where Sam begins to order up what they need to contain the fire. Teal'c heads out to a man but when he turns him over it's Apophis. He jumps back. Sam is trying to get a kid out of a car; she succeeds but the car is on fire and the driver is trapped. Teal'c thinks it's Bra'tac, he refuses her order and goes to save him. The car explodes throwing Teal'c a distance._

_And suddenly, he is back in the SGC mess. He collapses and Sam calls for a medic. He ends up in the infirmary. Janet tells him she wants to run some tests. He wakes up back in the fireman dream with Jack. Jack leaves Teal'c and meets up with Bray, (who is Bra'tac), and Shona, (a woman who looks like the late Sho'nac). They go to talk with Teal'c and Bray tells him something is wrong – a car exploded in front of Teal'c yet he bears no scars._

_Teal'c wakes in the infirmary at the SGC and tells Janet his head was filled with images. Janet tells him he was dreaming which he claims he doesn't do during kel no reem. She tells Jack she just wants to run a few more tests and draws the curtain. The curtain is drawn back and it's the fireman universe again – but Daniel is there. _

_He's the psychologist and denies knowing Teal'c. They go for a walk. Teal'c says that although Bray isn't technically his step-father he considers him that way. They talk of the transplant and Daniel points out that self-preservation is a strong thing. Teal'c walks off...And walks into the gate room at the SGC. They walk into the wormhole...And Teal'c is in the hospital where he comes across Apophis who tells him he will be waiting for him in the afterlife. Teal'c walks out only to end up back in the gateroom with the wormhole open...Teal'c panics and realises he doesn't have his Goa'uld symbiote, he collapses..._

_On a planet, Teal'c and Bra'tac lie amongst many dead Jaffa. Teal'c takes the symbiote from Bra'tac and places it in his own pouch. _

_He wakes in the fireman universe and 'Shona' soothes him after his 'nightmare'. The transplant is done; Teal'c will be fine. He tells her of SG1 and says he feels like he is going insane. He goes to see Bray who tells him the transplant is failing; that he is prepared to die. Teal'c tells him not to give up. _

_Daniel turns up to talk with Teal'c outside the hospital. Teal'c tells him of his two lives; of not knowing which is real. Daniel says that maybe Teal'c is looking at it the wrong way; if both realities feel equally real maybe neither are; maybe there is a third. He tells Teal'c to hang on. And when Teal'c protests at his leaving, Daniel suddenly tells him that he hasn't left his side and he's not going to._

_Suddenly, Teal'c is in the gate room. Janet is asking him how long he went without his symbiote. Teal'c's only concern is for saving Bra'tac. They get him onto a medical gurney. Jack tells Hammond that the Jaffa meeting was an ambush. Only Teal'c and Bra'tac survived because Teal'c shared his symbiote with his mentor. The team discuss the options but it's not looking good. Jonas goes to see Teal'c and thanks him for making him feel part of the team. Jacob arrives and offers a Jaffa variant of the tretonin as a substitute. Hammond orders Janet to try it._

_Teal'c awakes in the infirmary. Daniel is beside him. He reassures Teal'c that he's awake and in the right reality. He tells Teal'c to rest and that everything will be fine._

**Changes **

Teal'c's eyes snapped open. His heart drummed an uneasy beat in his chest. A cold sweat covered his body as his hand crept silently towards his empty pouch.

The sensation of being without a symbiote was unnerving.

He had no symbiote and yet he lived. It was thanks to tretonin, the drug developed by the Pangarans. The Tok'ra had devised a Jaffa variant when they had begun to help the Pangarans correct the flaw in the drug's composition. It was almost inconceivable and yet it had happened. His immune system was supported by the drug. It had saved him. It had saved Bra'tac.

He waited for his pulse to calm, taking deep breaths as though in kel no reem. He could barely contemplate the fact that he would no longer need to perform the meditative ritual. He no longer had to find physical harmony with the Goa'uld within him. It was gone. And so too was the last chain of servitude the Goa'uld had wrapped around him.

'Teal'c?' Jack O'Neill's quiet gruff word drew his attention.

Teal'c turned his head and found the SG1 leader in a chair beside him. O'Neill's green BDUs were rumpled, his short grey hair was askew and he was blinking as though he had just woken up. The Colonel stretched, raising his arms high into the air before letting them fall.

'How're you feeling?' Jack had an unusual serious note in his brown eyes.

'I am well, O'Neill.' Teal'c assured him. He frowned a little. 'It is most unusual.'

'I bet.' Jack lifted one shoulder before letting it drop. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He rubbed the palm of one hand with the thumb of the other. 'Bra'tac's taking a little longer to adjust to the tretonin. Fraiser thinks he may need a larger dose given his age.'

Teal'c inclined his head thankful of the news of his mentor.

'What you did...' Jack shook his head. 'You saved his life.'

Teal'c didn't reply. He felt there was no need to explain. He owed Bra'tac so much that giving his life for him would have been no sacrifice.

'Are you up to telling me what happened?' Jack said quietly.

Teal'c frowned. 'I was delayed at the Alpha site.' Rya'c had wanted to go to the Jaffa meeting with him. It had taken much dissuasion to convince his son that he should stay behind with Rak'nor and assist in the training of the new warriors to their rebellion. He shuddered at the thought of what would have happened if he had initially allowed Rya'c to attend the meeting with him and Bra'tac.

'Bra'tac went on ahead to assure the Jaffa there that we were attending.' Teal'c continued and stopped again, an unwelcome frisson of guilt curdling in his belly at allowing his mentor to go on without him.

'And then?' Jack prompted.

'I gated to the planet.' Teal'c remembered the immediate sense of danger; an atavistic warning that raised the hairs on the back of his neck, along his arms. 'There was a heavy fog in the air.'

The white dense mist had covered everything; obscured everything. Teal'c had been unable to see a hand in front of him.

'I began to feel unwell.' Teal'c said out loud, the memory of the wave of dizziness and nausea brining a sour taste to his mouth. His symbiote had writhed inside him, clearly distressed. He paused. 'I thought momentarily that it could be the symbiote poison.'

He had wondered if they had been betrayed by the Tok'ra. He had covered his face with a wet cloth and made for the lake beyond the tree-line. He had struggled through the fog; his eyes and nose streaming, every step a torture; his feet stumbling over bodies, his body into the tents. His symbiote had continued writhing in his belly, a constant reminder to keep going.

'I made it to the lake.' Teal'c said. 'I immersed myself in water, falling into a deep kel no reem.'

He did not explain how he had remembered his experience on one planet where the locals had tried to drown him, only for his symbiote to keep him alive by pulling oxygen from the water and transferring it into Teal'c's own body. Jack nodded in understanding anyway, and Teal'c surmised that his friend had recalled the event.

'When I awoke, I swam to the surface.' Teal'c continued grimly. 'The fog had lifted.'

It had been a devastating sight. The camp had been destroyed; bodies of Jaffa had littered the ground among the splinters.

'I saw Anubis's Jaffa.' Teal'c's voice dropped to a growl. 'They were removing the symbiotes from the fallen Jaffa; killing them.'

'You didn't engage them?' Jack checked.

'I did not.' Teal'c admitted, although he had been tempted, his blood heating with the need for vengeance. But he had known it would be futile and that there would be other opportunities in the future when he did not hold such a disadvantage. He had crept further into the camp and had come across an interesting confrontation. His lips flattened into a grim line. 'It was Ya'kon who had betrayed us. He begged for his life but Anubis's Second killed him regardless for being a coward.'

Jack's eyebrows rose a little. 'Anubis's Second? Not his First Prime?'

'Perhaps he did not consider eliminating the Jaffa to be a mission of great enough importance to give to the First Prime.' Teal'c said stiffly. That stung his pride more than he would ever admit.

'Or there's something else Anubis is planning that has his First Prime already tied up.' Jack theorised.

The words soothed Teal'c. 'Perhaps.' Although, if that were true, if the First Prime was already engaged on a mission of such strategic importance that he could not participate in delivering a devastating blow to the rebel Jaffa, Teal'c mused, it was a matter of concern.

'So this Yak guy got what was coming to him and then?' Jack prompted.

'Anubis's troops departed through the Stargate.' Teal'c said.

Jack grimaced. 'Why didn't you contact us then?'

'I had left my radio and GDO at the Alpha site as a precaution.' Teal'c explained but he knew he had not even considered it. His only thought had been to find Bra'tac; to find the man who was, in every way that mattered, a father to him. 'I then discovered Bra'tac; he was near death.'

'They weren't already dead?' Jack checked, easing into a more comfortable position.

'I believe the fog was similar in nature to the field of poppies that Dorothy encounters on her way to the Emerald City.' Teal'c said. 'It was meant to immobilise us but it was not designed to kill.'

'That's why they took the symbiotes.' Jack concluded.

Teal'c inclined his head. 'You have seen for yourself, O'Neill, the pain that the rite of mal'shuraan can inflict. Few Jaffa can stand to be so long without their symbiote before they succumb to death.'

'Bra'tac was still alive, I take it?' Jack asked.

'He was.' Teal'c said. 'But he was unconscious.' He had known that he had to act quickly or Bra'tac would die. There had been no time to return to the Alpha site, to gather help. He had come up with the plan to share his symbiote and placed it into Bra'tac before he had fallen to lie beside him. Bra'tac had been conscious when he had taken it back and he had argued.

'_Leave me, Teal'c.' Bra'tac said. 'I am ready to die.'_

'_I am not ready to let you, old friend.' Teal'c reached inside Bra'tac's pouch and withdrew his own symbiote, replacing it his pouch. 'O'Neill and the others will come when I fail to return; we will live.'_

_Bra'tac glared at him. 'You cannot know how long your symbiote can sustain both of us.'_

'_It will sustain us long enough.' Teal'c held Bra'tac's gaze. 'I am strong enough to survive and I believe you are also.'_

_Bra'tac scanned his resolute face. 'Then we shall see.' He patted Teal'c's arm. 'Regain your strength.'_

Bra'tac had not been conscious when Teal'c had revived to transfer the symbiote back to his mentor, and Bra'tac had not regained consciousness again to discuss the matter further with him.

'So you shared your symbiote with him.' Jack shook his head again.

'I knew that you would come, O'Neill.' Teal'c said warmly.

Jack's demeanour lightened a little. 'Maybe next time you'll let us come with you.' He said pointedly.

Teal'c did not argue; the rebel Jaffa would continue to meet without the Tau'ri; O'Neill knew that.

'I think Carter's intending to follow you whether you let us come or not.' Jack muttered.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

Jack shrugged. 'She was worried.' There was a hint of accusation in his voice.

'I did not intend to worry Major Carter.' Teal'c said softly.

'I know, I...' Jack stopped abruptly.

Teal'c was not surprised. He knew the other man worked hard to never give away the depth of his regard for Samantha Carter.

'She's still...' Jack waved a hand. 'Daniel, you know.'

Teal'c did know. Of all of them, Major Carter had been most affected by the death of their former team-mate Daniel Jackson. She had not considered his Ascension a time of celebration; she had just mourned the loss of him in their lives. As much as he believed O'Neill had accepted Daniel Jackson's absence, he also believed O'Neill missed their friend immensely. And then there was Jonas Quinn. His young Kelownan friend still carried guilt regarding Daniel Jackson's demise.

He would not tell them about Daniel Jackson's presence beside him during the past few days, Teal'c determined. It would serve only to remind them of their loss. He could not quite believe that Daniel Jackson had been beside him through the strange experience.

He frowned.

'You in pain?' Jack asked.

'I am not.' Teal'c recognised the look Jack sent him as a question. 'I was considering my experience. It was most disturbing.'

'You didn't just go through what you went through, you know,' Jack gestured at him, 'when you went through the rite thing?'

'Indeed I did not.' Teal'c said. He said nothing more; he was uncertain what to say. How to explain the other life he had led in his dream; how real it had been. His heart ached as he remembered how he had dreamed of Sho'nac as his wife; how he had not dreamed of Drey'auc who he had so recently lost. He repressed the sigh that bubbled up.

'I take it you don't want to talk about it?' Jack asked as the silence stretched.

Teal'c simply looked at him.

'OK.' Jack drawled the word out. He sobered and sighed heavily. 'Rak'nor and the other Jaffa at the Alpha site went back to the planet to...' he pulled a face, 'deal with the bodies; give them a formal send-off.' He made a dipping motion with his hand. 'You know.'

Teal'c had expected as much.

'Rya'c's helping them.' Jack added. 'He wanted to come here afterwards.'

'It will be good to see him.' Teal'c said.

Jack nodded and pointed towards the door. 'Well, I'm going to...' he waved a hand, 'I'll let the others know you're up.'

'They can visit one at a time.' Janet Fraiser interrupted him as she entered the infirmary room at a trot. She walked swiftly over to Teal'c's bed and looked over the chart.

Jack exchanged a look with Teal'c. 'How's he doing?'

'Very well.' Janet said, flipping through the observation notes. She replaced the chart and looked over at Jack. 'Weren't you leaving, Colonel?'

Jack's eyes shone with amusement. 'I'll be by later, Teal'c.' He ambled out and Janet turned her full attention on Teal'c.

'You're very lucky your idea with the symbiote worked.' Janet said, reaching over to look in his eyes with a small penlight.

'What has become of it?' Teal'c asked.

'It died.' Janet said succinctly. 'We autopsied it and then incinerated it.'

Teal'c nodded. 'A wise precaution.'

Janet made a note on the clipboard. She replaced it. 'How are you feeling, Teal'c?' Her dark eyes held his.

Teal'c considered the question. He felt weak; drained from his conversation with O'Neill. It was a most unusual feeling. 'I believe I am tired.' Astonishment coloured his words.

Janet nodded sympathetically. 'Your body has been through a lot, Teal'c. It's going to need a lot of rest.' She bit her lip. 'I'll also up your tretonin dosage a little to see if that gives you a boost.'

'Thank you, Doctor Fraiser.' Teal'c said. 'What of Bra'tac?'

'Jacob and Selmak are monitoring him given the dosage is a bit trial and error.' Janet explained briskly. 'His vital signs are improving and we expect him to regain consciousness soon. As soon as I think you're both up to it, I'll have you moved to the same room.'

Teal'c inclined his head.

She laid a hand on his arm briefly. 'Get some rest, Teal'c. Sleep is the best medicine in this case.' She left before he could reply but he believed her.

He settled back against the pillows and closed his eyes. Anubis had dealt the rebel Jaffa a crushing blow but the Goa'uld had unwittingly engendered Teal'c's complete freedom from the parasites and hope that one day all Jaffa would experience the same.

He lived, and he lived free.

o-O-o

Jonas nodded a thank you to the server and loaded the plate of cooked breakfast onto his tray. He helped himself to coffee, juice and fruit before passing through the cashier to the tables. Sam was already at their usual place and he quickly made for it, sliding in opposite her.

She looked over his breakfast with a frown but she refrained from comment.

'I need the calories.' Jonas defended anyway.

'Uh-huh.' Sam scooped up more of her cereal.

'Have you heard...' Jonas began.

'About Teal'c?' Sam nodded. 'The Colonel stopped by my lab early this morning.'

Jonas didn't comment on why Sam was in her lab early. He'd been unable to sleep himself for worrying about their team-mate.

'I checked in on him before I came here.' Sam said. 'Janet said Teal'c was sleeping.' She looked slightly incredulous.

'Weird, huh?' Jonas said. 'It's good news though, right? It means the tretonin worked?'

Sam nodded. 'Janet's confident that it's keeping him alive. They may need to tweak the dosage and see what works best.'

'Makes sense.' Jonas shook his head. 'It's just incredible when you think about it, isn't it?' He waved his cutlery in the air. 'I mean, there's Egeria locked away by Ra only to be discovered by the Pangarans who come up with this drug which ultimately is going to help free the Jaffa from the Goa'uld which may ultimately lead to their downfall which was Egeria's objective all along.'

'Take a breath, Jonas.' Sam advised with a wry smile. 'And yes,' she added forestalling his protest, 'it is pretty incredible when you put it like that.'

Jonas tucked into his food for a while; eating with speed and efficiency. He was hungry and he wanted to visit Teal'c. They had been banished by the doctor from the infirmary late the night before and ordered to get some rest. Jonas understood why but he wished they had been allowed to stay with their team-mate.

'Teal'c called me probie when he was out of it.' Jonas commented eventually.

Sam picked up her coffee, wrapping both hands around the mug. 'He did?'

'I looked it up; it means probationary member.' Jonas said. 'It's commonly used to refer to a new or junior member of the team.'

'I know. We don't use it at the SGC.' Sam said. 'Teal'c probably picked it up from TV.'

Jonas chewed quickly to swallow his food. 'So when does someone stop being a probationary member?'

Sam grinned. 'When a new team member joins.'

'Ah.' Jonas smiled chagrined.

'It's usually used affectionately.' Sam offered.

Jonas nodded. 'So my research indicated. I guess I just was wondering when I stop being the new guy.'

'You're a part of the team, Jonas.' Sam assured him.

'Could I ask you something?' Jonas changed the subject abruptly.

'Sure.' Sam took a sip of her coffee.

'Teal'c asked for a woman named Shona yesterday. Doctor Fraiser thought he was asking for Sho'nac?'

Sam grimaced but she nodded. 'He loved her very much.'

'So I understand.' Jonas said. 'I read Doctor Jackson's journal's and I understand from what he wrote that Teal'c and Sho'nac had some kind of romantic relationship.' He pointed with his knife. 'But wasn't Teal'c married to Drey'auc?'

'From what I can gather, Drey'auc dissolved their marriage when she married Fro'tak.' Sam explained. 'They never officially remarried. So when Sho'nac arrived...'

'Teal'c was essentially a free agent.' Jonas sighed. 'Thank you. I was wondering if polygamy was usual in Jaffa society.'

'Honestly, I don't know.' Sam said. 'It may be. Teal'c doesn't talk about it much.'

'Teal'c doesn't talk about what much?' Jack's question startled Jonas into looking up just in time to see their team-leader slide into the seat beside Sam.

'Sho'nac.' Sam said.

'Oh.' Jack pulled a face. He stirred his oatmeal and took a large bite.

'He asked for her when he was delirious.' Jonas hastened to explain, wanting to dispel the idea that they had been gossiping.

Jack gave a nod of understanding.

'You manage to contact Rya'c?' Sam asked, changing the subject.

Jonas shot her a grateful smile.

Jack shook his head as he scooped up more oatmeal. 'I left a message with Riley. He said he'd make sure Rya'c got it.'

'I don't envy them.' Sam said quietly.

Jonas nodded. The sight on the planet had been horrifying; like something out of one of the horror movies he had watched with Nyan one night. There had been so many bodies.

'What do you think the plan was?' Sam asked. 'Did Anubis think the Jaffa would blame the Tok'ra?'

Jack waved his heaped spoon at her. 'My guess is he was looking to literally kill off the Jaffa movement. Cut off the head...' he shrugged away the rest of the quote.

Jonas finished his food and picked up his juice. He wondered at the evil that had perpetrated such an atrocity. It was almost unbelievable that Anubis had killed so many and without hesitation. He shivered. The problem, Jonas mused, was that even though Teal'c and Bra'tac had survived, there was still a question whether the rebellion would in the wake of Anubis's attack.

Jonas couldn't help but think that there was still a battle to be fought for the survival of the Jaffa rebellion itself.

o-O-o

'You interfered.'

'No.' Daniel Jackson snapped the word out sharply. 'I stood by and watched my friend slowly dying for three days and did nothing. That's what I did.'

'You entered his dream.' Oma responded, calm in the face of his anger. She brushed off the lapel of her white suit jacket. 'Your conversation prompted him to regain consciousness.'

Daniel sighed and paced away from Oma, trying to regain his equilibrium. He stared out at the purple ocean lapping onto the beach; there were five moons hanging in the night sky above them; one large enough to fill a third of the sky. It was one of the most beautiful places he had ever been and one of the furthest places in his own galaxy. There was a Stargate further down the beach, half buried in sand. He wondered if the SGC would ever set foot on the shore; whether they would find it as wondrous as he did.

Not that he had been on the planet for its beauty. He had been trying to track Anubis down when Oma had shown up and hijacked him. He couldn't blame her. He knew he'd agreed to 'let go of his burden' when she had helped him Ascend and he knew he had reneged on that part of their deal. He'd been unable to let go of the bonds he had to his friends – his family.

'I'm sorry.' He said.

'And yet you are not.' Oma pointed out. She regarded him with a knowing look.

'I'm sorry that I've upset you.' Daniel qualified. 'Again.' He came to a halt and wrapped his arms around his torso. 'I didn't break the rules.'

'No, you bent them.' Oma paused meaningfully. 'Again.'

He waited because he knew that she knew how important his friends were to him; that he had already warned her he couldn't – wouldn't – stop caring for them.

Oma sighed. 'The more times you bend the rules, Daniel, the more likely it is that the Others will notice.'

Daniel nodded slowly in understanding. It made sense. He knew how worried Oma was that the Others would take action against him for breaking the rules; how it would affect her own work. He owed her too much not to respect that she needed to remind him of the situation even if they seemed to only cover old ground every time.

'I'll be good.' He promised.

Oma smiled at him knowingly and her brown eyes twinkled with sudden amusement. 'You will _try_.' She acknowledged wryly.

Daniel smiled back. 'I'll try.' He corrected. He gestured around the beach. 'This is a beautiful place.'

'Yes.' Oma agreed. 'It was a sanctuary for me once.'

His curiosity was roused but when he glanced at his Ascended mentor she was staring out to sea and evidently had no intention of discussing it with him further. He sighed. He cared about Oma and he certainly didn't want to get her in trouble with the Others but there were times he realised that he really knew very little about her; and times when the mystery seemed more irksome than provocative.

The rhythmic lap of the sea at the shore soothed him a little and Daniel took a deep breath, tasting the tangy salt of the brine. It brought back a sharp memory of his childhood. It had been a beach in some foreign country; the sand hot under his bare feet, his small hand clasped in his mother's. He had built sandcastles while his parents debated some archaeological find, occasionally stopping to steal a kiss or two between arguments. He blinked back sudden tears.

There were times he missed his old life.

Spending time with Teal'c had been hard. It had reminded him too much of the days he'd spent watching Ba'al torture Jack. He could have saved both – either – of them with a single thought. What kind of friend allowed another to suffer as he had? If his bending of the rules allowed Teal'c to survive than he didn't regret it, and he would do it again even if it meant getting himself Descended.

Daniel grimaced. There were times when getting Descended didn't seem like such a bad idea. His time with Teal'c had also been hard simply because he missed his friends. He missed Jack's acerbic, dry wit; Sam's elegant and intelligent debates; Teal'c's steadfast loyalty and wisdom. He had definitely not considered how hard non-interference would be when he had become Ascended; but then he hadn't really known what letting go of his burden actually meant at the time. Was he actually doing any good as an Ascended being? Was he making any more of a difference than he had as a human?

He shook off the uncomfortable thoughts. He had chosen Ascension for a reason; to learn and he believed he had more to learn before – if – he ever returned to his mortal form.

His mind turned to the task he had been engaged in when Oma had appeared, and he murmured a soft goodbye to her before disappearing in a swirl of light.

He reappeared on the Ascended plane on the grimiest planet Daniel could remember seeing for a long while. He kept himself hidden as he reviewed the scene in front of him. The naquadah mine was operational and there was a line of human slaves working to dig and chip the ore out of the huge cliff that stretched far up into the sky. The people were slaves; thin, emaciated. They had suffered generations of hardship under the Goa'uld.

Daniel's attention shifted from them to Apophis's First Prime, Herak. He walked alongside the planet's Goa'uld administrator, they were talking in low tones but it was clear that the administrator was informing Herak that the Eye of Apophis had been transported to another location many centuries before; a place called Ganjabar.

The Eye of Apophis would be the fifth Eye Anubis would acquire if he found it. After that he would need only one more to rebuild an Ancient weapon that destroy a planet in a single blast. If Anubis got the weapon he would be the most powerful Goa'uld in the galaxy. Not even the combined power of the System Lords would be able to stop him.

Daniel felt the niggling urge to tell someone again. Earth had no idea of Anubis's search or his plan. Daniel had almost told Teal'c but he'd finally decided against, believing that to do so would be pushing his luck. He pulled a face and wondered how much longer he would wait before he had to tell them.

There was time, Daniel told himself firmly. Anubis hadn't found all six of the Eyes. Earth would only need a warning if Anubis looked as though he would gather them all. There was no threat. Not enough to justify breaking the rule; at least, not yet.

Daniel sighed heavily and followed after Herak.

o-O-o

Oma let the warm breeze cascade over her. It had been a long time since she had enjoyed the beauty and peace of the plant Imala. Her senses prickled. There was a resonance in the energy around her; something that should not have been there.

Her eyes snapped open and she heaved a sigh. 'You can come out, sister.'

Ganas Lal – or Morgan Le Fey as she preferred to be known – shimmered into form beside her. 'Oma.'

'Why are you here?' Oma wasn't in the mood for game-playing. She glared at her. Overhead, clouds began to gather; lightening beginning to spark.

Morgan raised an eyebrow. 'Temper, little sister.'

Oma let out a huff of breath and with a thought dissipated the storm. She paced away from the other woman and sat down on a nearby rock. 'Why are you following me?'

'I'm not.' Morgan said as she sat down beside her.

'Then you're following Daniel Jackson.' Oma realised, anxiety biting at her.

Morgan lifted a shoulder and let it drop as though unconcerned.

'For the Others?' Oma asked stiffly.

'No.' Morgan's face flickered with amusement. 'I rarely speak with them.' Her brown eyes held Oma's steadily. 'I'm as much a disappointment to them as you are an embarrassment.'

Oma flushed. 'I see you haven't lost your sharp tongue.'

'Nor you your foolishness in Ascending those who are not ready.' Morgan returned.

'Daniel was ready.' Oma retorted.

'If he truly was, he would not hold onto his old life so tightly.' Morgan argued. She shifted on the rock. 'His actions are beginning to ripple across the Ascended plane. The Others are beginning to notice.'

Oma stared at her sister. Worry about Daniel escalated within her. 'I have warned him.'

Morgan sighed. 'He is not the type to allow great evil to go unstopped, Oma.'

Oma squirmed under the look so reminiscent of their childhood. 'I cannot stop Anubis.' She said. 'You think I wouldn't stop him if I could? When I realised my mistake in Ascending Anubis, what he was, I begged the Others,' her eyes flashed, 'I begged that he be sent back to his mortal form and all you did...'

'We bound him to only be able to use the knowledge he would have gained in his mortal form. We restricted his power.' Morgan said firmly. 'The rest was always up to you.'

'And I continue to be punished because I would not, and will not stop Ascending those who wish to follow the path.' Oma said heatedly.

Morgan looked at her pityingly. 'We expected you to do the right thing.'

'I already said...'

'No-one ever said that giving up Ascending others was the sacrifice you were being asked to make.' Morgan pointed out with a touch of exasperation. 'You can stop Anubis.'

Oma stepped away from her sister, confused. 'You talk in riddles.'

'I believe you were the one who commented that if you immediately know the candlelight is fire the meal was cooked long ago.' Morgan pointed out dryly. She sighed. 'I only hope Daniel Jackson will not pay for your inability to see.'

'Why are you so concerned for him?'

It was Morgan's turn to squirm and Oma felt a moment of triumph that she had disconcerted the other woman.

'He was important to me once.' Morgan said finally. 'In another life.'

Oma stared at her in shock. 'You were lovers?'

Morgan laughed.

A deep, full-throated laugh that took Oma by surprise.

'No,' Morgan managed to say eventually, 'we were not lovers.'

'Then...'

'I'm bound by an oath to say nothing of my last mission.' Morgan said firmly, regaining her air of serenity. 'But I will say this: Daniel Jackson will act when he finds out the truth about Anubis – and he will find out eventually, he's too inquisitive not to discover it for himself even if you continue to keep it from him. He will try to do the right thing.' Her eyes sharpened on her sister. 'Or perhaps you're counting on that.'

'Are you accusing me of something?' Oma's temper rose again.

'Should I be?' Morgan regarded her coolly. She disappeared before Oma could respond.

Oma closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe deeply and slowly; to regain her balance after the confrontation with her sister.

There were few who could raise her ire the way that Ganas – Morgan – could. Perhaps because she could still feel the hurt that she'd felt as she'd stood begging the Others for help and Morgan standing alongside the rest in their condemnation of her.

Oma shivered. Anubis had fooled her. Her eyes closed as she remembered. He had been in the body of a small boy; a child. He had come to Kheb to seek Ascension. He had been cast out from his kind, left to die on a barren planet. He'd told her he wished for redemption; to seek wisdom. He had conned her.

When she had realised her mistake...

Oma breathed out sharply and opened her eyes. She had been so careful since. Daniel had asked her once why she had Ascended him and she had told him balance. He had such a truth of spirit. He wasn't perfect but she had seen for herself the good in him. She had believed helping Daniel, in helping others like him to Ascend, helped to balance in some small way her mistake with Anubis.

She sank to sit in the sand. Had there been another reason why Daniel had caught her attention? Had she subconsciously helped him believing he would try and find a way to stop Anubis? She rubbed her forehead.

No. Her intentions had been honourable. She had sought only to help him achieve Ascension; to begin his journey. She did not attempt to influence his path – wasn't that why she had kept the truth about Anubis from him? She let her body disintegrate into light. It was time to continue her own journey.

o-O-o

The sound of paper rustling intruded past the fog of sleep and pulled Bra'tac inextricably back to consciousness. He took a deep breath. The smell of Tau'ri medicine assailed his senses; stringent bleach and cold steel. He rubbed his dry lips together.

'Here.' Jacob Carter set aside the report he had been reading – the source of the rustling – Bra'tac realised absently, and got up to hand him a glass of water.

Bra'tac took it and made sure his hands were steady before he raised it to his lips. When he had first woken the day before, he had never felt so weak; drained. Yet slowly but surely his strength was returning. He already could feel his body responding to the tretonin. It seemed odd to be without a symbiote but Bra'tac rejoiced in the absence. They had been so reliant on the Goa'uld for so long...the drug was a major step forward in helping to break one of the last remaining chains by which the Goa'uld led the Jaffa.

'How are you feeling?' It was the Tok'ra symbiote who spoke to him; the deep voice vibrating in Jacob's throat.

'I am better, Selmak.' Bra'tac said. He dipped his head in acknowledgement. 'Thanks to your care.'

Selmak dismissed the gratitude with a wave of Jacob's hand. 'The drug is still experimental.'

'How is Teal'c?' Bra'tac asked urgently.

There was a head dip as the symbiote ceded control back to Jacob. 'He's fine.' Jacob replied. 'We've boosted his dosage a bit to help him regain his strength faster. Your bodies were strained from the effort of sharing the symbiote.'

Bra'tac frowned as he heard approaching footsteps and his head turned towards the door in time to see General Hammond enter. The leader of the SGC acknowledged Bra'tac with a warm smile as he approached the bed.

'Bra'tac.'

'Hammond of Texas.' Bra'tac said formally. 'Once again, I owe you my thanks.'

Hammond shook his head with a smile. 'It's Teal'c who saved your life.' He indicated a free chair. 'May I join you?'

Bra'tac nodded his acceptance, smoothing the sheets and folding his hands over his stomach.

'What Teal'c did was incredible.' Jacob said, resuming his own seat. 'Selmak says that she can't remember hearing of anything like it in her lifetime.'

'He was foolish.' Bra'tac harrumphed. 'I was ready to die.'

'He wasn't ready to let you.' Hammond said succinctly, resting his hands lightly on his knees.

Bra'tac made another huff of agreement. 'He said as much.' He shook his head. He still could not comprehend the sacrifice Teal'c had come close to making; the effort and strength required to keep them both alive.

'Kids are like that.' Jacob commented gruffly. 'Sam went all the way to Netu to rescue me.' His jaw tightened. 'I was torn between being so proud of her I could burst and complete horror that she had risked herself to save me.'

Bra'tac nodded in understanding. 'It is we who should save them, no?'

'You have children?' Hammond asked, lightly.

Bra'tac suppressed the flinch at the innocent question. 'I had a daughter, Jyo. She died; taken from me in an act of vengeance for a raid I led at Apophis's behest.'

'I'm sorry.' Hammond said softly.

'It is perhaps no more than I deserved.' Bra'tac said quietly. 'When I was without my symbiote, I believe I experienced something similar to the rite of mal'sharuun. I have committed so many atrocities in Apophis's name. Too many.'

He saw the two humans exchange a look across his bed.

'I don't think any of us has completely clean hands.' Jacob said. 'I know there are things that I've done...' he shook his head.

Hammond nodded. 'But I know one thing; this fight with the Goa'uld; this fight is just.'

Bra'tac nodded his agreement. 'And perhaps in fighting for a better future for our children they will be saved from making the same mistakes as we, hmmm?'

There was a moment of shared understanding and camaraderie between the three men.

'May I ask you something?' Jacob asked, leaning forward slightly.

Bra'tac inclined his head.

'How did you become a surrogate father to Teal'c?' Jacob asked.

'Ronac.' Bra'tac lifted his hand briefly from the sheets. 'Teal'c's father was a great warrior. He was First Prime of Cronus.'

'That's kind of what I don't get.' Jacob admitted. 'According to Selmak you two should have been mortal enemies.'

'We were for a long time.' Bra'tac admitted. 'And then we met in battle.' His face lightened with humour. 'We met in a deserted, crippled hatak, each seeking to use it to assist with the battle. We fought hand to hand for a long time. He defeated me.'

Hammond gestured at him to continue.

'I waited for him to make the killing blow and instead he stepped back and offered me his hand. He told me that enough Jaffa had died because of the Goa'uld's arrogance that day.' Bra'tac remembered with disbelief. 'I told him he was a fool to let me live; that his God would know of his defiance. He told me Cronus was not a God but a parasite and that he would not know.'

'He let you go.' Hammond surmised.

'Indeed.' Bra'tac gave a small sigh. 'We did not speak for many years; met in battle often as Apophis and Cronus were sworn enemies. Yet I always remembered his words and began to question my own belief.'

Jacob frowned. 'Ronac was the one who prompted your questioning of the Goa'uld?'

'He reminded me of stories my own father used to tell; of a Jaffa warrior tribe that rebelled against Ra. They were considered a myth.' Bra'tac said. 'And the more I questioned whether Apophis was a God, the more evidence I saw that he was not.'

'So, you knew Ronac and when he was killed...' Hammond prompted.

'Ronac contacted me from the battle between Cronus and Ra.' Bra'tac said. 'He told me he intended to withdraw and retreat despite Cronus's orders to press on. He could not justify the loss of life. He knew, of course, that Cronus would kill him for defying him. He told me that Cronus would exile Meria'c, his wife and his son. He would tell them to go to Apophis to offer to serve him. He asked that I request them both as a reward.'

'Risky.' Jacob murmured. 'Apophis might have been in the mood just to kill them both.'

'He almost did.' Bra'tac said. 'It was only my intervention that saved them.' He had taken Meria'c and Teal'c to his home. He had told Meria'c that he did not expect anything from her; that she and the boy were safe.

'It's a hell of a story.' Jacob said.

'Teal'c knows I take it?' Hammond asked.

Bra'tac nodded. 'Meria'c told him when he was old enough to understand.' He frowned, a fragment of the memories and images that had been in his mind as he returned to consciousness surfacing.

'Bra'tac?' Hammond prodded gently.

'I am not used to this...dreaming.' Bra'tac said. The human doctor had explained to him it was normal but he could not help feel a little bemused by the sensation. 'It is most unusual.' He said out loud.

Jacob and Hammond shared another Tau'ri knowing smile.

'It can be disconcerting.' Jacob agreed.

'The dream, it felt almost real.' Bra'tac said. 'But I remember...' he stopped abruptly.

Hammond's thin eyebrows lifted a little. 'Yes?'

'I believed I dreamed of Daniel Jackson.' Bra'tac said. 'Of him sitting beside me as you do now.' He shook his head. 'He told me that I would live.'

'Really?' Jacob said, his brown eyes narrowed on Bra'tac's. 'I dreamed about him too just after I got injured on Apophis's mothership.'

'You mean the one _you_ crashed into the ocean?' Hammond checked.

Jacob mock glared at him, recognising the banter for what it was. 'I mean the one Apophis's goons crashed into the ocean.' He waved a hand at Bra'tac. 'I saw Daniel then. Standing beside my infirmary bed.'

'Are you both certain it was a dream?' Hammond asked seriously.

'I am...uncertain.' Bra'tac admitted with chagrin. 'As I say, dreaming is not something to which I am accustomed.'

Jacob avoided the question. 'Why'd do you ask?'

Hammond looked around him to check they were alone. 'Because I know I wasn't dreaming when I heard him in my office.'

Bra'tac's eyebrows shot up.

'Thor's seen him.' Hammond continued.

Jacob stirred. He also checked behind him as though to ensure no-one else would overhear them. 'Really?'

Hammond nodded.

'Is it possible?' Jacob asked. 'I mean, he,' he pointed at the ceiling, 'he didn't actually die.'

'An Ascended being appeared to us as a monk on Kheb.' Bra'tac supplied, adjusting his blankets again. 'I believe it is entirely possible for Daniel Jackson to still be with us, hmmm?'

Hammond and Jacob nodded.

'I know one thing.' Hammond began.

'We shouldn't tell the kids.' Jacob concluded. 'They've only just started to accept his loss.'

'I am in agreement.' Bra'tac said. He could see how badly Teal'c and the others missed their former companion.

The tell-tale clip-clop of heels against the flooring had them turning simultaneously toward Janet Fraiser, unaware that they all wore identical guilty expressions.

Janet regarded them suspiciously before she narrowed her focus on her patient. 'Bra'tac. How are you?'

'I am well.' Bra'tac offered.

Janet nodded. 'Are you up to some company?' She smiled. 'Teal'c's awake again. He's asking to see you and I'd like to move him in here.'

Bra'tac inclined his head. 'I would like that.'

She regarded the two men sat beside him. 'Generals, perhaps it would be better for Bra'tac to rest while I get the move organised.'

Hammond sprang to his feet with a speed that amused Bra'tac. 'Of course.' He looked over at Jacob who nodded; what they had discussed would not be spoken about. His eyes slid to Bra'tac. The Jaffa inclined his head, understanding the silent request.

Jacob got up more sedately and stretched. He picked up the discarded report he had been reading. 'Dinner, George?'

'Sounds good to me.' Hammond noted cheerily.

Jacob nodded. He sketched a wave at Bra'tac as a form of goodbye and walked out of the infirmary with Hammond.

Bra'tac settled back against the pillows as the human doctor began her efficient instructions to her staff to clear the bed beside him. It would be good to see Teal'c; to celebrate their survival and to grieve for the loss of the comrades. They had to plan their next move; the loss of over one hundred rebel Jaffa leaders was a blow; they would need to plan how to deal with that loss. He sighed, suddenly weary.

Hammond of Texas had been right to say the fight against the Goa'uld was just but there were days when Bra'tac wished for an end. He grew tired of the endless battle; of seeing so many young Jaffa die so needlessly. He had told Teal'c the truth as they lay on the ruins of the Jaffa camp; he had been ready to die. Yet it seemed his work was not yet done; his mind returned to his visit from Daniel Jackson...

'_Am I dead?' Bra'tac asked as he looked at the glowing form of the young human male he had once known._

'_No.' Daniel smiled at him. 'I just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing.'_

'_Teal'c should have saved himself.' Bra'tac huffed._

'_He did.' Daniel said seriously. 'If he had lost you...' he shrugged, 'Teal'c needs you alive, Bra'tac. Isn't that enough reason to keep on living?'_

Bra'tac's attention careened back to the present as he heard the sound of squeaking and rumbling; voices raised in banter and complaint.

A moment later, Teal'c's bed was wheeled into the room, trailed by the rest of SG1. Teal'c's eyes sought his and Bra'tac nodded at him. As though they understood the need, the orderlies wheeled Teal'c close to Bra'tac for a moment.

'Teal'c.' Bra'tac reached out and clasped Teal'c's forearm, barely acknowledging the others with a faint nod.

'Old friend.' Teal'c said warmly. 'You look well.'

Bra'tac dismissed the comment and squeezed Teal'c's arm. 'You look alive.'

Teal'c inclined his head. 'As do you.' His dark eyes gleamed with satisfaction and affection.

Bra'tac nodded. 'Thanks to you.' He said gruffly.

Janet cleared her throat and pointed for the orderlies to move Teal'c into place. Bra'tac let go of Teal'c's arm and watched as the rest of SG1 fussed over the other Jaffa; how Teal'c endured it with fond indulgence for his team-mates.

Bra'tac settled back against the pillows. Daniel Jackson had been right, Bra'tac thought as he drank in the sight of Teal'c alive and well. Perhaps if Teal'c needed him; perhaps that was reason enough for him to want to live; because one thing was for certain; if the Jaffa were ever to be free, they needed Teal'c.

o-O-o

Teal'c hid his frown as he climbed back into the infirmary bed. It had been almost three days since he and Bra'tac had been rescued yet Doctor Fraiser insisted they remain under observation. Teal'c suppressed the frustration bubbling up inside of him.

Part of it was his continued restriction; part of it was his continuing sense of weakness. He had alluded to his concern that he had not regained his whole strength to Doctor Fraiser in his daily examination; her answer had been strangely unsettling.

She had initially proposed that the weakness could be temporary; an adjustment to the tretonin and the loss of his symbiote who had imbued him with additional strength beyond his own. But she had also postulated that a reduced sense of strength could be possible; that he would never be as strong as he had been with the Goa'uld symbiote.

That he would always be weak – kek – disturbed him.

Teal'c pushed away the thought. He would simply have to work harder to regain the strength he had lost, he determined.

But it was not the only matter worrying at him.

He had dreamed of Apophis again, taunting him that he would be waiting for him in the afterlife. Apophis was a dead False God; Teal'c knew it as fact but it had not stopped the dreams. Again, he dismissed the matter from his mind. Apophis was dead and, perhaps, he did wait for Teal'c in the afterlife. Teal'c could only focus on the life that he lived; on hoping that the good he did would somehow balance all the evil he had wrought.

And in truth his issues were not the priority. Rya'c had arrived the night before and he had told of unrest among the rebel Jaffa at the Alpha site. Teal'c was unsurprised. He and Bra'tac had assumed as much would happen in the wake of the attack.

'Something troubles you, Teal'c?' Bra'tac said mildly.

Teal'c turned his head and found his mentor awake. 'I did not mean to wake you.'

'You did not.' Bra'tac said. 'I was meditating.'

'For what reason?' Teal'c asked. 'We no longer need to kel no reem.'

'Perhaps.' Bra'tac mused. 'But it has been a part of my life for so long that I am used to it.' He smiled and Teal'c inclined his head, his own mood lightening in the face of Bra'tac's cheerfulness.

'I was contemplating the news from the Alpha site.' Teal'c said.

'We must return.' Bra'tac said. 'We cannot let this latest attack derail our entire movement.'

The base alarms sounded and Teal'c barely resisted the urge to hop down from the bed and run to the control room.

Bra'tac looked at him sympathetically but kept Teal'c focused on the subject. 'Rya'c has performed well these past days.'

'He has.' Teal'c said proudly.

'We will need all our warriors.' Bra'tac murmured. 'Both the young and the old.'

Teal'c nodded.

Bra'tac gestured at Teal'c. 'Where is Rya'c?'

'He is with Jonas Quinn.' Teal'c informed him. 'I believe they were going to the commissary for sustenance.'

'Let us hope they choose something other than the coloured pots of water that O'Neill brought us.' Bra'tac pointed at several discarded plastic containers with blobs of jello stuck to their sides. 'Although they were tasty.'

'I observed you preferred the blue.' Teal'c noted with amusement.

'Major Carter recommended it.' Bra'tac said, his eyes twinkling. 'I have often found it best not to disappoint a woman.'

Teal'c opened his mouth to reply when the pounding of hurrying footsteps approaching their position had him shifting instead.

It was quite a group who entered. O'Neill headed the procession; Major Carter and Rak'nor right behind him. Hammond and Jacob Carter were behind them with Rya'c and Jonas Quinn behind them. Janet Fraiser arrived hot on their heels.

'What is going on here?' Janet demanded. Her dark eyes flashed at her CO. 'General?'

'I'm sorry, Doctor.' Hammond said. 'Teal'c, Bra'tac. Rak'nor has arrived with important news from the Alpha site.'

'The other Jaffa are threatening to leave.' Rak'nor said urgently.

Teal'c exchanged an anxious look with Bra'tac.

'Then we can wait no longer.' Bra'tac said, already moving to shift his blankets. 'We must leave immediately for the Alpha site.'

'Wait!' Janet said forcefully. 'Sir, I must protest,' she began turning to Hammond, 'both Teal'c and Bra'tac require further observation...'

'Then you can accompany them to the Alpha site along with the rest of SG1.' Hammond said briskly.

'I should head back too.' Jacob said crisply.

Hammond nodded. 'Let's gear up, people.'

Teal'c threw back the covers and hid his unease at the effort he required to make his body move. He ignored his weakness as he followed the others to the gear-up room. He quickly dressed and made his way with his team-mates to the gate room.

O'Neill nodded at Hammond in the control room and the gate began to spin.

Teal'c held onto his staff weapon, using it to balance himself. Across the room, Bra'tac did the same, his other arm slung around Rya'c who had offered to help him. Teal'c envied his mentor the excuse of age that made such assistance acceptable.

The wormhole blossomed out and Teal'c was the first to move forward, barely waiting for the puddle to settle before he walked through it.

He paused on the steps of the Alpha site briefly, his eyes taking in the rabble before him; the arguing group of Jaffa, the milling Tok'ra, the Tau'ri military trying to keep the peace...he felt Bra'tac arrive at his side, Rak'nor at his other; his team-mates and the others formed a quiet wall of support behind him as the wormhole winked out.

'Hear me, Jaffa!' Teal'c's voice boomed out over the clearing.

The warriors quietened quickly as they realised their arrival and turned to form a crowd in front of the steps.

Teal'c could peripherally see O'Neill motioning for Riley to move his men and the Tok'ra back but he kept his attention on his fellow Jaffa.

'We have suffered a terrible loss,' Teal'c began, 'many of our brothers have fallen.' He looked around them. 'We were betrayed by Ya'kon who was killed by those he conspired with.' His lips curled in anger. 'He should be glad he is dead.' His gaze hardened. 'But we are not.'

'How did you live?' An angry voice shouted. ''Perhaps it is you who betrayed us!'

Bra'tac grabbed Rya'c to prevent him from responding.

'If you truly believe that,' Bra'tac said loudly, 'then you are foolish as well as cowardly.'

Teal'c hefted his staff weapon. 'Anyone who does believe that we would betray this cause should leave.' He glowered at them. 'Or face me in jomo'sequ.'

A murmur went through the crowd.

'In defeat,' Teal'c said firmly, 'we have won a victory. I no longer depend on a symbiote to keep me alive.'

Bra'tac stepped forward again. 'Nor I. We live because of a medicine offered to us by the Tok'ra.' He gestured at Jacob. 'One that replaces the symbiote in keeping us alive. In time it is our hope all Jaffa will be free from their symbiotes in such a way.'

'So we exchange one master for another!' Someone yelled.

Jacob shook his head and his eyes flashed as Selmak took control. 'We will teach the Jaffa how to make this medicine once it is perfected. You will have no master.'

'Bra'tac and I are truly free of the Goa'uld.' Teal'c said. 'One day it will be so for all Jaffa!'

'Our leaders are gone!' One Jaffa stepped forward. A tall Caucasian with large muscles and a beard. 'Who will lead us?'

'Perhaps you will, M'Zel.' Bra'tac responded. 'We must all do our part to bring others into the fold or Anubis will have won more than one battle.'

'Who among you will step forward?' Teal'c said. 'Who among you will help to fight for our freedom!'

'I will, Father.' Rya'c said loudly.

'And I.' Rak'nor said, adding his voice.

'I have never been a leader.' M'Zel said, looking around him. 'But if I need to be then so be it; I will lead!'

'I am old,' a dark-skinned Jaffa stepped forward to stand beside M'Zel, 'but I also offer my service. I will help lead us.'

A cry went through the crowd as more stepped forward.

Teal'c felt Bra'tac's hand clasp his shoulder before the older Jaffa stepped into the crowd, Rya'c smiled at his father and followed Bra'tac. Slowly but surely, the crowd began to drift away. Janet murmured that she wanted to see Teal'c and Bra'tac in the infirmary as soon as possible before she left with Jacob. Eventually Teal'c was left alone on the steps with only his team-mates.

'Nice speech.' Jack commented dryly, adjusting his sunglasses.

Jonas smiled cheerfully. 'If I was a Jaffa I would have joined you.'

Sam placed a hand on Teal'c's arm. 'You OK, Teal'c?'

Teal'c considered her question solemnly. The continued weakness in his limbs would soon be replaced with his own strength. He was free and he was alive. More importantly, the Jaffa rebellion lived.

He gave his answer with a decisive nod of his head. 'Indeed.'


	43. Questionable Motivations

**Author's Note: **Daniel/Surprise Guest friendship. Jonas/Team friendship. Sam/Teal'c friendship.

**Memento Recap:** _SG1 are accompanying the Prometheus on its maiden voyage. Jack feels as though SG1 are in the way but Hammond assures him that General Greer and him want SG1 along just in case. Jack clashes with Colonel William Ronson who is in command of the Prometheus over SG1's likely place in an emergency but concedes when Ronson notes that he and his crew will only have each other to reply on in future._

_The Prometheus suddenly falls out of hyperspace. They realise the buffer which regulates the naquadria power has been fried because the Prometheus went through a gravitational field. Sam notes that they can't repair it on ship – she helped design it._

_Jonas comes up with the idea for a short hop to a nearby planet P3X744. It's a planet that's on the cartouche but they've never been able to contact it – the theory being the Stargate is buried. They head to the planet but just as they get there the naquadria overloads and they have to dump the reactor. It explodes, taking out their shields and computers with an EMP. The planet fires missiles at them and Jack manages to talk them into detonating._

_SG1 are ringed down to the planet and meet with the Tagrean leader Ashwan and the Security Commander Kalfas. Kalfas is suspicious but Ashwan is supportive. He sends them historical information to help with the search for the Stargate but the team quickly realise the history is relatively new. _

_A tense brunch is held aboard the Prometheus much to Ronson's annoyance. He and Kalfas rub each other the wrong way but Ashwan continues to be supportive. Teal'c and Jonas find an unlikely source at the library for help; a mathematician named Terek who helps them find the Stargate in the desert._

_Kalfas watches them uncover the Stargate with horror and when it is finally erected, he charges in taking Teal'c and Jonas as prisoners along with several others. Ashwan is horrified and boards the Prometheus to help go rescue the situation. Ronson trusts him reluctantly as he manoeuvres the Prometheus into position above the Stargate. Ashwan manages to talk the troops into supporting him and Kalfas is arrested._

_Jonas thanks Terek as Ashwan says goodbye to SG1 – they'll be back in a few days with equipment to fix the ship. Sam dials the gate home. _

**Questionable Motivations**

'I really don't think this is a good idea, Boreck.' The brunette flicked her ponytail over her shoulder and regarded the man in front of her with a frown. Her finger tapped the metal tankard on the scarred wooden table in front of her.

Daniel Jackson leaned on the wall beside the table and watched the exchange with interest. As an Ascended being he was confident that he was completely hidden from view and wouldn't be seen by any of the patrons of the alien tavern. He was half-amused, half-surprised to find that the grungy back-water dives teeming with alien life depicted so much in classic sci-fi films actually existed in reality. He was torn between wanting to observe from a purely anthropological basis and just wanting to soak up the atmosphere. There had to have been half a dozen alien species that weren't remotely human lounging at the bar. If only Teal'c were with him, Daniel mused fondly. The Jaffa would have gotten a big kick out of the similarity to the tavern that appeared in Star Wars.

He felt a pang of loneliness. He missed Teal'c; missed his other former SG1 team-mates Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter too. He could imagine Jack's wry comments about the tentacles of the barkeep; Sam's spark of adventure flaring in her blue eyes at the prospect of seeing an alien bar brawl. He shook away the thoughts and focused.

He'd travelled to the tavern for a serious reason, Daniel reminded himself. He'd been following Anubis's First Prime for days as Herak searched for the Eye of Apophis. The Eye was one of six ornaments that had once been part of an Ancient weapon capable of destroying a planet with a single blast. Anubis had recovered four of the six and it looked as though he was intending to rebuild the weapon although how he knew about it was a mystery.

Daniel sighed at the thought and stopped abruptly as the brunette threw a look towards him as though she had heard him. Daniel held his breath as her eyes raked over the spot where he stood.

She frowned and returned her attention to her drinking companion evidently dismissing her brief thought that she had heard something. 'You're trying to con Anubis, Boreck. That's never a good idea.'

'It's a great idea!' The fifty-something male grinned at her revealing a set of crooked teeth. 'Everyone in the sector knows he's been looking for the Eye. I bet you a heap of naquadah that if we don't do this, someone else will. Probably those goons from the Alliance.'

'There is no we.' The woman said lightly almost teasingly but Daniel could sense the underlying steel in the words.

'Your father said you would help, Vala.' Boreck pushed a hand through his limp and thinning brown hair.

'My father...' she could herself before she could finish the sharp retort but Boreck had clearly gotten the message.

He held up two hands. 'Jacek just said that you were a whiz at the old 'I am Goa'uld' pretend thing.'

Daniel watched as the woman – Vala – stiffened. It was almost imperceptible, and hidden by the layer of form fitting leather she wore. Boreck failed to notice the way her muscles were tensed, his eyes landing instead on an expanse of her exposed cleavage as he glugged down another tankard of whatever alcoholic beverage the bar was serving.

'Look,' Boreck paused to burp less than discreetly, 'this First Prime will be arriving for the meet soon; I got this.' He pulled out a package from his bag and placed it on the table. He unwrapped the cloth binding and revealed a dull silver circle studded with cheap amber stones.

It wasn't a bad facsimile of the Eye, Daniel mused.

'Is that...?' Vala asked, apparently her curiosity getting the best of her.

'A fake.' Boreck said. 'But I based it on the real one.'

Vala looked at him sharply. She flicked her hair back again and sat back in the chair, a picture of studied casualness. 'You've seen it?'

Boreck waved a hand. 'Doesn't matter.'

'Why don't you just sell this First Prime what you know?' Vala asked idly. She waved a hand at the ornament which Boreck wrapped back up. 'Why the fake?'

He snorted. 'What am I stupid?'

Yes, Daniel thought unsympathetically; he could practically see the same thought travel through the woman's mind.

Boreck stuffed the fake Eye back into his bag. 'You gonna help me out here or not? Would sell better if it was a Goa'uld making the exchange.' He winked at her.

Daniel saw the momentary flinch although Vala was quick to hide it. He wondered at it.

'Anubis is the Goa'uld other Goa'uld fear.' Vala said seriously. 'Crossing him is not a good idea.' She stood up in a smooth fluid motion that showed off her lithe body. She grabbed her leather jacket from the back of the chair and flashed Boreck a clearly insincere smile. 'I'm out.'

'Your loss.' Boreck said.

Vala hesitated suddenly. 'Boreck, I would seriously reconsider and just tell Anubis what you know about the Eye.'

Boreck shrugged and reached for his tankard.

She paused for a moment if considering arguing with him further but she suddenly turned on her leather boot clad heel. She stalked away to another table in the far corner where a game of some sort was in progress and quickly inveigled her way into the group.

Daniel shook himself again as he realised he was watching her. Camouflage, Daniel thought idly, thinking about her outfit; armour and weapon combined. She accentuated her attributes to fool a man into thinking she was harmless; to allow her to con him out of everything with a smile and a wink. But there was a quick mind and compassion buried beneath the act; she had a good heart. He'd seen it in the way she had tried to convince Boreck to give up his con.

Daniel sighed. He didn't know whether to be relieved or apprehensive that the lead Herak had gotten about the Eye had turned out to be nothing but a sham. He had a bad feeling about what would happen to the hapless Boreck too much to be completely pleased. He couldn't interfere, Daniel reminded himself. He was just observing. He shifted, wrapping his arms around his torso as he looked over his shoulder. He half-expected Oma to show up and lecture him on his journey again. He was certain that the idea behind Ascension wasn't to spend it traipsing across the galaxy tracking the movements of an enemy. His mouth twisted. He was beginning to wonder again why he had Ascended. He had initially made the leap thinking he could do more to make a difference only to discover that he couldn't do much at all. He'd stayed because he believed he had something to learn from the experience but he was beginning to question even that.

The sudden silence of the tavern alerted him to Herak's arrival in the open doorway. The blond haired Jaffa sneered as the crowd looked him and his escort over. Boreck waved at him and Herak entered the tavern as whispers erupted in the small dark corners.

Anubis's First Prime took the seat across from Boreck that Vala had earlier vacated. His two burly escorts flanked him.

'You are Boreck?' Herak asked, sounding uninterested.

'I am he.' Boreck smiled. 'I have what you seek.'

'Show me.' Herak said.

Boreck reached into his bag and brought out the fake Eye. He laid it ceremoniously on the table in front of the Jaffa.

Herak shot him a look but picked it up and unwrapped it. He fingered it carefully before handing it off to the Jaffa on his left.

'And my reward?' Boreck asked smoothly.

Herak looked at him. 'Outside.' He pushed the chair back and swept out.

Boreck quickly downed his drink and followed.

Daniel simply shifted through space until he was outside the tavern. Night had fallen and only a small patch of ground was visible in front where the lights from the windows illuminated the area. The cargo ship Herak had used to get to the planet sat in the middle of the town square.

Herak waited until they were shrouded in darkness before he moved. He suddenly grabbed Boreck and forced him up against the tavern wall. 'You are a fool.' He snarled and gestured at the Jaffa beside him who unsheathed a dagger. The blade gleamed in the dim light.

'Woah, woah.' Boreck said, trying for an innocence that he couldn't quite pull off. 'There's no need for that.' His dark eyes gave away his fear; sobriety rapidly setting in.

'You think Lord Anubis wouldn't know you intended to trick us?' Herak gloated darkly, releasing him and taking a step back. 'He is a God.'

Boreck swallowed hard. 'Look...no harm, right?'

Herak smiled. It wasn't a pleasant sight. 'He knows you have seen the Eye. This reproduction,' he tossed it at Boreck carelessly who failed to catch it and it hit the ground with a dull thud, 'is too close to the original for you not to be aware of its existence. You will tell me everything you know.'

'Sure, sure.' Boreck agreed. He gestured nervously. 'I, uh, I saw it a few years ago. Just after Apophis was defeated by Sokar. It was in Sokar's Temple on Hypthon.' His eyes darted to the blade. 'That's all I know, I swear.'

Herak took one half-step forward, his manner threatening.

'OK, OK.' Boreck said quickly. 'The monks there sent it to Laka to Apophis's Great Palace when Sokar fell. And that's it, I swear!'

Herak stepped back and Boreck breathed a sigh of relief. Daniel held his own breath, all too certain of what was coming next. Couldn't interfere, he reminded himself even as guilt and frustration slid through his belly.

The Jaffa with the dagger exchanged a look with Herak. The First Prime walked away to the cargo ship and the Jaffa moved in on Boreck. The blow was swift and lethal. Boreck fell to the ground, blood gushing from his open gut. Daniel watched as the Jaffa ran back to the ship as the cargo ship lifted into the night sky.

Daniel shivered. He could feel Boreck's life slowly seeping into the ground. The conman would be dead soon. He couldn't save him. It was against the rules. It didn't take away the sour taste in his mouth or disgust at his own inaction.

The tavern door opened and Vala stepped out. Her eyes tracked the departing cargo ship. Boreck moaned and though it was soft and low, Vala's head swivelled towards him. She hurried over to him and knelt beside him.

Vala's eyes scanned over Boreck and she pulled a face. 'I did warn you, Boreck.'

Daniel grimaced, certain that she intended to rob Boreck of his belongings. Instead, she reached into her jacket and Daniel's eyes widened at the sight of the Goa'uld healing device. He watched as she held it over Boreck's abdomen, as the healing glow of amber hit the conman and repaired the damage done by Anubis's Jaffa.

Boreck's eyes were wide as he looked at Vala healing him. When she took her hand away, he scrabbled back away from her. He stared at her. 'What _are_ you?'

'It's actually a _very_ long story...' Vala began, straightening to stand up.

Boreck bolted. He sprang up, pushed past her, catching her shoulder and sending her sprawling onto the ground. He ran off into the darkness.

Daniel just stopped himself in time from stepping forward and helping Vala regain her feet. She must be a former host, Daniel realised. Like Sam or Skaara. She probably had naquadah in her blood that enabled her to use the Goa'uld technology.

Vala swore lightly as she brushed herself off. 'What did you expect, Vala? A thank you for saving his worthless ass!' She adjusted her leather corset and put away the healing device. 'I should have just robbed him.' She muttered under her breath as she winced and rubbed at the shoulder Boreck had barrelled into.

Daniel could see the hurt under the bluster. He wondered how many times someone had rejected her the same way Boreck had after learning the truth about her. She had tried to do the right thing; she deserved better.

She sighed audibly as though agreeing with him and stooped to pick up the discarded fake Eye which she pocketed. She suddenly turned in Daniel's direction as though aware she was being watched. 'Hello?' Vala called out. 'Anybody there?'

Daniel held his breath, certain he was still invisible to her. She shrugged and went back inside the tavern. Daniel frowned. He'd had a similar problem with Osiris seeming to sense him but he'd put that down to his past connection with Osiris's host, Sarah. As far as he knew he wasn't connected with Vala – whoever she was – at all. He pressed his lips together. He must have just given his presence away without realising it – disturbed the air somehow. He pushed the thought away and allowed his body to dissolve into light. He would follow Herak to Laka.

o-O-o

Jonas Quinn tried to look inconspicuous as he looked around the infirmary. He had been missing over a week with the mishap to the Prometheus and he was eager to catch up with Stacey Rush, the woman he'd been dating for the past month or so, and reassure her he was OK. As a nurse working at the SGC, she was usually on duty and he'd half-expected to see her during SG1's post-mission checks. When she hadn't appeared, he'd showered hurriedly before he went in search of her.

He peeked into another room and halted at the sight of Stacey's house-mate, Angie. 'Hey.'

'Jonas.' The petite redhead smiled at him but he couldn't help noticing that it was somewhat nervous and that she continued sorting through the medical equipment in front of her. 'It's good to see you back. I thought...there's a rumour you and the rest of SG1 were headed for Area 51?'

'Tomorrow.' The team had been assigned to oversee the equipment and personnel allocation for the return trip to Tagrea to fix the Prometheus. Jonas shoved the thoughts of the mission out of his head. 'I was looking for Stacey?'

Angie's eyes dropped rapidly back to her medical equipment. 'She's not here today.'

'Oh?' Jonas asked. He was a little confused at her hesitant tone. Worry suffused him as the most obvious reason for Stacey's absence jumped to the forefront of his mind. 'Is she OK? Is she sick?'

Angie sighed and put down the box of gauze she held. 'Look, Jonas, it's not really for me to tell you but...Stacey transferred to the Air Force Academy hospital two days ago.'

His eyebrows shot up. She'd transferred? Why? Jonas was even more confused. Stacey hadn't mentioned anything about a transfer to him. He rubbed a hand through his short hair. 'So she's there?'

'Yes, on the early shift.' Angie nodded. 'I'm sure she was going to tell you herself about the transfer.'

'Sure.' Jonas agreed quickly. After all, he and Stacey were dating. She'd probably intended to tell him but he hadn't been around to tell. 'The early shift?' He checked his watch. 'So she'll be finished at two, right?'

Angie nodded.

'Great.' Jonas smiled, an idea leaping into his head. 'I'll go and surprise her.'

'Jonas,' Angie took a step toward him as he turned for the door. He stopped at her movement and raised an eyebrow in an imitation of his Jaffa team-mate.

'I called Stacey earlier to let her know you were back.' Angie tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear. 'I'm sure she'll call you later.'

Apprehension made Jonas's gut knot. He couldn't shake the feeling Angie wasn't telling him something – or was telling him something just that he couldn't make out what. He smiled at her again to cover his bemusement and headed for Teal'c's quarters to beg a ride.

The Jaffa was only too happy to act as Jonas's driver and it wasn't long before Jonas found himself in front of the hospital building clutching a bouquet of flowers they'd stopped off to buy. Teal'c deaprted after Jonas reassured him Stacey would provide transport.

Jonas scouted around the car park until he found Stacey's car tucked into a good spot in the employee's section. He lounged back against the blue vehicle and checked his watch again. He figured he would probably have to wait for a few minutes. He settled back and found his mind drifting back to the mission.

SG1 had only gone along on the shake-down cruise of the Prometheus as back-up. Jonas knew their team leader had been frustrated at that. Jonas had thought it was a good thing; moreover, he had appreciated the chance to see how the naquadria, the substance he had betrayed his government to deliver to Earth, had performed. It was fascinating. He knew Sam felt the same. He had asked her why the Colonel had been so against the trip.

'_Too many Colonels.'_ Sam had said with a wry grin.

She had been right, Jonas mused. Their Colonel and Colonel Ronson who commanded the Prometheus had clashed on everything from how SG1 should be used in an emergency to the way to handle the Tagreans.

Jonas breathed in deeply, enjoying the crisp air. It had been a good mission. SG1 had been pivotal in forging a bond with the Tagreans; in finding the Stargate. A frisson of remembered excitement, of accomplishment, ran through Jonas again. He had enjoyed researching the Stargate; enjoyed helping to unbury it; to see it rise up from the sand. He hadn't enjoyed the getting taken hostage and threatened just after that but everything had been resolved in the end thanks to the bond of friendship they had forged with the leader Ashwan.

There was no doubt that the arrival of the Prometheus would have a profound impact on Tagrea going forward, Jonas mused. He wondered at that a little; whether it would ultimately be a good thing or a bad thing. He had to believe it was a good thing; had to believe that because it had been his idea to go there. Maybe it had been the only idea but it had been his, and he felt a responsibility in that.

A shout grabbed his attention and he straightened as he recognised Stacey in a group of other nurses leaving the building. Stacey was waving to a departing friend and hadn't spotted him yet. Jonas grasped the bouquet tighter and straightened. He smiled at the sight of her; delight at seeing her spreading through him and settling his mind. He'd missed her during the mission; missed catching up with her. He watched as she caught sight of him, as her step slowed for an instant before she reassured her questioning colleagues and made toward him. Something in her manner stirred the apprehension that had knotted his gut during his conversation with Angie.

Jonas grinned to cover it. He held out the flowers. 'Surprise!' He moved to hug her and felt her hesitate before she responded. He pulled back from her and looked at her, trying to understand what was going on.

Stacey's smile was small and tight as she stepped away from him; her eyes wary and guarded. 'I'm glad you're home, Jonas.'

'Really?' Jonas blurted the question out. 'Because you seem kind of...' he gestured at her in lieu of finishing his sentence.

She sighed and buried her nose briefly into the flowers, giving the multi-coloured blooms an appreciative sniff before she lowered them. Her eyes met his. 'We need to talk.'

He let her lead him into the hospital gardens. She selected a wooden bench and they both sat down.

'So...' prompted Jonas. He rubbed one hand nervously with the other, tracing over his life line with his thumb again and again.

Stacey turned to him, tugging the skirt of her uniform down as it rode up. 'Jonas, you're a great guy...'

Her apologetic tone gave away where the conversation was headed and Jonas's heart sank. He liked Stacey; really liked her. 'But you don't want to date me anymore.' He finished for her.

'It's not you.' Stacey hastened to assure him, reaching out to place a hand on his arm before she withdrew again. 'It's just...' she sighed and dropped her gaze. 'When you went missing, I realised I couldn't handle it.'

'It?' questioned Jonas.

'Being with someone on a frontline team.' Stacey's lips twisted sadly. 'I mean, I'm proud of you; of what you do...and I know it's part of who you are but...I just...I couldn't handle loving someone and not knowing if they're not going to come home one day.'

Jonas knew he could argue life wasn't certain; that there were no guarantees. His late father hadn't been a soldier and yet he hadn't made it home one day either. Instead, he nodded. 'I understand.'

'I think it's better if we end it now before...' Stacey took a deep breath. 'Before we get more involved.'

Jonas nodded again. He looked back towards the hospital. 'You didn't need to transfer...'

'I didn't.' Stacey said hurriedly. 'The transfer had nothing to do with...us.' She pulled a face. 'I'd already requested it before you asked me out the first time. Actually, I think it was why Doctor Fraiser was OK with us dating. She's not keen on any of the medical staff getting involved with the SGC teams usually.'

Jonas could understand why. At any point a team could return through the gate injured. The medical team had to remain objective.

'I'm working with amputee survivors.' Stacey said softly. 'It's an area I've always wanted to specialise in.'

Jonas attempted a smile. 'That's great.'

Stacey pressed her lips together. 'Friends?'

Jonas nodded. 'Sure.'

She lifted the flowers. 'You want them back?'

He shook his head. 'They're yours.' He waved at her and attempted another smile. 'Friends can give each other flowers, right?'

She nodded. 'You need a ride back to the base?'

'I'm OK.' Jonas said politely. He wasn't really. He was disappointed and hurt and...not ready to spend time with her pretending he wasn't.

'OK.' Stacey stood up and brushed off her skirt. 'I'll see you around?'

Jonas nodded again because it saved him from talking. He watched her walk away and slumped back against the wooden slats of the bench. No wonder Angie had been so awkward with him, Jonas thought; she had evidently had a suspicion or knew about Stacey's decision.

He sighed.

Loneliness nibbled at him; the sense of being an outsider returning full force in the wake of Stacey's rejection. He'd just started feeling like he fit in; that he was part of the team. And his dating Stacey had made him feel like he had a real new beginning not one forced upon him by a decision he'd made in a fit of anger and pique over his government's lack of ethics.

A cool breeze drifted over him and he got to his feet. He seemed to remember a pay phone in the hospital foyer. He'd call Teal'c to come and pick him up.

o-O-o

'No.' Rodney McKay stared at Sam with horror. 'Absolutely no way.'

'McKay.' Sam said exasperatedly as she ticked off another item on the list of equipment. She regarded the storage room filled with boxes with a resignation. Area 51 had said they had sent everything she had requested during her visit – including McKay and other key personnel assigned to the build of the Prometheus. It was going to be a long and tedious task to check that they really had sent everything and a more tedious task having to deal with McKay and his ego. 'How did you think you were going to fix the Prometheus?'

The scientist gestured at her wildly with his hand. 'You know. I thought we'd just send stuff through and I'd advise from the SGC.'

Sam stared at him sceptically.

McKay returned her stare with one of his own. 'You can't seriously expect me to go through the Stargate.' He folded his arms tightly over his chest. 'Don't forget, I know what happens to you when you walk through that thing.'

'You've had the training.' Sam said, desperately trying to stay focused on her list.

'For emergencies only.' McKay shot back.

'This is an emergency.' Sam retorted. She moved onto the next container and started to check her list.

McKay snapped his fingers. 'What about Novak?'

'She isn't cleared for off-world yet.' Sam replied briefly. And if Novak didn't get her hiccups under control when she was nervous, it was possible the brilliant young engineer wouldn't ever get off-world.

'Well, they have engineers on the Prometheus, don't they?' McKay said, puffing up with his usual pomposity. 'And while I realise they don't match my levels of intelligence or skill...'

Sam snorted audibly.

'They are...competent.' He allowed.

Sam felt a dull throb of pain start behind her left eye. McKay always managed to give her a headache. 'It's not just about the Prometheus.' She said, not even attempting to keep the snap out of her voice. 'It's about their Stargate. They've only just got it operational and we're going to need it to stay operational during the repairs. They need a Stargate expert on their side of the gate for any emergencies.'

'So why can't you do it?' McKay snapped.

Sam glared at him. 'I'm assigned to SG1.'

'And I was working on the 302.' McKay suddenly smiled at her smugly. 'You have that Jonas guy now on your team, don't you? I'm sure they could spare you for a few months.'

Sam felt her temper bubble up; the urge to just punch the supercilious grin off his face building until her fingers clenched around her pen. It would be wrong to punch him, she reminded herself. And would probably only lead to the General giving her another lecture on being nice to civilian scientists given her previous run-in with Bill Lee when the Colonel had disappeared.

'You know you are just so hot when...' McKay began.

'Is there a problem here, Major Carter?' Teal'c's deep voice boomed in the large room. The Jaffa walked over to stand next to McKay, subtly intimidating him with his formidable presence.

'No problem.' McKay stuttered. His eyes slid to Sam's and begged silently.

'Maybe you should go and help Sergeant Siler check the rest of the equipment in the other room?' Sam said crisply.

McKay nodded. He skirted around Teal'c and disappeared out of the door.

Sam rubbed her forehead ruefully, trying to budge the ache that had settled there. 'Thanks for the save, Teal'c.'

He inclined his bald head, the lights glancing off the smooth dark skin and gold brand. 'Are you in need of assistance?'

'That would be great.' Sam handed him a second clipboard and briskly gave him instructions.

They worked in silence for a few moments.

Sam glanced over at her team-mate and smiled at the sight of Teal'c efficiently checking the equipment and ticking it solemnly off on his list. They had almost lost the Jaffa a few weeks before when his meeting with the other rebel Jaffa had gone badly wrong. They had been betrayed and Teal'c had chosen to save his mentor Bra'tac by sharing his own symbiote with him. When SG1 had found them, they and the Goa'uld symbiote had been close to death. Luckily, the Tok'ra had developed a variant of tretonin, a drug that could replace the immune system, and that had saved Teal'c and Bra'tac. The symbiote hadn't been so lucky; it had died.

It was odd, Sam mused, not to feel Teal'c's presence – or more accurately the presence of his symbiote. She had gotten used to her body reacting to him; to the faint buzz from the naquadah in her blood-stream. She would miss it.

She blushed faintly as Teal'c caught her staring at him. She gestured with her pen. 'I was just thinking that I can't sense you anymore.'

Teal'c's mouth turned almost imperceptibly downward in a frown. 'Nor I you, Major Carter.'

Sam looked at him closely for a moment. 'But it's a good thing, right?' She casually continued to examine the equipment. 'You're not dependant on the Goa'uld anymore.'

Teal'c slowly inclined his head.

'And I know I'd rather not be able to sense you,' Sam continued, 'than not have you around at all.' She flashed him a smile.

'I am pleased to be alive also, Major Carter.' Teal'c said quietly.

Sam waited patiently. If Teal'c wanted to talk to her, he would. If he didn't...well, she preferred working things out on her own enough to respect his need to do the same.

'It is very different.' Teal'c conceded.

There was just a wealth of feeling in his words that Sam paused and looked at him fully. It had to be a hell of an adjustment and she wondered how Teal'c was doing with it really.

'I guess it's going to take some getting used to.' Sam murmured.

Teal'c's face lightened as he took in her worry. 'Indeed.'

Sam's lips twitched. She reviewed the next box before she spoke again. 'How's Jonas doing?'

'He is unusually quiet.' Teal'c's voice was filled with concern.

'It's a shame.' Sam commented.

'What's a shame?' The Colonel asked, catching her last statement as he walked into the room. He paused and did a double take at how much equipment filled the space. He glanced at her as though to ask 'you really need all this?'

She focused on answering his original question. 'Jonas and Lieutenant Rush.'

'Ah.' Jack leaned over a tall box to look at them both. 'How is he?'

'He is working on a translation.' Teal'c explained.

'So holed up in his office licking his wounds.' Jack deduced.

Sam bit her lip to hide her smile.

'That would be an accurate assessment, O'Neill.' Teal'c said.

'I just don't get it.' Sam admitted, gesturing at them with her pen. 'I mean, I know it can be difficult for someone outside to understand the pressures, but the Lieutenant's military.'

Teal'c tilted his head in agreement.

'Some people just can't handle it.' Jack said bluntly.

Sam wondered at his statement. She'd always been curious at why the one relationship she knew he'd pursued the year before had ended. Maybe his partner had been unable to handle the Colonel's absences. Or maybe he'd had other romantic relationships since end because of the secrecy of what they did. She really had no idea if he dated much – if at all. She grimaced.

She was so not doing this to herself again, Sam thought determinedly. It was none of her business who the Colonel dated or if he dated. She was in love with him but he had moved on and she just had to get used to that.

'So, you got everything you need?' Jack asked redirecting the conversation back to the issue at hand. He waved around the room.

'Just checking, sir.' Sam said. 'There are other components being made specially to order that we'll have to wait for but if everything is here as we requested, it'll be enough to get initial repairs started on both the reactor and the buffer.'

'Are you sure you're going to be finished checking everything before we depart tomorrow?' Jack asked sceptically.

'Perhaps progress would be faster, O'Neill, if you were to assist.' Teal'c said.

'Well, I would.' Jack replied, a teasing glint in his brown eyes as he looked at the Jaffa that made Sam smile. 'You know how much I _love_ paperwork but I should probably go,' he made a vague gesture at the door again, 'and do...something.'

'Such as, O'Neill?' Teal'c prompted.

'Such as...' Jack clearly struggled to supply an answer.

'Inform General Hammond of our progress, sir.' Sam suggested, amused.

'Excellent, Carter.' Jack pointed at her. 'That.'

Sam tried unsuccessfully to wrestle the smile off her face. 'We should be ready to depart as scheduled tomorrow.'

Jack nodded. 'Right.' He looked around again before he pushed away from the box and smirked at her. 'Have fun.'

He was gone before she could reply. She sighed and looked at the multitude of boxes.

'Do not be concerned, Major Carter.' Teal'c said solemnly as he made a notation on his clipboard. 'I believe I was incorrect in my previous statement.' He smiled and inclined his head at her curious look. 'Progress will be faster without O'Neill's assistance.'

Sam's lips twitched. 'You might be right, Teal'c.' She straightened her shoulders with renewed enthusiasm. 'Let's get this finished.'

o-O-o

'...and SG9 will work on the treaty with Ashwan and his Cabinet.' Jack paused for breath as he and Ronson entered the elevator on the Prometheus to take them from the bridge to the engine room.

'When?' Ronson replied tightly as he punched the button to get to the right deck.

Jack rested one hand on top of his weapon. 'They're due to complete the negotiations with P9Y543 by tomorrow so Hammond's scheduled them to arrive here Friday.' He shot the fellow Colonel a knowing look. 'Diplomacy proving to be a pain in the ass for you?'

Ronson gave a huff of laughter and his eyes gleamed with appreciation for Jack's bluntness. He pointed at Jack. 'You can't tell me you don't feel the same.'

Jack allowed himself a small smile. They'd both suffered through the state dinner Ashwan had pressed on them the night before. Since Daniel had gone glowy, he'd come to realise how much he had relied on Daniel to fulfil the diplomatic duties on SG1. Jack didn't particularly like having to make nice with the natives but he understood it was a fundamental part of the job. Not that he didn't miss Daniel. The archaeologist had actually seemed to like that part of the job, and he had been, Jack conceded, much better at it than him. At least Carter was still around to smooth his rough edges.

'You know I owe you an apology, Jack.' Ronson said, breaking into Jack's thoughts.

Jack straightened. 'Oh?'

'I know I haven't exactly made being along on this mission easy for you.' Ronson said stiffly.

In fact, Ronson had made it extremely difficult but Jack waved a hand and accepted the olive branch. 'I would have been worse.' It helped his sincerity that it was the truth. Jack had never been a fan of having too many senior ranks in the field. Line of command just got confused and the mission usually went FUBAR.

Ronson's lips curved upwards. 'I'm also big enough to admit that without you and your team, it's very possible that the Prometheus would be stranded in space right now or blown out of the sky.'

'You would have made it.' Jack said firmly. Ronson had made a good point early in the mission that he and the rest of the Prometheus team needed to learn how to do it on their own without a safety net.

Ronson nodded slowly.

The elevator shuddered to a halt and the doors opened briskly. They walked towards the engine room, slowing as a raised voice became apparent.

'No, no, _no_! Not there! What _are_ you? An idiot?'

McKay's high-pitched tone resounded down the corridor and brought the two Colonels to a halt.

Ronson shot Jack a look. 'Are you sure we need him?'

'Carter says so.' As far as Jack was concerned that was good enough for him.

'Couldn't we swap?' Ronson smiled suddenly. 'You take McKay and I'll take Carter.'

_Over my dead body_, Jack thought. He managed a careless smirk which he presumed Ronson was expecting in response to the banter. 'I'm thinking no.'

Ronson's eyes narrowed on his. 'She must be coming up for reassignment soon. A Major with her field experience and aptitude? I'm surprised she doesn't have her own command already.'

Carter probably should have had her own SG team in the grand scheme of things, Jack mused silently, except he needed her – _SG1_ needed her.

'I know it's not ability holding her back so I'm assuming you and General Hammond have plans for her?' Ronson questioned.

They did but it was none of Ronson's business. 'Carter's needed on SG1.' Jack said mildly. He lifted a hand and gestured toward the engine room.

Ronson threw him an understanding look and they walked in together. Two of the Prometheus' engineers were fuming at a muttering McKay who was bent over a tray of crystals.

'Everything OK in here?' Ronson asked politely.

McKay didn't bother looking up. 'It would be OK if people didn't keep asking me that question.'

'Where's Carter?' Jack asked bluntly.

McKay looked up, annoyance written across his face before his gaze collided with Jack's hard stare. His eyes flickered briefly to the weapon Jack held. 'I, uh, I think she went to the bridge.'

Jack turned to Ronson. 'We'll be heading out.'

Ronson offered his hand. 'Beer the next time I'm Earth-side?'

'Sounds good.' Jack said easily, shaking Ronson's hand briskly. He sauntered out of the engine room, barely listening to Ronson ordering McKay to give him a progress report. He lifted a hand to his radio.

'Carter.'

'Sir.' Sam responded immediately.

'You done?' Jack asked.

'Yes, sir.' Sam said briskly. 'Teal'c and I were just about to collect Jonas from the mess.'

'Negative. I'll do that.' Jack replied back. 'You and T head for the gate. We'll meet you there.'

'Copy that, sir.' Sam said.

Jack made his way quickly through the Prometheus to the mess hall. He found Jonas staring out of one of the windows at the bustling scene below. Jack bit back the urge to snap at the younger man. Jonas had been out of sorts ever since his break-up with Lieutenant Rush and as much as Jack sympathised he needed Jonas to get his head back in the game. It was the reason why he had volunteered to collect Jonas himself. It was time they had a talk.

'Jonas.' Jack said sharply.

The Kelownan jerked at the sound of his name as though startled. 'Colonel.'

Jack regarded him with a frown. Jonas was rubbing his head as though it hurt. 'Headache?'

'Yeah,' Jonas's lips lifted slightly, 'I think the Tagrean wine doesn't agree with me.'

Jack gestured with his head toward the door. 'Come on. We're heading home.'

They made their way to the ring room in silence. Jack considered what to say. Knowing he needed to talk to Jonas and knowing what he needed to say were two entirely different things. It wasn't as though they had the kind of relationship which encouraged confidences or discussions about their personal lives. Jack had come to respect and like Jonas; the kid had settled well into the team and had certainly proven himself an asset but Jack would be hard-pressed to call them friends beyond the team bond they shared.

Jack decided to wait until they'd ringed down to the ground. They still had a good ten minute hike to the gate for him to say something.

'Colonel, I just want to apologise.' Jonas began awkwardly as they rounded another corner. 'I know I haven't exactly given a hundred per cent the last few days.'

Jack glanced at him sharply, relieved and pleased at Jonas's words. Maybe it wouldn't be difficult after all. 'So...'

'So, I know I have to do better.' Jonas said.

They were at the rings and Jack was saved from having to reply as they took their places and the technician ringed them to the surface.

'Jonas,' Jack cleared his throat as they began walking, 'you know we've all been there.'

'You have?' Jonas turned to him wide-eyed and curious.

Jack lifted a hand from his gun. 'Sure. What guy hasn't been, uh...you know.' He grimaced. 'Dumped.'

'Is this the fish thing?' Jonas asked.

'Fish thing?' Jack's eyebrows crept up. He looked at Jonas bemused.

'Teal'c mentioned something about there being a multitude of fish.'

'The saying is there are plenty of fish in the sea.' Jack interrupted.

'And I'm not sure what that has to do with dating.' Jonas completed.

'It's a saying.' Jack explained impatiently. 'There are plenty of fish in the sea so there are plenty of choices, you know,' he made a gesture with one hand, 'out there.' Although sometimes you found the fish, Jack mused, but never got the chance to go fishing.

Jonas looked at him with a curious expression. 'Why fish?'

'It's just a metaphor.' Jack said brusquely. 'Look, I think what Teal'c was trying to say was that Stacey's not the only girl in the world – galaxy even.'

'Oh, I know that.' Jonas said, looking surprised Jack thought anything else. 'And it's not that.' He sighed. 'It's just...' his voice trailed away. 'Sorry, Colonel, you probably don't want to know this.'

Jack sighed. 'Probably not but tell me anyway.'

'It just made me realise the person I am now.' Jonas explained. 'I mean, I've never really thought about myself being a soldier or being in danger and what that would mean for someone I was dating.'

'OK.' Jack got that. When they'd met Jonas he'd been an advisor to his government; a scientific geek more used to labs and experiments than field work.

'And it made me realise that I'd allowed myself to get distracted.' Jonas said.

'So you've been distracted for the past few days because you've been working out that you've been distracted?' Jack asked caustically.

'Right.' Jonas nodded in agreement. 'I came to Earth to help my people, Colonel. Dating someone...it distracted me from that.'

Jack grimaced. 'You're allowed to have a life, Jonas.'

'I just want to make a difference.' Jonas stated.

Warning bells started ringing in Jack's head at Jonas's fervent statement. He'd heard Daniel say the same thing – right before he'd gotten himself killed – Ascended - whatever.

'Jonas,' he gestured at him, 'you're doing a good job.'

Jonas flushed, his cheeks reddening. 'That's good of you to say, Colonel, but...'

'Ah!' Jack held up a finger. 'There is no but.'

Jonas frowned.

Jack sighed. The Kelownan's stubborn expression gave away that he might have heard the words but he wasn't listening. A motion ahead of him caught his eye; Carter and Teal'c by the DHD. They were almost at the Stargate.

He'd keep an eye on Jonas for the next couple of missions, Jack determined. Make sure he didn't do anything stupid like trying to save an entire city from radiation poisoning. He'd lost one team member to an over-developed need to make a difference; he wasn't losing another.


	44. Making a Difference

**Author's Note: **Jonas & Cassie friendship. Mild Sam/Jack UST. Teal'c and Bra'tac friendship.

**Prophecy Recap:** _SG1 are visiting a planet which is under the rule of Ba'al and having dinner with the villagers. Ellori, an elder, hints that he believes that SG1 has arrived to fulfil an ancient prophecy that will free the villagers from the Goa'uld. Jonas has a vision of Chazen, a fellow villager, telling Ellori it would be foolish to disobey Lord Mot who collects the naquadah they mine. A moment later, Jonas's vision plays out for real. He collapses._

_Back at the SGC, Janet uncovers some unusual brain activity and suggests follow-up tests. Jonas claims he feels fine. At the debriefing, he has another vision of Sam inviting him for lunch. Jonas's second vision also comes true. More tests are run and Janet finds a spot on an MRI. Jonas is removed from duty. SG1 reassure him its only to be careful but Jonas points out that they didn't believe him about the bugs and they were real; he has a vision of a Tok'ra arriving and a moment later it happens. _

_Sina, the Tok'ra tells them that Ba'al has just lost a battle against Yu. If Lord Mot has been deceiving Ba'al about the planet, Mot will make his move imminently to take control of it. Sam and Jonas theorise that maybe his new ability is down to Nirrti. Janet has found a tumour and arranges for a neurosurgeon to remove it. Jonas requests permission to see if the condition stabilises – precognition could be a useful tool in the field. He is given twenty-four hours but is stood down from the mission to return to the planet. Janet tries to reassure Jonas that he is valuable just as himself but he has a vision of Sam being injured and races to the control room to stop her from leaving. Sam is annoyed when both Jack and Hammond agree for her to be removed from the mission just in case. _

_On the planet, Chazen betrays them and informs Mot. Meanwhile back at the SGC, Sam is injured when the gate capacitor blows up. Her heart stops briefly before Janet is able to revive her. Jonas feels guilty and apologises. Sam tells him not to worry and theorises that Jonas is seeing possible futures. Chazen stuns SG1 and SG15 with a zat; they are taken as prisoners. Mot arrives and Jack refuses to tell him anything. At the SGC, Jonas has a vision of SG15's iris code being used to fool the SGC into lowering the iris. Jaffa arrive and set off a bomb destroying the SGC. Jonas attempts to get more information despite Janet's concerns. _

_Ellori's daughter, Natania, drugs the Jaffa guards and frees Jack, Teal'c and SG15. Jonas sees a vision of the teams getting ambushed; he informs Sam as he is rushed to surgery. Sam tells Hammond and they dial the planet and radio the team. But the radios are in a tent with Chazen and he orders the alarm sounded. The alarm enables the Earth teams to realise the ambush early. Mot punishes Chazen with the hand device but Natania kills Mot. As Jonas undergoes surgery, the SGC lowers the iris but has filled the gate room with heavy duty personnel and armoury. SG15, Jack and Teal'c come through much to their relief._

_Jonas is recovering and SG1 pay him a visit; they tell him the planet is free. Jack tells Jonas to get better soon as they need him in the field and after he leaves, Jonas wonders if Jack was OK. Sam tells him she was certain Jack would warm to him one day. _

**Making a Difference**

The infirmary was quiet. Too quiet. Jonas Quinn sighed and slapped shut the book he was reading with a grimace. His hand strayed up to the bandage on his head and grazed the rough fabric before falling back down to the bed. He'd had extensive brain surgery only seven days before to remove a tumour that had allowed him to see visions of the future.

He was bored.

Very bored.

The rest of SG1 were off-world attending a celebration feast with the people of the planet they had just liberated. Nyan, the Bedrosian archaeologist who had befriended him had stopped by earlier to visit but had left when Doctor Fraiser had arrived to examine Jonas. She had left him with the strict instruction to rest.

He had rested, Jonas thought defensively. But he was bored.

And lonely.

He sighed deeply.

Footsteps had him turning hopefully towards the door only to sink back on his pillows in disappointment when they went past. His fingers tapped impatiently on top of the scratchy blanket.

He was disappointed that he couldn't attend the celebration feast but even he conceded that he wasn't quite up to 'gate travel. But he'd also been surprised Samantha Carter had been allowed to attend given her own injury; the burn across her upper arm was a bad one, and her heart had stopped beating for a moment. It had been a week since it had happened though and Jonas knew the CMO would never have declared Sam fit if she wasn't.

They would be back in a few hours, Jonas reminded himself. Sam would tell him stories of the villagers; Teal'c would sit with him and the Colonel would...bring him jello.

He pulled a face. He had spent the better part of a year trying to impress his team leader; trying to earn his place on SG1. Jonas frowned slightly. At first he'd felt guilty about Daniel Jackson but he'd accepted that he couldn't take the other man's place after his old professor had given him some advice to be himself. He'd settled after that and he'd been doing a good job; the Colonel had even said so a couple of times. But he had still felt like he had a lot to prove, that he still needed to make a difference, and the ability to see the future had seemed like a gift; a gift that had almost killed him.

Jonas stared up at the ceiling. He really didn't have a death wish. He felt enormously guilty about helping his country build a bomb that had no doubt killed many on his homeworld but he accepted his responsibility to repair what he had helped to destroy. Working with SG1, finding a practical use for naquadria beyond blowing things up; finding a way to make a difference – to redeem himself...that's what he wanted.

He had come close to dying. He shivered at the thought. He had wanted so badly to see the future; to ensure the safety of the Colonel and Teal'c, of the SGC, that he had almost left it too late for them to extract the tumour from his brain. It was a sobering thought.

He picked up the book he had discarded, trying to distract himself. He turned the page back to the one he had been reading, ignoring the sound of footsteps in the corridor.

'Hey.'

The cheerful call from the doorway had him turning his head much quicker than he was supposed to; he winced as a twinge of pain skittered through him but he covered with a bright smile for the teenage girl entering his infirmary room.

'Cassie.'

She grinned at him but her eyes were serious as they took in his bandaged head. 'Mom said I could come bug you.'

Jonas's eyebrows lifted imperceptibly. 'Really?'

'Sam usually plays chess with me.' Cassie explained. 'But as she's off-world...'

Jonas hurriedly set aside the book and waved her over. 'I haven't played that often.' He apologised as she set her pack down on the bottom of the bed and pulled out a portable chess board.

'I can explain it to you if you get stuck.' Cassie said absently as she opened the board out on the bed – Jonas obligingly moved over to the other side.

They played for a while in silence; Jonas lying on his side with Cassie sat on the end of the bed cross-legged.

Cassie winced as Jonas took another pawn. 'I thought you didn't remember how to play this?'

'I'm a quick study.' He grinned at her and held up her pawn.

She rolled her eyes and made her next move.

Jonas frowned. She was good; very good. He debated briefly before he moved his next piece. 'So, it's nice of you to come and see me.'

Cassie shrugged. 'It's no big deal.' She gestured over at the balloons and cards on his bedside table. 'I should have brought you something.'

'You did.' Jonas pointed out. 'You brought chess.'

Cassie laughed before her eyes strayed back to the get well cards. 'Has Stacey been to see you?'

The question about his ex-girlfriend was delivered casually but Jonas could detect the hint of anger under the words. Cassie had helped him out with some good advice when he'd started his relationship with Lieutenant Rush and he suspected that the teenager was angrier about his being dumped than he was.

'She's not allowed on base since her transfer.' He replied easily. 'Angie, her house-mate, dropped a card in yesterday.'

Cassie snorted in disgust. She took his knight.

'You're too hard on her.' Jonas said as he made another defensive move. 'It's better that she ended it if she really couldn't deal with my work.'

'She knew you worked on a frontline team.' Cassie rejoined. 'It's not like she's the only one who has to live with the possibility that someone they care about might not come home.'

Jonas glanced up at her. She was looking down at the board with a faint frown. 'I guess you live with it all the time.' He mused out loud.

Cassie lifted a shoulder. 'It's OK.'

'Really?' Jonas asked, curious.

'Well, not OK, OK.' Cassie sighed heavily and moved her rook. 'I mean if someone gave _me_ a vote I'd never allow you guys off-world but...' she looked up at him, 'then who would save someone like me on another world?'

Jonas gave a slow nod, mindful of his head.

'Plus, you know, I've kind of been through the whole thing already with Daniel doing his glowy thing.' Cassie said bluntly. 'It sucks but I have my Mom and I have you guys.' She shrugged again. 'I got through it.'

'I'm sorry.' The words tumbled out before Jonas could stop them.

Cassie stared at him, startled.

Jonas lifted a hand from the bed. 'I just...I think I'll always feel like it was my fault that he died...Ascended.' He admitted. 'I should have done something.'

Cassie gestured at the board and Jonas focused for a moment to make his move.

'I'm sorry too.' She said.

Jonas looked at her bemused. 'What for?'

'Nirrti.' Cassie flushed and looked down; her long hair falling to hide her face. 'It was my fault that she was...out there.' She turned a chess piece over nervously in one hand and her eyes darted back to his. 'They let her go because of me.'

'That wasn't your fault.' Jonas retorted strongly. 'You were ill.'

'It doesn't make me feel less guilty.' Cassie said simply. 'I mean, Sam almost died. You almost died. I know that Russian guy did and...'

'And that wasn't your fault.' Jonas reiterated. 'Nirrti was responsible for what she did. Not you.'

'And Daniel was responsible for what he did.' Cassie shot back.

Jonas's mouth fell open and he was certain he must have looked like a stunned bredden cat. He slowly closed his mouth. 'Sneaky.' He managed eventually.

Cassie smiled.

'So, you don't feel responsible?' Jonas checked.

'No, I do.' Cassie admitted. 'You know, sometimes. Like when I heard about Sam or you. But then...' she grimaced, 'you're going to think I'm odd.'

'I won't.' Jonas promised.

She looked at him carefully as though gauging whether to trust him and finally she sighed. 'I had this dream about Daniel and he told me it wasn't my fault.'

'So...'

'So, it just makes me feel better, you know?' Cassie said, gesturing with the chess piece she held. 'I mean, he's supposed to be on this other plane of reality and all-knowing, right?'

Jonas took a breath to answer and realised he didn't need to as she ploughed on.

'So if he thinks it wasn't my fault then maybe it isn't.' Cassie finished.

'OK.' Jonas said, moving a bishop into position. 'I get that.'

'Do you ever dream about Daniel?' Cassie asked suddenly. Her eyes were back on the board assessing Jonas's strategy.

'Sometimes.' Jonas admitted. 'I replay what happened in the lab mostly.' He watched as she moved her Queen out of harm's way. 'I wish I'd known him better.'

'He was so cool.' Cassie said. 'And sweet. Really sweet.' Her face softened. 'He would come over and help me with my homework or tell me stories about the digs he'd been on.'

'You miss him.'

'Yeah.' Cassie motioned for him to move.

Jonas looked at the board and shuffled his King to a different square.

'I would, maybe, kind of miss you too.' Cassie said quietly.

Jonas glanced at her sharply.

Cassie made a face. 'If you, you know...'

'Thank you.' Jonas said, unsure what to say.

'Mom didn't say much but I remember when I had powers.' Cassie commented as she took another of his pawns. 'I didn't want to give them up even if it killed me.'

'I didn't want to die.' Jonas denied. He moved a piece without thinking. 'I just...wanted to be useful.'

'So what was your thing?' Cassie asked brightly.

'Thing?'

She rolled her eyes at him again. 'Power. Mom wouldn't tell me yours. The whole doctor confidentiality thing.' She held up the knight she had picked up. 'I had telekinesis.' She placed the knight down.

'I could see the future.' Jonas said, absently playing another move.

'Cool.'

'I thought so.' Jonas said.

Cassie took his Queen. 'Check.' She grinned. 'Bet you didn't see that.'

Jonas laughed. 'Another game?'

'I think you need to rest.' Janet's voice had them both turning towards the doorway where the doctor stood, hands in the pockets of her white medical coat, smiling indulgently at them both. 'Come on, Cassie.'

Cassie was careful to turn away from her mother before she rolled her eyes and Jonas stifled the smile it prompted as she quickly packed away the chess board.

'Thanks.' He said sincerely.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek briefly. ''Bye!'

Janet nodded at Jonas as she placed an arm around her daughter's shoulders and ushered her out.

Jonas yawned suddenly. He wriggled down under the blankets and settled back against the pillows. Maybe a rest wasn't such a bad idea...

o-O-o

Sam took a deep breath and determinedly ignored the way her arm was aching as she focused on the food in front of her. Sam's throat closed up against a piece of dry chicken and she hurriedly drank some fruit juice to moisten her mouth. She swallowed with difficulty; the meat scraping past the back of her throat uncomfortably. Although the SGC had sent food through the wormhole as the Earth contribution to the celebration feast, it was impacted from being transported and served cold hours after preparation. It was the food that was mostly causing her discomfort, Sam thought defiantly, refusing to admit even to herself that the pain might also be responsible.

But it could also be because she also felt a little out of place, Sam admitted silently. She had been excluded from the mission after Jonas's prediction had made it seem like she would be injured taking part. As it was she had been injured helping with the gate. She let out a small sigh certain no-one was watching her. The members of SG15, SG3 and SG10 and even her own team-mates were all busy on other tables laughing and joking with the villagers they had helped free.

But not her.

Nope. For one thing, it seemed like she was on a table with every other woman in the village. The separate table thing bugged her. She might have lost some of her feminist zeal with maturity but she still had enough that it bugged her. She also didn't understand it; she hadn't been excluded at the first meal SG1 had shared with the villagers. Added to that, she didn't particularly feel right being congratulated on a victory she had played no part in. Well, not _no_ part, Sam corrected; she had argued to help the villagers after SG1's original meeting with them.

Natania, the daughter of the village elder who had led the insurgence against the Goa'uld, also looked highly uncomfortable. According to the Colonel it had been Natania who had helped free him and the rest of SG15 so Sam couldn't fathom why the other women were ignoring her. Still, Sam's own efforts to engage her in conversation hadn't gone well. Natania had slowly retreated behind a wall of dark hair.

Sam gave up on her food and pushed her plate away. She took another sip of juice. Natania reacted immediately. She stood up and swept the plate away, disappearing into the dwelling where SG1 had left their belongings earlier.

Her arm protested again and Sam grimaced. She had clipped her arm with her pack earlier and she had a feeling the walk from the Stargate had disturbed the bandage. She should probably check on it. She made her excuses and followed Natania into the small building. The front of the house was an open plan living and kitchen area.

Natania turned from her place at the rustic sink with its lever handle to pump water and deep trough. 'Major Carter.'

'Sorry.' Sam said, trying a smile. 'I, uh, was hoping there would be a bathroom or something private area I could use?' She pointed at her arm. 'I, uh, hurt my arm and I need to check on it.'

'You are injured?' Natania's face creased with worry and she left her dishes.

'Yes.' Sam pulled a face to lessen the bluntness of the word. 'If you...'

Natania waved at her to follow.

Sam hurriedly picked up her pack and made her way through the doorway to the back rooms. She stepped into a bright and cheerful bedroom. There was a beautiful turquoise quilt covering the bed and Sam exclaimed at seeing it.

'Wow, this is beautiful.' She placed her pack on the floor unwilling to set it down on the silken material.

'It was a wedding gift.' Natania explained as she closed the shutters. 'My mother and aunts worked on it for days.'

'It's stunning.' Sam said sincerely. She gestured back out towards the front. 'I have to admit I didn't realise that your village segregated the men from the women.'

'My father made an exception for you during your first meeting.' Natania explained as she gestured for Sam to sit on the bed. 'But it is not usual for our women to assume the roles of men.'

'Is that why the others are ignoring you?' The question was out before Sam could call it back and she grimaced at the shock on Natania's face.

'I killed a God.' Natania replied, dropping her gaze; her face was filled with shame.

'He wasn't a God.' Sam automatically corrected, sitting down gingerly. She looked at Natania's pale face carefully. 'You did the right thing.'

Natania breathed in sharply and suddenly looked up, her gaze fierce and determined. 'Have you killed someone?'

Sam nodded. 'Yes.'

'Do you believe you will be punished?' Natania asked bluntly.

'You mean...'

'Beyond this life.' Natania said.

Sam sighed and attempted a small smile. 'I don't know.' She rubbed a hand over her thigh. 'I was brought up to believe that I would be judged when I died.' She bit her lip. 'But I know I've only killed to save myself or others, and that I regret it every time so I hope that makes a difference.'

Natania sat down beside her. 'Do you...do you regret it even when it is the Goa'uld?'

'Even then.' Sam admitted. 'I killed one myself a few years back, Sethesh. He was going to strike at me and before he could I...I killed him.' She shuddered at the memory; of holding her arm out and the power streaming through her into the hand device, blasting out into Seth. 'I felt sick.'

'Me too.' Natania sighed. She wrapped her arms around her stomach. 'I wanted to kill Lord Mot for taking the life of my husband.' She confessed.

'I can't imagine what you went through...what you're going through.' Sam murmured. 'My friend, Teal'c? His people believe a lot in vengeance as a way of justice. He would understand your reasoning and more than that he would admire you for it.'

Natania smiled tremulously. 'I do not believe I can think that way.'

'I think you're right to feel bad.' Sam said quietly. 'I think if you don't then that would be wrong, but I think you have to know that whatever reason motivated you to kill him, his death means your people are free of him, and that will save lives.'

'My father called me a hero but I don't feel like I did something heroic.'

'You are a hero.' Sam replied softly. She held up a hand. 'Not for killing the Goa'uld but being brave and helping my people escape; in having the courage to stand up for someone else; to save the life of someone else even though you were scared.' She placed a hand on Natania's shoulder. 'That's what makes you heroic.'

Natania's eyes were bright with tears but she nodded, and swiftly swiped at her face as one or two fell onto her cheeks.

Sam squeezed her shoulder gently. Her arm twinged again and she didn't hide her wince quickly enough.

'You are in pain.' Natania said. 'I will leave you.'

'Uh, thanks.' Sam said, feeling a little awkward. She waited until Natania was gone before she unzipped her green jacket and shrugged it off with a wince. The white bandage peeked out starkly from under her black t-shirt. Sam frowned as she registered the yellow patch on the bandage just under the t-shirt.

The wound must have broken open and started to seep again, she thought with resignation. Janet was not going to be happy. The CMO had only allowed Sam off-world because it was ostensibly a non-risk mission. Sam frowned as she began to slowly remove the bandage. She struggled to reach the tape that disappeared under her sleeve.

There was a sharp rap on the door. 'Carter.' The Colonel's voice travelled through the wood.

Her head snapped up sharply. 'In here, sir.'

Jack opened the door and regarded her with concern before he crossed to her and gently took hold of her arm. He pulled a face at the sodden bandage. 'Doc's going to kill me.'

Sam's lips twitched. 'I was going to change the bandage, I'm just having some difficulty getting it off.'

Jack pushed her sleeve up to see the extent of the seepage. He sighed. 'Take off your shirt, Carter.'

Sam watched as he turned around to give her the illusion of privacy. She suppressed the urge to sigh. She slowly eased out of her t-shirt and held it over her chest. 'Sir.'

He turned back and she looked away as he stripped the bandage from her arm. She heard him rooting in her pack for the medical supplies they carried and flinched as he began to clean the seeping wound.

'How bad is it?' Sam asked when he remained silent.

'Bad.' Jack said.

There was something in his tone that made her look at him and she caught the guilt that swam through his eyes before he masked his expression.

'It wasn't your fault, sir, anymore than it was Jonas's.' Sam said softly.

Jack glanced at her. 'I supported the call to pull you from the mission, Carter. It kinda makes it somewhat my fault that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.'

'Sir, it's possible that I might have been injured by a staff weapon if I'd been assigned to the mission.' Sam argued. 'We have no way of knowing whether the decision to pull me led to the injury Jonas actually saw in his vision or whether...' she stumbled to a halt.

'You were destined to get injured?' Jack said caustically.

Sam smiled tentatively. 'Well, maybe not _destined_...but yes; maybe it was always in my future.'

There was silence while Jack continued to clean her arm. He smeared some cream over the exposed flesh and she looked away as he replaced the gauze and began to wrap her arm in a fresh bandage.

'We should ask Dad to heal it.' Jack said conversationally.

Sam stiffened. 'With respect, sir, I can't run to my Dad every time I get injured.'

'I was thinking of asking him to help out Jonas too, Carter.' Jack said mildly. 'Teal'c wants to go to the Alpha site tomorrow so it's not like we'd be making a special trip.'

She felt him secure the bandage with tape. 'Well, I guess that would be OK.'

'So glad you approve, Carter.' Jack smirked back at her.

'Oh, I'm sorry.' Natania's voice had them both turning to the door. The dark-haired woman gestured at them. 'I did not realise you were bonded.'

'Bonded? Us?' Sam stuttered. 'No, no, we're not bonded, we're...' she darted a glance at the Colonel and found him grinning back at her stumbling explanation. She glared at him.

'Friends.' Jack supplied easily, stepping away from her. He gestured back at Sam. 'We're friends, right, Carter?'

'Right, sir.' Sam ignored the ache of disappointment his words evoked. She knew she shouldn't want more from him than that but it seemed her heart still had to get the message.

'I was just helping her the way a friend helps another friend.' Jack explained to Natania.

Natania raised an eyebrow.

'Well.' Jack clapped his hands together. 'I'll be outside.' He gave Sam an apologetic smile and made a swift exit.

Sam hurriedly replaced her t-shirt. 'So, here...' she began.

'Only a husband may see a wife so undressed.' Natania confirmed.

Sam sighed. 'Yeah. That's what I thought.' Great, she mused; she'd probably just broken a dozen respectability rules being partially naked in front of the Colonel. She replaced her jacket and gestured at the door. 'Shall we rejoin the others?'

Natania looked as pleased as Sam felt about the prospect.

'Or,' Sam suggested with a smile, 'we could stay here and talk.' She smoothed a hand over the quilt. 'Perhaps you can tell me of your husband.'

Natania hurried over to sit beside her.

o-O-o

Once he had known that he would stay at the Alpha site for an extended period of time, Bra'tac had erected a large tent in the area designated as the Jaffa quarter. He preferred it to the barracks that the Tau'ri had constructed. The material was hard-wearing and water-proof; there was a brazier in the corner to warm the air. He had covered the ground with the rubber sheeting the Tau'ri had provided but had strewn bright rugs over it to provide warmth and comfort. The camp bed was also covered with soft blankets and coverings that he had recovered from his home on Chulak.

A small table and two chairs took up another corner of the large space. Bra'tac often had someone call in on his dwelling to talk. Most nights, the Tok'ra Selmak and her host, Jacob Carter, would visit. Other times, it was Rak'nor, M'Zel or another of the men who had stepped up to take the place of the fallen at Kresh'tar.

The thought made him pause momentarily in the act of packing his bag. He had come close to dying but Teal'c had saved him by sharing his Goa'uld symbiote, and then a new drug had saved them both. Bra'tac reached for the vial of tretonin beside him and slowly turned it over in his hand.

It was strange to be without a symbiote. The balance of his body had changed; the strength imbued by the Goa'uld's healing capabilities gone. It was different. Yet Bra'tac had never felt more alive. He had known that another young symbiote would not accept him when his own died; he had been counting his days but no longer. He was free of the Goa'uld and he would live many more days because of that. He clasped the tretonin to his chest before he placed it carefully into his pack.

He could hear approaching footsteps and waited patiently for the tap on the front pole that would signal the request to enter before he called out a welcome.

'Bra'tac.' Jacob ducked under the open flap and walked over to Bra'tac. The Tok'ra liaison wore the green fatigues of the Earth BDU. They showed his rank and Bra'tac knew gained the other man greater credibility with the warriors of the Tau'ri than the beige and stone colours of the Tok'ra.

'My friend.' Bra'tac responded warmly, clasping Jacob's extended forearm firmly. 'You have come to wish me well, hmmm?'

'Are you sure this is wise?' Jacob asked, immediately getting to the point of his visit with a bluntness that Bra'tac appreciated.

'We must regain our numbers if we are to win our freedom.' Bra'tac replied mildly, his dark eyes twinkling. It was an old argument between them since Bra'tac had first proposed setting out on a recruitment campaign.

Jacob sighed but he reached into his jacket and pulled out a package wrapped carefully in brown paper. 'This is a gift from Selmak.' He handed it to Bra'tac. 'It's more tretonin so you have spare if you get caught up somewhere.'

'It is appreciated.' Bra'tac said warmly. He inclined his head. 'My thanks to Selmak and you.'

'Actually, I think we're jealous we're not coming with you.' Jacob admitted with an edge of frustration that seeped through the light tone.

'Problems?' Bra'tac probed gently.

Jacob shrugged. 'Council meetings.'

'Ah.' The word held a wealth of understanding. It seemed bureaucracy was a universal irritant to progress no matter what the race.

'Good luck.'

Jacob offered his arm again and Bra'tac patted his shoulder as he clasped it. He would miss his discussions with Jacob and Selmak. They had become close since they had both stayed on the Alpha site to ensure that their respective camps of Tok'ra and Jaffa continued to remain civil towards one another.

He waited until the other man had left before he packed the rest of the tretonin away and continued his preparation for the trip. He had almost finished when he heard more footsteps approaching the tent. Perhaps more than one approached, Bra'tac mused, tilting his head as though uncertain. He made out Rya'c's footfall first; the young man had not quite mastered the technique of giving no warning unlike the person with him who was barely distinguishable. It must be Teal'c, Bra'tac determined, knowing there were very few warriors who could achieve such a feat. His brow creased. He had not expected his protégée to visit the Alpha site before he and Rya'c began their trip. His two visitors swept into the tent before Bra'tac could consider it further.

'Tek ma te.' Teal'c said as Bra'tac greeted him.

'I was not expecting you.' Bra'tac admitted.

'I would not have missed wishing you both safe journey and success on your endeavour.' Teal'c replied stiffly.

The two of them had already disagreed over Bra'tac's plan when he had originally made the suggestion.

Bra'tac glanced over at Rya'c. 'Are you ready to depart?'

'I have a few more things to pack, Master Bra'tac.' Rya'c said, inclining his young head in respect.

'Then go finish your preparations.' Bra'tac instructed. 'Return here when you are done.'

Rya'c left swiftly, leaving Teal'c and Bra'tac alone.

'If you have come to dissuade me...' Bra'tac began, placing his hands on top of his small pack.

'I have not.' Teal'c denied.

Bra'tac waited patiently; observing the way Teal'c's jaw clenched and unclenched; the barely restrained urge to move that tensed his every muscle.

'We need warriors.' Teal'c conceded gruffly.

'I am glad you see that.' Bra'tac said mildly.

'I am not convinced this is the way.' Teal'c shot back. He clasped his hands behind his back; his chin inched up a notch belligerently. 'If I learned anything from Kresh'tar, it is to be cautious in trusting other Jaffa with our cause.'

'We cannot allow one Jaffa's betrayal to prevent us from trusting those who would join us, Teal'c.' Bra'tac contradicted.

'We were lucky to survive.' Teal'c rejoined. 'Had I allowed Rya'c to attend with us...' he stopped abruptly.

Bra'tac raised his eyebrows as Teal'c's real concern became evident. 'Your son does you proud in assisting me.'

'He is young.' Teal'c said.

'And yet he has proven himself committed to our cause.' Bra'tac argued. A thought startled him and he spoke it out loud angrily. 'Do you not trust me with his safety?'

Teal'c held his fierce accusing gaze with his own. 'We are not the warriors we once were.' He looked away from Bra'tac. 'Tretonin has changed us.'

Bra'tac felt his own ire seep away at the unhappiness Teal'c could not hide and concern for the Jaffa he considered to be a son to him rushed through him. 'You are troubled.'

'I am concerned.' Teal'c snapped back.

Bra'tac refused to let Teal'c's anger spark his own. 'With or without the Goa'uld symbiote, Teal'c; we are warriors.'

Teal'c turned to him and Bra'tac held a breath waiting for him to confide whatever troubled him. But a rush of footsteps had them both turning to the tent entrance and a moment later Rya'c's beaming face appeared.

'I am ready.' The young Jaffa said gleefully.

'Then we will depart.' Bra'tac said. He glanced at Teal'c expecting him to protest but Teal'c simply moved to join Rya'c outside of the tent. Bra'tac looked around briskly, checking to ensure the brazier was cold before he picked up his pack, slinging it cross ways over his torso. He took hold of his staff weapon and joined them.

He found Teal'c and his son in the midst of a discussion about Jonas Quinn and an ability to see the future.

'It is a shame such a gift could not be saved.' Bra'tac remarked as they made their way to the Stargate. 'It would provide a formidable advantage in battle.'

'Indeed.' Teal'c agreed.

They all came to a halt beside the DHD.

Bra'tac provided the coordinates to the young Tau'ri guard on duty and he pressed the symbols allowing the small group of Jaffa to say goodbye.

Teal'c hugged his son fiercely before pulling back, his large hands on Rya'c's shoulders as he gazed at him. 'Listen to Master Bra'tac.'

'I will, Father.' Rya'c promised eagerly. 'We will bring many new warriors to join us; you'll see.'

Teal'c squeezed his shoulders; his expression softened with paternal love and pride. 'I have no doubt.'

Rya'c stepped away from his father and Teal'c stepped forward towards Bra'tac.

The two men clasped the other's forearm strongly. Bra'tac swallowed his words of reassurance that he would look after Rya'c; Teal'c was already aware that he would do so and he saw no need to say it out loud and embarrass the boy.

'We will keep Rak'nor updated to our progress.' He said instead.

Teal'c bowed his head in understanding that it was as much reassurance as he would get. He let go of Bra'tac's arm as the wormhole blossomed out in front of them.

Bra'tac hovered momentarily. He considered his own struggle to reconcile the changes in his body from using tretonin. For Teal'c – a Jaffa at the height of his physical prowess – the difference would be even more marked. He wished for a second that he had the time to reassure Teal'c yet he was not certain the other Jaffa was even ready to hear such a reassurance. And the mission awaited. Rak'nor had arranged a contact on the planet they were travelling to who would provide them with a ship; they could not tarry.

'Ral tora ke.' Teal'c said softly as though understanding Bra'tac's thoughts.

Perhaps he did, Bra'tac thought with a touch of amusement at the simple wish of good luck; of acceptance that the mission was important if the Jaffa were to make a difference in the fight against the Goa'uld, and took priority no matter how much Teal'c may wish it otherwise.

Bra'tac had no doubt that Teal'c would find peace with the changes tretonin had made to his body eventually. He inclined his head and nodded at Rya'c. It was time to leave. They moved forward together. Bra'tac did not look back as he entered the wormhole but he knew without a doubt that Teal'c watched them until the last possible moment.

o-O-o

The Jaraesh were a primitive species; ape-like in appearance with bodies covered in thick pelts of black hair. The men were indistinguishable from the women and Daniel was beginning to suspect they were androgynous. Fascinating, he considered as he leaned on the sandy temple wall and watched the battle between the Jaraesh and Anubis's forces on the steps of the temple with interest.

The Jaraesh were making up for primitive weapons – some kind of spear and a variant of a club from what he could make out – with sheer numbers. The Jaffa were barely holding their own. It would have amused him if he hadn't known that sacrificing the contingent of Jaffa attacking the front of the temple was part of the plan. It drew attention away from the small group sneaking in the back through the jungle-like forest that surrounded the crumbling structure. He might not like Herak, Anubis's First Prime, but he had to concede the Jaffa had come up with a good strategy even if a number of the Jaffa would die meaningless deaths because of it.

Depressed at the thought, Daniel phased through the wall and into the inner chamber. He was alone in the dark space. He absently lit one of the wall torches. The Eye of Apophis sat on an altar alongside a number of other ornaments. He sighed and approached it. He picked it up and examined it. It looked remarkably similar to the fake a conman had tried to sell to Herak but he could feel the power humming through the crystal. The Eye was real. He set it back down.

He had hoped that the search for the Eye of Apophis would prove fruitless. Herak had already travelled half-way across the galaxy in search of it. Unfortunately, it seemed that Herak would finally be successful and Anubis would have five of the six Eyes he needed to recreate an Ancient weapon capable of destroying planets.

The gold that edged the Eye glinted with the light from the torch. He could destroy it so easily, Daniel thought tiredly. He could reach out with his mind and drain the crystal of its power; he could shatter it into tiny fragments; he could erase its existence from the universe as though it had never existed.

For a second, power hummed through him; tempting him...

It would be so easy...

He sighed heavily and turned away; the power draining away and leaving only frustration.

He hated not being able to do anything. Having to stand back and watch people being slaughtered. Seeing friends tortured; dying. He had Ascended in the mistaken belief that he could do more, that he could make a difference. He hadn't Ascended to stand on the sidelines and do nothing.

Daniel took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He could already sense that his tumultuous emotions had created a storm outside that was drenching the Jaffa and Jaraesh.

He was bound by the rules, he reminded himself. And despite hating his inability to help, he was learning so much, gaining so much knowledge...

A sound caught his attention – the rough grate of stone on stone – and he made himself invisible, shifting into the Ascended plane where he couldn't be seen. He hurriedly snuffed out the light he had lit, plunging the room into darkness.

A young Jaffa entered the chamber first; Herak sending him on ahead in case there were booby traps. The torch he held lit up the dark interior again. Herak himself entered a moment later. The blond-haired Jaffa made straight for the altar and the Eye. He picked it up and held it aloft before giving a grunt of satisfaction. He whirled around and left.

Daniel followed him back to the alkesh. Herak placed the Eye in a large ornate box and placed it in a secure drawer before he made his way to the front and punched in the command to open subspace communications.

Anbus's image flickered onto the screen; the Goa'uld was partially turned away from the camera so only his dark cloak was visible. Daniel rolled his eyes. He could practically hear Jack muttering about clichés and over-the-top villains.

'My Lord Anubis.' Herak bowed sharply. 'I bring you good news. We have found and retrieved the Eye of Apophis.'

'As I knew you would.' Anubis said smoothly. His hand waved towards the camera. 'There is now only the Eye of Ra to be located.'

Daniel stiffened with surprise. Ra?

'Yes, my Lord.' Herak said formally. 'Would you like me to begin enquiries?'

'That will not be necessary. I have already searched through Ra's territory. As I know Ra brought the Eye with him when he left the Tau'ri, there is only one place left.' Anubis said. 'The Eye is on this planet.'

Daniel read the gate address over Herak's shoulder as it appeared on the screen. He froze with horror.

It was Abydos.

'Rendezvous with my ship.' Anubis ordered. 'We will leave when you arrive.'

Daniel didn't wait; his decision made without thought. He phased out of the alkesh and into the sky above where he transformed into his Ascended form; a glowing light that winked out in a moment as he made for Abydos.

He was there in barely a heartbeat; an intake of breath. He stood for a long moment, invisible but inside Kasuf's tent.

Apprehension suffused him. What could he do? He was bound by the non-interference rule...but he couldn't do _nothing_. It was Abydos. The planet where he had met and loved Sha're; where he still had family in Kasuf, Skaara and the other Abydonians.

It was time to tell Earth about the Eyes, Daniel surmised with determination; time to warn them. Maybe it was interfering but maybe he could try and pass it off as a bending of the rules. But he would not, could not, simply leave the Abydonians to face Anubis alone.

The other men left the tent and Kasuf was alone. Daniel solidified in front of his father-in-law, causing the older man to gasp and fall to his knees.

Daniel held out his hand and helped him up. 'Good Father.'

'My son.' Kasuf placed his hands on Daniel's cheeks. 'They told me of your death, of your Ascension. How is this possible?'

Daniel took hold of Kasuf's hands and lowered them. He smiled warmly at the man who had adopted him into his family; who had given him Sha're. 'It is good to see you again, Good Father.'

'It is good to see you!' Kasuf grinned at him. 'Wait here! I will send for Skaara! He will want to see you and...'

'Good Father,' Daniel interrupted him briskly, 'I bring urgent news. You will need to call for the other elders.'

'For what reason?' Kasuf asked, halting his own exit to stare at Daniel with trepidation.

Daniel met his gaze grimly. 'Anubis is on his way to Abydos.'


	45. The Descending Trilogy

**Author's Note: **Team friendship. Daniel/Sha're. Mild Sam/Jack UST.

**Full Circle Recap:** _Skaara arrives in the tent of an elder to question the news of Anubis heading to Abydos; he sees Daniel who assures Skaara that the Abydonians won't be alone. Daniel stops an elevator and tells a bemused Jack about the Eyes, about Anubis's secret weapon and the plan to find the last Eye on Abydos. Jack tentatively tells the briefing of the intelligence and warily admits that it came from Daniel; he is surprised when everybody simply accepts his source as Daniel – Teal'c admitting that he too had seen Daniel Jackson._

_SG1 get the go ahead to head to Abydos and they start to search for the Eye as Teal'c sets up a perimeter with the small troop of Abydonians Skaara has gathered. They search in an underground chamber beneath the pyramid but Skaara informs them that while the Eye is mentioned, they have not found it. He also requests that Jack stand as his sha'loki at his wedding. When Skaara asks if Jack will attend the wedding alone, he asks if Sam will be attending and when Skaara teases him that the two will be attending together, Sam takes the opportunity to tease Jack._

_When Jonas notes that he isn't making much headway and with the pyramid coming under attack from the Goa'uld, Jack demands Daniel show himself. Daniel appears and although he protests at Jack's plea to help, concedes. He shows them the wall behind which he thinks the Eye is located. Jack and Skaara go to help hold the pyramid while Daniel, Jonas and Sam try and find the Eye. Teal'c barely makes it back to the pyramid._

_Daniel, Sam and Jonas try and get through the wall; realising light is the answer they use the target light on Sam's P90 and the wall moves. They head into the hidden chamber as the fire-fight in the upper levels of the pyramid becomes intense: Skaara is hit._

_Daniel finds a tablet telling of how the Ancients – the Gate-builders Ascended after a plague swept the galaxy. He realises the Others must be Ancients. He tells them to keep hold of the tablet which tells of a lost city more valuable than anything and departs in his energy form. Sam and Jonas keep looking for the Eye and find it in another hidden chamber in the wall._

_Jack, Teal'c and a wounded Skaara meet up with Jonas and Sam. They've lost the gate room and Anubis has dialled out somewhere preventing their escape. Jack takes hold of the Eye and places C4 on it. Herak arrives and demands they surrender. Jack greets him, recognising him from their previous capture on the mission to meet up with the Tok'ra Khonsu. He threatens to blow up the Eye. Herak leaves to talk with Anubis._

_Herak informs Anubis who tells him that he will destroy Abydos if Jack doesn't hand over the Eye. Daniel appears when Herak leaves and tells Anubis that he will wipe him from existence if he attacks Abydos; Anubis reveals himself to be some form of Ascended being._

_In the pyramid, Skaara Ascends as Daniel continues his confrontation with Anubis. The Goa'uld is suddenly surrounded by the forces of the Goa'uld System Lords. Yu has rallied them against Anubis with the news of the Eye reaching them thanks to Daniel. Daniel tells Anubis that he can tell them to attack Anubis while he is weak, but instead he will hand over the Eye if Anubis promises not to destroy Abydos. Anubis agrees._

_Daniel heads back and when he finds out that Skaara has Ascended he realises Oma is close by. He no longer cares; Anubis is some form of Ascended being. He tells Jack about his deal and to handover the Eye. SG1 will be free to leave. He tells them the tablet is more important; it could lead them to great things and it's imperative that Anubis not gets his hands on it. He tells them the important thing is Abydos and he will fight Anubis if necessary to ensure the planet's safety. _

_Jack hands over the Eye to Herak and they're all slightly surprised when the Jaffa leave, ensuring SG1 can depart too. Above, Anubis gets the Eye and puts it into place; he activates his super weapon and destroys the motherships surrounding him. He states next he will destroy Abydos._

_Daniel tries to stop him but just as he is about to attack, his energy is pulled away. Anubis destroys Abydos just as Jack steps through the wormhole. _

_Back on Earth, they try and redial Abydos but nothing. They despondently note that Abydos could have been hit; that if it was, Daniel's fate is unknown given his determination to protect it. Jonas is given the task of translating the tablet._

_Earth continues to try and dial Abydos and eventually gets a lock; SG1 go through and are surprised to find the Abydonians alive and well. They meet with Skaara who tells them Oma helped them. He doesn't know what happened to Daniel. Skaara bids them goodbye and the other Abydonians disappear along with the pyramid; the Stargate stands alone in the desert. Skaara informs them it will be there until they leave and he disappears too._

_SG1 heads home._

**The Descending Trilogy**

**Part 1: On the Edge**

Everything was white.

It was Daniel Jackson's first cohesive thought after what seemed like an eternity in a void. He could feel his form snapping back with a sharp tug, leaving him weak. How long, he thought almost panicked; how long had he been...he struggled for a description. Gone? Exiled? Scattered across the universe? Wherever it was Oma had sent him when she had forcibly yanked him away from Anubis; whatever she had done to stop him from using his powers to destroy the half-Ascended Goa'uld.

He tried to centre himself. He took a deep breath and let his energy settle into its most familiar form: his human body clothed in white cargo pants and a white sweater that glowed faintly with his Ascended energy. His very spent Ascended energy. Until he rested and allowed it to replenish, Daniel figured he would be hard pressed to light a candle never mind do anything else.

Not that he was allowed to do anything else or anything at all.

Frustration and anger that Oma had stopped him from destroying Anubis bit into him hard on the heels of more panic.

Abydos. What had happened to Abydos?

And where _was_ he? Some kind of Ascended prison? He certainly had no way to leave wherever it was he had landed; he couldn't see a way out and he knew on some fundamental level he couldn't explain that he would need all of his power to break free from the nothingness.

Maybe it hadn't been Oma; maybe it had been the Others who had stopped him. Oma had warned him that interfering would have consequences and there was no doubt that Daniel had stepped over the line.

'_Remember that fine line we were talking about?' Daniel looked at Jack O'Neill, aware of Samantha Carter watching them with expectation, of Jonas Quinn quietly observing, of Teal'c outside the pyramid fighting._

_Jack didn't hesitate to answer him. 'Cross it.'_

_It was an order from the SG1 team leader to a team-member; a plea from one old friend to another._

_But Daniel hadn't crossed the line for Jack when he had begged him during his torture by Ba'al; hadn't crossed it for Teal'c as he lay dying at Kresh'tar; hadn't done it for Sam during her nightmare with the Goa'uld at Steveston or her experience with Nirrti..._

_But it was Abydos in the balance; so many more lives than just one. _

_A memory flickered through Daniel's head; of standing in front of Jack with a staff weapon, Ra behind him and the flash of light in the crowd. He remembered the way Sha're's eyes had met his regardless of the distance between them and the strange sense of belonging that had made his heart ache; how rebellion had flickered to life in his belly as he activated the weapon, turning and firing at Ra, at the alien who would pretend to be a God... _

_Daniel had chosen Abydos then; how he could he not choose it again? _

_He stepped over the line._

Daniel began walking.

Worry chafed at him with every step. He had promised he would allow no harm to come to Abydos. Had Oma stopped Anubis from destroying Abydos? Or had Abydos been destroyed after all? The thought sent a shudder through him. He had promised them. He had promised Jack...his promise seemed so arrogant in hindsight.

And what of his team, his family? Had SG1 made it home to Earth? Were Jack, Sam and Teal'c OK? Jonas? Had they managed to take the Ancient tablet with them that told of the lost city; the city of power that would give them an advantage against Anubis with all his half-Ascended knowledge?

And how had _that_ happened?

How had the Others allowed a Goa'uld to Ascend?

Or maybe they'd had no choice. Maybe anyone could actually achieve Ascension if they knew how to do it. His mind skipped to what he had learned; of an entire race achieving Ascension; the Ancients – the Gate-builders. They were the fabled Others.

Ascension was clearly not what Daniel had believed it to be – a reward for achieving a certain level of wisdom or goodness, or a higher state of being with a responsibility that went with the power. The idea that anyone could Ascend disturbed him on a profound level. If anyone could achieve the power of being Ascended not just those who were essentially _good_ in nature...

A building appeared before him like a mirage in a desert and Daniel hurried towards it, eager to get out of the endless white mist that surrounded him, that left him alone with too many thoughts. He covered the distance quickly and frowned as he recognised it: it was a diner.

An old fashioned sign hung above the door and another in the window proclaimed the pie of the day was apple. He grasped the cold metal of the handle and opened the door, absently hearing the jangle of bells as he closed it behind him. The diner was warm and he was startled to realise how cold he was as the heat seeped through him. There was a smell of bacon, fried oil and baked goods mingling in the air, stirring his senses back into life.

His stomach grumbled and his mouth watered. He was hungry, Daniel realised with shock: he hadn't been hungry during his Ascension before. He rubbed his belly and looked around for a table. The faded orange leather booths were all empty. He made his way to one and sat down. He plucked the laminated menu off the Formica table and read it with a frown.

Everything seemed so familiar and his memory stirred again.

'_I'm sorry, Daniel.' The heavily accented voice of his grandfather rolled through him._

_Daniel kept his eyes firmly fixed to the waffles._

'_I can't care for you.' Nicholas Ballard continued. 'It will be better for you to have a family.'_

_He'd had a family; his mother and father. They'd died. They'd buried them. He didn't want another family. He wanted his mother and father back. But he could tell the old man didn't want him. Nobody wanted him. He didn't belong anywhere._

'_Daniel.'_

_Daniel kept his eyes on his waffles and blinked hard as they blurred._

The jangle of the doorbell had Daniel jerking back to the present, his gaze shooting up to look at the newcomer. It was a fifty-something man; balding, overweight and wearing a badly fitted suit. He was red-cheeked and grinning.

'Wow, it sure is dead in here today.' The stranger's jovial tone contrasted with his cold eyes. He pointed at Daniel. 'You're new.'

'Is it usually busy?' Daniel asked politely.

'No.' The man smiled again. 'Not usually.' He pointed at the seat across from Daniel. 'May I?'

Daniel nodded. 'Sure.' He took the moment the man slid into the booth to study him. There was something about him that set Daniel's teeth on edge.

'Hey!' The guy shouted to the back of the diner. 'Can we get some coffee out here?' He looked at Daniel with a 'what can you do' gesture. 'Service is terrible.'

'What is this place?' Daniel asked.

'It's a crossing place between the planes.' The man eyed him speculatively. 'You can call me Jim. You're Daniel Jackson, right? The guy who just tried to take out Anubis?'

Daniel reared back in shock and put the menu back down carefully to cover himself. 'You know about that?'

'Hell, everyone knows about that.'

'Really?'

'Well, everyone around these parts.' He winked at Daniel and leaned over the table as though to impart a secret. 'Someone should stop him.'

'So why don't they?'

'Nobody can.' Jim spread his pudgy hands out over his side of the table. 'Oma knows that.'

Daniel's gaze sharpened inquisitively. 'You know Oma?'

'Sure, I know Oma.' Jim grinned at him again as though he knew a secret Daniel didn't. He leaned back and called out for coffee again before waving a hand at the empty serving counter. 'I should just go help myself.'

Daniel settled back in the booth, determined to find out as much as he could from the strange man. 'Why can't anybody stop Anubis?'

'Because,' Jim said with a smile, 'they literally can't. They left him with just enough power that even someone Ascended can't stop him especially when you consider the power boost he gets from the lower planes.'

'Power boost?' Daniel asked, folding his arms.

Jim slid out of the booth and walked over to the coffee pot. He lifted it in a wordless invitation and Daniel shook his head. Jim poured himself a mug and walked back. 'All those worshippers Anubis has thinking he's a God? It creates power.'

'So if I had fought him...'

'An eternal fight.' Jim said. 'Both of you unable to win; unable to do anything but fight each other.'

'At least he wouldn't be killing anyone else.' Daniel muttered.

Jim laughed. 'The more important question is why the Others allow Anubis to exist at all.'

Daniel frowned.

'Come on, you have to wonder.' Jim said. His eyes glittered suddenly; a faint hint of smugness. 'Ah, maybe you should ask Oma.'

'Oma?' Daniel felt his stomach knot.

'Oma.' Jim smiled but it was devoid of any humour. 'Don't you wonder how someone like Anubis could Ascend in the first place?'

'Get out!' Oma stated firmly.

Daniel looked over his shoulder at where she had appeared as though by magic by the door. He almost did a double-take at her waitress outfit; the pale blue overall with red-brown trim almost making her lush brunette looks plain.

Jim gestured with his mug. 'I haven't finished my coffee.'

Oma glared at him.

Jim smirked at her.

Daniel looked back at him, the disparate pieces of the puzzle suddenly falling into place. 'Oh my God.' The realisation sank into him with horror. 'You're Anubis.'

Jim's grin widened and he toasted him with the coffee.

Daniel moved, springing from the booth, his hands fisted – he had to stop him, had to do something...

And suddenly, Oma was in front of him. She stopped him with a look; part pleading, part admonishing.

Jim laughed. 'Got to hand it to you, Doctor Jackson. You've certainly got fire in your belly.'

Oma spun on her heel to face the Goa'uld. 'I said get out!'

Jim sighed and set down his mug. 'You're just no fun anymore, Oma.' He blinked out of the diner before either Daniel or Oma could say anything more.

Daniel cleared his throat angrily. 'You're going to explain. Now.'

Oma looked at him.

'Everything.' Daniel said firmly.

She waved him back into the booth and moved to the counter. She set down a mug of coffee and some pie in front of him. 'You need to replenish your energy.'

He ignored the food; the sickly sweet smell of the apple and the rich aroma of coffee. He was more interested in the truth. 'You stopped me.'

'Yes.' She didn't deny it.

It infuriated him. 'Why?' He held up a hand before she could speak, fury tightening his chest like a vice. 'And don't give me any bullshit about the rules.'

Oma sighed. She clasped her hands on the table top. 'Anubis is my mistake.'

Daniel's heart sank. 'You Ascended him.' It wasn't a question although he wished it were; how had Oma let Anubis Ascend?

'He came to me in the body of a small boy.' Oma sighed. Pain flickered in her brown eyes and Daniel felt a faint urge to reach across the table to take her hand; he ignored it angrily. 'He told me that he was seeking enlightenment; that he wanted to leave behind the evil of the Goa'uld; leave behind the burden of his genetic memory and embrace a new path.'

'That's why you knew you could suppress it in Shifu.' Daniel realised. 'You'd already dealt with a Goa'uld before.'

'Yes.' Oma said. Her thumbs stroked over each other nervously. 'But I could not suppress his memory if he continued to live on the lower plane.'

The non-interference rule, Daniel surmised silently.

'I had to Ascend him to help him.' Oma shifted imperceptibly. Her jaw tightened. 'But unlike Shifu, Anubis had no intention of following through with it.' She looked away from Daniel, staring at the windows and out into the nothingness of white mist. 'As soon as I realised my mistake, I was horrified...' her gaze moved back to his, 'and that's when the Others stepped in.'

Daniel absorbed what she had told him into his being like a sponge soaking up water. It explained a lot and yet it explained nothing. He sighed. 'They stopped him.'

'They bound him and undid his Ascension to a point.' Oma corrected. 'They placed constraints on him. He isn't allowed to use any knowledge or power unless he otherwise would have gained it as a Goa'uld.'

'But why not just descend him?' Daniel questioned. He read the answer in her eyes and sat back in disbelief. 'To punish you?'

'I broke the rules.' Oma said simply.

'So, what?' He demanded, his hands gesturing wildly. 'They force you to watch as Anubis destroys whole civilisations? Whole planets?' His throat closed up suddenly as she flinched and he stared at her. 'He destroyed Abydos, didn't he?'

'I did what I could.' Oma said quietly. 'Abydos as you knew it is gone. The Abydonians will continue their existence on another plane of reality.'

Daniel blinked back tears. He stared up at the ceiling, crossing his arms tightly over his chest.

'I'm sorry, Daniel.'

'Not your fault.' Daniel said bitterly. It was his. He should have just had Kasuf send everyone to the caves; should have just let Anubis find the Eye of Ra. The Goa'uld probably would have left Abydos intact. Probably. He could have alerted Jack about the weapon afterwards. He should never have confronted Anubis. He'd been so certain of his power; he'd had no idea of what he had truly been facing. The truth was, Daniel mused, that he had acted with all of the arrogance of the Goa'uld; tried to use his power as though he was a God and he had failed.

'I should have told you about Anubis.' Oma said softly.

'Why didn't you?' He wondered out loud. He looked at her again. 'You knew I was tracking his movements.'

She grimaced. 'Your path has always been yours to choose.'

'Right.'

Oma's eyes dropped to the table in response. 'My sister accused me once of Ascending you for my own purposes.'

'And?' prompted Daniel, curious to know the answer.

'I told you once that I Ascended you for balance.' Oma regarded him with an even look. 'I spoke truthfully.'

'You're trying to make amends for Ascending Anubis by Ascending others who you truly believe are worthy to balance the scales.' Daniel realised.

'You have such a truth of spirit.' Oma said passionately. 'You don't even know how rare you are, Daniel.'

He felt a flush creep up his neck at her words, and he ignored it. 'So you didn't Ascend me so I could stop Anubis?'

'No.' Oma smiled sadly. 'You would be condemned to an eternal fight. I could not ask you to do that.'

'What if I wanted to do it?' Daniel asked. He leaned forward. 'What if I volunteered?'

'The Others would not allow it.'

'Because they're punishing you with his existence.' Daniel bit out. He pushed the apple pie away as he placed his elbows on the table edge and leaned forward across the table to take her hand. 'It's unfair. What about everyone else who's suffered at his hands? Haven't you been punished enough?'

'I still do what I do.' Oma said. 'I still Ascend people.'

'So stop.' Daniel suggested.

'It wouldn't solve the problem. Anubis would still exist.'

Daniel felt the bubble of frustration rise up again and steal his voice. Was there no way of stopping the Goa'uld? What was the use of so much power if it couldn't be used for good? He closed his eyes briefly. Hadn't he just chastised himself for thinking he could act like a God? There was no doubt that the non-interference rule existed for a reason; a good reason.

Oma sighed. 'Ascension is not what you envisaged.'

'I wanted to make a difference.' Daniel said, wincing at the defeat in his voice. He withdrew his hand, sinking back into the uncomfortable orange faux leather cushions.

'You do.'

'No.' Daniel shook his head. 'I don't.'

'Do you want to return to your previous existence?' Oma asked carefully.

'I don't know.' Daniel answered truthfully. Where would he go if he did? What would he do? Was there even a place for him on SG1 any longer? Jonas had seemed to have settled in well. And would his team want him back after he had failed them so badly? After he had left them? His heart ached at the thought that they wouldn't want him.

The old feeling of not belonging filled him up and kept him silent.

Oma slid out of the booth. 'I'll be here when you decide.' She nudged his apple pie back toward him. 'Eat your pie.'

Daniel sighed but he picked up the fork and began to eat.

o-O-o

Jack kicked the door shut behind him and heard it slam into place. He haphazardly threw his keys on the table by the door, snapped on the lights and made for the den with the six-pack he had picked up on his way home. He set it down on the low table in front of the sofa before he shrugged out of the leather jacket he wore, and stalked over to the stereo. He turned it on; stabbing a finger at the play button. Classical opera boomed out of the speakers, loud and passionate; fury made sound.

Jack headed back to the sofa and picked up a bottle, knocking the cap off on the edge of the table uncaring about the damage to the wood. He raised the bottle to his lips and lowered it again without taking a sip. He set it on the table slowly.

What the hell was he doing?

Drowning his sorrows? Trying to blot out the day's mission to Abydos and the truth that Abydos was gone with Skaara and the rest of the Abydonians living – if it could be called that – on some other plane of existence? Shouldn't he be celebrating that? They were gone but not gone, exactly. Sure, he'd never get the chance to visit them again, or stand beside Skaara as he pledged his life to the young woman he had become betrothed to; would never dance with Carter at the wedding party and pretend they were more than friends attending a wedding together...but Skaara was alive; the Abydonians lived. Wasn't that a good thing?

It wasn't something to be mourned.

But he would miss them. He would miss Skaara; the young boy had grown into a fine young man. They had shared a bond ever since the first mission to Abydos. It had been a suicide mission for Jack and instead it had been his salvation; Skaara was part of the reason why.

And he was gone. Abydos was gone.

Sadness filled him. Memories, half-forgotten, rose to the surface of his mind: the smell of the Abydonian camp that first time; spice, musk and animal with the heat of the fires warming the desert night, and the feeling of shared camaraderie that warmed from the inside out. He remembered the disgusting armadillo thing Daniel had eaten...

Daniel.

Abydos hadn't been the only thing to save him that first mission out.

'_I don't want to die. Your men don't want to die. And these people here don't want to die. It's a shame you're in such a hurry to.'_

Another memory: Daniel being hit by a staff weapon blast meant for Jack. It had been the first time Jack had seen Daniel die but it hadn't been the last. The last was etched on his brain with the light from Daniel's Ascension bright and glowy in Jack's mind's eye. Fear tickled the back of Jack's throat, dried it up so badly that he had to moisten his mouth, sweep his tongue over his chapped lips.

Was Daniel dead?

He stared at the beer; a muscle in his jaw tensing.

Skaara hadn't known what had happened to Daniel; hadn't seen him. Jack knew deep down in his soul that Daniel had meant what he had promised, that Abydos wouldn't be harmed. That Daniel hadn't been able to prevent it...he'd said Anubis was half-Ascended or something like that. What if he'd gone up against him and failed? Or had been punished for crossing the line – a line Jack had forced him to cross?

He rubbed his hands over his face as though to erase the thought.

Damn it.

Deep down, he knew Daniel would have crossed the line without the encouragement anyway. If Abydos had meaning for Jack, it held ten-fold of that for Daniel. It had been the other man's home for over a year; the place where he had met and married Sha're. Daniel might not have crossed the line for an individual, for Jack – and he tried not to feel resentful about that – but Daniel would have crossed the line for Abydos with or without Jack's push.

He could also remember the look on Daniel's face in their last conversation. The new information Daniel had uncovered about Anubis and the Ascended beings had changed things for Daniel, Jack mused. Daniel hadn't been prepared to put with the rules when it was clear the Others weren't who he had believed them to be; when it was clear Anubis had been Ascended. Had that led to them punishing Daniel? Or had Daniel been defeated and killed by Anubis?

Renewed grief surged through him, painful with all of its sharp edges and he reached for the bottle again.

For a long moment, he stared at the brown glass and the way the light caught the dull colour; at the feel of the cold smooth surface and the rough edge of the label under his calloused fingers. He could almost taste the bitter liquid; feel the way it would slide down his raw throat. He set it down again and got to his feet.

He snapped the music and lights off, snagging his jacket from the sofa before he made his way out of the house. He walked around to the ladder and climbed up to the roof and the look-out spot he had created for his telescope. He sat down in the comfy chair with a huff and reached over to look through the scope. He adjusted its position; changed the zoom and looked out into the dark night.

Abydos.

Jack had spent a lot of time looking up at the stars and into the night sky the year he had been retired after the Abydos mission. He had wondered how Daniel had fared with Sha're; what kind of young man Skaara had turned into; whether they had buried the Stargate.

He sat back in the chair and rested his head against the cold soft cushion. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to believe Daniel was dead. Just the thought that he might be hurt too much. He wanted to believe his friend was fine, was out there, somewhere. He'd already grieved for Daniel too many times to do it again. So had Teal'c. So had Carter.

It wasn't just him; Jack knew that.

As though he had conjured her up, the dull roar of a motorcycle turning into his driveway had his eyes opening and his head turning to see the single headlight cutting a beam across the dark asphalt. He turned back and waited. Carter would figure out where he was.

It took her a few minutes.

He heard the ladder squeak as she climbed up. The air shifted and sent a breeze with the scent of her shampoo drifting across his face. She paused at the top, clearly waiting for him to speak but Jack held his tongue.

He didn't want to send her away; he didn't want her to stay.

It was so damn complicated between them.

He loved her, but he had a duty to protect her so he had tried to move on from their mutually declared feeling feelings and although he had failed, he believed she had no idea that he felt the same way about her anymore. There were days when he let himself believe she still loved him but there were days when he believed that she had moved on too; that she deserved to move on; to find happiness with someone else. In the meantime, he was determined they could be friends, and friends comforted each other.

He'd pushed her away when Daniel had Ascended; Jack wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

'You going to stand there all night, Carter?' Jack asked dryly.

'Sorry to disturb you, sir.' Sam approached cautiously. 'I was out, uh, on my bike, and, uh...somehow ended up here.' He could see her lips twist in the moonlight.

Jack shuffled up and patted the seat.

She sat down, easing into the tight space tentatively. She gestured at the telescope wordlessly; a request to take a look. He waved a hand at her in silent acquiescence. She stared through the lens into the sky for a long while and he knew she knew he'd been looking at the space in the sky where Abydos would be located.

She sat back eventually but didn't speak. He could feel the warmth of her along his side; the soft press of her thigh against his; he ignored the unspoken opportunity to place an arm around her and stayed where he was.

'Do you...' her voice was unsure and vulnerable; so unlike Carter.

He knew what she was asking: did he think Daniel was really gone; had died.

'No.' Jack replied firmly. Daniel wasn't dead: he wasn't.

She nodded jerkily.

Jack sighed. 'He'll be back.' He hoped.

Sam didn't reply. She snuggled deeper into the chair and simply rested her head on his shoulder.

Jack didn't move; didn't breathe momentarily. He could do this, he told himself brusquely. He could be the shoulder she leaned on. She had grieved so badly for Daniel; missed him so much. For a second, a wave of anger toward Daniel suffused him. If Daniel was fine why didn't he show up and put Sam's mind at ease? Put _his_ mind at ease? Why the hell had he Ascended and left them in the first place? Had things _really_ been _that_ bad?

Sam shifted beside him. 'He'll be back.'

He let out a slow breath at her words; a repeat of his to her but they soothed him anyway. He let himself shift, his head turning so his chin brushed her hair. The urge to bury his face in the clean scent of the blonde strands almost too strong to resist...

The growl of a car engine broke the silence. Jack glanced down to the driveway, a flicker of disappointment running through him as Carter moved her head to do the same. The sight of Teal'c and Jonas climbing out of the base car they had obviously appropriated greeted them both. They were carrying pizza boxes.

Sam's stomach rumbled hungrily.

Jack's lips twitched at her mortified expression. 'Come on, Carter.' he said. 'You should eat.'

Sam flashed him a smile and eased out of the chair. He pushed up and stood for a second, letting his muscles relax from their cramped position. Jack waved for her to head down the ladder. Daniel would come back; he'd be fine. He had to believe that because anything else was just unacceptable. Jack sent one final look up into the night sky towards Abydos and went to join the rest of his team.

o-O-o

It was freezing.

Daniel felt the barren ground of Abydos beneath his feet and looked around at the desolate planet. Anubis's weapon had obliterated all life; sent the planet into an ice age that would last centuries. There was ash falling from the sky which was thick with clouds of it.

He focused, closed his eyes and breathed in; searching for the right plane of existence, for the life Oma had protected...

Sand dunes formed around him; the air became hot and dry. Scents of lurao bushes and gata flowers swamped him with their sweetness.

He opened his eyes again and blinked hard at the transformation.

Ahead of him, the Abydonian settlement bustled with people; men, women and children walking about their everyday business with no sense that anything was wrong.

He glanced down at the ground, at the thick golden sand beneath his feet; and up again into the brilliant blue sky with its two suns.

'Father!' Shifu called out to him and Daniel turned in time to sweep the young boy up into a hug.

'We were worried.' Shifu said quietly, his words muffled into the Abydonian robes Daniel wore.

'We?' Daniel questioned.

'Uncle Skaara and I.' Shifu pulled away from his embrace but caught hold of his hand and tugged him through the crowds. 'Grandfather said you would return.'

'You're living among them now.' Daniel realised.

Shifu nodded. 'It is better this way.'

They made their way to Kasuf's tent and Daniel entered a little warily. The last time he had been inside he had promised Kasuf that no harm would come to Abydos.

'Good Son!' Kasuf leaped to his feet to greet him as others came forward to do the same. In less than a minute, Daniel was welcomed into the tent, offered food and drink to celebrate his homecoming.

Skaara entered at a run a moment later. 'Daniel.' He said it with the same Abydonian lilt that Sha're had always had and Daniel felt his heart seize in his chest.

His brother-in-law hugged him. 'You have returned to us.'

'I came to check that you were OK.' Daniel corrected. 'After...' he waved a hand.

'We are fine.' Kasuf said before Skaara could answer. 'Skaara has explained everything.'

'Which is?' Daniel prompted because he had to check and make sure.

'How your friend Oma was able to shift us into a parallel dimension where we can live safely without fear of the Goa'uld ever again.' Kasuf said firmly. 'How you kept your promise that Abydos would be safe.'

Daniel's gaze flickered to Skaara who kept silent as Kasuf called for more food and a celebration.

It was near sunset that Daniel went in search of his brother-in-law. He found him in Sha're's favourite watch tower, watching as the first golden globe sank into the horizon; pinks and oranges flooding the azure sky and painting a picture on the sand below.

Daniel sat down cross-legged beside Skaara and waited.

'Father was right.' Skaara said softly. 'We are safe.'

'All the others are not truly Ascended, are they?' Daniel didn't know why he was asking; he had already worked it out for himself. Oma had shifted their spirits onto another plane of existence, parallel dimension, whatever it was, but she had left the Abydonian society alone in all other respects. Just enough balance between non-interference and interference to satisfy the rules, Daniel thought bitterly.

'Only Shifu and I are Ascended.' Skaara explained. 'The others are unaware; their spirits will live and die as they would have had their physical bodies not been destroyed. Shifu and I are guardians; we will watch over Abydos. '

There was a question – an invitation – in his words that Daniel didn't want to acknowledge. He didn't know where he belonged but he didn't deserve to stay on Abydos.

'Does Good Father know?' Daniel asked quietly.

Skaara shook his head. 'He believes what I told him. And he only knows that your friend returned Shifu to us; that I was the one she spoke with.' He looked out onto the sands. 'Shifu and I are agreed we will live among our people for as long as possible.' He glanced in Daniel's direction finally. 'What of you, my brother?'

'I don't know.' Daniel gave a harsh laugh. 'I've made so many mistakes.' He shook his head. He couldn't help feel but his own Ascension had been one. 'I was so arrogant to think I could keep Abydos safe from Anubis; that I could make a deal with him.'

'You acted to protect us, Daniel.' Skaara said. The stubborn set of his jaw gave away that he would not countenance another view.

'I got drunk on my power.' Daniel contradicted anyway. He grimaced. 'Just like the Goa'uld.'

There was a beat of silence.

Daniel stared out into the darkening sky.

'O'Neill and the others were here.' Skaara informed him.

Daniel's guilt stirred again. 'Are they OK?'

'I allowed them to see the truth; that we lived.' Skaara said. 'They asked about you.' He looked at Daniel. 'Will you see them again?'

'Oma told me it was time to let go of my burden.' Daniel said simply. It had been her last piece of advice – or maybe it had been an order – before he had left the diner after his power had been replenished. And as much as he hated to admit it, she had a point. 'Maybe I should really try this time.' Maybe his power would be easier to handle if he attempted to leave his old life behind finally. The thought of never seeing Jack, Sam and Teal'c again hurt but perhaps it was for the best; it would allow them to move on and live their lives too. He probably couldn't take the risk of seeing them so soon after his attempt to destroy Anubis anyway.

'Where will you go?' Skaara asked.

There was worry in his voice and Daniel tried to smile back reassuringly. 'I don't know.'

Skaara looked back at him; fondness gleaming in his dark eyes. 'You will always have a place here, my brother.'

Daniel smiled sadly. Abydos had never been his destination; he was sure of that. As much as he loved the place and the people; he didn't belong there. There had been a time when he had believed that he did, when he had been married to Sha're and had revelled in her love. But even then he'd wanted to leave, to explore. He had unburied the Stargate. He'd forgiven himself for that at least...maybe one day he would forgive himself for Anubis destroying Abydos even knowing the Abydonians had lived through it in some way.

Daniel moved to his feet and was unsurprised when Skaara followed. They hugged goodbye and Skaara left without another word. Daniel turned to look out of the watch tower as the second sun disappeared and turned the night sky purple. His eyes narrowed through the darkness to where Earth would be thousands of light years across the galaxy. He couldn't go back; he couldn't stay.

He shifted form, turning into light.

He could only move forward.

o-O-o

**Part 2: Step Forward **

The mood in the gate room was solemn as befitted the occasion. There was only a small group gathered for the memorial for Doctor Kieran, Jonas's mentor. SG1 were all in attendance with the military officers in their service blues. General Hammond and Janet Fraiser had also turned up in uniform as had Doctor Mackenzie. Teal'c knew Jonas was simply pleased that anyone had turned up at all. He glanced over at his young friend.

Jonas was pale but his eyes were clear. He looked good in a dark charcoal suit that Major Carter had helped him select. He held onto the small wooden box containing the remains of his professor with care and reverence. Kieran's death had been swift, a series of major strokes in a matter of hours that his brain had not been able to endure. It had not been entirely unexpected given the damage done to his body and mind from the naquadria radiation he had been subjected to but Teal'c knew Jonas felt the loss keenly.

'Perhaps you'd like to say a few words, son.' Hammond prompted softly.

Jonas started as though in surprise but nodded. He cleared his throat. 'I know you really didn't know Doctor Kieran all that well but he was a good man. He was a good friend. I will miss him.' His voice broke on the last word and Teal'c watched Samantha Carter inch closer to their young team-mate.

Hammond nodded up to the control room in a silent signal. The Stargate began to spin. A moment later the wormhole blossomed in the centre, a rush of blue and white that punched outward until it settled back into its usual shimmering circle. The address was to a planet in the last throes of its life. The box would be incinerated by the heat as soon as it passed to the other side.

Jonas walked up the ramp and quietly pushed the box into the event horizon. It disappeared but he stayed, fixed to the spot, as the wormhole winked out.

'Dismissed.' Hammond said softly. He and the medical staff walked out, leaving SG1 alone.

Teal'c looked over at his human team-mates; O'Neill and Major Carter were both looking with concern at Jonas stood at the top of the ramp, his head bowed. They looked back at Teal'c. Silently, they all agreed Teal'c would take point. Although the others had forged their own relationships with the Kelownan, Teal'c shared the closest bond with him.

Teal'c stepped forward. He made his way up the ramp almost silently. He stood just behind Jonas and waited.

Jonas stared up at the silver Stargate and Teal'c caught the glimmer of tears in his eyes. 'I can't believe he's gone.'

Teal'c remained silent. He knew Jonas's relationship with Doctor Kieran was not unlike his own with Bra'tac. The loss of the older man was a blow for Jonas. More than that, it was the loss of one of the last remaining links Jonas had with his home planet and former life.

Jonas shook his head. 'I only saw him the day before and he was fine.'

'Doctor Fraiser said it was sudden.' Teal'c concurred.

'He was fascinated by the idea of the tablet.' Jonas pressed his lips together. 'He gave me some good ideas about how to go about translating it.'

And had given Jonas renewed confidence to keep trying despite his lack of success in the week since they had returned from Abydos, Teal'c mused. He had seen how Jonas had set to work with more enthusiasm in the wake of his visit to his mentor.

'Speaking of which,' Jonas sighed, 'I should get back to it.' He looked back at Teal'c and past him to where their other two team-mates waited. He started down the ramp and Teal'c followed him.

'Want to grab some cake?' Jack asked as Jonas came to a halt in front of their team leader.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow and shot a look toward Major Carter who had ducked her head to hide her smile. Cake was O'Neill's usual response to a difficult situation.

Jonas shook his head. 'I was planning on getting back to the translation.'

O'Neill's eyebrows rose a little and his gaze went sharply to the Major beside him. She shifted subtly, drawing Jonas's attention.

'You know no-one expects you to do that today.' Sam said gently.

Jonas shrugged. 'Honestly, I just want to stay busy.'

Another silent look passed between the three original members of SG1; understanding that they had to let Jonas handle his grief in his own way competed with their concern.

'OK,' Jack said out loud, 'but cake first.' He held up a hand before Jonas could protest. 'You have to eat, right? Energy for all that brain exercise?'

Jonas acquiesced with a sigh.

They all headed to their quarters to change before meeting up in the mess. The afternoon snack was welcome. Teal'c demolished a sandwich and a large slice of cake before finishing with a selection of fruit. Jonas's appetite seemed non-existent. He forced down the cake but only Teal'c suspected because Jonas feared disappointing their team leader if he had refused it. The Kelownan excused himself as soon as he could and the others let him leave, watching his exit with worried eyes.

'He left some of his cake.' Jack sounded scandalised.

'He's upset, sir.' Sam said succinctly. She picked up her mug and dunked the tea-bag again before setting it aside.

Teal'c swallowed an orange segment. 'You are worried, O'Neill.'

'Don't get me wrong,' Jack began, 'but this couldn't have happened at a worst time.' He sighed, motioning with his coffee mug. 'We kinda need him focused right now.'

'I believe Jonas Quinn understands the importance of translating the tablet.' Teal'c said stiffly, unhappy at the implied criticism in O'Neill's words.

'I'm not saying he doesn't, and I'm not even saying it's his fault if he is a little distracted.' Jack said firmly. 'Just...,' he waved his mug again, 'not a good time.'

Teal'c inclined his head accepting the sincerity in O'Neill's words.

'I think Jonas will be fine, sir.' Sam said. 'If anything it's clear that he wants to, uh...'

'Bury himself in work?' Jack supplied.

There was a pause while they all thought about whether that was a good thing or not.

'He will need someone to replace Doctor Kieran as a sounding board.' Teal'c said eventually, returning to his thoughts as he had waited with Jonas at the top of the ramp.

He was not surprised to see O'Neill immediately look across the table at Major Carter.

She lowered her mug and frowned. 'I'm not sure I'm the right person, sir.'

'He respects you.' Jack argued. 'And you're both scientists...'

'With completely different disciplines in this case.' Sam retorted. Her fingers traced an idle pattern on the table-top. 'You two have more experience with Ancient than I do.'

Teal'c refrained from pointing out that she and Daniel Jackson had often acted as sounding boards for the other, and he could see O'Neill making the same effort not to say something similar.

'He requires a mentor.' Teal'c said mildly.

'He needs Daniel.' Jack muttered, saying what they were all thinking.

Sam's gaze fell to the table.

Teal'c felt her anxiety as palpably as his own. They had heard nothing from their former team-mate since their departure from Abydos just before Anubis had destroyed the planet. They were all concerned that he had not survived whatever confrontation had taken place.

Sam took a sip of her tea. Her blunt fingernails tapped the ceramic. 'The reports coming in about the power of Anubis's super-weapon are disturbing.'

'The Jaffa report that two more of the System Lords have fallen.' Teal'c concurred, not questioning the change in subject.

Jack grimaced. 'I should have blown it up when I had the chance.'

'And undoubtedly we would be dead.' Teal'c replied.

'Your point?' Jack replied.

Teal'c tilted his head in response. They may have died but perhaps it would have been better for the rest of the galaxy if they had destroyed the Eye of Ra.

'The Tok'ra are working on leads to understand how the weapon works.' Sam continued. 'If we can establish that then...'

'We can blow it up.' Jack said. He drained his coffee mug. 'It's a plan.'

And one that did not require them to be dependent on the translation of the Ancient tablet, Teal'c considered dryly. It was not that they did not have confidence in Jonas Quinn – he was certain of that – more that they all knew that it would be wise to have a fallback in the event that such a translation of the tablet proved impossible.

'Team night.' Jack declared as he got to his feet. 'You bring Jonas. I'll bring the beer.' He left before either of them could respond.

Sam sighed heavily as she watched him stride out of the mess.

'You are worried about him.' Teal'c observed quietly.

'You mean Jonas?' Sam tried unsuccessfully to cover her discomfort that he had guessed her concern for O'Neill.

Teal'c simply stared at her.

'I think he feels responsible for Abydos.' Sam mumbled, lowering her gaze.

It was an astute observation, Teal'c realised. O'Neill would feel the weight of his decision to follow Daniel Jackson's instructions to hand over the Eye; for the destruction of Abydos that had followed; for the way Anubis was destroying the galaxy in the wake of completing his weapon.

'And he's worried about Daniel.' Sam sighed again.

Teal'c waited a long moment. 'Perhaps it would be wise to take additional cake this evening.'

Sam smiled and Teal'c was pleased to see it. She had been unusually quiet since the mission to Abydos. She fiddled with the handle on her mug for a moment as though debating something.

'Teal'c, can I ask you a question?'

He nodded, reaching for the apple he still had to consume.

'Why didn't you tell me you'd seen Daniel?' Her words spilled out in a rush.

Teal'c set the apple down and held her gaze. 'I did not wish to upset you.'

'You thought it would upset me to know he was OK?' Sam asked, confusion settling over her delicate features.

'I believed it would bring back the memory of his passing and the grief you then experienced.' Teal'c explained. He waited until he saw understanding enter her blue eyes before he continued. 'I also wondered briefly whether I had merely dreamed of him.'

She nodded slowly. He could see the intent to change the subject before she opened her mouth and asked him about Bra'tac and Rya'c. His mentor and son were travelling, spreading the word of the Jaffa cause to bring more warriors to the fight.

'Rak'nor reports that they have moved on again.' Teal'c informed her.

'How many warriors have they convinced so far?' Sam teases him.

'Twenty-one.' Teal'c replies; the pride coated his words.

Sam nodded and set down her mug. 'Well, I should get back to work.' She stood up and stretched before reaching for her tray. 'See you later.'

Teal'c watched her go and reached again for the apple. He wondered briefly how Bra'tac and Rya'c were faring. Rya'c was young but he was a good warrior. Teal'c knew Bra'tac would ensure Rya'c's safety as much as he could. A nagging worry had him frowning though.

Teal'c could feel the lack of strength in his own body from using tretonin. He had struggled in the fight at Abydos; had barely made it back to the pyramid and had little strength to prevent the deaths of the young men around him. He feared his weakness was also shared by Bra'tac. He suppressed his sigh and disregarded his worry. He could do nothing but hope they would remain safe.

o-O-o

Daniel had no idea why he felt drawn to the planet he had ended up on after what seemed like days of drifting around the universe trying to find anywhere that didn't remind him of Earth or Abydos or any of the planets he'd visited with SG1.

Everything on the planet he'd landed on was dark, cold and dismal. Desolate. Maybe it played to his state of mind, he mused. He was hidden from the natives but he had assumed human form again; clothing himself in dark robes rather than white. His Ascension had lost the shiny perfection of angelic colours.

He began to wander through the slave camps and was surprised by the number of Jaffa but the knowledge of why skipped into his mind easily; the atmosphere was too harsh and toxic for humans to survive the conditions for long. He stared up at the ha'tak in the sky; partially built and hanging over the slave camp like a predatory eagle.

He shivered.

The name of the planet caught his ears as he made his way through the camp: Erebus. It seemed appropriate. If he remembered his Greek mythology correctly, Erebus was the place the condemned passed through on their way to die.

A burly white-blond Jaffa who was clearly the overseer yanked a weak slave out of the line and into the centre of the camp. Daniel froze, watching as the slave was strapped to a post and whipped. The young boy was about Rya'c's age.

He shivered again.

The sound of gliders had him jerking his gaze upwards and the sight of so many filling the sky had him automatically ducking for cover despite the knowledge that they couldn't see him. Ba'al's troops, Daniel realised. They had come to take control of Erebus.

Something else tugged at his senses and he focused, shifting through space easily until he found the source: Bra'tac. Daniel felt a surge of horror at finding the Jaffa hiding on the planet and it increased again when he realised Rya'c was huddled beside him, along with some other Jaffa they had evidently liberated from the camp and recruited to their cause.

The old Jaffa grimaced as they watched the troops descend on the camp.

'What do we now, Master Bra'tac?' whispered Rya'c beside him.

'We must leave immediately.' Bra'tac said sharply.

One of the Jaffa pointed back towards the forest. 'We are cut off from the ship.'

'Then we go through the Stargate.' Bra'tac said. 'We will be able to lower the iris.'

Iris? Daniel frowned. He hadn't heard of the Goa'uld using an iris over their Stargate but it made sense that they would. They scavenged everything.

He would stay with them, Daniel mused, just until they were safely away from the planet. He watched as they made their way to the gate.

Bra'tac deployed his men in a pattern that Daniel recognised and he silently held his breath as they successfully took the Stargate, zatting the guards with ease. Bra'tac dialled the Alpha site but before they could move, Ba'al's troops surrounded them. Daniel watched helplessly, his keen eyes seeing Bra'tac silently sending a signal with the iris deactivation code before the wormhole winked out. If the Alpha site registered the signal; if they knew what it was or were curious, Bra'tac, Rya'c and the others stood a chance.

There were too many ifs. Daniel felt his frustration rise up again. He couldn't help them, he reminded himself brusquely. He had promised Oma that he would let go of his burden; that he would not interfere as he had done on Abydos. And who was he to interfere anyway? If he believed he could his power in that way, it made him no better than the Goa'uld.

But it was painful.

He couldn't stay and watch. He spent a night wandering aimlessly; his mind returning time and again to Bra'tac and Rya'c's plight. By the next day, Daniel couldn't bear it. He went back and watched as Bra'tac was whipped to spare Rya'c.

Daniel knew he could spare them both; whisk them away from the planet in a heartbeat – save them and the other Jaffa that were being held.

He readied his power.

'Are you really willing to risk it?' Morgan Le Fay's cultured tones asked behind him and he turned to find her watching him a few meters away.

Daniel deflated at the sight of the Ascended woman. 'You're here to stop me.'

Morgan shook her head. Her brunette bob was styled back into a classic chignon and she wore similar robes to his rather than her usual white. 'I thought you might have need of a friend.'

'Are we friends?' Daniel asked bluntly.

She seemed amused more than anything. 'I wouldn't call us enemies.'

Daniel walked over to her and they sat on a large rock, both of them keeping watch on the camp.

'I'm not sure I can do this anymore.' Daniel admitted. He gave a hard laugh. 'I'm not sure I ever could.'

'You cannot let go of your burden.' Morgan said softly. She waved a hand toward Rya'c and Bra'tac. 'Of the bonds of your past.'

'I Ascended because I thought I could do more.' Daniel said. He shook his head. 'Instead, I'm doing nothing.'

She waited patiently as he gathered his thoughts.

'I understand.' Daniel said quietly. 'I understand why I'm not supposed to use my powers. I know that to use them, to interfere with the lower planes gives me too much power over life and death. I'm not a God. I get that.'

'But.' Morgan said.

'But,' Daniel's lips twisted, 'what use is it to have this power if I can't use it for good?'

'Do you remember when we met on the Isle of Apples?' Morgan asked, seemingly changing the subject although Daniel believed she wasn't; that she was attempting to answer his question.

'You asked me if I Ascended for knowledge or power.' Daniel sighed heavily. 'I said I wasn't sure; that sometimes it felt like I Ascended for neither and sometimes it felt like I Ascended for both.'

Morgan smiled. 'And if I asked you now?'

'It's become all about the power.' Daniel ruminated aloud. 'And the fact that I can't use it to save the people I love.' He grimaced, unhappy about the revelation. How was he any better than Anubis when all was said and done?

'Anubis Ascended for power.' Morgan agreed as though she had read his thoughts – he wasn't sure she hadn't. 'He had read stories of how the race that called itself Alteran had Ascended and become pure energy. More than that, he had discovered an Ancient scroll which contained some of the early thoughts of a rival religious sect that had caused the Alterans to flee their galaxy for another. It detailed how an Ascended being acting like a God could generate more power through the devout worship of his followers. Ascension was all about power for Anubis.'

'Why is he allowed to continue to exist as...as what he is?' Daniel asked furiously. 'Why not send him back? If it was to punish Oma I think she's learned her lesson...'

'But she hasn't.' Morgan said firmly. 'She still continues to Ascend those who cannot Ascend themselves.'

Daniel's anger flared again. 'And so what? The rest of us don't matter?' He was oblivious that he had counted himself among the non-Ascended. 'All those on the lower planes just have to suffer because Anubis is what he is? You don't care at all?'

'He can be stopped.' Morgan said firmly.

'Oma wouldn't let me.' Daniel argued, gesturing at her wildly.

'Because it's not your destiny to stop him.' Morgan held up her hand. 'The Others would have stopped you if she had not.'

'It's not fair.' Daniel stated brusquely.

'You're disappointed in us.' Morgan noted. 'You had placed those who had Ascended into the realms of angels only to find that we are as fallible as the human form we once wore.'

Daniel flushed at the truth of her words.

Morgan smiled sympathetically. 'Do you remember what else you said to me on the Isle of Apples?'

'Does it matter?' Daniel snapped, uncaring about his rudeness.

'That all that it took for evil to triumph was for good men to do nothing.' Morgan repeated. She adjusted her robes as though cold. 'My friend Moros would have agreed with you.'

'Moros?' Daniel questioned.

'You knew him as Merlin.' Morgan's gaze took on a distant look as though she was seeing the past. 'He believed for so many years that non-interference was the way; held to the principle so tightly.'

'What changed his mind?' Daniel asked, his curiosity aroused by the mention of the infamous wizard of Arthurian legend.

'A vision sent to him warning him of a great evil.' Morgan sighed. 'Once he had seen it, he could not stand by and do nothing.'

'Wait, a vision? Of great evil?' Daniel questioned. 'In the past, right?'

Morgan smiled grimly. 'Do you really want to know?'

Daniel winced and shook his head.

'Moros Descended.' Morgan continued. 'He gave up the power because he knew he could do more as a human to ensure that evil did not triumph.'

'But he kept his powers.' Daniel commented. 'He used them to help Arthur.'

'Did he?' Morgan questioned. 'There's so much that's lost in time and myth. I rather think what Moros retained was his knowledge.'

'But you think I should do the same.' Daniel realised. 'Descend.'

Morgan gazed at him with more empathy than he wanted. He felt his face redden under her knowing stare.

'Those seeking Ascension for knowledge and only knowledge are those who find true peace in this form.' Morgan murmured. 'Because there is no burden in leaving behind the life lived before; no need or want for the power; no reason to play God.'

'But what use is knowledge even if you cannot share it with anyone?' Daniel recalled the words Ernest Littlefield had said to him on Heliopolis.

He had never let go of his burden because his bonds were too important to him; sharing his knowledge was part of who he was. The memory of how close he had been to staying with the Ancient device on Heliopolis on the pretext of learning shot through him. And it had been a pretext because ultimately his main motivation had been escape. Escape from the loneliness he'd felt after losing Sha're to Apophis; the torment of searching for her never to find her; the war they were embarking upon with the Goa'uld.

Hadn't he used Ascension for the same reason? When Morgan had last questioned him over his Ascension, he'd even joked with her that he didn't know whether he had Ascended simply to escape his former life; the constant losses that the war wrought in its wake; the sense that he was losing himself in the fight against the Goa'uld; the fear that he didn't belong with SG1; wasn't making a difference. In truth, he hadn't Ascended for power or knowledge, although he'd believed he would have both, but to escape; to find a way to make a difference when it seemed he failed so often to do so as a mortal.

It was galling to realise the truth.

Because he would never make the difference he so wanted to make if he remained Ascended; he would always have to do nothing. _And evil would triumph._

Perhaps he couldn't destroy Anubis as an Ascended being but perhaps there was another way to destroy him if he was human.

Daniel glanced over at the camp; at where Bra'tac and Rya'c toiled. And perhaps in his former life, he could save his friends.

'Then you have your answer, Doctor Jackson.' Morgan said softly.

He turned to Morgan to thank her only to find her gone as though she had never been there.

He gathered his power a final time. He would need to find Oma.

He knew his destination.

o-O-o

Jonas blew out a frustrated breath and threw the pencil he held down onto the bench. He stretched his arms up, arching his back, pulling the green t-shirt he wore taut over his torso and briefly showing the outline of the muscles he had developed.

'Damn it.' He muttered. He shook his head. He was getting exactly nowhere with the translation. Nowhere.

He ripped the latest page of his scribbling from his notebook and threw it toward the pile around the bin. He'd stopped trying to get them into the wire basket around the third or fourth day he'd been focused on the translation, just after he'd gotten back from seeing Doctor Kieran for the last time.

A wave of sadness rushed through him. He missed his professor. The older man had known him in a way none of his team-mates did and understood him in a way they didn't. He had worked for so long with the other man that they had developed a way of communicating that was innate – a bit like the way the original three – four if he included Daniel – members of SG1 were able to talk to each other without words. He sighed and ripped out a second page, balled it up and sent it in the same direction as the first.

Sam walked in just as the crumpled up ball missed the pile and landed by her foot. She nudged it towards the bin and continued into the room. 'Hey, how's it going?'

'It's not.' Jonas said, softening his blunt statement with an attempted smile. Sam looked good, dressed in the usual green BDU pants and the long-sleeved black shirt. Her silver dog-tags glinted against the black. 'How about you?'

'I'm kind of stuck trying to figure out what exactly the device SG8 found on P9Y745 does.' Sam said, wandering around to lean on the bench beside him.

'Well, I'm no further forward with this.' Jonas said bleakly.

Sam stared at him for so long Jonas began to wonder if he'd accidentally smeared pen on his face or had something between his teeth.

'What?'

'Come on.' Sam patted his shoulder. 'Let's get out of here.'

Jonas looked back at the tablet. 'I should...'

'Follow me.' Sam said with a bright smile.

He heard the insistent order in her tone and carefully packed away the tablet before following her out. She made a stop to the mess to pick up some sandwiches and drinks. Jonas's stomach rumbled hungrily and he realised he'd skipped lunch and possibly dinner; he'd kind of lost track of the time. She made him grab a coat while she grabbed hers and led him into the elevator.

Jonas watched as the floor indicator ticked away steadily. They finally made it out to the top of the mountain into the darkness. Sam nodded an acknowledgement at the guard before she led the way to a patch of grass illuminated by the artificial security lights and sat down, gesturing for Jonas to do the same.

'I don't...' Jonas began.

She threw a pack of sandwiches at him. 'Eat first.'

Jonas sighed but he gratefully unwrapped the food and sank his teeth into the turkey sandwich. The sharp tang of lemon mayonnaise made his mouth water and he chewed briskly, ravenous. He demolished one half before he looked up at the sky. It was dark; the stars dotted the heavens like sequins on blue satin. It was beautiful.

Jonas felt his muscles unknot for the first time in days. He breathed in the fresh air as though it was water and he was thirsty. He ate the second half of his sandwich with more finesse.

Sam handed him another pack when he was done along with a bottle of apple juice. He drank half the bottle before he started in on the second sandwich.

'These are great.' He commented.

'They're Teal'c's favourite.' Sam said. She screwed up the plastic wrapping and dropped it beside her. He knew she would pick it up before they left. Littering was a strict no-no.

'He has great taste.' Jonas murmured around a mouthful of sandwich.

Sam leaned back on her arms and threw her head back as she looked up to the stars. 'Daniel and I used to come up here sometimes in the early days.'

Jonas paused; the sandwich half-way to his mouth. He took a slow bite, chewed and swallowed it before he answered her. 'Really?'

'We'd both work late, be here at some crazy time and we'd have forgotten to eat something.' Sam explained. Her eyes were on the sky; her sight lost somewhere in the past. There was a fondness in her expression, in her tone, that made Jonas ache a little. 'One of us would go searching for the other and we'd end up...out here, having an impromptu picnic and using each other as sounding boards.'

Jonas brushed some crumbs from his t-shirt. He wondered if he had missed some cue. 'You want to use me as a sounding board?'

'Actually, I was thinking you might want to use me as a sounding board.' Sam replied, looking over at him. 'I know I'm not a linguist but...' she shrugged.

'Two heads, right?' Jonas completed. He was fairly certain the Colonel had put her in charge of keeping him motivated and supported during the translation and he felt a moment's resentment that her gesture was probably no more than her following orders. Which was a mean thought, Jonas berated himself. Sam might have been ordered to help him focus but she was his friend and he knew that her sharing something of her friendship with Daniel with him was special.

He finished the sandwich and screwed up the plastic, setting it aside as she had done. He picked up his drink. 'I think I'm beginning to get how you felt when the Stargate was about to blow up and everyone was looking to you for the solution.'

Sam shifted to sit cross-legged; she rested her elbows on her knees, propping her chin up on her clasped hands. 'Tell me.'

Jonas sighed and launched into his explanation; how nothing made sense, how he barely understood Daniel's journals on Ancient, how the syntax didn't seem to work, how the rules in the journal didn't seem to match the Ancient on the tablet. It all tumbled out in a rush. '...I'm no further forward than I was the day we brought that thing back and people are dying out there from Anubis and this super-weapon.' He finished passionately.

Sam was silent.

'Sorry.' Jonas grimaced. 'I didn't mean to dump that all on you.'

She waved away his apology. 'So, to recap,' she paused with a glint of amusement in her eye that should have warned him, 'it's not going well.'

Jonas laughed. The tension that had wound up again as he had talked, disappeared. 'That about sums it up.'

Sam smiled at him. 'You shouldn't feel guilty about not making progress, Jonas. We all know it's going to take time.'

'I talked through some of this with Doctor Kieran before he, uh.' Jonas stumbled to a halt before he gamely tried to continue. 'Before he died.' His throat closed up.

'You miss him.' Sam stated sadly.

Jonas knew it wasn't a question but he nodded anyway. He looked away into the sky and sighed. Sam placed a hand on his arm, comforting him.

Jonas dragged his mind back to the translation. 'I've tried the things that Doctor Kieran suggested but I still can't make any sense of it.'

Sam removed her hand and shifted on the grass beside him. 'You said that the rules in Daniel's journal didn't work on the tablet?'

'Maybe I'm just not reading them right.' Jonas said quickly, trying to dispel any notion that he had been criticising Daniel. 'I mean, he must have spent weeks translating the Ancient writing on the time machine and in the Heliopolis device. The rules must be correct.'

'Maybe not.' Sam murmured. She shrugged at Jonas's questioning look. 'You said yourself that the tablet is one of the earliest forms of the Ancient language.'

'Right.' Jonas agreed.

'So maybe some of the rules that worked for the Ancient language Daniel translated actually don't work for the tablet.' Sam pointed out. 'Language drifts over time, right?'

'Right.' Jonas said again, thinking over her words. 'I guess it's a possibility it's just...I'm not a linguist.' He blurted out. 'I mean, not in the way he was. I mean, face it: we completely mangled the translation of Goa'uld on my planet. If he was here...'

'Don't assume that Daniel's work was completely correct either, Jonas.' Sam cautioned him. 'You've worked with us enough to see we all make mistakes.'

He probably did have Daniel up on a pedestal, Jonas considered. The other man had saved his people; saved him. And the work Daniel had done was brilliant; there was no question of that in Jonas's mind. But Sam was right. He had to consider that Daniel might have made a mistake. If the rules didn't work...maybe the rules weren't right.

'And use whoever you need to.' Sam instructed gently. 'We have a whole department of linguists who should be able to help you.'

Jonas nodded. He gave a small smile. 'I still wish Daniel was here to help me though.'

Her smile faded and Jonas could have kicked himself. 'Sorry.' He gestured at her. 'I know you're worried about what's happened to him.'

'I think it's the not knowing.' Sam said eventually. She motioned up at the stars. 'When he Ascended, he was gone but we knew he was OK even if he wasn't with us but this time...' she sighed, 'I just wish he'd turn up.'

Jonas stopped himself from making the observation that there was a possibility Daniel couldn't just turn up. The other man had seemingly broken some major rules to help them. Sam didn't need to hear that.

Sam sighed again and looked over at him. 'So, about the translation...'

'Thanks. This helped but I should probably get back to it.' Jonas said.

He pushed off the ground and snagged their litter as Sam climbed to her feet. He watched her walk back to the door and followed her reluctantly, the pressure of expectation subtly crawling back up his spine. Jonas cast a look toward the sky. Maybe he wasn't Daniel Jackson but he'd do his best; that's all he could do.

o-O-o

**Part 3: Falling**

The diner was busy.

It was the first thing that hit Daniel as he entered. The booths were filled with people of all shapes and sizes. One man sat in the corner reading a newspaper and eating waffles. A couple of old women took up another, drinking coffee and knitting.

Daniel frowned and hesitated on the threshold, assailed by the noise and chaos, the smell of peach pie and strong black coffee.

Oma caught sight of him and waved him forward. She ushered him into a booth, snagged a pencil from above her ear and smiled at him as she readied her notepad. 'So what'll it be today?'

'I, uh...' Daniel shot another look around the busy diner, wondering who the other customers were – people Oma had Ascended or the fabled Others themselves?

'Don't worry about them.' Oma said quietly, her expression becoming serious for a moment. 'They won't acknowledge you.'

'So they're...' Daniel let the end of his sentence dangle enticing like bait.

'Others.' Oma nodded and he caught the flicker of nerves in her sherry brown eyes. She pinned on a smile. 'So, you were saying you wanted...'

Daniel shifted on the leather seat, uncomfortably feeling like he was the floor show. He cleared his throat. 'I'd like to go home.'

The diner went quiet.

Oma stared at him and he saw genuine surprise skate across her features before she schooled them into her usual calm mask. 'I thought you said,' she began.

'I did.' Daniel confirmed. He held her gaze and ignored the silence. 'I'd like to,' he made a diving gesture with his hand, 'go back.'

Oma shot the customers around them a look to mind their own business and a hum broke out across the diner, a whispered hush. Oma slid into the booth opposite Daniel and set her pad down on the table.

'Have you really thought about this?' Oma asked seriously.

'I've thought about nothing else.' Daniel gave a pained smile. 'I thought,' his throat closed up suddenly on a wave of unexpected emotion, 'I thought I wanted this more than anything.' He waved his hand around the diner. 'I mean, what could be better than knowing the meaning of the universe?' He took a breath and looked at her. 'But all I've ever really wanted is to make a difference. Maybe I thought I could do that here but I can't.'

Tears stung the back of his eyes as he continued to look at her, needing her to understand his decision. 'I want to help my friends.' He said passionately. 'I want to stop the Goa'uld from hurting people.' He stabbed the table with a finger. 'I want to make a difference.'

Oma clasped her hands on the table. 'And you think you can do that by Descending?'

'I can't do it if I stay here.' Daniel shot back. 'I have no power here, not really.'

Oma looked away from his intent gaze; from the truth that he spoke.

'There are consequences of Descending.' Oma said softly. 'If you go back...I can't guarantee that I will be able to help you Ascend again.'

'I realise that.' Daniel said. 'I wouldn't ask you to.'

Oma pressed her lips together. 'There's more.'

'More?' Daniel raised his eyebrows.

'You haven't been Ascended long enough to Descend on your own.' Oma said. 'I would need to help you.'

'Is that a problem?' Daniel asked, surprised. If she wouldn't help him...maybe Morgan would.

Oma waved a hand at him. 'It means that you wouldn't be able to keep any of the knowledge you've gained during your Ascension.'

'Knowledge?' Daniel questioned tentatively.

Oma licked her lips briefly. 'Your memories of your Ascension, everything you have learned here would all be erased.'

'All of my memories?' Daniel winced at the sound of his voice rising.

'Your brain wouldn't be able to handle the information.' Oma said implacably.

'Like Jack when he had the Ancient information downloaded into his brain.' Daniel realised.

Oma looked momentarily confused before she seemed to understand his reference. She nodded slowly. 'Something like that only more.'

'More?'

She smiled enigmatically. 'One is an ocean; one a lake; one a garden pond.'

'So, humans are pond life?' Daniel said amused.

Oma's lips twitched. 'Your race is young.'

Daniel felt something loosen inside of him at her words; _his_ race. 'So we've been told.' He dragged his mind back to the subject. 'So I'd lose my memories.' Which would mean he couldn't save Rya'c and Bra'tac, he realised. He wouldn't remember that they were in trouble. And he wouldn't remember the truth about Anubis.

Her eyes narrowed on him. 'Some memories may come back to you in time.' She tilted her head. 'If you deemed them important enough.'

So he could try and hold onto the information about Bra'tac and Rya'c, Daniel mused. Could he risk it? Risk going back and losing the opportunity to just to drop in on Teal'c and tell him? But what if he was stopped from doing that? Wasn't it better to go back and try to help them rather than run the risk of not being able to help them at all?

'Nothing is without risk, Daniel.' Oma murmured.

'I'm getting that.' Daniel muttered. He pulled a face. He had to go back; he had to try to save Rya'c and Bra'tac. He had to make sure he remembered them somehow.

'You really want this?' Oma murmured.

There was a catch in her voice that surprised him into looking at her closely. Her face was calm; whatever feelings she had were hidden.

But he nodded and gave her a half-smile. 'I do.'

Oma breathed in deeply. 'Then we will do it.' She rose from the booth, changing form; her waitress outfit giving way to the white suit that she usually wore in human form.

The bell tinkled and Oma stiffened. The diner went silent again.

Daniel didn't need to look behind him to know who had entered. He stood up anyway to face Anubis.

The Goa'uld wore the form of Jim, the pudgy human man that he had taken on his previous visit to the diner. There was a smirk playing across his reddened features. He clapped his hands. 'Rumour has it that you're on your way back, Danny-boy.'

Daniel felt the hairs stand up at the back of his neck. An atavistic warning to fight or flee. He straightened his shoulders and stared down the Goa'uld. 'I'm going back where I can stop you.'

Anubis laughed. 'Give it your best shot.' He grinned. 'No human can touch me.'

'No, I can't touch you as an Ascended being.' Daniel said firmly. He took a step toward Anubis. 'And that's what you counted on at Abydos. You knew someone would stop me.' He took another step forward in the tense silence, his footstep echoing on the tile. 'Because everyone here is so intent on letting you exist to punish Oma for trying to do the right thing, which, by the way,' he turned to say to the on-looking customers, 'is unfair to a good person who was only trying to do a good thing, and really unfair to the rest of us.'

Anubis's cold eyes glittered at him dangerously as Daniel's gaze returned to him.

'But when I'm human again...' Daniel smiled; his own blue eyes hardening in determination. 'I will find a way to stop you and nobody here will be able to stop me.' He took another step forward almost toe to toe with the Goa'uld. 'Because they don't interfere with the lower planes.'

Anubis's face darkened; a purple flush staining his florid cheeks and neck. 'I'll destroy Earth like I did Abydos.' His hands fisted by his sides.

'You can try.' Daniel said calmly. He folded his arms around his torso. 'Of course, you've tried to destroy us before and...' he gave a half-smile, 'we beat you. SG1 beat you. And we'll beat you again.'

They stared at each other for a heartbeat.

Anubis tore his gaze away from Daniel to glare at Oma. 'I hope you put your boy somewhere safe, Oma.' He smiled nastily. 'I'll be waiting for him.' He turned around and walked out.

The diner broke out into a cacophony of noise.

Oma placed a hand on Daniel's arm as he breathed out, trying not to show how much the confrontation had shaken him.

'There's somewhere I need to go first.' Daniel said as their forms began to disintegrate; their energy mingling.

Oma simply smiled. 'I know.'

And Daniel knew she did: they were going back to the beginning for him, back to Abydos; it was time to say goodbye.

o-O-o

'It was a shame Jonas couldn't stay.' Cassie said as she helped her mother clear the table.

Sam sent an amused look Janet's way and her friend rolled her eyes in response. 'You didn't mind me bringing him along?'

'It's cool.' Cassie gave a shrug but her eyes gave away her pleasure. 'He's OK.'

'I'm glad you think so.' Sam said dryly. She remembered a time when Cassie hadn't been that fond of the Kelownan.

Cassie handed another plate for her mother to load into the dishwasher. 'So why'd he have to leave?'

'He's working on an important project right now.' Sam picked up her glass and took a sip of diet Coke. The project that still wasn't getting anywhere despite the hours Jonas was putting in. She'd finally dragged him out of the mountain to have lunch with the Fraisers. She and Cassie had a standing arrangement that they played chess on Saturdays when Sam was Earthside, and she had hoped that the young woman wouldn't mind him gate-crashing. As it was, Cassie had seemed much more excited to see Jonas than she had to see Sam. Sam suspected a crush. Her lips twitched.

'So no hot date?' Cassie probed less than subtly as she cleared the last of the plates.

Oh, yeah, Sam thought, controlling her expression with difficulty; huge crush. 'No hot date.' Sam said lightly.

The doorbell rang.

'Won't that be Dominic?' Janet interrupted the exchange, looking at her daughter pointedly.

Cassie's eyes went to the clock on the wall and she gave a surprised huff. 'I'm late!' She hugged Sam hard before she whirled away to plant a kiss on her mother's cheek. 'See you later!'

Janet sighed as her daughter rushed out, the front door slamming behind her to punctuate her departure. She glanced over at Sam who refused to hide her amusement any longer. Janet wagged a finger at her. 'It's not funny!'

Sam slid off the chair, smoothing the wrinkles from the skirt she wore and walked over to stand beside Janet by the counter. 'You have to admit it's a little funny.'

Janet grimaced. 'She talks about him all the time.'

'She's still dating Dominic.' Sam pointed out, trying to reassure her friend.

'Yes,' said Janet dryly, 'and she mentioned how immature he is compared to Jonas just the other day.'

Sam laughed. She handed her empty glass to Janet. 'If she's going to have a crush on someone, Jonas is a good choice. He's a nice guy.'

'I know.' Janet sighed and closed the dishwasher. She pointed at the coffee pot and Sam nodded. 'I just wish you'd forewarned me you were bringing him.'

Sam winced at the subtle reprimand. 'Sorry.' She waved a hand at Janet. 'It was a last minute thing.'

Janet filled the machine with water, efficiently adding a filter and freshly ground coffee before setting it to work. She leaned back on the counter. 'It was a good thought.' She admitted, crossing her arms over the pale green sweater she wore. 'He needs to get out of that office occasionally.'

Sam regarded the concern in Janet's eyes with a frown. 'You think he's working too hard.'

Janet paused as though considering her words carefully. 'I think he's under a lot of pressure for someone who had brain surgery less than a month ago.'

Sam pulled a face; Janet had a point.

'I know your Dad and Selmak helped to accelerate his healing so he was fit for duty sooner than normal but...' Janet sighed, 'I can't help feeling that he should be taking things easy rather than having the weight of the world on him at the moment.'

'You're probably right.' Sam agreed gently. She turned away from the counter to stare out at Janet's backyard. The patch of lawn seemed vibrantly green in the sunshine. 'But we don't have a choice since Daniel...' she stopped abruptly.

For a second, neither woman spoke.

'I meant to tell you that I'd told Cassie about Daniel turning up.' Janet said softly.

Sam shook her head, remembering how the teenager had fired question after question at her. Was he OK? Did he seem happy? Did he miss them? 'It's just...,' she struggled for an accurate description, 'hard,' she said finally. 'As great as it was seeing him on Abydos, we don't know if he's OK _now_.'

Janet reached over and squeezed her arm gently before moving away to check on the coffee.

Encouraged Sam shifted to look at her friend fully. 'I just wish if he is OK that he'd show up and let one of us know.' She grimaced and crossed her arms. 'Not that he'd probably choose me for that.'

Janet looked at her sharply.

'Sorry,' Sam muttered, 'it's...everyone saw him but didn't tell me.'

'I didn't see him either.' Janet said, raising her hand. 'And I'm sure the reason why the others didn't say anything is probably a combination of uncertainty and,' she gestured vaguely, 'you know...'

'Not wanting to upset me?' Sam nodded. 'Teal'c said as much when I asked him.' And it made sense. She hadn't asked the Colonel but she figured his reasons would be similar and given when she believed the Colonel had seen Daniel – during his time with Ba'al – she could understand him not wanting to talk about it.

'It's OK to be hurt that they kept it from you.' Janet observed astutely. 'I'm not thrilled myself.'

Sam flushed but nodded. But that wasn't the only thing that hurt. It hurt more to think that Daniel had chosen to appear to the others but not to her. She sighed heavily at Janet's sympathetic look and figured her friend had guessed at her thoughts anyway. 'I know it's stupid to be jealous that he showed up to be with the guys and not with me but...'

'I understand how you feel.' Janet said. She smiled. 'I didn't get a visit either, remember?'

Sam nodded, feeling more than a little foolish. 'Like I said it's stupid.'

'And natural to feel left out.' Janet countered. 'I know I do.' The machine beeped and Janet moved swiftly to pour out two mugs of coffee. She handed one to Sam and kept the other before she led the way back to the dining table.

Sam sat down and wrapped her hands around the mug, letting the stinging heat warm her palms. She breathed in the rich scent and took a scalding sip. She set the mug down gently on a coaster. 'On one level, I get why he appeared to the guys: they were in trouble, alone and he was there for them. And I understand that I was never in such an extreme situation as they were.'

'You know Cassie's determined to believe that dream she had of Daniel telling her it wasn't her fault about Nirrti was really him paying her a visit.' Janet commented.

'Maybe it was.' Sam acknowledged.

'So maybe,' Janet theorised, looking at Sam over the rim of her mug, 'maybe Daniel visited you, maybe even me, in a dream; we just don't remember it.'

Sam grimaced. It was certainly better than thinking he hadn't cared enough to look in on them as he had done with the others. And that was unfair to Daniel, Sam mused. Daniel cared about them all; she knew that. If anything his problem was that he cared too much; wanted to make a difference too much. She recalled what the Colonel had told him when he had debriefed them after Daniel's Ascension; of Daniel's unhappiness, of his belief that he could do more as an Ascended being.

Guilt bubbled up inside her again. Sam couldn't help but feel that she hadn't been a good friend to Daniel the year before his Ascension. She had been so caught up in her own problems and issues before the incident on Kelowna, she thought tiredly.

'I just hope he's OK.' Sam murmured. 'He broke some pretty big rules to help us.'

Janet studied the depths of her coffee intently. 'Do you think they'll punish him by sending him back?'

It was a thought that had occurred to Sam. Part of her wanted Daniel back – a selfish part that simply wanted her friend back in her life. Part of her knew Daniel had Ascended for a reason and didn't want him back if it wasn't what he wanted.

'Sam?' prompted Janet with a laugh.

Sam looked over at her ruefully and shrugged. 'I don't know, Janet. If he comes back...' she gave a sad smile, 'I'd rather he came back because it's what he wants, not because he's being punished.'

Janet nodded. 'Me too.'

Sam was relieved as Janet changed the subject and they began to discuss the latest about the device SG8 had found on P9Y745 which Sam had discovered was some kind of medical scanning device similar to a MRI but pocket-sized.

But as Janet enthusiastically recalled the latest experiments, Sam's mind wandered back to Daniel.

Was he OK? He had seemed so angry with everything when he had told them to give Anubis the Eye; so determined to save Abydos. All the revelations about the Ancients being Ascended; about Anubis being partially Ascended...there had been disappointment in his tone.

Maybe Daniel _would_ want to come back, Sam thought; her hope rising in a way that it hadn't done for a very long time. Maybe knowing the truth would make him decide differently...

'Sam?' Janet waved a hand in front of her face and Sam jerked back into the present.

'Sorry.' Sam smiled apologetically and her mind searched for the last thing she remembered Janet saying. 'So they think they might not be able to replicate the power source?'

Janet looked at her knowingly but she continued to talk. Sam took a sip of her coffee and continued to think about Daniel.

o-O-o

Daniel stood in front of Sha're's grave. Oma stood some distance away, waiting patiently. He stooped and gently rested a hand in the sand, his heart and mind full of memories. He blinked hard against the tears that sprang up, shivered despite the warm air.

Sha're's death had hit him harder than he had ever wanted to admit, Daniel realised. Losing her; losing his search for her had left him untethered and drifting. He'd been looking for somewhere to belong; a new mission. He'd gone looking in the wrong place; travelled such a long way to find that his destination was where he had begun: SG1. What had Oma said to him once? That if he immediately knew the candlelight was fire the meal was cooked long ago? Well, maybe he'd just worked it out.

Of course there was the snag that he was going to lose that knowledge when he went back to his human form. And he would lose the memory of saying goodbye to Sha're one last time. It was important. Too important; he hoped he could hold onto it.

'I love you.' Daniel whispered in Abydonian. 'I always will.'

There was a faint breeze that caressed his cheek and he closed his eyes briefly, wondering if he could scent the perfume Sha're had worn; the brush of her fingers against his skin.

He opened his eyes again. 'Goodbye, Sha're.'

Daniel straightened and looked over to where Oma stood. She was clothed in white robes similar to the ones he had assumed when they had appeared on Abydos. As though his mind had conjured them up, Skaara and Shifu shimmied into being beside his Ascended mentor.

Daniel walked over and came to a halt in front of them.

'You have discovered your destination, Father.' Shifu said approvingly. His young eyes gleamed with a wisdom beyond his age. Daniel wondered if the young boy had always known where Daniel would end up.

'I have.' Daniel said softly.

Skaara nodded unhappily. 'We cannot convince you to stay, my brother?'

'Abydos will always mean more to me than you can know,' Daniel said passionately, 'but I can't stay here knowing that SG1 is facing danger because of what I told them to do; because of Anubis.'

He felt Oma's flinch rather than saw it but he ignored it.

'I need to be where I can make a difference.' Daniel finished.

Skaara nodded again.

Shifu moved first and Daniel wrapped the small boy in a fierce hug. He would miss Sha're's son; the son they might have had together if Sha're hadn't been taken by Apophis.

'I will miss you, Father.' Shifu's voice was thick with tears and Daniel felt his own emotions tighten his chest; clog up his throat.

'I will miss you too.' Daniel said solemnly.

Shifu moved away and Oma rested a hand on his young shoulder comfortingly. Skaara moved forward and Daniel found himself in another hard embrace.

Skaara moved back before he spoke. 'When you want to come home, our Stargate will work for you, Daniel.'

Daniel could only nod; too choked up at the gesture to speak. He knew it would be a one way trip if he did; just as much a suicide mission as Jack's that first time.

Skaara reached out and clasped his shoulder. 'Sha're...' his voice shook and he took a breath, 'My sister would have been proud of you, Daniel.'

Daniel watched as Skaara stood back and held out a hand to Shifu. The young boy took it eagerly, looking up at his uncle with a hero-worship that reminded Daniel of the way Skaara had once looked at Jack O'Neill. They transformed in front of his eyes and disappeared.

Oma stepped forward to stand beside him. 'They love you very much.'

'I love them.' Daniel said sadly. He realised it was unlikely that he would ever see them again. Maybe Abydos would be his last journey through the Stargate one day, Daniel considered tiredly; maybe.

'You can still change your mind.' Oma said softly. 'If you want to stay...'

'No.' Daniel said firmly. 'I'm ready.'

Oma's dark eyes filled with sadness. 'We've disappointed you.' Her mouth twisted. '_I've_ disappointed you.'

Daniel shook his head. 'You saved my life.' He took hold of her hand. 'And I'll always be grateful for the opportunity you gave me.'

'I created Anubis.'

'No,' Daniel corrected, 'you tried to do a good thing and you made a mistake.' He smiled wryly. 'I've made plenty myself.'

'If I could erase what I did, I would.' Oma said sincerely. For a second, she looked lost as though she wished she could stop him but didn't know how.

Daniel squeezed her hand. 'Maybe you won't have to.' SG1 would find a way to defeat Anubis, Daniel thought determined.

Oma's fingers tightened around his. 'Are you ready?'

'Yes.' He grimaced. 'I can't say I'm looking forward to losing my memories.'

'I will do what I can; hold onto those you most wish to remember.' Oma promised. Her dark eyes held his. 'I will ensure that you are safe, Daniel. That which you wish to remember will come back to you in time.'

Daniel nodded. His nose wrinkled. 'So how do we do, uh, this?'

Oma smiled. 'Give me your other hand.'

He placed his free hand over their clasped hands. She did the same.

'Close your eyes.' Oma instructed.

Daniel smiled at her; a last goodbye before he followed her order. His eyes shut out the bright Abydonian suns; the golden sand.

_Hold onto me_, Oma said in his head. _I will keep you safe._

Thoughts and memories whirled in his head. Anubis, Daniel thought panicked; he had to remember Anubis: Jim! He had to remember that name. And Bra'tac and Rya'c – he had to remember they were in trouble – had to remember that! And Sha're...always Sha're...

He could feel his body start to form; it was fire, burning hot and bright around him as bone and muscle and sinew formed.

He tried to cry out but couldn't; his voice frozen in his throat.

Senses fired up, nerves alight and overloaded with feeling...he panted through the pain and agony of rebirth.

Everything was bright; too bright and just when he could not stand it any longer...

Darkness.

Slowly, consciousness filtered through the fog. He could hear his heart beating; his breaths punctuating the silence raggedly; air filling his lungs.

There was ground beneath his naked body. Every nerve tingled; every sense was overwhelmed. Smell of dirt and grass in his nostrils; he could taste iron blood in his mouth. He was cold, so cold; he was shivering violently. He couldn't see past the blur in his eyes...and in his head, a void.

He couldn't remember...there was something he needed to remember...

But there was nothing.

Not even a name...

o-O-o

**Author's Note:** And so we're at the end of Season 6! I hope you join me for Aftershocks (Seasons Seven and Eight) - please add me to your author alert or keep a look out on my profile page. Thank you for all your support to date!


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